A Gentleman in Training

by Denim_Blue

Rating: mature
Tags: Other, Romance, Sex, Slice of Life, Human, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 140429

A story of young man's beginnings as a professional provider of comfort and companionship for Equestria mares. It is a tale of love, laughter, and lust, all wrapped in the quaintness of a Gentleman's origins. Set within the Gentlemanverse.

Luck has a funny way of turning things around for us. Darren is one man who can attest to this claim. After living and working in the alien land of Equestria for over two years, his fortune takes a bad turn, and he's left in tough situation without a job. However, that all changes after a chance meeting with a mare who offers him a rather unique opportunity.

Follow Darren and his fellow Gentlemen as they begin their journey into the world of Gentlemen for Mares, a company that deals in the business of providing professional companionship for mares in need. From providing a tentative ear and a gentle smile, to a comforting shoulder to lean on or a lover's embrace, they will learn all the skills needed to take on such a demanding line of work.

It will be tough, and it will not all be sunshine and rainbows, but they've got the drive and the desire to succeed. Perhaps they will even learn a little more about themselves, too.

A story set within Demon Eyes Laharl's Gentlemanverse series.

Published 2015-07-25 00:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-04-19 20:36:04 UTC

Tough Luck

A Gentleman in Training

by Denim_Blue

Chapter One: Tough Luck

Everfree Forest was something of an enigma to the scientific community. Well, at least to the human scientific community. It had a climate that was, for the lack of a better term, independent of the rest of Equestria. Its wildlife varied so greatly from the rest of Equestria that many evolutionary researchers, human and pony alike, made a point of keeping species from the two regions separated in taxonomical studies. What was most baffling of all was how it somehow had remained relatively unchanged for the better part of one thousand years.

Earth could learn a thing or two from the Equestrians about conservation. Hell, if humanity had met them a few centuries ago, animals such as the Dodo may still be around, or even the Thylacine. I sighed to myself, thinking back on the silent film I’d seen on the extinct marsupial. Ah well, can’t change the past.

I cracked my knuckles before getting up and stretching, the sound reaching the ears of my companions.

“Ugh,” said a voice with a shudder. “Darren, seriously? What is it with you and those knuckles?”

I smiled at the stallion to my left, who was studying a rather healthy specimen of Poison Joke under a magnifying lens—from a discrete distance, of course.

“I’m hoping to get arthritis by the time I’m an old, cantankerous man, isn’t it obvious?” I joked. He shook his head and returned to his observing.

“So, what’s up with that slug?” asked one of my other colleagues, a unicorn mare. She blew a strand of her cornflower blue mane from her face and wiped her brow of sweat. “You’ve been looking at it for the past fifteen minutes, haven’t you? Find anything out about it?”

I glanced down at a bright orange and black slug that slowly made its way over a log, leaving a thick trail of mucus behind it. I took out a tongue depressor from my back pocket and scooped up a portion of the mucus, then put it in a sealed plastic baggie. I watched the slug for several more seconds before giving a shrug to the mare. “Aside from it’s color and that it can sense light and dark with its eye stalks? Nothing that I can tell. I’d bring it back to the lab to observe for a little while, but I’m pretty sure that’s against protocol.”

“Not to mention we don’t know anything about what or how often it eats,” noted the stallion.

I gave a grunt of agreement. “Well, the coloration suggests it’s probably poisonous, though I can’t be too sure. However, being dangerous is pretty much the norm for this place.” I sighed as I tucked a notebook I had been holding into my backpack. “I wish we had more places like this on Earth.”

“You mean like the Amazon rainforest?” joked the mare, giving me a smirk.

“Touché, Full Bloom.” I looked up to the dark canopy, only the barest beams of sunlight piercing through its numerous leaves. “Any idea what time it is?”

“Yeah, one second...” Full Bloom replied. She opened one of her saddlebags and produced a pocket watch. Her horn gave off enough light for her to read it. “It’s almost two in the afternoon. We have one hour before we’re scheduled to meet back at the pick-up zone.”

“I’ve got enough notes on the Poison Joke. That’s what I came for,” said the stallion.

I nodded. “Well, I’m good for today. Full Bloom?” I asked as I turned my attention back to her.

The mare gave a noncommittal grunt as she put her pocket watch away. “Same. None of the flowers I was looking for are in bloom yet, and Hemlock is our expert on Poison Joke.” I couldn’t miss the slightly annoyed tone she took on as she glanced over to the stallion.

The earth pony stallion chuckled. “Hey, not my fault they assigned me the most plentiful plant in the outer forest.” He packed up his own gear, ignoring the weak glare from Full Bloom.

“I studied Botany for four years at Vanhoover. You know I should have been responsible for researching it while we’re out here.” Full Bloom looked to me for support.

I just waved a hand and shook my head. “Hey, I’m not going to argue with Canterlot’s Conservation Department on who’s leading what. I’m not in that kind of position.”

“Darren, come on, you’ve seen my work! Hemlock’s all about medicine and antidotes, not—”

Hemlock saved me from getting sucked into another one of her rants. “Full Bloom, we’ll bring it up with Professor Wild Call when we get back to the lab, alright? Neither of us are doubting your expertise. Or have you already forgotten who suggested you be part of this little excursion in the first place?”

Full Bloom’s cheeks reddened, barely visible beneath her dark mulberry coat. “I...sorry, boys. It’s just...stressful.”

I gave the dark violet stallion a thankful nod, then looked to Full Bloom. “I know what you’re saying. It’s not easy for any us right now, but just try to remember what contributions we’re making with this research.”

Full Bloom’s frown vanished, being replaced with a small smile. “You’re right, Darren. I shouldn’t be complaining. You’ve got it the worst out of us three, I imagine.”

Hemlock let out a bark of laughter at that. “Yeah, you’ve managed to tick off a few of the ‘experts’. You don’t even have your...what’s it called...doctorate?”

I felt my own cheeks reddening as I nodded. “Y-yeah. Just a Bachelor’s in Biological Science. Nothing too special.”

“Darren,” Full Bloom began, her tone soft and reassuring. “You’ve been an amazing help to our research. Don’t sell yourself short like that.”

“Yeah, no one else cooks nearly as well as you do back at work during the company socials,” Hemlock added.

“Hemlock!” Full Bloom said, taking on a scolding tone. “Be nice!”

I laughed, though. Hemlock’s sense of humor had a way of rubbing you the wrong way if you took it too personal. His sarcasm and often less-than-appropriate jokes were a welcome distraction from the rather arduous work that took place at the lab, though. “Don’t worry about it, Full Bloom, he’s just kidding.” I checked around me for anything I may have missed, then continued. “Come on, if we get moving now we can make it to the pick-up zone with time to spare. I’m aching to get back to Hoofington.”

“Miss the bars already, huh?”

I rolled my eyes at Hemlock’s remark and pulled out my flashlight. Turning it on, I directed the beam of light towards the ground in front of me. While humans didn’t react as badly to Poison Joke—results varied from mild rashes like poison ivy to seeing colors when hearing certain pitches or frequencies and smelling odors from nonexistent sources—I wasn’t about to test my luck with the plant. Hemlock told me some awful stories about some extreme reactions to the plant from ponies, and I developed a healthy respect for the plant shortly after.

“Glory Weaver? Stern Shield? You guys here still?” I called out into the wilderness.

“Yes, Mr. Halverson,” replied a deep, masculine voice just beyond the range of my flashlight. I lifted it a little, revealing two Canterlot Royal Guards: our only real protection from anything dangerous that might decide to attack us. Both were unicorn, which gave me some comfort. Even a hungry Manticore would have more than a bit of trouble cut out for it if it went toe-to-toe with a duo of military trained unicorn stallions.

“Good, just making sure a cockatrice didn’t sneak up and pull a fast one on us,” I joked. The older stallion of the two, Stern Shield, gave a small laugh while Glory Weaver frowned a little.

“Cockatrices aren’t a laughing matter,” Glory Weaver said with a snort. “One of my buddies almost got petrified by one a month ago.”

“Oh, shut it, Glory. Boltstrike wouldn’t notice a dragon were it to land on Canterlot Castle’s roof and start singing that one human song, Copabonanza”

“Copacabana, Stern Shield,” I corrected. “Anyway, thanks for keeping an eye on us, guys.”

“Just doing our job, Mr. Halverson,” the older stallion replied. “Ready to head back?”

“More than you would believe. Looks like the mosquitoes here discovered the taste of human and can’t get enough of it,” I replied while slapping an arm. “Oh, that was a big one.”

Forty long, mosquito-infested minutes passed before we finally reached our designated pick-up point. The bright, green flame left to mark our spot flickered brightly in the small clearing, providing a beacon not only for us, but for the pegasi who would be giving us our ride back to Hoofington.

“Suppose they forgot where the beacon had been dropped, and wouldn’t find us until after sundown…” Hemlock began.

“Don’t even start, Hemlock,” Full Bloom said in a warning tone. “I don’t want to be out here any longer than I have to.”

About another ten minutes passed when we heard the sound of wings flapping above us. We looked up to see about four pegasi pulling a chariot behind them. They circled the clearing several times, then took a sharp turn and dove. As they touched down, they turned to give enough room for the carriage without crashing into the trees.

“Showoffs…” Glory Weaver muttered under his breath. Stern Shield just chuckled quietly as he approached the group of pegasi.

The pegasi were decked in the same armor as our two guard escorts. They took a cursory look at us, probably to make sure all five of us were present, then turned their attention to Stern Shield and Glory Weaver. “No problems?”

“None, though Mr. Halverson will probably need some ointment for his bug bites,” Stern Shield answered, getting a snicker from a few of the pegasi.

We boarded the chariot and were in the air within minutes. I leaned back and closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling of wind blowing through my hair. It had been a long day of fieldwork, walking, and more fieldwork, so I felt a brief nap was in due order.

“So, Darren, you heard anything from your family?”

I opened an eye and glanced over at Full Bloom, who was now looking away from me. I shook my head once.

“Oh...well...I’m sure they’re just busy. It can be tricky to send mail from Equestria to Earth, after all. Maybe they just haven’t gotten your letter yet?”

I shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe they’re just ticked off at me and my father is writing me out of his will.”

“I’m sure it’s not that bad,” Full Bloom said, trying to sound reassuring. “It didn’t sound that bad from what Mel told me.”

“That’s because Mel doesn’t talk about other people’s business. She’s my friend, and I doubt she’d be telling everyone about my life without me being there.” I sighed, “Just don’t worry about it, Full Bloom.”

“Okay…” Full Bloom replied, though I could sense that she didn’t sound very convinced. She would probably try to bring it up again in the near future.

Long story short, I had an argument with my folks about staying in Equestria for what might be several years. Most of the concern was from my father, seeing as I rarely spoke to my mother these days. My father claimed I was letting a bunch of aliens affect my beliefs and principles, and that I might never see him again.

What if the portal collapsed while you’re off in ponyland, galavanting around doing who knows what? He had asked me right before I had left.

As for my mother, I have no clue whether she ever got the letter I mailed to her that told her of my plans to move to the other side of the Neo Equinenox portal. To be honest, I’m not sure she cared.

My older brother and my dad’s younger brother were the only ones that really supported me, saying that I should seize the chance to cross over to another dimension and learn. Then again, my brother was all for traveling, seeing as he was actively involved in the United States military. In fact, he was still serving over in Gryphon right now from what his last few emails to me had said.

As for my uncle, he just wanted me to get out more often. He’d always told me that I should be living every day to the fullest.

Regardless of my father’s concerns, I still took the job offer in Equestria. After selling a good chunk of my possessions and converting my checking account and all of my savings to bits, I left Earth and caught the first plane to Hawaii, then the first available trip by sea Neo Equinenox, and never looked back. Most would be worried about the costs and how much it could ruin them, but…

Well, it did help that my uncle had a friend or two who worked in the federal government. It also helped that said friends got me set up for a cheap tickets, passport, and travel visa after I signed onto a joint project between Equestria and the United States Fish and Wildlife Service. Almost as soon as I signed the travel documents back on Neo Equinenox and got several shots for goodness-knows-what, I was tossed through the portal and came out in ponyland.

By the way, to anyone traveling to Equestria in the near future, going through a rift between dimensions does a real number to the stomach. No roller coaster in the world could compare to what I experienced, and I was just thankful I hadn’t tossed my cookies upon ending up on the other side.

It had been almost two years since I had arrived to Equestria, and it all been rather blurry for me with how much had happened at once. It was still a faster process than a visit to the DOT, though, so I didn’t complain much.

“Ah, home sweet home…” Hemlock said aloud as we descended on the town of Hoofington.

The chariot shook only slightly as we made contact with the cobblestone road. We got out and said our thanks to the guards, who made their way down the road, likely heading to the hotel they were staying in for the week.

Full Bloom, Hemlock, and I headed towards a two storied building with a sign out front that read “Ecosystems for Equestria” on it. Compared to the overall old-fashioned look of Hoofington’s buildings, this structure appeared rather new. The windows were fairly large and placed to provide as much natural sunlight as possible during daytime hours. If my memory was correct, the place also had geothermal heating vents. There were several large solar panels lining the rooftop, and lots of flowers for attracting local insects and birds.

It was an environmentalist’s dream house.

We made our way through the front doors, a soft jingle from the bell above the entrance signaling our arrival. The earth pony mare at the front counter looked up to us and smiled. “Hey, you three. How was the Everfree?”

“Humid, sticky, and dark,” replied Hemlock. “Darren found a slug, I looked at Poison Joke for a few hours, and Full Bloom may or may not have eaten all of our granola bars.”

“I packed those for myself,” Full Bloom defended. “I said you guys should pack your own food.”

I rolled my eyes and turned back to the mare behind the counter. “Is Professor Wild Call in right now, Quick Quill?”

Quick Quill’s ears folded back a bit, and she bit her lower lip. “Oh… um… yes. Actually, she was hoping to speak with you, Darren.”

I frowned. “Really? What about?”

Quick Quill sighed and shook her head. “I don’t know, but she seemed rather busy. She said go straight to her office when you have a chance.”

I glanced over my shoulder to Hemlock and Full Bloom, and both gave me equally clueless looks. “Um...okay, then. I guess I’ll go do that, then.”

Professor Wild Call’s office was on the far end of the main hall. I couldn’t help but feel a small knot forming in my stomach as I raised my hand and knocked.

“Come in,” called a mare’s voice on the other side.

I opened the door and poked my head in. “Professor Wild Call? You wanted to speak with me?”

A middle-aged earth pony mare with a light green coat and dark green mane looked up from a stack of papers she was reading. Her mane was done up in a messy bun, and she had noticeable bags under her eyes.

“Ah, Darren, come on in. Sorry about the mess.” She waved a hoof at several empty mugs of coffee. “It’s been a rather...hectic day.”

The tone in her voice lacked its usual peppiness. Even on her worst days, Wild Call was always willing to give you a smile and some words of encouragement. Heck, even on only six hours of sleep over a three day stretch, she still had more energy than half the staff did in the morning.

“So, what did you need to speak to me about?” I asked, smiling politely.

Wild Call sighed deeply and rubbed her temples with both hooves. “Darren, how long have you been working with us now? Two years and a few months?”

“Yeah, give or take…” I felt my smile waver. “Why?”

Wild Call shook her head slowly. “Headquarters is going through a major overhaul in restructuring. Lots of changes are being made…”

Oh no.

“...the Vanhoover branch had to lay off almost twenty employees, and I just got word that Canterlot is calling for our annual reports next week already…”

“Not to be a pessimist, but I’m not liking where you’re going with this, Professor,” I said, trying to laugh. “What are you getting at?”

“Darren…” Wild Call looked to her hooves and closed her eyes. “I tried. Please understand that. I fought tooth and nail with HQ, but they wouldn’t budge. Between the price of hiring Royal Guards to escort us in the Everfree, maintenance fees on the solar panels and wiring in this place with telephone lines and computers with online capabilities, the costs were piling up for headquarters.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose and spoke evenly. “How many of us did you let go?”

Wild Call looked up at me, clearly ashamed. She sunk into her seat and groaned softly. “Mel, Alex, Gabe, and you.”

I looked up, frowning. “What? Mel’s been fired? She’s more qualified to be here than anyone else! She has a bachelor degree in both Ecology and Wildlife Conservation, two of the most important things we focus on here!” Wildlife sunk further into her chair, only nodding in agreement as she continued to let me rant. “She would have finished her graduate classes in half the time most people back home do if she wasn’t invited to come to Equestria.” I had to laugh at how crazy this was. “Honestly, I can probably count on one hand how many people like her you could find in Equestria right now, and I’m not talking about degrees or doctorates. She’s got more skill and experience than ninety percent of the humans in Tellus right now.” I sighed while shaking my head. “She fits this place’s needs perfectly! What was headquarters thinking?”

“I… I had little say in it. Headquarters felt that the four of you were less than qualified to remain on board.” She closed her eyes once more and rubbed her forehead. “I’m so sorry, Darren. I know how much this place meant to you…”She stared at her hooves for a long moment before looking up at me, clearly expecting me to blow up at her.

Instead, I just let out another long sigh, and nodded. “I understand.”

Wild Call didn’t look convinced, but tried her best to smile anyway. “I’m glad. Alex… didn’t take it so well.”

I sat up, and gave her a serious look. “What did he do?”

She blinked, then opened her mouth and gasped. “O-oh, nothing violent, I assure you! He… well, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s building up his bar tab right now. Poor boy couldn’t even say two words after I told him the news. He just… got up, packed his things without a single word, and left. Mel was only a little better. She at least said bye to me and promised to keep in touch.”

“And Gabe…?” I ventured.

“I…” She shook her head. “He looked somewhere between punching a hole in the wall and asking for a hug. You know how he is. Always trying to play the tough-guy or pretend he’s just all smiles.” She blew a loose strand of mane from her face and rubbed a hoof over her left temple. “It’s going to be hard to replace him. He might not have been a biologist, but he was good with public relations.”

“Well, chances are that he’s with Alex at a bar, then.” I got up from my seat and made my way towards the door. I turned around to face Wild Call once more and gave her a small smile. “Well, Professor, I suppose this is goodbye.”

The mare’s frown deepened. “Please don’t say it like that. You’re a friend, not just an employee… erm… former employee.” She shook her head. “Sorry…”

I laughed weakly. “It’s alright. Anyway, I’m sure I’ll see you around town.”

She forced a smile. “Good. Um… I know you don’t have much to pack, but you have twenty-four hours to get everything that belongs to you out of the building. It’s just… company policy.”

“Not a problem.” I walked towards the door. “Thanks for everything, Professor.”

“Darren?”

I paused, my hand on the doorknob. I turned around and faced her, and felt the knot in my stomach tighten as I saw the worried look on her face. “Yeah?”

“Do you resent me at all because of this?”

“What?” I frowned, then shook my head. “N-no, not at all. This wasn’t your doing. You said it yourself: you couldn’t stop it.”

“Okay, then…” She nodded, satisfied with the response. “Keep in touch, okay?”

I smiled. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to disappear off the face of Equestria all of the sudden. I live a few blocks from here, after all.”

That seemed to help a bit. She gave me a small smile in return and nodded. “Take care, Darren. If you ever need a good word of recommendation, you know my contact info.”

As soon as I closed the office door behind me, I felt a wave of nausea hit me. Fired. Just like that. All I got was some half-baked explanation that my supervisor didn’t even really believe. Even worse, she had no say in the matter.

I don’t recall much after that. I think I went to my desk at some point, because almost fifteen minutes later I was walking out of the building with a box holding what few belongings I kept at my workspace. I think more than a few of my equine co-workers asked what I was doing, I’m not sure if I gave a response.

The walk through Hoofington was much like the walk through Ecosystems for Equestria. I was on autopilot, just going through motions and taking the route home purely based on memory. Within ten minutes I was opening the door to my apartment and dropped the box on the floor without a second thought. I stumbled over to my bed and plopped down on it.

“Well…” I said aloud. “...shit.”

End of Chapter One

Author's Note

Yep, I'm stepping into new territory here. This is the first story I've ever written with the Human tag! Be afraid, very afraid!

(cue lightning and thunder)

No, but seriously, though, I've actually been tending to this little beast for a while now. It's been in my Gdocs for at least a year now, and I finally decided to make something out of it. After discussing a few ideas I had with Demon Eyes Laharl, I started to hammer away and suddenly I had five more chapters written out. Kind of scary how that happens when you have an idea festering in your brain for so long.

Anyway, this is, in case you didn't already know, set within the Gentlemanverse. I owe a big thank you to Demon Eyes Laharl, AJ Aficionado, and Firesight for all the help in cleaning this up and providing me with feedback as I moved along with this fic. I recommend giving their stuff a look at as well if you're a fan of this story, so be sure to check them out!

Anyway, the next three chapters are available as well, so feel free to give those a look. Hope you enjoyed this so far!

Unexpected Bedfellows

A Gentleman in Training

by Denim_Blue

Chapter Three: Unexpected Bedfellows

As I left the café and headed down Flax Mill Lane, towards my apartment, I took in a deep breath. The late summer air was full of smells of flowers from nearby gardens, along with the delicious aromas coming from nearby restaurants. In another month or so, autumn would be upon Hoofington. I knew this for a fact because not only did the season officially begin in a month, but the weather ponies would actually bring in autumn-weather cold fronts to ensure it did. Taking the uncertainty out of weather was something that I’m sure meteorologists back on Earth had a mix of love and hatred towards, but I appreciated it more than I thought I would. You knew the general weather patterns for the coming week, and any major storms or weather patterns were given a fairly accurate timeframe to occur. If there were any changes made, the weather ponies made sure it was known as soon as possible.

For now though, I enjoyed the summer while it was still around. Hoofington autumns were beautiful, but winters could be downright brutal. I remember Full Bloom once explaining to me while we were out in the Everfree Forest that the rogue weather patterns from the forest often contribute to Hoofington’s weather, and that the ponies adapted their schedules to work with it as best as they could.

“Darren!”

The sound of my name being called out snapped me out of my thoughts. I glanced around and spotted a familiar mulberry-coated unicorn approach me. Huh, speak of the devil…

“Full Bloom?”

Sure enough, it was her.

She looked troubled, and my smile dropped as she got closer. I dropped down to one knee to better talk to her, only to be almost be bowled over as she wrapped her forelegs around me in a hug. “I’m so sorry! I heard about the news at work today!”

It took me a second before I returned the hug as best as I could, patting her back a bit. “H-hey, stuff like that happens. I’ll be okay.”

Full Bloom pulled back, still frowning. “Everyone at work is upset about it. Professor Wild Call let us go home early after we got what we needed done for the day. I think she needed the break as much as the rest of us.” She sighed deeply. “So… how are you doing?”

“Better than yesterday,” I chuckled. “I got a job lined up already, actually.”

The words had slipped out before I could even bite my tongue. I must have had looked worried, or something must have given that away, because Full Bloom’s own expression became concerned. “Something wrong?”

“Huh, oh, no. Just a little stressed, that’s all.”

Full Bloom cocked her head to the side, her eyes studying me for a moment longer before she smiled a bit. “So, where are you working?”

I hesitated, wondering if it might be better to lie. Though, knowing Full Bloom, she’d figure it out sooner or later. The mare had an uncanny knack for calling out someone when they were lying, I had come to learn. “You’re not going to believe me.”

That got a reaction out of her. She blinked several times, then whispered. “Are you part of the Canterlot Secret Service?”

“What?” I chuckled. “No, no, nothing that cool… if it actually exists.” I let out a breath. “I’m going to be working for Gentleman for Mares.”

Full Bloom blinked once. Her mouth slowly went slack, then the corners of her lips lifted as she smiled. She let out a laugh. “You almost had me there.” After a few seconds of silence from me, her eyes widened. “Oh… wait, you’re serious, aren’t you?”

“Yep.”

“I… I’ve heard of that place. They’re sorta like a comfort horse business.”

Now that term made enough sense for me to need no elaboration. “Yeah. That’s what I understand, at least. There’s more to it, though, from what I was told.”

Full Bloom sighed. “Well, that’s… unexpected.” She smiled, but it looked forced. “You’re okay with it?”

“I’m coming to terms with it. It’s not like I’m being forced into it.”

She frowned. “You’re sure? You shouldn’t do anything you’re uncomfortable with.”

“I’m… yeah, I’m okay, Full Bloom. Just a little antsy, I guess. I mean, given the nature of the work I’ll be doing, it’s…”

“Daunting?” She suggested.

“That’s actually a great way to put it, heh,” I chuckled. “I mean, I’ll be honest, I’m no Chris Hemsworth, so I’m not sure how well I’ll do with playing the role of an attractive male human.”

“Chris Hemsworth? Who’s that?” Full Bloom asked. “Wait, is that one of those human celebrities I hear about from Mel all the time?”

“Y-yeah…” I sighed. “I suppose he’d be the human equivalent of one of your popular Bridleway stallions, but less hooves,and an Australian accent.” I paused. “Are mares into accents?”

Full Bloom smirked. “Honestly, Darren. I don’t think comparing yourself to celebrities is fair. You’re not ugly, if that’s what you’re trying to say.”

No, I suppose not. Still, my mop of tawny brown hair had always been a tad unruly, and I tended to have a bit of a five o’clock shadow on any given day. I stood under six feet in height, and wasn’t much in the rippling muscles and chiseled jaw department…

… I have been complimented on my ‘soulful gray eyes’ on more than a few occasions, though.

“No, but I’m sure I’ll need to work on my appearance a bit. Probably change my wardrobe, too. I have a few places in mind that specialize in making formal wear for humans. Isn’t there a place in Ponyville that’s pretty familiar with human fashion?”

Full Bloom’s smile fell a bit, but she chuckled softly. “You’re adorkable sometimes, you know that?”

I rolled my eyes. “You’re hanging out with Mel too much if you’re saying things like adorkable.”

“Not my fault you humans are rubbing off on me so much,” she chuckled. Her expression became more serious. “You’re absolutely sure you’re okay with this?”

“It’ll tide me over for now. I’ll… look into something else in time, I’m sure. It’s just that the job market for a biology grad isn’t that huge in Equestria. You ponies kinda have most of this world figured out already.”

“What about rent? Will you be able to cover it with this job?” She asked with a frown. “If you need me to lend you some bits or need a place to stay, I can—”

“Full Bloom,” I said, cutting her off in a gentle yet serious tone. “I’ll be fine. I’m not helpless.”

“I’m just trying to help,” the mare said, scraping the ground as her ears flattened. “You’re a good friend, and it wouldn’t be right to let you fall on hard times without lending you a hoof.”

“That means a lot to me,” I said, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Trust me, though. I’ve been through worse than this. Okay?”

“Okay…” she relented. “Just… promise me that if you find yourself in a tough spot, you’ll talk to me?”

“I promise,” I replied.

“Good, and you better keep that promise,” Full Bloom huffed.

“I can’t tell whether I should be worried or amused by how serious you are with all of this,” I laughed.

“Sorry for caring, geesh,” she grumbled. “It’s just… I don’t know, I guess I don’t know many humans, and… you were one of the first to be friends with me, you know?”

“All I remember was how you and I got stuck studying Equestrian lichen for almost two weeks together, and how many times we just brought our work to that local diner near the park to do our work.”

Full Bloom stuck her tongue out. “I ate so many alfalfa sandwiches during those two weeks…”

I laughed. “Still can’t look at them without getting sick?”

“The alfalfa was slimy and wet and… guh…” She shook her head. “You omnivores have it easy. We can’t digest some foods like you can.”

“Hey, you’re hindgut fermenters, just like us.”

“Nerd.”

“Says one of the leading expert on Botany in central Equestria,” I countered, earning a annoyed groan from her.

“Look, I just wanted to make sure everything was okay. I was actually on my way home when I saw you.” She paused for a few moments, then continued. “So… when do you start?”

“Wednesday. I have a few days off, actually.”

“Really?” She brightened up. “Did you want to grab something to eat?”

“I actually just had lunch,” I replied.

“Oh…” She let out a sigh. “We used to always grab lunch together.”

“Hey, who’s to say we still can’t? It’s not like I’m moving out to Las Pegasus or to the Crystal Empire. I’ll still be here.”

That seemed to brighten her mood up. “Are you free later?”

“I can be,” I answered. “I was thinking of maybe seeing a movie tonight, actually.”

“By yourself?” Full Bloom said with a frown. “Really?”

“Well, I don’t often have a free weekend to myself. I thought of maybe catching one of the movies from an Equestrian film studio.” I chuckled, then added, “Though, it’s always funny watching how you ponies react to one of our films from Earth.”

Full Bloom rolled her eyes, and shook her head in amusement. “I suppose I could spare a few hours and see a film. How about you meet me at the Reel Big Films Theater in an hour and we can see what’s playing?”

“Sounds good. Should I dress up for the occasion?” I asked jokingly.

Full Bloom, to my surprise, just smiled. “Depends. You plan on making this into a date or something, Mr. Halverson?” She winked, then added with a sultry voice, “I hear the back seats of the theaters are perfect for having some privacy.”

I chuckled, only to stop when I took a good look at the expression on her face. Was she… batting her eyelashes at me?

“Uh… what…?”

Full Bloom’s bedroom eyes fell apart as she snickered before breaking into a laugh. “Oh, wow, that was too easy.” She waved a hoof when I arched an eyebrow. “Sorry, I couldn’t help myself…” She let out a final chuckle, her smile never leaving her face as she settled down. “Mel was right, though, you’re easy to tease.”

“Figures.” I said, sounding perhaps a little more annoyed than I intended. “Did she tell you to say something like that?”

Full Bloom’s smile fell a little, and she nudged my leg with a hoof. “Hey, come on, Darren, I’m just teasing you.”

I smirked a little, then sighed with feigned exasperation. “I know, that’s all you seem to do to me these days. Makes me wonder what exactly it is you talk about with Mel when I’m not around.” I grinned when her cheeks flushed a tad. “It would make sense that you would talk about me to my ex-girlfriend.”

“It’s nothing like that,” she said quickly.

“Of course not,” I said airily.

“Darren…”

I put up my hands and laughed softly. “Alright, alright.”

Full Bloom let out a snort and flipped a bang out of her eyes. “Anyway, I guess I’ll see you in an hour?”

“You bet. Think they have one of the Power Pony movies showing?”

Full Bloom let out a snort. “I wouldn’t know, but I’m sure that if they do, the movie will have some cute little mare in a tight suit for you to ogle the whole time.”

“This is going to be a thing now that I’m working for Gentlemen for Mares, isn’t it?” I asked, already knowing the answer. I was okay with it, though, truthfully. Full Bloom could be a real stick in the mud when she was doing research and work, but she was a pretty cool pony and fun to hang out with when you got to know her.

She smiled up at me and held out a foreleg, silently beckoning me closer. I grinned and accepted the hug from her as she curled both forelegs around my frame. As I returned her embrace with my own two arms, she hummed quietly in contentment.

“Horns.”

I blinked, thinking I misheard her. “What was that?” I pulled away from her embrace and was greeted with a goofy grin from the mare.

“Horns,” she tapped her own horn as she explained. “Just a little something to remember if you get a unicorn customer.” She then made a gesture with the hoof, going up and down her horn; a kind of gesture you wouldn’t do in front of polite company.

“Um…” I coughed into a hand and stood up, knowing full well my cheeks were probably reddening. “Thanks.”

She giggled. “Try it out, and you can thank me when your client becomes putty in your hand.” She winked, and made her way down the road. “I’ll see you at the theater, okay?”

“Y-yeah, see you at the theater, Full Bloom.”

Full Bloom trotted off, a little spring in her step. She seemed rather pleased with herself, for whatever reason. I had a few ideas, but trying to figure out Full Bloom so far had proven to be a fruitless endeavour, so I didn’t dwell on it.

A little perplexed by my equine friend’s behavior, I continued another block or so before reaching my own apartment on the second floor and unlocking the door.

It was a rather humble apartment, having a small kitchen area, a small living room, a bedroom, and a bathroom. No true air conditioning, unfortunately, but the water and heat were included in my rent, so I had no complaints.

Though, the ‘frost crystal’ contraption that served as an Equestrian equivalent of an air conditioner never seemed to work that well. I had to have the landlord stop by and look it over twice this month alone. She was a nice mare, a widow from a small herd with two grown mares of her own. She knew a hundred and one different ways to fix a leaky pipe and patch up a broken wall, but I wish the same could be said about her fixing magic, crystal-powered machines. Being an earth pony, I can’t fault her on having a bit of challenge in that department. All I knew about it was that if I pressed the blue button it turned the thing on, and the red button turned it off.

Upon entering my humble abode, I walked over to my laptop and turned it on. The internet in Equestria is rudimentary at best compared to what they have back on Earth, but it still allowed communication.

After connecting to what my human friends and I dubbed the ‘pony-net’, I checked my email. Much to my surprise, I had something in my inbox. I checked it over, and smiled. The internet was a bit pricey, but I had reasons for paying the costs. It was one of the few ways I could keep in touch with one of my closests family members.

From: Riley

Hey, so the griffies and Uncle Sam decided yesterday that I’ve earned some leave time and got me a free ticket back to ponyland. The guys are giving me crap about it, but my CO won’t budge on the decision. Seeing as I’m one of only a handful of corpsman on this side of the portal with any experience in working with the griffins, I can see his point. I’ve been busy training them on first aid on the field, but it’s a slow-going process. They’ve been relying too heavily on mages to handle the healing stuff. I don’t blame them, but I keep telling them that it helps to have knowledge on other methods.

I’ll be heading to Hoofington in a few days, probably arrive sometime next week Friday, with my friend Mildred. She’s a griffon soldier like myself, a mage actually, and carries a staff that shoots lightning and casts barriers. Not kidding, she can pull off classic D&D shit, and she’s good at it. She’s awesome and funny; you’d get along with her. Apparently, she’s my guide while I’m on leave since her parents raised her in Equestria, so she’s familiar with the land.

Anyway, if you could meet me at the Hoofington train station sometime around noon on Friday next week, I’d appreciate it. I hate to bother you, but would you be willing to let us crash at your place for a few days? I don’t mind sleeping at a hotel, but Mildred and I have only so much money to spend. Later, bro.

Riley

P.S. - Mildred wants to watch the Lord of the Rings while she’s on leave. Probably heard about it from the guys after a skirmish we had some time ago back during the last few weeks of the Cloven attacks. If you can bust out your DVD set for me so we can watch it, that’d be great. Thanks!

So, my older brother apparently had earned some leave. He had been deployed to the Gryphon Kingdom some time after the initial fights with the Cloven broke out. As a Corpsman, Riley was responsible for treating injured on and off the battlefield, and I know for a fact that he had done a bit of fighting as well. I didn’t know too much about the specifics, since I rarely got to see him these days. Email and the occasional phone call were about all I got, so seeing him face to face was something of a special occasion for us now.

I was a bit surprised that he’d be coming into town with a griffin. His emails rarely talked about the actual violence that he dealt with, but he gave me plenty to be jealous of with how much he talked about the griffins in general. The griffins had quickly formed a deep respect for the Marines that had fought alongside them during the first days of the Cloven attacks. Apparently Equestria’s winged allies have a long history of warrior culture like humans do, so bonding with the Marines made some sense.

To say I was scared back when I found out that Riley would be facing down undead Cloven monstrosities was an understatement. I was still in school at the time, so even if I wanted to go to Tellus with him, that would have been next to impossible for me to afford. Riley was tough, and smart, but he was also the kind of guy that wouldn’t hesitate to put someone else’s safety before his own. It was part of why he wanted to be a Corpsman. Obviously, his training helped keep him from getting killed on a battlefield, and it paid off, seeing as survived the Cloven. That had been some time ago, and as he had said in the email, he now spent most of his time helping with training future griffin medics.

Either way, I was relieved he was still doing well and excited that he would be visiting. I had kept my old futon for this very purpose, after all. For as long as I had been out of college, I had always made sure to have something for my brother to crash on if he decided to pay me a visit out of the blue.

After finding no further emails, I logged off of my computer and hopped into the shower to clean up. By the time I had gotten out and toweled off, I had about forty minutes to spare before I was supposed to meet Full Bloom at the theater.

I looked over my wardrobe selection, and sighed. Sadly, aside from a few nice long sleeve shirts and a polo or two, I had very little in the way of formal wear. My job that had brought me to Equestria in the first place was one that didn’t require office attire, and if anything, it was expected that I would get my clothes dirty while working.

As such, most of my comfortable clothing was either a little tattered, or was far from what one would wear in a formal setting.

Deciding on one of the few pairs of khaki jeans I had and a comfortable, black collared t-shirt, I threw on a pair of loafers I kept for such occasions and headed out, locking my apartment behind me. The theater was only a fifteen minute walk from my place, so I had time, but I liked being early for gatherings. That and I wanted to get a look at what was showing on the big screen. If anything, I wanted Full Bloom to see a real masterpiece from Earth. That or have a chance to see an Equestrian film for myself.

There was also the possibility of seeing a new film that included human and Tellurian actors. There were probably only a dozen or so at most right now, but I knew for a fact that Marvel Studios and DC Comics were in talks with some of the Equestrian comic companies right now.

With that in mind, I picked up my pace. The cinema was beckoning to me, and, be it Earth or Tellus, I was not one to refuse the call.

“You laugh at me now, but you’re going to be eating your own words before we’re through watching this movie,” I said to Full Bloom as we sat down in theater number four. Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark, much to my pleasure, had been brought over to Equestria. I don’t know who paid who for it to happen, but it was worth it.

Full Bloom, who had brushed up her mane and put it in a nice ponytail—no pun intended—rolled her eyes while smiling. In all honesty, while I tried to look at least a little bit presentable for this impromptu night out with my dear friend, she barely had to try.

She snickered at my words, “Coming from you, and just by looking at the poster for this movie, I can tell that you’re being biased here. It looks like a Daring Do knock off. Action, fights, hidden treasure, and a cool protagonist. Right up your alley.”

“A Daring Do knock off?” I repeated. My smile fell away, and I narrowed my eyes. “Take that back.”

Full Bloom smirked. “No. You have a few Daring Do books anyway, so I think I’ve made my point.”

“Daring Do is cool, sure, but she has nothing on Indiana Jones. Has Daring Do ever used a bullwhip?”

“What?” Full Bloom asked with a snort of laughter. “Is that a serious question?”

“Indiana Jones does, and he does it with style and badassery,” I said, giving her a smirk of my own.

“I still think it’s a cheap knock off.” She then added. “Badassery isn’t a word, either.”

“Okay, fine,” I said as the lights began to dim. “If, by the time this movie is over, you’re still not impressed, I’ll buy you dinner.”

Full Bloom arched an eyebrow just before I lost sight of her features to the dark. “Deal…” She paused for a moment, then added. “If I am impressed, I’ll buy us a few rounds at any bar in town after the dinner that we split the cost on.”

“What?” I said. “C’mon, that’s not fair, I still end up paying for some of the dinner.”

“Hey, we never planned on a dinner in the first place,” she countered with a chuckle. “You’re getting free rounds at a bar out of it if you win.”

I frowned. Knowing Full Bloom, she was probably already planning on not liking this movie just to get a free meal from me. Then again, she wasn’t much for lying.

“You’re on the honor system, you know. If you liked the movie, but say otherwise, it’ll come back and bite you in the ass.” Of course, that wasn’t really true at all, but I liked to think karma existed at least on some level.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be honest.” Full Bloom’s patted my hand with a hoof reassuringly. “You sure you don’t want to grab a different seat? Most of the seats are made for ponies specifically…”

I had to admit, the seat I was in could be a bit more comfortable. Sadly, while Hoofington had been rather welcoming to the growing influx of humans, they had yet to adapt to fully adapt to us. I sighed, and looked around in the dim lighting of the theater. “I could go for a large spot, yeah. I feel cramped in this chair.”

Full Bloom looked around as well, then pointed to a spot I could barely make out in the dim lighting of the theater. “There!” She whispered. “Come on, before the movie starts.”

She ended up finding a large seat big enough for two ponies to sit in. Not too different from the loveseats you’d find in theaters back on Earth, the seat was made to be shared by a couple.

“Um…” I looked to her and then to the seat. “You sure this is the—?”

She cut me off, grabbing my hand with her mouth, biting down just enough to get a good grip and pull me down into the large, and admittedly comfortable, seat. “Seriously, Darren, it’s not a huge deal. Besides, it’s a little chilly in here.” Without saying another word, she scooted closer so that she was nestled against my right side.

I lifted up my arm and placed it along the back of the chair to give my arms a much needed stretch, only for Full Bloom to take advantage of the space provided and scoot even closer. I looked down at her, and she gazed up at me innocently. “What?”

“Nothing,” I lied.

I couldn’t see her face that well in the dark, but I could tell she was grinning. “You’re adorable, you know that?”

“What?” I asked, looking down to her.

The screen lit up, but before the movie trailers started, Full Bloom lifted a hoof and gently booped me on the nose and giggled, “Nothing. Let’s just enjoy the movie.”

As we walked out of the theater, I was pleased to see and hear all the ponies who had been watching the movie with us discussing the first Indiana Jones film.

Two older colts, probably in their teens, passed us by and were talking animatedly. “That beginning part when Indiana was walking to get that idol, that was so crazy! It was just like the way Daring Do did it in the Sapphire Stone!”

“What? No way, Indiana Jones was so much smarter about it! He used that sandbag and everything!”

“Pssh, yeah, and he still activated the trap anyway. Besides, she had a harder time getting to the statue, since she had to step on the right tiles.”

I grinned to myself, and couldn’t resist entering their conversation. “Just you wait until you see the third movie.”

The two colts looked up at me. “Huh?”

I kept walking, but spared them another glance. “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. It’s the third movie of the series. Just… remember that scene with Daring Do and tiles when you see the third movie.”

As Full Bloom and I continued, I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“You’re such a kid,” Full Bloom said with amusement. “You know what, I’ll admit it: I liked the movie. A lot more than I thought I would.”

“Sorry we didn’t see any Equestrian films like you had suggested.”

“Nah, don’t worry about it. There’s always next time.” She laughed, “It’s crazy, though. I remember reading the first Daring Do novel, and it was a lot like that Indiana Jones film.”

“Freaky, huh? Raiders of the Lost Ark is still considered a great film, and it came to theaters over thirty years ago back on Earth.”

Full Bloom’s eyes widened a fraction. “You’re kidding, right?”

“No, the first film was made in… 1981, I believe.”

Full Bloom just shook her head. “The Daring Do novels have been around for almost… twenty-five years or so now? Maybe a bit more. The thing is, Daring Do aged with the series. In the Quest for the Sapphire Stone, she was still a teenager. I believe with the most recent novel, she’s got to be in her mid forties now.”

“I… wait, in The Griffon’s Goblet, Daring Do and her… mother worked together… wasn’t that the third book of the series?”

“Yeah, it was written about five years after The Mines of Minos,” Full Bloom replied.

I frowned, and thought out loud. “The Last Crusade was released five years after…” I shook my head. “Nope, not going there. Probably best if I stop thinking so hard about it.”

“What’s wrong?”

I just waved a hand. “Don’t ask, otherwise it’ll drive you crazy.” As Full Bloom gave me a confused look, I continued, “So, where do you want to eat?”

“Actually, I’m not too hungry, but if you want we can stop somewhere and you can get something to eat.”

