Author's Note

Warning: I completely went to town and bought a carton of milk on this fic, so this shit's edgy, like really edgy, hell it's edgier than a fucking rhombicosidodecahedron. Now, it does have some nudity... HOWEVER, it doesn't cross the border of being porn, well at least not fappable porn. (You can try, though!) The characters are nothing like how they're suppose to be, and there are ass-play jokes out the ass (Hardy Har Har, I made a funny!)... So yeah... You know, you've been warned. (Story takes place before their banishment for those nit-picky scrotum slappers who might harass sick-headed people like me for info about the crack fic in the future... Also I will warn you a THIRD time, if you are NOT here for a lot of sick humor with half-assed but 'eh'-ish plot, turn back around before someone get's hurt... Naw, I'm just yankin' your chain, all are welcome to this cluster-fuck story! Also, if you think my last crack fic Sunshine and Lollipops... with Ponies. Now in Theatres. was crazy, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret... Shh! No no, come closer...closer..... Just a liiiiittle bit closer now... Yeah, perfect, now let me whisper into your ear- THAT SHIT'S FUCKING TAME COMPARED TO WHAT I CAN REALLY DO!) This time though, you better bite the fucking pillow, because I'm going in dryer than a nuns hymen! Yeah, I broke out of the parentheses! Why!? Because fuck you all!.... Remember to fill the comment section with your loving praise so I may have sweet dreams tonight! And remember... No matter what you think from this just remember. I am a heterosexual... Yes, even with all the anal jokes I am physically straight. But mentally, I am a fashion... Oh my would you look at the time! I suppose I've kept you all waiting with my nonsensical rambling long enough, so without further delay, let the insanity... COMMENCE!

The Legend of Mike and the Really Stupid Crack Fic with some Surprisingly Decent Plot and Really Fucked-Up Morals

The city of Canterlot, a shining example of the fancy life in Equestria. This city has the stuffiest of citizens who live life to the fullest, with fake friends and expensive wine that you could buy at a Wal-Mart for ten dollars. They used words like 'eccentric' or 'exquisite' to not only repel real friends but also attract tax collectors and vacuum salesmen. It's a wonder why they believe they're better than other ponies. Hell, I'd imagine that they have difficulty explaining why they're better because their voices are always so muffled from their heads being so far up their asses, but who am I to judge?

This story is about a human, a human who is trapped in eternal torment... A human, named Mike.

"Mike? Could you be a dear and search the archives for me? I request an erotic BDSM book."

........ Oh, sorry. Let me correct myself, a human 'slave'. Yes, you see why he's in eternal torture? Oh, and he's not serving a pony either, he's serving a Siren named Adagio. He and the rest of his kind lived in harmony with the ponies, but three Siren sisters arrived and threatened to do some ne'er-do-welling in Canterlot. So, like the pussy Celestia was, she caved and gave up her crown.

Now, there were two types of people in this horrible totalitarian society, the ones who rebelled and were forced to do whatever their Siren Mistress' twisted heart's desired, and the ones who actually listened to them because they didn't have piss for brains like the rebels. People like our protagonist, for example, actually heeded their command because he'd rather pick slavery over sex slavery, and it wasn't the pleasurable kind either...

"Mike? Do I have to get the coat-hanger out again?"

"Just hold on! Your fucking smut shelf is taller than Aria's shish kabob strap-on!"

Yep, definitely not the pleasurable kind... Hell, I heard Aria's killed a few... Anyway, our protagonist is white with short brown hair and green eyes. He wears an ugly orange jacket with a big 'A' on the back, signaling he was a higher ranked slave and Adagio's hand-picked personal assistant. Yep, ever since day one he's been kissing Adagio's ass to earn her liking, after a few months he was taken out of Aria's territory (the other reason he was sucking-up to Adagio) and given the ugly cloak. Of course, like any miserable slave given power, Mike cranked his asshole level to eleven as soon as everything was finalized so he couldn't be sent back... Oh, and he's screaming because he's in another room, in case you were curious.

"..... Mike, what did I tell you about using that kind of language?"

"Well mother, you told me if I talked to you like that you'd rape me! Then I told you to go fuck a Sea Urchin and that you can't rape the willing! Which, as promised, was followed by very angry sex where you called me daddy as you-!"

"Mike!..... I didn't ask for a full report." Adagio said, clearly losing her patience.

"And I didn't ask for your weird fishy vagina, but we don't always get what we want! Now what fucking book do you wanna masturbate to!? I gotta five o' clock meeting with the nearest shitter, so unless you want literal shit stories I suggest you hurry up!"

