You Can't Be Missed If You Never Left

Marina had just about fallen out of her chair when Twilight finished up the story, a huge smile painted on her face. Twilight laughed as she pulled herself back up into her chair, still grinning ear-to-ear.

“Ms. Twilight!” she cried. “That was, like, the sweetest thing ever! When Rainbow Dash showed up at your door and said, ‘I love you too’, I thought I was gonna die!” The purple mare giggled a little more, levitating the book back onto the shelves with a contented sigh.

“It was very sweet of her to do that,” Twilight said, “and it was the last thing I’d expected after the fiasco at the auditions. Rainbow later told me that she was kinda upset about getting rushed out the door like that, but seeing that they had dozens of candidates, well…I can see why they did it, myself.”

Marina nodded. “I don’t think it was a bad thing for them to do,” she said. “After all, I bet they’d seen plenty of auditions when they were Wonderbolts—I’d be pushing ponies along too!”

Twilight nodded, taking a sip from her water. “Though you do realize that rushing ponies through auditions is not the moral of this story, I hope?” She chuckled. “I’d feel pretty silly if I sat here and told you all this and that’s the idea you walked away with.” The blue filly shook her head, smiling.

“No, Teacher,” she said, leaning on a hoof. “I understand what you were trying to tell me.” Twilight raised an eyebrow quizzically, prompting her student. “You wanted me to realize that sometimes, we just have to get out there and go after what we want, regardless of appre…um…appr…uh…”

Twilight giggled. “‘Apprehension’, Marina?” she offered, and her blue-coated student nodded happily.

“Apprehension, that’s it! That’s a hard word, Ms. Twilight,” she said, yawning.

Twilight laughed. “I imagine being out this late isn’t doing your brain any favors, Marina,” she said. “You really ought to be getting home, don’t you think? It’s going to be a big day for you tomorrow.” Marina stifled another yawn, shaking her head.

“No, Teacher!” she cried, “I’m totally wide awake! I want to hear how the story ends!”

Twilight shrugged. “There isn’t much more to tell you, my student; at least nothing I’m willing to tell you in tonight’s session. Rainbow Dash and I, well, we sewed a tapestry together—our lives were very rich and robust.” Marina pouted.

“Can’t you tell me anything else, Teacher?” she begged, putting her hooves together.

Twilight rolled her eyes good-naturedly, smiling. “Very well, my little pony,” she said. “I can summarize what happened after Dash declared her love for me, but that is all you’ll get until the next time I must tell you a story.” She smiled. “Is that satisfactory?” Marina nodded happily, bidding her teacher go on.

“Dash and I ended up talking for the rest of the day,” Twilight began, “and even most of the night, about what had happened for all those years, why I’d never told her how I felt, and why she’d never told me, either.” Marina nodded. “It turned out that Dash had felt the same way about me for a while, like I said earlier. But beyond that, she was pretty sure I didn’t feel the same way. I’d spent so much time around my books that, well, she figured I wasn’t interested in anypony, much less her.” The unicorn chuckled a little. “I only dealt with those feelings for four days—I can’t imagine what it was like for her.”

“I must’ve been awful, teacher!” she cried. “Did you ever ask her about it?”

Twilight nodded. “She told me that, after a while, she just learned to focus her energy elsewhere—flying, mostly. It was tough at first, but, like anything else, time gives us the perspective to deal with things which seem insurmountable.” Marina tilted her head quizzically, and Twilight laughed. “What I mean is, after a while of feeling like that, Dash just learned to accept it.” Marina nodded as though she got it, and the purple unicorn continued.

“Anyway, Dash was in the Wonderbolts then, but she knew that we had a lot of discussing to do. Living arrangements, shopping trips, our respective jobs…” Twilight blushed. “…Kids…” She cleared her throat awkwardly. “These were all things we needed to talk about in preparation for the future.”