I arched an eyebrow. Full Bloom was a light eater, she always had been. I’d seen her bring a lunch on occasion, but she usually left most of it untouched. Something about how she always ate a huge breakfast before going to work.

Now that I think about it, I can’t really recall a single time I’ve seen her actually eat anything at work. She’d eat in her office, or didn’t eat at all.

“You sure? I don’t mind paying, Full Bloom, you know that.”

Full Bloom’s smile grew a little. “You’re sweet, Darren, but I’m fine.” I frowned, and she just chuckled. “If it’ll make you feel better, I’d be fine with a large chocolate mocha from the cafe down the road.”

I sighed. “All the caffeine is going to catch up to you one of these days.”

“Three cups a day isn’t that bad, Darren. Hemlock is the one you should be harping on.”

“Yeah, but at least he admits he’s addicted to caffeine.”

Full Bloom pouted cutely. “Please, Darren? Just one teeny, tiny mocacinno for little, old me?” I swore I saw her eyes water up with tears.

“Fine, fine, but only because you liked the movie.”

Full Bloom awarded me with a giggle and a cheeky grin. “You’re the best!”

After a late lunch consisting of a vegetarian sub that had more kinds of vegetables than I thought possible on a sandwich, Full Bloom and I headed to the park to kill some time. The sun was on its descent through the sky now, but it was still in the sky, and the bars would open for another two hours.

“So, uh, Full Bloom…?”

“Hm-hm?” she asked, drinking her large cup of mocha through a straw, her magic holding the drink in front of her with a glow of green light.

“Were you… joking about that thing you said earlier today?”

She gave me a knowing look, but asked, “What thing?”

“Horns,” I said, clearing my throat. “Is it true that if I touch a unicorn’s horn, it’ll… you know, turn them on?” I scratched behind my ear and looked away from her. “Er, sorry, maybe I shouldn’t—”

“Yep, it’s true. Well, every pony’s a bit different, but yeah, I’d say that’s a common erogenous zone for unicorns.” She giggled as my cheeks flared up. “You don’t need to be so shy about it, Darren. For Luna’s sake, you’re going to be tending to mares for a living starting next week. Heck, if you want I can let you borrow a few books of mine.”

“What, you have a book collection on sex tips for Equestrians?” I asked, half-jokingly.

“Four of them, actually, yeah. One is on pegasi, one covers different position combinations between all three tribes, and the other two are sort of a general advice books on how to spice up romance.” She flushed a bit when I gave her an odd look. “I… had some bad dates in the past. Figured I’d read up a bit on the topic and see if anything would help. They’re useful, but I haven’t had much of a chance to test anything that I’ve learned from them.”

Well, why not? I nodded. “Yeah, I’d actually appreciate that. Whatever books you think might help, that’d be great.”

Her grin grew. “Cool, remind me later to lend you them, then.” Full Bloom’s smile grew devious as she added with a bit of a huskiness in her voice. “Soon Gentlemen for Mares will be paying me for giving them the greatest Gentleman of all time.”

I snorted with laughter. “And your true motives are revealed.” Her feigned, sinister cackling only spurred me to laugh louder. “Thanks, though, Full Bloom, you’re the best.”

“No problem, Darren. It’s what friends do.” She walked a bit closer, and nudged me with a foreleg. “But back to your original question, yeah…” She tapped her own horn delicately with a hoof. “You know how the horn is full of nerve endings?” I nodded. “Well, that makes it sensitive. Get a mare or stallion all raring to go, and just brushing it with a hoof, or in your case, fingers, will more than likely feel amazing to them. Just… be sure not to set off an involuntary magical expulsion. Last thing you want is some raw magic hitting you in the face.”

“Has… that ever happened?” I asked, not liking the idea of a bolt of magic smacking me at point blank in the mug.

“Not to me, but… yeah, you hear about accidents like that every so often. I mean, they’re never really that serious, since magic is influenced by a lot of things, like emotions and the will of the caster. If you’ve got a mare who’s all hot and bothered expelling a hot load of magic on your face, it’ll probably be more embarrassing than painful.”

“A hot load of magic. Thanks, I needed that visual.”

She just chuckled. “Hey, if that ever happens, let me know how it goes for you. It’d probably be good for a self-help book to sell to stallions having trouble pleasing their mares.”

“Not exactly what I’d like to be known for if I were to become a renown author, but I’m sure you’d sell them like hotcakes.”

Full Bloom smirked. “Sex sells, but…” She went quiet for a moment. When I looked to her, she turned to face me and said quietly. “Just remember, Darren: sex is great, but it’s not a replacement for the emotional needs of a pony. I’m pretty sure the same goes for humans, doesn’t it?”

I smiled, and gave a nod of agreement. “Yeah. You know, you never struck me as being so wise on romance. You sure you’re not leading some sort of double life as a sex therapist?”

“Ha!” She barked out a laugh. “I haven’t had a relationship with anypony in years, so no, I can assure you of that. I’m a bit out of touch with some of the stuff that you’d need to know for that line of work.” Her smile softened as she looked ahead. “I’ve had stallions and mares that gave me some wonderful nights in the bedroom that rocked my world. There were also ponies I dated who knew next to nothing when it came to sex.”

“Go on.” This seemed like a personal thing for her, if the way she was starting to fidget had anything to do with it.

“The thing is, it was the dates that treated me as someone they were genuinely interested in, someone they wanted to know better, that stuck with me, not the ones that were good at rutting me.” She waved a hoof idly as she continued. “I won’t lie, though, the rutting was still great.”

I had to admit, this was the first time I’ve ever talked with Full Bloom like this. Usually whenever we were hanging out when not working, it was with other co-workers at a bar or some local establishment.

This was different, but I still was enjoying it. Just… different.

“Sounds like you were quite the playmare back in the day,” I joked.

“Back in the day?” She arched an eyebrow. “You make me sound old. I’m only twenty-eight years old, Darren.”

“I’m only twenty-four, so yeah, you’re a bit older than me.”

She glanced at me, and smirked. “Cute. It’s usually the young, inexperienced males that strut around like you are.” She hummed to herself, then added. “Those were also the ones that usually needed me to show them where to put what when we did the two-way tango.”

Oh, I was so not going to take that lying down. “You know, some might call you a cougar where I come from.”

“Huh?” She cocked an eyebrow, giving me an odd look. “A cougar?”

“Yep. Stalking the young and helpless prey and pouncing when they least expect it.”

For a moment, I thought I might have gone too far with the joke when I saw her jaw slacken a bit. Then she began to laugh, and we had to stop so she could calm down.

“Okay, that’s a good one.” She sighed, a small giggle escaping as she shook her head in amusement. “Well, there’s plenty of those in Equestria, then.”

“A land full of ponies and predators, huh?” I let out a dramatic sigh. “I may not make it with this job, then.”

“Nah, you’ll do fine,” Full Bloom said, and she sounded rather sincere. “It’s Gabe I’d be worried about.”

“He’s dating a mare, apparently.”

“Really?” She smiled brightly at that. “Good for him, he needs a girl in his life.”

“Yep, an earth pony named Amber. I actually met her briefly earlier today. She seems nice.”

Full Bloom tilted her head to the side, and gave me an odd smile. “Earth pony, huh?” She let out a thoughtful hum, and continued down the path leading out of the park.

“What?”

“I always had Gabe pegged as a guy who would be into unicorns.”

“I don’t try to peg Gabe down to anything. He’s unpredictable, even after spending years knowing him.”

“Well, regardless, I’m sure you boys will do fine in the business.” She nodded towards a street as we walked out of the park area. “Come on, I know a great place that’s begun catering towards humans that you’ll love. They’ve got these shots of alcohol called a yay-gurr bomb or something. Apparently they’re popular in your country.”

Jäger bombs? I paled only a little as my mind flashed back to my not-too-distant college days. In hindsight, I never really liked those drinks, but I was young, and admittedly stupid. Alex and Gabe’s influence probably didn’t help me much during my moments of blissful intoxication, either.

“So many missing sweaters…” I said with a wistful sigh.

“What was that?” Full Bloom asked.

“Just me rambling,” I replied with a dismissive wave and a lopsided smile. “College memories.”

Full Bloom’s cocked her head to the side again, a curious gaze in her eyes. “I’d love to hear about a few of those memories.”

I smirked, and gave a look that said, ‘You sure about that?’, which she replied with a simple nod.

“Well, let’s see. There was one time that Gabe, after getting fairly drunk off of tequila, decided to run through campus one night in late December, right before school let out for the holidays…”

I learned a few things about Full Bloom while we were at the bar she had found.

First of those things that I learned was her fondness for cider. By fondness, I mean that she is able to put away six or seven bottles in an hour period and is still able to walk a relatively straight line. It was sort’ve scary to see her pounding away the bottles while I was nursing my second bottle of Guinness. She had a Jäger bomb or two before dipping into the cider, mind you.

It was Sweet Apple Acres cider, and aged a bit, too. Say what you want about ponies and alcohol, the Apple family in Ponyville knows how to make a good, strong cider.

Second thing I learned is that while I still suck at darts, Full Bloom had some level of skill when it came to the game. Full Bloom beat me at every game, and she was happy about that, so it was all good.

Third thing I learned: Full Bloom is a very affectionate, happy drunk, which I had discovered shortly upon leaving the bar right around closing time.

“You’re so warm…” Full bloom said as she nuzzled against me.

Now, blame it on my inebriation, or maybe I had just become so comfortable to her closeness after today, but I ever since we had left the bar, my hand had found itself resting comfortably on her neck, scratching it gently with my fingers every so often. I’m no expert on this stuff, but I’m pretty sure scratching a pony’s neck can be implied as a sign of intimacy. If so, Full Bloom had yet to call me out on doing so.

“Hey,” she began, nudging my leg with her snout. “Let’s go to my place and get those books for you…” She giggled, then added, “... Mr. Gentleman.”

“Lead the way, my lady,” I said with a sweeping, exaggerated gesture of my hands. She raised a hoof to her mouth and snorted with laughter, then lifted her nose haughtily. She flicked her tail, and lightly walked ahead of me with an exaggerated lifting of her hooves with every step. She didn’t make it very far before stumbling a bit, the alcohol having begun to affect her sense of balance a bit.

I caught her before she tumbled to the ground. She laughed as I helped right her once more, “Such a noble male,” she purred, batting her eyelashes.

“I just don’t want to have to carry you all the way back to your place if you knocked yourself out,” I joked, earning a light slap of her hoof to my chest.

“Hmph. Just when you were starting to be nice,” she said, sighing dramatically. “Where have all the good stallions gone? Woe is me, to live a life surrounded by buffoonish colts pretending to be stallions.”

“Aw, c’mon, Full Bloom, you’ll find a stallion some day.” I said playfully. “Any pony with half a brain could see how awesome you are.”

That seemed to give Full Bloom pause. She dragged a hoof across the road while staring at a patch of grass growing between two cobblestones. “I guess…”

“Okay, what’s up?” I asked, getting down on one knee so I was face to face with her. Something I said apparently bothered her, and I planned on rectifying that. “You don’t think that’s true?”

“I…” Full Bloom looked to me and smiled awkwardly. “Not many stallions would consider me an ideal mare. I’m very independent, and I’m not afraid of speaking my mind.”

“I’d say those aren’t really bad things, but go on.”

She chuckled, “Well, most herds require cooperation. I… well, like I said, I can be a bit abrasive. I don’t mind the concept of sharing, and I’m not against intimacy with mares if the mood strikes me, but…”

“You’re afraid you’d tick off someone in a herd and cause problems?” That earned a solemn nod from the unicorn.

Herds were, to put it into a human term, a harem, of sorts. Usually it was one stallion and two or more mares. It was the norm in Equestria, considering that the birth rate for a colt was heavily outweighed by the rate of fillies born. Such things weren’t too alien to me; you see such things like polygamy in the animal kingdom all the time.

Even so, ponies from Tellus aren’t like the animals I know that exhibit polygamy. Ponies have very similar emotional needs like humans, and if you have one stallion whose attention is being stretched between multiple mares… well…

“You’ll find someone. You’re going to catch the eye of a stallion, preferably a really smart one who can appreciate your huge brain, and he is going to fall madly in love with you. Heck, even if he’s already got a herd, I bet you’re going to win over the mares, too. They’ll be arguing over who gets to spend time with you, and—”

“Oh, stop,” Full Bloom cut me off with a weak laugh, then sniffled, wiping her eyes. “You’re such a big-hearted doofus, you know that?”

“I’ve been told something like that. My grandmother said I got it from my grandfather.”

Full Bloom met my gaze once more, and the unshed tears gave an extra sparkle to her vibrant emerald irises. She looked away for a moment, biting her lip a bit, her tail swishing from side to side a little.

“You alright now?” I asked gently. “I wasn’t trying to embellish anything, either. You’re an awesome mare, and anyone who says otherwise is a complete moron.”

When she met my gaze once more, I couldn’t help but feel a warmth spread through my chest. It was pleasant, familiar. “Darren… do…?”

I barely registered the fact that our faces had gotten closer since I knelt down beside her. I could smell the fragrant, tangy, crisp aroma of cider on her breath. I sort of felt bad for her, since I was fairly certain having three Guinness beers didn’t do much for my own breath.

Without warning, Full Bloom closed the distance between us, her lips mashing with mine. I felt electricity run down my body upon contact, but… I didn’t pull away. The kiss was awkward, namely since I was still as stone while she, in her tipsy state, hadn’t aimed quite on target with her kiss. My nose was now a bit wetter, and the fruity scent of fermented apples hung heavily in my sinuses.

Still…

I slowly wrapped my arms around her.

Really? Is this happening?

I gave the voice in my head a moment’s consideration. Full Bloom was my friend. One of my first pony friends, and by far one of my dearest. If we let this go much further, it could complicate things.

It was at that moment that an odd memory from my days as an awkward teenager rang out in my mind. They were words of my Uncle Lenny, who had said the following: Darren, now I know you’re young, but someday you’re going to notice girls. Now, if a pretty little lady tells you she likes you, if you feel the same, you’d best let her know right away or you’ll be kicking yourself for not doing so.

Did I like Full Bloom like that, though? I wasn’t quite sure. Hell, I was still coming to terms with my admission to finding ponies within the realm of being physically attractive. I mean, fantasy novels and videogames that touched upon such topics like other intelligent species interacting with humans was one thing…

This, though? This was a real, living, breathing, and admittedly cool mare locking lips with mine. Well, there was the magic part that came with her being a unicorn, sure, and that was sort of a fantasy novel element depending on how you looked at it…

Right, Full Bloom, okay…

By now, Full Bloom had placed her forelegs on my shoulders to better angle herself. I almost toppled over from the sudden weight, but managed to remain kneeling and support her.

You know what? Why not? If it doesn’t work out, then at least I can say I gave it a try. She’s a nice mare. Hell, she has probably dealt with me better than any previous girlfriend I’ve had, and that’s saying something, considering Mel and I are still good friends.

My hands were shaking—seriously, shaking—as I returned the kiss. I wasn’t sure how it would work, at first, given her snout and facial shape, but… honestly, I found no difficulty in reciprocating her at all.

She let out the softest of moans, and pulled away from my lips, breathing heavily. Her cheeks were flushed, and her tail was flicking from side to side so hard I was worried it was going to snap off at any moment. “D-do you want to go and… and get those books at my place now?”

I could see the hunger in her eyes, a look that was easy to identify despite our difference in species.

“Please,” I replied without thinking.

She smiled, and locked lips with me again. When she pulled away a second time, she was smiling brightly. “I-I’ve wanted to do that for so long now.” She giggled like a schoolfilly as her forelegs squeezed my shoulders gently.

“Really?” I asked, genuine surprise in my tone. “Why… then why—?”

“I wasn’t sure you felt that way about ponies. I mean, I never saw hints of you feeling that way about mares, and given your history with Mel, I thought that maybe you were only interested in humans. When I found out you were going to be working as a Gentleman, though… I…” She laughed sheepishly. “I have to admit, I sort of planned this on the spot.”

I grinned. “You sneaky filly.”

Full Bloom’s embarrassment vanished instantly, replaced with worry. “Please don’t take that the wrong way! I-I wasn’t trying to take advantage of you, Darren, I promise. It’s just, you looked like you needed some company, and… well…”

“It’s alright,” I said in a reassuring tone. “Honest, I’m okay with this. I… seriously, it’s been a long time since I’ve been with someone. It just surprised me, that’s all…”

“I don’t want you to worry about your work, either… i-if this is going to be an actual thing between us, I mean. I’m… I’m okay with you being intimate with other mares—and oh my gosh I’m sounding like we’re already dating—”

I decided to calm her nerves, placing a hand on the back of her neck and pulling her in for yet another kiss. Her words died with a soft moan as our lips met. When I pulled away after several moments of teasing her lips with my tongue, I gave her a soft smile.

“It’s okay. I appreciate you telling me that right off the bat.” I squeezed her neck with my fingers, gently kneading the muscles as she let out a soft gasp from the contact. “I think it’s good that you’re okay with me doing that kind of work, and I love that you’re willing to be upfront with me right away. Communication is key, after all.”

Full Bloom’s smile wavered a bit, but she managed to chuckle. “Thanks…”

My smile grew a little devious, and with dexterity I didn’t think I possessed after drinking a few shots and several bottles of beer, I placed a hand on her back and scooped her up bridal style… or as close as you could get to bridal style when said individual in your arms was a mare.

She let out a whinny of surprise, but it quickly died down. “H-how did you…?”

I promptly lost my balance, and fell backwards, Full Bloom landing on my stomach and knocking the wind out of me.

“Ow…” I groaned.

“Oh my gosh, Darren?!” She got off of me and checked me over. “Are you okay?”

“Fine, fine. Nothing hurt but my pride…”

She clucked her tongue. “You doofus.” I felt the soft tingling sensation of her magic gently lift my head up, and she gave me a half-lidded smile as I regained my balance. “That was incredibly adorable, though. You get an A for effort, Mr. Gentleman.”

I slumped a bit. “So much for giving you your first experience of being carried by a boyfriend.”

Instead of laughing, though, her smile grew mischievous. “You could still carry me…”

By the time we reached her apartment, my shoulders were a tad sore, and my arms were getting weak. Full Bloom, mercifully, used her magic to open the door as I carried her into her apartment on my back, piggyback style. She flicked on a light, allowing me to see where I was going.

I carried her to the bedroom upon her request, and promptly fell upon the bed as she fell into a fit of giggles, bouncing once upon the cushy mattress.

I felt her hoof touch my shoulder, and I turned around to meet her eyes. They were dancing with a fire, and it was only then that I realized I was in the bedroom of a woman—excuse me, mare—and said mare had spent the better part of the last hour making out with me on the streets of Hoofington. Said mare was also showing definite signs of arousal, the way her breathing was just a bit heavier, the fact that her tail was smacking the mattress every few seconds, and the distinct smell of something that smelled like her, but…

I felt my cheeks flare up, and her hoof slowly rested upon my cheek. “Darren?”

“Um… I…” Okay, yes, Equestrian courtship rituals can be a bit fast paced compared to humans in certain cases, and I understood that, but I couldn’t help but feel nervous. It was embarrassing, and I didn’t want to offend her, and it wasn’t like I was a stranger to sex, but—

“We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to,” she whispered softly, petting my bangs as she smiled at me.

If I wasn’t certain about giving a relationship with Full Bloom a try before, I was now.

“It’s not that… I’m just…” I scratched my neck. “This is happening a bit quickly for me.”

“I understand,” she continued, scooting closer. “I’m not going to pressure you into anything… but I wouldn’t be against taking this further, if you want.”

“You’re sure?” I asked.

She frowned, as though offended by the question. “Darren, if I really cared about you, do you think I’d be pushing you to rut me right now if you didn’t want to?”

“No… and I wouldn’t do that, either.”

Her smile returned. “I’m serious when I say I’ve wanted to be with you for a while. You’re sweet, a bit of a dork, and a bit of a nerd from time to time. That and I honestly haven’t met a mare or stallion who’s so easy to talk to.”

“My Uncle Lenny always told me I have a knack for making any topic sound interesting if you give me enough time to talk about it.”

Full Bloom hummed, and rolled over so she was on top of me, her chest and barrel resting on my torso comfortably.

It wasn’t that much of a surprise when, given the physical contact, and the heat between us, that she managed to cause certain reactions from me. Her hips were wiggling quite a bit, after all…

She arched an eyebrow, a cattish grin forming on her lips as she glanced back to my groin area. “Hmmm?”

I just smiled. “Um…”

“Sorry,” she said, a mixture of teasing and genuine sympathy in her voice. “I… that was a bit unfair of me to do that. I said I don’t want to put you in a corner here. We can just be like this, if you want, no—”

“I never said I was against doing anything else tonight,” I said.

Full Bloom’s eyes widened, and for a moment her tail ceased moving. “Huh?”

I kept my eyes locked with hers and gave her sides a gentle squeeze. That earned a gasp from her, and it was only then that I realized my hands had wandered to her flanks at some point.

“I guess… I guess if my first mare is going to be anyone, I’d like it to be someone I’m comfortable and familiar with.”

Full Bloom’s tail began swishing rapidly once more, and she licked her lips several times as she whispered shakily. “Y-you’re being serious?”

Instead of voicing a reply, I instead reached for her neck with a hand and slowly lowered her in for a deeper kiss. She moaned, and I could feel her tongue begging for entrance. I obliged after only a moment’s hesitation, and was rewarded with what may have very well been the most aggressive session of tongue wrestling I’ve ever had.

Full Bloom was a passionate mare, I had come to realize. It wasn’t too surprising. She put her entire being into her work, to the point where she would become sucked into her research and blatantly ignored anything and everything around her unless you physically tore her away from her work. A highly inadvisable move, by the way, because she would likely reprimand you for doing so with a rolled up newspaper or heavy taxonomy book over the head repeatedly.

The same could be said about her when she made out with someone, I quickly learned. Her hooves wandered my body as she would gently nip at my neck and lips. I did my best to return her affections, but was finding myself overwhelmed.

A good kind of overwhelmed, just to be clear.

I gave her flanks a squeeze once more, a little harder this time, eliciting something akin to a squeal and moan combined into a single, adorable and sexy sound. She pulled away, her eyes gleaming and her smile like that of the cat that had cornered the canary.

It was a little intimidating, but it didn’t stop the smile from creeping across my face.

Her horn gave off an emerald light as she undid the buttons of my collared shirt with her magic. I chuckled as she fervently undressed me, my belt buckle already coming loose as I attempted to pull of the shirt that she was already tugging at.

Before I knew it, I was lying beneath her, my torso and legs bare to the world. Only the thin layer of fabric that was my boxers separated me from the soft fur of her mulberry colored coat.

It was at this point that she gave me a coy smile, and rolled off my stomach while turning around. Her tail flagged to the side a little as her demure smile became a smoldering grin, her marehood exposed for me to take in.

I reached out with a hand tentatively, only to pause and look at her. She raised her eyebrows for a moment and gave me an encouraging, almost pleading nod. So, seeing no reason to delay any further, I placed a hand on her hind quarters and gently ran a finger over her slit with my other hand, earning a shuddering gasp from Full Bloom.

“S-so…” she began, her legs trembling a bit as she gently probed her entrance with my hands, feeling my digits becoming slick with her fluids. “I-I take it you know what’s what back there?”

“Hm, I don’t know… how about you tell me?” I smirked, and slowly sunk a digit between her lips. She went ramrod straight, and gasped loudly.

“Oh, buck!” she moaned loudly. When I pulled out my finger, now soaking in her juices, she looked at me with a grin that promised that I’d be paying dearly for that stunt. “Someone’s getting bold…”

“Well, I can stop if you want me—”

“Like hay I want you to stop,” she cut me off, her tail briefly swishing left and right. “C-could you… with your fingers?”

“Gladly,” I replied, getting onto my knees and pulling her towards me. The bed creaked as we adjusted ourselves, and her breaths came out in steamy gasps as I inserted my index and middle fingers into her marehood. I slowly pumped in and out as she moaned, lifting her rear up higher while her head plopped onto the mattress. She bit down on the sheets as I pushed a bit deeper with every thrust, earning a few squeals of pleasure from her.

“H-harder,” she whispered desperately.

I silently met her request, and her gasps and moans sound became a string of intangible murmurs of pleasure mixed with my name every few seconds. I could feel the heat radiating off her body in waves, and I won’t lie, I was finding my boxers a bit too tight for comfort right about then.

It was then that an idea struck me. It was perhaps a risky one that may earn a reprimand from Full Bloom… but I doubt she’d be truly upset with what I had planned.

Slowly, I dragged my free hand across her stomach, grazing her teats with my fingers and causing her back legs to wobble as she attempted to keep her balance. Gently, I picked her up by the stomach and pulled her up into a sitting position before lying down, her back against my stomach.

“W-what are—ohhhhhh…”

One hand remained draped across her lower belly while tending to her slit as the other began to gently tease her horn. I was going in blind, listening for cues of approval from her.

“Y-yes, mm…” She whimpered, biting her lip as I continued with my ministrations.

So far, so good. She liked it when I ran my finger along the spiral of her horn, it seemed. Teasing the base really got her off, too, as her back legs kicked every so often while she moaned my name.

I boldly pressed my lips to her horn, and gave it a gentle nip with my teeth.

“Mmmmphhhhhh!” Full Bloom squealed and bit down on a hoof. I felt her inner walls suddenly tightened over my other digits as she climaxed without warning. She shuddered a bit, riding out her orgasm as I held her close, feeling her barrel’s rise and fall with every breath she took.

Her mane was a mess by now, her ponytail having come loose, curly strands of her cornflower mane draped over my body. Beads of sweat ran down her body and on to me as she slowly, gradually, came down from her blissful high.

When she finally came to, she laughed weakly. “W-wow…”

I smiled at her remark. That was a promising sign. “So… was that good?”

“Good?” she echoed, chuckling again as she rolled over so that we were belly to belly. “Darren, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’ve done this before.”

“I… have had experience with other women,” I replied honestly. “It’s not too hard to adapt. The horn thing was all your fault, though.”

She grinned and gave my lips a lick. “Okay, true, that was my fault for falling into that trap. Good job, though…” She nipped my neck and whispered into my ear. “Loved how you used the teeth, by the way.”

Full Bloom sat up, and I could feel her marehood’s fluids running onto my stomach as she looked down at me. “If you don’t mind… I’d like to try you out, now.”

With an eager nod, I reached for the hem of my boxers, only for her magic to pull my hands away gently as she shook her head. I gave her a look, almost pleading, and she chuckled.

“No. Let me do this,” she whispered, pressing a hoof to my chest and moving it in small circles. “Please…”

Well, how could I refuse such a request?

She slowly grabbed a hold of the hem of my boxers with her teeth and tugged them down past my waistline. Her eyes widened a fraction as she stared at my manhood, standing at attention for her to see.

“Mel wasn’t kidding when she told me about the way human males look compared to stallions…”

Now, Mel was a good friend, make no mistake. However, she could be a little mean from time to time. Nothing too harmful, but…

“Uh, she didn’t say anything too insulting about us compared to stallions, I hope…?”

Full Bloom looked up at me, and chuckled. “Relax. I’ve read textbooks on human anatomy, and she only told me what I wanted to know. Nothing bad.”

“So…?”

“I like what I see,” she answered, returning her attention to my erection. “I’m curious about how this will feel, though.”

“What, Mel didn’t tell you anything about that?” I joked. “Sounds like you two were conspiring to get me hooked up with you.”

“Oh, we had ideas,” she replied, reaching out with a hoof and gently probing my erection, pleased with the groan that she got out of me. “In the end she said if I shake my rear in your face enough you might get the hint.”

Okay, not entirely flattering, but it’s Mel. It could be worse, I guess. “Well, consider the hint noticed.”

Full Bloom just smirked as her horn lit up again. I watched as a gentle green aura surrounded my manhood, and I kid you not I nearly lost it the moment she began to ripple her magic up and down my length.

“Oh shit!” I gasped as I sat up a bit, my hips bucking involuntarily.

She stopped, eyes wide with what I perceived to be worry. When she saw me flush a deeper red in the cheeks and breathing heavily, she grinned. “I take it that’s a good thing?”

I shuddered a bit and nodded. “Yes, I don’t know what you did to make it feel that good, but that was awesome.”

She gained a smug look at that point, and let out a hum. “Well, I’m not an archmage, but I have a decent level of control over my magic. Kind of need to in order to collect samples, make recordings on plants, put up a field to keep insects from biting me, and provide light while walking through dark forests…”

I realized right then and there that I had fallen completely to Full Bloom’s mercy. I was dealing with a mare that knew exactly how to work her magic, and I recalled that she was capable of holding some of those spells for several hours at a time without tiring.

I squirmed involuntarily as she encased her magic around my length once more.

She must have sensed my unease. “You okay?”

“Y-yeah, just… it’s the first time I’ve been telekinetically stroked, you know? It’s not a bad thing, but lots of different stuff I’m experiencing. Your magic’s got a feel of its own to it, and then when you move it around like that…”

She laughed softly. “Such a flatterer…” She smiled. “I’ll go slowly, then.”

“It’s… been awhile for me. Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” she whispered. “I’m enjoying this right now.”

With that said, Full Bloom began to slowly stroke me with her magic. Now, unicorn magic is as unique as the fingerprints of a person or the iris of a human eye. I don’t remember where I read it, but scientists have reported that no two patterns of pony magic, in this case unicorn based magic, will ever be exactly alike. They can be copied to the point of near indistinguishability, but never exact. Something about the frequency, waves, and other measurements used. Humans are still trying to put relatable terms to a lot of the magic in Equestria, but I believe one article referred to these combined factors as ‘arcane’ waves. Cool name, if anything, and I think a few pony researchers like the term.

Scientific jargon aside, a simpler way of putting this uniqueness to words is the feel of magic. Hemlock, for example, in the few times I’ve had him pull me up from the ground or push me away from an animal of some sort in the Everfree, has a rather cool, almost breeze-like feel to his magic. One time a unicorn guard had checked me over after a rather large spider bit me, and his magic felt like being swathed in a blanket of humid air; it was heavy, warm, and dense.

Full Bloom’s magic, probably because of the closeness and the current duration of my exposure to it, was something altogether different for me. It was like having a gentle, electrical current run through me. Not painful, but it definitely could be felt with every pulse. The best I can describe it is like that. A soothing, electric current that relaxed me and made me go rigid all at the same time.

Needless to say, my mind was having a hard time staying coherent.

While tending to my length, she crawled back onto my stomach, and I groaned as I felt the heat from her inner thighs against my groin. Her horn’s magical glow lit up her face as she closed the distance between us, allowing me to see her smile in its wonderful, verdant light.

“Not going to lie,” I managed to say between breaths. “I’m kind of jealous of that magic. Opposable thumbs are nice, but…”

Full Bloom’s own smile became more sympathetic. “For what it’s worth, Darren, those fingers of yours leave very little to be desired.”

Ever the considerate mare, that Full Bloom. Who knew she had such a way with her words?

Full Bloom seemed to sense my growing ache, and lowered her muzzle to my level and whispered gently. “R-ready?”

I replied by wrapping both my arms around her waist and nodding. “Whenever you are.”

Full Bloom adjusted herself and slowly, carefully, lowered herself onto me.

“Nnnm…” I moaned into her neck as she immediately tightened around my length with every inch of me that she took in.

She was doing about as well as I was, letting out little whimpers and wrapping her forelegs around my shoulders. “I-I think I’m going to need some help, here, heheh…”

Happy to oblige that request, I slowly began to thrust. She gasped as our hips connected, and before I knew it she had obtained a hold of my lips with her own. It seemed like she didn’t have much of an idea what she wanted to do, though, for moments later she was nipping at my collar and licking my neckline.

If it weren’t for the fact that I was so enraptured right now by the whole ordeal, I would have found her to be absolutely precious.

“Y-you…” She said softly between breaths. “You know, rutting belly to belly is a little kinky for us ponies…”

I snickered. “If you think this is kinky, then you need to learn about some of the other positions humans created.”

“Maybe you could teach me…?”

I grinned. “Maybe.”

I rolled us over so that we were both facing each other while on our sides. I lifted one of her back legs up, and she moaned loudly as I found myself thrusting a bit deeper into her. We began to pick up the pace, the rhythm of our grinding becoming disjointed and fervent.

“D-Darren…” She panted into my ear. “I-I’m going… I…”

I nipped her ear, not too hard, but in her current state I would be surprised if she didn’t feel that. Her breathing hitched, and she went rigid, her inner walls clamping down on me tightly as I felt her second orgasm. I let go of her leg and forced myself to slow down and allow her ride out her climax while she mumbled my name and held me desperately in her forelegs.

Truth be told, I was riding on the razor’s edge myself as well, and her muscles contracting over my length was only encouraging me to release as well.

“H-hey…” She mumbled, looking at me as though in a haze. “You’re still hard, and I know you didn’t cum yet…”

She rolled onto my stomach yet again and assaulted me with a peppering of kisses and licks. She began grinding her hip over my length once more, grunting and moaning with every movement. Her long, curled locks of mane were now draped over me, blocking out the soft lamplight from the far corner of her room. I could barely make out her eyes as they gazed into mine, and the faint, tangy smell of cider still hung on her breath. When our lips locked, this time I felt her tongue pressing against my lips, begging for entrance that I eagerly granted her.

It was quickly becoming too much. It had been a long while since I’d been intimate with another woman, nevermind a sapient Equestrian mare. Between her tongue wrestling with mine, her hooves and how they were greedily running over my chest and arms, and her bouncing hips that pumped my length for all that it was worth, I found my will to hold out failing.

“F-Full Bloom, I’m…” I made to lift her off, only for her to press down.

“No,” she said, not forcefully, but with a clear insistence in her tone. “Darren, finish inside.”

“I-inside?” I blinked. “S-seriously?”

She giggled, a sultry yet endearing sound. “Yes. You think that I would be letting you rut me without wearing protection if there was a risk for conceiving?”

Ah, that was true.

She dragged her tongue along my neck and traced it down my pulse, her steamy breaths sending a wave of euphoria through my being.

"O-okay," I managed to groan out, my control slipping further and further by the moment. At this rate...

“Please,” she whispered between nips. “Do it!”

My toes curled as she pressed down on me hard, her inner walls clenching as she took all of me in. I let out a moan that I couldn’t hold back, and found myself call out her name while wrapping my arms around her tightly.

I felt incredibly drained after I climaxed, though it was far from unpleasant. I closed my eyes and held Full Bloom close, who was now gently tracing circles over my bare torso while planting soft kisses on my neckline.

“Thank you…” she whispered. “Thank you…”

I smiled and nuzzled her mane, taking in a deep breath of her floral scent. “That’s my line,” I murmured into her fur.

She chuckled softly, and I heard the hum of her magic briefly before her lamp was turned off with a soft click, then felt the sheets of her messed up bed cover us.

I opened a single eye and could make out the faint features of her face in the moonlight that washed over the bedroom. In my post-coital state, a thought ran through my mind.

“You think anyone saw us going at it through your window?” I asked. Sure, she was on the second floor of her apartment, but Equestria had plenty of winged races…

She snorted softly and hummed. “If they did, I’m sure they enjoyed the show.”

Pulling her closer to my chest, I whispered softly. “I really don’t know if I want to fall asleep and wake up to find out this is just a really lucid dream.”

She planted a chaste kiss on my lips. “Don’t worry, Darren. It’s real… or someone is casting one of the best illusion spells on me that I’ve ever experienced.”

I let out a yawn, and rested my forehead against her neck, earning a content sigh from her.

“Get some sleep, Darren…” She ran a hoof over my hair. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Promise…?” I asked half-jokingly.

“Yes,” she answered, kissing my forehead for a long moment. “I’ll even make us a huge breakfast.”

“Ohoho no you don’t,” I muttered with a chuckle. “I’ll make us breakfast.”

I could feel the frown she was giving me as I closed my eyes again. “Are you doubting my ability to cook?”

“No, I just like cooking.” I ran a hand through her mussed up mane, feeling her relax under my touch. “Consider it your first breakfast made by me as your boyfriend.”

She seemed to be thinking it over for several minutes if her silence was any indication. Eventually, she let out a soft chuckle and sighed. “I like my eggs scrambled with a few slices of rye toast.”

“That all?” I laughed before yawning again. “I can do that in my sleep.”

I felt the pleasant nibbling of her teeth on my jawline, just below my ear, and she whispered. “You can start getting fancy with the recipes later on.” She finally seemed to settle down, and snuggled up against me, draping a back leg over me as her tail brushed against my leg. “We’ve got all of tomorrow to worry about showing off our culinary cuisine skills…”

Giving a nod of agreement that I’m not even sure she saw, I let out a deep sigh. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been so… exhausted… after sex. I had heard from a few stallions at my work in the past tell me how their respective mares were quite a handful sometimes, especially when they went into heat…

Oh no… will I be ready for that with Full Bloom?

I assumed she experienced the same stuff as any other mare, and if she was like this when she wasn’t going through her cycle…

I’ll cross that bridge when I get there.

With a smile, I drifted off to probably the best sleep I had experienced in years.

End of Chapter Three

Author's Note

And there we have it, chapter three. Hope you enjoyed it, because damn this chapter took a while to hammer out as far as process went.

As before, I'd like to thank Demon Eyes Laharl, Firesight, and AJ Aficionado for all their help with this chapter, from suggestions to editing.

Dinner for Two

A Gentleman in Training

by Denim_Blue

Chapter Four: Dinner for Two

The morning greeted me with the pleasant theme music of Sir Alonnefrom my smartphone. I grunted as I quickly leaned over to my left, only to find my nightstand not there, much to my dismay. Without the expected weight of my small nightstand to prop my arm against, I found myself helpless against the cruel force of gravity, and promptly fell to the floor, face first. Thankfully, the floor was carpeted.

“Ow…” I mumbled, opening my eyes and finding my pants haphazardly lying on the ground of what I quickly realized was not my room.

Memories came back at once as I fished out my phone from my pants and turned it off and blinked away the sleep from my eyes.

Full Bloom.

The two of us had enjoyed a night out at the bars, and things had gone off in an unexpected, but rather pleasant, direction.

The window was cracked open, but the blinds had been drawn to provide me with some privacy and shelter from the sunlight while letting in fresh air.

I looked over to the other side of the bed to see it was empty, and frowned.

Did she leave? Maybe she had to take care of an errand?

Did she wake up shocked or disgusted? A small part of my mind asked. I squashed the thoughts before they could take root. No, I may have had a few drinks, but I could tell that Full Bloom, despite her inebriation, had been serious about what had transpired last night.

The sound of pans clattering in the kitchen got my attention, and my frown deepened for an entirely different reason.

She better not be making breakfast after I called dibs…

After putting on my boxers and pants, I walked into the kitchen, greeted to the sight of Full Bloom standing in front of her stove, humming quietly to herself as she cracked an egg into a pan. I had to admit, she kept a pretty tight ship in her kitchen space; not a single crumb or food stain on the counter space could be seen, and she had more utensils, cutlery, and cupboards than I think would be necessary for a four person family, let alone a single mare. A small rack hung on the far wall of the kitchen, holding various spices and seasonings as well as some dried herbs. It was like I had walked in on a studio of a celebrity chef back on Earth with how much there was to take in.

She must have sensed my presence, because she stopped whatever she had been doing and looked over her shoulder towards my direction. Her face brightened up with a cheery grin as we made eye contact.

“Good morning!” she chirped. “I know you said you wanted to make breakfast, but you looked so comfortable that I just couldn’t stand the idea of waking you up.” She smiled as I gave her a pout, and held up an egg in her magic. “I’m making omelettes…”

“With onions?”

“Uh… would that be a problem?”

I shook my head and smiled. “Nope, just curious. I love green peppers, onions, and cheese in my omelettes. I’d ask for ham as well, but…”

“I can see if there’s some ham at that one griffin deli down the road. I’m not really that bothered by meat, to be honest, so…”

I shook my head again, this time lifting up my hands urgently. “No, that’s alright. I’m fine with what you’re making.” I walked over to her side and without thinking ran a hand through her bedhead of a mane. “By the way, I love the ‘just got out of bed’ look you’re sporting.”

She continued to cook her eggs, but her face scrunched up a bit as a glow of green light surrounded a few stray locks of her mane in a futile attempt to fix them.

“I was being sincere. It’s cute… and a bit funny. Mostly cute, though.”

To her credit, Full Bloom never lost her focus over working the pan and eggs with her magic as I began to use my nails to scratch a little harder. She hummed and her tail swished a bit as she smiled, clearly enjoying the attention my fingers were giving her. “Okay, it’s settled; you’re going to give me a massage later.”

“You’re not planning on giving me a choice, are you?” I laughed as she absentmindedly lifted a back leg when my nails reached a particular spot that required their attention.

“Ohhhh, sweet Celestia, that’s...unnf…” She rolled her neck a bit and eventually had to lift a hoof to stop me. “Okay, if you don’t stop now, I’m going to end up burning these eggs and pulling you onto the couch.”

I chuckled. “I’m not sure if I’m up for another round so quickly. Honestly, I’m still a little boggled that we ended up going at it last night.”

She arched an eyebrow, a small frown forming on her lips. “Is… that a bad thing?”

“No, just different. I mean, sure, humans can have casual sex after just meeting each other, but every relationship I’ve had didn’t involve any sex until probably at least a month after dating.”

Her tail stopped swishing, and she pawed the floor. “Do… do you want to hold off on it until we’re more comfortable?”

There was a part of me was a little unsure of this relationship, at least the dynamics involving the bedroom. It was a bit sudden for me, but I had no real objections to it other than that.

“I would like to take you on a proper date before we do that again, but I’m not against it, Full Bloom. It was great, and I really enjoyed it.”

She visibly relaxed upon hearing that. “O-oh, good, heh. You seemed a bit wary for a moment there.”

I just grinned, and was happy to see she didn’t mind. “No, but there is one thing I want to ask.”

“Okay, what?” She took the eggs off the pan and placed them on a plate, then handed it to me with two slices of rye toast with some jam.

“Oh, thanks,” I said, taking a bite or two before continuing. “You’re sure that you don’t mind me working for Gentleman for Mares?”

“I don’t mind,” she said with a smile. “It’s a legit business, and honestly, it’s probably doing more good than bad for Equestria, despite what a lot of the media is saying. Just a few uptight ponies and humans are blowing hot air over it. Aside from them, I think the vast majority isn’t all that riled up about it.”

“Okay, well, as long as you’re sure it’s okay. I…” I cleared my throat, and said softly. “I’m not sure exactly on the norms with Equestrians, but I know mares traditionally like to have a say on who the male is seeing and looking at including in a herd…”

Full Bloom clucked her tongue and gave me a gentle nudge with a foreleg. “Yeah, but we’re not a herd, Darren. We’re dating. To be in a herd is a much, much more committed relationship.” She then added in a softer tone, “If I felt like taking that step, you’d know beforehand. Trust me, I’m not going to just drop that on your lap out of the blue.”

I gave her a final, grateful scratch with my free hand before the two of us sat down at the table and enjoyed our breakfast. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that Full Bloom had a stock of hot sauce in her ice box, and dropped a generous portion of it on my omelette. I had to hand it to her, she really knew how to make a mean omelette. Better than anything I’d ever done, to say the least.