"Just... Pick something for me." She ordered, then a book flew through the door and landed in front of Adagio. She used her magic to pick it up. "....... The Hungry Hungry Caterpillar?... Really?"

"It's one of those pornos you can read in public, It even has pop-up pictures!"

"Pop-ups?"

"Yeah! Like on page three, he's eating his girlfriend! Not very arousing because it just looks like two bean pods having a stroke but it's a pop-up picture!"

Adagio turned to page three and saw the Hungry Hungry Catterpillar eating- "Oh my god, that's cannibalism!" She closed the book and tossed it out the window. "What the hell, Mike!?"

"Ahahaha! Didn't expect that did ya!? Ahahahaha!"

"T-This isn't a joke! I mean, what the hell!?"

"Actually it IS a joke, because I'm laughing! See? Ahahaha!... Ooh, this looks interesting... The Little Whore that could?"

"That's it you sick fuck, we're going to see my sister." Adagio used her magic to retrieve him from the archives, he was reading 'The Little Whore that could' as he floated to her.

"..... Huh, guess the little whore really could." He tossed the book to the side. "So you said what now?"

"Oh, nothing... How do you feel about being sodomized?"

"We're going to see Aria, aren't we?"

Adagio said nothing, the two levitated down the hall and into Aria's section which was built with obsidian blocks and had various bone piles scattered here and there. Really gives visitors that 'escape while you can' feel. The two came upon a huge door with skull door knobs and a dead pony hanging from a noose to the left... No, it wasn't a prop, it was an actual dead pony that reeked of rotting flesh. Hard to tell who it was because it was skinned. Now there WAS a pony-skin rug in front of the door but who's to say it was that pony's skin? Oh well, back to the door! There was a blood-soaked banner above the door that read 'Hell Sweet Hell' in rotting intestines, and usually you would hear the screams of many, many victims of her wrath, but it was quiet today... There were also many torture devices hanging from the ceiling, like bear-traps, cat o' nine whips, brimstone cages, and a few others that she invented herself. All in all this door was simply inviting, '10/10 would play again' by IGN reviews!

Now, Mike used to be scared shitless of Aria and her... Creepiness. Then again, everyone was. But he got to know her through their common interest in Chess, and through Mike's punishments, and she wasn't bad once you got to know her... Still creepy though, but Adagio claims it's just a phase.

Adagio knocked on the door and it opened, an eye peeked from the crack of the door. "What?" Aria asked. "..... Oh, hey sis." The eye drifted to Mike, who was doing flips in his levitation bubble to entertain himself. "... Hello, Michael..."

"How ya doing, Aria." He said, not giving a singular fuck about his surroundings. "As you can see, I'm in trouble."

"Again?" Aria asked in a dry voice. Not dry as in stoic, dry as in sickly. "What did you do this time?"

"I was being a Fuck-Boy and tricked my beautiful mistress here into reading bloody cannibalism porn." He said, halting his spinning

"Yes, I believe he has crossed the line... Again..." Adagio explained. "I want you to do your worst..."

"........... Okay." There was the click of a lock, and the door opened up enough for Mike to fit inside. "Do you want the body-bag now or later?"

"Don't kill him, just... Do your thing, I guess." Adagio levitated away, and Aria stared at Mike as he fell to the floor.

"............. Michael." Aria said. "As you can clearly tell, I have strep-throat today and cannot tend to destroying your asshole at the moment. Go see Sonata for punishment so Adagio will be happy."

"Sonata?... I've never met her before." He's definitely heard that name before, Adagio constantly warns him to never go to Sonata's half of the castle. The reasons why are unknown because he didn't fucking ask/care.

"You can't miss her, she's down the hall and to the left in the colorful hallway... Best wishes to you, and try to come back alive." Aria's door slammed shut, and then locked back up again.

"Strep, huh? Poor girl..." Mike felt genuinely sorry for her, thinking about her condition as he walked down the obsidian slabs that absorbed the warmth from his feet.... You know, despite Aria being Aria Mike thinks about whether leaving her territory was a good idea, sure he and his ass were clouded by fear back then, but back then his ass could still clench itself shut... Hell, back then it also couldn't take Aria's bloody fake dick without bleeding and crying like a little bitch. Eat your heart out Mr. Slave!... You know, this is what people in the psychological field call Stockholm syndrome, little known fact by the by. See, it's where the victim... You know what, just google it you lazy fuck, I have a crack fic to narrate.