Marina had an eyebrow raised. “Teacher,” she said, “I thought mares couldn’t have kids if they were with another mare? That’s what my mommy told me.” Twilight was a little taken aback, but chuckled.

“Well, there are ways of…circumventing that, Marina,” she said, indicating her horn, “magically, of course. Celestia offered to give Dash and I a child, you see. Her magic was much more powerful than anypony else.” Marina smiled.

“And you and Ms. Rainbow accepted, right?” she asked. The filly recoiled in shock when Twilight shook her head. “Why not, Teacher?!” she cried. “I’d have thought you’d want kids!” The purple mare nodded.

“I did, Marina,” she said, “but…I was a little over-the-hill by that point, and so was Dash. We had many jobs to do: Celestia was talking about promoting me to head librarian in Canterlot—the job I do now—and Dash had the Wonderbolts to think about, plus training the royal guard. Put simply, as much as we wanted kids, we felt too old and busy to handle them. Perhaps if we’d been younger, you’d have little purple-and-rainbow haired fillies and colts running around. Though Dash surprised everypony: she lasted 10 years in the Wonderbolts and retired as their captain, when everything was said and done.” She laughed, patting Marina on the head.

The filly seemed a bit deflated after the explanation, but nodded. “But, Ms. Twilight…you never did tell me what happened when Ms. Dash left for the fountain of youth all those years ago.” She leaned on the table. “What happened then?” Twilight swallowed, looking out the window.

“That…may be a story for another time, my student,” she said. “It’s very late, and I’ve done as you asked me; I’ve told you, briefly, about Rainbow’s and my life. It’s time to go.” Marina pouted, but it didn’t work this time. “Now, Marina. I’m sorry, but it’s nearly 10:30, and I won’t have you in trouble.” The filly nodded and slunk towards the door.

“I’ll get going, Ms. Sparkle…” she said, opening the door with her magic.
“Um…thanks a lot for the lesson. It really helped me figure a couple of things out, Ms. Twilight. I swear I’ll go and do what I need to tomorrow.” Twilight nodded.

“I just know everything will work out for you, my little pony,” she said, “don’t worry about it too much, or you won’t get any sleep. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Teacher,” Marina said, the door closing behind her as she left. Twilight slumped back into the chair, looking over at the book, now shelved, with a sigh.

“Oh Dash…” she said, closing her eyes as the memories came flooding back, “You didn’t have to leave…what I wouldn’t give to have you in my arms again…”

“Dash!” Twilight cried from the doorway of their bedroom, her voice tinged with fatigue. “Dash, where are you going? It’s five in the morning!” Across from her, Rainbow Dash had just risen, and had been trying to flutter out of the room when she was interrupted. The pegasus sighed and turned around.

“Twi, you oughta go back to bed,” she said. “I just…gotta go and take care of something.” She gave an awkward grin. “You know me—I’ve always been an early riser!” Twilight held the sheets up near her chest, but threw them back at that statement.

“I do know you, Dash,” she said, her crow’s-feet-studded eyes wrinkling in concern, “and one of your most distinguishing traits is being a horrible liar. What’s really going on, Dash?” She turned to the side, getting out of bed to walk towards her mate. Dash floated back a little, her grey mane swaying with the motion.

“Twi…c’mon, don’t make me say it. Don’t gimme the eyes, please.” But Twilight did not heed her pleas, and opened up her eyes a little, quivering her lower lip.

“Please, Dash…you’re not the type of pony to keep secrets from me, are you?” she asked, knowing she was being unfair. Dash groaned, settling down on the floor.

“That was a cheap shot!” she said, though her tone was-good natured. “Alright…I guess I gotta tell you now, don’t I?” Twilight nodded, her mind now swirling with worry, and Dash spoke. “I, well, see, the thing is, Twilight…I’m leaving. I’m gonna get flying right now, and I don’t really know where I’m gonna go.” The purple mare’s eyes widened with shock.

“Dash, what’re you saying?!” she cried, making the pegasus grimace. “You’re…leaving me?” Dash’s eyes widened, and she shook her head vigorously.

