Marvel Mares

by neorenamon

Rating: mature
Tags: Dark, Alternate Universe, Comedy, Random, Adventure, Crossover
Length: 30401

Stories of ponies with amazing powers and how it's all... different.

Part 1: Doctor Twilight Strange begins a journey into black magic. All because she wanted to restore her disfunctional horn and regain her ability to use magic, but sinister forces work behind the scenes in ways she never could have imagined. It seems like fate that she should become the Sorceress Supreme of Equestria.

Part 2: Pinkie Parker starts school as a somewhat withdrawn young mare, but soon discovers that the fates won't let her stay that way forever. Especially after an accident involving a spider…

Part 3: An god-pony is banished to Equestria for her arrogance and pride. Can she return to the graces of the All-Father, or will she find that Equestria is not such a bad realm to be stuck in?..

Part 4: An eccentric pony is planning the first manned (uh.. ponied?) space flight in the history of Equestria, but things aren't going well for Time Turner Richards. Budget and time constraints are making him launch the rocket before it's fully tested. In order to make the flight work at all, he must take his full research team with him: Fluttershy Storm, Lightning Dash Storm and Big Mac'Grimm. Little does he know how this Fantastic Journey shall end or what shall come from it…

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-11-20 09:15:20 UTC

Tails of the Strange (Part One)

by neorenamon

'Ugh,' she thought, 'Why did I decide to go cheap on winter clothing? I'm going to die in the Crystal Mountain cold... for nothing...'

The violet unicorn mare lay in the snow freezing to death. She no longer had the strength to move one leg. The clothing she bought just wasn't adequate to protect her from temperatures well below freezing. At least on the good side, the cold made her numb enough not to feel the other aches and pains she had.

And she had plenty of time to recall what got her to this dismal location in the first place... barrels of root beer.

...

She was trembling with delight as she read her scroll again for the umpteenth time.

Twilight Strange hereby receives her Doctorate of Magic Degree

by decree of the Canterlot Institute of Higher Magical Studies,

approved and endorsed by Princess Celestia

The diploma was placed back into her saddle bag. With that, she had the right to open a magic shop. She could study magic to her heart's content and find some way to make a living with her spells. The stars were the limit on what she could do with her powers. But most of all, her work had to be great. Great enough to catch the attention of Princess Celestia. Once a pony had her favor, there was nothing they couldn't get. No high society function she couldn't get into.

She was so wrapped up in her own thoughts that she was completely oblivious to the preparations for the Grand Galloping Gala going on all around her. Wagons loaded with all manner of food and drink were hauled by her as she walked up the street towards the Royal Canterlot Library. After all, what better place to begin her studies for the best place to set up her magical shop and the kind of magic that would best get the attention of Princess Celestia?

"I'm sure the Princess would be so impressed if I master the spell of teleportation," she mused aloud as she walked along, "That spell has so many practical purposes. And it's really flashy at the same time. Who wouldn't be impressed by a spell like that?"

"Uh..." grunted a large Earth pony stallion as he lead a team of six ponies hauling a huge wagon up the hill, "Why do they expect us to overload wagons like this just to save one trip?!"

She glanced up at the stallions struggling to pull the wagon loaded with barrels up the hill towards the Canterlot Palace. But only a quick glance. She was far to busy to worry about what they did for a living. The fact she was going the other way alone proved she didn't have the time to even think about helping them.

And since they were working stallions, they wouldn't have thought to ask some unicorn mare to help them out when they were just doing the jobs they were supposed to be doing anyways. So they didn't even look at her as she trotted by them in the opposite direction. She weaved behind the wagon to avoid another wagon coming up the hill as well.

'You'd think they make an allowance for traffic going down the hill,' she thought slightly annoyed.

Then something happened that she had never felt before. Somewhere in the distance, there was a large explosion. She looked up in time to see a rainbow ring as it expanded across the Canterlot skies. The tingle through her body told her it was some kind of powerful magic that she had never seen before.

She was so busy looking up that she didn't pay attention to the breaking sound of wood up the hill. By the time she looked towards the sounds, she saw a dozen large barrels bouncing down the road towards her. One barrel shattered in the street sending a wave of brown fizzy liquid at her. She slipped as she tried to get out of the way of the others, but it was too late...

...

The next thing she remembered, she woke up in the hospital. Her head, neck and chest were wrapped up in bandages and her front legs were set in casts. In fact, her entire upper body was hurting her something fierce. She could only see from her right eye as her left eye was completely covered over.

A nurse mare came by and looked at her charts. A small pink mare with a bright red mane and tail. She wore a white uniform covering the forward half of her body leaving her red cross cutie mark clearly visible on her flanks. It was the standard cutie mark of professional nurses after all.

"Welcome back," she said softly, "You've been unconscious for almost a full day."

She tried to talk, but couldn't open her mouth to say anything.

"Oh don't try to talk," she said, "Your jaw is broken on both sides. It's been wired shut for your own healing. As soon as the Doctor comes back, he'll use his magic to speak to you without having to use words. But in the meantime, I'm sure you'll be wanting a pain killing spell. Unless you shake your head, I'll assume you want it?"

She remained still so the nurse went ahead with casting the pain killing spell on her. It felt really good. Since she wasn't going any where or doing anything, the Nurse used a much stronger pain killing spell which left her feeling just a bit numb all over. Definitely not the kind of spell one would take when they were planning to operate heavy machinery.

"The Doctor will be along to see you shortly," she said as she moved on to the next patient's bed.

It surely didn't feel like a short time before the Doctor finally showed up at her bedside. He was a brilliant white unicorn stallion who was somewhat taller and leaner than normal. Like the nurse, he had a uniform that was as white as he was, but it was clearly the uniform of a Doctor instead of a nurse. He had the usual stethoscope about his neck and the small mirror headband around his head just under the base of his horn.

"Let me look at your chart before I say anything," he said as her chart floated before his eyes. "I see," he said as pages flipped. "Interesting," he said as more pages flipped. "Tragic," he added as he put the chart back.

Twilight made some sounds.

"Oh right," he said as he cast a spell on her.

"What's wrong?" she asked with her disembodied voice.

"Well," he began, "You were crushed under several barrels of root beer. Among other things, you suffered compound fractures of you front legs, shoulders, ribs, neck, jaw and skull. Your horn was crushed almost into powder from the force of the blow to your head. We had to perform radical spells on your brain just to keep you alive long enough to get you to the hospital."

"What does that mean?"

"Well..." he said suddenly awkward, "While we can rebuild you body..."

"Go on..."

He gulped hard before he continued, "We believe you'll never be able to perform magic spells again."

"NOOO!!!"

...

Days passed as her body was repaired. Since she was so focused on her career, she hardly had any friends to come by and see her. Even her parents only stopped by once to see how she was doing. She was so depressed that she really didn't want to see anypony anyways. It was only the painkilling spells that let the hospital staff perform the others reconstruction spells on her body in the first place. Even with the pain controlling spells, she still felt her body hurting almost everywhere.

But because of how highly she was regarded in the unicorn community, no expense was spared for her. By the time the reconstruction was finished, she was assured that she would look like the accident never even happened. In fact, she might even look better than she did before she suffered it. But no spell, drug or assurance could stop the emptiness she felt inside. The void in her soul she felt because she no longer had magic inside her.

Even though the Doctors were fully sure she would never do magic again, she would prove them all wrong even if it took her the rest of her natural life to do so. As the days passed the bandages came off. Then the splints were removed. But she still had one eye covered as repairing the pony eye was one of the most complicated restoration spells known. Even more complex than repairing the heart, but of course not as hard as repairing the brain.

After a week, she entered into physical therapy. While she could have gotten by with spells alone, therapy increased her speed of recovery from years down to a couple of months. Each day, she worked herself to exhaustion trying to recover and relearn how to move gracefully as quickly as she could. She was always a driven mare no matter what she was mastering.

Yet every time she looked into a mirror, the image of her rebuilt horn mocked her. It was a normal horn as far as it looked, but she hated it because it couldn't do the one thing she most wanted it to do: Channel her magical energies. At times, she just wanted to break it off again because of how it seemed to mock her inability to use magic again.

Then the day finally came when the eyepatch came off, and she could use both of her eyes once more. She was grateful for the fact she had binocular vision once more, and that she still had full color vision from both eyes without any noticeable side effects. Two perfectly good eyes to see how powerless and miserable she was...

But at least she was well enough and mobile enough to make trips to the Hospital's Library. Reading books and scrolls from their collection gave her something else to think about besides how miserable she felt.

Then she found a book that changed everything: Ancient Spells of the World. There was six volumes to the massive work. It supposedly cataloged all the most obscure spells known. She always felt that most of the spells were myths and fairy tales, but she decided it wouldn't hurt to read them. Starting with Volume One, she began skimming the pages as she used speed reading to look for medical spells. Her eyes almost popped out of her head when she found the spell she was looking for: Magical Restoration of Spell-Casting Abilities for Unicorns.

She stopped on the page to read it in detail. Her heart raced as she looked over each paragraph. She had to know who had the spell and where it was last known to be. Her hopes faded as she read that the only known caster of the spell was Starswirl the Ancient One, and he was last seen in a secret shrine lost somewhere in the depth of the Crystal Mountains buried in a state of eternal winter. A powerful unicorn hermit who was considered to be the most powerful spell caster in the known world. Even better than Celestia herself.

'I'll see this Ancient One if it's the last thing I do!'

...

Twilight awoke in a comfortable bed. She could feel heat radiating from one side of the room, and the crackling sounds assured her that it was a fire from some kind of fireplace.

"Well," she muttered to nopony in particular, "It's not nearly hot enough to be Tartarus, so I must not be dead..."

"You're right about that," said a nearby mare.

She raised her head and opened her eyes to see a mare standing by the fire. Her clothing was all dark green and she felt it was about two or three centuries out of style. She also wondered how she could get around with the large curved spikes from her shoulders or the flowing green cloak with the yellow lining to it.

"Did... you save me... from freezing to death?" she asked awkwardly.

She turned to look at her with her blue-green eyes as she replied, "No, I did not. The Ancient One bothered to save you."

"The Ancient One?!" asked Twilight, "That's the stallion I've come all this way to see!!"

"Well aren't you the lucky one," she replied sarcastically, "What do you want to see him about? All knowledge of magic? Eternal life? Limitless power?"

"No," she replied, "I just... just want to be able to use my magic again."

"Well I'm sure you can ask the Ancient One about that yourself when he comes by to see you."

"Thank you."

She raised an eyebrow as she replied, "Thank me? For what? I haven't done anything for you." Then she smirked as she walked out.

Then a small purple dragon came in after her bearing a tray with food and drink on it.

"Ah, the Master has asked me to tend to you," he said evenly, "I hope you're feeling better. Since I have no idea what you like, I've prepared several entrees and a few different things to drink."

"Thank you," she replied, "Who might you be?"

"Me?" he asked, "I'm Spike Wong, a humble dragon servant to the honorable Ancient One."

"Well I'm Doctor Twilight Strange," she replied, "Nice to meet you."

"We don't get much company up here," he said as he offered the tray to her, "Mostly ponies the master doesn't want to deal with."

"Really?" she asked, "He doesn't like ponies seeking knowledge?"

"Oh it would be great if they were just seeking knowledge," he replied, "but most seek limitless power to use for their own selfish goals."

"All I want is to use my magic again," she sighed as she picked up a plate with a dandelion sandwich on it. She set it aside on the stand next to the bed, and then she took a cup of dark tea and set it aside as well. "I think this should be enough," she said. She started eating, but noticed that Spike wasn't moving. "You don't need to watch me eat, do you?" she asked.

"It's my duty to take care of your needs as the Ancient One commands," he replied evenly.

"So when do you think the Ancient One can see me?" she asked somewhat nervously.

"I'll inform you as soon as he wants me to tell you."

She nodded. Then she paused before she asked, "Does he have a library?"

"Of course."

"Do you think he'd mind if I read some of his books later?" she asked nervously.

"I shall be sure to ask on your behalf," he replied.

"Thank you," she sighed, "I... really like books."

"If there's anything you need..."

"Tell me," she asked, "who was that mare who just left?"

"Her?" he asked, "She's the Ancient One's pupil: Baroness Sunset Mordo."

"Sounds like a really cheery mare," she muttered.

...

The day came when she was granted audience with Starswirl the Ancient One. Her heart pounded in her chest as Spike lead her to the Master's personal office. She noticed that the Baroness was standing in one corner of the room even as she approached. The whole room was almost bursting at the seems with all the things stuffed into it. She looked about at all the the shelves overflowing with books, scrolls, tomes, manuals, catalogs, librams and the like. And scattered about the room were all manner of trinkets ranging from huge wooden globes to bronze telescopes to brass reinforced wooden chests.

But then she saw the Ancient One himself. His beard alone was so mighty that she could see anything else but his face. She couldn't even tell if he was standing or sitting in the back of the room.

"Go on," said Spike.

So she nervously walked forward until she stood before him.

"Please," she begged, "I've come all this way..."

"I know why you're here," he announced, "and I cannot help you."

"WHAT?!" she yelled.

"You are only here for your own selfish ends," he continued, "and I do not help those who are selfish."

"THAT'S NOT FAIR!!"

"You have three days to recover," he announced, "and then I shall teleport you back home. Never try to come here again."

She turned around and fled the room leaving a stream of tears behind her. In the corner of her eye, she could see the sneer from the Baroness.

Tales of the Strange (Part Two)

by neorenamon

After her request was denied by the Ancient One, Twilight retreated back to her room to weep in private. She just couldn't understand why her request to have her magic restored was denied. She wanted to make spells to help ponies. Was it so wrong to ask for a little something in return so she could make a living off it? She curled up on the bed like a newborn and weep many bitter tears.

"I'm sure it's not as all bad as it seems," said Spike.

Twilight jerked her head up and wondered how long Spike had been standing there.

"Why?!" she whined.

"The Ancient One knows many many things," he replied, "i'm sure there's a good reason he denied you request."

"What good is a unicorn without magic?!"

"I'm sure there's things you can do without your magic," replied Spike.

"I just... I just... want to DIE!!"

Spike hugged her and said, "It can't be that bad. I sweat I'll talk to the Ancient One and see if he'll change his mind."

"You'd do that... for me?" she sobbed.

"Of course," he replied, "I'm sure he just doesn't understand how important magic must be to you."

She put her head on his shoulder and began crying harder.

"Just promise me you won't kill yourself," he said as he patted her neck, "You have three days for me to get the Ancient One to change his mind about fixing you. I swear I'll do everything I can for you."

She didn't say anything, but he could feel her nodding against his shoulder.

"I'm sure that some nice Chamomile tea will calm you right down," he said as he backed away, "I'll have some here for you before you know it."

It took a few minutes for her crying to subside. "I wish... I could have... a friend like you," she sniffled.

"Then you're in luck," he said with a wink, "You already do."

Spike returned later with the tea and she went into a fitful sleep.

...

"So you want your magic back and that stingy old Ancient One won't do it?!" hissed a nightmarish voice.

Her eyes snapped open to show her that she wasn't in bed any more. She wasn't sure where she was. It was surely no place she had ever seen in Equestria. It looked like a surreal moonscape as much as anything.

Then she saw the creature that had addressed her. An alicorn mare the likes of which she could never have imagined. Her coat and wings were a sickly dark green and her eyes seemed to glow blood red. Her mouth was full of jagged fangs and that mouth never seemed to close. When she looked, the creatures wings snapped out fully to make her seem all the more frightening.

"Who are you?! What do you want?!" snapped Twilight.

"I have many names," she replied, "but you can call me... Nightmare Moon!"

"Well I can see the nightmare part..."

"Look," she snapped, "Do you want your magic back or not?!"

"Of course I do!"

"Well I can tell you how to get your magic back if you agree to help me."

"Yeah," she replied, "I know enough about magic to know how these Faustian deals work out."

"You look like a mare of your word," replied the alicorn, "I'll tell you how to get your magic back first, and then you can pledge your loyalty to me."

"You can't do that yourself?"

"No," she replied, "but you're in the right place already. The Ancient One has relics that can fix you."

"What good would those do me without magic?!"

"Because you don't need magic to use them," she hissed back, "You just have to speak the right words to command them."

"I take it you know the words?"

"Of course I do," she hissed as she smiled.

"How can you talk without moving your lips?"

"I'm the master of the Dream Dimension," she replied, "Of course I don't use my mouth to speak in my own realm."

"I don't know if I feel right about this," she mused as she looked away.

"Yet only a short while ago, you were all but ready to kill yourself!"

"How do you know that?!"

"Master of the Dream Dimension?!"

"Oh, I guess that makes sense..."

"Now I'm going to wake you up sometime around midnight," she continued, "The Ancient One and the others should be sound asleep. Just sneak into the library and look for the vault. You open the vault by..."

...

Twilight awoke in a cold sweat. Looking out the ajar window shutters, the moon was near it's peak in the night sky. Just like Nightmare Moon said it would be.

'That was a strange dream,' she thought, 'but I guess it wouldn't hurt to sneak into the library and see if it's true.'

She got to the bed and slipped over to the door. Hearing nothing outside, she cracked the door open to confirm the hallway was empty. Then she began creeping down the hall in the direction of the Library. But as she got closer, she heard noises coming from the Library. Voices speaking in low tones.

"Yes Master," said a mare's voice, "Soon I shall poison the Ancient One so that he cannot stop your plans to invade this world."

"Yes," hissed a strange voice, "For too many centuries has my plans been thwarted by that wretched unicorn!"

Fortunately, the door was cracked open just enough to see that Baroness Mordo was speaking to a flaming head in the mirror. A strange creature with two different horns on each side of his head.

"I shall poison his drink in the morning," she said, "He'll have no knowledge of what happened to him and his magic until it's far too late to stop it... or you."

"Yes," he hissed back, "I want the Ancient One alive to be humiliated in my moment of triumph!"

"And I shall get my reward for my act of betrayal?" she asked as she rubbed her hooves together.

"Yes," he replied, "The lair of Starswirl the Ancient One and all of its contents shall be yours."

"It's funny how the Ancient One thinks that foolish unicorn is selfish, yet completely trusts a selfish creature like me!"

"You can be... quite the charmer... when you want to."

"The best part is with that special chalice you gave me, even magic won't detect the poison until it's too late."

"Just remember that all the drinks look the same, so be sure not to drink the poison yourself."