“So, got any plans for today?” she asked as we cleaned our plates off at the sink after finishing breakfast.

“Not really. I was thinking of maybe stopping by and seeing how Mel is doing and if she’s got any places in mind for work. She has a nicer apartment, so I’m worried she won’t be able to continue paying her rent without a job.”

Full Bloom gave a hum of agreement. “Yeah, she seemed a bit bent out of shape over the whole thing. I bumped into her yesterday, and she said she has some places lined up for possible jobs, but I’m worried she’s going to have trouble getting hired.”

After we finished cleaning the plates and cookware, I got dressed and the two of us made our way to my own place so I could get a fresh pair of clothes on. My jeans and shirt smelled just a little too much like a night of steamy sex, and I’m sure Mel wouldn’t enjoy that smell getting into her own place.

I showered up and got changed while Full Bloom sat in my living room, looking over my small collection of things that I had been allowed to bring over from Earth. I had sold a large portion of my things for money to bring upon arriving in Equestria, but I had kept a few of my electronics and books, along with clothes and the like. Mostly necessities with a little bit of luxury splashed into the mix.

After cleaning up and putting on some fresh clothes, I walked into my small livingroom to see Full Bloom poking around my laptop with mild curiosity.

“Want me to show you how it works?”

“Mel showed me hers a few times. These computers are really cool, but I’m not sure I’ll ever get the hang of them.

I turned it on for her and decided to give her a little sample of what it could do. The basic internet allowed me to do some degree of web browsing, but since the pony-net was a completely separate entity from the internet back on Earth that I was familiar with, it was still limited in actual material. Probably a couple hundred noteworthy sites at best, if I had to guess. I wagered that number would increase exponentially in the very near future, though. I already had a few websites on my bookmarks, including a subscription to the Trottingham Gazette Online, one of the few newspapers that didn’t have a strong political bias and tried to keep its readers interested with a plethora of different topics.

I decided to check out the site for anything noteworthy, and found nothing that really stood out, aside from one particular front page article. The date of its publication was about a week old, but it still caught my attention. Not sure how I missed it before, but it had been a while since I last read anything from the site.

Changeling Corpse Found in Dodge Junction

I paused, and Full Bloom looked over the headline before letting out a gasp. “Changelings? They found one?”

“Mm,” I looked over the article. It was a very small article, given the news. Nothing more than stating the cause of death had likely been a murder, seeing as the neck was snapped. A few comments from some of the locals, as well as a brief statement from the local law enforcement were all that had been given, otherwise. “That’s… hm…”

“What?” Full Bloom asked.

“Well, if I remember right, changelings have the ability to transform and change shape, right? Practically flawless if I remember reading the stories on the the wedding between Princess Cadance and Shining Armor.”

“Yeah,” Full Bloom gave a nod of agreement. “That Queen… she almost captured Canterlot. She even defeated Celestia.” She shuddered. “Who knows what would have happened if she had won…”

“I’m sure our worlds never would have met. I believe it was Princess Twilight Sparkle who opened up that portal, right?” A nod from Full Bloom. “Well, if things had gone in favor of the changeling queen, then I’m sure Canterlot, as well as the rest of Equestria, would be nothing more than a farming ground…”

“Yeah…” Full Bloom frowned. “I remember watching some magical feed on the wedding in the town square. When she appeared… it was terrifying.”

“I can imagine…though, honestly, I’m wondering just how popular that move might have been with the rest of the changelings.”

Full Bloom gave me a weird look. “What do you mean?”

“Well, I don’t think it’s too crazy to say that changelings are as intelligent as the other races of Equestria. I mean, as powerful as the changeling queen was, I doubt she managed to pull off everything all by herself. There had to be other changelings that were involved in setting up that attempted invasion.”

“That’s… possible, I guess.” Full Bloom gave me an uncertain look. “I heard about reports from ponies after Canterlot had been invaded. The reports said things like friends and loved ones just up and vanished on them. A lot of them found notes left behind telling them that their friends and family were changelings in disguise, and that they were sorry, but didn’t want to risk getting caught or having their loved ones getting in trouble because of them.”

“Oh wow…” I said, shaking my head. “I can’t imagine… being in a relationship with someone for years, then finding out that they were…that must have hurt.”

“I… had a friend in Manehatten who found out one of her herd mates was a changeling. They had been together with their stallion for more than ten years.”

“I’m sure more than a few changelings probably were broken up over it, too.”

“Huh? Really?”

“Well, yeah. Changelings feed off of love, right?” A nod from Full Bloom. “That’s what the reports said, at least. I doubt that there was any love gained for the changelings after that mess in Canterlot, even if the vast majority would have rather just gone about their lives without that incident. I mean, think about what you just said. A changeling had been in a relationship for over a decade. A decade!”

Full Bloom frowned. “What are you getting at?”

“I’m saying that with the stunt that their queen pulled, most changelings were probably forced to up and abandon their lives they had made for themselves out of fear of being imprisoned, or worse. I’d be a little pissed if that happened, especially if I was in a relationship with someone. You don’t spend ten years being with someone like that and not end up caring for them. Feeding on love or not, I find it hard to believe that an intelligent race isn’t able to feel emotions on some level that allows them to bond with ponies.”

Full Bloom’s frown slowly curled into a smile, and she sighed. “You’re such a doofus.”

“Can’t blame me for trying to see the other side, can you?” I defended. “Violence breeds violence, and I’m sure a lot of changelings paid for what happened in Canterlot all those years ago, even if they had no part in it.” I let out a sigh. “It’s a good thing that attempted invasion didn’t lead to a declaration of war or something like that. Trust me when I say humans know all too well what conflict can do to a civilization. I’m just glad it never got to that point between you ponies and the changelings.”

“No, no, I understand. That’s a good point. You just don’t hear anyone really sympathizing with a group who did something like trying to take over Equestria that much, you know?” She smirked. “You’re an odd one, Darren.”

I laughed as I closed out of the internet, “Well, I’ll tell you what, the next time I get a chance to talk to a changeling, I’ll ask them for their thoughts on the matter and tell you what they think.”

“With that big heart of yours, they probably wouldn’t let you leave,” she joked. “I bet they love guys like you.”

“You think so?” I chuckled as I got up from my chair and turned off the laptop. “There’s got to be a few perks to having a changeling lover, right?”

“Hm,” Full Bloom thought it over, then grinned in amusement. “Maybe they’ll transform into any pony you want? Maybe Sapphire Shores?”

“As long as they don’t sing her music, I could probably endure it.”

“Oh, careful, you might end up servicing Sapphire Shores someday,” Full Bloom teased. “Me? I’d ask them to turn into one of the Wonderbolts.”

“Lemme guess… Fleetfoot?”

“Oh, I wouldn’t complain who it was. They all look sexy to me,” Full Bloom replied.

“So, the Wonderbolts? Is that my competition for your affection, then?” I asked with a feigned sigh.

“Who says I wouldn’t keep you as well?” She asked with a grin.

I snickered as she bumped my leg with her rump. “I think I’m starting to like this part of you.”

“Mm.” She titled her head slightly, an open invitation for me to scratch behind her ears. She sighed as I hit a sweet spot. “Ugghhh… how did I ever survive without your fingers?”

“The same way I probably managed to survive without your magic.”

In response to that remark, her horn lit up for a moment and I felt light slap on my rear. I jumped in surprise, and looked down to see her giving me an innocent smile, horn still glowing.

I chuckled, “Wow, feisty much?”

“Rawr…” was her only reply.

Mel’s place was on the northern portion of the river going through Hoofington. The apartments there were a little nicer, and thus a little more expensive. Still, Mel’s mother and father were both well off, and had given her a healthy chunk of change before she left Earth. As such, she could afford the extra expenses. Like a state-of-the-art air conditioning from Earth.

“Say, Mel, you think you can hook me up with one of those?”

Mel laughed as she brought in glasses of cranberry juice for Full Bloom and I. Mel was three years my senior, and stood about five inches shorter than me, which was funny if you met the rest of her family. Both her mother and father were rather tall, and her uncles, aunts, and cousins all shared similar traits. Only she and her grandmother on her mother’s side were below the five feet and nine inches line. Aside from height, she had pale blonde hair and brown eyes, and a noticeable amount of muscle to her frame that she gained from years of working out in the field and hiking. The girl could carry almost as much as Alex did whenever we went on field assignments.

“I thought you liked your old death machine back at your apartment,” she joked.

“That frost crystal box is a piece of junk. I should really just recycle it. I hear the city pays decent money to take old machinery off your hands.”

“Actually, it’s the other way around. I think you have to pay the city to have them take if off your hands and recycle it,” Full Bloom said after taking a sip of her juice.

“Well, crap. Nevermind, then.” Deciding to get to the reason I had come over, I asked her, “So… how are you doing?”

Mel’s smile wavered. “Eh, I’m doing about as well as I can be. I have a few places in mind, but I might have to move out to Fillydelphia. I’m not a fan of the idea, but my savings won’t last forever without an income.”

“Hemlock was considering leaving after he heard that you four were being let go.” Full Bloom rubbed a temple. “I had to calm him down and remind him that he’s helping raise two fillies and a colt with his two herd mates right now, and he shut up after that. Poor guy was not happy about you four losing your jobs.”

“What about you?” Mel asked me. “You have any possible jobs lined up?”

“Uh…” I looked to Full Bloom, and she sat a little straighter, and nodded reassuringly. “Y-yeah…”

“Really?” Mel laughed. “That was fast. Where are you working, then?”

“Um… well, I’m working for a company that provides personal services for clients. Most of them are mares, I guess…”

“Personal services…?” Mel quirked an eyebrow, then looked to Full Bloom. When Full Bloom gave her a nod, Mel’s eyes widened a bit. “Wait, seriously?”

“Yep,” Full Bloom said with a nod.

“Huh… well, looks like you’ll be a lot busier from now on,” Mel said with a grin. “Never considered you someone that would be a Gentleman.”

I set down my glass and cleared my throat. “Was it that obvious?”

Mel shrugged. “The 'personal services' part kind of gave it away… that and mentioning most of your clients are mares.” She gave me an amused smile. “Still, Gentleman for Mares?”

“Yeah. It was a bit of a surprise. I went to the interview without a clue what I was getting into.” I gave Mel a wary smile. “I’m surprised you’re not more… bothered by it.”

Mel waved a hand. “There’s better things to stress over, and honestly, what’s the harm? It’s a legitimate business in this world. Though, I recommend you be careful. Not everyone’s a fan of the establishment.”

“I’m good at being discreet,” I replied.

“I’ll be keeping a watch over him, too,” Full Bloom added, placing a hoof over one of my hands and squeezed it gently. The gesture didn’t go unnoticed by Mel, and again her eyes widened a fraction, this time with a smile.

Mel let out an amused chuckle. “About time, Full Bloom. Did he act all surprised and confused when you asked him out?”

“He was actually pretty enthusiastic about it,” the mare answered with a giggle.

“I’m right here, you know,” I added with a hint of annoyance.

“Well, good for you two,” Mel grinned. “He’s pretty good about staying out of trouble, though, so you should be okay.”

“Says the girl who lost a bet against Henry sophomore year and had to go skinny-dipping in the lake off campus.”

Mel’s face flushed a deep red as Full Bloom burst out laughing. The unicorn took in a few breaths and while still giggling, asked, “Okay, what is this about? How come you never told me this, Mel?”

“Later, Full Bloom,” Mel answered, running a hand across her face. “And thanks for reminding me of that night, Darren. Seeing Henry’s hairy ass is the last image I need in my mind right now.”

“Is… Henry a pet or something?”

“No, he just had a very hairy back and didn’t care much for getting a haircut,” I answered. “Look up the word ‘hippie’ some time on the pony-net. It’ll help give you an idea.”

We chatted for a bit longer, Mel telling me a bit of what she’d heard about Gentleman for Mares, both from word of mouth and what she had read. “Yeah, and there’s a series of articles in the Manehatten Post and New York Life magazines that’s been ongoing for awhile. Apparently one of the mares responsible for training Gentleman has been sharing her life story and trying to bring across the point of having a place like Gentleman for Mares. It’s pretty well written stuff, if not explicit.”

“I heard about that,” Full Bloom said with a frown. “I give the mare credit for writing that, but she’s been on the receiving end of a lot of criticism, and some groups are pretty ticked off about the articles being published. Though… I’m sure she knew what she was getting herself into.”

“That’s because they’re afraid that the articles might destroy their society’s perfect image,” Mel said with no lack of sarcasm in her tone. “I think her name was Five Stars, or something. She sounds like a pretty awesome mare.”

“Well, whatever the case, my training will be in town.” I thought it over a moment, then added. “I… would appreciate if you kept this hush-hush, I guess.”

“No problem,” Mel said with a smirk. “Honestly, you’re going to have your work cut out for you, but I wish you the best of luck.”

“Thanks.”

Eventually, Full Bloom and I left, wishing Mel good luck in her job hunt and promising we’d tell her if we heard of any openings for someone with her experience. We made our way through downtown Hoofington, enjoying the mild, sunny midday. A few vendors were out, selling wares, produce, and trinkets to passerby. All in all, it was a typical weekend in the summer for Hoofington.

“Huh, what do you suppose is going on over there?”

Full Bloom pointed in the direction of a particularly brightly colored wagon that had folded out into a small performance stage of sorts. Standing in the center was a blue unicorn mare with a bi-colored mane and tail of paler blue hue. She wore a purple magician’s hat and cape that had glittering stars embroidered into the fabric.

“Come one, come all! Hear the most harrowing of stories, as told by the Great and Powerful Trixie!” The showpony stood up on her hind legs and a few firecrackers and magical sparks shot off from behind her. Young fillies and colts were already gathering around her in awe as the mare stood back on all four legs with a swish of her cape. “That’s right, my little fans, today, you shall all witness a show like none other. Trixie shall tell you a tale of heroic deeds, terrifying foes, and good versus evil!”

“Is it one about Starswirl the Bearded?” asked a filly.

“Neigh, my little filly, it is not a tale about ponies!”

I grinned, watching as ‘The Great and Powerful’ Trixie smiled down at the little pony. This mare obviously loved her work, or at least loved entertaining the little ones. Despite her haughty airs, it was clear as day that she was in her element with the youngsters.

“Is it a story about the gwiffins?” asked a younger colt.

“A fair guess, but no!”

By now, the foals’ parents had gathered around the stage as well, watching with interest as Trixie continued to entertain the young ponies.

I looked to Full Bloom, and gave her a nod towards the show. She smiled, rolling her eyes. “I suppose. Why not?”

We took a seat on a bench nearby. Trixie must have cast a spell to amplify her voice for those further away, because I could still hear her clearly over the buzz of the midday crowd.

“Today, I bring to Hoofington a tale from Earth! Trixie has been told that this is a classical story that many young humans are familiar with. Trixie had the privilege of reading this story, and she now wishes to bring it to all of you!”

I noticed a few of the adult ponies’ faces frown upon hearing that, and they began to usher their foals away from the stage. If Trixie noticed, she paid them no mind, instead, continuing without missing a beat. I was happy to see that the vast majority of ponies were still listening. Even a few humans and griffins who had been milling around were taking seats and watching now.

“The tale I bring you is one of fantasy and mystical wonder! It is one about a folk similar to humans, but not quite the same. It is a tale that shows that, even when the world seems bleak, there is still hope. It is a tale of a good against evil. A tale of a land similar to our dimensional neighbors’ own world, yet so very different.”

It was at this point that Trixie’s horn lit up, and somehow managed to darken the area around her stage. She walked to the left portion of the stage, and continued, her magic creating a single, glowing circle of golden light. The light took on a more detailed form, and I had to hold back a cheer as I saw a set of familiar characters form along the entirety of the circle.

“What?” Full Bloom asked with a hint of amusement.

“Just… wait and see. If she’s about to tell the story I think she’s about to tell…” I said, holding back a chuckle.

“It is a story that takes place in a land of magic unlike ours. For this magic is subtle, but powerful in its own right. They call this land… Middle Earth.”

I noticed a few of the humans, and even a few ponies, grin as she continued.

“Though, this is a story from our human neighbors, it is not a story that only talks about humans. One particular character in this story, in fact, is not a human, but of a different race. In this story, he finds himself cast into a dangerous and thrilling adventure. One where he discovers the wide world around him, makes friends and enemies, and learns valuable lessons about himself.”

At this point, Trixie had paused dramatically, enjoying the attention she had gained from her audience.

“Fillies and gentlecolts. Humans, griffins, and ponies of all ages… I present to you… The Hobbit!”

It was well into the evening when Trixie neared the end of the tale. She had embellished a few details, and while she had not recited it line for line—and honestly, I wouldn’t expect anyone to do such a thing without the book in hand—she had done a phenomenal job at telling the tale. She even had the sense to explicitly state that, unlike the dragons living in Tellus, Smaug was a dragon created from evil, darkness, and fire, and more cruel than any true dragon in Tellus would ever wish to be.

I had to admire her for that. I never met any dragons in Equestria myself, but I knew not all of them were bad, despite the horrible things some folks said about them. Clearly, Trixie knew enough not to turn the story into an issue about species so much as a story about a particularly evil dragon with a short temper.

“And so ends the tale of Bilbo Baggins…” She bowed deeply as the sounds of stomping and clopping hooves and clapping hands and claws filled the air. Some of the foals had fallen asleep, but the vast majority of them were wide awake and cheering.

“That… was an interesting story,” Full Bloom said as we got stood up. “Is that really a story from Earth?”

“Would you believe it’s only a prelude to an even longer series of stories?” I asked, and Full Bloom’s jaw went slack.

“That Tolkien person must have a lot of fans…” Full Bloom commented with a smile.

“Well, there are many fans of the book series, but J.R.R. Tolkien died a few decades ago.”

Full Bloom sighed, “That’s a shame. That always seems to be the case with great authors and artists.”

We made our way to the stage where several foals and a few humans were complimenting the showmare as she signed the occasional autograph. Full Bloom and I waited until the crowd cleared a bit, and I approached the stage, which she was now clearing of glitter and confetti.

“That was a pretty impressive show, Ms. Trixie,” I said. “The first time I’ve seen an Equestrian version of The Hobbit.”

Trixie raised an eyebrow, and smiled. “Well, Trixie is one of the greatest traveling magicians in Equestria, if not the greatest. It would only make sense that she be the one to tell such a tale.”

Okay, she definitely had a bit of an ego, but hey, what person in show biz didn’t? “So, have you read the other three books that follow The Hobbit?”

Trixie chuckled. “Trixie has been rather busy, but she is halfway through The Fellowship of the Ring. I have a… a human friend who said I should read Mr. Tolkien’s stories, and recommended I start with The Hobbit.” She smiled, looking to the foals following their parents home. “I am glad I listened to Wingm—” She cleared her throat suddenly, and continued. “Ah, excuse me, my throat must be sore from talking for so long. As I was saying, I am glad I listened to my friend… it is a very fun story to tell the youngsters.”

“Well, I hope that you’ll come out this way when you decide to tell the rest of the story to everyone,” Full Bloom said. “That’s the second human story I’ve heard, and it was great.”

Trixie gave a bow to the two of us. “Trixie is always happy to gain fans.” She looked back to her stage, and gave a small nod. “If you’ll excuse me, I must clear stage before it gets to be too dark.”

As she turned back to her stage, I noticed a silk, black hat that you might find on the head of a magician lying on the edge of the stage. It was upside down, and on the brim was taped a note that said in a stylized horn writing ‘Tips are welcome, thank you!’.

I dug into my pocket and pulled out a handful of bits. Full Bloom gave me a look, and I just shrugged before dropping them in. “What? She did a great job. I’d definitely like to see her tell other stories from Earth in the future.”

I noticed Trixie pause, and just barely look over her shoulder, one ear swiveled to listen in. Full Bloom noticed as well, and sighed. “I guess you’re right. You don’t see a lot of performances like that in town these days…” She grinned, lifting a few bits with her magic and tossing them into the hat as well. “It was… refreshing.”

Trixie returned to clearing the stage, and Full Bloom and I made our way back to her apartment. We spent the remainder of the night indoors, listening to some late night radio programs and enjoying each other’s company. By the time it was midnight, we had made ourselves comfortable on her bed.

Full Bloom had fallen asleep first, leaving me awake with an arm draped over her. Occasionally she would mumble something and move around in her sleep. At one point she had managed to locate me, and she quickly rolled closer to me, exhaling softly through her nose and draping a leg over mine.

I could get used to this… I thought, running a hand through her mane. A soft smile spread across her lips, and she moved even closer, nestling her head on my shoulder while mumbling what may or may not have been my name.

Closing my eyes, I let the comforting feeling of Full Bloom’s body rising and falling with mine lull me to sleep.

Yeah… I could definitely get used to this.

Morning came with me awakening to an empty bed, again. I sat up slowly, yawning as I took in my surroundings, recognizing Full Bloom’s room after two nights of sleeping there.

I got up slowly and stretched, walking out of the room, only to find the rest of the apartment empty. I did, however, find a note taped to the front door of her apartment with her horn writing on it.

Darren,

Sorry to leave you alone this morning, but I had to take care of a few errands and get some things in town. I should be back around one o’clock in the afternoon, so feel free to help yourself to anything in the pantry or ice box. If you go anywhere, could you leave me a note so I know if you’ll be back or at your place? I was hoping we might be able to have dinner again tonight; my treat!

Thank you!

Love,

Full Bloom

P.S. - I don’t want to come off as weird, but I left a spare key to my apartment for you, taped to the note. Mel has one of my spares, and I trust you enough to keep one as well. I know it’s a bit odd for you, but we don’t typically worry about locking doors in this part of town. Even so, if you ever need to get here while I’m not around, feel free to use this key if the door is locked.

I made my way into the kitchen and looked around for something to make for myself. Full Bloom, being a single mare, had about as much food as one would expect for one pony to live off of. Some fruits, some vegetables, leftovers from previous meals, a half-carton of milk, eggs, some juice, and not much else. Her pantry had lots of spices, a bag of flour, boxes of instant mixes for cakes and other desserts, bread, and more bags of instant ramen than I would ever dream of.

Huh, never took her to be a fan of the stuff. Go figure.

I continued searching around, eventually settling on a box of Twilight Sparkle Bursts cereal (with real, honey-glazed star shaped oats in every bite!), and poured it into a bowl with some milk. I turned on the radio, eventually settling on a news station that wasn’t saturated with political talk. I got enough of that from the newspapers, thank you very much.

“... see, now I can understand her point there, believe me, I do. It is hard being a mare in a world with so few stallions, but this Five Stars is going too far with the promotion of such graphic topics in her articles! This Gentleman For Mares company is gaining an alarming amount of popularity, and I am concerned for the well-being of our young fillies! What will they think when they are adults and begin discovering themselves? Will they just assume that it’s normal to find a male human and… and ruthim?”

“Miss Dewdrop, have you considered that there’s nothing wrong with being attracted to a male of a different, sapient species? That it might even be considered fairly normal?”

“Normal? Normal? No! It is as far from normal as one can get! You cannot seriously believe that nature intended for us to want to commit such atrocities that do nothing to bring healthy foals into the world!”

“Alright, thank you, Miss Dewdrop.” At that point I heard what sounded like a telephone line being hung up. “When we return from a short break, we’ll discuss with a mare on the opposite side of the spectrum about her thoughts on Gentlemen For Mares, and what she believes they are bringing to Equestria.”

I continued to eat my admittedly tastier than I had expected bowl of cereal as a little jingle for some dress shop in Ponyville played.

“Carousel Boutique~! Where everything is chic, unique, and magnifique~! Now providing dressmaking, tailoring, and fashion accessory design services to human clientele! Visit today!”

“Heh, cute.” I thought to myself aloud. I’d have to keep that place in mind for the future. No doubt I’d need a few dress suits if I planned on doing well with my job… that and Full Bloom deserved to have someone who could look halfway decent on a date.

“And welcome back, with us now is a mare who has served in the Canterlot political scene for some time, and has been a long supporter of the arts in Equestria, Miss Royal Ribbon. Thank you for joining us!”

“Oh, the pleasure’s all mine, I assure you. I’m happy to be here.”

I paused in mid-chew. Royal Ribbon… why did that name seem to ring a bell with me?

“Now, Miss Ribbon, you’ve actually retired from the political scene about three years ago, correct?”

“Yes, various personal reasons mainly.”

“Among them being a reason related to the topic of today’s show, from what you’ve told me.”

“Yes, that is correct. I am an advocate of Gentlemen For Mares.”

“Now, while I admire your bravery in doing this, Miss Ribbon, aren’t you worried about harassment from those who are opposed to Gentlemen For Mares? The recent events revolving around the magazine articles by Five Stars, as well as the protests in Las Pegasus and New York City, would have me concerned.”

Royal Ribbon chuckled. “I’ve spent the better part of fifteen years working as an Equestrian legislator, Miss True Tone. Harassment, hate mail, and jeering are the least of my worries. I’m also quite capable of defending myself, if need be.”

“Now, I must ask, what got you involved with the company? I understand you have an interest in human fashion and culture, but why an escort service that uses human males?”

“First of all, it’s not just an escort service. It’s a company that focuses on giving lonely mares a chance for male companionship. Whether that may entail a late-night walk, a comfortable dinner or chat by candlelight, a romantic evening in a hotel suite… Gentlemen For Mares adapts to suit the needs of its clients. I would know, being a former client myself.”

“From what you’ve told me before the show, you’ve become more involved in the past year with the company?”

“Yes. I’m actually starting my first full-time job with them. I’m not at liberty to discuss any details relating to my job itself, but my experience with human culture and my work in Canterlot gave me a hoof in the door, so to speak. After I was granted an interview, I was quickly accepted.”

I still couldn’t quite remember where I had heard this mare’s name before, but decided to not dwell on the topic. I’m sure it’d come to me later when I least expected it.

I finished the last of my cereal and placed the bowl in the sink, cleaning it off with some dish soap and drying it off while the radio continued. Not much else was said that really caught my interest; this Royal Ribbon or whatever wasn’t even allowed to talk about where she would be working. Most likely Manehatten or Las Pegasus, which, according to the brochure I had received from Manila, were the two big headquarters for Gentlemen for Mares.

That being said, why did they need an office in a place like Hoofington? It was, for the most part, smack-dab in the middle of Equestria. It was only several dozen miles southwest of Ponyville and right near the western border of the Everfree Forest, and just south of a small chain of hills that join up with the ancient Macintosh Hills. If you were to head further south past the Saddle River, you would find yourself at Ghastly Gorge. Go west from there down the Saddle River and you can find the Whitetail Woods to the north, and Las Pegasus itself nestled to the west.

It made some sense, I suppose, to have a central location for the more administrative work to be taken care of. Even so, Hoofington was an industrial town with some institutions doing work focused on the environment as well. Not exactly a hub for administrative offices.

It could very well be that they just wanted some sort of middle ground for saving money on postage. Wouldn’t be too surprising. Silky had said that until recently, they handled a lot of paperwork. They were at risk of closing down, though due to financial difficulties.

Makes you wonder how much money the overall company was spending…

I got up and turned off the radio. After getting dressed for the day I left a note for Full Bloom, telling her I was going out for a walk. I couldn’t help but smile as I taped my note next to the one she had left on the door for me.

I found some appreciation in the doting tone of her letter. I only hoped it wouldn’t get to the point that she was breathing down my neck, constantly wondering where I was and calling me all hours of the day. I couldn’t really see Full Bloom being like that, but it was still a possibility. I’ve already been down that road with my last girlfriend.

I still owe Mel and the guys for getting me out of that mess of a relationship.

Casting those thoughts aside, I made my way out the door. Sunshine and the smell of flowers greeted me as I stepped out, and I couldn’t help but take in a deep breath and sigh contentedly. For all the industry and steelworking that went on in this town, Hoofington was good about keeping their city clean.

I made my way down the cobblestone road in front of Full Bloom’s apartment, having no particular destination in mind. I didn’t even notice when a half hour had passed and I found myself standing by the southern waterfront of the Saddle River. A few ponies, humans, griffins, and even a diamond dog, were fishing on a railed boardwalk. Several couples apparently had the same idea as me, and were walking along the the trails lining the riverside while enjoying the weather.

It was almost noon when I made my way back to Full Bloom’s apartment. I had stopped by a local sweet shop and picked up a box of chocolates and a bottle of wine with a label written in Aeric. It was, according to the mare who sold me it, a great dessert wine. I had decided it’d be a nice surprise for her after the supposed dinner she had planned for us tonight, but after purchasing the wine, I couldn’t pass up on the box of chocolates.

Yeah, it may be a cliché present, but I was testing the waters here. I’ll get more creative with gifts after I get to know Full Bloom better. When I got back to her apartment, I unlocked the door and was greeted to a still empty apartment.

I headed into the kitchen and set to work, making what I hoped would suffice for a decent lunch. I took stock of Full Bloom’s ice box, and was pleased to see she had a large head of romaine lettuce—it looked like romaine lettuce, at least—along with lots of other fresh greens and vegetables, chilled and ready for eating.

About ten minutes later found me cutting up some tomatoes, lettuce, carrots, and artichoke hearts while two eggs boiled in a small cooking pot. By the time the front door opened fifteen minutes later, I had two large bowls filled to the brim with salad greens and vegetables, ready to be devoured.

“Darren, are you—?” Full Bloom walked through the front door of her apartment, pausing at the entrance when she noticed me sitting at the kitchen table with a salad for each of us, along with some apple juice.

“Welcome back. I hope you don’t mind, but I kind of got hungry, so I made us some salads. Uh… I’ll help you get more groceries if you want, later.”

Full Bloom’s smile was the only reply I needed as she walked over to me and gave me a light nuzzle. “Thanks, that was sweet of you.” She eyed the salad, smiling as she took in everything. “Wow, you really went all out… are those… eggs?”

“Mm. Yeah, I like to cut up hard boiled eggs into slices and put them in. I didn’t know if you’re a fan of them, so if you want I can take them out and—”

“It’s fine,” Full Bloom cut me off while putting a gentle hoof on my shoulder. “Just, I can’t say I ever thought of doing that before.” She took a seat at the table and drizzled some dressing over the lettuce. As she dug in, her eyes closed with contentment. “Mmmmm. Thanks, Darren.”

I grinned, glad she was enjoying the meal. “No problem, I figured you’d be hungry.”

She dabbed her lips with a napkin. “Don’t eat too much, though. I booked us a booth at The Cream of the Crop tonight.”

I arched an eyebrow. “Really? You mean that swanky restaurant down on main street that was opened some time back?” She nodded. “Huh… Hemlock says they have a menu for humans, too. Omnivore menu items and everything.”

“Yep, I have a friend who’s a chef there. They pulled a few strings for us, and I got us a private booth in the omnivore section. So, if you want, you can order a steak or something meaty.”

Meat? Okay, either Full Bloom was joking with me, or she was even cooler than I had thought.

“I know you said you’re alright with having meat being eaten in front of you… are you sure that you don’t mind?” I asked.

Full Bloom gave me a nod. “You’re an omnivore, Darren. Why should I be bothered by that? It’s not like you’re planning to eat me, after all…” She smirked, then added in a sultry voice. “Though… I wouldn’t mind letting you have a taste…”

I grinned. “Careful, Full Bloom. You keep playing this game of seduction with me, and I might end up hooked.”

She winked playfully. “That’s the plan, Mr. Halverson.”

I watched with some amusement as she attempted to subtly run one of her back hooves up my leg, but given pony anatomy, she had to adjust her sitting position, and almost slid out of her chair a few times.

The effort was there, though, and it was rather adorable.

“O-okay, no more playing footsie unless I’m sitting closer to you,” she said with a hint of embarrassment after wobbling in her chair while trying to maintain balance. “Ponies weren’t made for this kind of foreplay.”

“And the score is now biped—one, quadruped—zero. You get points for being cute, though, I won’t argue there.”

She finally reseated herself, and gave me a half-lidded smile. “Really, now?”

A sudden tingling sensation ran up my leg, and could see the telltale glow of green around her horn. Her smile became a grin as I felt a tendril of her magic run along my waistline, then gently dance along my groin before coming to a halt. The electric tingling of her magic was still there, but she had yet do anything further.

“Okay, I walked right into that one” I said, laughing as she lifted a leaf of lettuce with her magic and delicately nibbled on it.

Her eyes never left mine as she continued to chew on her greens. “So,” she said between bites. “What have we learned?”

“That unicorns are dirty cheaters with dirtier minds?”

Her grin remained in place. “Oho, you are so asking for it, aren’t you?” I felt her magic run up my waistline and gently caress my stomach and chest. “I like that, though.” Her magic ran gently along my neck and cheeks. “I might just have to skip dinner tonight and go straight to dessert, won’t I?”

“With those bedroom eyes you’re giving me, you almost manage to negate your corny one-liners.” I laughed as her horn’s aura fizzled out, her cheeks reddening beneath her mulberry fur. She let out a huff and pouted, turning away from me suddenly. “Oh, come on, I like corny pick-up lines.” She continued to pout, but I could already see cracks in her facade. “Full Bloom, I’m serious. You’re teasing is sexy, and pretty cute.” I reached over the table and rested my hand on a hoof. “You’d have to try pretty hard right now for me to not find you attractive. We might have only just become a couple, but I mean that; you’ve got that hot and nerdy vibe going for you.”

She looked back to me with a frown. “Nerdy?”

“You’re an expert at botany, you have all your cooking spices arranged in alphabetical order, and I’m pretty sure the cookbooks nestled in one of your cupboards was arranged by author name.” She shrunk a bit as I gave her a grin. “There’s no need to be ashamed, though. It’s what makes you who you are… and you are pretty damn attractive. So there.”

Her smile returned slowly. “You’re not the smoothest sweet-talker I’ve known, but…” Her horn lit up, and I jumped a bit as I felt a wisp of her magic run down my loins before vanishing. “I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t cute, too.”

“I guess we’re both nerds, then, huh?”

“You? Oh, no, you’re an adorable doofus with a big brain that doesn’t know when to work sometimes.” She took a few more bites of her salad, then placed the rest of her meal in my own bowl with her magic. “I grabbed a late breakfast, so you can finish the rest of my salad.”

“I thought you said to save room for dinner?” I asked.

“Mm. I had second thoughts on that. You’re going to need all the strength you have for tonight.”

She headed into her room, putting an extra sway in her steps as I watched her leave.

I don’t think I’ve ever eaten a salad with as much gusto as I did that afternoon.

The evening passed quickly for me. Full Bloom wasn’t kidding when she said her friend had pulled some strings for us. The private booth was curtained off for us, giving the illusion that we were truly the only ones in the establishment. They even placed a soundproofing spell so that the background noise, as well as our own voices, was muted.

The meal, though… wow.

I had asked Full Bloom, for the umpteenth time, if she was seriously alright with me ordering anything that had once been a living animal. Her response was a simple nod and insisting I get whatever I wanted. She also made it a point to remind me that the meal was on her, and I had better not even think of getting out my wallet. While I did feel a bit guilty, I had to remind myself that she had offered to pay and seemed all too eager about the whole thing.

I eventually decided on a pork tenderloin with roasted apples and onions with a butternut squash salad on the side. Full Bloom had ordered a spinach and feta cheese pasta dish for herself. Along with our orders came orders of what the waiter serving us claimed was the best apple cider in all of Equestria, straight from the orchards of Sweet Apple Acres.

The meal went by with idle conversation, mostly just us learning a bit about each other. Full Bloom apparently was the middle child from a family of five sisters and her mother. She only knew her father for a little while, since he had passed away shortly after her youngest sister was born. The age gap between her and her siblings was apparently small, from what I understood.

I told her about my brother, and how we had both left for Equestria when access to the portal was made open to the public. I didn’t have too much to say about my parents, but she didn’t pry, thankfully. Aside from that, we passed the time with comfortable small talk.

“Seriously, I don’t think I’ve ever been this hungry before,” I said, stabbing my fork into another slice of pork and apple. “This is probably the best pork tenderloin I’ve ever had, period. You Equestrians really know how to make a good hard cider, too.”

Full Bloom was about halfway through her own meal, and had already polished off most of her glass of cider. “Hey, apples and alfalfa were a major crop for most of Equestria once upon a time. Why do you think we have so many dishes for hay and apples in the first place?”

By the time I was full, my plate had been polished off, and Full Bloom had even offered the remains of her own meal, saying she was already full. The odd thing was that I felt energized instead of stuffed.

“So…” Full Bloom asked, resting a hoof on my hand. “Enjoy the meal?”

I took her hoof in my hand, stroking the soft flesh beneath it with my thumb. “Yeah. Thanks, Full Bloom, this was great.”

“Well…” She stretched her neck out a bit as she drank the last of her cider down. As she set down the glass, she gave me the half-lidded smile that I was becoming more and more acquainted with as of late. “... the night’s still young. I didn’t have anything planned aside from just enjoying each other’s company, so…” Her hoof squeezed my hand gently.

No words were needed, but I didn’t want to rush things quite yet. “What do you say we go for a stroll along the waterfront? There’s not supposed to be many clouds in the sky tonight.”

The sultry look in her eyes diminished a little as it was replaced with genuine cheer. “That sounds like a nice idea, actually.”

After the bill was paid, the two of us made our way out the door and towards the Saddle River. There was a crescent moon hanging in the sky tonight, and just as I had hoped, not a cloud to be seen. It was a little chilly, though, but neither of us really seemed to notice with how close to one another we were as we walked. I eventually found a bench overlooking a splendid view of the river. The moon reflected off the river and a few stars were visible, even with the lamplight lining the streets nearby.

“Darren?”

“Hm?”

“I…” Full Bloom paused for a long moment. After several seconds passed, I turned to my side to look at her. She was looking down to her hooves, a troubled expression on her face.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Do you think I’m coming on too strong? I mean… we had sex before we had a real date. I… I know you said that it’s not a huge deal, but it’s a bit outside the norm for humans, isn’t it?”

“Not necessarily true,” I chuckled, but I ceased when her frown remained in place. “Full Bloom, I’m enjoying this, really. Sure, it was unexpected, but I’m glad you told me that you’re interested. I never would have known, and to be honest, I think I would be missing out on some wonderful things right now.”

“I just don’t want you to think I’m pressuring you into this.”

“Hey, if I wasn’t interested, I could have easily said no,” I pointed out. I gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze, and let her rest her head on my shoulder. “You’re a wonderful mare, and to be honest, you’ve kind of opened my eyes up a little.”

She giggled. “Was I that good in the bed?”

“You’ll get no complaints from me there,” I replied with a grin, earning a playful nibble on the neck from her. “But that’s not what I meant… well, not entirely what I meant.”

She looked to me, and I stared into the deep, green pools of her eyes. It was astonishing how similar equine eyes were to humans.

“What… what did you mean, then?” she asked quietly.

“You’ve shown me that physical traits don’t make or break a relationship. I won’t lie, though, the physical portion of the relationship is very nice.” She giggled as I kissed her right ear. “But… I’d say what really makes a relationship is the feelings behind it. Giving and receiving those feelings… that’s what I’ve always wanted from another woman, or mare, as it were…” I frowned. “Did that sound weird to you? I swear it sounded better in my head.”

“No, no, I understand. It’s a thing lots of mares would probably agree with as well.” She nuzzled me briefly before continuing. “You’d be surprised how many mares out there just want a warm body to hold at night, to remind them that they’re not alone.”

“That’s… kind of what Silky told me, too.”

“Silky?” Full Bloom asked.

“Yeah, she’s my future boss. She mentioned that the sex ratio of stallion to mare is really skewed in Equestria, so lots of mares find themselves without someone to be with the way we are right now.”

She hummed. “So you’ll be doing more than just giving them pleasure, then…” She seemed satisfied by that realization. “Good… that’s sort of noble of you, really…”

“You’re not jealous or upset by that? I…know you’ve already said you’re okay with it, but I don’t want this to be an issue. I could try and look for a different job if—”

A hoof pressed softly against my chest, and Full Bloom shook her head. “No, I’m fine with it, trust me. What you’re doing is something that others may not understand, but I mean it when I say it’s a good thing. You’re going to help mares in need of companionship. It might sound a little petty, but sometimes all we want is to be complimented and held. Ponies are social creatures; we seek companionship. Some would say we thrive on it, even. The idea of friendship having a magic of its own has a grain of truth to it, after all. Love, friendship, feelings that come from others that give us a sense of importance and being wanted… you can’t just replace them with cheap sex and pretty words. We can fool ourselves, but deep down, the truth is that only the genuine thing can work.”

A few crickets were chirping in the long grass by the water while a chorus of distant frogs carried over the nighttime breeze. I smiled at her as she rested her head against me once more. “Wow…”

“Hm?” she asked.

“Corny one-liners and deep and meaningful thoughts.” I leaned down and planted a kiss on her ear again. “Keep it up and you’ll be hard pressed to get rid of me.”

Her horn lit up as she pulled me down slowly by the collar of my shirt, and we shared a kiss. Her tongue darted past her lips and grazed my own, but before I could return the favor, she pulled back and gave me her best seductive smile. Without warning, she hopped off the bench and darted off, turning around and giggling as my eyes followed her.

“Huh-wha?” I remarked intelligently.

“Why don’t we head back to my place. I recall you had a bottle of wine and some chocolates you wanted to share with me for dessert?” Her tail flagged to the side for a moment, and she stuck out her tongue before continuing her canter towards the direction of her apartment.

What I could only guess to be a goofy grin spread across my lips as I chased after her.

I’m not entirely sure how we managed to get into Full Bloom’s apartment. I had managed to catch up to her at some point, though I’m suspecting she let me. Either way, we had become almost inseparable from that point, and the two of us had almost tripped over each other at least twice while walking up the stairs to her apartment, stealing a kiss or a playful nip every few steps.

Did I mention Full Bloom really enjoys having her ears touched? Yeah, I’ll be keeping that information tucked away for later.

By the time Full Bloom (or perhaps it was me, I did bring her spare apartment key with me, after all) managed to open the door to her place, she was already tugging away at my shirt with her magic.

“So, I’m guessing the wine’s not happening?” I chuckled as she herded me over to her bedroom.

“The wine’s not going anywhere, and the chocolate’s are fine.” She gave me a playful smack in the rear. “You’re the dessert I was waiting for tonight, stud.”

I plopped onto her bed, shirtless and pants half-undone, holding up a hand to stop her from pouncing on me. When she gave me a confused look, I grinned. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to give you a little extra attention first.”

Full Bloom’s tail swished from side to side a few times as her eyes brightened. She gave me a nod, and hopped onto the bed. I leaned forward and planted a few gentle kisses along her neck, trailing down slowly until I eventually reached her shoulder. She let out a shuddering breath as I moved over to the other half of her neck as she rolled onto her side.

I planted a few more kisses along her collarbone, even using my teeth a little bit, earning a squeal of delight from her.

“So, teeth are a good thing, then?” I asked as I grinned.

She looked up at me, her chest rising and falling as she smiled. “You surprised me, but… y-yeah, I liked it.”

I closed the gap between our lips and she let out a throaty sigh when I deepened our kiss. Her velvet tongue parted my lips, and I was soon engaged in a bout of tongue wrestling with her. I was completely outmatched, I might add; Equestrian tongues are larger than any human tongue could hope to be.