“Twi, you know I wouldn’t do that,” she said. “If I didn’t want to be with you, I wouldn’t have stuck around for 33 years would I?” Twilight shrunk back a little, stung by the response. “I just…I have to leave.”

“Dash, you don’t have to leave,” Twilight said. “At least tell me what’s going on!” Rainbow looked out the window, seeing that the sun was rising—golden fingers spread throughout room, lighting up Rainbow’s eyes; they were the one part of her that sparkled just like the old days.

“Twi, you know what the doctor said. About my age…about my heart…about how much longer than me you’re going to live…” Twilight’s eyes grew hard.

“Dash, that doctor is wrong!” she said. “I’m a unicorn! I can use my magic to—”

“Twi, the doctor was a unicorn, too, and he said there wasn’t anything he could do!” Dash shook her head. “I know you’re powerful, Twi, but there’s nothing to be done about it, okay?!” The air hung still for a few moments, Twilight beginning to cry a little, Rainbow’s eyes shut tight.

“But Rainbow…don’t you want to be here when it happens, at least?” she asked, sniffling. “I don’t…I don’t wanna be left alone, Dash…not at this age. Not after we’ve been through so much together.” The blue pony looked physically pained by the statement, and drew Twilight into a hug.

“Twilight…” she said, whispering. “I don’t…want anypony to see me when it happens. Especially not you. I want you to remember me like I was, not as this creaky old pony who can barely get herself around anymore.”

Twilight swallowed hard. “Dash, you’re still teaching other pegasi how to fly in the royal guard! You still get around perfectly well!”

“Look, I’m not gonna let all my friends see me as a wrinkled husk in a bucking coffin, Twilight!” The purple unicorn’s mouth hung open, tears washing out of her eyes. Dash was silent for a few moments, but then continued. “And…there’s another reason, too.” Twilight took a deep breath, feeling as though her heart was going to collapse.

“What is it, Dash?” she asked, her voice incredibly small.

The blue pegasus looked down and away, letting an ironic chuckle slip out. “Well…you remember how I used to tell you about those promises I made to myself? Well, when I was just a dumb little filly in flight school…”

“Who could barely spell ‘wing’, right?” Twilight finished for her, a weak smile on her lips. Rainbow smiled and nodded.

“Right,” she said, “barely spell ‘wing’.” She looked back up, towards the window, the wrinkles on her face showing up in the sunlight, denting her blue coat. “Well this was another promise I made…since I’ve always loved flying so much, I wanted to go doing what I loved. I told myself that, no matter where I was later in my life, that I would kick the bucket in the air.” The pegasus unfurled her wings, sighing. “And that’s what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna fly off today and…well…wherever the wind takes me, I’ll die out there, in my element.” Tears were rolling down Twilight’s cheeks in fat drops as her mate spoke.

“Dash…take me with you. Please…at least take me with you. We’ll go together.” Dash shook her head, looking deep into the purple mare’s eyes.

“Twi, you know that’s not an option.” She messed with the joints in her wings, listening to them groan in protest. “Even if I wanted to, there’s just no way for me to. My back would give out two feet off the ground. As it is, well…I’m not betting on making it very far.” When Twilight opened her mouth to rebut her, Dash held up a hoof for silence. “This is, well…it’s just something I gotta do… Never been a promise-breaking pony, I guess.” She smiled, pulling her mate close.

“You’re breaking my heart, Dash,” Twilight said, her heart currently swimming in her digestive tract. “I love you, but you’re breaking my heart…” The blue pony swallowed hard, but nodded, the heat from her blush making its way into the familiar spot on Twilight’s neck.

“I know,” she said, “and I’m so sorry…but I’ve got to do it. I can’t die on the ground, weary and tired…I gotta go being me, reckless and carefree, with the wind in my hair.” She pulled back a bit, giving Twilight a tender, lingering kiss on the mouth. “You know I’ll always love you, Twilight.” The unicorn sniffed and nodded.