"I remember well," she replied, "The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle, and the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true."

"Very well," replied the flaming figure, "The Dreaded Discordmammu expect good news tomorrow."

"And you shall surely get it."

Twilight slipped away as the Baroness chanted some spell to close the mirror link. She barely got back into her room before she heard the Baroness leaving the library. No matter how bad off she was, she just couldn't let the Ancient One be poisoned like that. He didn't deserve that sort of treatment. So she stayed awake until morning. She didn't want to face Nightmare Moon again without following her instructions. Nor did she want to sleep through breakfast. She had to do something to stop the Baroness.

As the sun came up, there was a knock upon her door.

"Breakfast will be ready soon," said Spike, "Do you need directions to the dining hall?"

"No," replied Twilight, "I know the way."

"Very good. See you at breakfast," he said as he walked away.

'Think Twilight, think!' She opened the closet to see a rather long red cloak. 'This will work just fine.' It even had a large wide collar that covered her whole head from the back.

Putting the cloak on, she went out into the hall headed for the dining hall. Soon, she was walking in the door even as the Baroness was using her magic to set a tray with two drinks on it before the Ancient One. The chalice from the palace was already glowing and floating over towards the Baroness' mouth.

Rushing over, she placed her hooves at the end of the table using all of her weight and strength to up end it. All of the content of the table came crashing down on her back. Keeping her head down, the collar of the cloak kept her head covered.

"What is the meaning of this?!" asked the Ancient One.

She looked up at the dismayed looks from both Spike and the Baroness.

"How could you repay the Ancient One's hospitality like this?!" hissed the Baroness.

"Cast a detection spell on the spilled drinks and you tell me," she replied evenly.

The Ancient One's horn glowed before he announced, "There's poison in my drink?!"

"The fiend tries to poison you!!" cried the Baroness.

"How could that be?" asked Spike, "I already checked the drinks for poison when the Baroness handed them to me!"

"You should be asking that of Baroness Sunset Mordo," she hissed back, "and her partner in crime, the Dreaded Discordmammu!"

Spike and the Ancient One turned their gaze to the Baroness.

"You're fired!" growled the Ancient One.

"Remember this day Doctor Twilight Strange!" hissed the Baroness, "You've made yourself an enemy for life!"

Her horn glowed as an energy bolt from her horn blasted her across the room. She slammed into the wall making crack over a good portion of the wall she hit. Before anypony could react, the Baroness teleported herself away.

Spike rushed over to Twilight's side and began a healing spell that made her body glow.

"See Master," said Spike as he looked at the Ancient One, "She's not as selfish as you think. Ruining the Baroness' plan placed her at great rish."

"You are right, Spike Wong," he replied, "I owe you an apology. I shall restore you magic and teach you whatever spells you wish to learn from me. It's the least I can do."

...

Over the next six years, not only was Twilight's magic restored, but the Ancient One was so impressed with her magical potential that he taught her all of his secret spells. She learned them so quickly that he decided she was the one fit to become Equestria's Sorceress Supreme.

He also gifted her with all of his old artifacts that went with the Sorceress Supreme title.

The Amulet of Ohmygoddo. The vessel for the All-Seeing Eye of Ohmygoddo. A relic that grants Twilight Strange the power to see anything or through almost anything. It cannot be bedeviled by invisibility or illusion. It also acts as the brooch to the Cloak of Levitation.

The Cloak of Levitation that allowed her to fly as well as any Pegasus.

The Book of the Ventasso. Contains all spells that have ever been known to ponykind.

Cauldron of the Cosmos. Apparently great for scrying and making a mean Manehatten Corn Chowder.

The Orb of Ohmygoddo. Apparently the more powerful brother to the Eye of Ohmygoddo.

The Wand of Wa-boom! Does some kind of wind based magic.

Then the day finally came when Twilight learned all she could, and she was ready to go back to Canterlot.

"I have been most pleased with your time here," said the Ancient One.

"And I thank you for all you've taught me," replied Twilight.

"Are you sure you wish to return to Canterlot?"

"Yes," she replied, "My magical powers will do the most good there."

"Very well," he said, "Then I shall give you two last gifts before you leave."

Spike stepped forward with a golden chest as he said, "But Master, the chest contains but one gift."

"This golden orb within the chest will transform whatever residence you take up in Canterlot into a magical Sanctuary that only those you allow in can enter," he said evenly, "Even demons, gods and monsters cannot enter without your permission."

"Thank you so much," she replied.

"As to the other gift," he said as he looked at Spike, "From now on, Spike Wong, you shall serve the needs of the new Sorceress Supreme."

Spike blinked like the news totally caught him off guard.

"Are you sure about this Master?!" he asked when he found his voice.

"I am positive," he replied.

And thus did the career of Doctor Twilight Strange, Equestria's Sorceress Supreme begin.

End of Part One, but not the end of the story...

Web of the Amazing Astounding Spectacular Ultimate Spider-Mare (Part Two)

by neorenamon

After her near run-in with the train, Pinkie's thoughts became much clearer. More normal... for Pinkie anyways. She became more and more aware of just how powerful she had become from the spider bite combined with the strange chemicals from the school lab. She moved from alley to alley looking for something she couldn't lift (when nopony was looking) or couldn't jump over, but she just couldn't do it. But eventually she made it back to the humble home of her Uncle Ben and Aunt May Cake. The sun was just beginning to set.

"Pinkie Parker!" scolded Aunt May, "Where in Equestria have you been?"

"Your friend Miss Stacey stopped by to tell us you had an accident in school," added Uncle Ben, "We were worried sick about you."

"Oh it wasn't anything too serious," she replied, "The nurse kept me around for observations until she was convinced there was nothing wrong. They can be a little over protective down at Canterlot High."

"Well get cleaned up for dinner," said May, "It's just about done."

"Awesome!" said Pinkie as she moved past her adopted parents. She rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and by the time she got to the dining room, three sets of plates and silverware were already set out. Dinner was already there. She hoped it didn't get cold waiting for her to show up.

Ben helped May sit down before he sat down himself, and then Pinkie joined them at the table.

"How's the bakery business going?" she asked as she looked from her Uncle to her Aunt.

"Oh things are just fine," he replied. Unfortunately, it wasn't going all that well and neither her Aunt or Uncle were all that convincing when they were trying to lie to Pinkie.

"Don't worry about us," added May, "Just focus on getting really good grades at school. The business will still be here when you graduate."

'Don't worry,' thought Pinkie, 'I swear I'll find a way to make enough money to keep the family business going before I graduate.'

"So Pinkie," asked her Uncle, "How was your first day at school?"

"Other than that accident," she replied, "It was great."

"Make any friends today?" asked May.

"Oh... no..." she replied, "I was just visiting with my old friends from Junior High." She paused before adding, "You remember Vinyl Stacey, don't you?"

"Such a nice young girl. I'm glad she's still your friend."

"I hope she got over that loud music phase of hers," added Uncle Ben.

"Nope," replied Pinkie, "She wants to be the school DJ and play records for all of the school."

"Well I hope that loud music won't interfere with your studies, Pinkie."

"Oh, I'm sure a little noise won't drag down my grades."

"We're both so proud of how high you grades were in previous schools my dear," said Aunt May.

"Have you heard from Maud and the others lately?"

"Oh," said Ben, "She and your older sisters are still running the rock farm after we moved away with you. We're too old to manage that thing any more, and we wanted to make sure that you got the best education we could afford."

Pinkie knew that Canterlot Schools were paid for by property taxes, but there was no other direct costs to enter Canterlot High as long as you passed the entrance exam. But still, the part of Canterlot they were living in wasn't cheap considering her Aunt and Uncle were living on a fixed income provided by Princess Celestia's Social Security program. The fact they were still getting payments from that system proved that their bakery wasn't making all that much money.

"Really," said Pinkie, "You two should be living out your retirement dreams in the Brahmamas Islands. Not spending your old age looking after me."

"Oh, that kind of cushy living would drive us both stir crazy in a few months," mused Ben, "That's not the kind of life either of us want."

They always did tell Pinkie they were both planning to work until the last days of their lives. She remembered one of his best lines was 'With great jobs comes great responsibility'... or something like that.

Dinner was over before she knew it, and was soon on her way to her bedroom. Early to bed and early to rise... and all that. But she did grab their copy of the Canterlot Bugle on the way by. Uncle Ben mainly got it for the daily crossword puzzle. She figured if she was going to make money, the newspaper was about the best place to start.

But when she got to her room, she set aside the paper and opened the window to let the air in. In that part of Canterlot, the air wasn't overly affected by the wood fires that burned in the hearths of the other houses. She looked out the window and watched the sun as it made it's way down below the horizon. About then however, there was a large explosion in the sky. She looked up in time to see a rainbow ring as it expanded across the Canterlot skies. The tingle through her body told her it was some kind of powerful magic that she had never seen before.

Watching that scene made something tingle inside her. She felt... different. Her first thought was, 'I gotta party!'

Then she went back to the paper and began to read it. Her body began to tremble all over as she got to around the seventh page.

"I have an idea!" she said, "This baking contest will give Uncle Ben and Aunt May enough money to run the bakery for a year! All I need is to rework one of my old Nightmare Night costumes!"

Hmm... A costume for a baking contest? must be Pinkie logic at work.

"What?!" replied Pinkie, "Do you think I want everypony to know I have super powers?!"

Fourth wall crumbles to dust. Wait, how does spider powers let you win a bake-off?

"Hello! Pinkie sense? Super strength? Super agility? Wall-crawling? The secret mane of extradimensional spaces?"

Oh my bad. Moving on then...

"Ooo, maybe I can invent some doohickey for shooting webs... and frosting... and sprinkles..."

Yeah, it's time to close down this little scene...

"Oki doki loki!" she exclaimed, "Good night to you!"

Ugh...

...

But the baking contest was a few days away and Pinkie still had to go to school. She met Vinyl walking to school and they both arrived at the gates just a little behind schedule when they bumped into Octavia waiting there. She was standing there in what appeared to be a brand new cheerleader's uniform showing her to be a member of the Wondercolts cheer-leading squad.

"Well well," she said as she looked them over, "It it isn't Pinkie and Vinyl. How are you?"

"Just great," muttered Vinyl, "Super jock stand you up again?"

"Oh, he's just a little late," she replied.

But as Flash came around the corner of the gate from the inside, her Pinkie Sense went off. She had a feeling something was about to happen in the bushes by the side of the road. So she pretended to trip and drag down Vinyl as she fell. A volley of water balloons sailed over their heads and exploded with satisfying splashes. They looked up in time to see both Flash and Octavia soaked to their hides.

While Pinkie pretended to be shocked (Shocked I tell you!), Vinyl immediately broke out laughing. Then she looked back to see half a dozen stallions from the school hoof-ball team standing around in the bushes.

"My dress!" yelled Octavia.

"You guys better toss hoof-balls better than you throw water balloons!" scowled Flash at them. Then he looked at the two of them on the ground as he added, "You're so lucky, Puny Parker! Next time you won't be so fortunate!" He took Octavia by the foreleg as he lead her onto the High School grounds.

"If I didn't know better," said Vinyl, "I'd say you did that on purpose."

"Who?" she replied, "Me?"

"Yes," she answered, "You."

"Perish the thought."

"Come on," she said as she helped Pinkie up, "We don't want to be late to class!"

Pinkie ran off after Vinyl. They had to run outside because running was clearly not allowed in the halls.

"Hey!" said Pinkie, "I was thinking I could get more business to my Uncle Cake's bakery by throwing private parties there. What do you think about it?"

"Can I be the DJ and spin the tunes?!" she asked back.

"Sure!"

"That would be awesome!" she replied, "I'm working on a stage persona I'm calling DJ Pon-3! What do you think of that?"

"I dunno... I guess that works."

"Maybe I should think of something else then. Whatever name I choose, it has to be totally catchy!"

"Well don't ask me," she replied, "You know I'm no good with cool names."

"It was so funny that Flash Sentry's ambush blew up in his own face," chuckled Vinyl as the approached the front doors.

"But OJ," replied Pinkie, "She didn't deserve that."

"OJ?"

"Octavia-Jane?" she replied.

"You're giving nicknames to somepony you've never even met formally?!" laughed Vinyl, "You're just too much Parker!"

"Oh I have this feeling we're going to become friends," she replied, "I'm going to make a whole lot of good friends this year. I plan to become... the ultimate party pony!"

"Well that's good to hear. Just don't forget an old friend like me."

"Perish the thought."

...

A few days later...

...

"Welcome to the Equestria National Baking Competition where Princess Celestia and a group of elite baking judges shall determine who can bake the best cake in all of the land!" announced the Earth pony stallion on the stage. Off to the side, Princess Celestia, Fleur dis Lee, Broken Leguizamo (noted actor and stand-up comedian), Filly-this Diller (really old noted comedian) and Rich Little (noted pony voice impersonator... what?! Isn't that ponified enough as it is?) all sat behind their table where they would taste test, judge and make various snide comments.

"For tonight's contestants," he announced as he glanced at the list in his hoof, "We have Gustav Le' Grand!"

There was a small round of hoofclaps for the griffon baker as he walked in from the other side of the stage.

"Next we have Mulia Mild!" There was more claps as she walked out.

"Now we have... uh... some pony named Joe!" Less hoofclaps than before as he walked out.

"And finally we have the... uh..." There was a pause. He looked backstage as he asked, "Is this for real?"

"Yes!" came the reply, "Just announce her already!"

"Very well," he said, "The last contestant is... the Spider-Mare."

The silence from the crowd was deafening as the Spider-Mare walked out in her homespun costume. Everyone but the Princess raised an eyebrow as she came in.

"Hey," said Broken Leguizamo, "What's the deal with the mask and the costume? If Filly-this Diller can show her wrinkled old prune-face in public..."

That earned him a killer glare from Filly-this.

"No!" announced the Princess regally, "There's no rule against anonymous contestants. It doesn't matter what her reasons are, she wouldn't have got in past security if she was a criminal or harboring ill intent. She shall compete with the others."

"As the Princess wishes," said Rich as he impersonated the Princess herself.

That got a good giggle from most of the audience.

"Very well," she said as she grinned back at Rich, then she looked ahead again as she said, "As per the rules, each of you shall work from your own kitchen. You cannot have any help. All ingredients shall be provided. You have to make due with what we give you. All of you have one hour to bake this cake. Tonight's secret cake ingredient is... *Zap Apples*."

The contestants blanched. Zap Apples were one of the most difficult apples to make into a cake known because of their powerful and distinctive flavor. That and the fact their shelf life was extremely limited. The apples must have been shipped express right to the contest site. The curtains opened to reveal for sets of kitchens complete with counters, a gas over, a stocked refrigerator, stocked cupboards and a whole mess of utensils.

...

One hour and 15 minutes later...

...

"Well, every cake so far has been really delicious," said the Princess as an attendant wiped the last cake from her chin.

"You know you're just supposed to sample the cakes," said Broken, "Not finish them off."

"What?!" said the Princess, "They're really good and I've been waiting all day to eat these."

"It's good to be the Princess," said Rich.

"Well some of us have to watch our figures," mutter Filly-this.

"When you find the pony that stole your figure," replied Broken, "Make them give it back."

Another killer glare was made at him.

"Now it's time to sample the last cake of the evening," announced the Princess, "The cake baked by the Spider-Mate. Before we start, I have to say that was some of the best showmanship I've ever seen."

"Oh yes," said Broken, "the acrobatic feats, the flipping, the tumbling and the FLAVEN!! I don't know how... or why... you have frosting shooters on your wrists... but it was totally amazing to see!"

'Hmm...' thought Pinkie, 'The Amazing Spider-Mare!'

"It was just astounding!" added Fleur dis Lee.

'Hmm...' thought Pinkie, 'The Astounding Spider-Mare!'

"I'm sure if we were judging gymnastics, you'd get the gold medal for sure," added Rich.

"While we do give extra points for showmanship," agreed the Princess, "It won't make up for a bad cake."

But Pinkie looked out into the air and whispered, "We all know my cake is going to be awesome, right?"

Pinkie! Stahp it!

"What? I can't help what kind of pony I am."

Oh this is going to be so much fun... Anyways, one small slice of Spider-Mare's cake was passed out to each judge on a Chineight plate and a small solid silver fork. Except Celestia, who got a large fork and all the cake that was left. What?! She really really really loves cake! Each judge delicately tasted the cake and the small slice of Zap Apple perched on top... while Celestia tore into the rest like a starving sheep.

"NOM NOM NOM NOM!" muttered Celestia as she pigged out. It's really lucky this isn't the Astonishing Spider-Ham, is it? Oh I am such a baaad commentator, ain't I?

There was a really long pause as Celestia ate and the other wrote down there scores. They waited and waited until she was asked, "Are you ready to present your scores?"

"No need to figure out anything for me!" proclaimed the Princess, "I give this cake a PERFECT 10!"

The others showed their scores, and the final score averaged out to 9.8! It left Spider-Mare as the clear winner by far.

...

After the contest, Spider-Mare went back to collect her winnings, but soon was let down...

...

"Hay!" she exclaimed as she looked in the bag of bits, "This isn't the Prize Money I was promised!"

"Well we had to make deductions for Equestrian taxes," said the Sleazy Promoter, "shipping and handling fees and of course your share of your cost to use the show's cooking equipment."

"What a rip off!" she said as she scowled (under the mask of course).

"Hey, if you don't like it, you can give back..."

"Forget it!" she snapped, "I'll take this even if I don't like it!"

She ran the figures in her head and figured it was just enough to keep the shop open for a meager three months. So she took the bag of bits and stormed out the door. She would simply tell her Aunt and Uncle she made some money doing a side job at school. As she stomped down the hall making the floor crack alarmingly, she heard a commotion behind her.

"Stop that thief!" called Sleazy Promoter, "That stallion just cleaned out the ticket cash box!"

But she just watched the thief run by without lifting a hood to stop him. For some reason, the two looked into each other's eyes and she saw almost relief in his green eyes that the costumed mare was doing nothing to stop him. He vanished down the stairs quickly.

"Hey!" shouted Sleazy Promoter as he caught up to the Spider-Mare, "Why didn't you stop him?!"

"Why should I?!" she sneered, "I'm not your paid security lackey!"

"Hey!" protested Paid Security Lackey as he ran up behind them.

"One day," promised Sleazy, "Karma will get even with you!"

