Double Date Dash

“Alright! Alright alright, just—” Twilight waved a hoof in protest at a giggling Rarity, who was leaning against Fluttershy on a sofa in the castle’s library. “Just let me look and see if I can find it first.” It took every fiber of Twilight’s concentration to keep herself from giggling as well. It was hard enough just for her to stand as it was.

Across the three on another couch, Rainbow Dash and Applejack looked on disdainfully, holding tight to mugs of cider. “Seriously, guys,” Rainbow said, “you’re interested in some dating book?”

“Wh-why of course,” Rarity stammered, her usual elegance slipping with a newfound slur. “It’s only one of the best this side of Equestria!”

Fluttershy nodded. “I have to agree with Rari–hic… ’scuse me. I read in a magazine recently that double dates are back in season, and this book was one of the first ever written on them!”

Applejack tilted her head at the mare. “In season? Since when was datin’ a seasonal thing?”

“Ugh,” Rarity scoffed as she grabbed her mug from an end table. “I swear, Applejack, between you and Rainbow Dash, you have to be some of the most uncuwf— uncouth ladies I’ve ever met!”

Rainbow Dash and Applejack gave a mutual grunt to that.

“I think they’re called… tomcolts?” Fluttershy added softly from aside.

“Right,” Rarity said with a dramatic nod, nearly sloshing her cider onto her lap. “Tomcolts! You two… ladies, if I can even call you that, are the most tomcoltish mares I know.”

“So what if we are,” Rainbow argued. Nudging Applejack in the side, she said, “We just know how to have real fun, right AJ?”

Applejack leaned back against the cushions, nudging her hat up as she raised an eyebrow at the pegasus. “And what kinda fun is that?”

“Y’know!” Rainbow gestured with her hooves, then immediately stopped to catch the cider spilling from the rim of her mug. “Mmf… like, the Iron Pony competition and stuff!”

“Oh! Right, heh,” Applejack chuckled, wiping her free hoof across her brow. “For a minute there, ya had me worried, what with them talkin’ about datin’ and what not—”

“Heeeeck no,” Rainbow interrupted. “I don’t roll like that.” Gabbing a hoof in the mare’s side again, she added, “We don’t roll like that. You and me? We’re the cool ponies outta this bunch.” She glared over at Rarity. “You can have your fancy… romancy… whatever stuff. AJ and I’ll stick with the good life. The solo life.”

Just as Rarity opened her mouth to argue, Twilight stepped between them with a book held magically in front of her. “That’s enough, girls,” she said with an exaggerated flair as she tilted her horn toward Rarity, laying the book gently in her lap. “I believe this is what you were looking for?”

“Eeeeee!!” Rarity squee’d. “How to Double the Date, by Charles Witherker.” Clutching the book to her chest with both forelegs, she sighed as she looked toward the vaulted crystal ceiling. “A true dating classic, if ever there were one!”

As Fluttershy giggled at the sight, Rainbow Dash and Applejack shook their heads, leaving Twilight time to pull out some notes from a nearby writing desk. Sifting through a drawer, she said, “Believe it or not, I read that book cover to cover once, not long after that first sleepover we had.”

“You mean that one with me and Rares?” Applejack asked. “What made you interested in somethin’ sappy like that?”

“Oh, I dunno.” Twilight blushed a little at a certain thought, though she kept her attention on the drawer. “A mare can dream.”

Sifting near the back end, she found the folder she was looking for. Pulling it out with her magic, she spread a sheet of hurriedly scribbled notes out in front of her. “Yep, these are the notes I took while reading the book.” Hoisting the notes with her as she walked over to Rarity, she said, “There was one particularly fascinating part about speed dating, in which two parties of two were matched up amongst friends in order to promote high compatibility and—”

“Yes yes yes, here it is,” Rarity interjected as she held the book open in her hooves. “It says here, ’The Double Date Dash, best used with best friends, is a quick and stylish way of finding love at first dinner.’” Glancing up at Twilight, she squealed again, “It says stylish! Eeee!”

Twilight merely rolled her eyes.

Continuing, Rarity read, “’Simply pair up two friends together who have similar interests, and bring along another friend of your own who shares yours. Matches made with matching friends make match-making a breeze!’”