“I’ll always love you too, Dash,” she said, sighing brokenly.

“But, hey, it’s not like this is the last goodbye, right?” Twilight looked up as she heard Dash’s voice, her heart leaping up a little. “I mean, well…I’ve never been too good with words, but lemme try and explain it.” She paused a moment, allowing Twilight to wipe the tears from her cheeks. “Well…it’s like this. Even if I’m technically leaving, I’ll always be right here, right?” She brought her hoof up, indicating Twilight’s heart. The unicorn nodded. “Well, see, if I’m always in your heart, then it’s like I never left, right? And you can’t be missed if you never left, right?” Twilight giggled a little, finally, and Dash blushed. “Help me out here, Twi. I look like an idiot.”

Twilight walked forward a bit, snuggling her head under Rainbow’s jaw lovingly. “Let me see if I’ve got it,” she said. “I can’t really miss you if you never left, and if you’re always in my heart, then it’s like you never left, right?” Dash laughed a little, and the vibration comforted Twilight.

“You always were better with stuff like that than me, Twi,” she said, kissing the top of her wife’s head.

“You mean mushy-gushy stuff?” Twilight responded, prompting the two to break out into fits of giggling. Twilight removed her head and looked into Dash’s eyes, smiling. “I’ll always be sure to keep that in mind, Dashie.” Rainbow blushed—it was a nickname Twilight hadn’t used for a while.

When a few moments had passed, Twilight sighed, pushing her grey mane over one shoulder to lean in and kiss Rainbow Dash on the cheek. “Bye, Dash,” she said, eyes filling now with tears of happiness.

“Bye, Twi,” Dash responded. “Look for me when Celestia sends you to the next realm over, alright?” Twilight giggled a little, but nodded, and Rainbow turned, slowly fluttering off, hesitation obvious in the way her muscles moved.

When her lover’s form finally disappeared from the view of the window, Twilight sat down on the bed, feeling the lukewarm spot where Dash had lay. There were no tears, no hooves hitting the bed, and no protestations of cruel fate. All Twilight felt as she fell back, her hair splaying on Dash’s pillow, was an odd mix of emotions:

An overwhelming sense of emptiness, and a massive swelling of her heart.

Twilight woke up on the table, a small string of drool hanging from her muzzle. She shook her head, feeling a familiar ache in the old muscles of her back—she’d fallen asleep out here many times while thinking about Dash.

The purple mare rose, shoving a hoof into her back, satisfied with the series of cracks which emitted from it, and drained the warm water left over from last night, looking out the window.

Directly across from her, she could see the house of another student of hers, this one only studying history—Flare Nymph, an earth pony with a fiery attitude and a mouth to match; she was always speaking up in defense of somepony or another when Twilight would see her on a shopping trip.

The unicorn smiled as she saw the door open, her clock ringing 12 in the back of the room. Her smile switched to a look of shock as she saw Marina emerging, Flare walking out right behind her.

Seeing that the pair were holding hooves, her smile returned, growing ever wider as she saw the huge smiles on their faces.

Thinking back, seeing the two ponies so happy with each other, she realized that there was another thing Rainbow had said, one that she’d forgotten to tell Marina:

“‘If you ask me, young love is the best thing around. It’s got room to grow more than old mare love, like we got.’” Twilight had giggled at that, at the time, feeling that her love was the strongest in the world. But now, seeing these two together, she reconsidered.

It was going to be amazing when she and Rainbow got to experience it for the first time, a few years from now, far away from the old tree-house Twilight was sipping her new glass of water in, all the way off in the embrace of the stars above...

Flare leaned over and gave Marina a kiss on the cheek, eliciting a nervous giggle and a lighting-up of her horn, which made her blush heavily. Twilight smiled, leaning against the window as she suppressed a tear with a sniffle.

Yeah, young love really was the greatest thing around.

The End