"Oh you're a fine one to talk about Karma," she hissed back. She casually walked to the interior stairs and began her way down to the street in front of the theatre.

Web of the Amazing Astounding Spectacular Ultimate Spider-Mare (Part Three)

by neorenamon

Now that Pinkie had a bag of bits, she was ready to go home and give that money to her Aunt and Uncle. She could hardly wait to repay them for years of kindness. For years of caring. She was so proud that she did something to help them. The sun was almost down by the time she came in sight of their house.

But when she made the fairly short trip from the contest sight to their home, she was shocked to see quite a sight: several police cars and an ambulance parked in front of their humble home. There was a group of uniformed stallions milling around front along with the paramedics and they looked like they were wrapping things up.

She rushed up to the nearest policestallion and asked, "What happened here?!"

He turned slowly and asked, "Who might you be?"

"I'm Pinkie Parker," she replied, "This is where I live with my Aunt and Uncle."

"Oh... I see..." he said slowly, "Well... there's been an incident... with your Uncle."

"What happened?!" she asked in growing alarm.

"You better go to the ambulance then," he said, "They're taking him along with your Aunt to the hospital."

So Pinkie rushed to the ambulance just as they were about to close the back doors.

"Wait!" she called, "Please!"

The doors opened again as she saw the distressed look on her Aunt's face. She climbed in the back with her, her Uncle on a stretcher, and a paramedic. It was a little crowded in the back.

"Your Uncle was attacked when our car was stolen," she said shaking, "That old car wasn't worth his life."

"Calm down May," replied Ben softly, "Old warhorses like me don't go away so easily."

The paramedic closed the doors again and they drove off. Then her Uncle was hooked up to monitoring machines.

"Pinkie," he said, "Come closer."

So Pinkie moved closer to his head.

"Yes?" she asked.

"If I don't make it," he replied, "You'll be the stallion of the house. Promise you'll take care of May."

"Don't talk like that!" she scolded him.

"Promise..."

"I Pinkie Promise!" she exclaimed.

"Good filly," he replied, "Just one more thing..."

She waited for him to continue.

"With great jobs come great responsibility."

"I'm sure you'll have many more years to tell me those little gems of wisdom you like so much," she said as she forced a smile.

He coughed a few time as the paramedic checked the machines. Then he leaned towards the front and said, "Radio ahead and have the ER prepared! This one is going to require emergency surgery!"

"Pinkie," he coughed, "I want you to know... how proud I am of you... I wish I could have been... your true father instead of just... your uncle."

"I dont' care about that!" she replied, "I couldn't love you both more no matter how we're related!" She placed her hooves over one of his and squeezed it.

"And be sure to keep... an eye on the shop's wiring..." he coughed, "Great power... great responsibility..."

Then he closed his eyes.

"Uncle Ben?!" she cried, "UNCLE BEN?! UUUUUNNNCLE BENNNN!!!"

He was pronounced dead at the hospital Emergency Room entrance. While May cried and cried, he heard a couple of cops speaking nearby.

"I heard that the stallion that did this," said one, "He's cornered in an abandoned warehouse."

"Which one?" asked the other.

"You know the one," he answered, "The one where they used to make the old magical tricks and gags."

"Oh, you mean the old Laughco Toy Factory?"

"Yeah, that one."

"Can he get out?"

"The place is surrounded by half the police department," he replied, "But that place... is like a small fortress. We can't move in against him until morning."

Pinkie ran over to Aunt May and handed her the bag as she said, "Here. This money should help take care of things here. I need to get back home and make sure everything's all right there."

"Thank you dearie," she said. She was going to say more, but Pinkie had already run off.

...

"COME OUT WITH YOUR HOOVES UP!!" called the cop over the bullhorn.

"Ya ain't takin me alive, dirty coppers!!" he called back as he fired a few shots at the cops. They scrambled for cover behind their cars.

"Well this looks like it's gonna be a real long night," muttered the Captain from behind his cruiser. He looked at the officer next to him and said, "Send someone out for a few dozen donuts and a whole lot of..." He paused because the officer was looking up. "What is it?"

"It's weird," he replied, "I thought I saw some pony swing over to the factory roof on a rope."

"It's dark," he answered, "You must have been seeing things."

"I guess so," he said, "Maybe I'm putting in too many hours."

...

Pinkie landed on the factory roof over the crowd of police. She walked to the skylight as she said aloud for no particular reason, "You might be out of reach of the police, but you can't get away from the Spider-Mare!" She opened the pane of glass and dropped down about 20 feet to the floor effortlessly. While she couldn't see very well, her other senses were quite acute.

A few more gunshots told her the thief was a couple of floors beneath her and he must be still near one of the walls. So she ran for the nearest stairwell and headed down it. When she saw him crouched beside the window, her Pinkie Sense was barely tingling. She judged by his movements her was struggling to reload his cap and ball revolver.

Without a sound, she leaped on top of him. She ripped the gun from his hoof so hard, she probably broke his hoof at the fetlock.

"Who the hay are you?!" he asked in alarm.

"I'M YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE!" she replied, "I'M THE SPIDER-MARE!"

She ripped off his mask and then gasp. It was those exact same green eyes.

"Wait," she cried, "Did you rob the Equestria National Baking Competition?!"

"Yeah," he replied, "What about it?!"

'OH NO!!' she thought, 'I could have stopped him when I had the chance!'

"Why did you kill a stallion just to steal his car?!" she screamed in his face.

"The getaway driver," he replied, "He bailed on me! Worthless coward! I couldn't outrun the cops so I stole a car!" He paused as he added, "I didn't wanna hurt nobody! All he hadda do was gimme the keys and I would'a let him go! But he just jumped me! I shot him when I panicked! I swear!"

Pinkie was boiling with rage. 'It would be so easy to kill him,' she thought, 'Eye for an eye.'

But she looked into his terrified eyes. He must have been thinking she was going to kill him. Could she let herself became as evil as him?

'NO!' she thought, 'I have to be better than the thug that killed my Uncle!'

She used her web-shooters to cover him from his mouth down to his back hooves. Then she spun a web line to the makeshift cocoon. It was long enough that the scared crook would stop a few feet from the pavement. Then she called out the window in her somewhat altered voice, "Special delivery from your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Mare! Please don't shoot!"

There was a call from below: "Everypony hold your fire!!"

So she tossed the criminal out the broken window without any further fanfare. While she did the right thing, she still felt empty on the inside and riddled with guilt.

'With great powers comes greater responsibilities!' she thought as she went back to the roof.

...

Pinkie returned to the hospital to find Aunt May in the waiting room.

"The house is fine," she said as she came up, "How are you holding up?"

"He's gone," said Aunt May quietly, "I'm going to miss him so much."

"I'm so sorry," she sniffed.

"What are you sorry for?" she asked as she looked into Pinkie's eyes.

"I should have been home!" she cried, "I should have protected Uncle Ben! It's all MY FAULT!!"

Everypony in the room stopped to look at them.

"Don't be foolish!" scolded Aunt May, "You couldn't have done anything to save Ben! It would only have wound up with both of you dead instead of just one!"

Pinkie hugged May and was soon crying her eyes out. So was Aunt May. Most ponies pretended that nothing was going on as they went about their business.

'I swear I'll never let another criminal escape justice!' she thought as she bawled, 'I'll never make that mistake again!'

"I swear I'll take care of you for the rest of your life!" she cried.

"I'm just so glad I didn't lose you too!" wept Aunt May.

After 15 minutes or so, Pinkie separated from May and went over to the counter.

"Can I take care of the bill now?" she asked.

The nurse looked at her sympathetically and replied, "The director of the hospital assures me that the Hospital is going to eat the costs on this one. I don't think you're going to billed for this." She paused before she added, "I'm so sorry for your loss. Just make sure he gets a good funeral. He seems like the kind of stallion that deserves that much."

"Thank you," she sniffled, "I will."

...

So Pinkie Parker took over the primary responsibilities of the Sugarcube Corner even though ownership of the shop was kept in her Aunt May Cake's name. Between school, planning parties, making new friends, running the shop and trying to make extra money on the side, she was really busy.

"But things will surely look up from here," replied Pinkie.

Did we talk about this?

"Not really,"

Oh, I just hope I never have to write any more stories with such blatant fourth wall breakers in them.

"I don't think you're going to be so luuucky!" she replied.

Just great. Well the career of the Spider-Pony has begun.

A Rainbow Bridge Too Far (Part One)

by neorenamon

"For your arrogance and pride," announced the All-Father Odin, "I hereby banish Rainbow Thor Odindota to the realm of Equestria until such time as I believe you have learned how to be more humble and obedient!"

"But father," she pleaded.

"Be quiet!" he commanded, "and you should be grateful that your punishment is not more harsh!"

She could see Loki standing just behind him with a sneer on his face. All Rainbow wanted to do was tell her father how she went to attack the Fire Giants based on the serpent's tongue of her half-brother. How Loki convinced her that the Fire Giants were using ancient magics to hide themselves from Odin's sight and only she could smite them with the power of her enchanted hammer Mjolnir.

But of course, the All-Father would not take such accusations well, and she was surely in enough trouble as it was. She went off on this attack against Odin's will only to discover later that Loki himself betrayed her to the All-Father. But he was right about one thing: She still had her powers, her hammer and her godhood. He could have taken any of those things away from her as well.

But there was still one thing...

She unfolded her wings as if they were alien growths and asked, "But please tell me why I have this blue body with wings All-Father?!"

"To fit in better among the mortal ponies of Equestria," he said evenly, "In the Equestria Realm, the pegasus ponies manage the weather, so it would not appear so strange when you use your god-powers on the weather there as well."

"With all due respect, All-Father," said Loki, "I still truly think the punishment will only suit the crime if..."

"Be still!" he replied without looking back, "Odin determines what punishments suit what crimes and no other! You would do well to remember your place!"

"Of course," he said quickly, "Surely I would never question the All-Father's judgement in the matter of his own daughter."

"Remember my daughter," he added, "The Eyes of Odin are everywhere."

"Yes Father," she replied as she knelt before the open rainbow bridge.

"And as part of your punishment," he continued, "You shall obey the Princess Celestia as you would obey me."

Rainbow swallowed hard as she had never bowed to a mortal before, even one as powerful as Celestia.

"I shall do all I can to prove I can be humble and honorable, Lord Odin," she said as she continued to look down, "I swear this."

Without even looking, she could still see the sneer on Loki's face.

"But should I get a message from Celestia telling me of further misdeeds, the next punishment shall be much much worse!"

"I understand," she replied as she felt the rainbow bridge returning to the heavens. Her magic hammer fell from the sky to land at her feet with a great crash, so she picked it up and placed it about her neck in its rightful place. "I suppose I should become practiced with using these mortal wings," she said as she awkwardly flew off towards Canterlot.

'How can creatures fly like this?!' she asked herself, 'I can surely fly so much faster by the power of Mjolnir. Heck, I could even do better with my Asgardian hooves running on the winds.'

So she took her hammer in hoof, spun it about with her goddess strength and then threw it ahead without letting go so that it would tow the pegasus behind it at great speed. This generated a large explosion. She behind herself in time to see a rainbow ring as it expanded across the Equestrian skies. It seemed that magic worked a little different in the Equestrian Realm than it did in Asgard.

It seemed but a mere moment before she streaked over the Palace of Canterlot leaving a rainbow trail in her wake. She looked down to see Princess Celestia standing on a balcony looking up towards her. So Rainbow circled back to land before her.

"Welcome to Equestria," she said evenly, "I hope all of your entrances won't be so... flashy."

"I apologize," she said as she knelt down, "I didn't realize that I could fly so fast... with such side effects... in this new form."

"Try not to let it happen again," said the Princess as she turned, "Now follow me. It's time you started earning your keep here."

Rainbow sighed and followed. It would not be easy to be so deferential to a mortal no matter how powerful they might be.

"Since the Royal Guards handle most of the mundane problems," she said without looking back, "I expect you to take care of the larger problems of my kingdom."

"Such as?"

"Oh, there are the occasional attacks by dragons, hydras, manticores and similar monsters that need to be handled... hopefully with minimal damage to Canterlot's infrastructure."

"Ah, if I can do anything well, Thor can battle mightily!"

"Should any other Asgardians come here, then responsibility for them shall fall to you unless I specifically say otherwise."

"I... can handle that... surely."

"But the most important thing to remember is that you shall attack nopony without my permission."

"Even should I need to protect another?"

"That shall be judged on a case by case basis," she replied, "but I shall not be cutting you much slack in that regards."

"I shall... tread carefully then."

"And when you are not handling monsters, I expect you to tend me in the Canterlot Court as I tend to my daily duties."

"Of course," she said as she thought, 'I wonder what those worse punishments All-Father was talking about. This punishment surely seems bad enough to me...'

"PRINCESS!" called a Royal Guard as he rushed towards the Princess, "PRINCESS!"

"What troubles you?" she asked back calmly.

"Giant ponies made of ice approach the gates of Canterlot!" he replied, "They're several times our size!"

"Can this be?!" asked Rainbow, "Show them to me at once!" Then she glanced at Celestia before she added, "If it meets with the approval of the Princess as well..."

"We shall both go to see these monsters," she said as the Guard turned to lead them back to the walls.

As soon as Rainbow saw them, she knew what they were. "By what madness are the Frost Giant-Horses of Jötunheimr in this realm?!"

"You know them?"

"They have been mortal enemies of Asgard and it's gods for countless hundreds of years," she replied, "but they lack the magic to travel between the realms like this!" She paused to add, "Well the King of the Frost Giant-Horses may posses such power, but... surely he would be mad to use such power and risk war with Asgard!"

"Are they friendly giants?"

"No. These monsters. They're lust for war and destruction make the warriors of Asgard look tame by comparison. May I smite them before they ruin your great city?"

"Not before I try to reason with them," she replied.

Rainbow sighed as she surely knew such proceedings would not end well. She flew after the Princess as she flew to meet the Frost Giant-Horses outside the gates of Canterlot. The Guards seemed distressed that they were going out to meet them alone. The very air seemed to become colder as they drew closer, and the monsters stopped in their tracks to watch the newcomers flying closer.

"Greeting and welcome to Canterlot," announced the Princess, "What brings you so far from your own realm?"

"So the one called Rainbow Thor Odindota is here?!" asked the largest Frost Giant-Horse, "We finally meet the one who has slain so many of our kin."

"If King Laufey had not sent his army to invade the Realm of Asgard," she replied defensively, "I surely wouldn't have had to slay so many of your kin!"

"The warriors of Asgard struck against the Realm of Jötunheimr first Giant-slayer!"

"THAT IS THE MOST FOUL OF LIES!" she yelled back, "Lord Odin surely does not attack any other realm without just cause!" She took the hammer from about her neck into her hoof.

The giants responded by becoming even colder. They grew larger as icicle spikes grew out of their bodies.

"Stop this!" commanded the Princess, "There shall be no violence!"

"Are you giving sanctuary to the Giant-killer?!"

"NO!" she replied, "Lord Odin sent Rainbow Dash Odindota to me so that she may be punished!"

There was a momentary pause before the Giants began laughing their heads off. Rainbow just scowled mightily.

"Very well," he said, "We shall withdraw to the Crystal Mountains to keep tabs on Rainbow! But I promise that if you try to deceive us, we shall descend upon upon you like the wrath of a blizzard!"

"We should deal with them now!" replied Dash, "They shall surely return to..."

"You shall do nothing without my commands!" shouted Celestia with uncharacteristic force.

The Frost Giant-Horses turned and began withdrawing to the north. Rainbow knew that the region was far too warm for the likes of them to remain there very long. She was grateful for at least that much.

"That wasn't so hard, now was it?" asked the Princess as she began flying back.

"It was," muttered Rainbow under her breath.

...

Meanwhile, back in Asgard...

...

Loki watched the scene from his own personal scrying pool. He scowled as the Frost Giant-Horses walked away without bloodshed.

"Curse those fool giants," he said, "I thought sending them against Thor would be enough to make them battle to the bitter end! It would have worked if that Celestia wasn't so reasonable! I shall have to take her out of the picture before I try to humiliate my half-sister once more!"

A Rainbow Bridge Too Far (Part Two)

by neorenamon

The first week attending the Court of Princess Celestia was about the most boring duty that Rainbow Thor Odindota could have possibly imagined. She was dismayed at the plethora of minor problems, gripes and issues that Princess Celestia had to deal with on a daily basis. It was much more the Lord Odin the All-Father ever had to put up with. It was surely a humbling experience... that she never wished to suffer from again.

And worst of all, there was no monsters, no gods or any other major threat that she could deal with just to alleviate her boredom. She even felt the return of the Frost Giant-Horses would have be more agreeable than this.

The arrangements in Canterlot Castle were unbearably soft and shiny as well. Everywhere was silk curtains and tapestries. Even the floors were covered with rugs and carpets. While Rainbow had no issues with giving Princess Celestia her proper due, not even the All-Father had a statue dedicated to him in every hall and room. Her bedroom had no weapons, shields or any other warrior's tool mounted upon the walls. She never felt so much out of place.

While the food was plentiful, it was remarkably bland. She would have liked nothing more than properly aged goat cheese on whole grain rye bread. Even the ale tasted watered down compared to Asgardian brews. It was even worse when compared to the beer guzzled by Dwarves. She had sampled food from all the realms of Yggdrasil and only found the only the food of the Dark Changelings to be vile enough never to sample again.

Then there was the clothing that Celestia commanded she wear in court. It was no clothing (or armor) fit for a warrior of her standing. She was not even allowed to wear the metal armor of the Canterlot Guards. As the Odindota, she had never been asked and certainly never forced to dress like a petite mare of... questionable valor. But since Celestia commanded such, she had to obey as she would have obeyed the word of the All-Father. She was sure Loki was spying on her and laughing his head off at the spectacle.

But the worst for her was yet to come. The day when Celestia was closing the Court for the day when she leaned over and sniffed at Rainbow's neck.

"When was the last time you bathed?" she asked.

"When I was lasted rained upon about two moons ago," she replied.

"Well in my castle, you shall bath at least once a week," said the Princess as she wrinkled her nose.

"What madness is this?!"

"It is not madness," she replied, "It is decency."

"Then you are ordering me to do this?!" she asked as she looked away.

"Indeed," she replied, "and one of the Royal Maid shall assist you in this matter to make sure it is done properly."