“Well,” Applejack said, “corny as it sounds, that ain’t a bad argument there. Some of my kinfolk got together jus’ from bein’ good friends.”

“Really?” Twilight said as she looked over at her. “I didn’t know that!”

“Yep. Red Delicious and Caramel Apple were best friends since kindergarten, then they up and got hitched by the time they were of age.”

“So, wait,” Rainbow started with a raised eyebrow. “You mean to say Apples can marry… other Apples?”

Applejack drew a breath before sighing as she leaned against the side of the sofa, looking over at her. “It’s hard to explain sugarcube, but you should know by now that not everypony with a similar cutie-mark are related by blood. Take my aunt and uncle Orange, for example… or every pegasus with a cloud on their flank,” she mumbled as an afterthought.

“Huh.” Rainbow shrugged. “Guess that makes sense.”

“Hmm,” Rarity hummed as she looked blearily between the book and her friends. Slowly, a glint began to sparkle in her eyes. Smirking, she blurted out, “We should all give this a try!”

Everypony turned and gawked at her.

Unfazed, she continued, “This Double Date Dash? It wouldn’t have to be anything serious, of course, but…” She gestured with her hooves to everyone around her. “When was the last time any of us did something fun, really fun, that didn’t involve… well, this.” She tousled her mug as an example.

Twilight ran a hoof across her chin in thought. “Well… I’ll admit, it does sound kind of fun.” Ears deflating a little, she mumbled, “It’s too bad Pinkie couldn’t make it out tonight. I don’t know if she would want to give it a try or not…”

Gasping, Rarity craned her head up toward Twilight. “Goodness, Twilight! D-do you have a crush on—”

“NO,” Twilight suddenly shouted as she reared back from the mare. With everypony staring at her in shock, she fought hard to keep herself from blushing again. “I, uh… I mean…” Grinning awkwardly, she said, “Wh-why don’t you girls try it instead?”

“Hmph.” Crossing her forelegs, Rarity glanced down at her now empty mug. She levitated it to the end table before saying, “Well, I suppose I’m the one who got all worked up about it anyway…”

Grinning from across the way, Applejack said, “Yeah, why dontcha’ take Fluttershy there out on a date,” gesturing to the pair sitting across from her. “You’d be perfect for each other, what with you two always goin’ to the spa and what-not.”

“Really?” Rainbow Dash asked. “What do they have in common? Besides that, I mean.”

Blushing ever so slightly, Fluttershy glanced over at Rarity with the tiniest of smiles. “Oh, I dunno…” Fidgeting with her hooves, she muttered, “I mean… I wouldn’t mind, if you wouldn’t…”

Rarity smiled warmly at the mare as she reached a hoof out to hers. “Oh, Fluttershy, it would be an honor to take you out on a date!”

Smiling wide, Twilight now stood between the two of them from behind the couch. “Then it’s settled! We have our first pair.”

“Great,” Rainbow grumbled as she leaned back against the cushions. “But who else is gonna go with you?”

Only a few seconds’ silence passed before the mares on the other end of the room slowly, deviously looked their way with the thinnest of grins.

Rainbow Dash gulped.

Applejack promptly hit her over the head with her hat. “Ya crazy mare! Now look what ya gone did!”

“N-n-no way,” Rainbow sputtered as she threw her hooves out in protest, actually spilling her cider this time. “There’s NO WAY you’re gonna get AJ and I to go out with you. Nuh-uh, no way, not gonna happen.” She crossed her forelegs again and looked away. “You couldn’t even dare us to do it, right AJ?”

“Ya darn tootin’!”

__________

“I really hate dares,” Rainbow Dash mumbled in the warm afternoon air as she glided toward the outskirts of Ponyville.

Indeed, she and Applejack had agreed to go out on a ‘date,’ but only after Twilight and Rarity conspired against the two in a dare of bravery.

The last thing she remembered, Twilight had suggested her and Applejack were too afraid to try something new. Of course Rainbow had to defend her pride, so she told her to put her money where her muzzle was, even after Applejack tried to stop her. In the end though, it was Rarity who made a wager – a big one – that if the two could make it one hour on a double-date with her and Fluttershy, following the rules provided in Witherker’s book, that she would take on a dare they gave her in return.

Any dare.

