Lotsa Diamonds

I swear to the Royal Sisters, I am in no mood for this right now. This creature has compromised my comfort with his vulgar comments, and my attack of him was, as I'm sure you and anypony else with the slightest rationality in their mind would agree, extremely justified. Though I did not expect him to be so... vulnerable to it. I had expected it to simply be an inconvenience to get out of those clothes of his.

We stop right next to a sign. I look at it to find it read: "SQUADALA STOP". Not half a second later, I hear a whooshing sound. I look up to see another ape-like creature on something... is it a carpet? The carpet comes closer and I take a few steps back when I get a closer view of the creature on the rug. He is wrinkled all over, and even worse, he is dressed in simply the most cringe-inducing clothes I have ever laid eyes upon.

That fabric is clearly polyester!

I turn around. "I refuse to be a part of this!"

"Your loss," says Luigi, and climbs on the carpet.

I can't resist peeking back and looking at the carpet. It seems like a great opportunity...

I could learn what the carpet is made from that makes it fly! I hear the obviously-older man exclaim:

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"WAAAIIIT!" I yell rabidly, and grab onto the corner of the carpet with my teeth. The carpet starts to move, and with the edge of it in my teeth, the entire carpet untwines...

The result is that Luigi and... Squadala-man, as I'll use as a placeholder term... fall straight to the ground, and I am stood there with a very large ball of fabric in my mouth.

"Um... shall we walk?" I suggest to Luigi rather hastily while Squadala-man is still trying to get up. To which the fat man replies:

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...and then jumps onto my back. Of course, I slowly turn my head around robotically and stare at him with another intense death glare.

"Oh... heheh..." He seems slightly intimidated and quickly gets down from me.

"Good," I say sharply. He walks in front of me and I follow him. In the distance I can see a village, which I can only assume is where he is taking me, but it is obviously miles away.

"Did I ever tell you about the time I hoped there would be lotsa spaghetti?" he asks me.

"No," I reply. "Have I ever told you about the time THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. THING. happened?"

"Nuh-uh," says Luigi. "So about that restaurant... I wonder what's for-"

Suddenly, a cupcake flies from the direction of the castle straight for him and hits him in the back of the head. "Ow!" he cries.