Rainbow just growled softly as she ground her teeth together.

"If you are willing to approach this with an open mind," she continued, "I'm sure you'll find the Canterlot Royal Bathhouse to be... quite a pleasant stay."

She just replied with a short snort through her nose.

"As soon as Court is adjourned for the day," she added, "We shall retire to the Bathhouse. Dinner can wait until you are properly clean."

Once the Guards had sealed the Royal Hall, Rainbow followed Celestia to the somewhat more private part of Canterlot Castle. While it was considered a public bath, the "public" that came there was limited to the nobility of Canterlot itself. The Princess led her into the mare's dressing room which led into the mare's bathing rooms.

While disrobing, Celestia indicated what sort of bath she wished for the two of them. Even though they were to be in separate baths, she ordered a hot bath with rose oil and rose petals to be liberally added to the water. The thought of it all made Rainbow feel slightly queasy. She also noticed that all of the maids attending them were pegasi, as it seemed they were the most knowledgeable about the proper cleaning of feathered wings.

Then one of the maids each lead Rainbow and the Princess into their own bathing room. Even with the zinc bathtub in the center, the room was still about a good 15 feet across.

"A quick rinse before you enter the tub, mare-lady," she said as she brought over a pail of water.

"I need to be clean to use the tub?!" she asked in dismay.

"Not clean," she replied, "I'm just taking off the coarse filth that would only foul the waters."

"Your customs are surely strange to me," she answered as water was poured over her body from nose to tail. At least the water was cold enough to catch her attention, and that made her feel better.

Then she slipped into the tub. The water was almost buried under rose petals and was far too warm for her tastes.

"Would you enjoy a drink while you bath?" she asked.

"That would serve me well," replied Rainbow.

So she set a small table by the tub with a tall tankard of ale on it. Rainbow took a hold of it and began sipping as the maid began cleaning her wings. Yet something in the ale tasted off, so she only pretending to drink any of it before she set it back down.

"What manner of drink is this?" she asked.

"Oh, we felt that a good honey ale would surely sate you once the Princess mentioned you were from Asgard."

"Oh really?" she replied, "How do you know about Asgard?"

"The Princess," she said awkwardly, "She has been telling the staff about everything you've talked to her about."

Rainbow pretended another sip to taste it again. She knew she had tasted something like it before. Something she hated seemed to lay just beneath the golden fluid's surface. It was more suspicious when the maid stopped washing her wings while they were lathered up. By her warrior's instincts, she suddenly turned about and bit down on the small blade that was surely meant to stab her in the back beneath her left shoulder blade. She ripped the blade from the maid's mouth and spat it out into the wall.

"TELL ME WHY YOU'RE HERE, DARK CHANGELING!" she commanded.

"How did you know?!" she asked in dismay.

"Because I tasted Dark Changeling Ale mixed in with this," she replied, "A drink most vile and used to cover up the fact that the beverage itself is poison!" She growled as she placed her hoof on the edge of the tub, "The last time I was thus poisoned, I was most ill for more than a full moon!"

Suddenly, the Dark Changeling changed back to her true form. "It's a pity you drank any then," she hissed, "I know it wouldn't slay you, but it shall surely prevent you from saving the Princess! Even now she is being kidnapped by my dark sisters!"

So she held out her hoof and called, "Come to me, Mjolnir!" And so did her hammer come to her.

"Blast!" she cursed, "We were sure that locker we secured it in would stop it from coming to you!"

"Then you thought wrong!" She then hurled the mystic mallet at the Dark Changeling knowing a creature from the realm of Svartalfheim was not so easily slain even with a blow from such a mighty hammer. The force of the blow knocked her back into the solid stone wall, cracking it greatly before she slumped into a heap.

She rushed out to hear in the other room, "What?! Has our sister failed to stop the Odindota?! Quickly, we must open the portal to Svartalfheim and get the Princess through before she can stop us!" Don't you just love it when the villains explain things?

Rainbow burst into the room as the unconscious Celesta was being pulled from the tub. They had all changed back to their true forms as they never felt truly comfortable while they appeared as some other race of pony. One of them was beginning a chant in the Dark Tongue. A sure sign she was attempting to cast dark magic.

"Not fast enough, villains!" she called as she slammed the hammer into the floor. The impact created a massive clap of thunder which knocked the Dark Changelings off their feet. The blast was also powerful enough to disrupt the chanting. She also noticed the way the water was sloshing from the tub all over the floor.

So she placed the hammer in her mouth, grabbed the Princess with her forelegs, and once lifted into the air, used a lightning bolt from her hammer to charge the floor and shock the Dark Changelings before they could recover from the thunderclap. The massive charge running through the water was powerful enough to incapacitate them all before the Guards rushed in to check on all the commotion.

"Quickly!" called Rainbow, "Detail all of the Dark Changelings in both rooms! Be sure to shackle them in wrought iron should they use their dark powers to escape from your prison!"

The Guards nodded as they jumped on the unconscious prisoners. But even though she had not actually drank any of the poison, she realized it was still enough to affect her superior Asgardian body. She landed with the Princess just as she collapsed to the floor. Soon the darkness of sleep overtook her...

...

Slowly she awoke to a strange feeling. There was a large pony behind her with her forelegs wrapped about her barrel. It left her wings pinned down against the barrel of the pony behind her.

"Well that was surely an amusing day," whispered the Princess into her ear, "and it seems I owe you my life for your heroism."

"Mare-lady?!" asked Rainbow.

"Well since we were both mildly poisoned," she sighed, "I felt it was my royal duty to make sure that you fully recover. The magic of Equestrian medicine is quite adept at dealing with various types of poisons. Now you should rest. It's still the middle of the night."

"What of the Dark Changelings?!" she asked.

"They are imprisoned with cold iron," replied the Princess, "My best officers shall interrogate them quite well come the dawn."

"I wish to be there for the questioning," she said.

"Very well. It's the least I can do."

"I... uh... can surely sleep in my own bed, mare-lady," said Rainbow on the verge of stammering.

"But how can I show such a powerful warrior as yourself just how grateful I am for your heroics?"

"It's surely not needed..."

"Then think of this... as an order."

"Very well," she sighed.

"I must admit I've never felt muscles as lean and hard as yours ever before."

Rainbow blushed as one of the Princess' hooves rubbed down her washboard abs.

"This... is most awkward," said Rainbow, "I have slept alone all of my life."

"That's not what Frigga said," said the Princess as she whispered in Rainbow's ear. Her breath made the ear twitch.

"I was but a foal then!" protested Rainbow, "That... was different!"

"Then just pretend I am Frigga for one night," she sighed, "and all shall be well."

"As you command," she sighed.

Then the Princess licked the back of her ear.

"The All-Mother surely never did that!"

"That's not what she said," she whispered.

"I was but a foal then!" protested Rainbow again, "That... was different!"

"I must say you are the most fascinating pony I've ever met," she sighed, "but I promise you I won't do anything more than spoon you while you sleep. You have my word. Now rest, mighty warrior."

Rainbow sighed in defeat, but soon she was sleeping softly cradled in the forelegs of Celestia.

A Rainbow Bridge Too Far (Part Three)

by neorenamon

Loki paced about his room as he glanced into his scrying pool on occasion. It urked him to no end that his half-sister was getting so close to Princess Celestia who was supposed to be punishing her. Yet the way the Princess was spooning Rainbow in bed was surely a sign of her growing affections.

"First the Frost Giant-Horses fail me," he cussed aloud (as Loki was want to do when he was alone), "And now the Dark Changelings fail me as well?!" He paused before he muttered, "It's so hard to find competent evil lackies these days." Then he scowled before he announced, "It is most fortunate I can get around the realms without using the Rainbow Bridge. It seems it's time for me to do personally what my lackies have failed to do on their own."

He returned to scry around the palace to see where he may open a portal without being noticed by any of the residents within. Finally, he came across a broom closet that was both large enough to take him and quite unused at the time. Loki began casting the portal spell causing a blue tear to open in time/space from his location directly to the closet.

"I must act quickly in case Odin tries to summon me," he mused, "but first a disguise spell in case that doddering old foal should be using his own scrying pool as well."

A quick enchantment changed Loki into a rather hot looking maid mare before stepping through the portal. He chose a unicorn form as their use of magic basically went unchallenged by the Earth ponies and pegasi.

"Now to do what I do best," mused maid-Loki, "Plot the demise of my half-witted half-sister..."

...

"Wake up sleepy head," said a voice in Rainbow's ear, "It's almost time to raise the sun and I want you by my side."

Rainbow almost panicked when she awoke with Celestia's forelegs about her barrel, but then she calmed herself quickly. It was not good when she acted rashly, and certainly badly when she was in a state of rage or panic. So she took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and said, "Good morning to you, Princess Celestia."

"I know you must be hungry," she whispered as her hood rubbed Rainbow's belly, "since we both missed dinner last night, but I promise I shall have you fed well as soon as I lower the moon and raise the sun for the day."

Rainbow slipped from her grip as she got out of bed. She looked about for her armor and her hammer. Celestia got out of the other side of the bed and tugged on a cord hanging nearby. About a half a dozen maid-mares rushed in to attend her within a matter of seconds.

"Dress me for the sun raising ceremony," she said as she waited at the bedside, "And dress Rainbow in her special attire as well."

"Special attire?" asked Rainbow suspiciously.

"Yes," she replied evenly, "It is less than a week away from the Summer Sun Celebration, so the ponies are expecting us to dress in line with the coming longest day of the year."

Rainbow sighed a long and heavy sigh.

"I promise it won't be so bad," she said once she heard Rainbow's protest.

"I can wear armor this time?" asked Rainbow with growing anticipation.

"No," she replied, "But it's more in line with your appearances."

While Celestia was placed into a bright white dress with golden trim, a wide corset and several layers of skits, the outermost showing her sun cutie mark quite largely and rather visibly, Rainbow was placed into a similar flame red dress. She was distraught that she could hardly breath deeply let alone fight in those several layers of skirts. And she truly could see no practical function for all the small rubies scattered all about it.

"The sooner I can get out of this and back into reasonable armor," she replied, "The better I shall like this."

"Well you certainly are a beauty," sighed Celestia as the finishing touches were added to Rainbow outfit.

"I am no beauty," she huffed, "I am a warrior of Asgard and the All-Father."

"Then let us go," replied the Princess, "Ponies of the world are eager to see the new day rising."

"You seem to have a great number of responsibilities," commented Rainbow.

"How so?" she asked.

"Well in Asgard, there are numerous more gods and goddesses to handle the daily matters of various realms. For example, we have Sunna to manage the sun and Mani to manage the moon. You seem to do that all by yourself."

"At one time, I had a sister to aid me..." she replied, "but there's no need to go over it all now. We shall speak of that... another time." With that, she began walking towards the door which the mare-maids were holding open for her.

"As you wish," she answered as she followed Celestia from the room. But while Celestia looked away, she used her mind to call Mjolnir to her so that she might hide it under a few layers of skirts. It seemed that every hallway was lined with Guards, maids, butlers and the like all there simply to pay their respects to the Princess as she made her way to raise the sun.

Rainbow wondered against for the eighth or ninth time why the ponies would make such a fuss over the simple dawn. It wasn't like there was such a fuss over Sunna or Mani performing their daily tasks. She once again came out to the the two platforms: The larger golden one bearing the crest of the sun and the smaller blacker one bearing the crest of the moon.

On each side was a line of Guards and beyond them, a vast crowd of Canterlot ponies. The nobles clustered around the platforms while those of lower standing had to stand closer to the palace doors. Even the walls themselves had a line of Guards upon it spaced evenly around.

Celestia climbed up onto the smaller platform. Her horn glowed as she floated into the air as the moon came down to vanish beneath the horizon and take the night sky with it. But as the night faded, a strange feeling came over Rainbow. She turned to look about for the source of the feelings and saw that Fire Giant-Bulls were now on the castle walls surrounding them all. But right ahead of her was the worst of them all: Their king known as Surtur. A true monster who knew only of death and destruction from his realm in Muspelheim.

"Foals!!" called Surtur, "This shall be your last day!! I shall purge this world with my flames of hatred until it is all ash!!"

But Rainbow flapped her wings once and shot into the sky as she replied, "Not on this day nor any other, monster!"

"Try to smite me, knave!" he retorted, "See how puny you are to me!"

She spun her hammer and hurled it right at Surtur's head, but it passed through his flaming aura without harming him in the least. But nothing kept her mallet from flying back to her hoof.

"So you have bewitched yourself against the wrath of Mjolnir?!" she asked, "No matter, I shall still stop you no matter what the cost!"

Had Rainbow been in her right mind, she would have noticed that no pony was looking at the walls, but all eyes were fixed on her. They appeared to be scared of the Norse storm pony goddess. A powerful storm was quickly gathering overhead and surely would have blotted out the sun if Celestia had managed to raise it first.

Somepony was screaming something at her, but she couldn't understand the words. But there was no need for words. Only a monster that had to be stopped. A massive lightning bolt struck down on Surtur, but much to her surprise, a magic shield appeared over his head to deflect the bolt back up into the clouds.

"So you have protected yourself from my lightning as well?!" she cried, "I shall still find a way to smite you!!"

She began spinning the hammer over her head faster and faster as the clouds began spawning a super tornado. But the next thing she knew, Loki was behind her grabbing her about her barrel with both forelegs.

"LOKI?!" she called as her half-brother growled in her ear, "You DARE show yourself now?!"

Much to her surprise, Loki licked her ear... just as the Princess had done the night before. Or was it still the same night? Her head ached more when suddenly Loki's voice changed.

"STOP IT!!" said the voice of the Princess, "Whatever monsters you think are here, they are not!!"

"Now you seek to bedevil me with the voice of the Princess?!"

"You have to believe me!" pleaded the voice, "I'm Princess Celestia! Not the one called Loki!"

The tornado came closer and closer to the wall of the castle, yet none of the Fire Giant-Bulls seemed to notice or care about it.

Rainbow began casting her eyes about the courtyard as she said, "If this be the work of my half-brother Loki, than he would surely be someplace close by. He can appear as anypony."

"I beg you to stop the storm before my subjects are harmed!"

So the storm and the tornado began to dissipate quickly. But as she did so, she flung her hammer at one of the maids. The mallet struck in the center of her chest driving her into the ground as she was pushed several yards back. She felt that if it was Loki's spell, he would have to be totally focused on the spell and not defending himself.

In deed, the Fire Giant-Bulls vanished to be replaced by panicked Guards. And the fair maid turned into Loki. The hammer flew back to her hoof as she looked down on her stunned half-brother. Every pony was now staring at the pony trickster god that seemed to appear in their midst from nowhere. She reared her hoof back to throw the hammer again when a massive voice boomed from everywhere, "STAY THEY HAMMER, RAINBOW THOR ODINDOTA!"

"ALL-FATHER?!" she asked as she looked about.

"It seems that Loki has been tricking us all," said Odin.

"That's not true!" complained Loki.

"I have proof that you tricked Rainbow into attacking the Frost Giant-Horses," he replied, "How you tried to get me to strip away her godhood and her magical hammer! Now you send Frost Giant Horses and Dark Changelings to do your dirty work! Then you have the nerve to sneak her in person and try to disgrace the Odindota!"

"Because my half-sister is a weakling and foal!"

"We shall set your punishment in Asgard!" he called as Loki vanished in a burst of light.

There was a deafening quite for a moment.

"As for you, Odindota, I grant you permission to return to the halls of Asgard with full honors."

"All-Father?" she asked.

"Yes?"

"I beg your leave to stay here and study the ways of mortals," she replied, "You are right that I still need to learn more of humility."

"Very well," he replied, "Stay as long as you please. You can come home at any time."

"I swear that should Asgard need me, I shall come at your call All-Father!"

"I am very proud of you this day Odindota." There was a pause before he added, "I shall grant you the power to summon the rainbow bridge to you at any time."

"Thank you," she replied as she floated down to the ground with Celestia.

With that, the voice and its presence seemed to vanish without a trace.

Celestia turned Rainbow about as she said, "I'm glad that you chose to remain with us."

"Tis my pleasure," she replied, "The ponies of your land are surely as valiant as any warrior in Asgard. I wish to truly learn more of their ways. I wish to remain here to protect the land, Canterlot... and you."

"Then I shall officially end your punishment now," she sighed, "and you shall take your place among my most honored of Royal Guards. You may wear your armor, bear the hammer and act without having to wait for my orders."

"Must I still bathe once a week?" she asked hopefully.

"Yes," she replied, "and you shall bathe with me until you get it right." Much to the amusement of the crowd, Celestia suddenly kissed Rainbow on the lips.

...

Meanwhile, a dark figure watches the proceedings from their own palace in the Dream Realm.

"It's almost too easy," she hissed, "A simple matter to use the Princess' dreams to mold her opinion of Rainbow Dash Odindota. Soon I shall use all of them as my unwitting pawns! Soon I shall invade Equestria with my Nightmare Forces!!" <-- Insert Evil Laugh here.

A Fantastic Voyage (Part One)

by neorenamon

Time Turner Richards sighed. He had to let go of most of his tech support because he was running out of money. It was only a matter of time before he had to shut down everything. He had to get into space and prove the feasibility of space travel before that happened. He looked about to see which of his most loyal friends were left because they weren't in it for the bits. The whole thing continued because of his ability to be flexible when approaching any problem.

There was Fluttershy Storm. An able minded assistant who truly believed in his goals. She was a shy and awkward wallflower, and one might completely miss her as if she were invisible most of the time. It wasn't like she wasn't trying to overcome her social awkwardness or her tendencies to raise barriers around herself to protect her heart from harm.

Then there was Lightning Dust Storm. Sister to Fluttershy and truly her opposite in many ways. She was brash, forward, hot headed, hot blooded and pretty darn reckless. It was all but impossible not to notice when Lightning was in the room because she wouldn't allow you the luxury of ignoring her. She had a deep seated need to be the center of attention.

Last but not least, there was his rock steady friend Big Mac'Grimm. He had no problem getting his hooves dirty when something had to be done. With his size and strength, he was invaluable. But Time Turner could see that there was more to him than just a wall of muscles. He also had a lot of common sense. With he patience, he could often see the long term issues beyond the short term problems.

"Well," he said at last, "We're about as ready to blast off as we're going to be."