On the flip-side, if they lost, they would have to pretend to be a couple around everyone else in Ponyville for one full week.

At the time, Rainbow believed this was a bet of a lifetime – and, in a sense, she still agreed with that philosophy even now. Being able to dare Rarity to do anything? That was way beyond awesome; even Applejack had been swayed with that prospect. And besides, they had figured at the time, one hour out on a ‘date’ with each other shouldn’t be so hard. They could just pass it off as hanging out together as friends like any other day. Surely that wouldn’t be so bad.

Or, so they had thought last night, at least.

Sighing under her breath, Rainbow landed on the cobblestone path leading into town. Trotting at a brisk pace, she tried to blend in with the other ponies around her, hoping that none of her friends might find her. For a brief moment, she hoped they might’ve forgotten everything from last night. After all, the cider was pretty hard – it was possible everyone had already forgotten the bet. But if anyone from last night caught sight of her who did remember, they would surely hold her to the bargain.

That bargain was slated to happen tonight at sunset. She was to meet with Rarity, Fluttershy, and Applejack at the boutique for a “fancy night out on the town,” as Rarity had put it.

Rainbow groaned in frustration as she turned a street-corner. It seemed fate had been conspiring against the pegasus ever since daybreak. The only reason she was even in town right now was to pick up food, as her fridge at home was completely empty, save a single bag of molded-over daffodils. Not wanting to take more risks than necessary, she bobbed and weaved through the crowd on her hooves as swiftly as possible until she came upon the marketplace. Without even thinking, she brought herself to a low hover in front of a vendor’s stalls to look over the goods.

Within seconds, a tingling wave of magic wrapped tightly around her tail.

“Wha–nngh… OW!” The pegasus slammed into the ground with a loud thud before being dragged back by her tail through the crowd. Struggling to turn and identify her captor, she caught a glimpse of a curly mulberry tail flouncing in the breeze.

“Come, Rainbow,” the eloquent voice of Rarity spoke. “If you are to go on a date, we must prepare you for the event. Properly.”

As Rainbow Dash was drug across the filthy cobblestone ground, she could only briefly think how ironic that statement was before she was hoisted into the air and thrown mercilessly into the confines of Carousel Boutique.

“Oof!” Stumbling to her hooves, Rainbow glared at Rarity, who was just closing the door behind them. “Seriously? You’re gonna hold me to a drunken bet?” Brushing herself off, she added, “Besides, you know I can walk, right? Or fly.”

Rarity trotted past the pegasus toward the stairwell. “Only too well. But a bet is a bet, and I’m not about to have you slink out of this one.” As Rarity mounted the first step, she stopped to glance back with a smirk. “Unless, of course, you want to forfeit for the alternative. It might be more fun just watching you two act like a couple for a week than go out on an actual date.”

Admittedly, that seemed a far worse fate to Rainbow than an hour out with some friends. Not to mention Applejack would never live it down if it came to that.

“Ugh… fine,” she eventually grumbled. “So what do I have to do here?”

“Follow me,” Rarity said as she made her way up to the second floor. Following begrudgingly, Rainbow was led into her work room, where a series of outfits had already been assigned to each mannequin. Immediately, she groaned at the sight.

“Rarity, you know besides the Gala, I don’t wear—”

The fashionista threw a hoof to Rainbow’s muzzle. “Nope! No arguments this time, Rainbow. For today, you are at the whim of Witherker’s rules.”

Rainbow slumped in place as she sat to her haunches, throwing Rarity’s hoof away with one of her own. “And what exactly are the rules?”

“Rule number one: A best friend should dress accordingly for a best date!”

Rainbow bobbed her head. “Uh-huh. Sure.” Glancing around at the various frilly garments adorning the mannequins, she spotted one in particular that was simple enough for her. Pointing with a hoof, she said, “Well, what about that one?”

“Hm?” Rarity glanced back at the grey outfit she was suggesting. “Oh, good heavens, no! That’s a work outfit I’ve been designing for the staff of Manehattan’s Boardwalk.”