To Mike, Aria was the closest thing to a friend he had in this god forsaken world, and though it's sad to think about, the feeling is more than likely mutual... Yes, a real tear-jerker isn't it? Hell, it was sad enough to make my dick cry, and that hard-headed fucker never cries.

"Damn, and I was hoping to visit her today too... Fuck it, I'll go see her after Sonata does whatever the hell she's gonna do to me, a surprise visit never hurt." Mike journeyed down the hall and followed Aria's directions, arriving at a pink and yellow hallway. He arrived at a large door that had a huge rainbow arch across it, he opened the gay pride door and was greeted to an empty room with a large throne. A blue siren sat at the throne, smiling as Mike entered. "Um, are you Sonata?"

"Yes." She answered, having no malice in her voice... The lack of malice disgusted Mike for some reason. "Do you have a reason for entering my throne room, Fuck-Face?"

"I- Wait, what?"

"You heard me!" Her voice still sounded happy, which made this conversation offensive yet cute... Oh, and mildly disturbing as a bonus! "Unless you're here for play-time or punishment than get the fuck out of my throne room before I make you my bitch!"

"Aria's sick so she told me to go here." He answered.

"Ohh... Well that changes everything!"

"So what, you gonna plow my ass or something?"

"What? No, I would never do that, Silly!" She glowed white and her form changed. Mike has seen Aria do this many times, she would transform into a human so she could fit the strap-on onto herself, but why is Sonata doing it? "Hey, you're Aria's Fuck-Slut, right?" Sonata began shrinking down. "For a Fuck-Slut, you sure do get along with her!" The glow faded, and a cute blue-skinned girl stood in the Siren's place, wearing nothing but cargo shorts and a bra. "But you're in my world now, bitch." Sonata's cute smile turned into a psychotic grin, she had a chef's knife in her hand. "Hey, let's play a game." She proposed, scaring Mike a tad. "You have thirty seconds before I start chasing you... If I catch you," She pointed the blade at her own crotch. "I'm gonna cut-off your scrotum and use the new bloody hole as a vagina, then I'll give myself a dick with a special spell and break it in!" She then pointed it at her psychotic face. "Then, if you're still alive, I'll mend every injury I caused, including your balls....." She lowered the knife to her side. "And I'll let you go, with aaaall the memories you wish you could repress. But no matter how much you wish them away, the memories... they never leave... No matter how much you silence them with a knife to the throat, they still gurgle... Reminding you that you can't forget them no matter how much YOU TRY!!!" Sonata started going on a traumatic episode, pacing back and forth and fidgeting in different ways. She was possibly at the brink of going on a psychotic rampage. "THEY'LL NEVER LEAVE YOU ALONE! THEY STAIN YOUR BRAIN WITH THE BLOOD OF THE NEVER ENDING NIGHTMARE! NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU TRY AND END EVERYTHING THE NIGHTMARE DOESN'T WANT YOU TO LEAVE IT ALL ALONE!..." Sonata finally calmed down enough to stop shouting. "But than again... I don't want it to stop."

Mike, along with (I assume) every sane fucking brony reading this, including myself, was extremely disturbed. "..... Sooo... What if I win?"

This seemed to snap Sonata back into reality. "Oh? Well I've never had a winner before..... Ohhh, I got an idea! I'll fuck your weiner until you scream for me to stop!" She giggled at the thought, then she gained a sultry gaze. "Is that tempting enough for you?" Mike was already out the door, scared out of his fucking mind and running like all hell broke loose. Sonata licked her lips. "Mmmm, I just love it when my prey is this eager, makes catching them all the more satisfying..." She tossed the knife away, than held her chin in thought. "Hmm..... Now, where did I put Mr. Buzz-Buzz?"

(Hall Way)

"No! Fuck! No! Fuck that shit!" Mike was shouting as he ran for his fucking life. "Absolutely not! No fucking way! Just NO!" Now, Mike wasn't just blindly running to god knows where, he was running directly to his mistress... "God dammit! Adagio fucking Dazzle, control your insane fucking sister!" He saw Adagio's door on the horizon, a ray of hope! "Fucking YES!" He body-checked the door, failing to break it down and injuring himself. "Adagio! Open! The door!"

"I'm busy!" She shouted back. "Wait, Mike!? Why aren't you being babysat by Aria!?"

"Open! The! God! Damn! DOOR!" He emphasized each word by slamming the door with his fist.

"Oh! There's Mr. Buzz-Buzz!" A buzzing could be heard, which made Mike panic.