"Shouldn't we have... somepony... on the ground to... you know... monitor things?" asked Fluttershy.

"There's nothing that can be done from down here even if something did go wrong," he replied, "but because I couldn't automate the ship as much as I would have liked, it will take all four of us to operate the stations on the ship."

"You just worry way too much, Flutters," said Lightning in her teasing sort of tone.

"Maybe you should worry more," interrupted Big Mac'Grimm.

"What? So I can wind up as ugly as you?"

"Oh hardy har har," he replied, "That was so funny I forgot to laugh."

"You forget a lot of things, don't you?"

"Now now," interjected Time, "I need you both in top shape for the upcoming flight. Save your brawl for when we come back."

"Thanks for giving me something to look forward to," said Big as he cracked his fetlock joints when he pressed his hooves together.

"Like somepony as slow as you could catch me," giggled Lightning.

"Now as soon as I make sure all the sensors are ready to record this flight," he said, "we can all get suited up and get ourselves situated in the experimental rocket-plane."

"Tell me again why we even need to go to the moon, Big Brain?" asked Big.

"I theorize that the moon holds ancient secrets about how the world formed," he replied, "plus there may well be valuable resources locked in the moon rock that we could well use back here in Equestria. The mere fact we've advanced Science so far while building this rocket-plane makes the trip worth the cost."

"Uh-huh," he replied, "and why the rush?"

"I'm a good century ahead of the rest of the world," he replied, "If I don't do this while I can do it now, it may well never happen for the next two generations. I can't let a lack of funding stop this from happening."

"You're so dedicated," sighed Fluttershy.

"More like obsessive," commented Lightning.

"Well... that's... uh... not a nice... thing to say."

"Come on," said Big as she started walking to the prep room, "Let's leave the Big Brain to his work."

...

Some time later...

...

"Okay," said Time, "We've done the entire launch check list and everything is green lights. So I want to quickly go over what all of you are doing on this flight.

"Lightning: You're the pilot because you have the best reflexes among us. You have to keep us on the flight path at all times. Even a deviation of about 1 percent can spell the difference between a good flight and a bad crash."

"No pressure," replied Lightning.

"You live for pressure," interrupted Big.

"Ah guilty as charged."

"Fluttershy: Your job is to monitor all the external sensors. When we reenter the atmosphere, it will be critical to monitor temperature, speed and angle to assure the best possible reentry."

"Okay," she replied.

"Big: Your job is to monitor the internal systems. I'm counting on you to manage the fuel supply and keep an eye on the oxygenation systems. We won't make it if either of those fail or run out before they're supposed to."

"I won't let you down."

"Did you make the buttons extra large for his giant hooves?" asked Lightning as she poked Big with her foreleg knee.

"Keep up up funny-filly!"

"So what are you going to do?" she asked as she looked at Time.

"I am the flight commander," he replied, "I supervise, coordinate and if any of you are incapacitated, I have to step in and take over your stations. Sincerely, I hope that that won't be needed on this flight."

"Supervise?" she asked, "In other words, you don't have to do anything useful."

Time just sighed as he started operating the controls before him. "I'm setting the launch time to ten minutes. The countdown starts on my mark...  Mark!"

"Can't we just cut to the chase?!" asked Lightning, "I hate having to stay still for so long!"

"I'm sure there's a good reason to wait," replied Fluttershy.

"Yes," he replied, "We can't launch until we're in the flight window. The ideal flight path is a narrow one and getting it exactly right gives us the best possible chance of getting back to the ground safely." He glanced over and noticed Lightning was doodling on her clipboard. "What are you doing with your checklist?"

"I'm bored," she replied, "So I'm making a sketch for my Daring Do fan novel."

He sighed.

"Well at least she has a goal," said Fluttershy.

"If I thought she was serious about it."

"Who says I'm not serious?!" asked Lightning.

"You have the attention span of a pithed hamster."

"At least I don't have to see your ugly mug in the mirror in the morning."

Time sighed heavily and loudly. Minutes ticked by as everyone but Lightning continued to monitor their stations.

"Wake up Lightning. We're ready to blast off."

"Fine," she muttered as she put her clipboard down, "Let's do this thing!"

Time began the 20 second countdown. Time pressed the button to release all of their connections to the launch tower. As the count came down to five, the engines ignited. The ship began so shake at the countdown got down to one. Glancing out the windows, the could tell they were lifting into the sky. The roar from the engines was all but deafening even inside the reasonably well shielded pilot's compartment.

The moved slowly at first, but gained speed more quickly with every second since the launch began. A minute later and they were passing though the lower cloud layer. They were well on their way to orbit. Their flight path was leading them to the east by south-east direction.

"Big!" called Time, "Drop the solid fuel boosters! We don't need them now!"

"Got it!"

"Is the flight path still solid?!" he called to Lightning.

"Like there's any doubt!" she shouted back.

They passed through the upper cloud layer as the ship tilted lower. Even as they drew closer to orbit, they were gaining altitude more slowly as they moved further and further from the launch site.

"Woo-hoo!" shouted Lightning, "This is awesome!"

"Don't get cocky," said Time, "We're past the easy part of this mission. Now the real work begins."

"Boooriiing!"

"I'll take boring over reckless and dangerous."

"We should be weightless soon," interrupted Time, "Once there, we can unstrap and move about the cabin freely."

"Great," muttered Lightning, "I've been living for the day when I can finally see Big light on his hooves."

"And I've been waiting for the day when you finally become smart."

"Well at least one of our dreams came true, and it hasn't been mine yet."

"Uhm..." said Fluttershy softly, "Mister Richards?"

"I said smart, not smart-mouthed."

"It's just part of my charm," she replied.

"Uh... There might be a problem..."

"About as charming as hoof-rot."

"At least I don't smell like hoof-rot," replied Lightning.

"Richards..."

"Sorry," replied Time as he looked over to Flutters, "I was just triple checking my reentry calculations. Is there something wrong?"

"The cosmic radiation levels... seem a little higher... than we expected."

"We should be able to handle it with the radiation shielding I installed all over the craft."

"I'd feel better if the back-up shielding was added."

"Even if we had the budget for back-up shielding, we would have lost too much performance for adding the extra weight," he replied, "We're still far below the safe levels."

"Time to unbuckle and do some floating!" said Lightning.

"I'm going back to the cargo section and check on the first satellite payload."

"Good idea," he replied, "This satellite will advance the Science of Meteorology by decades."

"Not to mention our ability to see new mineral deposits without having to do so much digging."

"But that's what you're good at," commented Lightning.

"There's days when I want to bury you!" he replied as he made his way back through the rear hatch of the main cabin.

"I wish the sensors could say which direction the cosmic radiation was coming from."

"That's one of the great mysteries that Science will one day solve!" said Time Turner confidently.

"I don't see why you're so hot to keep all magic out of your project," muttered Lightning.

"Because magic is not reliable," he replied, "Only Science will be truly dependable in the end."

"That's not what she said."

"What?!" he asked in surprise.

"Oh nothing," replied Lightning.

"Oh... my..."

"The payload is ready to go, Big Brain!" came the call from the back.

"Before we depressurize the cargo area," said Time, "We need to make sure our suits are sealed properly and have a full load of air in case something does go wrong."

So they all checked their suits. Time Turner and Lightning moved back into the cargo bay with Big. They all switched to the suit's radios as sound was known to not travel in a vacuum. Each one said their suit was fully operational. They then moved most of the air out of the cargo bay and back to the ship's air tanks. Then the cargo doors began to open as Big operated the main switch from inside the cargo bay.

"Oh no..." said Flutters, "The cosmic radiation... it's off the charts..."

"It must be a cosmic radiation storm!" called Time Turner.

"What does cosmic radiation do to a pony's body?!"

"No pony knows for sure! It could be harmless or it could be deadly!"

"Oh, my head... Can't hardly think straight..."

"We can finally agree on something..." muttered Lightning.

"Close the hatches Big!" called Time, "Abort the mission! Activate the emergency reentry procedures!"

"The what?!"

"I built in a back-up automatic pilot in case there was no one qualified to fly the ship back to the landing strip! I also made safety straps so you can be in any part of the ship during landing!"

Big closed the hatches, and then they strapped themselves down in the cargo bay. But their heads hurt so much that they were all but incapacitated. In spite of the pain, Flutters managed to activate the emergency landing program. She passed out shortly thereafter.

...

Fluttershy awoke to find that they had landed, but it was more akin to a crash landing than a controlled one. She could see trees outside the windows and the angle the ship was resting at the time showed it wasn't level. She unstrapped herself and made her way back to the cargo bay. It was also a way out of the ship in case of an emergency. But she moved slowly because her body was tingling all over to the point of distraction. Her head was also feeling foggy.

"Mister Richards?!" she called back.

She opened the doorway to the cargo bay as she looked about.

"Anyone?!" she asked again.

On some instinct she didn't quite understand, she opened the main hatches to the cargo bay before she released the others. The air made an audible sound as it rushed it. Then she removed the helmet from her suit and breathed in deeply.

"We gotta get out," said Big, "There's enough fuel left to blow this ship sky high."

"Oh... my..."

"I'm in favor of not getting blown up," agreed Lightning as she unstrapped herself.

Soon they were all outside looking at the smoldering wreckage of their shuttle. They could see the path the ship left in terms of broken trees and torn up ground stretching back a good half mile. By then, they had all removed their helmets and breathed in the fresh woodland air around them.

"Where are we?!"

"Unless I'm completely wrong," said Time, "We've crashed in the Everfree Forest."

"Ah, then we didn't break anything that matters," replied Lightning.

"But the life in the Everfree Forest matters too..."

"We should get to a hospital. I... don't feel so good..."

"I'm not well either," replied Lightning, "I feel so hot... like I'm burning up..."

"The emergency flares are located in the main cabin," replied Time.

"My suit! It's shrinking!"

"No BIg. You're getting larger."

His suit was swelling until it began bursting at the seams.

"Hey!!" shouted Lightning, "I'm burning up!! I'm on fire!!" She was quite literally covered in flames as her suit burned away.

"Ugh..." said Time, "Gotta get the flares..." To his surprised, his hoof began stretching towards the wreck. His leg just grew longer and longer like a massive rubber band. No matter how long or thin it became, he had full control over it. Soon his hoof came back holding onto the case with the flares even though he only found the case by remembering where he last saw it.

"Hey! Where'd Fluttershy go?!"

"But I'm still right here..."

"Well I can't see you... it's like you're see through..."

"I think you mean invisible," replied Time.

"Don't bother him with big words," muttered Lightning, "Hey! These flames! They aren't hurting me! I feel like I can just..." Then she shot into the air leaving a fire trail behind. "FLY!!"

"Big deal. You're a pegasus."

"But now I fly like hot stuff!" she called as she flew circles around the wreck at incredible speeds, "I could never fly this fast before!"

"I have to get us back to the lab to find out exactly how the cosmic rays affected us!" called Time.

...

One week later...

...

"I've got the results from all of our tests," said Time, "It's not as bad as it could be. I've detected no signs of tumors or other cellular abnormalities. But we all seemed to have been changed on a genetic level."

"So what does that mean in plain pony talk?!" asked Lightning.

"That we have some kind of super powers now."

"Awesome!"

"Now Big, you have super strength and stamina. The density of your flesh is more like rock than muscle. I think you're incredibly resistant to almost any form of damage. The side effect is you quite literally weight a ton now."

"You mean I'll always look like this?!"

"Yes," he replied slowly, "I'm so sorry..."

"I don't blame you Big Brain. No way you could see this one coming."

"You're like... the Big Thing now!" laughed Lightning.

"Hey... that's kind of catchy."

"Now Lightning," said Time, "You're now a living inferno. You can ignite yourself at will and can apparently project flames almost without limits. By controlling those flames, you can propel yourself through the air with great ease..."

"I always knew I was hot stuff," she replied.

"While you can survive in super heated air, you can't function with a complete lack of oxygen... just like a flame. But you can turn those flames on and off at will. I suspect that you can even control what parts of your body are burning and which ones aren't."

"Sweet!" she said, "I'm going to call myself Really Really Hotchick!"

"Seriously?"

"Okay! Just spitballing here!" she said as she thought, "I'll call me self the Flying Inferno!!"

"That sounds like the name of a bad disaster film."

"I got it! The Equine Flare!"

"Don't those burn out in a few minutes?"

"WILL YOU STOP HARSHING MY BUZZ?!"

"How about the Hot-headed Matchstick?"

"Don't make me hurt you."

"I doubt you could if you wanted to."

"I'm going to sear you like an equine blaze!" she replied before she paused, "Hey! The Equine Blaze!"

"That's about as good as you're going to get."

"Now Fluttershy," he said as he ignored Big and Lightning's dispute, "It's hard to put into words exactly, but your body now generates... an invisible force."

"Invisible force?"

"Yes," he replied, "You can make things invisible by surrounding them with this force. And you can create shields, walls and other barriers from this same force."

"Force fields?"

"Basically," he replied, "There's no way to test the limits of this force as of this time, but I'm sure your force field is extremely resistant to both physical and energy based attacks."

"So you're like... the Invisible Mare!" offered Lightning.

"What about you, Big Brain?"

"My body is now extremely elastic, " he replied, "I can quite literally increase my length to about 1,500 feet before I reach my limits. My body is also extremely resilient, so I can almost take as much punishment as the Big Thing. But I resist force by yielding to it rather than trying to just have it bounce off your body, Big." He paused before he added, "And my brain seems to be more energetic."

"So you're even smarter than before?"

"That seems to be the ultimate side effect of that."

"So what happens to us now?"

"Princess Celestia has seen the benefits of my research," he said with a grin, "She plans to build a special building for me just outside of Canterlot so I can continue my research for the betterment of Equestria."

"It's probably far enough out of town so you won't blow it up by mistake."

He ignored the comment as he added, "No matter how many more assistants Celestia gives me, I wouldn't feel right if you all weren't here by my side as well."

"Can you make me look like I used to?"

"I don't know, but I swear I'll find a way to make that happen... someday."

"Then count me in."

"Count me in too."

"This sounds like a lot of fun," said Lightning, "I'm sticking around for sure."

"So what are you going to call yourself stretch-o?"

"Do I need one of these... silly nicknames?"

"Well d'uh," said Lightning, "Like a name like Time Turner Richards is going to sell comics..."

"Comics?!"

"How else are you going to fund this lab until you get some doohickey you can market?!"

"I guess so..."

A Fantastic Voyage (Part Two)

by neorenamon

In downtown Canterlot, the new super-powered ponies stood outside a slightly rustic looking building that stood out from the other buildings around it. While it was tall, it was also built like a brick hospital owing to the days when it served as Canterlot's premier paper factory. But because of the times, those functions were moved to a new location well outside town. Then the building was converted to an odd combination of business offices and well-to-do private suites.

A large sign on the top and at street level proudly pronounced the building as The Buckster Building. A smaller sign at street level added Home of Buckster Paper Processing and Publishing.

"Are you sure this is a good idea, Mister Richards?" asked Fluttershy.

"Well the location serves my needs well and the rent is right," replied Time Turner.

"No," she replied, "I mean building a super headquarters in the middle of Canterlot in an renovated factory building."

"I assure you that once the Princess finishes our permanent HQ on the outskirts of the city, this site should present up no problems. The top 5 floors are all but vacant anyways."

"But what about the other tenants in the building?"

"What about them?"

"Aren't you worried about the building being attacked by somepony with superpowers?"

"Why in Equestria would anypony do that?" he asked as he raised an eyebrow.

"I imagine we'll be making enemies along the way."

"You're surely overthinking this," he replied with a smirk.

"Hey Stretch-O!" called the Big Thing.

"Yes Big?" he asked he turned his head about 180 degrees.

"Yah still creep me out when ya do that!"

"And your point is?"

"Nothing!" he answered, "But ya will remember to add the gym I asked ya about, right?"

"Why do you need a gym when you have cosmic powered muscles?" asked Lightning.

"Cuz if ya don't use them, they'll turn to mush."

"Oh, like your brain," she replied.

"Yuk it up, laughin mare," he replied, "I'll show you mush!"

"What makes you think you could lay a hoof on me?!" she replied as she added, "FLAME ON!" Her body quite literally burst into full-bodied flame as she flew up into the air.

"Ya don't think I'll extinguish ya, match-stick?!" he replied as he shook his thick leg in Lightning's direction.

"A little discretion please?!" asked Mister Richards as he stretched his legs to make himself appear taller.

"Oh dear..." said Fluttershy as she faded from view.

While Mister Richards was distracted by the Big Thing and the Equine Blaze, a dapple gray pegasus bumped into his legs. It seemed odd that she managed to walk around the Invisible Mare but then bumped into Mister Richards.

"Oh excuse me," she said.

Richards brought his head down to her level as he asked, "Oh... can I help you?"

"This is the Buckster Building?" she asked.

"According to the signs it is," he replied.

"Oh goody," she replied, "I thought I might have gotten lost again."

"Doesn't she notice that she's bumped into the living pony rubber band?"

"Judging by the state of her eyes," he replied, "I believe she's both incapable of seeing and suffers from Vertical Strabismus."

"So... She's blind then?"

"That's simplifying what I said," he replied.

"I wonder how she missed me?"

"Well some blind ponies develop advanced hearing techniques that all them to move almost as well as ponies with sight."

"So what might your name be, Miss?"

"Derpy Masters," she replied, "I'm a clay sculptor."

"Wow. That sounds like some talent ya have there."

"It's not that difficult to understand," replied Richards, "considering molding clay is all about tactile interpretation."

"Look. I'm not terribly busy right now. Why don't I lead you up to your place?"

"By the way," she asked, "Who might you be?"

"Well I'm the Invisible Mare," replied Fluttershy.

"And I'm her sister," added Lightning, "the Equine Blaze!"

"Just call me the ever-lovin green-eyed Big Thing," he said as she put one of her forelegs about one of his. She seemed so small compared to him and his good 1 ton mass.

"Well you're lucky you can't scare her with your ugly mug!" teased Lightning.

"I can tell a gentle soul when I feel or hear one," she replied, "I'd never be scared of you."

"What?" he asked, "How can you tell what kind of soul I am?"

"The Big Thing is crushin over here!" teased Lightning as she flew about leaving a trail of fire behind her.

"Knock it off, Match-stick!"

"I'd love to make a statue of you sometime," she said as Big began leading her towards the lobby.

"Me?" he asked.