Not to be dissuaded by this, I trailed a free hand down her belly, and flicked one of her erect teats with a finger. That got a yelp out of her, and I pulled back.

“Oh, shit!” I said. “Too much? I didn’t know if it would be painful, I should-mmph!”

Full Bloom cut off my apology by attacking my lips. She pulled back just long enough to smile and say, “My nerves are on fire right now. You just surprised me again when you did that, so…” She trailed a few kisses my neck, her tongue leaving a thin trail as she made her way to my collarbone. She let out a hot puff of air that washed over my neck, and whispered huskily to me. “I guess I got a little excited…”

With that, she pushed me away gently with both her forelegs so that I could take her in completely. Seeing her like that, gazing up at me with desire and a primal type of hunger dancing in her eyes set me off.

I wasn’t even thinking, instead relying completely on instinct as I lowered my lips to her navel. Full Bloom squirmed and let out pleasant squeaks and mewls as I began to tease her hardened nipples. She even let out a nicker or two when I circled one of them with my tongue. Cute, and reassuring that I was doing good.

Her breathing had picked up as I began to journey lower, taking my time to massage and kiss both of her inner thighs. The musk that was hanging in the air now was unmistakable, and Full Bloom’s words were slowly melding into a string of my name being called out.

I paused along the innermost part of her right thigh and gazed up at her. She had one lust-laden eye open to meet my gaze and grinning like it was going out of style.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” I asked, only realizing a moment later that I had vocalized my thoughts.

The blush that crossed Full Bloom’s face was priceless. “D-Darren…”

I just winked, and without further prompting, turned my attention to the parted lips of her marehood. They were already slick with fluids from her arousal, almost a steady flow if you could believe it. I parted her lips with two fingers, earning a sharp intake of breath from her.

“May I?” I asked, receiving an eager nod from her. I lowered my lips and gently brushed the little nub over her slit with my tongue.

The results were almost immediate. Full Bloom’s legs went rigid as she let out gasp, and I could feel her body shudder beneath me. I gave her a moment to adjust, then continued while picking up the pace.

“O-oh, buck me, y-yeah! Mmmphh!” she said between breaths. “Darren, k-keep—yes, like that! Yes, yes, yes! Ohhh-yeahhh…”

I continued to tease her clit with my tongue, occasionally darting into her winking marehood and causing her to push her hips upward reflexively. If she was moist before, she was sopping wet now.

I’m pretty sure she had yet to orgasm, too.

I placed both my lips over her clit and gently sucked. While tending to her clit with my lips and tongue, I took a free hand and inserted two fingers into her slit, and began to gently pump, sometimes alternating, other times wriggling them slowly with each thrust. Judging by the fact that she was getting even louder, she was getting close. So, feeling emboldened by her words and reactions, I inserted a third finger and began to pump furiously while licking the area around her swollen clit, giving it a quick flick of my tongue every so often.

I had expected her cum soon, but I was was not prepared for her to whinny loudly, nor was I expecting her legs to wrap around my head. Regardless, I held her legs with both hands as entire body shuddered while she cried out my name. Her orgasm hit me square in the chin, and her smell flooded my senses completely as her legs went limp.

Slowly, I rose up, wiping a finger over my chin and inspecting the fluid.

Full Bloom, who was now biting down on a pillow held between her forelegs, looked up at me with a hint of what may have been shame. “I-I’m sorry, I should have warned—”

I pressed a finger against her lips while leaning forward. “Don’t apologize. I enjoyed it.”

That adorable smile of hers resurfaced, and she nodded. “I did, too… a lot.” She let her tongue trail along my chin and cheek. “I can’t remember the last time a stallion gave me oral.”

“Well, I’m not a stallion, hm?” I sucked on her lower lip as she moaned, still riding out the euphoria of her climax and catching her breath. I slowed down my assault on her lips, and let my hands roam across her stomach and rump.

She eventually placed a hoof on my bare chest, and for the first time I felt the suction of her hoof against it. I looked down to her hoof, and when she pulled away, I gave her a curious look and indicated to the limb. She merely nodded and smiled, and held it up for me to study.

“You know… it still amazes me how you ponies have hooves that can grab things the way they do,” I whispered, trailing my fingers over the contours beneath her hoof. Her hoof gently grasped my finger, the supple flesh beneath gripping it softly. “Wow…”

She giggled softly, and took my hand in her hoof to give it a similar study. “We may have hooves… but I’d say fingers are much more appealing.”

“Maybe…but I think I like your hooves more, personally…” I planted a gentle kiss on the skin beneath her hoof, earning a pleasant gasp.

“Come here,” she commanded, pulling me close and locking lips with me. We spent a few moments like that, just enjoying the rush that came with each caress of lips and brushing of a limb against each other.

Full Bloom eventually drew back from my lips, still giving me that smoldering smile of hers. She nodded to the pillows on her bed, and said softly. “Lie back. It’s my turn now.”

I did as she asked. Despite the fact that we had already had sex before, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of nervous excitement run through my body. Full Bloom slowly backed away from me, her eyes never leaving mine as she did so. She stopped at my knees, and glanced down at my erection, pushing against the fabric of my pants.

“Heh…I get it now…”

I gave her a curious look. “Get what?”

“Hm? Oh, sorry, sorry…” Full Bloom waved a hoof at me. “That human expression I’ve heard… pitching a tent. It makes sense now.” She lowered her snout and bit down on my zipper. Slowly, with deliberate care, she pulled it apart. Her hips swayed slowly from side to side as she began pulling at the hem of my pants. Soon, all that was left was the fabric of my boxers. Instead of removing those right away, though, Full Bloom instead pressed her snout against my length, humming softly and taking in a slow breath.

I couldn’t stop the groan from leaving me. Okay, this shouldn’t have turned me on as much as it was, but the way her hips continued moving as she began to really press into my groin was a lot more pleasurable than I would have thought. Probably because of the anticipation from knowing what would eventually come… no pun intended.

My boxers were becoming rather cumbersome by the time Full Bloom ceased with her rather lewd nuzzling session. I think she noticed this, and mercifully began to pull away at my boxers with her teeth. Her eyes lit up as my length was freed from my boxers, and she grinned. “There we go…”

With a slow and deliberate motion, Full Bloom lowered her mouth over my length, stopping about halfway and slowly dragging her tongue up my shaft. I shuddered as her velvet tongue flicked my head and caused my feet to curl and my hands to grip the fabric.

Okay, this was definitely a new experience. Receiving oral was something I experienced a few times, but goddamn was Full Bloom’s tongue skilled.

She curled her tongue and stroked the bottom half of my length while she enclosed her lips around my length again. She began to bob her head up and down at a steady pace, breathing out of her nose every few seconds and making the sexiest moan that sent wonderful tremors through my loins.

I couldn’t hold back the moan in my throat when she took my length in and held for a few seconds. I let out a shuddering breath as she hummed, closing her eyes and stroking my navel with a hoof.

“F-Full Bloom…” I breathed. At this rate, I was going to last very long.

She opened her eyes, both of her emerald irises shimmering with lust and mirth. She giggled as she sucked hard once more before my erection was freed of her lips. “You like that?” I couldn’t form a verbal reply, instead settling for a rapid nod that made her laugh. She smiled and leaned forward to plant a kiss on my neck. “Good,” she whispered. “I… I haven’t given oral to a male in a long time. It’s good to know I’ve still got some skill.”

I laughed breathlessly as my arms wrapped around her. “I nearly lost it when you went down on me at the end there.”

She grinned, and planted another wet kiss on my neck, slowly gliding her tongue up to my jawline. She let out a purr and nipped at my neck softly. I planted a few kisses along her forehead, around the base of her horn, and her ears. She shuddered each time my lips connected with her fur coat, puffs of her hot breath tickling my skin.

“St-stop…” she breathed, and I did so immediately. I gave her a worried look, but she only gave me a reassuring smile. “It’s okay… I… just… if you keep doing that and I’m going to be a puddy in your hands. I’d rather be coherent enough so you can enjoy this as much as me.”

I smiled as she gave me a tender nuzzle, and drew back a little. She looked down to my erection, and slowly positioned herself over my length. She looked back to me as my tip pressed against her slit. She leaned forward and locked lips with me, then pressed her hips down, taking me in at the same time.

I groaned into her mouth and involuntarily thrusted my hips forward, earning a moan from her. She began to bounce her rump against my hips, letting out heated breaths as she pulled away from my lips. Neither of us was really in sync as we grinded against one another, but we both couldn’t have cared less. The feeling we had of being joined together as we were was far more important to us at the moment.

Full Bloom began to gyrate against my body, rolling her hips in sensual, circular movements. I met her with a slow, deep thrust every few moments, earning a throaty moan each time from her.

“Darren…” She mewled into my neck as she held me tighter. “Cum for me…” She nipped my neck gently. “Please… please…”

It didn’t take much coaxing for me to meet that request. I was already hitting my limit with how fast she was grinding against me. I picked up my pace as she let out a string of ‘yes’ and ‘Darren’ intermittently between kisses. Then, with a final thrust, I felt a white hot jolt of electricity shoot up my spine as I released into her. She let out a weak gasp, and almost collapsed against me right then and there. I pushed myself further into her as her inner walls took in as much of me as they could.

It must have been a few minutes before she carefully lifted herself up from my length. She rested her rump over my groin, and tucked a hoof between her back legs. She began to tease her marehood, looking at me with pleading eyes.

“Need some help?” I offered with a crooked smile.

She let out a desperate whimper and nodded. “Yes…”

I placed a thumb gently over her swollen clit, her hoof resting over the back of my hand. I raised my gaze back up to her, and was happy to see her smiling as I began to tease her.

It was less than a minute before she let out a shaking gasp, and leaned back a bit. Her marehood twitched for a moment, then she came, soaking my stomach in her fluids. She collapsed against me as I began to feel exhaustion hit me hard.

“N-no… nopony has ever… done that with me before…” She said quietly, her heartbeat clearly felt against my own.

“Really?” I murmured, fighting back the drooping of my eyes. “I thought it was cute helping you get off like that…”

“Mmm…” She raised her head up and pressed her lips against my chin. “Most stallions I’ve had were a little weirded out by my request to help me masturbate. Most mares I had sex with would make me orgasm before it got to that point…”

I yawned, and laughed. “So, was I just not that good this time that you didn’t cum right away?”

“No, no…” She shook her head slowly. “I… I just… like it when somepony does it with me.” My eyes had closed by now, but I could still hear her. “Darren… you don’t think that’s weird, do you?”

“Mmmm… not at all. Sex should be fun for everyone involved. What’s so weird about trying to enjoy it?”

She must have approved of my answer, because a second later I felt her hooves slowly wrap around my neck as she planted a kiss on my lips. It was gentler than the previous ones, but the emotions behind it were still there. I returned it in kind, blindly feeling for her neck with my hand and running a hand over it.

“Thanks, Darren…” she hummed.

“No, thank you.” I yawned again. “I’m going to probably crash, if you don’t mind…”

She chuckled, “Same…” I could hear the sound of her magic come to life, and I felt the thin fabric of a bedsheet crawl up and cover us both. “See you in the morning.”

“Mhm… I’ll see you in the morning. Goodnight, Full Bloom…” I replied.

A moment passed, and then the blissful blanket of sleep settled upon me.

End of Chapter Four

Author's Note

One has to wonder... would long term exposure to magic cause any side-effects to humans? Would living in a land of magic like Equestria perhaps lead to some genetic mutations in future generations of humans?

...would Equestria become the birthplace of real human magicians? If so, someone needs to get cracking on making that supposed portal to Neo Equinenox. There's got to be some universe out there that has magic, talking ponies, right? Right?

Anyway, that's chapter four. Chapter five will begin Darren and the rest of the guys' training as Gentlemen. Updates will probably be chapter by chapter from here on out, but I am already a few chapters ahead. I just need to do editing and clean-up with them. I also have other stories I intend to work on more now that I got this ball rolling here.

As with the previous chapters, Demon Eyes Laharl, AJ Aficionado, and Firesight deserve a huge thanks for their help with this story. Their editing, suggesting, and in some cases, joking around, was very helpful.

Keep your eyes peeled for future updates, but in the meantime, thanks for reading! Until the next update, keep on keeping on, everyone!

Not a Boy, Not Yet a Gentleman

Gentleman in Training

by Denim_Blue

Chapter Five: Not a Boy, Not Yet a Gentleman

The rest of the weekend passed by rather uneventfully for Full Bloom and I. Sunday brought with it an unexpected rogue storm from the Everfree, but the Hoofington weather ponies managed to weaken it to a steady drizzle throughout most of the day. With the weather being less than ideal outdoors, Full Bloom and I decided to head over to my place and enjoy watching a few movies on my laptop, among them being Forrest Gump and Spirited Away, the latter of the two being one that Full Bloom was quite fond of.

When Monday rolled around, I found myself with nothing to do. Full Bloom had to work, Alex was still out of town with Sugar Sweet, and Gabe was already receiving training at Gentlemen For Mares. As such, I was mostly left to my own devices for the next two days. I had spent most of the time walking about town, getting some much needed groceries, and reading up on my brochure from Gentlemen for Mares. Tuesday was only a little more eventful since Full Bloom came to my place and we had a nice dinner together. Nothing much aside from that, since she had an early morning the following day, so she unfortunately had to go home.

Wednesday morning came, and after having a glass of milk and an apple—didn’t want to spoil my appetite for the at-work breakfast—I showered, threw on a nice, collared short sleeve shirt and khakis, and made my way towards Gentlemen for Mares.

It was about nine o’clock when I walked into the main lobby of the Hoofington Branch building. I was greeted by the faint smell of cinnamon and nutmeg and a cheery smile from the receptionist. I recognized the mare as Manila right away.

“Good morning, Darren,” she greeted, adjusting her thick-framed glasses with a hoof. She had her silky white mane done up in a tight bun today, and her tan coat was complemented by a light yellow silk scarf. I didn’t want to call her out on it, but she seemed to have a penchant for looks that would have been seen about forty years ago back on Earth. She made it work, though.

“Morning,” I replied with a wave. “So, uh…?”

She giggled. “You’re actually a bit early. Silky and the rest of the staff that will be handling your orientation are in the conference room. Feel free to wait here, or head back there. Breakfast will be held after the introductions are made. If you want some coffee, though, I can get you a cup.”

“That would be great, actually, I could use a cup. If you got some creamer and sugar, I’ll take a little of both.”

She gave a nod and got up from her chair, coming back a short while later with a cup of coffee in one hoof. “Here you go!”

I took a slow sip and sighed. It was a rich blend, whatever it was. I was about to take a seat in the lobby when I heard a door open in the back behind Manila’s counter. She and I both looked up to see a white coated pegasus with a blonde mane walk in. She looked like she had been running a marathon; her barrels were rising and falling steadily, her cheeks were flushed, and she was sweating. I raised an eyebrow as I noticed the blue and gold form-fitting flight suit she was wearing. What was a Wonderbolt doing here?

“Oh, Pizzelle, glad you made it,” Manila said with a giggle. “I take it your superiors were keen on letting you leave last night, huh?”

Pizzelle groaned, “No, Lieutenant Soarin’ insisted I get all my drills in last night, and by the time I was done, I was too tired to make the flight here. I got up early this morning and got here as fast as I could…” She looked to me and studied me with a scrutinizing eye. “You one of the recruits?”

“Erm… recruit—oh, yes, I’m a… one of the new Gentlemen, yes…”

She frowned, clearly looking less than impressed. “Hm. Manila, how many did Silky manage to pull in?”

Manila shook her head in amusement. “Five Gentlemen, Pizzelle. Darren here was our fifth.”

“You don’t say?” She gave me a final once over, and clucked her tongue. “I sure hope you’re ready, kid. You’re going to learn to hate or love me by the time I’m done with you.”

Wait, did she just call me ‘kid’? “Well, I look forward to getting to know you.” I gave a smile and a nod. She grunted a reply, and turned back to Manila. “I got my luggage in the spare office with the cot. Silky’s still okay with me bunking down in there, right?”

Manila gave her a nod. “Yep, and if you need something better, I think we can find a nice futon for you to sleep on.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ve slept on worse and been fine.” She made her way back through the way she came. “Later.”

I gazed at the door she exited through for several long moments before Manila’s amused chuckles stirred me from my thoughts.

“Don’t worry too much about her. She comes down hard on anyone she meets for the first time, but Pizzelle only means well. Her father was a member of the Royal Guard, and her mother works for the Canterlot Police Department. She was an only filly who grew up with two older brothers, so she comes off as a bit rough, but she grows on you.

“She’s a Wonderbolt, too,” I pointed out.

“Mm, well, technically she’s in the reserves. She still beats herself up over having not made it into the higher ranks, but she’s an amazing flyer in her own right. She’s usually helping train cadets, but has offered to help with getting you boys into shape… and now that I think about it…” Manila pulled out a folder from a small pile, and scanned it over quickly. “Yep, she’s also your pegasus teacher.”

“Uh… huh…” I took a sip of my coffee to hide the frown that was forming on my lips.

Manila just giggled. “Don’t worry, Darren. As long as you give her one hundred percent, you’ll earn her respect. She also makes amazing cookies, so there’s that, too.”

“I’ll remember that, then.”

The doors to the front opened, and I was greeted by the sight of Alex. He was wearing light blue long sleeved shirt and black pants. He had cleaned up his goatee a bit, too. In fact, as I took in his appearance more…

“Alex, did you get a haircut?”

“Hey, Darren. Yeah, Sugar Sweet’s younger sister visited yesterday, and wanted to try out my hair. Apparently, she’s a stylist in Fillydelphia. Does it look alright?”

“Yeah, I’d say so,” I said with a chuckle. “I’m just used to you letting your hair grow out for a while, then just getting a buzzcut. That looks like it was professionally done.”

Alex gave a grunt, running a hand through his dark brown locks. “Yeah… she may have gone a bit overboard. I didn’t want anything fancy, but I guess Sugar likes it.”

“How’s she doing, by the way?” I asked.

“She’s good, she’s good…” Alex chuckled. “She wanted me to get a list of your favorite kinds of sweets, by the way. Something about testing out some stuff with you guys. So, uh… if you have time, write down a list of like, five things for her. She’d appreciate it.”

I laughed, “That’s cute, Alex.”

“Lay off it, Gabe’s going to be giving me enough problems as it is, I’m sure.”

After Alex got himself a cup of coffee as well, he and I made our way to the conference room. Sure enough, there was Silky, along with a pale green earth mare with a red mane done up in two braids. She had what appeared to be two candied apples on either of her flanks. Next to the earth pony mare was a unicorn mare with dark orange coat that was bordering on brown. She had gray-blue eyes, a pale blonde mane similar to Silky’s, and a double-ended wrench cutie mark.

“And there’s the first of our group,” Silky said with a chipper smile. “Good to see you Darren, Alex.”

“Morning,” we both greeted.

“Darren, Alex, these two are Candy Apple and Silver Spanner.” She pointed to the earth pony mare and unicorn mare respectively as both waved in greeting. “Alex, Silver and Candy Apple here will actually be among your personal teachers, so you will be getting to know each other quite well in the weeks to come.”

Alex gave Silver a smile. “Pleased to meet you both.”

Silver Spanner giggled. “Likewise.”

“Well, you boys look younger than I was expecting,” Candy Apple commented with a chuckle. “Shoot, Silky, you should’ve warned me. I didn’t know we had a couple of studs this young joining. I might’ve bitten off more than I can chew.” She gave Alex an approving smile, and added. “Not that I’m complaining, mind you.”

Cute, she even has a southern Equestrian accent, I thought to myself. I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy towards Alex.

“Well, as soon as the rest of the boys and their teachers show up, we can get started,” Silky said. “In the meantime, you’re more than welcome to have something to eat.” She gestured to a table in the far corner. “We got some muffins, bagels, fruits—”

“Oh my god, Darren, they have waffles.” I turned to see that Alex had already made his way towards the breakfast buffet, and was stacking up about four waffles onto a plate. “Please tell me they have it… yes!” Alex lifted up a small pitcher of blueberry syrup, judging by the label. “Silky, whoever made this breakfast is amazing.”

“That’d be me,” came a reply from Candy Apple. “I hope you don’t mind, but I put apples and cinnamon in the waffles. Not sure if it was a great idea, so I have some waffles without anything in them.”

“Cinnamon apple waffles, Darren,” Alex continued. “This place keeps getting better.”

As Alex began digging into his waffles, I walked over to join him, picking out a few fruits and a chocolate chip muffin for myself.

As I sat down in a chair by the table in the center of the room, I heard three voices, one of them I recognized, down the hall leading to the room. I looked up in time to see Gabe, along with two other men I’ve never seen before, walk in.

Next to Gabe was an older man, probably around his mid-forties, with black hair that was peppered with streaks of gray. He stood about as tall as Alex, maybe a bit shorter, and had gray-blue eyes. He had a light dusting of five o’clock shadow along his face and very tan skin, though it looked natural, from years of living in warm weather. He was dressed in a short-sleeved red shirt and khaki pants on. He was carrying a briefcase in one hand, and had sunglasses resting on his forehead.

Behind the two was a young man about my age with wavy, dark brown hair that had faint streaks of copper color in it. His skin was a deep, olive tone, and much like the older gentleman, looked to be from years of living in warmer climate. His had deep brown eyes and a small soul patch under his lower lip. He was of similar size to Gabe, perhaps a little taller and a little more built.

“Oh, damn, Alex already dug into the breakfast,” Gabe said with a laugh. “Silky, you promised you’d hide everything until we showed up.”

Silky rolled her eyes and chuckled. “Let them be, Gabe, or I’ll tell Sugar Belle you’re misbehaving again.”

Gabe laughed, “Good luck with that. She likes to enable my misbehavior.” Gabe turned to the two men beside him and nodded to Alex and I. “These two are Alex and Darren.” He turned back to us. “This is Arnold,” he pointed to the older man, “and Martin. They started yesterday, so you two are the greenhorns around here.”

I smirked, and gave a nod to the two. “Hello. Hopefully Gabe hasn’t been too much trouble for you guys.”

Martin chuckled. “Nah, Silky keeps Gabe and me on a tight leash.”

“Not tight enough, if you ask me,” remarked Arnold, earning a laugh from Alex and myself. “Gabe can make a sailor blush with the number of dirty jokes he has.”

“Aww, come on, Arnoldo, you know you love them.” Martin chuckled as Arnold just smirked and shook his head. “It’s part of our calling as humans living in this wonderful land to spread dirty jokes and innuendos, after all.”

“Silky, why did you hire this boy again?” Arnold asked with genuine mirth in his tone, thumbing to Martin.

“He had a nice smile. I’m ashamed to admit, he had no difficulty in convincing me to hire him. It was Manila that recommended him to me, though, so you can blame her,” Silky replied.

“Gabe 2.0. Wonderful, just what we need,” Alex mumbled under his breath, earning a chuckle from me.

Silky cleared her throat, getting everyone’s attention. “Alright, well, we still are waiting on some of the teachers and other staff… and I think I hear a few more coming this way now.”

Sure enough, the room was suddenly flooded with color and femininity. Unicorns, pegasi, and earth ponies, all of them mares, walked into the room. Soon, there was about sixteen or more mares standing and sitting near the front of the room by Silky. They varied in build and the manner they carried themselves.

Now, I’m not going to lie; I was a little flustered with having so much attention focused on me, at least partially so. Several mares even winked playfully when I looked to them. I did my best to return their attention with a smile, though I think a few of them could tell I was a bit nervous if their giggles were any kind of indicator. Kind of odd, given the fact that I’ve already been intimate and was dating a wonderful mare right now. You think fluttering eyes and playful waves would be nothing for me, but nope, it still got a reaction out of me.

Then again, having over a dozen mares looking at you and openly flirting with you at once was a bit much, I suppose.

“Right, well, now that we’re all settled,” Silky began. “Welcome, all of you. I know a few of you have been here for a day or two now, but let me officially welcome you boys to Gentlemen for Mares. For the next few weeks, we’ll be training you all on everything you’ll need in order to become effective Gentlemen. We’ll be covering topics such as social norms, fashion trends, history, body language—”

“Don’t forget about sex,” added a mare in the group, earning a giggle from a few others.

Silky, being a good sport, just smiled and rolled her eyes. “Yes, thanks for the reminder, Windsweeper.”

“Anytime!” replied the mare.

Silky continued, taking a step forward and taking a clipboard from one of the mares that had entered. “Alright, now, before we get too deep into this, I think we can spend a bit of time so that you can meet your teachers personally. That we can all get an idea of who we are, and see where to start with each of you as far as training goes. Yes, that includes you, Gabe, put your hand down.” There was a chorus of chuckles and giggles as Gabe sighed dramatically. “Now then, first we have Martin…”

I watched as Martin went with three mares to a corner of the room, among the trio of ponies being the one who had made the remarks earlier about sex to Silky. Eventually, I was the last one to be called, and was greeted by three mares who gave me friendly smiles.

“Good morning, Darren,” greeted the unicorn pony of the trio.

Following behind her was the mare with the brace that I saw before, as well as Pizzelle, who was still in her flight suit. The unicorn had a pink coat with a bi-colored mane and tail consisting of two different shades of light blue. She wore a frilled dress saddle on her back, and had a choker with a purple gem around her neck. For a finishing to touch she had a light violet bow tied up in her stylish mane.

Beside her was Pizzelle, who looked a little more enthused to be here now, though she was still looking me over with a somewhat bored look. I decided not to let it get to me; Manila said to give her time, after all.

Last among the three was the earth pony with the brace. She had a light, sandy-yellow coat with a bi-colored mane of white and very light blue streaks. She had three apple slices for a cutie mark. “So, you’re the one that Silky said helped get this new program at the Hoofington branch started, huh?”

I laughed, waving a hand as I shrugged. “Sorta, but I think she blew it out of proportion by calling me a lifesaver. Regardless, she offered me the job, and I figured it’d be worthwhile.”

The unicorn smiled. “So I see. I’m Royal Ribbon, by the way.” She held out her hoof, and gave me an expectant look. I took it after a moment’s thought and shook it in greeting. She raised an eyebrow, an amused look on her face. “Hmm… that’s not what I was expecting…”

The earth mare chuckled. “Be nice, Ribbon. He’s just started.” She gave me a small smile, then added. “I’m Ambrosia, by the way, and this here is Pizzelle.”

I looked to Royal Ribbon, then frowned. “Uh… did I do something wrong?”

“No, no… well… not quite.” Ambrosia gave Royal a light nudge. “Ribbon here is just used to being doted on.”

“A lady should expect nothing less,” Ribbon said, though the playful tone in her voice was anything but serious. “Don’t worry about it, Mr. Halverson. We’ll have you up to speed in no time.”

“Physical speed, on the other hand,” Pizzelle cut in. “You’re not really… built, but you look alright. You could stand to gain a bit of muscle, though.”

“So I’ve been told. I blame it on my mother’s genes. She’s a fairly small woman.”

Pizzelle cocked an eyebrow, but smirked. “Well, then I guess we’ll just have to kick those genes around a bit and tell them to knock it off. By the time we’re through with you, you’ll be the envy of every man and stallion in Equestria.”

“I’ll try not to disappoint you, then.” A sudden thought came to mind, and my eyes widened as I looked back to the unicorn. “Wait… Royal Ribbon…” I studied her a bit. “You’re… not from Canterlot, are you?”

“I am, actually, yes. It’s easy to see, isn’t it?” She sighed. “I’m afraid my love for extravagancy is a hard habit to kick.”

“You’re not quite the most athletic pony, either. You could probably stand to lose a feewwwww…” Pizzelle’s words died on her lips as Royal Ribbon turned to her with a level look. “Your tail is a bit long. Maybe lose a few inches at the tip so it doesn’t get dusty.”

Ribbon arched an eyebrow, but said nothing further on the topic, instead returning her attention to me. “What were you saying again, Mr. Halverson?”

“Please, you can call me Darren. What I was going to ask, though, is if you’ve been on a radio program recently. Your name rings a bell.”

“Ah,” she laughed. “Yes, I was on True Talk last a few days prior.”

“Huh, so you’re a former politician, then?”

“A minor one, nothing special. I was more of a bureaucrat who wasn’t afraid to speak her mind. Earned me a few enemies in the castle, but Her Majesty seemed to appreciate my frankness.”

“Princess Luna or Princess Celestia?” I asked.

“Mm, both of them, actually, now that I think of it. Princess Luna seemed to have no qualms with me in the time I got to know her before she left to visit Earth.” She waved a hoof. “My apologies, this is a chance for you to know all of us a little better.” She gestured to Ambrosia, and smiled. “Dear, why don’t you tell him a little bit about yourself?”

“Oh, yes…” She scuffed a hoof. “Well, until about a year ago I worked for a construction company based out of Trottingham. I got into an accident, though,” she waved her leg in the brace a little. “It’s mostly healed, but my long-term disability ran out, and they let me go.”

“They can do that?”

“Mm, yep, and there wasn’t anything I could do about it, legally. I put up a huge fit, though.” She sighed deeply. “My sister-in-law works for the Manehatten branch of Gentlemen for Mares, and she suggested this job. I… haven’t been with many stalli—er, I mean, men, but I’m not a stranger to them.” She flushed a bit. “I look forward to working with you, Darren.”

I grinned a little, just enough to hide my canines. “Same here.”

“She’s quite the adorable little doll, isn’t she?” Ribbon asked me in a teasing tone. “Don’t let her demeanor fool you; she’s an animal in the bedroom.”

“R-Ribbon!” Ambrosia squeaked.

“Mm. She’ll probably break your pelvis if you’re not careful. All the more reason to get you into peak shape,” Pizzelle added, her lips curving into a small smile as Ambrosia began sputtering.

“W-what? I-I… that is not… it only happened once—I mean…” She was now beet red in the cheeks.

I laughed softly. “I suppose they’re just jealous, Ambrosia.” I winked to Ribbon and Pizzelle, who just smiled. “I’m still new to the world of mares myself. I just started seeing a mare not too long ago, actually.”

“Oh? Well, that should prove to be entertaining, then,” Ribbon added, her voice dropping a bit in volume. “Truth be told, the three of us have been brainstorming on ideas to help get you more in tune with the more… delicate portions of the job.” She rested a hoof on my knees and moved it in slow circles. “I’m sure it will be quite an enjoyable time.” she whispered huskily.

Pizzelle let out a snort. “Ease up, Ribbon. No need to scare the boy away.”

“I’m just letting him know what he has to look forward to,” Ribbon replied with a haughty look. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m a little peckish, so I’ll be grabbing something to eat for myself. Ambrosia, Pizzelle, are either of you hungry?”

“I’m good,” Pizzelle answered.

“No thanks,” Ambrosia said with a shake of her head.

With that, Royal Ribbon trotted off to the buffet table, humming a little tune to herself.

As soon as she was out of earshot, Pizzelle sighed. “She can be a bit overbearing, but she’s a good mare. She has more experience than either of us do, too.”

“Yeah, I was going to ask about that. You look like you’re a member of the Wonderbolts.” Pizzelle gave me a nod. “You must be really busy most of the time, so how’d you come about getting this job?”

“I get every other weekend off, unless we have a show that I’m needed for.” Pizzelle waved a wing a little. “I’m still working at becoming a member of the full-time crew, but the pay is okay for being in the reserve. That and I get three free square meals a day, and all the free oats that I want while training.”

“Really?”

“Yep. Gotta keep the energy up when you’re flying around all day.” She flexed her wings for emphasis. “But there have been a few weekends where I’ve need some companionship. I actually paid for a Gentleman on more than one occasion.” She cleared her throat, then added in a quieter tone. “I’ve been wanting to save up for a new place in Cloudsdale, though, and the slow season for us will be starting in Fall. So, instead of scraping by with the pay from being in the Wonderbolts when I won’t be performing, I decided to get a job here.”

“How did you hear about it, though?” I asked.

“A friend,” Pizzelle answered. “I’d rather leave it at that. Nothing bad, it’s just… they’d rather remain anonymous.”

I nodded in understanding. I had to remember that not everyone had a positive opinion about this place.

“So, what about you, Darren?” Ambrosia began. “What brought you here?”

“Long story short, I got let go from my old job and was unemployed for less than a whole day before Silky hired me. She apparently had a good feeling about me. Before that I worked for Ecosystems for Equestria as a field researcher in the Everfree Forest.

“Wait, you’ve been in the Everfree Forest?” Ambrosia asked. “I hear that place is dangerous.”

“It is, if you’re not attentive. That’s why we had two Royal Guards accompany us any time we went into the forest.”

“Huh, that’s kind of cool. Is it as bad as they say it is?” Pizzelle asked.

“I got bit by a Vampiric Jackalope once, but other than that, I came out with only bug bites and some rashes. Then again, I’m a human, so maybe I don’t smell as good as a pony to a manticore or whatever is lurking in there.” I laughed when Ambrosia’s eyes widened a bit. “We never ran into anything bigger than a timberwolf, and they usually scamper off if you make enough noise as a group.”

“What’s this I hear about timberwolves, now?” Royal Ribbon asked, having returned with a plate of fruit floating in her violet magic.

“Darren was just telling us about his escapades into the Everfree Forest for his job,” Pizzelle replied. “Apparently he’s been bitten by a jackalope before.”

“Vampiric Jackalope,” I reiterate. “There’s a big difference. One eats carrots, the other will try to eat you.”

“Good heavens, I hope it wasn’t too bad of an injury.”

“Nah, it healed up after I got it looked at by the nursing staff back in town.”

“Well, I’m not sure how much more time Silky will be giving us before she goes through orientation, so I suppose I’ll start by saying that all of us look forward to working with you, Darren.” Royal Ribbon batted her eyelashes before slowly biting down on a strawberry. She chewed it daintily while Pizzelle rolled her eyes and Ambrosia giggled in amusement.

“You’ll be seeing plenty of me, though,” Pizzelle added. “Between mock dates, education on social stuff, and fitness training, there’s going to be very little time that you won’t be seeing this mug.” She grinned. “Get used to me, otherwise you’re going to be in for a bumpy ride.”

“She’s referring to the ride being in the bed, by the way,” Ribbon added, earning a laugh from Ambrosia and myself.

The clopping of Silky’s hooves got our attention, as well as the rest of the room. The buzz of conversation died down as Silky smiled to all of us. “I hate to be the one to cut into the conversations, but we do have the rather dull, but important, task of discussing contractual obligations, your rights as employees, and so forth. The usual song and dance from what I’ve learned about human workers’ rights. Anyway, the sooner we can get this bit over with, the sooner we can get the actual training for the job underway.”

What followed next was a good two hours and some odd change of discussion on company work ethics and policies, and the typical legalese that came with any job in the modern age. While I took in what I could, it was hard to really listen without dozing off. Thankfully, Pizzelle was kind enough to poke me in the side every time I started zoning out. Though, in hindsight, she may have been doing it to amuse herself more than anything.

The second half of the orientation talk was pretty interesting, though. It talked more about the actual job, and what we as Gentlemen were expected to do. I had the papers with the guidelines and rules, but I could more or less sum it down to a few things: don’t be a jerk to your clients, remember you have the right to leave a client if you feel unsafe or uncomfortable and vice-versa, take care of yourself, and to always inform your Handler if there is a change of address or anything else that was vitally important. One thing that really sounded interesting was the system of preferred clients. Apparently, if a Gentleman enjoyed a particular client, they could request that they be given preferential status after talking with their Handler on the matter. Apparently, that gave clients a nice discount as well as more flexibility in scheduling.

Kind of neat, actually, considering it wasn’t uncommon for clients and Gentlemen to form bonds of sorts. It seemed like the company was almost encouraging bonding, in a way. It gave the company a more personal feel to it.

It was almost noon by the time Silky had finished the talk. I looked to see that Alex was currently scrawling down a few things on some paper he got from Silky, Gabe was chewing on the eraser of his own pencil, Martin was quietly flirting with one of the mares, and Arnold was closing the clasps of his suitcase while sharing a quiet conversation with one of his own teachers.

“So, you get all that?” Ambrosia asked.

“Uh… I think so,” I said with a laugh.

“Really? Because I still can’t remember all of it,” she remarked with an amused smile. “Must be a benefit of attending college, huh?”

“You get pretty good at taking notes after years of doing it,” I admitted with a shrug. “Sadly, not all of us are particularly gifted students, right Gabe?”

“Hey, C’s get degrees,” Gabe countered.

I gestured to him with a look that simply said ‘there you go’ and Ambrosia giggled further.

“Well, now that we have that out of the way, let’s take a quick break before we give a tour of the facility.” Silky said, stretching her own wings a bit and rolling her neck. “Oh, and Martin, while I appreciate the flirting, please keep the bedroom eyes and winks to a bare minimum when your supervisor is trying to explain your job to you, hm?” She had a smile on her lips, but I could see the serious gleam in her eyes.

“Whatever you say, Silky,” Martin replied with a smile.

So, with that, I made my way out of the conference room, finding myself being accompanied by Ambrosia herself. Royal Ribbon was talking with one of Gabe’s teachers, who to my surprise was a thestral.

“Huh, I didn’t notice her earlier,” I remarked with a smile.

Ambrosia followed my gaze and smiled softly. “Ah, that’s Dawn Weave. She’s from Hollow Shades, but moved here with her siblings about a year ago. Her brother works night shift at the steel mill, and her sister’s an officer for the local constabulary.” She sighed softly. “The poor girl... Dawn Weave was dating a stallion in town for a few months before he left for Las Pegasus. She didn’t feel right leaving her siblings behind, but he was set on moving. She was a bit broken up over it.”

“Dawn Weave, huh? That’s a pretty unique name for a thestral.”

Ambrosia let out a soft hum. “She likes early mornings, right around sunrise. She’s also a poet, and likes writing just when dawn is approaching and the birds are waking up.”

“Sounds like you know her pretty well.”

Ambrosia blushed. “O-oh, well, she and her siblings are my next door neighbors. They’ve helped me out a lot with things while my leg was healing up.”

“You live alone?” I asked.

“Yes, but I choose to. I had several stallions ask me out when I while I was working, but…” She frowned, clearly thinking her words carefully. “I… never had much of an interest in them. I mean, I’ve dated a few stallions when I was younger, but…” She shrugged. “I just wasn’t that eager to go looking for one to start a herd with, you know? My parents were always on my case about it, which didn’t help.”

“I know that feeling.”

“Hey, Darren,” came the voice of Pizzelle. I looked around to see her approaching me with a folder tucked under a wing. “Silky wanted me to give this to you. It’s the curriculum for your next few weeks. Try to get an idea of what to be prepared for, and make sure you keep track of any important dates. You’ll be doing most of this on your own outside of fitness training with the rest of the boys, so no one is going to be holding your hand.”

She offered me the folder, which I took and opened up. I perused through the papers, coming across a list of some of the things that will be covered: Canterlot social etiquette, proper table manners, popular pony terminology vs. popular human terminology, brushing tips, current trends in Equestrian fashion, Equestrian music…

The list went on and on, and I noticed a few pages in that the subjects became a lot more inclined towards the intimate subjects of the job: level one positions, level two positions, dealing with clients in heat, how to deal with ‘clingers’, Magic Boosters and how to properly use them, human vs pony erogenous zones…

“Damn, you folks don’t fool around,” I murmured, sifting through the rest of the papers. Most of them were bullet-pointed notes on things to remember. I’d look them over as I needed to, but for now, I closed the folder.

“Don’t get too excited; it’ll be a little while before the most of the fun stuff starts… well, Ambrosia here might give you a go a little early, but only because she’s been looking forward to this since we all finished our own training.”

“Pizzelle…” Ambrosia let out a huff. “I haven’t been that bad.”

“Okay, okay, Ribbon’s been worse.” Pizzelle leaned close, and said in a voice just above a whisper. “Word to the wise, Darren; Ribbon’s all sorts of kinky in the bedroom.”

“Is that so? Strange to hear that coming from a mare who’s a fan of roleplay and always being the dominant one when rutting.”

The look on Pizzelle’s face was priceless. I had to force down a smile as she turned several shades of red and her eyes widened. She spun around to see Ribbon giving her a very smug look.

“R-Ribbon!”

The pink unicorn paid no mind to the pegasus as she walked up to me. “Fret not, Darren, I may have certain… inclinations when it comes to intimacy, but I assure you that I will never do anything that you are uncomfortable with. I may try to encourage you to give a few things a try, but I shall never push too hard.” She looked over her shoulder, and gave Pizzelle a cheeky grin. “I wouldn’t worry too much about Pizzelle, either. She talks tough, but she’s a real dear once you get to know her.”

I decided to remain silent as Pizzelle gave Ribbon the mother of all annoyed glares, her wings flaring up a bit as her ears folded back a little. She eventually let out a deep sigh, and snorted. “Okay, I guess earned that one, Ribbon. I didn’t mean anything I said in a bad way, though.”

“Nor did I, Pizzelle. I simply felt it wasn’t right to bite back a little, as it were.” Ribbon turned to me, fluttering her eyelashes as she met my gaze. “Besides, I’m sure Darren is eager to work with us.”

“I’d be lying if I said otherwise,” I replied.

“You see?” Ribbon said, waving a hoof to me. “There’s no need to worry, Pizzelle. Come now, I believe Silky is going to give us that tour she was talking about.”

Silky guided our group through the modest building. Aside from the front lobby where we came in, there was a room behind Manila’s desk where they kept records, both in a file cabinet and on a computer, as well as a hallway leading to the back entrance. The building also had a break room and lobby where Silky had interviewed us, a weight room, Silky’s office/lounge, and a few spare rooms that served for handlers to do paperwork, and in Pizzelle’s case, make their home for the time being.

The back entrance of the building lead to a rather spacious, fenced-in yard. There was a patio with wooden reclining chairs overlooking an underground pool. Further off was a small basketball court and a horseshoe pit.

All in all, it was a pretty nice setup.

“While this is your place of business, we tried to make it a welcoming place as well for all of you, both Gentlemen and handlers,” Silky said as she lead us out onto the lawn. “The pool is open for employee use at any time, and we have sports equipment in the closet of the south office room if you ever want to play a game.” She smiled as she turned to face all of us. “Any questions?”

“Uh… yeah, actually.” I turned to see Gabe raising a hand. “Skinny-dipping in the pool… yea or nay?”

The question itself seemed to catch Silky by surprise. She blinked twice, and quickly schooled her features, giving Gabe an amused grin. “Well, I suppose since it is a fenced in yard, there’s no harm. I mean, us ponies don’t wear clothes that often as it is. Just don’t go flaunting your stuff to the neighbors.”

Gabe fistpumped while Alex and I facepalmed and groaned respectively.

When the tour came to an end, Silky excused herself to get some paperwork finished that needed to be mailed out by tomorrow. Like the rest of the guys, I was pulled away by my respective teachers, who seemed all too eager to have some time alone with me.

Interpret that however you like.

So, about a half hour later I was sitting outside a small café, sipping on a coffee while Royal Ribbon, Pizzelle, and Ambrosia chatted away about various things. Mostly small talk; family, where they grew up, latest news in the social world of Equestria. I remained mostly silent, contributing my thoughts only when asked.