"ADAGIO DAZZLE IF YOU HAVE A SHRED OF PITY FOR ME THAN OPEN THE GOD FORSAKEN DOOR!"

"I said I'm busy!"

"Gh, fuck it!" He knew the doors were large to accommodate a Siren's massive height, but were also made of thin wood, so with a good tackle he could bust a hole in one with some effort. He backed away a bit, than charged at the door with all his might. He flung himself at the wooden frame, successfully busting a hole in the door and flying inside with some cuts and plenty of splinters. "FUCK!... Ah... Owwy Five-Thousand... Ow." He shakily got to his feet and bear witness to Adagio... In her human form... Fully naked and tied to some sort of BDSM limb spreader/restrainer, leaving her completely incapable of covering herself. "....... Uh..."

"Y-You!" Adagio started blushing hard, than turned her head away. "Don't... Don't look at me!"

"Kinda hard not to, Fifty Shades of Blush." He shot, smirking as he did.

"Shut up!" She yelled in embarrassment, trying to close her legs but failing due to the leather binds. Her blush deepened a bit as she started to tremble. "Don't... Fucking...Look!"

"What the fuck?" He questioned, not really sure why Adagio looked like she was constipated. "Are you like, trying to take a shit or somethi-"

"Ah-!..... AAUGH!~"

Mike said nothing for a moment. "..... Did you just-"

"Nuh!~ N-...No!"

"You did... And you still are." He accused with an uncaring voice, sure he should be surprised like 'Oh, I'm so sorry for barging in like that!' or 'What the hell is wrong with you, you fucking pervert!' but he's been through a lot of shit today... He got an erection from it though. "Alright, while your... Um..."

"OH YESSS!!!~"

"'Sigh' And here I am without a fucking camera..... Wait." Mike took out his phone and started recording Adagio as she thrashed and moaned. She saw the phone, and the mere thought that she was being recorded like this... Made her a little... Um, let's just say she liked it. "Christ, guess there was a reason you read those stupid books, fucking exhibitionist pervert. Oh well, I'll just save this nice little video for future blackmail and masturbatory material."

"Ohhh~... Oh my..." Adagio calmed down enough to piece together what he just said. "W-Wait a minute, wha-"

Mike showed her his phone, than he hit play. 'AUGH!~ OH GOOD GOD, YES!~' She stared at it, seeing herself act like that on film... She was ashamed. "A proud Siren... Reducing herself to a flat-chested pervert." Mike spat, enjoying every sweet second of tormenting her. Normally he isn't a sadist, but that was when Celestia still ruled, and in this time and age he's simply a broken toy held together by cheap tape and used gum; (mentally) broken, fragile, and definitely used... Sex jokes.

"..... Tch, W-were't you here for something else besides making a fool of me!?"

"Your psychotic sister's out for my balls, literally." He explained, making Adagio groan.

"Ugh... Dammit Sonata... Look, I'll make her leave you alone, just untie my binds." She promised, sounding more pissed at her sister than Mike. "And delete that video, too!"

"No." He answered. "The deal is that you help me and I won't show this to Aria."

"You motherfucker..." Adagio sneered.

He shrugged. "Hey, I could do worse."

"....." She knew he could do worse... A lot worse. "... Alright, what do I have to-"

"Oh don't worry, when the time comes I'll let you know." He informed, pocketing his phone. "If you steal my phone, I'll tell Aria all this-"

'Buzzzz!'

"Oh, fuck!" He quickly undid her binds. "Now stop your insane sister!"

'slap!'

Adagio slapped him. "That's for recording me!" She grabbed him by his shoulders. "And this," She kissed him deeply. "Is for recording me..." She stared at him with a look of longing.

"Uh..... N-never mind. Now go control your sister!" He said over the loud buzzing.

"Hm, so she brought Mr. Buzz-Buzz? She must really like you, than." Adagio commented, as a saw blade pierced her door and slowly cut across the frame. "Oh my, she REALLY likes you!"

"WILL YOU STOP HER ALREADY!?"

The blade retracted, than she punched through the door, next to Mike's hole. She peaked through the hole, her blood-shot eye staring directly at it's prey. "Heeeeere's SONNY!... Oh, hi Adagio!"

"Sonata, leave this one alone. He doesn't want to play with you." Adagio said in a calm tone.

"Reeeally?..... Okay!" She head-butted the door, making the hole she made earlier larger. "I loved playing with him, he's really good at playing 'run from the homocidal maniac'."