"Yes," she replied, "I want others to see the beauty that I can sense inside you."

"Yeah," replied Lightning, "You would have to be blind to see something beautiful in a walking pile of rocks!"

"One of these days, hot-head: I'm gonna kick you bang-zoom to da moon!"

"Do you have some kind of colorful name, Mister Richards?" she asked as they walked away.

"No," he replied, "Not really."

"How about the Incredible Elasticpony?!" asked Lightning.

"We went over this," he muttered, "and that's a no."

"How about Stretch Ponystrong?!" asked Lightning.

"No way!"

"How about Elongated Pony?"

"Too... simplistic."

"How about Plastic Pony?!"

"Most ponies don't even know what that is," he replied, "plus plastic is not elastic by it's nature!"

"How about Clayhoof?!"

"My molecular structure is in no way related to clay!"

"How about the Sandmare?!"

"I'm not made of sand and I'm not a mare!"

"How about Wildvine?!"

"I am not a plant!" he hissed.

"How about Inque?"

"Do I look like I'm a fluid?!"

"How about Jake?!"

"What does that even mean?!"

"How about Chaos?!"

"I am not Chaotic!" he protested.

"How about Monkey D Luffy?!"

"That's the stupidest name idea yet!" he cried as his temper grew shorter and shorter, "Are you even capable of a coherent thought?!"

"Oh oh!" she replied, "Majin Buu!"

"No, that's the stupidest name idea yet!"

"Somepony's getting touchy..."

He just groaned.

"I think she's just trying to pull your leg, Mister Richards..."

"And apparently it's working," He said to Flutters. Then he looked back to Lighning as he added, "Can we stop with the foalish names?! I'll get some super nickname when the time is right!"

"Party pooper."

He just sighed again.

"We should go the the upper levels to see what we have to work with."

"Good idea," he sighed.

"What's a matter Stretchy?!" asked Lightning, "Can't take the heat?!"

He refused to comment at that time. But while they were approaching the building, they bumped into a small dwarfish pony covered in dark green clothing and having black crystal googles over their eyes underneath their hood.

"Pardon me," said Richards as they continued on.

"Think nothing of it," said the pony in a deep stallions voice, "surface dweller."

"Uh... okay then..." he said without stopping.

'Wierdo!' they both thought as one.

...

Elsewhere in Time...

...

"Oh, I think that streak of gray in your mane and tail just make you look more dignified, Mistress," commented Spike Wong.

"Well it's been 50 years since I moved to Canterlot and set up my shop Spike," replied Doctor Twilight Strange. Spike was looking at her gray streak that was next to the red streak in her mane and tail now. She looked as Spike as she added, "You seem to have aged better."

Spike had grown a few feet over the decades and now had some muscles to speak of as well. Standing at his full height, he could be a towering a good 24 hooves (6 feet) tall.

"A testament to how well you've taken care of me," he replied.

Suddenly, Twilight began to shake as she said, "By the horey hooves of Hoggoth, what was that I just felt?!"

"Perhaps if we looked out the window," he suggested.

So she went over to the window and opened up the curtains. They soon beheld a nightmare scene in Canterlot.

"What madness is this?!" she asked.

"Well what ever it is, it seems the magic shield of the Sanctum Sanctimonious is keeping us safe for the moment."

"It shall not last," hissed a voice outside. They both blinked as the Dreaded Discordmammu appeared just outside the window.

"What crazy plan to rule this realm do you have now?!" she hissed.

"In spite of my several failed attempts to take over," he replied, "I'm not here to conquer you this time."

"Then what do you want?!"

"I... I... need your assistance."

"What-da-what?!"

"Don't make me repeat myself!" he hissed, "I shall say this only once! The one called Nightmare Moon has tampered with the past in a way that threatens both this realm and my beloved Dark Dimension!"

"Wow... you must really being swallowing your pride even to ask such a thing," she replied, "The situation must be truly dire."

"The humiliation in this is more than you can ever know."

"But how do I know this isn't just another of your lame tricks?!"

"Look at today's paper and you tell me," he hissed back.

Spike fetched the daily paper and returned with it.

"I don't get it," she replied as she looked it over, "Who are these super heroes I never heard of and why are they now missing?"

"It's all part of the altered past," he replied, "You have to go back in time to stop Nightmare Moon from altering time. It's up to you to figure out how the Spectacular Spider-Mare, Rainbow Thor Odindota and the others figure into Nightmare Moon's mad schemes."

"And you can't..."

"FOAL!!" he hissed, "If I could time travel, don't you think I'd just go back and kill you as a foal to stop you from becoming Equestria's Sorceress Supreme?!"

"Good point," she replied, "While it's extremely dangerous, I know the Book of the Ventasso does have time manipulation spells." Then she asked, "But what are you going to do while I'm gone?!"

"It shall take all of my powers to keep this realm and the Dark Dimension from fusing backwards in time," he hissed, "so you better move your flank QUICKLY!!"

"Ah, there's the arrogant attitude I've been missing." Then she looked to Spike as she said, "Get the Book of the Ventasso while I prepare ourselves for the trip."

About then, a stunning white alicorn mare strode in asking, "Father?! What are you going here?!"

"Ah, my little Fleur de Clea," he replied, "I've missed you so these past few decades."

"You know my heart belongs to Twilight now," she replied, "I shall never go back home."

"Well if the Sorceress Supreme fails in the past, then none of that will matter."

"I have to go back to the past to stop the meddling of Nightmare Moon," said Twilight.

"Not without me!" she pleaded.

"It's too dangerous," said Twilight as she stretched her wings from beneath the Cloak of Levitation.

"Oh please. If it wasn't for my sweet Clea, you'd never have become an alicorn and defeated me... what time was that?"

"Your sixty ninth invasion of this realm, father."

"Very well," replied Twilight, "I know well enough that once your mind is set, none can change it."

Fleur de Clea just smiled.

A Fantastic Voyage (Part Three)

by neorenamon

"Now see?" asked Mister Richards, "We have been in our tower for a whole week and nothing bad's happened to us."

"I you don't count the mutant moles in the basement," replied Fluttershy.

"Well since you convinced them to stop undermining the building's foundation, I'm not counting that."

"Well they were just trying to build a communal burrow," she replied, "There was no need for violence." The last part was made while looking at Lightning.

"What?!" replied Lightning, "One of the little rats bit me!"

"You don't handle wild animals like a pet," she replied, "They get afraid when handled by somepony they don't know."

"Now if you'll excuse me," said Mister Richards, "I need to get back to the lab to continue setting up my sensors and my computer."

"I thought this whole Buckster HQ thing was temporary?" asked the Big Thing from his especially large comfy chair in the corner.

"Still I should get some research done while I'm here," he replied as he got out of his own chair to leave, "After all, the possibility of other dimensions besides our own is just to interesting to let go even for a week..." His voice trailed off as he continued down to the elevator to go up to his labratory level.

"I'd swear he could make anything sound boring," sighed Lightning in reply.

"That's because any words with more than two syllables is confusing you."

"At least I don't have rocks for brains."

"At least I'm not a flaming hot-air brain."

"We're a team and we should really try to get along."

"Well as exciting as all this might be," he said as he got up, "I have an appointment to keep. Miss Masters wants me to continue modeling for her clay statue."

"You know she's just looking for an excuse to feel you up, right?"

"Har-dee-har-har, match-stick."

"I wonder just how anatomically correct she's going to make it?"

The Big Thing just sighed as he stomped out of the room. Then Lightning made her way over to the couch to sit by her big sister.

"Oh... my..."

"So..." she asked slowly, "When are you going to ask him?"

"It's... not the... right time yet..."

"You know that between having his nose in his books, reading his scanner doohickeys and that other nerdy stuff, he's never going to look at you with any interest."

"Well... He's very busy... right now..."

"I bet that talking computer he's working on is going to get more personal time with him than you are."

"Well I'm sure the computer... will be a better lab assistant than I was..."

"Well at least there's no other mare competing for his attention."

Flutters nodded.

"That you know of..."

She swallowed hard.

"I kid you sis!" she giggled, "You make it just too easy!"

"Why don't we go around Canterlot and do a little shopping. That always makes me feel better... about things."

"Fine," she sighed, "I suppose I could always use some new clothes."

"Considering how many of them you've burnt up so far."

"Well Mister Richards won't spring for magically flame-proof clothing," she muttered, "and I don't like fluffy dresses anyways."

"He did say that he's working on something called 'unstable molecules'. Once he makes us suits from that, they shouldn't be affected by any of our powers."

"He better make mine as hot looking as I am."

"Well he's not exactly a fashion designer."

"You can say that again!"

"Well he's not exactly..."

"That's a figure of speech sis," she sighed.

"Well I do know somepony who does have a great fashion sense," she replied.

"Maybe we should go see them?"

"Well, I'm sure she's busy with her shop during business hours..."

"Oh I'm sure she can take a few moments to consult with us!"

"Okay..."

"Besides, there's nothing to eat here. I could use some breakfast while we're out."

"Okay..."

...

5 Minutes Later...

...

Fluttershy and Lightning were walking down the street as they passed by a fairly large and dark building. It seemed to be the only building in all of Canterlot that had a dark cloud hovering over it.

"Wow, what's this creepy dump?" asked Lightning as she looked it over.

"I believe this is the Plotverian Embassy."

"Wow," she replied, "What kind of creep lives here?"

"I don't know since I've never been to the Plotverian Embassy."

"That country is supposed to be so small, they don't have the room to make their own postage stamps!"

"I'm sure that's not a nice thing to say."

Little did they know that at that moment, a dark armored pony was looking down on them through the window. A large scary pony the likes of which they had never seen before.

"Laugh while you can, cretins," said the dark voice as lightning flashed around the building, "Until the day you find yourselves in the service of Lord Doctor Tirek VonDoom, King of Plotveria." <== Insert evil laughter here.

"Uh... did you hear something little sis?" asked Lightning as she looked about.

"No, but the weather seems to be strange around the Plotverian Embassy."

"Ah, then it probably wasn't anything important."

"I hope it won't be a problem having our temporary HQ down the street from here."

"Aw, who wouldn't want to be in the same neighborhood as a fantastic foursome like us?!"

"Ooo, that sounds kind of catchy."

"What? The Fantastic Foursome?" she replied, "Actually that was the title of a porn film I once saw when I was a little too drunk and bored one night."

"Oh... my..."

"Hey... Maybe you can drag the bookworm to one of those movies and get him thinking about you!"

"Oh... my..."

Lightning began laughing loudly.

"I... don't want him... to think I'm... you know... that kind of mare..."

She leaned closer to Flutter's ear as she whispered, "But maybe he's that kind of stallion?"

"Oh... my..."

"After all, everyone's bed is going to be big enough for two."

"Lightning... you shouldn't talk like that..."

"Or what?" she replied, "You'll blush more?"

Fluttershy realized that she was getting hot in her cheeks and was surely blushing noticeably.

"Besides, when I get my own steady stallion, I'm not going to be able to sleep with you at night any more."

"I... know..."

"I betcha Mister Richards could keep you safe at night just like I keep you safe now," she purred.

"Can we please talk about something else?"

There was an awkward pause before they passed by the next building. Lightning looked up and asked, "Wow, is every building on this street besides ours from Creepsapalooza?"

Flutters looked up to see something looking like a Gothic library that she didn't remember seeing there before. Even the roof was lined with creepy statues of gargoyles and the whole building looked out of place... except for the Plotverian Embassy next door.

"I wonder what kind of creep lives here?"

"I'm sure that's not a nice thing to say."

Little did they know that a cloaked figure was watching them from her window.

"It seems we've arrived back in time before Nightmare Moon began her plan," she sighed as she watched the two walking by, "Now as long as I don't run into myself in the Crystal Mountains, I don't think there's going to be any paradox issues."

"Shall I make some tea Mistress?" asked the dragon just behind her.

"Oh please do," she replied as she turned away from the window.

Lightning Dust began laughing out loud.

"What's so amusing?"

"What's so funny?!" she replied, "Just look at that sign!"

The Sanctum Sanctimonious

"I don't see what's so funny..."

"I'll explain it to you later sis," she replied.

"Okay... but I wouldn't make fun of someone we might need to get help from one day..."

"As if!" she giggled.

A Fantastic Voyage (Part Four)

by neorenamon

Fluttershy and Lightning laid out of their lounge chairs as two mares fussed over their hooves. They also had mud masks and cuccumber slices over their eyes.

"You're hooves are so rough, my dear," sighed Aloe as she filed away at Lightning's right front hoof.

"Hey," she protested, "Action ponies don't have time for fru-fru stuff like that!"

"You should always take good care of your hooves," said Lotus as she painted Fluttershy's left front hoof, "Your sister here definitely takes good care of hers. You should take some tips from a mare like this."

"Oh... thank you," she sighed back.

"I don't know why I let you talk me into this, sister," muttered Lightning.

"Because this always lets me relax and deal with the tensions of life."

"I'd rather go up to the tensions in my life and kick them in the teeth."

"Oh... my..."

"Violence doesn't solve problems," said Aloe.

"It sure as heck solves my problems."

"Violence only begets violence," replied Lotus.

"When you deal with the violent, than violence is the only language they understand. So I learned to speak that language well."

"Peace is the only way to break the cycle of violence."

"Nah, I broke most of my cycles running into trees," she replied, "It's harder to control a cycle after you leave the ramp."

Aloe and Lotus blinked while Flutters sighed and face-hooved herself.

"What?!" she muttered, "Are we going to wear this stuff much longer? It's making my face sting."

"Oh, I think there's only about half an hour left," replied Aloe.

"I remember now why it's been so long since I let you drag me to one of these places. They're so boring."

"You must be willing to let go in order to relax," answered Lotus.

"I swear if anyone starts talking about good vibes, I'm outta here!"

Fluttershy sighed.

...

"Are you doing alright?" asked Derpy, "You've been posing for a few hours now."

"Nah," replied the Big Thing, "I'm doing great. But if you wanna take a break, that's okay with me."

"You're the best model I've ever had."

"Aw go'wan."

"No," she replied, "I'm serious."

He glanced over at his developing statue and noticed the great detail she put into it. It looked like someone made a little clone of him, but from clay. Looking at his mini-me more carefully, he noticed she was making him look thoughtful and a little brooding as he rested his chin on his hoof. No one had ever really tried to show him as some kind of thinker.

"I don't know," she sighed as she paused in her labors, "It just doesn't feel like I'm showing the true beauty I feel in your soul." She walked over and placed her hoof on his chest. "Showing a heart as large as yours... it seems so daunting."

"Don't beat yerself up over this," he replied as he put his hoof over hers, "I think yer doin a bang-up job."

"You're so nice to me."

"Just being honest."

"Well... could I bother you?" she asked somewhat shyly.

"Sure."

"Can you take me to a corner vendor?" she asked, "It's been a while since I've had a hot carrot-dog..."

"Course I will," he replied, "I could use one of those myself."

"Thank you," she said as she went off to search for her purse.

"You need any help with that?" he asked as he stood up.

"I'm good," she replied, "Thank you for asking though."

She returned with her purse and the two of them started their way down to the street level.

"Don't you... ya'know... worry bout livin alone?"

"Oh, I'm pretty good at taking care of myself."

"That doesn't mean ya have to do it all alone."

"Well," she replied more slowly, "Perhaps things will be different... when I find my special somepony."

"I guess so. Maybe I'll find somepony special too," he said as he looked down at Derpy. She seemed so small and frail compared to him and his "rocky" body. He thought how he just might break something on her by accident. 'Pity it can't be somepony as nice as her,' he thought, 'I don't want to hurt her... with my clumsy hooves.'

"Ah, it's nice to feel the sun on my hide," she sighed as she stretched out her wings.

"I guess so," he replied as he looked up and down the street.

"I smell some hot carrots nearby," she said as she sniffed, "up the street to the north."

So he looked that way and realized she knew the vendor was there before he even saw them.

"Wow, you're good."

"When you're blind," she replied, "You have to learn to compensate."

"Oh... I see... I mean I understand... uh..."

She giggled as she said, "Oh, I know what you meant to say."

Then he noticed the vendor was starting to pack up his cart.

"HEY BUDDY!" he called, "I GOT SOME BUSINESS OVER HERE!"

"Okay!" he called back as they walked up.

"How many ya want?" he asked as he looked down at Derpy.

"One is enough for me," she replied. Then she sniffed the air before she added, "Give me the works. And by the works, I mean the hot peppers I smell."

The Big Thing blinked as he looked at the condiments.

"That's awful hot there Miss," said the vendor, "You sure about that?"

"Positive," she replied.

"Gimme dozen of the same," he added.

"Sure," mused the vendor, "No problem." He paused to figure something in his head before he said, "That'll be sixty bits."

"Prices are going up," he muttered as he reached for his wallet.

"I have this," she said as she pullet her wallet from her purse.

"Ya sure?"

"I don't mind," she replied as she began counting out the bits.

"Well... Thanks," he replied as he watched him making their food.

About then, the ground began to shake around them.

"What the hay is that?!" he asked, "An earthquake around here?!"

"No," she replied, "It feels like there's something moving beneath the ground."

The ground began to swell in the middle of the street about half a block away from them.

"Well I don't think they're coming up here for tea!" He looked at Derpy as he said, "You better stay back here and let me take care of this problem Miss Masters."

"Just be careful," she replied as he ran ahead.

A huge monster burst from the street as he ran towards it.

"Dang. I'm glad to know I don't have the ugliest mug around."

Ponies around them began to panic and flee in the opposite direction. He glanced back to see the vendor guiding Derpy back from the monster as he pulled his cart behind him.

'Ah owe ya one pal,' he thought as he watched him go.

"RAAARRRGGGHHH!!" roared the monster.

"You ain't welcome here!" he replied as he kicked him in the nose. It didn't seem to phase the creature. "Well this is going to be one long day," he sighed just before the monster used it's leg to smash him into the pavement.

"ROAR!! GROWL!!"

"Oh... I heard ya the first time..." he moaned from the crater he was stuck in.

...

"Is that the new album from Wordplay?" asked Pinkie as she glanced at the new cassettes being carried by Vinyl.

"Oh yeah," she replied, "He's just amazing!"

"Isn't he just stringing together a bunch of f-bombs?"

"Oh, it's so much more than that!" she laughed, "You gotta listen when you get the chance!" She slipped one of the cassettes into her tape deck and slipped headphones over her ears.