“Mm. Perhaps this should be considered your first lesson, Darren,” Ribbon said, twirling a lock of her hair in a hoof. “I know you’re not trying to be impolite, but it’s also important for a Gentleman to be up to date on the latest things in Equestria.”

I gave her a sheepish grin. “I… have to admit, talking about the latest Equestrian trends has never been my strong suit.” I shrugged as Pizzelle gave me an understanding nod. “Still, I’m willing to get to a level where I can at least know what’s going on.”

“That’s a wonderful attitude to have,” Ribbon replied. “I suppose we could start by asking if you’ve ever been to Manehatten.”

“Briefly, back when I first arrived. I took a train from there to Hoofington, and to be honest, I’ve spent the majority of my time on Tellus living in central Equestria.”

“You’ve never been to Neighagara Falls or Las Pegasus?” Ambrosia asked.

“Nope. I live a pretty frugal lifestyle. Money’s never been much of a thing with me; I think I’ve spent more on friends and family than I have on myself. Just ask Gabe sometime, he’ll tell you how much he owes me without a hint of shame.”

Ambrosia hummed in thought, then looked to Ribbon. “You think Silky would put some money down on a trip to Las Pegasus?”

“The sooner he’s acquainted with the place, the better, I suppose,” Ribbon said with a nod. “We’ll worry about that later. For now, let’s talk about the latest news. Let’s see… ah, here we go.” Ribbon picked up a magazine on a nearby table and flipped through it to a section that appeared to be on fashion. “Here, do you have any familiarity with the current trend in manestyles?”

“To be honest, no, but I can tell you what I’ve noticed seems to be popular. A lot of mares have been going for manes with curled bangs, and the wispy tails seem to be pretty popular.” I shrugged as they gave me an expectant look. “Like I said, following trends has never been my strong suit.”

“That’s fine, Darren. We wouldn’t expect you to completely change yourself, but it will help you a lot to have a basic knowledge. You’re right, by the way. I myself have always had a love for the wispy tail fashion.” Ribbon emphasized her point by lifting up the end of her tail with her magic to show me.” If you go to Canterlot, though, manestyles are much more complicated. The Crystal Empire is a bit ‘outdated’ some would say, though I personally love the archaic look. Give it another ten years and the ancient pony fashion of braiding strands and jewelry pieces tied into the mane will be all the rage.”

Pizzelle rolled her eyes. “Sorry, Darren, I can’t contribute much to this. The Wonderbolts don’t have much in the way of manestyles and tail styles other than, ‘Don’t let it get in the way of your flying’.”

“One thing you’ll notice is that most stallions have shorter tails.” Ambrosia gestured to the ponies walking around the area. “It’s interesting, really, since most male humans also like to keep their hair shorter.”

For the next hour, Ribbon and Ambrosia gave me a lecture on some basic constants in pony mane styling and tail maintenance. Pizzelle, while less inclined towards such topics, did mention a few things, like how one could tell if a mare or stallion served in law enforcement or the Royal Guard. Trimmed tails and manes were the typical thing to see for guards and officers of the law.

Ribbon produced a brush at one point and ran it through her mane, all while giving me a few tips as she did so.

“How come most humans don’t put brighter colors in their hair dye?” Ambrosia asked at one point.

I laughed. “You’d be surprised how crazy some hair colors can be. Honestly, I have nothing against it, but I think the human tendency is to have hair appear to be a more natural color. Humans are mammals, and not many mammals have overly bright colors like you ponies do. We’re typically shades of brown, black, gray, white, but there are exceptions, of course. It’s all based on pigments in our skin and hair color.” I rubbed my chin, then added. “I’m sure at some point there was a divergence in the evolutionary line, and whatever creatures that had more natural colors to fit with their environment succeeded for various reasons.”

When I looked back up at the three mares, I saw Ambrosia and Ribbon giving me amused looks while Pizzelle had an eyebrow raised.

“Sorry, went on a bit of a tangent there, didn’t I?” I laughed. “I’ll try to rein that in.”

“You’d be surprised how many would find that rambling adorable, Darren,” Ambrosia said with a smile. “It was nice to listen to. It made a good point, too. I can’t think of many non-pony mammals with bright colors outside of a tiger… though that’s not too far off from brown or a dull red, is it?” She chuckled. “I’m glad we got you for a Gentleman.”

“Mm. Did you study animals in school?” Ribbon asked.

“Eh, I’m just a biology graduate who got lucky and got an invitation to Equestria. It’s… actually, I’ll be honest, I’m still a bit boggled by how brightly colored you ponies are. I’m not complaining, it’s just…”

“Jarring?” Ribbon suggested.

“Very. I guess the pegasi take off the shock a bit, since they have wings. Just go to the rainforests of Earth sometime and you’ll see some of the most brightly colored birds in the world.”

Pizzelle lifted her white colored wings, and snorted. “Kinda got ripped off in that department, huh? White coat and wings and a blonde mane.”

“Oh, dear, don’t talk down about yourself like that,” Ribbon said. “I’d love to have your figure, and you have a gorgeous mane. I just wish you’d let it hang down once in a while instead of keeping it in that tight bun all the time.”

Pizzelle gave a grunt, but said nothing.

“No, I think she’s right, Pizzelle,” I added. “I mean, so what if you’re not brightly colored? You’ve got wings, and you’re a damn Wonderbolt. That’s more than most ponies can say about themselves, even among pegasi.”

Pizzelle smirked a little. “Thanks.”

Ambrosia looked up at a clock hanging from a post and sighed. “I’m afraid I have to get going soon. I’m traveling to Manehatten to see my brother and sister-in-law for about a week or so.” She gave me a small, sympathetic smile. “Once I get back, we’ll be spending a few days just the two of us, so I can catch up with Ribbon and Pizzelle on a few things that you’ll need to know about earth ponies.”

“I’ll make sure Ribbon doesn’t hogtie him to her bed with rope while you’re away,” Pizzelle joked, earning a overly dramatic gasp from Ribbon.

“I guess I’ll leave him in your capable hooves, then,” Ambrosia laughed. “Take care, girls. Bye, Darren!”

“Safe travels,” I said, waving goodbye as she headed down the road.

As soon as Ambrosia was gone, Ribbon turned to Pizzelle. “Honestly, Pizzelle? Rope?” She let out a snort. “I’d at least use something softer, like velvet or silk. No need to cause any rope burns.”

Pizzelle looked to me and gestured to the unicorn with a hoof. “This is what you have to look forward to for two months, Darren. Hope you’re ready.”

I just chuckled, still finding myself looking forward to what lay ahead.

Eventually it was time for Pizzelle and Ribbon to depart, but not before leaving me some ‘homework’. Seeing as I had a lovely marefriend, Ribbon and Pizzelle saw it fit for me to practice brushing with her.

Full Bloom, unsurprisingly, loved the pampering.

“Mmm…” said unicorn hummed as I ran a hairbrush through her mane. The two of us were currently sitting on the large recliner in my humble abode, Full Bloom lying comfortably across my lap. “Darren, can we do this more often? I’ve never had a stallion brush me before.”

I replied with a gentle nip to her ear, earning a gasp from her. “I’d love to. It’s relaxing, actually.”

“Really?” Full Bloom tilted her neck to the side, a silent request for me to start tending there. I set down the hairbrush and switched over to a soft bristle brush, taking only a moment to figure out which one was which.

“Yeah, I really do enjoy it,” I said as I ran the soft brush along her neck, earning a contented exhale from Full Bloom. “I’m helping you, and bringing out the best in your coat and mane… not to mention you seem to be enjoying this, am I right?”

“It is soothing. You said you learned how to do this from your teachers after only a few hours of talking to them?” She asked me, a hint of amusement in her tone.

“Yep,” I paused as I noticed a stubborn snarl of hair in Full Bloom’s mane, and quickly switched back to her mane brush. “Hold on, I missed a knot. I’ll see if I can get it.”

“Oh, sure,” Full Bloom tilted her head for me. “That’s neat, though. I didn’t think they’d teach you stuff like that.”

“It’s just basics. Believe it or not, I have some notes in my folder on brushing tips.” I kneaded the knot with the brush, letting out a satisfied grunt as I loosened it. “There, that’s gone.”

Full Bloom’s hair was naturally curly, so it had been a delicate job working on her mane and tail. She had been patient with me, though, and offered her own advice on working with the brushes. She even kept the wincing and painful grunts to a minimum when I had first gotten started, all while patiently giving me tips on how to work with her mane. With any luck, I’d be at least halfway decent with the comb and brush techniques before I was a full-fledged Gentleman.

“So, I was reading up on that big concert in Fillydelphia,” I began conversationally. “Never knew there was any real hard rock bands in Equestria.”

“Hm?” Full Bloom looked back to me, then smiled. “Oh, yeah, I heard about that. They’re called… uh… I can’t remember their name, but they’re that one band with the female griffon singer, right?”

“I think they call themselves Nimbus Wake or something, but yeah, Pizzelle told me they’re pretty heavy as far as Equestrian or Aeric music goes.”

She turned to look up at me, tilting her head a tad to the side and giving me a curious look. “What about them?”

I shrugged. “Just thought it was cool that this world has so many similarities to Earth. It’s kind of scary, actually.”

Full Bloom hummed in thought. “You want to go to the concert?”

I shook my head. “I don’t think I have nearly enough bits saved up for a concert that’s going to sell like hotcakes once the tickets are on sale. They’re a pretty big name in the music industry, right?”

“Eh,” Full Bloom waved a hoof. “I could set us up with some tickets, I bet.”

“Let me guess,” I began, smirking a little as I resumed brushing her, now using the soft brush on her back. “You got a friend who can hook you up with some tickets, right?”

She gave me a playful smile. “A lady can’t reveal all her secrets, Darren.”

I clucked my tongue and ran a hand along her neck, earning a pleased sigh from her. “Fine, fine, keep your secrets from me. It just makes you all the more appealing, anyway.”

She lifted her head up and gave me a peck on the cheek. “That’s my intention, Darren.”

After I finished brushing her, she slid off my lap and dug into her saddlebag that she had brought over. “I know you’re not big on these sorts of things, but I figured I’d bring over a little something to celebrate your new job.” I watched as she pulled out an object wrapped in paper, floating it over to me and placing it in my lap.

I looked to her, and she simply nodded to the present, giving me a nod.

I opened it, only to gasp. “Full Bloom… how did…?”

“There’s a store down the road that sells jewelry and stuff like that. I saw it on display, and figured you might like it.” She gave me a smile. “It was crafted by a minotaur jeweler.”

It was a watch. To be more precise, it was a watch that seemed more appropriate on the wrist of some big CEO or tycoon of some sort than in my hands. There was a transparent clock face with stylized numbers encircling the face. In the upper right corner there was a smaller subdial that showed the day’s date, and another subdial on the lower left that indicated—if the crescent moon were any indication—the current movement of the moon and sun. I don’t know what kind of metal the watch itself was made of, but it had a silver color and weighed a bit more than any watch I’ve ever owned in the past.

“It’s called a Mynos IV Ortus. The entire band and case are made from platinum, which I hear is pretty rare in the minotaur lands. The hands are made from sapphire, and the numbers are made from gold. I was told there are only fifty watches like that in Equestria, and two hundred throughout all of Tellus. Don’t worry about it breaking or getting damaged by water, either; the store owner told me it has a strong durability and water seal enchantment that will last for at least forty years. That little subdial with the sun and moon is actually enchanted to adjust with the celestial bodies, so it will change if you flew over to the other side of Tellus.”

I placed the watch back in its case with great care. “Full Bloom…” I smiled, but shook my head. “This… I couldn’t possibly—”

She walked towards me and placed a hoof on my knee. “Take it. Please.” She gave me a gentle smile. “Just let it be a way of saying thanks for being such a wonderful friend… and a wonderful lover.”

I frowned. “We haven’t even been together for a week, Full Bloom. I really appreciate this, believe me, I do, but… this is like… an anniversary gift that middle-aged couples with lots of money should get each other after being together for twenty years.” I looked at the watch case, and sighed. “How much did this cost… if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Less than you think,” she replied, gently rubbing my knee with a hoof in a reassuring manner. “The store owner had it marked down because they were having a moving sale. It was like… fifty percent off, at least.”

That still didn’t help. There were watches that looked like this one back on Earth that easily ran into the six digit numbers when it came to price. My uncle Dale was a bit of an enthusiast when it came to expensive office decor and apparel—especially over-priced ballpoint pens—but even he drew a line on such purchases. Watches were one of those things, but he always had an appreciation for the expensive brands. I knew a thing or two about them as well, or at least could tell when something was more expensive than all of my worldly possessions combined.

“You’re going to be a Gentleman, Darren, and I want my Gentleman to be the envy of every other guy in the business. You’re going to fit the role, I already know that, but I want you to look the role as well. That way, when you’ve got some high class mare from Canterlot giving you the once over she’ll know you’re the real deal.”

I still felt guilty for accepting this present from her. It just felt wrong to take it, but she was insistent on me having it. She didn’t get upset when I said she didn’t have to spend all that money on me, instead saying that she still had plenty of money in her bank accounts to live off of comfortably. I didn’t ask how that was the case, instead giving in to her stubborn kindness and promising to take care of the watch.

“I’ll wear it when I start taking on the big name clients,” I said with a smile. After several long moments, I added, “Any idea who would be considered a 'big name'?”

She grinned. “How about just wearing it for every date and gauging their importance by how they treat you?”

That was… surprisingly meaningful, and I couldn’t help but agree.

I got up from my seat and crouched down so I was eye level with her. I pressed my lips to hers and held them there for a few moments. Full Bloom leaned into the kiss a little, her back left leg lifting ever so slightly as she did so. When I pulled away, she was breathing a little faster, and smiling giddily.

“Thank you,” I said, wrapping my arms around her. “You’re a wonderful mare, Full Bloom. I’m the luckiest guy in all of Tellus and Earth for having you for a marefriend.”

She let out a soft mewl as I planted another kiss on her neck before slowly parting. She whined in protest, but made no attempt to pull me back. Despite my desire to continue with our little session of intimacy, both of us had to be up early for work.

“I don’t know if my bed will be as enjoyable as yours. It’s not as big as yours, after all.”

She gave me a gentle bump with her hip as we made our way to my bedroom. “I think I’ll manage. We’re well past the point of needing extra space in a bed, after all.”

I chuckled and gave a nod of agreement. Full Bloom truly was an amazing mare, and not just because she bought a watch that probably would have cost a small fortune. It was the fact that she was supporting my choice to pursue this job, and trusted me. I know the social norms of Equestrians differed from my culture, but it still meant a lot that she had no problem with me being a Gentleman.

I paused at the doorframe of my bedroom, and looked to the unicorn as she hopped onto my bed. When she noticed me watching her, she grinned and raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“Just thinking about how awesome you are.” I walked into the bedroom and threw off my pants and shirt, settling under the covers in my boxers. In no time at all, Full Bloom had settled into my arms, her back pressed against my stomach. I ran my fingers gently over her barrels and planted a few soft kisses on her neck. “I wish I had met you sooner, Full Bloom.”

“Same here,” she answered with a stifled yawn.

A thought occurred to me suddenly. I wasn’t sure entirely on how the intricacies of dating in the world of ponies, but I felt a need to put this out there, if not for my conscience’s sake, then for hers. “Full Bloom?”

“Hm?” She answered, her ears flicking as she turned her head a bit.

“I… I’m still learning how this is all going to work between us, but I just want to say that… well, since I’m going to be with other clients and… probably having sex with most of them, I think it’s only fair that, if you ever want to do something similar with another pony, human, or whatever… I don’t have a problem with it.”

She tensed a little, and rolled over to face me completely. “Darren?”

“It’s only fair. I mean, there’s probably going to be times where I’m gone for a few days at a time, you know? I only want you to be happy. If… if there’s a mare, stallion, human, griffin, whatever… I just want you to know that I wouldn’t be upset if—”

“Darren, I wouldn’t—”

I pressed two fingers against her lips gently. “I understand, but I’m just saying so. Just in case you have a change of heart. You’re my special somepony… that’s the proper term, right?” She nodded. “No one is going to just take that away from you. I just wanted to make that clear, so don’t worry about anything like that.”

For a moment, I thought I might have offended her. I opened my mouth to apologize and explain, but she cut me off with a giggle and a nuzzle to my cheek. “Such a goofus.”

“Hey, I’m being genuine here. I don’t want you to suffer through periods of me being gone… especially when you’re in heat.”

She shook her head a little and planted a kiss on my cheek. “Thank you. I guess you have a point. I might find myself pining for you, but I don’t want you to think that I can’t stand a dry spell, either. I’m a big girl.” She shuffled a little closer to me, and nestled into the crook of my neck. “I appreciate it, though. If I ever find myself in that kind of situation, I’ll let you know first.”

I closed my eyes and let out a yawn. “Fair enough. Just let me know if you ever get together with one of the Wonderbolts.”

A snort of laughter was her only reply.

Satisfied with our brief talk, I adjusted my embrace around Full Bloom and felt the weight of sleep settle over me.

End of Chapter Five

Author's Note

And so begins our valiant heroes intrepid journey into the realm of Gentleman training. What lies ahead of him? Will he be up to the task? Will he survive? Only I know for certain, and I'm not talking!

A big thank you to my pre-readers Firesight, AJ Aficionado, and Demon Eyes Laharl for helping clean this up and giving helpful feedback. If you like this story so far, I'd recommend you check out their works as well, especially Demon Eyes Laharl's, considering he set up the entire base upon which the Gentleman for Mares story series is sitting upon.

Anyway, that's all for now. I'd like to hear any feedback from you wonderful readers, and until the next update, keep on keeping on! Later!

Gentleman 101

Gentleman in Training

by Denim_Blue

Chapter Six: Gentleman 101

“... and it was around this time that the push for equal rights for stallions in Equestrian society took place. While there was much resistance from the nobility and upper class, the vast majority of Equestria’s populace felt that equality between genders was not just morally sound, but necessary for our country.”

I jotted down notes with a practiced ease as I listened to the voice of our current lecturer standing before the five of us in one of the small conference rooms of the Gentleman for Mares building. Luckette was her name, and while she was one of the teachers here—Arnold’s earth pony teacher, if I remembered right—she had also worked as an archivist for the Manehatten Museum of Equestrian History. As such, her knowledge on Equestrian history was rather extensive.

She was also rather cute, and I will admit the way she hummed as she wrote notes and erased them on the chalkboard was adorable. Her upbeat attitude really helped keep the lecture interesting.

“Are there any questions so far?”

Alex’s hand rose as he finished the last of his notes.

“Yes, Alex?”

“You mentioned something about Princess Celestia herself being involved in this movement. I imagine that probably helped a lot for everyone trying to push for equality, right?”

“Mm!” Luckette nodded, her curly blonde mane bobbing as she smiled. “Princess Celestia has always been known for her rather laissez faire policy on society unless it poses a detrimental affect to the country. This was one of those instances where there were recorded instances of her advocating a change. It shocked more than a few of the traditionalists who had been long supporters of hers.”

“How… bad was it for stallions?” asked Martin. “I mean, you mentioned that they were seen as property for a long time. Earth went through some ugly stuff like that, but it was revolving more around women instead…”

Luckette’s smile faltered for a moment. “It… was pretty bad. It’s part of the reason herds exist, really. Mares would simply keep stallions around as a means to reproduce and provide them with… relief, if you catch my meaning. They were used as comfort horses, but with far less freedom and no pay in many cases. Mares of higher standing were even known to have a few stallions to choose from. Most stallions had little in the way of being able to escape this unless they were farming or serving in the military, or somehow managed to gain enough money to keep themselves in a position of power.” She shook her head. “Even then, it wasn’t uncommon for a mare to pull a stallion away from such duties if she herself had enough influence and power to back up her actions.”

Alex grunted with a hint of wry amusement. “And… there are mares who still favor these traditional beliefs today?”

“Not exactly to this extent, at least not very often.” Luckette waved a hoof. “Most often, when a mare is considered ‘traditional’ these days, it’s a way of saying she’s more inclined towards the idea of being the head of the household and being the main provider in a family; it’s a bit of a dominance thing in many cases. It’s actually quite similar to the older gender roles of Earth’s patriarchal societies.” She raised a hoof as she continued. “Traditional mares of today shouldn’t necessarily be seen as bad ponies, though, let me make that clear. I know of a few mares who are considered ‘traditional’ by today’s standards, and they are wonderful individuals. They just don’t like the idea of having the attention of their stallion divided between other mares, and tend to be against herd relationships. Unfortunately, they tend to be given a bad reputation since most of Equestrian society is pro-herd family.”

“What about you?”

Luckette and the rest of us looked to the back towards Arnold.

“Hm? What about me?” Luckette asked, her ears flicking a bit with curiosity as she looked at Arnold.

Arnold gave her a small, knowing smile. “Luckette, forgive me if I seem a bit rude, but would I be wrong in saying you favor a few traditional values?”

Luckette, for her part, didn’t seem all that flustered at all by the question. If anything, she stood a little taller. “Some would say so, but I wouldn’t go so far as to call myself a ‘traditional mare’. For example, I don’t like the idea of a mare treating her stallion as nothing more than free field labor and a walking sex toy. However, I do believe in a few of the less… extreme values that traditional mares have, I suppose.”

“Like…?” Arnold asked encouragingly.

Luckette nodded as she went on. “I’m of the mindset that a mare shouldn’t have to be at a stallion’s constant beck and call, or be treated as just another number to add to his growing herd. A relationship should be a give and take for both mare and stallion, something that I can assure you a traditional mare would never believe in. Traditional mares, as we discussed today, were all for maintaining the authority and were against the concept of gender equality.” She paused, as though collecting her thoughts. “Even so… with that in mind, I’m personally not a major fan of the modern herd family that Equestria tends to favor.” She adjusted the red beret on her head while walking around her small podium. “If two ponies feel that they want to spend their lives together, then they shouldn’t be pressured into taking in a few more individuals just to meet the expectations of society. That’s not to say that those who want to form a herd shouldn’t be allowed to do so. I just feel there should be freedom to choose without public disdain. I personally like the idea of a relationship where there’s no need to divide attention when neither party wants to. The same can be said for a relationship between two mares or two stallions, I suppose. As long as the feelings between the parties involved aren’t being hurt or neglected, it’s fine with me.”

Arnold’s smile widened a little, and he nodded. “I see. Thanks for be open with me about that.”

Luckette flushed ever so slightly in the cheeks, but maintained her poise and simply nodded. “Of course. It doesn’t seem to be a problem with you boys, but we want you to know that while you are receiving an education here, we don’t need to maintain the same formalities as a school at all times. Your jobs are rather personal, after all. It’s only right that you come to understand the ponies you’ll be working with and tending to.”

I couldn’t help but smile a bit as the mare concluded her lesson with a quick recap of what we had covered in regards to Equestrian society and the history of stallions’ rights. She definitely carried herself in a manner that exuded confidence and pride, something that was comforting to see in someone responsible for our education… even if such education was merely to make us good at giving pleasure.

“Right, well, tomorrow I’ll be lecturing again, but we’ll be covering the topics of Canterlot’s social norms and the reasons they seem to vary so much from most of Equestria. I’ll also have a written exam for you all to take this coming Friday—” A series of groans could be heard from Martin and Gabe cut her off. “Oh, hush, I’m a generous grader, as long as I can tell you’re improving.” She looked to the doorway, and smiled. “Ah, and there’s my replacement foalsitter for you boys. Hello, Pizzelle.”

I was the first to turn to the doorway, and sure enough, there was the Wonderbolt mare, looking as stern as she had when I first met her. She was not in her flight suit this time, and had a whistle tied along her neck while a pair of sunglasses rested on her forehead. I noticed her adjusting a clipboard under her wing as she walked in.

“Morning, Luckette,” Pizzelle greeted as she reached the front of the room where the chalkboard was. She turned to face the five of us, and cleared her throat. “Alright, did all of you bring clothes for exercising outdoors with you?” All of us nodded. “Good, because otherwise I’d be making you run around in your birthday suits, depending on my mood.” She smirked. “You’re welcome to see if I’m joking about that, too.”

“Damn,” Gabe chuckled, turning to me. “You got roped with her for an instructor, Darren?”

“Something funny, Einsworth?” Pizzelle asked, calling Gabe by his last name.

Gabe spun around to face her. “Nope. Not a thing, ma’am.”

“Uh huh. Let me just make this clear; by the time I’m done with you boys, you may very well hate me a little, if not a lot. However, you will also learn that while I am harsh, I am also fair. So let this be a warning to you, Einsworth, as well as the rest of you boys; buck with me and I will buck with you, and no, not that way. Only Halverson will be getting a piece of this.” She gestured to herself with a hoof. “Get dressed and meet me out back in five minutes, fillies.”

With that, Pizzelle made her way out the door. Luckette appeared to be holding back a laugh as she looked at all of us. No doubt we all looked a little dumbfounded by Pizzelle’s blunt statement.

Martin was the first to speak. “Huh. Okay, yeah, Darren, I have to admit, I’m more than a little jealous right now.”

“That was… oddly arousing,” murmured Gabe, who looked a little shamefaced at the moment.

I simply massaged my temples and fought down the blush rising to my own cheeks. While I was a little flattered that Pizzelle was only interested in me, whether it was because of her job or otherwise, I didn’t really need her to publicly remind everyone about that.

“Halverson, if that’s all the stamina you have, you might as well quit now! I would wreck you in the bedroom! Move it!”

I had learned one particular thing about Pizzelle in the last hour or so of physical training.

“Move your ass, Halverson, before I move it for you! That last lap took fifteen seconds longer than the previous one!”

She either expressed her interest in me through verbal brow-beatings, or she secretly harbored resentment towards me for being the Gentleman she was given responsibility in teaching.

“That’s better, Darren! You just lapped Lorentz. Keep at it and Ortiz will be eating your dust as well.”

Well, perhaps it was a bit of love and hate. She only called someone by their last name when she was tearing them a new one, or when she was lecturing them. First name indicated she was proud of you, as far as I could tell, at least.

I was a bit happy with the fact that only Arnold and I had been called by our first names since we started.

Speaking of Arnold, the man was a machine, especially for his age. He was by no means fast, but goddamn that man was keeping a steady pace. Pizzelle had initially complimented him on it… then proceeded to ream him out for not picking up the pace.

Gabe, on the other hand? He was by no means out of shape, but he was winded. He had taken plenty of drama and theater courses throughout the time I knew him, and he was actually fairly limber from what I’ve seen. But he wasn’t an athlete. He did a bit of jumping and pole vaulting back in his high school years, but he barely committed to it. He was more geared towards the leisurely sports of golfing and disc golf.

Alex was about the same as me when it came to this sort of stuff. He and I had played football back in high school, and he was a terrifying linebacker during those days. I can attest to this since I had been a lineman, so I was often in charge of blocking him whenever he blitzed. He was a surprisingly fast guy for his size, but he wasn’t much better than me for endurance.

I didn’t know much about Martin, but he apparently had done lots of track and field back when he was in college, namely the areas that focused on sprinting. He was ahead of all of us right now, but he was beginning to show fatigue as well.

Now, I’m not going to say it was Pizzelle’s words of encouragement that spurred me forward, but I liked the idea of staying on her good side. When she called out last lap for both Martin and I, that’s when I dug deep into what was left of my strength and began to pick up speed. My legs and lungs were burning with every step and breath I took.

Martin must have felt me breathing down his neck, because he did the same.

“That’s it Martin and Darren! Almost finished, come on! Come on! Give it all you got!”

I was now side by side with Martin. I decided to keep my eyes ahead and not focus on him. This was me I was concerned with… though if I managed to get ahead of him, I wouldn’t be against it. Much to my dismay, Martin still managed to pull ahead of me, but he was breathing out in gasps now.

We crossed the finish line, Martin a second ahead of me. We came to a steady stop, running onto the grass to make way for Alex and Gabe who made a final lap before coming to a stop after crossing the finish line, followed lastly by Arnold. I forced myself to remain standing, putting my hands over my head and taking slow, steady breaths.

“Alright, not bad, not bad!” Pizzelle said, trotting over to us. She paused and scribbled something down on her clipboard, holding it with a wing while using her mouth to hold the pencil. “Darren, Martin, that was a nice first time on the track here from you.” She gave the two of us a nod, then moved over to Alex. “Lorentz, I want to see you knock off a few seconds on your time halfway through next time. I know you’re a big guy, but you can do better.”

As she approached Gabe, she sighed. “Einsworth, I know you’re all about being goofy and having fun, but there’s more to this job than just being a smooth-talking charmer. You’re going to find yourself in a world of pain and weakness if you don’t improve that stamina of yours, especially with an earth pony client, or heaven forbid, a skipper.” She let a ghost of a smile spread across her lips. “I did notice you pick up the pace on your last lap, though. Decent effort.”

Gabe, who was currently trying not to dry heave, simply nodded.

Pizzelle finally walked up to Arnold, who was in a noticeably better state than Gabe. She smiled approvingly. “I take it you jog a lot?”

“It’s a nice thing to do when you’re retired and can’t shake the habit of waking up early every morning.”

She chuckled, “I guess so. Nicely done, Arnold.”

“Oh, come on, you throw us scraps but give Arnie nothing but praise?” Martin asked, though his tone was clearly not all that serious. His smile was a definite indicator that he was mostly just pulling their leg.

Pizzelle let out a snort and shook her head while laughing. “Arnold is almost twice your age, Martin. I’d expect him to be a little slower. He’s hardly winded though, unlike you boys.”

Ouch, my pride.

“Alright, cool down for a few minutes, drink some water and use the restroom if you have to, then come back out so we can finish up with some stretches.”

Five minutes later I had gone inside and took in a few mouthfuls of water before heading back out. I was treated to a pleasant sight of Pizzelle and one of Gabe’s instructors, Sugar Belle, stretching on the lawn.

“Unf, my cannons have been killing me,” Sugar Belle said offhandedly as she stretched out one of her back legs. “Thanks for letting me join you, Pizzy. I know how you told us girls that you want to have control over the boys' exercise routines for the next few weeks, but I just wanted to see how they are.”

Pizzelle was currently on all four hooves and stretching down and forward, leaving herself in a rather evocative pose. Her wings were fully stretched, and I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t sexy.

“No problem, Sugar Belle.” Pizzelle slowly got up and fluffed out her wings. “I told you to stop calling me that, too.”

Sugar Belle ran a hoof through her magenta mane. “Oh really? Sorry, musta slipped my mind, hehe.”

Pizzelle sighed and looked towards my direction. She straightened up a bit, and nodded. “Darren, go ahead and take a seat. Stretch out your calves a bit; I noticed you rubbing them after you had finished.”

Damn, she was good. I had to admit they did feel a little tight right now. I did as she asked, grunting as I began working out the tightened coils in my legs.

Sugar Belle watched me with a bit of fascination. “Soooo… you’re Pizzelle’s boy, huh? Darren, right?”

“Mmhm,” I gave the unicorn a nod. “Darren Halverson; I believe Gabe is being taught by you, right?”

“Yep, he’s a real cutie.” She bounced in place a bit, then said. “I hear he’s got a marefriend. Is that true?”

“Yes, Sugar Belle, I told you that when I was first introduced to you, remember?”

Sugar Belle blinked and looked over my shoulder. “Gabe!” She trotted over to him and gave him a friendly nuzzle as he plopped down on the grass. He returned the gesture with a light scratch on the back. “I forgot about that, sorry. Her name was… Amber, right?”

“Yep. And before you ask, yes, I’m sure she’d love to meet you someday.”

She giggled, “I’m pretty forgetful, huh?”

Gabe just smiled as he switched began to stretch. “Only about minor things. Don’t worry.”

“See? Isn’t he a sweetie?” Sugar Belle asked, looking to me.

I gave a snort at that. “No comment.”

“He’s just jealous,” Gabe replied when the unicorn looked to him with confusion.

Eventually, Arnold, Alex, and Martin joined us in the stretching. Pizzelle and Sugar Belle both lead us throughout, and we only had to stop a few times so we could get an explanation on a few of the stretches that were admittedly more geared towards equines and given a human-friendly equivalent to work with. We then finished with a few sets of crunches and pushups before Pizzelle dismissed us, explaining that our respective teachers were waiting for us in the front lobby.

“Darren, hold up for a minute,” Pizzelle called to me as I got up. She collected her clipboard and gave her wings a final stretch. “You’ll be with me, today. You can shower up and meet me back out here by the pool.”

I grinned. “What, are we going to do some laps in the pool?”

She smirked. “Only if you take too long to get back out here. Go on, I’ll be waiting.”

I showered up inside the building's public bathrooms and changed into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt I had brought then made my way back out to be greeted by the sight of Pizzelle lounging on one of the large, wooden chairs by the poolside. She had her wings stretched and looked to be preening them. When she saw me, she sat up and and gave me one of her rare, genuinely friendly smiles.

“Okay, Darren, normally Silky would rather have me cover this topic with you after about a week or two into your training, but I’d rather get it started now, seeing as you have a marefriend and know a thing or two about navigating around ponies’ body.” She tapped a hoof on an open space of the chair, and I sat. It was a little odd to see the mare who had been on my ass an hour ago and pushing me to run harder now acting so… quiet and calm.

“I guess I should ask you first; is your marefriend a pegasi?”

“No, she’s actually a unicorn.”

“Mm,” she nodded. “No worries.” She adjusted her sitting position so she was side by side with me, a wing draped over my lap. “Darren, what do you know about preening?”

I blinked in surprise. I had a feeling this was going to be a topic on something rather intimate, given the fact that she was putting her wings in a vulnerable position before me. Preening, though…

“I know a little about it, though I’m not sure if preening for griffins and pegasi in Equestria is the same as preening for birds.”

She gave me an approving nod. “They’re fairly similar.” She stretched out her wing a bit and her feathers spread for me to see clearly. “Pegasi have a gland beneath the base of either wing that secretes an oil used for preening. It doesn’t have a real strong smell or taste to it, but some ponies prefer using healthcare products as a substitute for the oil.”

“Really? Do they work any better?”

She gave me a shrug. “Personally, I’m not too crazy about them, but they’re okay, I guess. I figure my body’s got the stuff for me to work with, free of charge. Why waste it?” She gave a slight nod to her shoulder and continued. “If… if you want to see the gland, it’s just beneath my wing. Just be gentle.”

Clearly this was a rather sensitive area for her. That and I’m sure there was implications of it being a rather personal matter. Preening was a social activity for many birds in the wild and in captivity, but could the same be said for pegasi or griffins?

“It’s probably good of you to get acquainted with pegasi wings now instead of later, if you ask me. They’re pretty strong, but we pegasi need to take special care of our wings, otherwise it can lead to lots of problems later on for us.”

I gently placed a hand on her wing, taking special care not to move anything too quickly. She didn’t flinch or move that much, but she watched my hand intently as I slowly lifted her wing that was draped over my lap.

“I always thought it was kind of cool how the feathers and fur of pegasi can blend so well together,” I commented aloud as I looked over the base of her wing.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s just neat how there’s a sudden transition from fur to feathers. You don’t see anything quite like it on Earth. Feathers are found only on birds, and fur is nonexistent with avians. On the other hand, mammals have fur, but no feathers. The two features are sort of hard to have at the same time, given their structure and such. Yet, with you pegasi and griffins, the transition is flawless.”

It was true, too. I studied the feathers as they ran along her wings, noting idly that there was fur on the portion of her wing where the joints met with the shoulder. It was here where her feathers came to a stop and were replaced completely by pale, white fur. Honestly, if I weren’t studying her wings this closely, I probably wouldn’t be able to see where one ended and the other began.

“See them?” She asked me, referring no doubt to her preening gland.

I gently brushed away some fur and she let out a sudden gasp. I let go quickly and put my hands up. “Sorry!”

“No, no, it’s… it’s alright.” Pizzelle blushed a bit, but didn’t appear hurt. She chuckled a softly. “It’s just… I’m not used to having physical contact with someone there. I’ve been doing it myself for years.”

She gave me a nod, silently permitting me to resume. I lifted her wing once more, and after a moment, I spotted a small fleshy nub with a few feathers surrounding it. It actually was fairly similar to what an average gland on a bird would look like, except with the addition of fur.

“So, is preening a pretty solitary thing with pegasi?”

“Not necessarily. My mom and grandma would preen me all the time when I was a little filly, and I would sometimes help one of my pegasi fillyfriends in my school days with preening if they asked. It’s just a very personal activity.” I let the wing rest on my lap once more as she continued. “To be honest, I think it’s a fairly common way for a family to bond. Pegasi aren’t the only ones who can run lips over a wing to readjust a feather or break off the sheath of an encased feather.”

“Um…” I gave her a sheepish grin. “Are you asking me to run my lips over your wings, Pizzelle?”

She blinked, then gave me a smirk. “We’re not anywhere near ready for that kind of personal time, Darren. Nice try, though.” She straightened out her wing, and nodded to a saddle bag I hadn’t noticed until now. “Dig into the saddlebag and pull out the box of preening oil. You can’t miss it.”

I did as she asked, pulling out box that contained a decent-sized glass vial of Fair Weather Preening Oil. It was labeled ‘odorless’ and ‘tasteless’, for a ‘more natural experience’. I studied it a little longer, and noticed a few more descriptions. ‘Helps clean feathers and provides a cooling, relaxing sensation for your skin’. The box itself had a small folded paper in it with some advice on tips for massages, and ways to ‘spice up an evening’.

“It… it was the only one I could find at the convenience store,” Pizzelle explained after a drawn out moment of silence between the two of us.

I gave a nod, prying my eyes away from the paper just before the section labeled ‘Advice for Human Partners’. I figured she could help me with that instead. “So, what do you want me to do?”

“Are your hands clean?” She asked.

“Yep,” I replied, holding them up for her to study.

She gave them a cursory look and nodded. “Alright. The instructions say to just dab your fingers with the oil as needed. The stuff is slick enough that you won’t need too much to do this.”

“We’re going with the ‘artificial’ method, huh?” I asked with a grin.

“Hey,” she said, giving me a small smile. “Impress me enough next time we run P.T. drills and I’ll maybe let you go all-natural with me.” She brushed my nose with her wingtip and giggled when I fell back a little. “For now though, you’ll have to settle for manufactured oil.” She then added quietly. “It’ll still be nice for the two of us, though.”

I got to work without further prompting, holding up the vial of oil. I pulled off the cap and carefully dabbed the oil into the palm of my right hand. I then rubbed my fingers into my palm, and set down the vial.

“Okay…” Pizzelle flexed out her wing once more, and cleared her throat. “Just… run your fingers gently over my feathers. If you see any barbs that are separated on my feathers, just run a finger over them and they should lock together again. Try to adjust my feathers so they’re aligned the same way. Let me know if you have any questions about certain feathers if you're confused, okay?”

“Alright,” I replied, and slowly spread out the feathers at the tip of her wing. I gently ran my oiled fingers over the larger, primary feathers first. Sure enough, there was still a copious amount of oil left on my fingers after finishing up a portion of her wingtips. I continued downward, running barbs together and gently realigning any stray feathers. I quickly fell into a rhythm: dab, spread, adjust, spread, repeat.

“You’re pretty good at this,” Pizzelle said with a barely noticeable stutter. “Definitely better than what I had been expecting.”

I glanced up from my task and gave her a smile. While I was half-tempted to tease her, I decided not to push it. She still was my instructor and fitness trainer, and giving her a hard time for being a little flustered was hardly worth whatever she would mete out in return later. “Thanks. I noticed a few feather sheaths on your secondaries along the edge here… you want me to take care of those?”

“Yes, please,” she answered. “I’m surprised you noticed those so easily; I was about to say something about taking care of them.”

“My brother and I had a parrot growing up. He liked getting his feathers preened by my brother and I. You learn which feather sheaths are ready to be broken apart after several years of doing it.”

The feather sheaths that were ready to be broken off crumbled easily beneath my thumb and forefinger. The newly freed feathers were given similar treatment, my fingers gliding over the new barbs and weaving them together, though I made sure to be gentler with the newly grown feathers. The smaller, more numerous secondary feathers seemed to take to the oil a lot easier than her primaries did. When I asked about it, Pizzelle simply stated that feathers on pegasi are made to be resilient and moisture resistant, doubly so for primaries.

“Pegasi can move clouds and control the weather, after all. They need to be able to handle strong winds, heavy rain, and even blizzards.”

That made sense, I suppose.

By the time I had finished the wing and glanced up, the sun had moved to the middle of the sky. It probably had been over an hour since I had started, but I barely noticed.

“Ready for the other wing?” I asked her after returning my attention to her wings.

Pizzelle nodded, and adjusted herself so that her other wing was lying over my lap. I resumed my procedure, moving with a bit more ease than the previous wing.

“I’m no expert, Pizzelle, but your wings appear to be in great in shape.”

“Hey, they’re my livelihood outside of Gentlemen for Mares. I gotta keep them in good shape.”

“True, true.” I agreed. “So, you train new Wonderbolt cadets, right?”

She let out a hum. “It’s one of the things I do at the academy.”

“How is it?”

She was quiet for a moment. When I turned to look down at her, she was staring up at a stray cloud that was lazily gliding across the sky. “I enjoy it, really, I do. Sometimes, though, I wish I could do more of the touring and shows that Spitfire, Soarin’, Fleetfoot, and Rainbow Dash, and the others get to do.”

The hint of melancholy in her tone was hard to miss. “Yeah? I saw a show of theirs about six months ago when they were on tour. It was pretty cool. I don’t know most of their names, though.”

Pizzelle chuckled. “We’ll hammer those facts into your brain, don’t worry. Just remember that Spitfire is the captain, and Rainbow Dash is the poster filly for us right now.”

Okay, definitely a hint of bitterness in that last part. “Sounds like there’s some bad blood between you two.”

She looked to me, only to sigh and shake her head. “No, no… not really. I didn't mean to sound like that. I’d say it’s more like a bit of one-sided jealousy. Actually, I don’t think she even knows who I am, now that I think about it. Spitfire was in charge of her initial training, not me.”

“What’s there to be jealous of?”

“Rainbow Dash is the epitome of what a young Wonderbolt wants to be. She’s got a lot going for her: she’s fast enough to break the sound barrier, she’s confident, she’s athletic, and she’s a fast learner. She’s more than earned the spot she has among the Wonderbolts, and I am happy for her.”

“What, and you’re none of those things?” I asked with some disbelief. I hadn’t seen much of Pizzelle’s flying abilities, sure, but I found it hard to believe she was unfit to be a Wonderbolt.

“Not like her, no. I mean, I’m fit, I know my stunts and I know what I’m capable of… but it takes time for me to get speedier stunts down. I’m not the fastest flier, either. I’m more about endurance and grace. It’s something that the Wonderbolts have sort of put off to the side for the past decade. Their shows are mostly about speed and synchronized flight stunts. Crowds eat that stuff up, and it’s what most of the recruits joining the academy are concerned with. Few care about solo performances or skydancing.”

“Skydancing?” I repeated.

Pizzelle sighed, “Some call it that, at least I do. Skydancing is more focused on grace, finesse, balance, and the ability to fly without using as much speed.”

“Sounds like ballet, almost. It must take a lot of strength, huh?”