"I'm sure he is, you even got out Mr. Buzz-Buzz." Adagio pointed out. "And nearly destroyed my door with it as well."

"Yep!" She used Mike's hole to show them Mr. Buzz-Buzz, which was a bloody buzz-saw painted with a yellow and black pattern similar to a honey bee. "It's too bad he won, I really wanted his testicles... Oh well, I'll just fill my part and rape him one night." She looked at Mike with innocence plastered on her face. "The best part is you'll never know when it'll happen... And no one will hear you scream." She retracted her head and went about her day again, humming to herself.

"Good fucking God... What the hell's wrong with her?"

"It's... Let's just say it's not one of the best decisions I had made." She looked at him with that gaze of lust again. "But, now that we're... alone.~"

"Um... You know, any other day I'd be glad to fuck, but after meeting your psychotic sister..."

"I understand... But just so you know, you don't know what you're missing.~" Adagio turned and walked to her dresser, swaying her hips a bit more than normal. "You can go now, Sonata will leave you alone."

"Right, I... Right." He exited through the hole Sonata created. "Keep it together Mike... Make her work for it." He didn't see Sonata anywhere, so that's good... But now what? "..... Guess I'll go see Aria, see what she's doing and shit." So he went to see Aria, but than realizing she was sick. "Shit, that's right, Aria's feeling shitty today... Fuck it, I'm gonna go cheer her up."

Yeah, cheering Aria up. Good fucking luck, Mike... No seriously, good fucking luck, last time I tried cheering her up she kicked me square in the balls and called me a sorry excuse for a human being... No, wait, that was my birthday. Shit, what'd she do to me when I tried cheering her up?... My point is he has a better chance at breaking a concrete slab with his flaccid human dick than cheering up the purple fucking antichrist with a vagina... Hm, that's rather harsh now that I think of it... Fuck it, I've made Adagio an exobitionist pervert and Sonata a happy psychotic train wreck, Aria the antichrist it is!

Mike had navigated the halls and found the blood-splotched obsidian floor, fresh blood splotches I might add, which meant the body bags from today were incarserated in the furnace... Remember when I said she's killed a few? Yeah, I fucking lied, she kills at least one person a week at minimum. Today was Sunday, which meant the used trash had to be thrown away, hence the blood..... Whatever, Mike wasn't fucking afraid, he was too broken to comprehend that the situation he's about to get himself into is potentially a one-way ticket to hell... Or, he just knows that the main characters in stories only suffer, never die... Usually.

He opened the door as far as the chain lock would allow, and squeezed through the gap. "Aaaariaaa!" Another human came running, looked at Mike, and grabbed him.

"Listen man, you gotta run, now!"

"Who the fuck are you?" Mike questioned.

"No time! Aria's after me, I gotta-"

'twack!'

Mike bashed him on the side of the head, knocking the man out in one strike. He was malnourished, so he went down relatively easy. "News flash, asshole. There's no fucking escape from this asylum." Mike left him there, and walked through the torch-lit halls while ignoring the pleas of suffering victims... Trust me man, you go through this hall enough times the begging and shit starts to get more annoying than pitiful, desensitization does that..... "Aaaariaaaa! It's Miiiiike!"

"Behind you, Michael." Mike turned around and looked up, Aria hovered over him in her siren form. "Now, what do you want?"

"Still sick, huh?"

Aria levitated a bloody rag to her nose and blew the drainage out, tinting the blood with traces of yellow. "Very....." The rag combusted into flame, then was tossed away. "Now, why do you bother me, Michael?"

"Well; Sonata nearly sliced me down south, I got blackmail on Adagio, and I shit myself when Sonata broke down the door to chop me..."

"........."

"..... I ditched the underwear off-screen." Mike said.

"Wait, off-screen?"

"My point is, Aria, I'm here to cheer you up!" Mike cheered, ignoring her original question. "I'll go through the depths of hell and back if it'll make you feel like indifferent Aria instead of miserable Aria, and since I'm already in hell I've already fulfilled half of that!"

"..... Michael, I appreciate the offer, but... Well, I doubt you could help." Aria nudged him out of the way with her serpentine tail. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some business to tend to."

Mike grabbed her tail. "Come on, Aria! Gimme a chance!"

"I could kill you in eighty-six different ways using nothing but your own penis." She warned, glaring at him.

Of course, he was used to it. "Come on, one chance!"

Aria exhaled deeply. "Fine. What did you have in mind?"

"Remember last week when you shoved a kazoo up my ass?"