"I suppose his music takes a little getting used to," she muttered as Vinyl blissed out.

Just then, Pinkie's sense went off. The ground began to tremble around them, but Vinyl managed to ignore them somehow. She was just tapping her hoof as she shook her head back and forth. Pinkie couldn't even tell if her eyes were open under her violet mirrored goggles. So she ducked into the alley as she took her backpack from her shoulder.

'This looks like a job for the Spectacular Spider-Mare!'

In but a moment, the Spider-Mare was crawling up the side of the building. She climbed several stories to look around. In the distance, she could see some huge shape between the buildings. It was moving jerkily as if it was in battle. A glance down to make sure Vinyl was okay, and then she used her web line to swing in the direction of the battle.

'That must be the second largest monster I've ever seen!' thought Pinkie as she came into view.

Then she saw a smaller reddish rocky pony battling it. It was hard to tell which one looked stranger.

"Try that again cupcake!" called the rocky pony to the huge monster.

"ROAR!!" it roared as it tried to smash the stallion again.

"Is this a private party," she asked as she swung past, "or can anypony join?!"

"I don't mind," he replied, "You have to ask that of twinkle-hoof over here!"

"ROOOAAARRR!!"

Spider-Mare landed on his head as she said, "I think some monster needs a hug!"

"I think somepony needs a mental exam," he muttered.

A Fantastic Voyage (Part Five)

by neorenamon

"Wow," said Spider-Mare, "It feels like we've been fighting this monster for three weeks."

"Three weeks?!" replied the Big Thing, "It's hardly been 5 minutes."

Hey, I'm sorry I didn't get around to updating this story sooner. Just cut me some slack Pinkie.

"Oki doki loki!" she replied cheerfully.

"Who the hay are you talkin to?"

"Oh, it's nobody important," she giggled.

Thanks Pinkie. Thanks a lot.

"You're welcome!"

"RAAARRR?!" asked the monster.

Yes yes, we love you too subterranean monster. Please get back to fighting, kay? I'd swear every pony is going to give me lip today...

"It's time to bring the hoof down!" called the Big Thing as he kicked the monster in the foreleg. The monster was less than impressed with the power behind the blow.

"What kind of catch phrase is that?"

"Cut me some slack over here cupcake!" he replied, "I'm... still working on that!"

"Mmm..." she replied, "Cuuupcaaakesss..."

"Can we focus over here?!"

"Focus?" she asked as she dodged aside from the monster's wild swing at her, "What's that?"

"Why am I not surprised to hear that?"

"I'm surprised that you can hear anything with no ears."

"I have ears over here!" he growled, "Hearing you just fine!"

The monster kicked the Big Thing into the nearest parked cargo wagon.

"Say," asked Pinkie, "Where's your friends?"

"What makes ya think I got friends?" he asked as he pulled himself from the wreckage.

"Pinkie sense," she replied.

"I dunno," he replied, "Probably all back at the Buckster Building all nice and cozy..."

"What?" called a nearby mare, "You can't get by for one day without us?!"

"Oh my..."

They looked over to see that the Invisible Mare and the Equine Blaze had arrived on the scene.

"Hey, where's the Big Brain?!"

"I don't need the rubber band to show this monster who's boss!" replied Blaze.

"Oh... uh... well, I think he's... calibrating the building's new computer system... if that's alright..."

"Well it's time to BLAZE ON!!" called the Blaze as she became coated in intense flames.

"Oh, Blaze on!" said Pinkie, "That's catchy!"

"Hey!" she replied, "I can't help how awesome I am!"

"Yeah, and all kinds'a modest too."

"You don't have to be modest when you're awesome!"

The Invisible Mare projected her force field to make a bubble around the Big Thing to take a blow meant for him. She visibly grunted when she felt the feedback from the creature's attack.

"Since the monster came from underground, I think we can encourage it to go back there," observed Spider-Mare.

"Oh, I think I can persuade that thing to go home," replied Blaze as she shot flames into the monster's backside like a flamethrower.

The monster bellowed to show it's disapproval of the Blaze's tactics and kicked a large rock in her direction. The Invisible Mare blocked the rock with her force field making her wince once more.

"I have an idea," said Spider-Mare.

"This should be good..."

"Can you make a flaming wall around the monster?" she asked, "I think a wall of flames should discourage the monster from rampaging all around Canterlot."

"That's sounds so cool!" replied Blaze, "Let's give that a try!" She shot flames from her hooves forming a circular was of fire all around the monster, and the monster did seem to be inclined not to cross the barrier.

"Oh my..." observed the Invisible Mare as she looked up, "Those rainclouds are coming in fast..."

"Oh great," she muttered, "Why does it never rain when it's convenient for me?!"

A blue pegasus mare flew in apparently being pulled along by her magical hammer.

"When it is convenient for me mortal," she said.

"Who the hay are you?!"

"I am the champion of Celestia and the greatest warrior of Equestria," she replied, "Rainbow Thor Odindota!"

The clouds began to pour rain down all around them suppressing the Blaze's flaming construct.

"HEY! We're trying to keep that monster from rampaging over here!"

"Surely a matter that the scion of Asgard cannot handle herself."

"I thought Odin sent you here to learn some modesty," replied Spider-Mare.

"How do you know of that, mortal?!"

"Piiinkie Sennnse..."

"Sounds like gibberish to me too."

"Well the heavens shall end this matter more quickly than uncontrolled flames!" she called as lightning came from the clouds to blast the monster from more than one direction at the same time.

The monster realized it was badly outclassed and decided to retreat below the ground to escape further torment.

"Whee!" said Spider-Mare, "A win for the good ponies!"

"I hate rain," muttered the Blaze as she landed and let her flames go out.

"We should form an alliance of super heroes!"

"What da what now?"

"Nah, we got teammates already," said the Blaze.

"Well some more... friends... wouldn't hurt."

"I don't see myself working with Cupcake over here again," muttered the Big Thing as he started to walk away.

"That's the Spectacular Spider-Mare!!" she called after him, "or maybe the Invincible Spider-Mare? The Astounding Spider-Mare?"

"Whatever."

"The day shall not come when Rainbow Thor needs the help of mortals," she replied as she flew back towards Celestia's Palace. She hoped that Celestia would be pleased with what she had done that day.

"Oh, I'm sure they'll all come together when there's a threat big enough they can't handle on their own," replied Spider-Mare.

Hey! No spoilers Pinkie!

"Hello! It's called foreshadowing!"

Who's writing this?

"I like to think of this as a collab."

Oh just great.

"Besides, you haven't mentioned the mysterious cameo yet."

DO YOU MIND?!

"Nope."

Meanwhile, a mysterious pony looked down from an apartment rooftop down the street. With all of his swords, guns and bombs, he surely could have done something to help. He also seemed to be covered in black and red as much as Pinkie Pie was covered in her Spider-Mare costume.

"Hey," he replied as he looked aside, "I'm a mercenary. Not a charity case. That's not the way of Ch..."

HEY HEY HEY!! What part of mysterious pony don't you get?!

"Fine," he muttered, "but I better get a good video game deal out of this."

Hey! I'm just a writer of fanfiction here. I don't know anyone connected to the gaming industry.

"Well I'm sure some business will turn up real soon."

"If you're going to be my rival," said Pinkie as she poked her head in from the side, "It should be soon."

PINKIE!!!

"So we'll see who breaks the fourth wall better," said the mystery pony as he glared at the Spider-Mare.

"Among other things," she replied.

And thus does this chapter mercifully end...

A Canterlot Wedding (Part One)

by neorenamon

"This day must be perfect," muttered Celestia as she paced before Rainbow Thor.

"What is so special to concern you so?" asked RT as she watched the Princess pacing.

"There shall be a Royal Wedding unlike one I have not had the honor to host in a thousand years," she replied, "and I wish to have it go without any... complications."

"Fear not mare-lady," she replied with a grin, "What god or monster besides Loki would dare interfere in such a blessed event?"

"That is exactly what bothers me," she said as she looked down at her hooves, "First the Frost Giant-Horses and then the Dark Changelings... What does Loki have against me?"

"It is surely not your fault! It is the way of my half-brother to lash out against me in any way he can!"

"And now there's an... upwelling of super-powered ponies just popping up out of the woodwork."

"I doubt it much that they pose any serious threat to the likes of me," she replied.

"They seem to have some... dangerous abilities. Super pony abilities. Mighty strength, un-Earthy toughness, super-heated flames, advanced science, strange senses, wall crawling and leaping from rooftop to rooftop... and those are the abilities that have been reported to me. Surely there's more powers we haven't had a chance to observe yet."

"They still pose no threat to the likes of the scion of Asgard."

"Perhaps I am... overthinking things," sighed the Princess.

"I swear upon my word to the All-Father that I shall keep you safe from all manner of harm," replied Rainbow as she stepped closer.

The Princess turned her head sharply to kiss Rainbow on the lips. It seemed that she wasn't caught off guard by the move. The kiss lasted for a few moments before the Princess backed away.

"Please..." she begged softly, "Tend me in my chambers tonight. Being with you... makes me feel safe."

Rainbow gulped as she replied, "Of course, mare-lady."

"It seems lately that my dreams have be troubled by my greatest failure."

"What might that be?" she asked.

"I don't know why I feel so comfortable telling you this," she answered awkwardly, "but a thousand years ago, my younger sister turned against me. She became evil. I had to banish her from the realm of Equestria. Now she is forever trapped in the Dream World. If I didn't have spells to protect my slumber, I'd almost swear it was her doing."

"The one called Nightmare Moon?"

Celestia shuddered at the mention of the name causing RT to move closer and neck hug her again.

"I'm so sorry for mentioning... her. I had no desire to hurt you so."

"No, it's not your fault. It was all my failing."

"How could that be your fault, mare-lady?"

"If... if... I was only a better big sister... to little Luna..." she said as she began to sniffle.

"Surely she would have become what she did no matter what you intentions might be," replied RT as she hugged Celestia tighter.

"Do you think things might have been different... between you and Loki?"

"Loki shall surely be not appeased by anything less than my total defeat and humiliation," she answered, "Jealously be an ugly beast that has turned many a good warrior against his brothers in arms. Loki claims that I have the All-Father's favor only because I am his true daughter, but his envy blinds him to the fact he is far from the warrior ideal that Odin seeks in his offspring... adopted or otherwise."

"Look at me," she sniffed, "Carrying on like a newborn foal away from her mother's care..."

"Your subjects should not care that you have feelings mare-lady," she replied.

"I wish it were so," she sobbed, "But I have to be strong for every pony I rule..."

"Very well," she answered, "I shall clear a path to your chambers. Then I shall... ease your mind. We shall stay there until sundown. They can get by without your presence for one night without arousing too much suspicion."

"Lord Odin should be so proud of you," she sniffled, "I surely am. You are far too kind to me."

"Perhaps... a bath after dinner will let you sleep more at ease?" suggested Rainbow.

"Not as much as sleeping with you in my forelegs," she sighed.

"I'm glad I can do that much for you."

"Give me a moment to wipe my eyes," she said as her mane moved to wipe away her tears, "I must appear... dignified at all times. That is the burden of ruling as Princess of this realm."

"Of course," she replied, "I can... surely understand your concerns."

"I just hope that all of the spies on my staff... have been removed."

"Now that we can detect the Dark Changelings with spells from the Royal Guard unicorns in any form they should take, Loki is not likely to try using them again."

"We should still be wary of their Queen," she said as she wiped her eyes, "She... is more accomplished than her... minions. One as skilled as her may yet avoid detection spells."

"Would she be so brash as to try something when she cannot take her subjects along with her?"

"I should hope not."

"Fear not then," said RT as she walked away, "I swear upon my divine hammer that I shall not allow this Dark Changeling Queen to harm but a single hair upon your mane!"

"Thank you."

A Canterlot Wedding (Part Two)

by neorenamon

Meanwhile, down a dark scary alley...

The Royal Canterlot Seneschal made her way deeper into the alley wondering what the hay she was doing there at all. It certainly was befitting her status to be going into a crime ridden area of Canterlot no matter what Princess Cadance felt she needed. A dark alley surely wasn't the place one would go for the kind of services the Princess was looking for. A tall statuesque unicorn like her with her ivory hide, lavender mane and tail swirling along with her movements seemed totally out of place here.

At any moment, she felt like she could have been mugged or jumped by some monster from the shadows. It wasn't like there was a lack of hiding places. The scurrying rats alone were making her terrified. The night seemed to be alive with eyes looking at her from every direction...

"Oh come on," said Pinkie cheerfully, "It's not really all that bad!"

Do you mind? I'm trying to make some suspense over here!

"You make this sound like Slime Alley or something."

No, that's three streets north of here by the really fancy movie theatre. That way, rich people's parents can get killed for no reason because who doesn't think it's totally safe to just take a short cut through...

"I think we're getting a little off topic."

Okay fine. I blame you.

"Me?!"

You keep distracting me with this... banter.

"Bruce Banter?!" she asked as she looked about, "Where?!"

No... that's not what... oh nevermind!

"This better not be some kind of joke!" called the Seneschal, "I'm a very important pony and I don't have time for this!"

There was only the sound of scurrying rats in reply.

"I mean it!" she snapped, "If I don't see somepony in 5 seconds or so, I'm leaving!"

Crickets chirping. (cough) Pinkie? I think you're missing your cue... (cough)

"Oh who's ruining the suspense now?"

The Seneschal turned and began to leave... She's leaving Pinkie.

"Hold up there friend!" called a mare's voice from above.

"What?!" she asked as she looked around, "Show yourself at once!"

"Somepony wanted the best baker in all of Canterlot," replied the voice, "and here I am."

"Why is a baker taking orders in a dark alley?!"

"Wait," asked Pinkie, "Why am I taking orders in a dark alley?"

Because you don't want to be associated with the bakery as the Spider-Mare yet and you can't take orders from your Aunt's basement. Now can we get back to the scene?

"Okie doki loki!"

(sigh) Why can't I get characters who know how to act?

"Because I have enemies," replied the Spider-Mare as she crawled down the wall, "Powerful enemies who would like nothing more than to crush my dreams like a bug... and I don't want anyone to know I'm living in the basement of my Aunt and Uncle."

"Oh..." she replied, "I... guess that makes sense."

"I understand you have a large order from the Princess?"

"Why yes... Yes I do," she replied as she looked up, "But how can you bake such an order without..."

"Look bub," she replied, "I'm the best at what I do. What I do isn't pretty."

"You bake," she answered back, "How's that not pretty?"

"Funny. They've never had a comeback to that one before..."

"Are you serious?" sniffed the Seneschal.

"I won the Equestria National Baking Competition, didn't I?"

"Yes you did. I heard the cake you made was rather impressive."

"Allrightythen. Tell me what you want, where you want it and when it has to be there."

"Very well," she sniffed as she used her magic to pull a scroll from her mane, "This list details everything she wants in her seven layer wedding cake as well as the three secondary five layer wedding cakes that are supposed to go along with it."

The Spider-Mare came down to take the scroll from her hoof. She paused to read the list.

"Special flavoring agent?" she asked, "Where do I get that from?"

"If you accept the job, I'll give it to you right now," she replied, "It's supposed to be Princess Celestia's favorite... accent. Be sure to add it to ALL of the cakes."

She glanced at the list again before she replied, "For this amount of bits, I'm sure every cake will be perfect."

A bottle floated out from her mane as she sighed, "Great. Can I leave now?"

"I've got nothing else to say," she replied.

"Fine," she sniffed as she turned about, "But seriously you'd do much better in a legitimate bakery shop. This dark alley stuff just isn't going to last."

"Yeah, because the banks are just dying to give loans to masked bakers," she sighed as she crawled back up the wall.

"I guess so," she replied quietly as she all but sprinted out the alley.

"By the way, I didn't catch your name," called Spider-Mare.

"If you must know, it's Sassy."

Overhead, another mysterious pony was watching the proceeding with interest. "Another party that needs crashing," he said softly, "Another party that needs a real planner."

Duh-duh-dunnn...

Later in Princess Celestia's bedchambers...

"Oh you make me feel so good," moaned Celestia as she thrashed her head from side to side. She lay on her back in her extra large Royal Bed under her covers as a large mass moved about under the sheets on the lower half of the bed.

Fortunately, the curtains about the bed were closed and enchanted to keep noise levels down from inside. Otherwise the Guards surely would have heard the way Celestia was moaning, groaning and carrying on so. She was so worked up that her wings were all but frozen in the extended position.

"Right there!" she moaned as she leaned her head back and arched her spine making her barrel rise, "But deeper! Harder! Faster! Yes, yes, yes!"

She marvelled at how obedient her new servant was. How eager she was to obey the every whim of a Princess. At first, she thought it was just to take her punishment stoically, but now things felt... different. Perhaps she really was trying to be more than just friends with her. All of that didn't seem to matter as much as the Princess' heavy panting and moaning.

"Oh I can't take much more of this!" she moaned.

She looked down at the lump at the back of the bed and wondered if somepony else wasn't having a raging wingboner of their own. Somepony was surely enjoying what they were doing.

"Please," she begged, "Don't make me wait for this! It's torture I tell you!"

The mass pushed closer to the front of the bed making the bulge rise higher.

"That's it!!!" she moaned, "I'm... I'm... AHHH!!!"

She shivered as she climaxed hard. Moments passed before she could come down from her shuddering orgasm. Then the mass pushed forward again to the edge of the bed sheets.

"Oh yes..." she panted at last, "I love you so much..."

"We love you too, big sister!" sneered Nightmare Moon as she poked her head out from under the covers. Her green cat-like eyes seemed to drill their way into Celestia's brain with their piercing gaze.

Celestia awoke screaming. She was spooning Rainbow Thor who was now quite awake.

"What is it, mare-lady?!" asked Rainbow Thor as she turned her head back.

"It's nothing," she blurt out, "Nothing to worry about!"

"Surely a dream so troubling is not 'nothing to worry about'," she replied, "You need proper sleep if you want to be your best at this wedding. Perhaps a sleeping potion..."

"Well if you wish to help me sleep, there is something you can do," she said as she began whispering something in Rainbow Thor's ear. A moment passed as RD's cheeks turned bright red.

"That... will help you sleep?!" she asked awkwardly.

"If you don't want to..."

"No no no!" she replied, "I... shall do my best... but I warn you I've never done anything like this before..."