“It does,” Pizzelle answered. “Especially in duet performances. There are times when you need to keep both yourself and another pony floating with your wings alone, all while lifting them up above you with your forelegs. It can take months for a pair to get a performance down.”

And they do all this while in the air? Yeesh, that’s more than a little scary. “I can imagine accidents aren’t all that pleasant, huh?”

Pizzelle barked out a laugh. “No, no they aren’t. We try to keep a large cloud hanging below us to serve as a safety net during performances, but I’ve still gotten a sprain and fracture on occasion.”

“Nothing too serious, I hope.”

“Nah,” Pizzelle waved a hoof at that. “I’m pretty sturdy for a pegasus. My mother’s side of the family has a long line of earth pony heritage, from what I understand. Must run deeper in my blood than most pegasi. That and magic helps with recovery from injuries.”

“I can imagine,” I said with a smirk. “Sometimes I wish humans could use magic like you ponies.”

“You do have magic, though, don’t you?”

I arched an eyebrow at Pizzelle’s question. “Uh… this is the first I’m hearing about it if we do.”

Pizzelle frowned as she turned to face me fully. “Well, yeah, what about all your technology? I mean, you can grow crops how you want to without any earth ponies, you’ve had those machines go into space and send back pictures of different planets, you can communicate with each other instantly from distances that would take weeks to travel across by wing and hoof…”

“Well, that’s not magic. That’s just…” I waved a hand as I thought of how to best define it, coming up with only one word. “It’s just technology. Genetics to modify plants, using physics to launch a space probe and keep it running with solar power or what have you, and different wave frequencies and electronics to keep in touch…” I shrugged.

“Sounds like magic to me,” Pizzelle said as she glanced down at her feathers. “Speaking of magic, I’d say you did a nice job on my feathers.” She lifted her other wing and studied it with an appraising eye. “Almost too good…” She narrowed her eyes, then looked to me. “You sure your marefriend isn't actually a pegasus and you forgot to mention that when we first met?”

“Nope, it’s the truth. I just got lucky with this first preening session, I guess.” I cleared my throat. “It was… actually kind of nice. Really relaxing.”

“Mm.” She nodded as she got down from the chair and stretched slowly. She groaned and a few joints popped as she rolled her shoulders and hips. “Ugh, that’s better. Now then, how about we get some lunch? Silky wanted me to get you used to conversation and such while on a date. Lunch sounds like a good enough opportunity for a little practice.”

“Just as long as I’m not going to be forced to eat hay, I’m all for it.”

“You’ve been a part of the Wonderbolts for that long, huh? Wow, no small wonder you look so fit.”

Pizzelle and I had chosen to dine at a small eatery that overlooked the other side of the river. It was one of the growing number of establishments that had a menu—albeit, still vegetarian in selection—with dishes humans were more familiar with. I had settled for a pita pocket with chickpeas and mixed greens with a small dish of yogurt on the side while Pizzelle was going to town on a large salad bowl with a side of fruit.

She arched an eyebrow while dabbing her lips with a napkin.

“I… that was a compliment, I promise.”

She let her lips settle into an amused grin, and laughed quietly. “I know, Darren. It’s just… I wasn’t expecting a compliment on my figure.”

“Just saying what I see, that’s all.”

She let out a quiet snort of contentment and returned to her food.

“So, you got a few older brothers?” I asked.

“Just two, no younger siblings,” she answered after finishing another bite of her meal. “My younger-older brother works in Cloudsdale as a technician in the weather factory, and my oldest brother is a claims analyst for an insurance company based in Manehatten.”

“Yet the little sister is a member of an elite flying team,” I remarked with a grin.

“My dad was so giddy when he found out I was accepted into the Wonderbolts,” she said with a fond smile. “He held a party so big, you’d think I got my cutie mark all over again. My mom had to stop him from inviting the entire neighborhood when he started printing out invitations.”

“Manila told me your parents are in the Royal Guard and police force.”

“Well, my dad was close to retirement when I was born, but I remember seeing him in his full armor a few times when I was little. My oldest brother’s mom—she’s a member of the cooking staff at the castle—was actually the one who I spent most of my youth with.” Pizzelle’s smile faltered a bit. “It’s not like my own mother avoided me, but… she worked a third shift job as an officer, so I only really got to see her on her days off or whenever she got home early and I was getting up for school.”

I nodded in understanding. “My own father worked a lot when I was little, and was usually out of state. Until my older brother was able to look after me, we spent most of our time living with one of my uncles.”

“What about your mother?”

I pursed my lips. “Long story.”

She nodded and didn’t press further. “Anyway, my mom... I mean, my brother’s mom, she would sometimes take me to the castle when my dad and brothers weren’t able to look after me. She let me cook and bake things whenever the kitchen wasn’t busy. I actually got my cutie mark while she was teaching me how to make cookies for Princess Celestia's midday tea.”

“That explains your pretty unique name, heh,” I said with a grin.

“Yeah, my mom was so happy when she got home from work, she asked for the next two days off and threw a huge party for me.” Her expression became somewhat wistful. “I kind of miss being a filly sometimes, you know?”

“I only wish I could be younger sometimes. Less headaches and bills.” I took a sip of my iced tea, then added, “Though, if that were the case, we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now, and I’d rather be spending time with you then doing algebra homework or practicing football after school right now.”

“Mm, same here. You’re alright, Darren. I mean, you’ve got a ways to go before I’d consider you a strong candidate for being a full-fledged Gentleman, but that will come with time.” She fluttered her wings a little, and added. “You’ve shown me you’ve got an interest, so I’m invested now.”

I stared at her wings for a moment, admiring how the early afternoon sun gave them a brilliant sheen. I noticed more than a few mares and stallions passing by give her wings a moment’s glance before continuing on with whatever they were doing.

Say what you will, but I was more than a little proud of my handiwork. Those wings looked pristine.

I smirked, and decided to have a little fun with her. “Hmmm, what exactly am I interested in, though?”

Pizzelle’s own smile was priceless as she folded her wings back and adjusted a few stray locks of hair covering her face. “I have a few ideas.” She stretched her neck out a little as she took a bite of her salad and chewed with purposeful delicateness. She swallowed and dabbed her napkin over her lips again, then added in a smoky voice. “For example, I know you have an interest in me. You hide it well, but I could see it, even yesterday.” She leaned forward and deliberately wrapped her tongue around the straw in her glass of tea before slowly sucking on it, maintaining eye contact the whole while.

Damn, she’s good.

I laughed as she gave me a wink. “Okay, you win, you win.”

She pulled away from her drink, flashing me a smug look. “You think that’s good, you should see Ribbon when she’s at her worst. Give her a half hour and she could probably convince most strangers she sees on the streets to hop into bed with her.”

“A good speaker makes for a good politician. No surprise there's so many stories about scandalous affairs with politicians all the time.” I said in agreement. “Should I be worried?”

Pizzelle just chuckled.

“Is that a yes? No?”

“Let’s go with a maybe. If you must know, Ambrosia will likely be the mare to break you in. It’s too bad you’ve already been with a mare, though; she was hoping to be our Gentleman’s first-time experience with a mare,” She added after a moment of thought. “Not that you have anything to apologize for; it’s nice that you have a marefriend.”

“I’m surprised you haven’t found anyone yourself.”

Her cheeks turned a slight shade of pink as she sighed. “Y-yeah… I… can be a bit intimidating.”

“You’ve warmed up to me pretty quick, I think,” I noted with a smile.

“Yes, but I think that’s in part due to you and I being partners here. I trust Silky’s judgment, and she has an eye for picking good males out of the crowd. So, I suppose I’ve been a little more lenient with you just out of principle.”

That explains why she hasn’t been so gruff with me, I guess. “Well, thanks, then. I’ll do what I can to not destroy your expectations in me and your faith in Silky’s judgment.”

“Oh, make no mistake, Darren, I’m still going to break you apart and mold you into something even better. I just think there’s a lot of you that’s worth keeping whole, too.” She licked her lips at that last part.

“Hm.” I took another drink of my tea and gave her a challenging grin. “You sure I’ll be the one that breaks? I like to think my marefriend would attest to me having some skill already.”

Pizzelle’s laugh was loud and full of amusement. After a minute, she settled down and shook her head. “Silky was right. Taking this job was definitely a good choice.” She sighed, “I’m going to have fun with you, Darren. It’s going to be tough for you, but I promise you’re going to love it as well.”

After we finished our meals, I pulled out my wallet, only to have her raise a hoof and shake her head. “I can pay for this.”

I frowned, and paused for a moment. This could be a test…

“Nah, I got this.”

She let out a hum. “You know, in Equestrian society, it’s usually proper for the mare to offer to pay first. Paying together is a pretty common thing nowadays, though, too.”

“Pizzelle…I don’t mind.”

Her ears flopped a bit as she studied me, then gave me an approving nod. “Alright, but only because this isn’t an official ‘training’ date for you. Most of those will probably be covered by the company itself, since we’re ‘on the clock’ while dating.”

“Well, when I start actual work, doesn’t that mean I, in a sense, will be paying anyway?”

“Yes, but the mare pays for the meal on a first date most of the time. This wasn’t really any official lesson for you; just a chance to break the ice between just the two of us.”

“Good thing I’m not a stallion then, huh?”

Pizzelle shrugged, but that challenging glint in her eyes was still present. “We’ll see.”

As we made our way down the road back to the headquarters building, she asked me. “So… your marefriend doesn’t have any problems with you working here, huh?”

“Yep. She’s actually been giving me a few tips, but her experience in actually teaching this stuff is not as extensive as yours, I guess. She still thinks what I’m doing is nice, though. You know, helping give company to mares and that kind of stuff.”

“It’s nice that she supports you. We’ve… had Gentlemen in the past who’ve been in relationships that ended because of work. Although, in most cases the relationship wasn’t that great to begin with. Usually just lots of sex and not much else.” She gave me a smile. “I’m happy to hear she’s at least finding ways to be involved in teaching you.”

“Yeah, she’s pretty awesome…” I paused for a moment, then added. “She’s not you, though.”

“Hm? What was that?” Pizzelle asked, her ears perking up.

“She’s not you. I really am glad I have you as an instructor, Pizzelle. You’re pretty laid back when you’re not running me through the gauntlet in physical training. I… it’s nice. I can tell you’re going to put me through hell before we’re done, but in a weird way, I’m looking forward to it, just because you’ll be the one training me.”

Pizzelle’s eyes widened a fraction, and she quickly looked to the ground. Her cheeks became flush with pink, and I couldn’t help myself. I kneeled down and gently took her hoof in a hand. Her gaze locked onto my hand, and she began. “W-what…?”

“Luckette mentioned this briefly today when Arnold walked in. He actually did this in the classroom, but it was only me and Alex in there besides them, so there wasn’t much of a crowd.” I slowly pressed my lips to her hoof. “Sorry I forgot to do this earlier. It… just came back to me…”

Pizzelle remained speechless as I slowly pulled my lips away from her hoof. When the silence continued to drag on, I let out a forced laugh. “I wasn’t supposed to do that, was I?”

“H-huh? Oh!” She shook her head and smiled. “No, no, it’s fine, really, it’s just…” She gently took her hoof back and cleared her throat. “Wow. You’re… you’re catching on a lot quicker than I thought to the little things.”

I waggled my eyebrows a bit.

She surprised me in turn by leaning forward and planting a chaste kiss on my cheek. “Keep it up and Ambrosia might find someone jockeying for her spot as first one to test you out when that time comes.”

Later that night, Full Bloom had stopped by and said Mel had invited us to join her for a get together at Flanky’s. Apparently, now that Alex was dating Sugar Sweet, the place was to be made into a hangout of ours.

Not the worst choice of places to meet everyone, I suppose.

“So, have you told any of the boys about us being together?” Full Bloom asked as we made our way down the darkening streets of Hoofington. The street lamps were starting to come on and shops were closing their doors for the evening while other establishments began to open theirs.

“Nope, I was going to tell them tonight, actually.” I gave her a sideways glance. “If you don’t mind, that is.”

“Oh, I want to let them know, too. I was just thinking we could shock them a bit. I asked Mel to keep it a secret. I still owe Gabe for tricking me into thinking that horse milk was a common staple for his culture for two weeks…” Her expression grew devious as she continued. “Feel like helping me get revenge?”

“So as long as it doesn’t end with us having a body to hide or ill-gotten funds, sure,” I said with a grin.

“Good,” she looked ahead, and there was our destination. “Just act natural, and don’t do anything to indicate we’re seeing each other until I say so. I’ll give you a nudge or wink… or something.”

Full Bloom’s playful side continued to surprise me, but I welcomed it. “As you wish, milady.”

We walked into the bar after a quick show of our IDs, and made our way to a corner where our group of friends were waiting. A smoky beat filled the air as a pegasus mare danced around a pole, shaking her hips while the waiting staff flirted with patrons as they took drink orders.

“And there’s the last of our intrepid party!” shouted Gabe as he raised a glass in our direction. Sitting beside him were Amber, Mel, Alex, and Sugar Sweet, the last of the group wearing a cute short skirt and form-fitting shirt that looked similar to the ones worn by the waiting staff.

“Evening, Gabe, I hope you’re not too deep in your cup already,” I greeted, taking a seat at the round table across from him. Full Bloom sidled up into the chair next to me. “Okay, Amber, Sugar Sweet, this is Full Bloom. Mel or Alex hopefully told you a little about her.”

Sugar Sweet gave Full Bloom a friendly wave. “Nice to meet you, Full Bloom! Alex has told me about you before.”

“Same here. I’m glad Alex finally found a nice girl to look after him.” Full Bloom cast a look Alex’s way. “Does this mean you’re finally going to shave the goatee?”

The unamused expression Alex shot at her forced me to choke down a laugh. “What.”

Sugar Sweet just rolled her eyes and gave Alex a playful nudge. “I like it, Alex. It makes you look even more like the big ol’ teddy bear that you are.”

Full Bloom snickered, but said nothing further. Looks like she was going to spare Alex any further torment, at least for now.

Amber raised an eyebrow. “Full Bloom…” She turned to Gabe, narrowing her eyes a little. “Is she the poor mare you’ve told me about before?”

Gabe paused for a moment. A smile slowly formed on his face. “Heh, yeah.”

Amber sighed, though she was clearly fighting down a grin. “I’m sorry for any wrongdoings done to you by this goofball. Please forgive him; he knows not what he does.”

Full Bloom’s giggled. “It’s alright, I’ve come to that conclusion after they started working with me.” She waved a hoof dismissively. “Anyway, it’s nice to meet you girls.”

“Hm,” Gabe began, looking between Mel, Full Bloom, and I. “You know, Darren, I think one of the mares working at the bar was asking if I had a single friend that I could introduce her to. If you’re at all interested, I could hook you up with her later tonight.”

I shook my head. “Thanks, but no thanks, Gabe.” I felt Full Bloom’s leg slowly rub against mine. When I looked to her, she just gave me a small, knowing smile.

Gabe shrugged, “Suit yourself, though you have nothing to lose, really.”

“So, Riley’s going to be coming to town sometime later this week.”

Alex, Gabe, and Mel all smiled upon hearing this.

“Really?” Mel replied. “That’s great! How’s he doing?”

“From what I can tell, he seems to be doing okay. He’s going to crash at my place for the time being with a griffin he served with during the war. She’s a mage, I guess.”

“A Magus Knight? Wow… you know, I hear they use staves to channel their magic. Kind of like… that Gandalf person that was in that story that one showmare talked about… The Hobbit, right?” Full Bloom asked, having tuned into the conversation.

I chuckled. “Yes, and I guess she wants to see the movies that are based off of that book series.”

“They’ve made movies about The Hobbit?” Full Bloom’s eyes widened. “Seriously?”

“Yep, as well as movies for the stories that took place after it.”

Amber frowned. “Are you guys talking about those human movies that everyone’s going crazy over in the big theaters across the country right now? The one with that wizard and that evil necklace or whatever?”

“It’s a ring, Amber,” Gabe corrected. “It’s called Lord of the Rings for a reason.”

She rolled her eyes while smiling. “Forgive me for not being up to date on human pop culture. I’ve spent too many years as a pony, I guess.”

“We’ll correct that in time. Darren here happens to be a huge nerd, and has all the movies.”

“So does Alex, and Riley has his collection back on Earth with our Uncle Lenny,” I replied. “Besides, I’m not the one that has a statue of Alduin that he just had to bring with him through the portal sitting on his nightstand by his bed.”

“Is that what you call that dragon?” Amber piped in again, looking at Gabe with an amused grin on her face.

Gabe just chuckled. “Hey, that thing is a wonderful conversation starter, Amber.”

“That’s because it creeped me out,” Amber retorted. “I’m sure Darren here doesn’t have any scary looking dragons sitting next to his bed while he sleeps at night.”

“No, he has something a little nicer than a statue to keep him company at night,” replied Full Bloom.

Next thing I knew, I felt a tug on my collar as Full Bloom pulled me in with her magic and locked lips with me.

Okay, this is one way to deliver the message.

When we pulled away, Full Bloom was giving Gabe a self-satisfied grin that could put even the most smug expression of his to shame.

“Huh,” Alex remarked after a moment silence. “You know, I’m not even that surprised. Way to go, Darren.”

Gabe continued to blink slowly, looking between Full Bloom and I. “So… wait…you two…?”

“Yep,” I replied.

“For how long…?”

“About a week,” Full Bloom answered.

“Oh, well—wait, a week?” Gabe frowned. “You never told me this!”

“Darren and Full Bloom are grown-ups, Gabe. They can make their own decisions,” Amber said, patting Gabe on the hand gently.

“So, does that give me bragging rights for knowing before you two?” Mel piped in, turning to Alex and Gabe.

“You told Mel before you told me?” Gabe asked, clearly laying on the theatrics now. “I am hurt, Darren. Devastated, even!”

“For what it’s worth, I was going to tell you tonight,” I defended.

Gabe gave a grunt of understanding, and raised a glass. “Cheers to you, bud.” He nodded, then took a pull from his glass. “Full Bloom, don’t play too rough with our Darren. He’s a real delicate flower that needs to be nurtured and loved before you get to the fun stuff with—”

“No need to worry, Gabe. Darren and I have already gotten past that point.”

Gabe blinked dubiously, then shook his head and shot me a pointed look. While pointing an accusing finger and shaking it, he said, “She’s bewitched you, Darren.”

“Eh, I like to think it was her natural charm that caught my attention,” I countered. “She is a unicorn, though, so she might have used a spell on me—”

Full Bloom cut me off with a light jab to the side, earning a laugh from me and the rest of the group.

“So, Full Bloom, you want to go with the girls and I and get some drinks over at the bar? I can tell you about the specials if you want. They have a strawberry daiquiri that’s to die for!” Sugar Sweet suggested.

Full Bloom looked at me. “Want anything while I’m up there?”

“Just a whiskey and cola if they have it. Otherwise, a cider will be fine.”

With that, the four girls headed to bar, leaving the three of us to ourselves.

“So, Full Bloom, huh?” Gabe asked, his playful grin replaced with a genuine one. “You know how to pick them, Darren.”

“To be honest, she asked me out first.”

“You know, Sugar actually did the same with me, now that I think about it,” Alex commented. “What about you, Gabe?”

“Hm? Yeah, heh, Amber used to see me all the time at that one café I always stopped at during lunch when you guys were out in the field for work. One day she just asked if there was anyone I was seeing, and then she invited me to join her for dinner that weekend.” He swirled the drink in his glass a bit before taking another sip. “I never thought I’d go as far as meeting her parents. I thought she was just looking for some human to try out for kicks.”

“Oh yeah, how was meeting her folks?” I asked. “You never told us about that.”

“Surprisingly nice, actually. She has two… hm, would you call them herd-mothers? Well, either way, she comes from a herd of four, one stallion and two mares, and her mother. She’s got a younger brother and sister.” He laughed. “Her mom and dad didn’t take in any other herd mates until Sugar was about ten years old, so there’s a bit of an age gap between her and her siblings. I think her brother is only eight right now, and her sister is five.”

“Did they get to meet you, too?”

Gabe chuckled. “Her sister’s a unicorn. She kept asking me if I knew any magic spells and where my cutie mark was. Her brother wanted to show me his buckball card collection the whole time.”

“Is he a Cloudsdale fan?” Alex asked.

“Sorry, Alex. Starbolt is a Comets fan.”

“Of course he is. Everyone is a fan of the Baltimare Comets. They win three championships in a row and everypony says they’re a dynasty. You know, if I ever figure out which human introduced the term ‘dynasty’ to Equestrian sports, I’m going to find them and coldcock them right in the back of the head…”

“You’re still upset over the Comets beating the Twisters in the championships last year, aren’t you?” I asked.

Alex frowned. “Cloudsdale was ahead by forty-two points, then all of the sudden the referees start making some crappy calls and the Comets won in the last period. You know that game was rigged.”

“The only reason you’re a Cloudsdale fan is because their team captain has a nice ass,” Gabe said between sips.

“It’s a good enough reason as any, but that’s not entirely why I like them. Aura Chaser is one of the best captains in the Equestrian league.” Alex pointed at Gabe and waved his finger a few times. “She’s due for a trophy, damn it.”

“I don’t know, Brigidette Ivoryclaw is still in the top five for best captains of the year, and she’s been playing longer than Aura…”

Alex gave me a deadpan look. “Darren, the Manehatten Archers haven’t won a championship in over twenty years.”

I shrugged. “Yeah, but I give them credit for being one of the first teams to have griffin players. Brigidette’s a damn good athlete, too. Give them another season or two and they’re going to have a real strong team. They’ve been making it to the final four brackets for the past fifteen years, but they always lose to Baltimare or Fillydelphia.”

“Oh no,” interrupted the voice of Mel, “Who started talking about buckball?”

“Mel,” Gabe began, whirling around on his stool to face her. “Tell me, are the Manehatten Archers likely to win a championship in the next season or two like Darren claims?”

“You’re asking me?” Mel chuckled. “Hell if I know.”

“Bah, you’re no fun.” Gabe waved a hand at her. “Anyway, what was I saying? Oh, yeah, her siblings are all sorts of adorable. It did get a bit awkward when they asked Amber if she was going to start a herd, though.”

“Oh man,” I said, cringing a bit. “Did her parents’ hear that?”

“Yes, and they were really cool about the whole thing. They told little Merry Bell, that’s Amber’s sister, not to worry about that sort of stuff…” Gabe went quiet, his smile softening. “It was nice, actually. I didn’t feel any huge pressure to act like someone else around them. They liked me just the way I was, or at least pretended to.”

“Gabe,” called the voice of Amber, who made her way to the table. “Sugar and Full Bloom won’t believe me when I told them you slapped a minotaur once when we were in Fillydelphia.”

I looked from Gabe, to Amber, and then to Full Bloom and Sugar Sweet, who were arriving back to our table with drinks in their magic. Full Bloom simply shrugged while Amber gave me an embarrassed smile. I leaned closer to Gabe and asked just loud enough for him to hear. “So… how did Amber fall for you, again?”

He just smirked and gave me a friendly pat on the back. “I make her laugh, Darren. That and she’s told me time and time before that I’m skilled when it comes to the art of rutting.”

I snorted in laughter. I should have expected such an answer. “Right, of course.”

“Oh, don’t listen to him, Darren. He’s just a real sweetie once you get past those layers of snark and sauntering.”

Gabe shot Amber a look of mock pain. “Amber, c’mon, you’re supposed to make me look good!”

“I’d say the fact you’ve managed not to drive away a young mare like Amber here is an accomplishment in of itself,” Full Bloom commented with a smirk. She turned towards Amber and said. “Seriously, you must have the patience of a princess to have stuck with him for this long.”

Amber just smiled happily. “You get used to him… oh, Gabe, don’t start pouting, sweetie. You know I only tease because I care.”

Sure enough, Gabe was staring into his drink, though knowing him, he was likely just yearning for Amber’s attention.

“What about you, Full Bloom?” Alex asked, thumbing towards me. “How’d you end up with this guy? I never took you as one to go for the nerdy types.”

Full Bloom giggled. “Darren’s got a charm to him that I don’t think either you or Gabe could ever have. No offense…”

“Eh,” Alex waved her off. “None taken. I’m just surprised, I guess. I didn’t take you for a mare with an eye for humans.”

By now Full Bloom had taken her seat beside me, scooting a little closer to rest a hoof on my leg while leaning on me a bit, allowing me to wrap an arm around her side. “Love is rarely that simple to figure out, Alex. I never pegged you as someone who’d get together with a mare as peppy and cheerful as Sugar Sweet, yet here you are, surprising me.”

Alex arched an eyebrow ever so slightly, only to nod in approval and smile. “Touché, Full Bloom.”

Full Bloom slid a drink in front of me that I hadn’t noticed before. She gave me a soft smile as she lifted a bottle of cider to her lips with her own magic. “You’ll be happy to know that the human bartender working tonight made sure to keep plenty of whiskey and cola available for human patrons like yourself.”

I gave Full Bloom’s foreleg that rested on my leg a gentle squeeze. “Thanks.” I held the glass before her and smiled. “Want to try a bit?”

She studied the fizzy mixed drink, her ears twitching a bit as she took a tentative sniff. “Is it any good?”

“I like it, but that’s just me.” I took a sip, and nodded in approval before setting the glass in front of her. “Try a little bit. Maybe you’ll like it, too.”

She gave me a wary look before taking the thin straw floating in the drink between her lips. She took a sip, only for her eyes to scrunch up and her lips to pucker. “Bwah!” She let her tongue hang out of her mouth for several seconds before taking a sip of her cider. “Blech, I’m still not a fan of whiskey. Ugh, and the cider’s only making the taste worse!” She shook her head a bit and smacked her lips. “You have a weird taste in drinks.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Says the mare who’s dating me.”

“I said you’ve got weird tastes; I never said that’s a bad thing,” she replied with a wink. “You’d be boring if you liked everything I did without complaint.”

“You think that’s bad, you should see Mel when she’s given a bottle of peppermint schnapps. She can put that stuff away like water and feel fine,” I remarked, giving Mel a playful grin as she arched an eyebrow at me.

“You really want to go there, Brandy Boy?” Mel asked with a laugh.

Gabe began coughing as he choked out a laugh. “Oh god. Brandy Boy…” He looked at Mel as he caught his breath. “You think they ever figured out who left that note on Rachel’s front porch?”

I sighed, placing my face in my hands.

Full Bloom looked between the three of us, then asked, “Okay, what’s the story behind this?”

“It was Darren’s twenty-first birthday, and he overestimated his tolerance and drank a sizeable portion of a bottle of brandy we bought him,” Alex answered. “At some point he was running through the neighborhood near our campus, and eventually passed out on the front porch of the house one of our college friends was living in at the time. We found him there the next morning, sick as a dog.”

“I emptied out my stomach on the porch the night before, and must have written a note on some scrap paper I found in Rachel’s recycling bin.” I waved a hand. “I could barely read what I wrote, but I think it said, ‘Sorry, I was drunk’.”

Full Bloom snickered a bit. “I can’t say I ever got to that point.”

Sugar Sweet laughed as she stirred her own drink, which had pieces of fruit floating in it. “Same here. You humans have some strong alcoholic drinks, though.”

“Fifteen bits says Princess Celestia has an expensive bottle of whiskey in a drawer that she keeps for when she’s had a rough day in court.”

Amber gasped and gave Gabe a light slap on the arm as she began to giggle. “Gabe, don’t talk about Princess Celestia like that.” She continued to laugh, despite trying to reprimand him.

“What? Celestia seems like a classy gal. I bet she enjoys a good, aged whiskey now and then,” Gabe continued. “I can’t see her drinking wine, though. That seems more like Princess Luna’s thing from what little I’ve seen of her in the news and such. She’s got that wine connoisseur air about her.”

The time passed in the comfortable company of our friends. A few drinks had been consumed between the lot of us by the time we noticed it was going onto nine in the evening.

“So, Darren, Alex,” Amber said, stirring her drink with a straw as she leaned against Gabe a little. “Any fun stories to tell about work yet?”

Alex, who was now a little flushed in the cheeks, let out a grunt as he nodded. “One of my instructors wants to take me to Cloudsdale this next weekend so I can see what it’s like to walk on clouds and see the sights. Cultural education, she calls it.”

“Wait, seriously?” I asked.

“Yep.”

I shuddered. “Have fun with that.”

“What?” Full Bloom asked, noticing my discomfort.

“I don’t know, I just don’t like the idea of having a layer of condensed water vapor being the only thing holding me several thousand feet in the air. Even if there are potions to allow ponies and humans to walk on clouds… it’d still bother me.”

“You get used to it,” Sugar commented with a wave of her hoof. “I have an aunt who lives in Cloudsdale. I visit her at least twice a year. The first few times I stepped onto the clouds was weird, but after a while you just get used to the feeling. It’s like walking on a mattress pad, but… wetter.”

“You know, I’ve always wondered," Gabe began, "how does Cloudsdale deal with its sewage with it being so high up in—”

“Alex?”

Our conversation was cut off as a mare’s voice called out Alex’s name. Everyone looked up to see a unicorn approaching us.

“Spanner?”

Sure enough, as she stepped into the light near our table, my eyes recognized the mare to be none other than Alex’s unicorn instructor, Silver Spanner.

Alex stood up and walked towards the mare. “Spanner, what’s up?”

Spanner looked awful, to say the least. Her mane was in a disheveled state, and she looked like she had been crying, judging from the streaks of tears staining her fur as well as the puffiness of her eyes.

She hiccuped a bit before speaking. “C-can I… c-can I talk to you for a moment?” She looked at Sugar Sweet, who had approached the two. “Um… if that’s not a problem? P-please?”

“Uh, yeah,” Alex looked to Sugar Sweet, who simply nodded in understanding. “Is everything okay?”

Silver shook her head. “No… well… I guess, but… not really, no, things could be better.”

Alex frowned, worry creeping into his expression. “Let’s go sit down over there, you can tell me what the problem is. Sugar, you don’t…?”

Sugar just patted him with a hoof. “It’s fine. I’ll be over here if you need me.”

As Alex and Spanner sat down at a nearby table that a little ways from us, Sugar frowned. “She smells like a hospital.”

That caused the lot of us to perk up. “A hospital?” I repeated. That could mean a variety of things, and my mind was already drawing up possible conclusions. Did a loved one of hers pass away? Some kind of illness? “What, like disinfectants and such?”

Sugar simply nodded.

“Who’s that mare?” Mel asked us.

“Silver Spanner,” I replied. “I met her briefly at orientation for our job. She’s Alex’s unicorn instructor. She seemed pretty nice when I first saw her.”

At that point, the faint sound of crying was heard from Alex’s table. Spanner was being held by Alex, who was gently rubbing her back as she sobbed into his shirt. A few minutes of awkward silence passed over our table before Alex returned with Spanner at his side. She was still sniffling, but looked like she had at least calmed down a bit.

“Silver, you don’t have to do this if you’re uncomfortable…” Alex said quietly to the mare.

“No, no… I don’t think I want to be left alone tonight.” Spanner sighed deeply.

“That’s fine,” Alex said with a gentle sigh. “Um, everyone, this is Silver Spanner. She’s my unicorn teacher and also a supervisor at Perfect Precision Hardware.”

The mare gave us an unsteady smile. “Um, h-hi, everyone. Sorry, I just… I came back from a physical with my doctor a few hours ago; it’s a mandatory part of my job.” She chuckled a little at that, then slumped a bit. “Sorry for bothering all of you…”

At this point, Alex leaned down and whispered something to Sugar Sweet. Her own eyes widened, a myriad of emotions crossing her features before she settled into a look of sympathy. She walked up to Spanner and pulled the mare into a hug.

Spanner let out a few choked sobs as Sugar gently hushed her while continuing to hold her. “It’s okay… oh, sweetie, you have no reason to apologize.” Sugar looked around at Mel, Amber, and Full Bloom. A silent conversation passed over the four girls before they got up as one and headed to the bathroom.

“We’ll be back, Alex. Thanks for telling me,” Sugar said before continuing onward with Spanner.

As Alex sat down, Gabe and I watched him, expectant looks on our faces.

“Well…?” I eventually asked.

Alex shook his head. “I… I’m not sure it’s my place to tell you guys.”

“Well, clearly she didn’t have a problem with the girls knowing,” Gabe said. His expression grew worried. “Is… it’s not cancer or something, is it?”

“No, no, nothing that bad, thankfully…” Alex waved a hand at the suggestion. After another moment passed, he sighed. “What I’m about to tell you doesn’t leave our group of friends, got it?” We nodded. “Good. Okay, so… Spanner just found out at her physical that she’s going through the pony equivalent of menopause, and she’s still pretty young.”

A moment passed between the three of us.

“So… she’ll never be able to have foals of her own, in other words?”

“That’s… more or less what she told me,” Alex replied with a shrug. He took a long, hard swig of his drink, emptying it. “She was… in a relationship with a mare and stallion, I guess. Sounds like they were planning to start a herd together in the future after they had a few things squared away. They were open to her working at Gentlemen for Mares, but when she told them about the news… I guess they sort of took it badly.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“They said in a roundabout way that perhaps they should ‘see other ponies’.”

Gabe frowned. “What, just because she’s unable to have foals they decided to end things with her?”

Alex nodded. “Yep, sounds that way.”

Gabe snorted in disgust. “This country is so hypocritical sometimes. Peace, love, and harmony, my ass.”

“Easy, Gabe.” I said, though I couldn’t really fault him for being upset.

We had all seen Spanner a few times in passing over the few days since we had started working as Gentlemen. She always had a smile to offer and upbeat attitude, and from what Alex had shared with us, she had a love for raunchy humor and action movies. The idea of someone wanting to break off a relationship with a pony like her, based solely on her inability to become pregnant was…outrageous. At least to me it seemed that way.

Then again, Equestria isn’t the United States, let alone the planet Earth. Even if Equestrians were taking well to us humans, such beliefs don’t just fade away overnight. If I were to be honest with myself, I couldn’t say that humanity as a whole didn’t have similar problems as well, both in its past and even today. Heck, any number of stories in the past about human royalty and the need for bringing proper heirs into the world could be seen in a similar light to this.

“Is she going to be okay?” I asked. “I mean… bad news and the crap she’s dealing withstanding.”

“Yeah. I guess she wanted to find some place to drink herself into oblivion. Apparently, Flankey’s stood out to her…” Alex ran a hand through his hair. “Good thing she saw me. I…” He rubbed his eyes with a finger and thumb. “Things may have gotten a lot worse for her if she didn’t have someone to talk to, I think.”

He didn’t need to elaborate on what ‘worse’ meant.

“Does she have a place to stay?” Gabe asked, picking out an ice cube from his glass and crunching it with his teeth.

“Mmhm. I offered up my place, but I think it’d be better if she was with Sugar Sweet for the night. She… she needs someone that can relate to her problem, at least a little bit.” He shook his head helplessly. “I mean, I’ll be there for her, but… I’m a guy. There’s only so many ways I can relate to this while having no clue what it’s really like.”

The jovial mood had long since gone sour for us, but none of us seemed to be angry about it. We sat there, none of us feeling up to talking at the moment. When the girls eventually came back to our table, Silver Spanner seemed to be at least a little less upset. Her mane had been brushed, and her face appeared damp with moisture, probably from a quick wash.

“Alex, Silver’s going to stay with me tonight, okay?” Sugar said with a soft smile as she gave Silver a gentle smile.

Silver, for her part, looked rather shamefaced by the whole ordeal. “Really, you don’t need to do this for me… there’s always a spare room at my work that I could—”

Sugar wasn’t going to have any of that, and held up a hoof, gently quiet Spanner. “Nuh uh. I know you said you feel a little better, but I’d rather that you be in a place where you have somepony to talk to and keep you company, at least for tonight.”

“Okay…” Silver gave a slow nod and sighed, relenting herself to Sugar’s reasoning. She mumbled a bit, just loud enough for me to catch the words, “... appreciate it…”

In reply, Sugar gave her a gentle nuzzle and then turned to Alex. “I think we’ll be heading out early, okay?”

“Want me to walk you two home?” He asked.

Sugar gave Alex a small smile and walked forward to plant a chaste kiss on his cheek. “No, you just enjoy the rest of the night, okay? We’ll be fine.” She leaned forward and whispered something to him, and Alex simply nodded. “Okay?”

“Alright, will do,” Alex said in reply to whatever she had told him.

Sugar shared a quick hug with Amber, Full Bloom, and Mel, then looked at Gabe and I, and grinned. “It was nice seeing you boys. Don’t get in any trouble, okay?”

“No promises,” Gabe answered while leaning back in his chair and folding his arms behind his head, earning playful giggle from Sugar.

Much to our relief, even Silver seemed to cheer up a little at Gabe’s antics. She shot Gabe and I a small smile and nodded, then approached Alex once more and nuzzled him.

“Thanks, Alex… I… I’m glad I found you all here.”

“No need to thank me. Just promise you’ll get some rest, okay? See you tomorrow?”

“Y-yeah,” Silver Spanner replied. “Um… I’ll probably have to find a new place to live soon, now. I… don’t think I can live with Gear Grinder and Drizzle Drops anymore after… well, you know.”

“You’re welcome to stay with me as long as you need,” Sugar said with a gentle nudge. “I love having company, anyway. It gives me an excuse to make lots of sweets.”

Silver smiled. “Better keep me away from the oven, then. I’m horrible at baking.”

“Aw, it just takes practice.”

“Unless you’re me,” Gabe said with a shrug. “The only thing I can bake is a frozen pizza.”

Sugar Sweet chuckled, “Looks like you’ll have someone to learn with, Silver.” She gave us a final wave before gently nudging Silver Spanner towards the entrance. “Later, everypony!”

As soon as the two left, Mel flopped down into her seat while Amber and Full Bloom took their seats next to Gabe and I respectively.

“Is… does stuff like that happen a lot?” Mel asked Amber and Full Bloom, her tone laden with exhaustion.

Amber shook her head and shrugged while Full Bloom just frowned and gave her a look of uncertainty. The orange coated mare sipped at her drink that she had been tending to earlier and rubbed a temple with a hoof. “Seriously, that poor girl. Sugar handled it all pretty well, though.”

“Something tells me Sugar’s dealt with stuff like this before.” Full Bloom waved a hoof at our surroundings. “Not everyone goes to a bar to have a good time, even bars like this one.” She leaned against me as she continued. “Some pretty filly’s flank dancing in front of a client while they down a few glasses of booze in hopes of forgetting something isn’t too hard to picture.”

“I guess you have a point…” Amber agreed.

Unfortunately, none of us really felt like going to any other bars after the incident with Silver Spanner. Amber and Gabe left shortly after Sugar and Silver, followed by Alex, and then finally Mel. By the time Full Bloom and I decided to leave, though, the lights were coming on in the bar and the bartenders were calling for last round. We both found ourselves a little hungry, so we stopped at a small diner down the road and split a jumbo sized veggie submarine sandwich. By the time we had polished off our food, it was going onto three in the morning.

“Ready to head home?” I asked, nodding towards the direction of my apartment.

Full Bloom quirked a smile at me. “Home, huh?”

“I mean… well, your place or mine.” I groaned and ran a hand through my hair. “Sorry, I didn’t—”

“It’s okay,” she said with an amused grin. “For what it’s worth, I did give you a spare key to my place as well. You’re more than welcome to call my place home if I can say the same about yours. It’s kind of sweet of you to think of it that way.”

“More like embarrassing,” I replied with shake of my head.

Full Bloom clucked her tongue and nudged my leg with her snout. “Hey, no more frowning tonight. We had enough of that with poor Silver.”

“Well, in all due fairness, that was a solid reason to be frowning.”

“Yes, I know, but at least she has ponies who are there for her.” Full Bloom looked to her hooves as we made our way out into the streets of Hoofington. “Honestly, I don’t know what I would have done if Sugar wasn’t there. I mean, I get it, really, but… I’m not like Sugar Sweet. I don’t have the will to stay positive around a pony who’s hurting like Silver was back there.”

“Hey, I thought you said no more frowning,” I chuckled, giving her a light flick behind an ear as I saw the corners of her lips curl downward.

“Hey!” She looked up and grimaced a bit, only to shoot me a sheepish look as she realized what she was doing. “You’re right, though. I just… it bums me out that things like that happen to others. I barely know her, but I was worried about Silver Spanner when we were in the bathroom. She was going on about how she was being stupid and that her two partners were probably right about breaking up with her…”

“Wow, that bad?”

Full Bloom nodded. “Yeah, but we managed to talk her out of saying those things about herself. Whether she still believes them to be true or not is her choice, but… I like to think that we managed to at least convince her that she’s not worthless for her infertility.”

“If having and raising foals is that big of a deal, why not adopt?” I suggested. “I… I didn’t want to ask that back there for obvious reasons, but… is infertility really that big of a deal?” I let out an exasperated sigh. “Seriously, what is wrong with people… er, ponies, I mean.”

“Honestly, I never thought much about it, but I can’t say the same thing for others. Who knows? As for adoptions, that’s definitely a possible alternative. There’s lots of fillies and colts that just need a place to call home and someone to care for them… especially after what happened to all those families in the Caleponia area.”

“The Cloven attacks, you mean?”

“Mmhm,” Full Bloom replied in a quiet voice while nodding. “Equestria and the Gryphon Kingdom are still trying to connect families back together that were separated by that mess. What’s even worse is that lots of fillies, colts, and young griffins probably have no family to return to.”

Without even realizing it, I had placed a hand along Full Bloom’s neck, running my fingers through her mane as she softly hummed in contentment. The feeling was mutual, though; it helped take my mind off the troubled thoughts rolling through my mind. I didn’t know Silver Spanner all that well, but… how could anyone break off a relationship, just like that, without any thought on how the other might feel? I suppose I didn’t have both sides of the story, but it sounded like Silver had been just cast aside without too much trouble on her future herdmates’ end.

“Hey,” Full Bloom’s voice cut through my thoughts. “You alright?”

My face must have been reflecting my thoughts at the moment if Full Bloom was taking note of my current state. “Y-yeah, just… getting a little taste of pony culture’s less-appealing features.”

I give Full Bloom credit for not getting upset by my reply. I could have worded that a little better, I suppose.

“For what it’s worth, Darren, you’re not the only individual that’s had trouble figuring us out. I’m pretty sure we ponies don’t know what we’re doing half the time, anyway, so don’t feel bad about it. We’re a pretty peaceful species, but there’s always going to be a few bad apples in a bushel, you know?”

“You’re talking to a human being, Full Bloom. Most of us would probably agree on that sentiment regarding ourselves.”

“Would it make you feel better if I said the griffins still have trouble understanding us sometimes, even after all this time that they’ve been allies to us?” Full Bloom asked.

“Sure,” I answered with a chuckle. “Humanity has trouble figuring itself out just as much, and we’re all the same species.”

“Good.” She gave me a soft smile and nudged the side of my leg with her snout. “Let’s head back to your place. I want to see a little bit of what this Lord of the Rings is all about.”

I let out a laugh. “There’s not nearly enough hours left in the night for us to get a good start on the movies without losing several hours of sleep, Full Bloom.”

“Just a little bit? Please?” She pouted. “I’m curious.”

I relented, knowing full well that we would probably both be paying for this in the morning via lack of good sleep. Still, it was nice, having someone to share things like watching a movie with.