"Michael, no." She ordered."I absolutely forbid you to-"

Mike bent over, and started to (badly) play Camp-town Races with his ass kazoo... He finished the first verse of the song, and when he did everything was quiet. "Eh? Am I good or am I good?"

"..... Michael, you're lucky that I like you, otherwise I would have skinned you and left you to hang in my gallows... Alive."

"But it was funny, wasn't it?"

"..... Shut-up." She'd never admit it, but it was really funny seeing him play ass-kazoo. The concept itself sounds impossible, and it probably is, but I have a counter argument for any present and future arguments asked.

'Take your fancy-shmancy logic and bludgeon it with a fucking donkey dong, if you've lasted this long than you know that logic is a joke in this universe.' Still wanna try rustling my jimmies? I'll throw a potato at you. Yeah, doesn't sound that bad, right? Well I'm chucking this thing at Mach 10 because fuck you and fuck physics, and by my calculations this potato will rip your torso right off your body and/or obliterate it into various sized chunks of flesh and bone... So yeah, you know, shut your mouth... Fuck me, I started ranting again, back to the story!

Mike saw through her stubborn nature, he knew he'd won. "Knew it." He looked around. "Hm... Not too many mutilated bodies."

"I've been a little preoccupied with suffering as of recent, so I've been taking it easy." She explained, wrapping the end of her tail around Mike's hand. He walked along side her, listening to Aria with his hand gently wrapped in her tail. "It's actually been very boring around here, my lust for sadism has... Faded, ever since I became sick."

"So you have nothing to do?"

"Basically." She answered. "I have no desire to cause misery, so I've been a little frustrated due to being unable to vent my stress. I know it's hard to see, but this frustration is killing me."

"Well, it'll end eventually." Mike reassured.

"..... I know that, but I fear that my lust for sadism will die along with it." Aria said with some sadness in her voice. "What am I to do if it comes to that?"

"I wouldn't worry about it, Aria." Mike said. "I doubt you'd change your ways so easily, but if it does come to that than you'll just have to live with it."

"..... I see." She nodded to herself. "If I did change, would you still be my..." She started to struggle. "M-my... Fre-... Frie...nd?"

......... She's not used to using nice words. She has no trouble with things like 'thank you' or 'excuse me', but mainly because that's being polite.

"First off, that was incredibly cute." This made her blush, but her expression never changed. She's a soldier to the bloody, bitter end. "Secondly, of course I'll still be your friend."

"... You're... Very k-kind, Michael." She said with some struggle.

"You don't need to hurt yourself like that, you know." He said.

"..... Right." We arrived at her room, she let go of Mike's hand. "Well Michael, you should be on your way. I... I have some thinking to do."

"You sure?"

She nodded.

"Alright, Aria. Now get some shut-eye and take it easy on yourself, and drink some honey, it'll clear your throat up like that." He snapped his fingers at the word 'that'.

Aria nodded. "Right... And again, thank you for the visit."

"It's no trouble, man. You need anything, you know where to find me." Mike said, knowing full-well that Aria's room was a place he could not go into. He's seen peeks of her room though, and she had a cool fucking bed. It was a giant hanging cage with a barred-door and everything, painted black to make it even cooler. Of course, that's all he's seen of it, and of her room.

Aria unlocked the door (via a tumbler system that had to be manipulated using magic) and opened it up. There was her cage-bed across from the door, with some of the sheets hanging from the large bar gaps. "I'll see you tomorrow at breakfast, Michael." The door slammed shut, and the sounds of the locking system activated, then stopped when the door was completely locked.....

Mike shrugged and walked out of the torture chamber. "It's getting late, I should get ready to go to bed..."

Aria was in her bed (human form, her siren form is too big for the cage) simply thinking..... Many things flew by in her head, most of them about life and the point of it. But more specifically, the point of life for those who do not have an eternal heart like her. She thought about whether her immortality was a curse or not, she'd live forever but... Her friend wouldn't. She also thought about if she DID lose interest in killing others, what would she do then? It's not like she'd just die one day and end her legacy, she was immortal... "..... He said he lived in hell... Does that mean I do to?"......... Maybe this is what hell is? You live with nothing to do, unable to die... Certainly sounded like hell to her... Of course, her thoughts weren't all bad. "..... He said I was cute..." Just saying that made her blush. "He said I was cute..." She... Smiled. "He said I was cute... He said I was cute..." The smile grew the more she said it, both in size and in... Creepiness. "Ehehehehe... Ahahahahaha! He said I was cute!" She hugged her bed sheets, trying to repress a shreak of excitement. "I hate myself for loving him, but... He's just so considerate of me, so sweet and funny and caring!" She reached into her pillow case and pulled out a framed photo.

