And then there was a battle

by MostBrainWhyYes

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Comedy, Random
Length: 1624

The story starts with a silly battle leading to some shipping.

A silly battle. Some shipping. Randomness. Some puns.

Enjoy.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-23 10:23:48 UTC

And then there was a battle

There is cattle. Lots of cattle. But tonight there is a battle. Pony red pony blue, pony one pony two. Ponies left ponies right, ponies have not slept at all last night. I forget which night it is.

Pinkie has various weapons with variously shaped party poppers as ammunition. Mostly just shotguns, and the confetti hits ponies, and they have slow motion effects where their body sorta ripples and they go cross-eyed and their tongue lolls out and they ragdoll. Yeah its kinda random like bursting into song or something.

So here comes Rainbow Dash, you know whats coming. She farts, nervously as Pinkie sorta zigzag bounce jukes in the air while vibrating, and the Rainbow clears the area in nine seconds flat. As you may imagine Rainbow was blushing very much after that. It was sorta loud too, then she farted a second time while grunting.

Pinkie Pie rolls over laughing and that Stallion with balloons on his butt (flank) ((cutie mark)) snipes Pinkie with a water balloon crossbow sniper thing. Thing is bolted down to the top of Sugar Cube corner. They figured it'd surprise Pinkie, and babies learn most from surprises. The water balloon hits Pinkie squarely (its actually kinda sack shaped, not square and certainly not a cube, even though its from Sugar Cube corner's roof) on her abdomen and she farts too. Its Pink and smells of confetti and bubblegum and the inside of a balloon, and knocks everypony who just stood up from the previous fartsplosion ([*clicks, adds to dictionary*]) in eight. Seconds. Flat. The ponies fall back on their asses, their asses make donkey noises, and Rainbow tries burying her head in the ground because hey, why is Pinkie faster than her all the time? (Pst; its because Dash lays around all day).

So now everypony is kinda a little annoyed at falling over. So of course thats when Discord comes over and makes the ground impossible to stand on, and its swirling magnificent colors because why not he has been bored for some time now.

'Pony life can be incredibly dull.'

See.

And now everypony repeatedly falls on their asses which get repeatedly more agitated and would kick at the ponies falling on them except they can't get proper footing. Discord laughs. Pinkie tries getting up and falls over and laughs some more. The pegasi just start to fly. Discord is like, nope, and reverses gravity. The earth ponies start to fall into the sky and Discord panics and remembers Fluttershy might be bothered and he really doesn't want to be berated by Fluttershy. She can be downright scary. So Discord reverses the changes and says-

'Ahem' He cleared his throat. Wait for it.

'Well this was certainly, um, a something and I can't be bothered to... make a boulder I cannot lift. Tata~' Poof.

Twilight's wing is hurt because she is such a klutz and flailed them around alot, and Discord was somewhat to blame. Twilight being purple smart makes cheeky mental note out loud to talk to Fluttershy about him later. Fluttershy says-

'Oh you poor thing. Let mama- I mean- uh...' She was going to say let Fluttershy take a look at you, but she accidentally let her fantasies she forces on her animal friends sometimes slip. Angel is going to be so disappointed in her. She squeaks a sound similar to the squeak she made the day she met Twilight. Now Twilight looks back and forth to make sure nopony is watching causing Fluttershy to shy a little more. Twilight leans closer to Fluttershy to whisper into her ear.

'I'm cool with it.' Fluttershy blushes madly. Twilight smiles at Fluttershy. Fluttershy shyly looks back, and regains confidence while still blushing. Their faces are kind of close. Twilight blushes too. Their faces are getting closer. They start to close their eyes and open their mouths.

Rainbow Dash bursts into laughter interrupting them. Twilight makes somewhat angry/annoyed face and looks away. Fluttershy gets shy.

Pinkie: 'Awww Dashie why'd you have to go and interrupt them like that!'

AJ takes Dashie by the ear and gives her a stern talkin' to.

Rarity just awkwardly puffs her hair up and looks around wondering what to say.

'..Well. Darling I certainly-' Fluttershy and Twi look to her. '-approve, do not let this INsensitive mare bother you none' *glares at Rainbow Dash's direction momentarily*.

'I think you two would make a great couple.' Rarity continues.

Fluttershy puts a poison joke flower in her hair just above her ear and deeply sings.