I suppose it was true, what Full Bloom had said. There’s always going to be some bad mixed in with the good. Though, if I thought about it, that just made the good things all that more important to cherish.

I leaned down and planted a kiss on Full Bloom’s ear. She turned to face me, blinking in surprise as her ear twitched a little. “W-what was that for?”

She still has a thing for being touched around the ears. I thought to myself. I just smiled and shrugged. “Just because you’re wonderful.”

Full Bloom cleared her throat as a smile crept across her lips. “Oh… well, you’re even more wonderful.”

I arched an eyebrow. “This isn’t a contest you’re going to win, Full Bloom.”

“We’ll see about that. I might just have to show you how wonderful I think you are if you keep pushing me,” she purred.

My grin grew mischievous as I stopped walking and knelt down. Without warning, I planted a few quick kisses along her ears and trailed down her jaw, stopping when I reached her lips. I held her lips in mine for several long moments. When I pulled away, I hummed in thought as a taste touched my tongue that I hadn’t noticed before.

Huh… she tastes like… raspberries and citrus…?

“Hm,” I said, leaning forward and capturing her lips a second time. She moaned into the kiss, and I could feel her knees wobbling as her tongue began to tussle with my own. The taste ran across my tongue again, and my eyes widened a fraction.

That’s what it is! Raspberry lemonade! Huh…weird… but cool!

I vaguely recalled Gabe stating during lunch yesterday that ponies tended to have a scent or taste that was unique to them, sort of how the same could be said with humans. I never imagined it’d be a pleasant one like raspberry lemonade, though!

Although, I recall Gabe saying once that apparently Amber tasted a lot like caramel.

I felt myself slowly being pushed away from Full Bloom. She was sucking in air as she looked at me with wild, lust-laden eyes. She eventually found her voice, and stuttered out. “O-okay, forget the movie, I’ve got a better idea of how to spend the night!”

I chuckled quietly as Full Bloom’s mouth found my hand and began tugging me in the direction of my apartment, her tail swishing in excitement.

Yep, definitely not getting any sleep tonight.

End of Chapter Six

Author's Note

Phew! This was a bit of a doozy compared to the others. Well, either way, here's the sixth chapter for you folks. A little taste of the Gentleman for Mares classroom for you, as well as some pony culture. Hope you all enjoyed it.

I'd like to extend a big thanks to AJ Aficionado and Firesight for their help with pre-reading this chapter, as well as Demon Eyes Laharl for his help by offering input on my ideas and relating them to the Gentlemanverse. Check out their stories if you haven't already, they've all got some gems in their collection of works.

A few recommendations I'd make:

Firesight's Before the Storm: The Rise of Firefly is the first on the list. It blends a bit of the pony culture you've probably seen in the Gentlemanverse and other works with an Equestria from days long past. War between the griffins and ponies is just on the horizon, and times are hard for the Equestrian military. The story is told from the perspective of Firefly (hence the story title), a pegasus mare in the Royal Guard who has yet to become the hero that history sings about.

AJ Aficionado has two great stories featuring Roseluck in the Gentlemanverse, both of which are complete: The Scent of Prey and A Gentleman's Price. They tell of how Rose falls for a Gentleman named Richard after a heated night of fun and some rather risqué misadventures... well, at least by pony standards, I suppose. It's scintillating, and it's a nice exploration of a mare's love life as well as her friendships.

Demon Eyes Laharl currently has a story he's working on called Changeling Roun. It too takes place within the Gentlemanverse, but with changelings as the main focus (which is always a nice addition if you ask me). It follows the story of a changeling going by the name of 'Lumi', who is exploring her first relationship with a human named Shaun. While there is romance, there is also mystery and suspense; somepony... or something... is killing changelings, and risking the safety of the many changeling communities that have safely lay in hiding within Equestria. It's romance, but with the thrill of a murder mystery blended in!

The Mare Behind the Mask - Part One

Gentleman in Training

by Denim_Blue

Chapter Seven: The Mare Behind the Mask- Part One

The morning came with the silence of my apartment as I went through the morning ritual of washing up and getting in a light breakfast. Full Bloom had left before I had awoken, leaving me a note telling me that she would be gone until later into the afternoon. Something about field work in the deepest section of the Everfree Forest that Ecosystems for Equestria had staked out. So, with no one to keep me company, I had made quick work of my pear that I had been snacking on and made my way out the door, deciding to get an early start on my trek to work.

I was about two blocks from the brick building of the Hoofington branch headquarters when I noticed a familiar face taking a turn around a corner and heading in the same direction as I was. He was currently engaged with something on the phone in his hand, and didn’t even notice my approach.

“Arnold! Hey!”

The older man looked up from his phone, his face brightening a bit upon seeing me. “Oh, morning, Darren.” He stuffed his phone into the briefcase he carried his belongings in and greeted me with a firm handshake. “You’re heading to work early.”

“Yeah. My marefriend had to leave for work extra early this morning, so I was left to an empty apartment with nothing to do. Figured I’d head here early and see if there was anything I could do to pass the time, and maybe get in some extra training or whatever.”

“Training?” He chuckled in amusement. “What, you mean 'see if one of your instructors was available for a little hanky-panky'?”

“N-no, not exactly… though I wouldn’t be against it.” I rolled my eyes when he just chuckled more. “I was actually kind of hoping if there was anything I could get a headstart on as far as lectures go.”

“Mm, I hear you. Luckette’s been making sure I’m not shirking my notes.” He groaned as he tapped his briefcase. “The mare gave me a copy of her own notes she keeps for classes, and she’s planning on having a pop quiz some time before next weekend.”

We reached the cul-de-sac that Gentlemen for Mares was on, and made our way through the doors, a soft chime signaling our entrance. Instead of the usual calm atmosphere that greeted us whenever we walked through the lobby, we were greeted by a rather frantic Manila, who was bustling around the workspace behind her desk, mumbling to herself as she pulled out folders and stuffed other ones in seemingly randomly spots. With her was a much calmer Silky, who was trying her best to soothe the frazzled secretary from the looks of things.

“Manila, it’s going to be fine. She’s not going to expect this place to be perfect. For Celestia’s sake, we’ve been a training facility for less than a month. There’s going to be a little chaos mixed in with the order.”

Manila turned to our the head of the Hoofington headquarters, her eyes wide while a few locks of her mane came loose from her neat little hair bun. “No! I-I cannot let her see this!” She waved a hoof at the shelving space behind her. “She’s going to see how disorganized everything looks, and then she’ll boot me out the door and… and she will replace me with a mare from Manehatten who—”

“Manila,” Silky cut her off with a hoof touching her lips gently. “Stop.” Manila ceased her babbling. “Take a deep breath. With me, okay? In…” Silky took a breath in through her nostrils, and Manila copied her actions. They held it for a moment, then Silky exhaled while saying softly. “Out…again. In… and out…”

Manila and Silky repeated the action twice more before Silky cleared her throat and placed a hoof on the tan mare’s shoulders. “Better?”

“Y-yes…” She sighed. “Sorry, Silky. I was… you know…”

“I understand, but you need to remember that she also personally appointed you to this position because she knows you’re good at your job.”

“But… it’s so disorgan—”

“No, sweetie, no it’s not.” Silky placed a wing on her back and slowly turned her to face the shelving space. “I can already see that you’ve organized everything by clientele region and by alphabetical order. I know you’ve also been working on transferring things over to the new computer in the back office.” She gave Manila a reassuring smile. “You’ve done an amazing job, and I’ve heard both Ribbon and Dawn Weave speak nothing but wonderful things about you whenever they’re helping you back here.”

“I… I guess…”

“Look, Manila, you’ve been here since five this morning. Why don’t you take a fifteen minute break and stretch your legs a bit, okay?”

“Oh, but… I have so much stuff to take care of…”

“Yes, and none of it is of immediate concern. The lobby is clean, the offices are in tip-top shape. Tidy said you were here late into the evening, helping her get the place prepared for the visit today, so I don’t think you have anything else to worry about.” Silky grinned. “So, please, as a favor to yourself and to me, take a break. Get something to eat, too, okay? Eating those granola bars and drinking coffee is hardly enough to get you through a day.”

“Alright, Silky… thanks…”

Manila trotted out a back door into the office area, leaving Silky alone behind the desk. The pegasus picked up a folder Manila had been holding, and after a quick search, slid it into a spot on one of the shelves. When she finally walked back to the front desk, she blinked in surprise, clearly having not noticed Arnold and I enter. “Oh! Good morning, boys!”

“Manila seemed a tad stressed,” Arnold noted. “Everything okay?”

Silky sighed, “Yes… and no. We… got an unexpected call on the new phone we set up the other day. Turns out the head honcho is stopping by around noon or so to check out our place, see how we’re doing.”

The head honcho? I raised an eyebrow. “What, you mean like an executive or something?”

“Platinum Corona. She’s the founder of Gentlemen for Mares, and yes, she more or less holds the power of a head executive. Basically, whatever she says is law… well, within the laws of Equestria, that is. To be honest, more than a few rumors are going around that she’s got the ear of Princess Celestia. She has a good deal of influence within the social elite of Equestria.”

“She sounds like a very powerful mare,” Arnold said with an intrigued tone in his voice. “I… think I’ve heard a little bit about her, actually. If I remember the stories I’ve heard about her, she would be right at home within the corporate business world of Earth.”

Silky sighed and brushed away a lock of her blonde mane. “Yes, but… at the same time, she’s not as bad as ponies make her sound. She just expects you to do your job, and do it well, and in turn, she’ll make sure you get paid for doing a good job.” She waved a hoof idly as she continued. “She’s actually a bit of a mentor to some of us, I suppose. She’s always pushing us to do better.”

“So… anything we should be prepared for, then?” I asked.

“Just be yourselves, and answer any questions to the best of your ability.” She paused, then added. “Don’t lie to her; she’s pretty good at reading a person or pony. Wouldn’t be surprised if that’s her special talent.”

“What, is she going to be interviewing us?”

“Not in the sense that you’re thinking of. She’ll probably just want to get to know you boys a bit. See what Hoofington has to offer to the company. She’ll probably want to see how you’re all acclimating to the environment, too.”

“Huh, a head of a company with a genuine interest in the lower-chain employees?” I chuckled. “That already sounds too good to be true.”

Silky smiled. “Believe it or not, she likes to stay involved with our Gentlemen and Handlers. She actually personally appoints a few clients and Gentlemen, depending on the situation and circumstances.” She laughed a little as she nodded back to the doors leading to the back offices. “While you may not see too much of her, there’s a good chance she’ll be keeping track of us, especially you five. Hoofington is a bit of an experiment for her.”

“... uh… and how exactly are we an experiment?” I asked, Arnold chuckling at my concern.

“Nothing sinister, I promise,” Silky giggled. “While almost every Gentleman forms a clientele base over time, she wants us to pay special attention to our clientele base.”

“How so?” Arnold asked.

“By keeping a line of communication open between you boys and your clients. Obviously, the office,” she gestured to our surroundings, “will serve as the communication line. It’s both to protect your privacy and to provide a guaranteed means of getting in touch with you. We have a personal email address for each Gentleman to use, we have voicemail, and we have good old fashioned snail mail.” She beamed brightly at the last part. “There’s nothing quite like a written letter, after all. The personal touch helps, sometimes.”

“Huh… and this was all ‘Platinum Corona’s’ idea?” Arnold inquired, sounding impressed.

“Partially. Um, truth be told, I sort of spoke up about the idea of furthering the relations between clients and Gentlemen. She took it from there.”

“Sweet. Looks like you’ve got the attention of our boss, huh?”

Silky gave me a nervous smile. “I guess so. I’m a little nervous about it. I’d… appreciate it if you keep that to yourselves, by the way. I have to keep maintaining an image and whatnot.”

Arnold and I gave a nod. “You got it, Silky,” I replied.

“Thanks…” Her shoulders loosened a bit. “It’s nice to have someone to talk to about that.” She stood up a little straighter, and continued. “So, what are you two doing here so early?”

“I came to prepare for a possible pop quiz,” Arnold replied, lifting up his briefcase. “Got over twenty pages of notes to go over.”

“I got bored at home and decided to see if I could do anything here to pass time until work starts,” I replied, earning a chuckle from Arnold and an amused smile from Silky.

“Well, if you’re looking to help, I know Dawn Weave was out back tending to the garden. I’m sure she’d like some extra help until class starts.”

I looked to Arnold, gave a shrug, and nodded to Silky. “Okay, you said she was out back?”

“Mmhm. Just look for the thestral with the big, frilly sun hat and the pink gardening apron on.”

Well, that wouldn’t be hard to miss. I made my way to the back entrance of the headquarters and stepped out to the back lawn. Sure enough, there was Dawn Weave, tending to a clump of tulips in the garden lining the back of the building. She must have heard me approaching, for she looked up from her work and smiled. “Ah, good morning.”

Dawn Weave’s voice was smooth and velvety, but at the same time lacked the same degree of sensuousness that Royal Ribbon’s own voice had. It was still pleasant to the ears, though.

“Morning, Miss Dawn Weave. Silky said you could use a little help back here until class starts.”

She chuckled softly as she wiped her brow with a hoof. Her face had specks of dirt on it, and the frilly hat and apron both had clumps of soil clinging to them as well. Even so, I wouldn’t be lying if I said she had a beauty to her.

“Just call me Dawn Weave. I’m far too young for you to be talking to me like that,” she said with a smile. “Though, I do welcome the help and company.”

After she pointed me to a wheelbarrow that had gardening supplies in it, I put on a pair of clean gloves for human hands and set to work with weeding out the garden with her.

“So, you’re Gabe’s friend, right?”

I smiled. “Depending on how much trouble he’s currently in, yes, I am his friend.”

She giggled softly as she pulled out a rather stubborn weed. “He speaks well of you. Says you and Alex are both wonderful friends to him.”

“Eh, we can be.” I replied with a shrug. “Sometimes I feel like throttling the guy, but most of the time I enjoy his company.”

“I can understand that sentiment,” she said with a nod and another giggle. “I have a good feeling about him, though. He seems like a genuinely good man. I’m sure he’ll be a great Gentlemen when he’s done with his training and classes.”

Well, that put Dawn Weave in my good books. Anyone willing to give Gabe a chance was okay with me.

“Did you plant all these flowers yourself?” I asked, admiring the garden. There were not only tulips, but several types of lilies, a few rows of native prairie grasses, irises, and even a few rose bushes in one corner. Not only that, but there were a few lilac and honeysuckle bushes throughout the property that I hadn’t noticed earlier. The fact that the sheer variety of plants still had a semblance of order and pattern to them in their layout said a lot about whoever planted them.

“Oh, no, I only help with maintaining the garden. Candy Apple was the one responsible for the garden design and planting everything. Apparently, she got a great deal for all these flowers at a floral shop in Ponyville of all places. She bought all of the flowers and bushes while she was visiting some family, I guess.” She took a few steps back from her work and admired the garden in its entirety. “Silky’s been thinking of extending a business partnership with the flower shop, but it’s nothing set in stone yet. Gentlemen for Mares already has a few partnerships with several hotels, luxury spas, travel agencies, and even a hot-air balloon dating service. Still, a flower shop that could provide us with some more specialized bouquets and the like? That would be neat.”

Dawn Weave looked up to me, her bronze irises shimmering beneath the brim of her sun hat. Despite her dark blue coat and jet black mane and overall nocturnal appearance, she seemed to be perfectly at home in the morning sunshine.

“I’d be all for that. It’d be nice to have someone who can supply us with something like special-order bouquets and stuff to plant around the building.”

“Exactly. Though, I hear the shop is still a bit on the small side. They can only take so many orders at a given time, and they deliver everything by hoof and wagon.” She smiled at that. “Three earth pony mares run the business, if I remember Candy Apple telling me right. I love gardening, but there’s something special about plants grown by the hooves of earth ponies. For most of them, growing and nurturing life is second nature to them.” She chuckled, “I’m a tad jealous about it, actually.”

“Well, I’m sure most of them can’t claim to be poets.”

“Oh goodness, how’d you find out about that?” Dawn Weave asked, her cheeks flushing a bit as she giggled.

“Ambrosia. She’s one of my instructors.”

Dawn Weave’s expression brightened at the mentioning of Ambrosia. “Ah, Ambrosia. Of course,” She hummed and shook her head in amusement. “She’s a sweet girl, but a little bit of a worrywart.” She shifted her wings in a manner that resembled a shrug. “You grow to appreciate her, though.”

“I can imagine.” I squatted down beside the garden and looked over the growing flowers. “So, what else can I do to help?”

She nodded to a wheelbarrow over in one corner of the yard filled with mulch. “If you could lay down some mulch around the rose bushes, that would be very much appreciated. There’s a spading fork by the wheelbarrow you can use, and if you need any more mulch to spread, there’s a small pile behind the work shed in the back.”

Nodding, I got to work with spreading mulch. It wasn’t all that hard of work, and with the spading fork to help me, I didn’t get any of the mulch on my clothing. Time flew by for the two of us as we swapped stories about Gabe and each other.

Dawn Weave openly admitted to being a bit of a black sheep in her family, seeing as she was mostly diurnal. She apparently wrote for a general interest magazine that was geared towards mares, supplying it with irregular poetry, advice, and short story contributions. While she loved it, the work by itself wasn’t reliable and the paychecks she received weren’t enough to live off of. Thankfully, her brother and sister helped with that, bringing in a steady income with their own work. She had taken a job at Gentlemen for Mares partly to help make ends meet, and partly because she had, in her own words, ‘a major attraction to humans’.

“So, you’re from Hollow Shades, you said?”

“Yep, born and raised.”

I grinned as I tossed some mulch onto one of the last rose bushes that needed to be covered. “I’ve never been there. Only heard that it’s surrounded by forests.”

“It is. Now, I might have a bias, but I think you’d like it. If you like going in the Everfree Forest as much as you say you do, I think you’d like Hollow Shades.”

“As long as there aren’t any Vampiric Jackalopes or manticores, I think I’d enjoy it,” I replied with a wink, getting a laugh out of her. “I’ll have to go there with Full Bloom. She’d probably like it, too.”

“Full Bloom?” Dawn Weave repeated.

“Oh, yeah, she’s my marefriend,” I answered. “She studies botany, and knows more about plants than anyone else I know, pony, human, or otherwise.”

“Marefriend?” Dawn Weave raised an eyebrow and smiled. “My, my, so you’re not so wet behind the ears, are you?”

I shrugged as I set down the spading fork. “She does most of the seducing between the two of us. I like to think it’s my intellect and devilishly good looks that attract her to me, though.”

“Well, I can see what she finds appealing about you, Darren.” Dawn Weave set down her gardening trowel and wiped her brow. “I think that about does it. I need to get cleaned up before Platinum Corona comes here.”

I managed to keep myself from working up much of a sweat, thankfully. The last thing I wanted was to reek of sweat and dirt when I met the supposed mare that ran all of Gentlemen for Mares. I walked over to Dawn Weave and knelt down so I could admire our handiwork. “Not bad at all, huh? We make a pretty good team.”

Dawn Weave hummed in agreement. “I couldn’t have gotten this all done without your help. Thanks, Darren.” She surprised me with a chaste peck on the cheek. “I’ll be sure to let Silky know how much of a help you were.”

“Nah, you don’t need to do that,” I laughed. “I’m just happy I could make this place look a little nicer.”

Dawn Weave just smiled as she made her way to the door. “I’ll see you later, Darren.”

“Later, Dawn Weave.”

She paused in mid stride, and turned around to face me. “Actually, you can call me Dawn.” She smiled warmly. “That’s what my friends call me.”

“I dunno. The last thing I want is for Gabe to be getting jealous of me, now,” I joked.

“Oh, you don’t need to worry about that, he’s already taken to calling me Weavy.” She arched an eyebrow and continued, a mischievous grin spreading across her face. “Now, if I wanted to make him jealous, I could think of a few things we could do…”

I snickered as she giggled. “I’ll see you later, Dawn.”

“Take care, Darren.”

As Dawn Weave headed inside, I took a quick glance at my phone and noticed it was almost nine thirty. Class was scheduled to start soon, so I made my way inside and washed up in the men’s bathroom. With my face and hands clean, I walked into the classroom we were scheduled to meet in today. I noticed Silky at the front of the office, along with a mare that I wasn’t familiar with. She had a yellow coat that reminded me of daisies, and her curled mane and slightly cropped tail were of a deep, green hue. She was an earth pony, and looked to be a little older than Silky.

Judging from Silky’s smile, she must have been a friend, too. That or at least someone she was familiar with. It’s a little hard to tell; Silky seems to be a naturally friendly mare to everyone she meets.

“... I was prepared for Platinum to visit, but not you, Five Stars.” Silky gave the other mare a light nudge with a hoof. “Why didn’t you let us know ahead of time that you were coming? I would have been happy to let the girls know so we could get you a room set up.”

Five Stars… Five Stars… where have I…?

“Oh, Darren! Come in, come in!” Silky waved me in with a hoof. “Darren, this is Five Stars. She’s a surprise guest lecturer we’ll be having here for a few days.”

“Guest lecturer?” Five Stars laughed. “I don’t think I’m qualified for anything bordering on educational, Silky.”

“Oh, don’t worry too much about that. Luckette probably won’t let you within an inch of her podium, anyway,” Silky said with a goodnatured laugh, then gestured to me with a hoof. “Five Stars, this is one of our Gentlemen, Darren Halverson.”

I walked up to the mare and gave her a gentle smile. She gave me a smile in return and lifted up a hoof while fluttering her eyelashes a little. I couldn’t hold back the grin that spread across my face as I took her outstretched hoof in one hand. For a moment I thought of kneeling down and giving the customary Noble Greeting, though I decided against it. No sense in practicing a gesture normally reserved for someone you planned to rut at some point. Besides, I still wasn’t familiar with all the nuances of such actions… yet. Luckette had informed us that we’d be covering that with our own instructors soon, though.

Instead, I settled for giving her a dip of my head as I ran a thumb over her hoof. Still a little too intimate, perhaps, but judging from her smile, she didn’t object to it. I turned up the suave in my voice to eleven and locked eyes with her while smiling warmly. “It’s a pleasure, Miss Five Stars. Welcome to our humble little town.”

As Five Stars’ smile widened a little, from behind the mare I could see Silky making a gesture similar to a fistpump and mouthing the words ‘Yes! Yes!’ while giving me an approving nod.

“Well, the pleasure is all mine, Mr. Halverson.” She looked over her shoulder to Silky, who had settled down shortly beforehand. “You said he’s in training?” She seemed to be pleasantly surprised, which I will admit did nothing to stop my ego from swelling up a bit.

Silky grinned. “Darren’s… a unique case, I suppose. He has no experience with mares, but—”

“Um, actually, Silky… I sort’ve am dating a mare now. I might have forgotten to tell you that beforehand. We started dating shortly after my interview with you, believe it or not.”

Silky’s eyes widened. “Wait, really?” I nodded. “Well, there you go!” She looked to Five Stars with a proud grin. “See? He’s a real charmer. Not as much of a flirt as Martin or Gabe, though, but Ribbon’s told me she’s looking forward to training.” She glanced over to me and winked.

“I can imagine why,” Five Stars gave me an appraising look, and for a moment I felt like I was in the eyes of a predator, not a miniature, alien equine. When she met my gaze once more, she winked at me as well.

Okay, this mare was definitely not shy around humans.

“Platinum said that Hoofington isn’t going with the standard recruitment phase of testing their skills with another mare. That true?” Five Stars’ gaze never left mine as she asked the question.

“No, we’re striving to focus a little more on the emotional aspects first. The physical stuff will come in due time, though, believe me.” Silky gave me an apologetic smile as Five Stars walked a little closer into my personal bubble. “As a certain set of media articles had taken great pains to make clear, there’s more to Gentleman For Mares than sex, after all,” she finished with a wink.

Five Stars actually paused at that, and her smile softened as she glanced over her shoulder to face Silky. “That’s why I’m glad we have you running this place.” She chuckled as the pegasus blushed a little. Five Stars turned back to me and nodded to Silky. “You’re working for a great mare, Darren. Treat her well and she’ll take good care of you.” She leaned in close, and whispered to me. “Her special talent is finding the best way to comfort someone, by the way.”

“F-Five Stars!” Silky said, clearly flustered from hearing that. “You don’t need to say it like that!”

“What?” Five Stars giggled, her seductive air quickly dissipating as she retreated a few steps when Silky tried to bat at her with one of her wings. “It’s not like I was lying, was I?”

“But the way you said it made it sound like something different, and you know—Darren, stop giggling, you’re supposed to be on my side!”

I couldn’t help it, really. Silky had the cutest pouting face, and Five Stars giggling was contagious. “Sorry, Silky.”

She frowned. “Traitor.”

I sighed, and calmed myself down before putting on the best stern expression I could muster. “Miss Five Stars, I must ask you to stop teasing my beloved manager so much. She’s a very delicate flower who must be nurtured and cherished so that she can help—”

“Okay, okay, enough, geesh,” Silky grumbled, but the ghost of a smile on her lips betrayed her attempt to look annoyed. “You’re lucky I find you so charming, Darren. Just be careful, or I’ll sick Pizzelle on you.”

I just chuckled some more as Silky let out a quiet snort, though the telltale signs of a smile were already creeping back onto her lips.

“You’re sure it’s okay for me to take over the lecturing for today? I don’t want to step on anypony’s hooves,” Five Stars asked as our laughter settled down. “I know most of the girls here are pretty new to the business, but I know there’s a few that just don’t have that high opinion of me.”

Silky waved a hoof. “Don’t worry about that. Luckette already knows about how hectic today is going to be, and I could use her help with a few things.”

“I don’t have anything really prepared, at least as far as classroom material goes…” Five Stars went on, her confident demeanor faltering a bit. “Platinum just sent me a message through pegasus express mail the other day, asking me to stop by here today so I could help her with assessing your place. My best guess is she wants me to help prepare all you girls for teaching and the like. I know most of your instructors are first timers, seeing as this wasn’t much of a training facility until a short time ago.” She sighed, then added. “Personally, I think Ever Ring may have been better suited for this kind of work, what with the classes and offices. I prefer more of a hooves-on approach when it comes to teaching Gentlemen, personally.”

Silky walked forward and draped a foreleg over her shoulders. “Stars, you helped me out back when I started at Gentleman for Mares in Manehatten. I know there’s a lot you can teach Darren and the rest of the boys, as well as us mares.”

Five Stars seemed to ponder over Silky’s words for a moment, then gave a nod. “Okay, but it won’t be much of a formal lecture if I’m doing any classroom stuff. More like a discussion.” She then added after a moment. “Luckette and anypony else who has lectures and class today can probably take over after an hour or so. We’ll see what happens.”

“That perfectly fine,” Silky said reassuringly. “The rest of our boys should be arriving soon.”

Silky eventually excused herself, leaving Five Stars and I in the classroom. I took a seat close to the front while Five Stars walked up to the blackboard behind her. She took a piece of chalk into her hoof and stared at the blackboard for several long moments. I was about to ask her if something was wrong when she started writing on the board.

She had drawn a vertical line across the board, dividing it in half. At the top of the blackboard she had written in rough English ‘Personal Life versus Professional Life’. On either side of the board she wrote the words ‘Pro’ and ‘Con’, then set the piece of chalk back down on the rack. She turned around to face me, a smile on her lips.

“I feel like I’ve heard of you before,” I said after a few moments passed. “It’s on the tip of my tongue, but…”

She chuckled, “You’d be surprised how often folks say that to me these days.”

So, turns out this Five Stars is a big deal. Like, a very big deal for Gentleman for Mares.

After the rest of the guys, along with Luckette and Royal Ribbon, showed up for class, we were all given a proper introduction on who the green maned mare was. Imagine my surprise when I found out that, along with her vast array of experience as a teacher for Gentleman, she was a major figurehead in what some were calling a cultural movement regarding Equestrian-human relationships.

Her name was indeed one I had heard before. She was the mare writing the magazine article that Mel had been telling me about the other day that was related to the significant need for change in the sex culture of Equestria, and her experiences before and after becoming an employee for Gentlemen for Mares. Well, there was a lot more to it than that, but those were two major things.

Judging from the look of admiration Ribbon was giving Five Stars, she must have been a bit of a role model for more than a few mares throughout the land.

“...now, while Ribbon and I will be doing lecturing today, if time permits, I think it’d be great to let Five Stars have the floor for now.” Luckette gave Five Stars a nod. “They’re all yours.”

Five Stars smiled, and waited for the two mares to take a seat before she began. “Well, embellishments aside, as Ribbon and Luckette told you boys, I’m Five Stars.”

“Dear, there’s a difference between embellishments and facts,” Ribbon said gently, earning a chuckle from Luckette.

Five Stars just smiled. “Regardless, I’m still a mare. However, Silky believes that my experience would be beneficial to you five, so I decided to talk to all of you about what it means to be a Gentleman. Namely, what it will mean for your personal lives, as well as your professional ones.” She gestured to the blackboard behind her with a hoof. “Let me start by asking: Have all of you been involved with another pony in the past at all as far as relationships go?”

There were nods from all present, myself included.

“Good, that will save a bit of discussion, then.” She picked up a piece of chalk with one of her hooves—something that I still have trouble wrapping my mind around, seeing as they have no fingers—and looked to us. “So, I’m sure a few of you have noticed a few cultural differences between Earth and Tellus.”

More nods from us.

“Now, as Gentlemen, you’re going to be expected to understand these cultural differences, and adapt to them appropriately. Some may even go as far as to say you will adopt them as your own. I won’t be here to tell you about those things, though. That’s the job of your instructors, such as Luckette and Ribbon.” She gave the two mares a nod. “I figured today we could discuss something a little more close to home: how your jobs will affect you as people, and what you can expect.”

While I had an idea of what she was going to be talking about based on what she had written on the blackboard earlier, I still found my interest piqued by this revelation.

“So, why don’t we start. Can any of you think of some things that will be affecting you with this line of work? Don’t be afraid to suggest something; there’s no real right or wrong answers.”

Arnold was the first to raise his hand, and Five Stars nodded for him to speak. “Time.”

Five Stars smiled, but cocked her head to the side. “Care to elaborate on that, Arnold?”

He gave her his usual relaxed smile. “We’re going to be doing a lot of traveling, and spending a lot of time dedicated to clients.” He gave a shrug. “I mean, twenty-four hours isn’t that much time to do a lot of things, if you think about it. Not to mention sleeping. I guess I’d consider that a con, since there’s never enough time to do anything as it is.”

“Good point,” Five Stars said with a nod, jotting down the word ‘Time’ on the cons side. “Though, I wouldn’t worry too much about being tired all the time. Gentleman for Mares does make sure that you boys have some time off to recuperate and have a social life of your own.” She took a moment, then looked to the rest of us. “What else?”

Alex raised a hand, and she pointed to him with a hoof. “Improved health. I mean… we’re exercising a lot, and it’s expected of us to keep a certain level of fitness with the job after training.”

“Very good,” Five Stars grinned. She wrote the words ‘Health’ on the pros side, underlining it once. “Now, I’m confident when I say that you all will be at least a little healthier by the time you’re finished with your classes and training.” She set down the chalk as she continued. “This is something I think all of you should take to heart now instead of later: being a Gentleman is very physically demanding. You’ll need to be able to handle dealing with mares who are, more than likely, going to be stronger than you. This is doubly so for most earth pony clients, like yours truly and Luckette over here.”

Luckette gave a nod of agreement. “Five Stars is right. I don’t mean to insult any of you, but I am probably capable of lifting more weight than any of you, and if push came to shove I could overpower you.”

Gabe and Martin chuckled in amusement.

“It’s true, though.” Five Stars paused for a moment to size up Alex, then walked up to him and gave him a sly grin. “I think a demonstration is in order.” Five Stars’ eyes twinkled a bit as she continued. “Did you play any sports, Alex?”

Alex arched an eyebrow, but nodded. “Yeah, football, a few years of hockey, and track and field.”

Five Stars nodded. “Would it be fair to say you’re stronger than most of the boys here?”

There was a nod from him after several moments, along with a murmur of agreement from a few of us, myself being among them.

“Did you do have any jobs that were physically demanding?” She continued.

“I worked on my uncle’s dairy farm when I was a teen during the summer. I’d say it was physically demanding.”

“Good.” Five Stars move so she stood before him. “Alex, I want you to try and stop me from pushing you towards the wall where Ribbon is sitting. Don’t stop trying to push me back until I say to, even if you’re pressed right against the wall, okay?”

Alex flashed her a confused look. “Um… okay…?”

Luckette sat up a little straighter in her seat and frowned slightly. “Five Stars, are you sure…?”

She gave Luckette a reassuring smile. “I won’t go too hard on him.” She rolled her neck a bit and exhaled through her nostrils. “Get into a ready stance if you want.” Alex shrugged, and got into a three-point stance, adjusting his feet a bit before nodding to her. “Ready?”

“Ready.”

Five Stars grinned and took a step forward. She pressed her right shoulder into Alex while he in turn moved out of his stance to try and keep her from pushing him back, pressing both of his hands against her shoulders like a lineman would in a football game. It was probably a bit awkward, given the difference in body frames, but the principles were still applicable. Given his size, Alex should have had little difficulty in holding his ground.

The results were quite the opposite. It was… well, to be blunt, it was kind of embarrassing to watch. Alex was strong, but Five Stars?

In less than thirty seconds she had managed to press him against the wall. It hadn’t been sudden, but she never lost ground as she pushed him back. Alex had tried everything to slow her down, but the best he managed to do was slide and lose his balance. She was kind enough to grab a hold of his shirt when he almost fell back once, at least.

As if to emphasize her point, Five Stars held him firmly against wall with the side of her body, and while it didn’t look all that painful, Alex’s flushed cheeks clearly told that he was at least a little embarrassed of his predicament.

“Now, keep in mind,” Five Stars said as she remained pressed against Alex, “I’m not what you’d call an athlete among earth ponies. I am fit, but I’m not somepony who spends her days exercising or playing sports for a living.” She looked rather relaxed, in all honesty, despite Alex still trying to nudge her back. The best he managed was to make her adjust her footing. “Alex here is actually pretty strong, and I’d hazard a guess and say he’s probably more agile than I am, even for a man his size.” She looked up to Alex, who was beet red in the cheeks, and giggled softly. “You can stop now, Alex.” She stopped leaning against him, and placed a hoof on his leg while smiling. “Thanks for helping me.”

“Yeah, yeah… s-sure…” was all Alex could say in reply, his gaze resting on the floor as he returned to the desks.

As Alex took his seat, Five Stars went on, “So, as you can see, all this physical training isn’t for nothing. Some of your clients will probably be athletes. I know for a fact that a few of our customers are world-renown sports celebrities. You need to be prepared to service them, even if they’re stronger than you.”

Gabe and Martin looked a little less amused after that demonstration. Even I had found myself reevaluating my past experiences with earth ponies. How many times had I been gently nudged by Professor Wild Call when I worked at Ecosystems for Equestria? How much strength had she been holding back whenever she did give a gentle push or or nudge in a particular direction?

“Right, I think that point has been made. What else can you boys think of?”

I shook away the stunned silence, and cleared my throat. “Relationships?”

“Hm?” Five Stars turned to me, giving me an expectant look.

“Well, I mean, relationships outside of work. With… other women, men, mares, or stallions, even. Friends or… marefriends and coltfriends, I guess.”

“That,” Five Stars said, her smile growing as she walked up to the board, “is what I was hoping to hear. Excellent answer, Darren.” She wrote ‘Relationships’ in big letters over both sides of the board. “This, gentlemen, is probably one of the biggest hurdles you’ll have with this job, but you may also find benefits from working for Gentleman for Mares that carry over to your personal lives.” She looked to all five of us as she asked, “So, if you don’t mind me asking, how many of you are in a relationship with another individual: marefriend, girlfriend, griffin, stallion, minotaur, zebra… you get the picture…” She watched as Alex, Gabe, and myself raised our hands. She nodded in satisfaction.

Ribbon cleared her throat, getting everyone’s attention. “I think it stands to reason that your jobs will also affect non-romantic relationships. Families, friends, and so forth. Wouldn’t you agree, Five Stars?”

“Oh, definitely.” Five Stars gave Ribbon a nod. When she turned back to us, her playful smile fell a bit. “If you don’t mind me asking… do your significant others know of your work?” Again, Gabe, Alex, and I nodded. “How do they feel about your jobs?”

“Well,” Gabe began. “My marefriend is fine with it. I’d even say she’s kind of excited that I’m a Gentleman.”

“Same,” I said with a chuckle. “My marefriend’s been supportive of this, and she’s helped me work on skills like brushing, massaging, and… other things.”

Alex just nodded. “I’ve heard no complaints from my marefriend. She thinks it’s cool, and knows it’s not as bad as the media has made it sound.”

“Ah,” Five Stars frowned a little at that last bit. “Yes, I don’t mean to change the topic, but the media is… well, for those of you familiar with the articles I wrote, I’m sure you can guess how I feel about some media and social groups.” She took her chalk and scrawled ‘negative public opinion’ and ‘sensationalism’ under the cons portion of the board. “Either way, I’m happy you have supportive marefriends. A little advice, by the way: don’t be afraid to ask them for advice if you can’t talk to one of your instructors. I’m sure they’ll be happy to help if they’re as supportive as you boys say.” She finished with a wink that got a giggle out of Ribbon and Luckette.

She tapped her chin in thought before returning to the board and underlining ‘relationships’ several times. “There may be some stressful moments in your relationships as well, for a variety of reasons. Long traveling periods, exhaustion after work, and many other things. Things might not always be easy, and you might have to make some choices if things get tough. I will say this, though: the vast majority of our Gentlemen who have relationships outside of clients experienced few, if any, issues that were related to work. Most of those issues can be taken care of just by talking and listening, and understanding what’s wrong.”

“Sounds like common sense to me,” Martin remarked.

“It is, really,” Five Stars admitted. “Still, you’d be surprised how much communication can do for a herd, a couple, or what have you.”

The impromptu lecture continued in a similar fashion for the better part of an hour, just as Five Stars had thought it would. By the time she had finished, we had covered topics from cultural sensitivity, vegetarian-heavy diets (which Alex had insisted overlap both pro and con instead of being only pro), greater understanding of pony anatomy, emotional issues relating to work, and greater knowledge of Equestrian music.

Luckette and Ribbon had taken over after that, going into a history of Canterlot Etiquette and social structure. Five Stars stuck around, listening with interest and adding in her own thoughts and experience relating to the Equestrian capital a few times.

A lot of the lecture was talking about aristocracy and upper class practices, but I was interested in the cultural history of it all. Unicorns had a long history of royalty, nobility, and scholars, given their culture before the uniting of the three tribes. Pegasi families often talked of their pride in flight and skill, and lots of large families had military backgrounds. Earth ponies had their expansive family trees, and many individuals could trace back their lineage to explorers, pioneers, and farmers who brought life to the land dating back hundreds of years.

“I think it goes without saying though that there is hardly any ‘pure’ family lineages anymore,” Ribbon said as she slowly paced in front of the classroom. “For instance, my grandmother was an earth pony, and many of my cousins on my father’s side are pegasi as well as unicorns. I have family in Cloudsdale as well as Manehatten, despite spending most of my youth growing up in Canterlot. Even so, my family still is considered by many to be a part of the aristocracy, considering our long line of records and the land we own.”

Luckette gave a nod. “Ribbon is right. While pegasi, earth ponies, and unicorns all have their own unique abilities and individual talents, the belief of keeping tribes separated is hardly the norm. You’re more than likely to receive a few belittling comments and even open insults if you consider one tribe ‘superior’ to the others. I believe it was Clover the Clever who said, “Flesh, fur, and bone cannot express the soul in the same manner as the heart and mind,”” Luckette smiled brightly. “And, Five Stars, not to try and butter you up, but I daresay you’ve shown more than a few ponies, humans, and other species that there is plenty more we can all learn about ourselves and each other with your articles.”

Five Stars chuckled, “You’re such a flatterer… thank you, though.”

A voice spoke up from the back of the classroom at that point. “Well said, Luckette. That’s part of why we have Gentleman for Mares in the first place.”

All eyes turned towards the far corner of the room near the doors leading in. There, sitting on one of the benches, was a unicorn mare. She was noticeably taller than the other mares in the room, even sitting down I could tell that much. She had longer legs, and a lithe build to her. Her coat was pink, and her mane that cascaded down her neck was of a platinum white. She wore a red and black dress with rubies lining the seams that reminded me of something from my history lessons in school relating to the Victorian era; ruffled, elegant, and probably more expensive than my Uncle Dale’s Harley Davidson. To top it off, she wore a mask you might see in a ballroom masquerade, along with a feathered hat.

What really struck me about the mare was the air she held about her. It was palpable. Judging from the way Luckette and Ribbon both seemed to stand a little straighter, I wasn’t the only one who felt it. I didn’t feel intimidated so much as I felt the need to show this mare some respect.

Then, Martin decided to break the silence. “So… who’s the cosplayer pony?”

“M-Martin!” Luckette squeaked, her voice unusually high as she gave him a frantic look.

The mare sat up from the bench she had been sitting on, and looked to the two mares while chuckling. “I’m sorry for intruding. I merely wished to see how your lectures were handled.” The hint of a smile played at her barely visible lips as she added. “I like what I saw.”

“T-thank you.” Luckette gave a small nod, as did Ribbon. “I… forgive us, but we didn’t notice you enter the room.”

“Oh, I’ve been here for almost an hour and a half,” the mare replied. “Again, I apologize. I used a subtle little spell so I wouldn’t draw any attention. Nothing spectacular, really. I didn’t want to affect your class until you were done.”

“Well, then…” Royal Ribbon cleared her throat, and looked to us with a smile. “Boys, I’d like you to meet Platinum Corona: the founder and owner of Gentlemen for Mares.”

Shortly after our introduction to Platinum Corona by Ribbon, a mildly panicked Silky burst into the classroom and asked if any of us have seen Platinum Corona. Upon spotting said mare, she began to apologize for not properly introducing her to the staff. Platinum seemed completely fine with the whole thing, though.

“It’s fine, Silky. I’m sorry for disappearing on you like that, but I wanted to get a candid look at our hopeful Gentlemen and instructors before revealing myself.” She frowned a bit. “I didn’t mean to imply any distrust in your capabilities by doing that. I hope I didn’t cause you any unneeded problems.”

“O-oh, no, of course you didn’t.” Silky exhaled slowly, and loosened up. “I trust your trip from Manehatten was alright?”

Platinum gave a ghost of a smile. “Yes, it was. If you don’t mind, I will be spending the next two days here so that I may see how things are run here with Five Stars.”

Speaking of Five Stars, she was currently next to a shaky Manila, who was currently mumbling something about ‘missing records from Cloudsdale’.

“Well, I believe lectures are done for now, but Pizzelle is going to be running drills with the boys in about an hour,” Silky said with a smile. “She should be here soon. If you want, we can adjust the schedule so you can—”

“That’s alright, Silky. I’d be happy to assess their physical performances. Your letters say they’re doing rather well, so I have high hopes for them.”

Under his breath, Gabe grumbled. “Geez, she’s acting like we’re not even here.”

One of Platinum’s ears flicked towards us, and I felt my stomach knot up. Oh damn it, Gabe, why couldn’t you just keep your mouth shut?