It was Mike, taking a picture of himself with a toothy, wild grin. Aria was in the background, sulking as she always did. "Mikey... Everyone always judges me, they think I'm just an emotionless rock..... But not you.~" Aria hugged the photo, squeezing it with all the power her current form could give. "Oh Mikeeeey! I love you, I love you, I love you!" She took the picture out from her breast and began licking it. "My little Mikey, I'll do anything to be with you... Ehehe, and I mean anything." She started licking the photo again, slathering the glass with spit. Her eyes snapped open and she hid the picture in the covers."No!... I need to control myself." She regained herself, being able to vent made her feel so much better, but she needed to control herself. "Ugh, the fact that I can't have you frustrates me so so much..... I'm afraid that I'll lose myself if I can't kill!" Aria said to the covers, then she turned in the sheets. "Not like you'll love me back, I'm a monster... Inside, and out." She sighed heavily. "Guess he was right after all. We're already in hell... All of us are." Her heart started to swell-up. "Emotions... Why am I cursed with the ability to feel?" She started to tear-up. "I... I don't want you to leave me... Because you'll never come back!" She hugged the picture frame again. "Don't go... Please..." She kissed the frame, repeatedly. After a few dozen pecks or so, she held the picture to her heart. "I love you... So, so much... I love you, Mikey..... I'll always love you..." The tears stained her pillow. "... I'll..... I'll miss you... My love..." Eventually, sleep ended her torment, and through her slumber she never let go of the picture... But even though the tears stopped, her heart still cries.

Mike finally made it out of the labyrinth that was Aria's torture chambers, then he heard a distant scream coming from them... He smiled. "Guess she got her spark back." He nodded to himself. "Good for her..."

......... Yep, I lied to every single one of you bastards. No anti-christ here, we get Gasai Aria, sad yandere siren! Wanna bitch about it? I gotta fresh bag of potatoes ready for potato on brony contact, fucking try me assholes!

Anyways! Mike was happy that Aria had gotten her spark back, she was now happy once more. So, with his feelings of accomplishment, he felt he deserved a good night's sleep. It wasn't long before he found his room, which was down the hall from Adagio's own. His room had a large bed (a blessing in this world), a nightstand with a lantern, and a picture of Aria next to the lantern. "Well Mike, time to hit the sack." He got into bed, tired and ready to sleep. He turned the lantern off and darkness enveloped the room..... The lantern relit itself, and when the room lit up he saw Sonata at the foot of the bed holding the lantern, just staring at him with an innocent smile.

"........."

He didn't scream, he didn't panic, he just... Stared back at her.

"........... Weiner." She pounced at him like an ally cat. Her eyes shrank and her smile widened. "Ehehe... Weeeiiineeeer....." She covered his mouth before he could call for help. "Shhh..... Don't wanna wake the Wardens..." Mike bit her hand... This only seemed to excite the dimented psychopath "Oooh, I love it when my prey fights back! Makes the kill so much more... satisfying."

And so, Mike was raped..... Nothing really new there, but it wasn't Aria this time so... Yeah, the fucking end......... You losers can go now, this seriously is the end... Seriously go, really creeping me the fuck out.

(Author's Fucking Notes II: The Search for More Word Count)

Heeeey!... So, that happened. Anyways, I really had a lot of fun writing this little train-wreck, it's been so long since I've been able to just go nuts with the other stories I've been writing. I've finally told myself to go all-out and... I still failed at it, but this is pretty damn close to my 'all-out' mode. I resisted, because first of all my crack has a fine line that I try not to cross... Fucking shut-up! It's not my ass-crack you immature piece of shit! Secondly, if I actually went 'all-out' than you could actually masturbate to this shit... And I tested that myself, thank you very much. Trying to jerk-it to this shit only left me frustrated and unsatisfied, like watching porn and then the video cuts to fucking Rick-Roll. You hear me you sorry sonova bitch!? I'll fucking find you, and I'll 'Rick-Roll' your sorry ass to the deepest recesses of hell!... Yeah, the Dagi scene gave me a stiffy but then Sonata came through and killed it so... Yeah; fine-line, masturbation, Rick-Trolled, stupid sexy Dagi, etc... Oh! I nearly forgot, the sirens got theme songs! So I'll list them as they are so you can look them up because I don't wanna deal with the risk of Copyright stuff, if you already know them than good on ya... 'Ahem'

Adagio: Black Magic Woman by Santana (Seductive, yet ominous. When I hear this song I think of her, that and I'm a lazy boner-buster that couldn't think of another song for her.)