Twilight blushes flattered bringing a hoof to her chin and turns her head cutely. For some reason the air turns romantic colors and lightly sparkly and such. Everypony stares to Twilight and Fluttershy now. Birds take up the instruments. Squirrels and other critters move to the beat.

Slowly but with eyes lidded the newly found couple tilt their head and slowly kiss. Magic swirls around them and they are lifted into the air and their passion builds. Twilight's wings unfurl. They activate as the elements of harmony** and their colors change. Their audience 'oo's and 'ahh's while they 'mm' and 'ohhh'. They slowly break from their kiss and float back to Equestria. The rest of the mane 6 cheer and they both blush but Fluttershy is quite bold tonight.

'Why don't you head on over to my place, my carpets need a little.. Cleaning, but I'm sure you'll be right at home.' Yes her voice is still deep.

'Mm I would love to.' Twilight purrs. They walk side by side to Fluttershy's cottage with the Rarity holding Pinkie's mouth shut to not ruin the moment and AJ making sure Dash doesn't peep in on them.

They close the door then everypony is about to squeal happily for their two friends when a bright light shines from the cottage of purple and yellow and the sound of magic and moaning can be heard.

Rarity: 'On second thought a peek couldn't hurt.' Everypony goes to watch fighting over trying to get the best view. When Dash tries to fly for a better view Rarity Hmph!s and levitates Dash down saying its not fair she get the best view and the rest don't. Eventually they make such a commotion when they hear the door open they fear they ruined their time together. Its just Discord leaving.

'Do you believe they kicked me out? Because I certainly don't believe what is going on in there.'

Rarity: 'Give me all the juicy details! ALL OF THEM!' AJ and Pinkie look at Rarity like Uhuh? Dash is annoyed at Rarity's self contradiction but blows it off.

'Inhale~. I wasn't even there for long, just one moment I'm telling Angel about my day and making morally reprehensible plots with him, when suddenly this light comes forth and a deep voice asks me to leave. Turns out it was shiny Shy. I didn't have any poke'balls left so I left.' He mutters something about shiny this or that.

The light and moans cease and the group looks into the room and sees two ponies sleeping peacefully with very messy manes and smiles. And Angel has a camera recording. Discord rubs his chin in thought. The mane 4 turn on him like he got Angel to do it.

'What? You think I set up angel to do this? Because I did not, if I wanted to record it' Discord snaps his fingers and a pile of teddy bears appears. 'Then I would have used hidden cameras.' He takes apart one bear with a snap of his finger showing its camera components.

Pinkie: 'Eww! Creepy! OH HEY I can use these!'

AJ: 'Well if you didn't do it you ought to bring Angel out here so we can give em a stern talkin to!' She nods, Rarity agrees with a nod and expression.

Rarity: 'And I will have to take the tape, for um.' The others look at her. 'What? Surprisinglyhavingahardtimecomingupwithanexcuseforthis' She tugs on Rainbow Dashel's tail to bring her down to her level and whispers in her ear but Discord gets between them smiling and just snaps his fingers and angel with his camera pops up in front of them. AJ looks a might bit upset, plum angry even. The rest look like they want to steal the camera for themselves.

Angel holds the camera away from them closes his eyes and shakes his head at them. When the others try to pounce at him Angel bits Discord's shin causing him to instinctively teleport half way across town.

'OW! I do hate it when you do that.. Can't really get even because, Fluttershy would have my head on a figurative verbal platter. So why did you do it?' He sighs. 'Does it really even matter? I feel trapped, truly I do.' He summons cotton candy and eats some. Angel vies for his attention.

'What is it?' Angel motions with his ears obviously mimicking shy horse for the sake of communication. He holds the camera up and hands it to himself, he shakes his head very Angel-like, then shoves the camera on himself and falls back.

'Ohh' Discord snaps back to the others with Angel.

'Angel says that Fluttershy had him record it and isn't letting us view it because its private.' Seeing the mane four are about to tussle for it with Angel and each other Discord clears his throat. 'And I can't let Angel get a poor word in about me so settle down.' Rarity Dash and Pinkie look each other in the eyes like its on like King Kong. You can hear them fighting in the background and the sun is rising.

AJ: 'Its apple-buckin time! Yeee-Haw!'