Under The Blue Sky

Suddenly the sheets didn't feel comfortable anymore, nothing did to Alfred, not anymore. He just laid there on Twilight's bed, staring at his frozen wristwatch with tears still in his eyes. He wanted to forget about the world. He wanted to forget about both of them, the magical, fantasy land that he was now dissolving in, and the one from before that made him feel like he was dissolving. Everything about his life back home was just so miserable, except for Luke. His sweet, little boy was now fatherless and it tore Alfred up.

He didn't deserve this, Luke didn't either. No one should have to grow up without a father and no one should not be there to raise their child. Alfred had failed in both cases. He started to quiver thinking about all the things he'd miss about his son. His lovely smile, his cute giggle, and his beautiful blue eyes. His eyes reminded Alfred of the blue sky. As Alfred diverted his eyes from his wristwatch and to the blue sky out the window, he burst into another crying fit.

Why did it have to be him? Why did it have to be him who disappeared that night? Why not his bitch wife, or his offensive boss, or anyone else? He should've done something. He should've stood up and changed his ways, but he didn't and now there was nothing he could do. Alfred first thought that this was all a sick punishment, but now he didn't know what to think, so he didn't. He just stared blankly at his wristwatch again. Then he looked over to his bag by the foot of the bed.

Was it time? In his darkest moment Alfred sure felt like it was. No one would care. They would all understand. The only person he figured he'd hurt was Spike and Twilight since they had to clean up the mess. There was nobody to stop him at this moment. He could just reach over to his bag, open it, pull it out and that would be that. There would be no more pain, no more fear, no more loss, no more tears, no more sadness.

He slowly sat up and went to grab the backpack. It was a small, red backpack that he remembered buying as a young boy. He wanted it so badly back then. He would often pester his father and point out to it every time they walked past the shop, which was almost everyday. He remembered how excited he was when he finally received it for his birthday all those years ago. They were both dead now, his parents. His father died of cancer and his mother disappeared two weeks later. The local police found her hanging from a rope in a close hotel. Alfred recalled what he was told by everyone that day.

"It wasn't your fault, Alfred. You didn't do anything wrong."

He opened the backpack slowly and revealed the contents one by one. The first item he pulled out was a small framed picture of his family. He looked at the sad fake smiles he and his wife were putting on. Debra, was holding Luke, of course since she didn't want Alfred anywhere near him. They had just had Luke and their relationship was only getting worse. Alfred didn't know why but it just was. They became more and more distant and Alfred suddenly didn't know who she was anymore. It was a problem that they both saw but neither did anything to fix it. He traced his thumb slowly over Luke's head and moved onto the next item.

He pulled out his wallet and bus pass. He only kept them in there in case he ever had to leave the house for a few nights. It was as depressing thing to even think about but it there were multiple cases of that happening. His phone wasn't in there although it usually would be. Alfred just decided not to bring it the night he disappeared since he was only going on a small walk. Alfred pinched himself for his stupidity and moved on.

Last, but definitely not least, was a gun. It was a small revolver that currently held one bullet. He originally found this gun while walking one night. He spotted someone being mugged down the street and decided to hang back, being the coward that he is. Well one thing led to another and they both wound up dead. Alfred was terrified after hearing the gunshots. He wanted to run back home fast before the police arrived. Something changed in Alfred that night. He did want to run, but he didn't. He peeked his head around the corner to see both bodies laying on the ground, completely still. He walked slowly towards the now dead men and inspected the crime scene. That's when he noticed the lonely gun lying on the ground quite a distance from the two. After approaching it he knelt down and raised the gun to the charcoal sky. He had managed to get a good look of it thanks to the nearby street lamp. He turned back to the silent bodies and then back to the haunting gun. Muffled police sirens suddenly got Alfred's attention. He placed the gun in his backpack and quickly walked away, making sure never to return to that place in any future walk. When he got home he tried desperately to open the gun's chamber and found one bullet nestled inside. Luckily, nothing was traced back to him. The crime was reported on the news but the case went cold. Alfred's heart also went cold that night. He had done a bad thing but he enjoyed his time doing it. For the first time in a long time Alfred felt proud of his actions.

He had kept the gun in his backpack ever since, as a reminder. It was a reminder that there was always another escape. As much as he wanted to, Alfred never had the guts to off himself. Today was different. Today was excruciating and Alfred needed it to stop. He had it coming for a long time now, and he knew it. After climbing out of Twilight's bed, he slowly began to raise the gun to his head with tears streaming down his cheeks.

He was close.

He was so close.

All he had to do was pull the trigger and everything would be gone.

No more pain...

No more fear...

No more life...

Alfred suddenly dropped the gun and sat back down on the bed, crying into his hands. He wasn't ready. He didn't want to go, he just wanted the pain to go. He didn't see that he had what he needed, a second chance. No one knew him here. He could be whoever he wanted to be. He didn't have a terrible life to live everyday, not anymore. He didn't see that there was no more pain and fear anymore. He only now realised this new world can offer him so much more.

Twilight heard the loud thunk of the gun and quickly hurried upstairs to find Alfred on the corner of her bed sobbing. She immediately went up to him and rested a hoof on his shoulder to comfort him. Alfred embraced her and went in for a tight hug.

Although he was crying, he was excited for the future.