Sonata: Down with the Sickness by Disturbed or Sweating Bullets by Megadeth. (One song's about falling into madness, the other's about dementia. Take your pick.)

Aria: Another Way Out by Hollywood Undead (I honestly had a hard time finding a song for her, I was just gonna be a lazy boner-buster again and give her Down with the Sickness but I thought 'No, I'll save that for Sonata...' Then I remembered this song and thought, '... Hyeah, I'm a fucking genius.')

Oh, one last thing before I go! Just out of curiosity, do you wonder how they all became what they are? Well, you can probably guess that Mike's a case of Stockholm syndrome, but what about the sirens? We all know Sonata was a precious cinnamon bun, and before all this happened she still was. But when they took over Equestria, she'd witnessed something that she wasn't quite used to... Death. People died, ponies died, children, foals, everyone and everything started dying. You know shell-shocked veterans, right? They're put through boot-camp because it hardens them, because if they survive the fucking war they usually become shell shocked, so the camp is sort of like a mental training thing... Sonata was not mentally prepared for all of this, she just... Crumbled. Her sense of right and wrong were warped beyond repair, the deaths of so many innocent beings and the misery of the ones that survived... She honestly believes that those things are good things, she doesn't realize she's doing something wrong, because she doesn't know the meaning of that word anymore...

The next one hit was Aria, after the step of taking over Equestria there were still rebels, which needed to be exterminated. She was the executioner, and she was honestly scared to actually end the life of someone. When she actually killed someone, she hated herself for it... But over time, she got used to it. She started experimenting with different ways of killing after a while, and eventually she stumbled into the art of torture... Through this process, she learned to hide her true emotions with a stoic face, both to strike fear into others and as a result of being used to killing. Her sense of empathy was dead and forgotten, along with the many victims of her wrath... But then she met Mike, she never cared for him but Adagio explicitly told her NOT to kill him. Over time, they started to bond, and she grew a feeling she hadn't felt in a very long time... Empathy. She didn't know how to react to it, this feeling in her stomach was foreign to her. More and more, Mike would be put in her care to be tortured, and each time the feeling would grow. Then he got to know his torturer, and though small, her empathy for Mike would grow and grow until it evolved into a much stronger emotion... Eventually, she started to long for him to visit for reasons she did not know, these new feelings confused her to no end. She never understood the feelings, but they made her feel strange... Strange in a good way, that is. She felt noticed, she felt complete, she felt..... Loved. Now, that empathy has evolved. She's absolutely obsessed with the human, she wants him, needs him... But she knows she can't have him, because he's not eternal like her... The saddest part of this is the fact that when he dies, Aria will as well. She'll be an empty husk of what she was, and you could imagine that she'll probably want to be with him again... Even if she must sacrifice something to do so, and I can tell you with absolute honesty that she really will do a anything to be with him.

Now, Adagio is a different case. She wasn't crazy, she was probably, and still is, the sanest of them all... And you'd be right to assume that, her will and determination has proven to be greater than what this world has thrown at her. But she does suffer from this, because she's not crazy... Imagine having a sibling, a sibling that you love dearly. What if that sibling becomes traumatized by your rash decisions, and is now mentally insane? What if you had another sibling, a sibling that you assigned to be an executioner of thousands of innocent lives, simply because you thought they were tough enough to endure. But that very sibling is now incapable of feeling ANY sense of empathy?... What if you have to see them every day, every single day, and knowing that you were the one that broke them, you had to treat them like they were normal? You had to treat them like they were normal, but you knew full-well in your mind they were not... But those siblings of yours? They don't see anything wrong with themselves, they think they're perfectly normal! Yep, absolutely nothing wrong with them, they were just like everyone else! This is the life of Adagio, having to watch as her sisters fall apart... But she did not have the bliss of insanity, she could still feel. She felt the guilt, it clawed the back of her head every time she saw her sisters... Hell, I'd imagine the reason she's so perverted is because she dived into that sick world in an effort to try and forget everything that's going on in her life, and now she's constantly thinking about perverse thoughts as a result. In a nutshell, she hates herself, absolutely despises what she's become...

Yeah, not so fucking funny now, is it? With all this in mind try reading it again, you'll probably still laugh but that's because you've read seven thousand words of utter shit and lost your sense of humanity. See you assholes in hell.

[I'll draw Mike later, workin' on some other shit.]