“Oh.” Rainbow slumped even further. “Okay then…”

“Now now, Rainbow, I believe I have just the right outfit for you. Nothing too frilly, nothing ‘uncool’ – I promise.” Prancing over to a mannequin hidden behind the others, she pulled off a dress that was relatively simple in design, with casual use of pastels that accentuated Rainbow’s prismatic mane. As Rainbow examined the garment, Rarity magically lifted it up and over the pegasus to test its fit – much to her chagrin.

“Hmm…” Rarity slowly walked around the mare, examining her work. “The stitching could be a little tighter, but it’s not bad… the fabric highlights your frame well, at least.” She tilted her head each way to double-check the fitment. “Yes… it’s fancy, but not flashy… aggressive, but not intimidating… it fits your personality, to be sure.” After one more walk around, she stopped in front of the mare with a nod and grin. “Fabulous!”

“Not the F word I was thinking of,” Rainbow mumbled under her breath. “Besides, when did you have time to make this?”

“Well, a true friend is never without a couple of ideas in mind for circumstances such as these,” she said with a proud smile.

“You mean for bets?!”

“Ugh,” Rarity groaned as she rolled her eyes. “Truly, Rainbow, have you never once considered that perhaps someday, you might like to go out on a date? And if the opportunity arose, that you may need an appropriate outfit for the occasion?”

Rainbow stared at the unicorn with a flat expression. “No.”

“Humph!” Rarity snorted as she spun around. “That actually makes sense.”

“Well, now that you get it, could you please get this off of me?” She suggested to her dress with a hoof.

“Nonsense, Rainbow,” Rarity said as she walked over to a rolling closet. “Your date will be here momentarily as it is!”

“My…?” Rainbow squinted in thought. “Wait. Is AJ wearing a dress too?!”

Rarity nodded absently as she sifted through the various garments within the closet. “Indeed. I sent Fluttershy with her dress just an hour ago. The two should be arriving any moment now.” Picking out one of her more elegant pieces, she said, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get ready for tonight as well, so if you wouldn’t mind waiting downstairs…?”

“Y-yeah, sure,” Rainbow stammered as she turned for the hallway. Once she was out of earshot and heading down the stairs, she mumbled under her breath, “Jeez, a dress? For Applejack?… she’s never gonna forgive me for this.”

__________

         “Well, here we are!” Rarity stood proudly beneath the sign of their date-night venue, the hem of her blue and white dress billowing in a cool night breeze, as she turned around with a grin.

Lined up side-by-side as if waiting for permission to enter, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy stood. Off to one side, Fluttershy looked up at the sign, tilting her head curiously as she adjusted the collar of her honeydew dress. In the middle, Rainbow Dash fidgeted with her own gown, fanning her wings in and out with a scowl as she tried to find a comfortable position to rest them. Right beside the pegasus, Applejack squinted at the building, the emerald hues of her ensemble glistening softly beneath the moon’s light overhead.

Brushing her bangs back with a hoof, Applejack stepped forward. “The cafe? Ain’t this where y’all go for lunch?”

“Well, yes, of course,” Rarity answered. “But at night, the cafe offers a more refined menu and atmosphere, thanks to Savoir Fare’s impeccable taste. Here,” she said as she opened the door, suggesting inside with a hoof. “Ladies first!”

As Applejack and Rainbow Dash grumbled their way inside, Fluttershy followed, trying her best to stifle her giggles.

Once inside, it became clear just what Rarity meant: the cafe, normally known as an outdoor eatery for the small town’s lunch-goers, had an elegant interior not far removed from some of Canterlot’s establishments. Although the dining area was significantly smaller than some such restaurants, the atmosphere was warm and inviting, lit just well enough to see your way around, but dim enough to promote an intimate experience.

“Ah, bonsoir, Rarity,” a stallion in a uniform greeted the group with a smile. “Table for four, yes?”

“Why yes, Savoir, thank you.” Rarity curtseyed a little to the host in thanks. Glancing back a moment at her friends who were currently occupied with examining the place, she whispered, “I assume our seating arrangement has been properly coordinated?”

“Oui, madam,” Savoir answered with a knowing grin, “just as you requested.”

“Merci,” she said coolly, allowing him to lead the way. “This way, ladies!”

As the four were escorted to a table nestled near the back of the cafe, a waitress trotted up to the four and assisted in seating the mares.

“Oh, why thank you,” Fluttershy murmured with a soft smile as she took her place at one corner of the table.