"Just do as I say," answered the Princess, "and you'll do just fine."

RD reversed herself as she crawled under the sheets.

"Ah it's good to be a Princess," sighed Celestia as she watched the mass moving towards the back half of the bed.

A Canterlot Wedding (Part Three)

by neorenamon

Celestia awoke in a mild sweat. 'That was a strange dream,' she thought as she spooned Rainbow Thor, 'Would I really ask her to do something like that for me?'

Rainbow stirred in the Princess' forelegs.

'If I didn't know better, I'd say that Nightmare Moon was responsible,' she thought hotly, 'But she's trapped in the Dream Realm where her powers cannot touch me. It must be my own mind that's messing with me.'

She hugged the rainbow maned Pegasus god a little tighter.

'Still I can't quite understand why I... like her so much,' she thought curiously, 'Ever since the... incident in the bath with the Dark Changelings... I wonder if a goddess is on the same level as a noble here in Canterlot?'

Then she shook her head vigorously.

'What am I thinking?!' she thought, 'A relationship with a pony from another dimension?! How would my subjects react to that?'

"Are you awake, mare-lady?" asked Rainbow Thor somewhat sleepily.

"I have just awakened," she replied, "You?"

"I have been awakened but a moment," she answered.

"I see," she said softly, "Perhaps we should have a quick bath before we go on to breakfast?"

Rainbow half rolled her head back as she muttered, "You ponies surely value your bathing, don't you?"

"We surely do."

"We bathed before we went to bed," she continued, "What could have transpired in the night that would require cleaning?"

"Oh... I think I was a bit... overheated... in the night," whispered the Princess as she licked the back of one of RD's ears.

"Mare-lady?!" asked RD as she turned her head more towards the Princess.

"It seems that you have sweat a bit in the night as well."

"That is a most unusual test of cleanliness, mare-lady."

"The most accurate tests... can be that way."

"Very well," sighed RD, "If it would please thou, then I would not mind a quick bath."

"I'm sure that when you return to Asgard, your All-Father will surely think you most accomplished."

"Or he shall think my mind has slipped away," muttered RD under her breath.

"Sorry?"

"Oh... I said, 'For a long time, I wish to stay'," she replied louder.

"Oh, that is such a sweet thing to say."

"If I were but a stallion, I would ask the All-Father to bless our union."

"That might be something we can fix."

"Pardon mare-lady?"

"I said, 'I am worried about tricks'," she said quickly.

"I shall keep my eyes open for the machinations of my half-brother Loki."

"I also have the feeling that the Dark Changeling Queen known as Mystique Chrysalis might be around as well."

"I shall surely keep my eyes open for anyone suspicious like her as well."

"Being with you has never left me feeling safer than I do right now," she sighed even as she thought, 'Not since the time before I had to banish my own sister to the Dream Realm for becoming Nightmare Moon.'

"It is surely an honor to hear you say such things," she replied.

"But it's very important that this wedding between Princess Cadance and Shining Armor goes... without issues."

"I promise I shall do everything in my power to make sure it goes without incident."

"Coming from you, I believe that it can go well."

Rainbow Thor blushed as she looked away from Celestia. Then she blushed more as Celestia licked the back of her ear once more.

"Have we not established that we require cleaning, mare-lady?!" asked RD as she shivered.

"Let's just say... it serves more than one purpose," she said softly before she took RD's ear into her mouth. Her ear was suckled upon rather firmly.

RD's cheeks turned bright red as she squirmed under Celestia's attention.

'It's good to be a Princess.'

A Canterlot Wedding (Part Four)

by neorenamon

"Now now," said Princess Mi Amore Cadenza towards the staff of Canterlot Castle, "Everything must be perfect for my wedding! After all, this is probably the only wedding I'm going to get in this life and I want everyone to be envious of it!"

A large number of the palace staff had been called into the main conference room to coordinate wedding plans with Princess Cadance. There was the kitchen cooks, the porters, the maid staff, the heralds and some others as well. All of them had been called away from their duties in order to attend this meeting.

"I'm sure everything will meet your expectations," said the Seneschal.

"They better!" she snapped.

"You would be best to remember that the staff and I work for Princess Celestia," she said back evenly, "Not for you or any other visitor in the land of Equestria. So you should speak to us more respectfully, mare-lady."

"Most of you aren't even fit to buff my hooves," she snorted back, "You keep that in mind. If you think for one minute that I can't convince Celestia to fire any of you, then you are sadly mistaken."

"Duly noted," she replied as she noticed the nervous looks in the peripherals of her vision.

"Good," said the Princess as she looked at the small tome sitting on the table, "I expect everything I listed in my proposal to be carried out to the letter. As for me, I have other matters to attend to. Very important matters." She than turned and stormed out of the room.

"It's lucky she isn't being pushy," said one of the mare maids sarcastically as she looked at the hundred or so pages of demands and conditions Cadance expected to be filled for her wedding day.

"I thought she was supposed to be the Princess of Love," muttered one of the porter stallions.

"Apparently not everyone gets love," said one of the cooking stallions.

"Now now," said the Seneschal, "The Princess is under a lot of stress. I'm sure she isn't like this normally."

"Thank Celestia there's no stress in our jobs," muttered one of the Herald stallions.

"She's a noble," she replied, "Their allowed to be... eccentric."

"A polite way of saying crazy," said an anonymous pony in the back.

"How is the wedding plans going?" asked Celestia as she looked into the room.

Everyone was startled as she walked in followed by Rainbow Thor.

"Oh, things are going just fine, your highness," she replied as everyone in the room knelt before Celestia.

"As you were," she answered as everyone got back on all fours.

"Unfortunately," she continued, "The caterers were not available to attend this meeting. I hope the ones you're hiring are capable of holding up their end of the wedding or I'm sure we'll catch Tartarus from Cadance."

"She's usually much more easy going than this," sighed Celestia as she glanced down at her hooves.

"I imagine that every mare's wedding is stressful," offered the Seneschal helpfully.

"You're... surely right about that. I just hope that she's not being too..."

"Don't worry, your highness. We're all professionals here. I'm sure we'll meet our duties in a similar fashion."

Celestia nodded as she looked around the room. Then she noted the tome on the table. "Is that what she expects?" she asked as her horn glowed and the book opened. There was a lot of stuff written just on the first two pages alone.

"Yes," she replied, "I'm sure we'll do the best we can to... fulfill her wishes."

"I bumped into Cadance on the way out. She didn't look too happy. You were respectful to her, weren't you?"

"Of course we were."

"Good," she replied, "I'm sorry for any stress she's added to your work."

"Let's just say we're all glad we're working for you instead of her."

"That's kind of you to say."

...

Meanwhile

...

"That's some awesome tunes!" said Pinkie as a record played, "I'm sure they'll just love them at the wedding!" The walls were practically shaking from the volume of the wubs she was playing.

"I know!" replied Vinyl, "It's so great you got me this DJ job for a royal wedding reception!"

"You're my bestie!" she answered, "I can't let a job like this go to somepony who isn't as good as you!"

"Pity you couldn't get the cake job instead of that Spider-Mare character!"

"I'm sure that one day, Sugarcube Corner will be good enough for royal weddings!" she replied with a little smirk. After all, they were getting the job, but not the recognition for doing it... directly.

"I'm sure you're right about that!" agreed Vinyl.

"Besides," she added, "I still have a bunch of high school studies to worry about before I can handle a huge job like a royal wedding. Until then, I'm sure I can get by with the smaller parties I plan!"

She nodded. Then she said, "I hope Flash isn't giving you too much grief!"

"Oh," said Pinkie, "It's nothing I can't handle! After all, I've been learning to deal with him for a few years now!"

"Well you still don't deserve all the crap that he gives you!"

"That's one of the problems of being nerdy instead of being a jock!" she replied with a giggle.

"I guess so!"

Web of the Amazing Astounding Spectacular Ultimate Spider-Mare (Part One)

by neorenamon

'Sometimes, it's a pain being in the Canterlot School system'. That thought often crossed the mind of Pinkie Parker.

She felt bad that her aunt and uncle known as May and Ben Cake spent so much of their time and money raising her because of her parent's death in a train wreck when Pinkie was but a foal. They paid to move her to their humble home on the outskirts of Canterlot so she could have the foalhood they felt that she deserved.

She felt bad about 'mooching' off the Cakes, so she always spent more time helping them around their bakery known as Sugar-Cube Corner instead of looking for other foals to play with. When she wasn't helping them in the shop, she was attending the Canterlot Pre-School. She was one of the highest rated mares in the class.

It didn't help her any that most ponies thought she was out of her mind. She was routinely seen making comments to empty space. Her mane held things that no normal mane was supposed to. And she did things that were bordering on the physically impossible. Above all of that, Pinkie was very shy. She had no friends other than Aunt May and Uncle Ben.

Her grades excelled during her time at Canterlot Junior High. She studied Chemistry, Math and other Sciences all so she could make even better baked goods for her adoptive parents. Every baking based class was taking as well. All she wanted to do was help them keep their humble bakery open. She made a number of natural food dyes that the Cakes could make themselves cheaply without altering the basic taste of their cupcakes.

And now she was attending Canterlot High School for the first time. She was walking towards the gates of the Canterlot High School compound wondering how her first day was going to go.

"Morning Pinkie!" called a nearby mare.

She looked over to see that one of her few friends, Vinyl Stacey, was catching up with her. A mare she had known since her first day back in Pre-School. She was extroverted as much as Pinkie was introverted. She had a dream to be a radio DJ and play records all day long. Pinkie was jealous that she had such dedication and drive in what she wanted to do.

"Morning Vinyl," she replied.

"Cheer up!" she answered, "I hear that High School is going to be amazing! They have a radio station just for the School! I'm going to be the best DJ they ever had!"

"I'm sure you will," she replied as she looked away.

"You should really stop acting like you're going to a funeral Parker."

"I'm fine," she sighed, "Really."

"Well well," growled a nearby stallion, "If it isn't Puny Parker!"

"Just what I needed," she sighed. She didn't even have to look to know it was Eugene "Flash Sentry" Thompson talking to her.

"Give it a rest Flash," snapped Vinyl, "Don't you have a jock to itch?!"

"You could be hanging out with a cool stallion like me," he replied as he leered at Vinyl, "Part of the cool crowd. I can guarantee I'm going to be the captain of the Canterlot High School Hoof-ball Team."

"If I wanted to talk to somepony smarter than you," she snapped, "I'll talk to my record collection."

"Your loss babe," he replied as he headed off to meet the rest of his jock friends.

After he walked away, Vinyl said, "What a maroon. What an ignoranimus." When Pinkie didn't respond, she said, "So... think about what I told you yesterday?"

"About what?" she replied, "The school newspaper?"

"That's right! You're great with a camera and I'm sure the school paper needs a photographer!"

"After working at the shop, I don't have much time for..."

"Aw c'mon," she replied, "It won't take that much time. Perhaps if you do well, a real newspaper will give you a job. If you're worried about supporting the Cakes, work as a freelance photographer. Then you can takes new pictures when you feel like it."

"Well there is that," she answered. A small grin crossed her face.

"Ah-hah," she said, "I made you smile. Admit it."

"You make it sound like I never smile," she replied as she blew raspberries at Vinyl.

"When you smile like that," she giggled, "I have to note it in my Diary. If that's all I ever put in it, it would still be almost empty."

Pinkie was so busy speaking to Vinyl that she walked right into another mare's flanks.

"Hey!" she said as she spun around.

"I'm so sorry!" said Pinkie as she backed up.

"Watch where you're going sophomore," she replied as she turned to walk away.

"Wow..."

"I wouldn't mess with her," said Vinyl, "That's Octavia-Jane Watson. She's a senior."

"What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing... except she has a reputation..." she replied slowly.

"So..."

"And she's Flash Thompson's marefriend," she continued, "He has been known to... hurt those who get too close to her."

"But... we're both mares."

"Yeah," she replied, "but then Flash treats you like one of the stallions."

"I don't know why."

"Me neither," she said, "But here we are."

Pinkie looked up at the main doorways to the central school buildings. Then she looked up at the clouds gathering overhead.

"Think it will rain today?" she asked.

"As long as it comes while we're in class, I don't care."

...

Later in Science Lab

...

Pinkie found herself looking into a glass aquarium at a rather large spider. It was tucked away under a shelf full of various chemicals. Each one in a glass jar labelled by hand as to its contents.

"Do you find spiders interesting, Miss Parker?" asked a stallion's voice behind her.

"Oh yes teacher," she replied without looking back, "If this spider was a large as me, it could bench press a medium train engine!"

"Yes, they are quite strong for their size," replied the unicorn teacher.

"And the crawl on walls, spin webs and all kinds of cool things!"

"They are very efficient predators," he said, "but could you pay more attention to the demonstration I'm about to give?"

She turned about quickly as she said, "Oh, I'm sorry."

"That's all right Miss Parker," he sighed, "I'm sure a bright young mind like yours will one day be a great asset to science."

"Thanks," she replied as he walked away.

He walked to the podium at the head of the class as he went over his notes.

"Good morning class," he said in a monotone voice, "Today we're going to demonstrate how magic generates large amounts of electricity that makes out modern society possible."

"Snore," said Flash in a low tone to his jock friend.

"Are we boring you, Mister Thompson?" asked the teacher as he interrupted his own speech.

"Yes," he replied, "I could be practicing hoof-ball."

"Well if you want to keep playing hoof-ball, Mister Thompson, you better not fail this class."

"Please," he sniffed, "All I need is a 'D' to pass."

"Ah, I'm so glad you've set the bar so high."

"Whatever."

"Now where were we?" asked the teacher as he went back to his notes, "Ah yes. Magically generating electricity..." He held up two rods made of two different metals. Each one looked different. "These rods are made of two different metals." He pointed his hoof at one rod as he said, "This one is Copper." He pointed at the other rod and said, "This one is Zinc. Can any pony tell me..."

"When the rods are immersed in an acid like sulphuric acid," said Pinkie, "The zinc oxidizes releasing..."

"NEEEERRRD!" exclaimed Flash.

"Mister Thompson!" snapped the teacher, "One more outburst like that and you're having a little talk with the Principle!"

"At least I'm not a kiss flank like Parker," he replied.

"What was that?!"

"Nothing sir," he replied quickly.

"Yeah, I thought so," he replied, "Now..."

Suddenly the rain began to pour outside. They window was open enough that some of the rain was coming into the room. The teacher paused to go and close it.

"Just a second class," he said.

Pinkie turned to look at the spider again when she heard lightning strike right outside the window. Something exploded outside. Most likely the nearest tree. She felt a piece of wood hit her and drive her into the glass cage. Her body landed in the rocks and dirt as the shelf above collapsed. She was bathed in chemicals as the frightened spider bit her above the coronet. The heavy fumes were making her pass out even as she heard the teacher screaming, "Nurse!! Someone get the school nurse!!"

...

Pinkie woke up in a white bed which was enclosed in a white curtain. She looked around wondering what hospital she was in. Her head was swimming in fog and her hoof was hurting her pretty badly. She had bandages wrapped about her hoof and a few other parts of her body.

"Where am I?" she asked.

The curtain opened as a nurse said, "Oh, you're in the Canterlot Nurse's Office. I'm the school nurse: Nurse Tenderheart. How are you feeling?"

"My head is in a fog and my hoof hurts," she replied.

"Well I've cast some spells on you and there doesn't seem to be any long term damage."

"What happened?"

"It seems that lightning struck the tree outside the window. The tree exploded and you were struck by one of the limbs. Then you were thrown into the spider's terrarium where you were bit and got chemicals dumped on you."

"Was anyone else hurt?"

"Some minor scrapes and bruises," she replied, "Nothing major."

"Am I alright?"

"Oh," she replied, "I think we can send you home when the classes end for the day. You'll probably be totally fine. If you aren't feeling completely well, just come back tomorrow and see me."

"Oki-dokey-loki," she replied cheerfully.

"What?"

"Oh, it's nothing," she said quickly.

"Well since you're here," said the nurse, "You get the school lunch."

She nodded. The nurse left to get her lunch.

Then somepony else poked her head in. "So this is where you've been slacking off Parker," said Vinyl, "I can't say I've ever done anything so radical just to get out of my classes."

"Oh yeah," she replied, "I commanded the lightning to strike so I could get out of class. Of course I'm secretly the Thunder-pony Thor."

Vinyl laughed before she said, "You can be quite funny when you want. I'll get you some more friends here if it's the last thing I do."

"I prefer to think I have quality friends rather than a lot of them."

She came over and hugged Pinkie as she said, "Oh... I don't know what I'm going to do with you!" Then she paused as she said, "Whoa... have you been working out? You feel more... buff."

"I was wondering when that would get some results," she replied.

"Well don't overdo it," she said back, "You'd look awful as some kind of jock-mare."

The two just giggled.

"You shouldn't stay much longer, Miss Stacey," said the nurse as she came in, "Lunch time is almost over for you."

"Don't worry about me," she replied as she turned to leave, "I'm pretty fast and nimble."

"See ya later Vinyl!" called Pinkie after her.

...

The rest of the day passed without incident, the nurse stopping by a few more times to cast spells as well as check her heart and breathing. Each test turned up no problems. No one else stopped by to see her. The nurse released her about half an hour after the last class had let out for the day. But in spite of catching a couple of hours of sleep, her head still felt really weird. The nurse gave her a couple of Aspirin and told her to call her in the morning.

"Well this has been quite the day," she said, "It almost feels like I'm being set up for some kind of super-hero origin story." She paused to giggle at herself. "Like I'm that lucky," she replied.

But in her distracted state, she had wandered onto train tracks while a train was coming right at her. Even though it was a good hundred yards away, there was no way it was going to stop before it could hit her. And apparently the engineer didn't see her as the train wasn't trying to brake or slow down at all.

Suddenly something like an alarm went off in her head. She jumped back to get out of the train's way as it thundered by. By the time she knew what happened, she was looking down on the train from the side of a ten-story apartment building just beneath the roof.

"What-da-what?!" she asked, "How did I get up here?!" Then she looked at herself as she added, "Am I sticking to the side of the building?! This is SO CRAZY!!"

She crawled over the top and onto the roof. It seemed totally natural that she could stick to any surface and let go of it without any problems. Her strength and reflexes just felt like they were off the charts.

"I'm like some kind of... amazing spider-pony!"