Cheese Sandwich.... eats a cheese sandwich!!!
As Cheese Sandwich was walking in the desert with boneless #2 riding him, he came across a building. A very strange building at that. It was made of timber, something ponies didn't normally use to build things. He walked to the entrance where he saw a sign. A very rusty sign.
"The sandwich shack." He said to himself, reading the sign.
'I haven't eaten in a while.... Maybe I should grab a quick bite and go.' He thought to himself, walking in the building.
"Well, we don't get many visitors 'round here." The stallion at the register said, getting a menu out.
"What can I get ya?" The stallion said, handing Cheese Sandwich the menu. Cheese Sandwich looked at the menu, choosing what to get. Then he saw it.
"I'm going to get a cheese sandwich." He said, setting boneless #2 down at a table. The stallion nodded, heading to the kitchen. Cheese Sandwich was deep in thought.
'How would I taste? Do I taste good? Am I as greasy as I think I am? If so, does that mean my body is unhealthy? Or am I unhealthy to eat? I'm not sure anyone would eat a pony..... Maybe? There are cannibals in Equestria. What if I get taken by cannibals while I'm walking through the desert? I wonder how they would eat me..... Grilled or roasted? Or smoked? Would they cook me alive?' He was horrified at the thought of being cooked alive.
'I doubt that they'll cook me alive...... Maybe? They'd probably kill me first...' The stallion walked up to Cheese Sandwich, with a platter.
"Here is your cheese sandwich sir." He put the plate down, revealing a sandwich. It was perfectly golden, on both sides. It shined like gold under the eyes of Cheese Sandwich.
'Forget Pinkie Pie, I think I've found my new love!' He thought. (Play 'what is love')
'Oh my god...... Such beautiful crust..... The cheese so buttery and melted...." He thought to himself, drooling at the thought of eating it.
'Such buttery goodness must be savored..... I can't eat this just yet!' He thought to himself.
"Excuse me, waiter!" The stallion rolled his eyes.
"Yes?" Cheese Sandwich looked at his cheese sandwich.
"May you cut this into smaller pieces?" The waiter nodded, levitating a knife to the table with his horn. He started to cut the sandwich into smaller pieces, until it was split into twenty.
"Voila! Do you need anything else?" He asked in an obviously sarcastic voice. Cheese Sandwich shook his head.
"Thank you, my good sir!" Cheese said, a smile on his face. He looked at the buttery goodness once more.
'Oh, you touch my shalala....' He thought, picking up the first piece of the cheese sandwich. About to place it into his mouth, the waiter walked up with a piece of paper.
"What is that?" Cheese asked. The stallion rolled his eyes.
"The bill." Cheese looked to the bill.
"148 bits?!?" Cheese asked, confused.
"Yes. Pay when ready." He said, walking back to the register. Cheese didn't have that many bits! What would he do?!? Steal it? Maybe....
'Anyways..... I need you....' He said, looking to the bit of Cheese Sandwich in his hand.
"Are you gonna pay sir?" He looked behind himself, seeing the waiter.
"After I eat!" He quickly lied. He looked at the sandwich once more. He put the piece of sandwich in his mouth, chewing it with delight.
"Mmmmmmmmmmmm" he said, the waiter rolling his eyes in response.
"Can I get a bag for this?" He asked, looking to boneless number two.
"Yes." The waiter put the bits of sandwich into a box.
"Now that'll be 148 bits." He said, handing the box to Cheese.
"Nope!" Cheese said, running out the door.
"It's not like this happened before..." The waiter sat down.
"I should've gone to college...."
Cheese stopped running when the shack was out of sight.
"Are we good?" Cheese asked boneless number two. It squeaked.
"Okay, good." He said, looking at the sandwich. He sat down.
'It's about time that me and you got personal....' He took out the box, opening it. The bits glowed in the sunset.
"I'm glad we get to talk.... alone...." He said, looking to the sandwich, until he saw that boneless number two was still on his back.
"Can we PLEASE have some privacy?" He asked, bucking boneless number two off of his back.
"Now.... What were we up to?" The moon shined over the perfectly golden buttery and cheesy goodness.
"I can't eat you.... you're too good for that...." He whispered to his sandwich bits.
"Goodnight, my sweet..." He said, dozing off to sleep.
He woke up, a closed box next to him.
"Hello my sweet...." He said, opening the box. Nothing was there.
"What the buck?!?" He screamed. He looked around, making sure that nobody heard him.
"Where did you go...." He cringed.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" He screamed into the sky. He looked over, seeing boneless number two. He picked him up, seeing sandwich crumbs all over it.
"Why you little......" He strangled boneless number two and brought out number three.
Meanwhile behind a rock....
"Oh, you silly stallion!" Pinkie whispered to herself, hearing the sounds of violent squeaking. He took out the remaining sandwich bits.
"Let's see if you're as good as you say you are!" She popped them into her mouth.
"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!" She got out a fork and knife, and looked towards Cheese Sandwich, who was taking out boneless number three.
"I..... Must......... Have........ More!!!"
Author's Note
What the fu-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