“You’re most welcome,” the waitress replied. Pulling out another chair, she motioned for Applejack to take a seat.

“Um… mighty kind of ya.” With a tense smile, she took her seat and scooted forward, eliciting a slight grinding of chair against hardwood floor.

Cringing, Savoir finished seating Rarity and went to pull the other out for Rainbow Dash – just as she did so herself. “Thanks buddy, but I got this.”

Rarity grumbled from her adjacent spot as the pegasus settled in. Once everyone was seated, Savoir and the waitress laid out their menus and glasses. “Take your time selecting, madams, and we will return momentarily.”

“Thank you so much,” Fluttershy replied as the servers made their way back to the front. Looking around at the restaurant’s interior, she said, “Goodness, Rarity, I don’t believe I’ve ever been here at night.”

“It is quite the sight, isn’t it? Especially for a small-town establishment.” Rarity sat back in her seat and sighed pleasantly, relishing in the refined décor of the venue. “Oh, but I do hope you enjoy the selection here. They have a wide variety of delicacies, ranging from the simple made flavorful, to the—”

“Where’re the hay-burgers at?” Rainbow Dash asked as she flipped to and fro through her menu.

Without so much as an argument, Rarity yanked the menu from her with her magic. “Rainbow, have you no shame? Do you honestly expect them to serve hay-burgers in a place like this?”

“Beats me,” Applejack answered for her as she squinted at her own menu. “Half this stuff’s in fancy, so I can’t make hide nor hair of it.”

Glaring at the farmer mare from across the table, Rarity went to make a comment when Fluttershy spoke first. “Oh, it’s okay, Applejack.” Scooting a little closer, she pulled Applejack’s menu toward her where she could see, then pointed at the fine print beneath the names. “See? These describe each selection, so that way you know just what you’re ordering.”

“Hmm…” As Applejack squinted harder, she reached into a knitted pocket hidden within her dress and pulled out a pair of glasses. Slipping them on her snout, she reread the menu. “Oh yeah, I see it now… darn fine print these days, gettin’ smaller all the time—”

“Wh-wait a sec,” Rainbow stammered in shock as she leaned forward against the table. “Since when do you wear glasses?!”

Applejack looked above the rim of her frames at the mare with an incredulous expression. “What, these things? I’ve had ‘em ever since we met, sugarcube. Use ‘em for reading sometimes.” Smirking, she said, “You’ve really never seen me use these before?”

“I… don’t think so.” Ears folding a little at the tips, Rainbow looked down at the table as she sat back in her seat. She could feel her cheeks warming slightly.

“Honestly, Rainbow,” Rarity interjected as she hoofed her back her menu, “would it hurt you to at least be a little less flamboyant?”

“Oh, don’t worry, Rarity,” Fluttershy said from across the table. “This is new for her, so she’s probably just nervous, that’s all.”

“Nervous?” Rainbow scoffed as she crossed her forelegs, looking over at the mare. “There’s nothing to be nervous about! Why would I be nervous?”

Suddenly, a shrill voice spoke from directly behind her head. “Well, you sure look nervous to me!”

“Daah!” Rainbow’s wings flared out wildly from her sides, causing her menu to fly right off the table. Spinning around, she saw Pinkie Pie grinning right above her, flanked by an equally grinning Twilight.

Applejack was just as surprised as the pegasus, though not as flamboyantly so. “Land’s sakes, what’re you two doin’ here?”

“Well,” Twilight started, “somepony has to observe and make sure the rules are followed. Somepony from an objective standpoint, that is.” Walking beside Rarity, she patted the mare on the shoulder. “No offense, of course.”

“None taken,” Rarity replied as she magically returned Rainbow’s menu to her. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Catching her breath, Rainbow managed to stammer, “So, wh-what exactly does that mean, then?”

“Ooooh, can I tell her, Twily? Can I, can I, can I?” Pinkie bounced in place next to the alicorn.

“Yes, Pinkie, you can go ahead and—”

“Well,” she began, “Twilight here is going to act as the speed-date coach for you guys, and I’m gonna be her note-taker! Wee!” Her expression suddenly turned cold-stone serious as she said, “Anypony who fails to answer a question or breaks a rule will have a mark against them. The pony with the least amount of marks at the end of the night wins.” She grinned again. “Of course, if there are no marks against Rainbow or AJ at all, they win by default.”

         “Which basically means I’ll be watching over you guys until the food gets here,” Twilight finished for Pinkie  as Savoir and the waitress returned to seat them at a nearby table.

“Sounds fair to me,” Applejack said.

“Yeah… I guess I can dig it,” Rainbow agreed. “So what do we have to do, then?”

Taking the seat offered by Savoir, Twilight grinned deviously over at the pegasus. “You’ll see, once we’ve all ordered our food.”

Gulping, Rainbow nodded and grinned as confidently as she could in return. “Right. Well don’t you worry, ‘cause we’ve got this thing in the bag! Ain’t that right, AJ?”

“Ya darn tootin’!”

“Please,” Savoir commented from aside, “do watch your language, madam! This is a place of dining, not ‘tooting!’“

Applejack hung her head behind her menu as she fought back a blush. “Heh, uh… beggin’ your pardon…”

“Well, now that that’s all over with,” Rarity said, “let’s make our choices, shall we?”

And with that, the four mares at the table read through their menus. Rarity was the first to make her choice, motioning for Savoir’s return with a hoof. Once she finished, he took Fluttershy’s order next, then Applejack’s – who was careful to describe the dish rather than attempt to pronounce its name.

Eventually, it was Rainbow Dash’s turn. As Savoir walked up beside the mare, he said, “And what can I offer you tonight, madam?”

“Uh…” Squinting one last time at the menu, she pointed at a name. “That one.”

Savoir bent down with a smile to read her selection. Immediately, his expression jerked into confusion. “A-are you sure this is what you want to start with?”

“Yep. This is the one.”

With a slow nod, Savoir stood up straight and sighed. “Very well. Once I take your friends’ orders, I’ll hoof them over to ze chef.”

“Thank you again, Savoir,” Rarity said as she hoofed him their menus. With a slight giggle, she turned to Fluttershy. “And what did my dearest date tonight choose from the selection?”

“Oh, well, I went with the marguerites sautés avec le chou frisé. Something simple.”

“Oh, but of course,” Rarity said as she reached a hoof out to one of hers. “That is a simply marvelous choice.”

“Eeugh.” Rainbow made a gag-face. “Don’t tell me we’ve gotta be like that the whole night.”

“As a matter of fact,” Twilight spoke as she walked over, “there are no rules pertaining to the way in which you display your affection.”

“Phew, good, ‘cause—”

“There is, however, a rule stating that at all times, you must remain courteous and display affection often – however that might be defined by each individual’s tastes.”

Rainbow and Applejack glanced at each other from across the table. “Uuuhhhhh—”

Immediately, Rarity and Fluttershy began to giggle. “Oh gracious, will you look at our two friends here,” Rarity said. “I’ve never seen a couple so lost as to how to show affection!”

“Hey now,” Applejack argued, “nopony said nothin’ ‘bout havin’ to be sappy throughout this whole thing.”

“That’s true,” Twilight agreed. “But, it was clearly stated in the bet that each pony would have to follow the rules – and this just happens to be one of them.”

As Applejack and Rainbow groaned in unison, the others laughed – all except Pinkie, that is, who remained seated at her table, quietly scribbling notes.

Rainbow Dash noticed this out of the corner of her eye. Gulping once more, she looked up at Twilight. “So alright then, let’s get this show started! What’s the first thing we gotta do?”

Twilight sighed. “Gee, I didn’t know you were that eager to get this over with.”

“C’mon, Twi,” Rainbow said as she gestured with a hoof to herself, “do you really see me as the dating kind?”

“No, but you could at least be a little more courteous to your date.” With a smirk, she added, “You wouldn’t want her to think you don’t like her, do you?”

“Huh?” She scrunched her muzzle. “Who said I didn’t like AJ?”

“Rainbow,” Applejack grumbled through gritted teeth as she leaned toward the pegasus, “she’s just proddin’ ya at this point. Just shut up and let her do her thing.”

Glancing over at the mare for a second, Rainbow grinned sheepishly and said, “Uh-y-yeah, anyway… So, date night! Alright! Let’s date!”

Everypony groaned at that. Everypony, that is, except Pinkie.