Platinum turned towards us, approaching us with an intentionally slow gait. She eyed up Alex, Martin, and finally rested her eyes upon Gabe.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Einsworth, is there problem?” Her voice was soft and calm, but with how quiet it had become, you would have thought she shouted.

Oh crap, she’s got our names down and we haven’t actually introduced ourselves yet.

Despite the situation, Gabe kept his features schooled. “Nope. Nothing wrong, ma’am.”

Platinum studied him silently for a few more moments, then sighed softly, the faintest of frowns forming on her features. She turned away, but added while looking over her shoulder. “For the record, Mr. Einsworth, I do value the input of my Gentlemen. I value it a lot. If I am to be honest, I sometimes value it more than the instructors and handlers. If something is bothering you, I’d ask that you not hesitate to tell me. I may be your employer, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you, as well as the rest of you boys.”

As soon as she returned to her discussion with Silky—who looked a few shades paler and was giving Gabe a look bordering between homicidal and relieved—I looked to Gabe and mouthed the words, ‘What the hell?’ to him. He just shrugged and gave me an apologetic smile.

Pizzelle must have gotten word about Gabe’s little incident with Platinum, because she looked more than a little peeved as we lined up outside. “Alright, fillies, today, we’re going to be working on our cardio again… unless someone has an issue with that…” She paused for a few moments to study us. “Anyone? No? Good. I’d hate for a certain loudmouth to have any issues with the workout I have planned, after all.”

Yeah, okay, she had definitely gotten word about Gabe.

In no time at all, we were jogging around the track, Pizzelle sometimes running beside one of us, practically nipping at our heels and keeping us from slowing down. All the while Platinum Corona, Silky, Five Stars, and a few other instructors who had arrived watched with varying degrees of interest.

Gabe and Alex eventually sidled up beside Martin and I, Arnold close behind.

“So,” Alex said, “Anyone else feel like there’s something off about Platinum?”

Martin laughed. “Unicorn magic. I’m telling you, she was casting a spell on us to get under our skin.”

“No, she’s not,” Arnold said. “She’s testing us. She’s testing our mettle. Not unlike our wonderful P.T. coach over there.”

Pizzelle was currently standing off to the side of the track, watching us like a hawk watching a prospective meal in a field.

“You seem so sure of yourself,” Alex replied with a snort. “I get that she’s in charge around here, but seriously? The mask and whole mysterious aura-vibe she’s giving off is a bit much.”

“Nah,” Arnold said with a smirk. “Trust me, I’ve seen this kind of stuff before. She wants to know that there’s a future for this place. She’s trying to see us from a logical, unbiased perspective. Think about it: we’re going to make or break it for the Hoofington branch. She wants to know that this place is worth keeping. She’s going to put pressure on us because the demand for us to do well is real.”

That… huh, I hadn’t thought of that, now that I think about it. I mean, I knew about the branch’s situation, sure, but I never really considered that there was still a very real chance that the place would close shop on us.

“Well, damn, when you put it that way, it makes sense…” I mumbled.

“Not only that, but there’s also the pressure of us directly affecting the job of those ladies sitting with Platinum over there. If she’s not impressed with our performance, she’ll see it as a lack of training by Silky, Pizzelle, Luckette, and the rest of the girls. It will also probably be seen as a lack of dedication on our parts.” Arnold’s tone lacked any of its usual laid-back attitude as he continued. “Now, I don’t know about you boys, but I’m willing to suffer a bit of muscle pain and cramps if it’ll mean helping these lovely mares keep their jobs.”

I couldn’t help but agree with that sentiment. Between Pizzelle’s guidance and advice on preening and socializing and Silky’s willingness to give me a chance, I felt a twinge of indebtedness to the mares working here. Not to mention Royal Ribbon and Ambrosia, who would soon be giving me private lessons as well on the various aspects of being a Gentleman.

I’d hate to see their jobs disappear before they even got a chance to work with me.

With a renewed sense of determination, I picked up the pace a bit, keeping my eyes ahead. No sooner had I begun to separate from the group did Martin start catching up, along with Alex and Gabe. Even Arnold, who sometimes complained about a stiff knee during class, kicked up his usual steady pace.

“That’s the way, boys! Strong, steady strides!” Pizzelle said, a bit of peppiness lacing into her words. She began to canter along the outside of the track, keeping pace with us as she continued. I swear I saw the corners of her lips arch up a bit when I glanced over to her for a second.

So help me, seeing Pizzelle smile and laugh was worth the strain.

My mind began to wander to Full Bloom. I had told Five Stars myself; Full Bloom had given me her full support. Full Bloom wanted me to succeed, and saw my job not as an excuse to only have sex, but also as a way to help those who just needed a companion to talk to, someone to make them feel needed…

The discussion in class with Five Stars had got me thinking about what my relationship with Full Bloom meant to me. Yes, I would be working as an escort, but that was my profession. I wouldn’t be seeing anyone on the side while also dating Full Bloom. I know I had said something along the lines of understanding if she wanted to see someone on the side during those long periods that I may be gone, but… in truth, did I want that?

I was getting paid to provide services like that, and while it was my choice to work at Gentleman for Mares, it wasn’t like I did it because I wasn’t happy with Full Bloom. I may have only started dating her, but I cared about her too much to hurt her by seeing someone outside of work, pony, human, or otherwise. What if she was uncomfortable with it, but hid it for my benefit? I wouldn’t put it past her; she was pretty good at putting on a tough front.

I’d have to talk to her and see what she felt about that. If it was to truly just be a relationship between the two of us, I’d need to clear the air on anything right from the get-go. I’d rather apologize for changing my tune now on the topic than risk having someone get hurt later when it should have been avoided…

With thoughts of Full Bloom, Silky, and the others who wanted me to succeed, I continued to pick up the speed at a steady rate. Martin was already gaining a lead on me, but I wasn’t all that upset about it. It was to be expected of the fastest guy in our little group.

“Six more laps, six more! I want to see those legs moving, boys! You got ladies watching you; if that doesn’t motivate you to do your best, than maybe my hooves to your rear will. Einsworth, stop running like a limp-ankled ninny and pump those arms!”

“Love you too, Pizzelle!” Gabe called out, earning a laugh from the crowd of mares.

Minutes later found the five of us on the grass off of the track, forcing ourselves to stand straight and take slow, steady breaths.

“Nice work. During the next session we have, I think we’ll be hitting the weights, so be prepared for that. Now, I’ll let Platinum have some time to talk with each of you.” She lowered her voice as she continued. “I know Silky said this to you already, but I want you all to be upfront and honest with Platinum Corona…” Her eyes rested on me in particular as she continued. “Don’t get used to this, but I do have pride in you boys. I’d hate to see any of you get let go because of something that becomes an issue later on. Ask her questions, and answer any she has to the best of your abilities. That’s all I ask.” She waved a hoof. “Dismissed.”

We were given fifteen minutes to clean up, and then asked by Silky to wait in one of the back lobbies as Platinum conversed with us individually.

“How long will these interviews take?” I had asked Silky as we all took our seats and relaxed. Alex had been the first to be called by Platinum, so that left Martin and Gabe playing a game of what looked like crazy eights while Arnold whipped out his smartphone and begun puttering around on it.

Silky could only shrug her shoulders and give me a small smile. “I’d tell you if I could. Could be minutes, could be an hour.

“I wouldn’t worry too much, Darren,” said Five Stars, who had taken a seat beside Silky on one of the couches. “Platinum’s done this for a while. She’s not going to put you through Tartarus with the interview. I’ve seen these processes… occasionally up close and personal,” her grin turning coy for a moment. “Though for this, I’d guess she won’t be as focused on assessing individual performance so much as simply getting to know you boys.”

I quirked an eyebrow and gave her an amused look. “Assessing individual performance, huh?”

Five Stars waggled her eyebrows. “I could help you with that later, if you want. Oh hush, Silky, I’m just teasing… sort of.” She returned her attention to me and continued as Silky let out an annoyed snort. “But yes, it sounds like she’s more concerned with just getting to know you boys. Platinum’s going to be keeping an eye on Hoofington for a few months while you’re all finding your bearings.”

Fair enough. I guess I couldn’t be too upset. I actually liked the fact that this place took its employees’ issues and concerns so seriously. Though, I suppose, given the nature of the business, it sort of had to.

I picked up a magazine that was lying on the coffee table, arching an eyebrow as I looked at the cover. The picture was of some scenery in Manehatten, a park from the looks of it. The issue was from this past April, so it wasn’t too dated, but still a few months old. On the bottom corner I read the words, ‘Five Star Service- Las Pegasi’.

I looked up from the cover and noticed Five Stars was watching me intently. Not with the usual playful smirk that I had come to associate with her in the short time I had gotten to know her, but a look of interest.

“Ah…” She let a smile cross her features. “Looks like you have all of the issues, huh, Silky?”

Silky nodded in reply to Five Stars. “I figured it would make sense to have an issue or two around here.”

I tapped at the magazine cover. “How many of your articles have you published so far?”

“Including the Q&A articles…?” Five Stars thought it over for a moment, then replied, “About eighteen, I believe.”

I set the magazine down, and looked the pile. Sure enough, more of the magazines advertised Five Stars’ articles. The magazine itself was one I had seen plenty of in my time in Equestria; The Manehatten Post. Heck, one of the articles even had a small picture of her one the page as I flipped through it. It was dated from February of this year. The earliest one I found was from late January.

“I’d recommend starting on that one,” Silky said, pointing at the January issue. “You’ll be lost otherwise.”

Made sense, I suppose. Nodding, I flipped open the magazine and began to read.

Time had passed me by relatively quickly as I read through the stories of Five Stars. I was a little relieved that Five Stars didn’t bother me with any questions on what I thought about the articles. I understand the aim of her writing but… it was still a bit embarrassing to talk to somepony about their sex life after reading about it.

By the time I got into an issue that told of two pegasus stallions she was courting, everyone but myself had been called in to talk with Platinum Corona. Silky and Five Stars had seen to it to keep me company while the other guys had been excused early so that they could have individual lessons with their instructors or head home.

“Darren?”

I looked up from the magazine to see Platinum watching me from outside the room she was interviewing everyone in. She had a small smile on her lips, and nodded to the magazine. “What do you think so far of the articles?”

“O-oh, well,” I looked over to Five Stars and Silky, who had paused their game of what looked like some kind of alternative to slapjack for ponies. “I’m actually surprised. I gotta hand it to you, Five Stars, you got some real cojones; writing these and submitting them is admirable… and a tad risque, but who am I to judge?” I laughed when she gave me a small, grateful nod.

“Mm,” Platinum nodded to the room behind her. “If you would, I’d like to talk for a bit.” Without another word, she gracefully moved back into the office, leaving the door open a bit.

While I knew I had nothing to worry about, I couldn’t help but feel a touch nervous. “Should… should I be prepared for anything in particular?”

Silky let out a snort of laughter and shook her head. “She won’t bite, Darren,” she whispered. “Go on, now. We’ll be here.”

I set down the magazine, only to pause and double check the page number I had been on. I’d have to continue reading it later when I had time. “Wish me luck,” I said as I got up from my chair.

“Let us know if things get interesting so we can join in the fun,” Five Stars called out, eliciting a giggle from Silky followed by a half-hearted scolding from the pegasus.

I opened the door, surprised by how dark it was. There was a lovely smell in the air… vanilla and cinnamon, I think. It was relaxing, whatever it was. It was probably from candles burning on a table, which provided some of the light for the otherwise unlit room.

“I hope you don’t mind; I find the dim lighting helps alleviate some of the anxiety during these interviews,” Platinum said. A faint glow of her horn brought forth a long matchstick, which lit a small row of candles on the desk beside her. She herself had taken a spot on a chaise lounge, allowing her taller frame to stretch a bit. “Have a seat, Darren.” She nodded to the recliner across from her, and I did as she asked.

“No worries; I actually kind of like the smell of the candles.”

I thought I caught a flicker of a smile on her lips, but the lighting was too dim for me to say for certain. “Then I’ve done my job well so far.”

I gave her a smile, keeping in mind not to show too much teeth.

“Well, then,” she cleared her throat. “Tell me a bit about yourself…”

End of Chapter Seven

Author's Note

And that's chapter seven! I'm sure a few of you who have read other stories within the Gentleman for Mares series are familiar with the two characters I introduced. I had been planning on them showing up for some time now, and I'm glad I finally got to this point in publishing.

I owe thanks for pre-reading this chapter to Firesight and AJ Aficionado, and thanks to Demon Eyes Laharl for his input on various aspects and ideas that I used in this chapter back when this story was still in the works. I'd also like to thank all of you wonderful readers who have helped me by finding errors and giving me your feedback. It helps a lot to hear your thoughts; regardless of whether you're a professional or amateur writer, reader feedback is our lifeblood when it comes to this stuff.

That's about it for now. Thanks for giving this a read, and please let me know what you think. Until next time, keep on keeping on, people!

The Mare Behind the Mask - Part Two

Gentleman in Training

by Denim_Blue

Chapter Eight: The Mare Behind the Mask- Part Two

Platinum Corona lifted a glass of water with her magic as she looked to me expectantly. I’m assuming it was an expectant expression, since I couldn’t very well see behind that ballroom mask of hers, aside from her mouth.

“Where… where do you want me to start?” I asked. “That’s a pretty general question, if you don’t mind me saying. Asking me to tell you a bit about myself could very well take a few hours…” I gave her a lopsided grin. “Is there anything in particular you are interested in?”

“You can probably save the reasons why you joined us for later,” Platinum replied as she took a sip of her water. “Silky gave me your portfolio and I’ve read over it a bit.” She set down the glass on a coaster as she continued. “How about your reasons for coming to Equestria? Silky mentioned you came here to study the Everfree Forest’s wildlife. Is that true?”

“Ah,” I leaned into the chair a bit, getting comfortable as I collected my thoughts. “Well, to be honest, I really just wanted to see what your world is like. I mean, the chances of having a perfectly hospitable environment on a planet is insane. I mean, they’re still finding other possible planets that could host life, but to encounter a planet with life like that on Earth?” I shook my head. “It’s been… what, almost a decade since our worlds made contact?” Platinum nodded. “The scientific community is still baffled by just how crazy the odds were of that portal leading to a world with environments similar to Earth’s. I hate to imagine what would have happened if Princess Twilight’s planet had a different atmosphere than Earth’s. She and that Rainbow Dash could have died. I’m no physicist or expert on interdimensional portals, but I imagine some bad stuff could have happened for both our planets.”

“Yes,” Platinum frowned a bit. “Princess Twilight is a brilliant mare, I will not argue that. Though, I’ve heard that she… gets a bit carried away with her research when she’s on the brink of discovering something. Oddly enough, the Neo Equinenox incident was a fluke. She just happened to make a stable portal while working on a teleportation spell of sorts, and your scientists and our own have managed to keep it stable for all these years.”

“Exactly. Our species can interact with almost no harmful side effects, aside from possible allergies.” I waved a hand. “Sorry, as I was saying, when I was offered the chance to work on a project that studied life that’s similar to Earth’s but still very different… well, what choice did I have?”

The candle glow let me see a smile cross Platinum’s face. She gave me an understanding nod as she hummed in agreement. “I always admire those who have a passion for what they do. I take it you also have a passion for social interaction between different cultures?”

“To a slightly lesser extent, yeah, I guess you could say that. I’m learning stuff about Equestria every day, and while I still love Earth… I would like to stay here for a bit longer… maybe even longer than that.” I shrugged. “There’s… I don’t want to call it an innocence, but maybe there’s a purity to this land that you don’t see so much of on Earth. Not to say that Earth is lesser of a planet, far from it. Earth has some of the most beautiful scenery you could hope to find, and there’s so much it still has to show us.”

“Humanity is indeed a race that’s not content with the status quo when it comes to discovering things.” Platinum let out a soft giggle. “You’re an intriguing man, Darren.”

I laughed and shook my head. “That’s nice of you to say, but I’m far from the most brilliant mind when it comes to the world of science.”

“Well, regardless of what you might think, I can see what Silky saw in you.”

Platinum poured me a glass of water and offered it to me. As I took a long swig, I could feel her studying me. She watched my movements with a silent yet intense curiosity.

“So, you’re in a relationship with another mare, correct?”

I nodded.

“How is that going for you?”

I smiled. “Wonderfully. Full Bloom—that’s her name—is awesome, smart, and she’s open-minded. She’s a little nerdy at times, but gorgeous and not afraid to speak her mind. It’s kind of scary how comfortable I am around her when we’ve only been dating for less than a month.”

“I can imagine,” Platinum chuckled. “She sounds nice, though. Did you have any issues when you first became a couple?”

Part of me pondered on whether these personal questions were really relevant to my work, but I honestly didn’t mind talking to Platinum about this. She sounded genuinely interested, and not just trying to cross examine me and my qualifications.

“Would you believe me if I said that I never gave it too much thought? Honestly, she asked if I wanted to date her, and I said yes after a moment of thought.” I shrugged. “She was interested in me, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel the same after our little night out together.”

“I’m happy to hear that, Darren. I wish the best for you and your marefriend.”

“Thanks.” I stretched a bit and rolled my shoulders.

“If you don’t mind me asking more personal questions… what things do you look for in a special somepony… or significant other, if we’re going to generalize?” Platinum asked softly.

I grinned. “Is this your way of asking what kind of clients I’d be compatible with?”

Platinum shook her head a little. “No, not necessarily. A Gentleman is expected to be flexible, and that includes who he’s tending to. However… it does help us know if you have any particular skills that you can offer us.”

“Skills? We haven’t really covered anything like that yet. I’m supposed to be having my first ‘date’ with Ambrosia next—”

“I realize that,” Platinum said, gently cutting me off with a raised hoof. “Just give me some ideas. A list of thing that might you find interesting.”

“Are… are you asking me what turns me on?”

“In a roundabout way, yes, you could say that.”

I took a long sip of my water. “Excuse me for being frank, but you have no shame, do you?”

That got a laugh out of her. “I’ve been called a task master, a sadist, a deviant, a pervert, and many other things of varying implications. I’m beyond being flustered by sexual preferences and interests, Darren. I’m not here to judge, trust me when I say this.”

I cleared my throat, and said softly. “Who… who will be privy to this?”

“Only those who need to know, and I promise you that Silky will not judge either. She’s an educated mare, and understands that we all have our own likes and dislikes.”

“Okay…” I set down my glass. “I guess I like a girl—or mare, as it were—who’s strong-willed. Someone who has a love for learning for the sake of merely knowing and understanding. Not just the natural sciences, either. Music, history, literature… I like someone who’s got brains but a playful side to them. I had a girlfriend who was all that, and even though we’re not dating anymore, we’re still both good friends.”

“Mm, I don’t think you’d have much trouble finding a passionate mare in Equestria.” She cocked her head to the side a bit. “Care to elaborate more?”

“Well, let’s see. I guess I’m not afraid of someone who’s a bit of a dominant type.”

“Oh?”

“Not necessarily going into the whole BDSM stuff, though I suppose I wouldn’t knock it before trying it, depending on the mare. I’d have to trust that person or pony.”

“Of course,” Platinum said with a smile. She produced a clipboard with a flash of magic, and began to jot things down on a sheet of paper. “Do you mind if I take notes?”

I shook my head. "Not at all, go ahead." Then, I continued, “But, yeah, intelligence with looks is a major thing for me. It’s part of why I think I fell for Full Bloom so easily. She’s a botanist, and I have yet to meet a person or pony with more knowledge on the Everfree’s plant life than her.”

Platinum nodded. “So, brains are a must.”

“Not… not a must, but it helps when I would have a conversation. Not necessarily a scientific background, but I guess someone who’s got an education, or at the very least isn’t close-minded.”

“What do you think you could offer to our clients, Darren? I can say with confidence that you’ll meet mares that fit your preferences, but what about yourself? What do you think will set you aside from the others?”

“I’ve got experience, for starters. Probably not as much as some of the other guys who started working for you, but I’m not going in without any idea of what to do.”

“Yes, but that is to be expected with our Gentleman by the time they start,” Platinum replied. “Think for a moment; what makes you different? If I were to advertise your name to our clientele, what would you ask me to say?”

I pondered that for a moment. “Does it have to involve just sex?”

“No, but feel free to tell me about that, too.”

“Alright,” I exhaled. “I’m a lover of nature. I’m not afraid of getting a bit of dirt on my knees, and I love cracking jokes, most of them corny but still worth a laugh. Mares with a love for fantasy and fictional novels would get along well with me, too. I’m trying to familiarize myself with Equestrian literature and I have to say, I find the reversal of gender roles interesting.”

“How so?” Platinum asked, setting down her clipboard.

“It’s… it’s just cool, reading about some valiant mare who’s on a quest to save a stallion. A strong female protagonist is always cool. I grew up most of my life not really being exposed to many heroines, so I’ve come to appreciate stories that do a female lead justice without trying to make it seem like a big deal in the first place.”

“Hm…” Platinum lifted up her clipboard, and jotted something down before nodding for me to continue. That mysterious smile on her lips left me pondering what had her so amused, but before I could ponder over it, she continued. “What else?”

“I’ve been told by Pizzelle and my marefriend that I’m good at preening and brushing.”

“There we go,” Platinum nodded. “The details are what we like to know about. You’d be surprised how many mares like to be pampered and have personal attention given to them. Sometimes it’s nice just to feel like you’re special.”

“I’m still working out the technical stuff, but Pizzelle will work with me on it, and I’ll have plenty of opportunities to work on my grooming, too.”

“Yes, Pizzelle. You lucked out on getting her as an instructor.”

I chuckled. “I’ve enjoyed my time with her so far. If I’m going to be honest, I sort of like that tough love act she’s got going for her. She’s strong, and she knows it, and she not afraid to take control of things.” I shrugged as Platinum gave me an amused smile. “It’s sexy.”

“I see… so you like a mare who’s not afraid to be in control, hm?”

I watched her as she jotted something down on the clipboard. I quirked an eyebrow, but she waved a hoof, urging me to continue.

“So, yeah. I suppose clients who have a love for nature, outdoors, fictional works, and… well, nerdy things, I guess… that’d definitely fit into my niche. Though, I’m just as welcoming of anyone who’s willing to try things out. The personality is the main factor for me.”

“As it should be.” Platinum lifted her glass and took a long sip. “So… in your experience, would you say that there are particular physical traits that you find most attractive when you look at a mare?”

“Traits? You mean like, ears, flanks, and such?” She nodded. “I… don’t really have any preferences, I guess. I mean, sometimes things stand out a bit to me, but it’s not like a lack of something means I find a mare or woman unattractive.”

“Could you tell me about anything that stands out to you, then, when you meet a mare?”

“...this isn’t one of those loaded questions that’s implying I’m shallow, is it? Because I’m—”

“Darren, I can assure you, this is an honest question. For what it’s worth, I like stallions with large chests, strong necks, and soft eyes, and I’m not ashamed to admit that it’s one of the first things I look at when I meet a stallion.” Platinum gestured to me with a hoof. “It’s equine nature, and human nature as well. You shouldn’t be ashamed of it.”

“I… may have a bit of a thing for muscular legs… still trying to figure out a few things about you mares, but… strong legs are a plus with me.”

“There we go,” Platinum replied with an encouraging nod. “Go on.”

“Well, I suppose I could blame Pizzelle, but that athletic look is kind of hot, you know? The strong flight muscles, the barrels, and the chest area by the shoulders… don’t… don’t tell Pizzelle this, but she’s definitely got a nice body to her.”

“I daresay she’d like to hear that,” Platinum said with a giggle.

“Yeah, but she’d probably make me run laps and do power sets for hours if she heard I said it.”

“She can be a touch temperamental, I suppose. You still seem to enjoy having her as your teacher.”

“Of course I do. She does care, she’s shown that much. That doesn’t mean she’s not going to push me to improve, which I will admit is something that I can always stand to do more of. Complacency leads to stagnation, some would say.” I cleared my throat. “Sorry, going off topic a bit. But yeah, a mare with a build like Pizzelle’s is attractive in my eyes. Though, Full Bloom’s a very attractive mare as well, and she’s nothing like Pizzelle.”

Platinum jotted down some more notes on another sheet of paper, then looked up. “So… wings, musculature… anything else that strikes your fancy? What about Full Bloom?”

“Well, at first I didn’t think much of it, but I blame you ponies for my appreciation of the neck area.”

“Ahh,” Platinum nodded in understanding, amusement in her voice as she made a quick note. “Fallen to the wiles of us mares, have you? I take it your marefriend has an attractive neck, then?”

“Yeah, Full Bloom’s really opened my eyes up to that area. She’s got very beautiful eyes, too. Actually, most ponies seem to have very attractive eyes, in my opinion.”

“What about them?”

I waved a hand, trying to find my words. “They’re… expressive. Equestrian eyes are larger than humans, but still so similar to human eyes. That and they’re a lot more colorful than human eyes. Violet, orange, green, yellow, red… they’re as colorful as your coats.”

“I could say that humans have a wide variety of eye colors, too.”

“Not to the same degree that ponies have. Humans aren’t the most vibrant of creatures when it comes to coloration. We’re varied, sure, but within a more limited spectrum of color, I guess. That’s why we wear clothing, along with other reasons.”

Platinum gave a nod of understanding. “You make a fair point, Darren. So, colors and eyes are attractive to you?”

“Yes, but, again—”

“Personality is the main factor?” Platinum asked, her smile growing a bit.

“Y-yeah.”

She said nothing for a few moments, instead returning to her clipboard as she wrote down a few lines of notes on her paper. When her pen clicked and she set down the clipboard once more, she nodded. “That’s enough of the question and answer session, don’t you think?” She tilted her head, just enough to show her neck.

Oh, now she’s doing it on purpose. Haha, you got me good, Platinum.

“Alright,” I said with a nonchalant shrug.

“From what I gather, you’re a very sensitive young man, Darren. We have plenty of Gentlemen like that, but your love for sciences and learning are definitely a unique thing to offer.” She cleared her throat, then added in a softer tone. “You’ve avoided talking too much about your sexual experience, but I have a feeling that such a thing is personal to you.”

I nodded.

“That’s nothing to be ashamed of. Just know that you’ll have clients who will expect sex at some point. The key to you making it enjoyable for both you and your client is finding a way to bond with them during your time with them. You strike me as a person who is all about forming ties with someone he shares such an intimate moment with, even if it’s fleeting.” She sighed softly. “I’d go as far as to say you’re a bit of a romantic, minus the suave charm.”

“Hey, I can be charming,” I countered, perhaps sounding a tad more offended than I was.

“I have no doubt, Darren. What I mean to say is that you’re more… subtle. Perhaps… hm, you’re not like Mr. Einsworth. You don’t openly hit on every pretty face you see.”

“Gabe doesn’t do that, either. He can be a bit of a flirt, but he’s a good, honest man.” I folded my arms, only to pause and sigh. “S-sorry. I… Gabe’s taken a lot of crap for that kind of stuff, and he earned a bit of a reputation among women that doesn't paint him him in the best of ways..”

“Forgive me,” Platinum said, her ears falling back a bit. “I didn’t mean it that way. I found Gabe’s personality enjoyable, if not a touch…”

“Grating?” I offered.

To Platinum’s credit, she shook her head and chuckled. “No, no, perhaps ‘shameless’ is a better word, or simply flirtatious. I can tell he doesn’t mean anything other than to flatter with his words, but they still have an affect on a mare.”

“... what did he say to you?”

“Nothing too crass, I assure you. He was every bit a Gentleman when I spoke to him.” She studied me as I let out a sigh. “You seem to care greatly for Gabe. I take it you and him are good friends?”

“Yeah, Gabe and Alex are close friends of mine, along with another friend that used to work at the same place as me. Full Bloom’s a part of that circle too, now.” I smiled. “But yeah, I try to keep an eye on Gabe. He’s a good man, but he can get himself into dumb situations.”

“It’s good that you three have each other. I sometimes wish more of our Gentleman had such close ties with one another, especially with how things have been as of late.” Platinum exhaled deeply. “A fair amount of you already have dealt with enough as it is before you came to Equestria.”

“That’s probably why a lot of us decided to come to Equestria in the first place; to seek out a fresh start.”

Platinum paused at that. She looked at a clock on the wall, its face barely visible in the soft candlelight.

“Time’s up?” I asked, giving her a soft grin when she looked to me.

“No, no. I just… it’s amazing how time passes by when you’re talking with someone.”

I chanced a peek at the clock, only to do a double take as I read the time. “It’s already four thirty? Huh…you’re weren’t joking, Platinum.”

“I hope I’m not keeping you from anything,” she said, her tone growing a touch concerned. “I’ll be here tomorrow if you wish to speak to me more.”

“Well, my brother and a friend from the Gryphon Kingdom should be arriving later today, but I still have some time.”

Platinum’s posture straightened, and her voice took on a lighter. “That’s right, Silky mentioned you have family here on Tellus. He’s… your older brother, yes?”

“Yeah, he’s four years older than me, and he was over in the Gryphon Kingdom until recently.”

“Mind if I ask why he’s over there?”

My smile widened a bit as thoughts turned to my brother. “Riley is a Navy Corpsman and was serving with a group of marines during the Cloven attacks. I… a part of me may have come to Equestria so I could be a bit closer to him, I guess.”

“You two sound close,” Platinum noted fondly.

“We are, though we used to get into the nastiest fights growing up. He won most of them, of course, but as we got older he started to pick on me less. Eventually, he started watching out for me in school, and always gave me advice, even if I didn’t want it.” I sighed. “I never really was as good at sports as him, but I was better in classes. He always joked and said he got the brawn while I got the brains as far as genes go.”

“I’m happy to hear you’ll be able to see him again.”

“Yeah. It’s been a long time since I got to see him face to face. He’s been helping train griffin medics, and… for a while he wasn’t returning any letters I sent from across the portal when I was still on Earth. I was worried that he might have gotten killed in the fighting with the Cloven. Turns out he was just so caught up with helping the injured and staying alive out there that it slipped his mind for a while.” I laughed. “The knucklehead sent me a long apology letter and promised that he’d make it up to me when we see each other next. I guess that today he’ll have a chance to do that.”

“That’s wonderful, Darren.” She gracefully got up from her seat and gave a nod while picking up her clipboard in her magic. “Well, I think we had a nice chat, don’t you?”

“Y-you’re sure? I mean, I’ve got plenty of time before Riley’s train arrives. It was running late, the last I heard.”

“I think I got plenty of information on you. Besides, we’ll be seeing each other a bit more over the next few days.”

“Well, you’re the boss,” I said with a shrug.

“It’s been nice speaking with you,” Platinum said, holding out a hoof.

Wait, she’s not… I arched an eyebrow as I took her hoof in my hand. I paused for a moment, but let a grin spread across my face as she tilted her head at me expectantly.

“It has been a pleasure,” I said in a soft voice. I placed my thumb gently over the top of her hoof and gently caressed it.

She seemed amused by this. “Five Stars was right; you take the Noble Greeting far too serious for a fresh recruit.”

“Hey, if I’m going to be kissing hooves, then I plan on following through with what that implies, Miss Corona.” I gave her a wink as I gently let go of her hoof. “I’m not the kind of person to tease a mare with empty promises. It’d be rude of me if I had done so.”

“If you say so,” she chuckled. “Your marefriend is lucky to have such a charming male such as yourself.”

“Oh, so now I’m charming?” I joked, earning another giggle from her.

We walked out of the room, only to be greeted by an empty lobby. Five Stars and Silky were nowhere to be seen.

“That’s… hm, now where did those two…” Platinum stopped midsentence as her gaze darted to a direction to our right, leading towards the front portion of the building. Without a word, she briskly made her way down the hall, leaving me to try and catch up with her.

I didn’t need to ask what the problem was, for a moment or two later I could hear the distinct sound of crying. Alarm bells began going off in my head, and I began to pick up my pace, settling for a jog as Platinum continued towards the front lobby of the building.

We made our way through the door leading into the front lobby, and I immediately noticed five familiar faces. A sobbing Silver Spanner was sitting on a couch, leaning against Silky while Five Stars sat on Spanner’s other side. Alex and Sugar Sweet sat off to the side a little while remaining close to provide the distraught mare comfort if needed.

Five Stars was gently rubbing a hoof across Silver Spanner’s back. “I’m so sorry, Spanner. That’s…” She shook her head. “I don’t mean to sound insensitive, but you’re better off without those two jerks.”

“M-maybe…” Silver Spanner said with a weak stammer. “Still… I guess since we had planned on forming a herd, it makes some sense to—”

“Stop right there,” Silky said in a gentle tone. “What they said to you was thoughtless and far from right. Gear Grinder, or whatever his name is, had no right to go and kick you out without apology. The fact that Drizzle Drops wouldn’t even speak up for you says just as much.”

“But… Silky, they—”

“Is… something wrong?” Platinum asked, shaking the three from their thoughts.

Silky took note of the two of us, and frowned. “O-oh, Platinum…” She noticed Silver Spanner’s eyes widening with what almost looked to be fear, and pulled her close. “Spanner, come on, you don’t have to be afraid.”

“I-I know, it’s just… I’m an instructor, and…”

“And what happened doesn’t change the fact that you are still a beautiful mare who deserves to be just as happy as the next mare,” Silky stated.

“I-I… I can’t have any foals, though, so—” Spanner weakly protested.

“Spanner, repeat after me,” Silky began, her tone growing a little more firm, yet remaining gentle.

“Silky…”

“Repeat after me, ‘I am Silver Spanner.’”

“...I-I am Silver Spanner.”

“Good…” Silky continued. “‘I am a wonderful, loving mare, and I deserve to be happy’. Go on…”

“I am… a wonderful, loving mare, and I… I deserve to be happy.”

Silky kept her gaze locked with Silver Spanner as she draped a wing over her back. “Don’t forget that, okay? Never forget that. You are a beautiful pony, and any stallion, mare, human, griffin, or anyone else for that matter, would be lucky to have you.”

Silver’s gaze dropped to the floor. “I won’t forget…”

“She’s right, Spanner…” Five Stars said, drawing the unicorn’s attention to her. “Take it from somepony who’s dealt with depression when I say that there’s always hope and a brighter tomorrow to look towards. You just have to pick yourself up and believe that you are worth it… and it helps to have good friends, like Silky, for instance.” She smiled as Spanner gave a wet sniffle. “Alex and Sugar Sweet care about you… Silky and the girls here care about you. I care about you. Heck, even Big Pink over there cares about you.” She gave a nod to Platinum.

“Big… Pink…?” Platinum echoed, earning a chuckle from the group, Silver Spanner included.

“Oi, I care, too,” I said quietly. Spanner looked up and gave me a teary smile.

“Thanks, Darren,” she said with a weak laugh.

“See?” Five Stars chuckled as Spanner let the smile grow on her lips. “You’re not alone here. We’ll be here to help you however we can, and I think I speak for Silky and everyone here when I say we’d hate to see you leave because of something that a bunch of insensitive plotheads said to you. Believe me; moving away won’t solve this. You have to hold your head high and stand your ground.”

Spanner nodded. “You’re right.”

“It’s their loss, Spanner,” Silky continued. “You’re talented with repairing just about anything, given enough time, and you’re gorgeous. Hey, I mean it, don’t go snorting at that. Or did you forget how quick I was to recruit you when you came in for an interview?”

“That interview took only five minutes, tops,” Spanner chuckled.

“There, see?” Silky gave her a soft smile. “Now, I’m not saying you don’t have any reason to be upset, because you do, but you can’t let this break you. Alex and Sugar were quick to help find a place to keep your belongings safe, and Sugar’s even given you a place to stay. You’re in good hooves.”

Platinum decided to approach the group at that point. “Silver Spanner… please, tell me what’s wrong. What happened?”

I listened as Spanner told of her recent discovery of being barren at her mandatory physical, followed by her two herdmates’ reactions and more or less ousting her from their home. I couldn’t see her expression that well, but judging by the way her tail flicked rapidly and the way her ears pressed against her head a bit, Platinum didn’t seem pleased to hear about Spanner’s situation.

“I see…” Platinum’s tone softened. “I wish you had told me of this sooner, Silver Spanner.”

“I… I didn’t come in until about an hour ago. Sorry…”

“That’s fine. I just wish I had known about this so I could talk to you about it.” Platinum lowered her head a bit and wrapped a foreleg around the mare, who returned the embrace after a moment of surprise passed. “Five Stars and Silky speak the truth though. Nopony deserves to be tossed aside like that. A herd is more than just a means of bringing foals into this world, and it angers me to know that some don’t see that.” She separated from Silver Spanner after a final, gentle squeeze before pulling away. “Do you need some time off?”

“No, no, I… I think it’d be best if I try to keep myself busy for now.” She fidgeted a bit, then said. “I was thinking of maybe starting a support group for others in my situation. It… maybe that will help other mares, too, like me? I don’t know, I mean, there has got to be some clients or staff members who are going through this as well.” Spanner wiped away some tears. “I… I think… maybe with time, I could find a way to reach out to them.”

“Spanner…” Silky said, her smile growing as she wrapped both forelegs around the mare. “See? What’d I say? You’re such a loving mare.”

“That’s very noble of you, Silver Spanner,” Platinum said with a smile. “I can help you go about spreading word and helping set it up whenever you wish”

“Not just for mares, but eaglesses, jennies, zebra mares, and even women, maybe,” Spanner added. “Heck, even stallions and other males could help. Married couples go through this stuff too, eventually.”

Platinum nodded. “Again, that’s a noble thing to do, and I support that idea. Just get in touch with me whenever you wish to start going about setting up things, and I’ll do what I can.”

Eventually, I bid the group farewell and made my way through town towards the Hoofington train station. By the time I had found a bench to sit on, it was going onto a quarter after five. I didn’t actually know for sure when I told Platinum that the train was running late, but experience told me it would be. The Friendship Express afternoon train always arrived late to Hoofington. Whether it was something about bad weather management in Las Pegasus, some rails needing repairs out west, or something weird happening in Ponyville, the trains coming to Hoofington in the afternoon were always an hour or so behind.

So, it was no surprise when I heard a whistle in the distance after twenty minutes more of waiting. I let out a sigh of relief; I wasn’t sure how much more I could take of hearing the old mares next to me natter on about their grandcolts who were going to Canterlot for school.

I stood up from my seat, only for my phone to chime, indicating I had gotten a text. Such things were rare, even with the hardware I had installed to keep magic interference to a low level with the electronics. I swiped the screen and read one line of text.

Brother! It’s been too long!

I groaned while fighting back a smile and shaking my head. Only Riley would greet me with obscure video game references after not seeing me for a few years.

The train let out a loud hiss of steam and came to a gradual stop. I kept an eye out for my brother as the passenger cars opened up. Dozens of ponies stepped out of the train, along with a fair number of griffins and even a few humans. I was starting to grow worried when most of the passengers had gotten off the train. Had Riley’s text had been delayed? Did he send it earlier today, and some magical interference had affected its delivery?

My worries disappeared when I watched as a man a few inches taller than me stepped off the train, followed by a griffin eagless. Both had large duffle bags on their backs that were clearly military issued.

I raised a hand and waved to the two. The man noticed me first, and his lips split into a wide grin.

I walked towards him, only to be pulled into a bearhug and then promptly put into a playful headlock. “Goddamn, Darren, look at you!” He laughed. “Did you slim down on me while I was away?”

I sighed and let out a laugh of my own as I managed to free myself. “Nice to see you two, bastard.”

“It’s not an insult if it’s technically true,” he shot back with a smug grin.

The two of us stared each other down for a few seconds, then let out snorts of laughter as we embraced in a brotherly hug.

“How are you, Riley?”

“I can’t complain,” he answered, releasing me from his arms and taking a few steps back.

Riley took after my mother in looks. He had dark auburn hair and hazel-green eyes, a clear indicator of our family’s Celtic heritage back on Earth. He was clean shaven right now, but I guarantee that he’d let his beard grow back the first chance he got. He was as built as any member of the U.S. military would be. There was, however, one feature on him that I didn’t remember being there before.

“Where the hell did you get that scar?” I asked, pointing to his cheek.

“Huh?” Riley blinked, only to laugh. “Oh, this, well… uh, it was…”

“Riley got that while sparring one of the griffins at the camp we were staying at,” answered the eagless, who stepped forward.

I looked from her to my brother. “You were sparring with a griffin?”

“Y-yeah. I may have shot my mouth off a bit.” He cleared his throat, and shrugged his shoulders. “I did win the spar, though, for what it’s worth.”

“If it had been to first blood you’d have lost within the first thirty seconds, Riley,” the eagless snarked. She turned her gaze back to me and nodded. “You’re Darren, huh?”

“Yep, that’d be me.”

Her gaze softened a touch. “Riley here talked about you all the time. Says you’d love it in the Kingdom.”

“I’ve heard some stories about your country. Lots of farmlands, mountains, and cool cities built into cliffs.” I grinned. “I’m ashamed to admit I’ve missed a few chances to visit, but I’d like to see Gryphon some day.”

She chuckled. “Riley says Arnau reminds him of this Minas Tirith place or whatever. Apparently that’s what a lot of you humans compare it to.”

Riley snickered as he looked to me while thumbing to the griffin eagless. “Darren, this is Mildred. I believe I told you about her in that email I sent.”

I studied the eagless while bumping my fist with her closed claw in greeting. She was a fairly lithe creature, a feature not all that uncommon to griffins. She had a dark gray-blue furred coat covering her body. The feathers covering her wings and head were a lighter shade gray-blue with a dusting of white along her eyes. She had a crest of snow white running along the ridge above her amber-red eyes. In a few ways, she reminded me of the Northern Goshawks that could be found in the northern hemisphere back on Earth.

All in all, she struck an imposing, if not also graceful, figure. Though, the fact that she looked to be puffing out her chest a tad may have contributed to that.

“She’s saved my ass a few times in the past. Apparently, my CO thought it was a good idea for her to go with me on leave. Probably thought she’d keep me out of trouble or something,” Riley said with a smirk.

Mildred decided at that point to nudge him with a staff she had tied around her back. It was made of well-polished wood of some sort, and had a crystal embedded into it at the end.

“Hey,” she said in a mock-warning tone. “Don’t think I won’t use this on you if I have to.”

“Oh no, what are you going to do, summon a pleasant breeze on me?” He snorted as she smacked him on the shoulder with her staff. “Alright, alright, sorry, sorry. No need to be so defensive, Milly.”

“I told you not to call me that, Riley!” she hissed, though she didn’t seem too upset. She was trying to fight back a smile, after all. “Is he like this with everyone?” She asked, casting me an exasperated look.

“If it’ll help, I can give you advice on ways to make him shut up,” I suggested.

Mildred’s eyes took on a impish gleam. “Really?”

“Darren, that’s not cool,” Riley said, his laughter dying down. “Seriously, don’t tell her that.”

“No, no, go on, Darren,” Mildred urged.

I just laughed and gestured for them to follow me. “C’mon, let’s head to my place. With any luck, Full Bloom is there so you can meet her.”

Riley paused. “Full Bloom?”

Shit, okay, didn’t think that through, did I? I smiled. “Y-yeah, she’s…” I cleared my throat. “She’s my marefriend…”

Okay, admittedly, while I wasn’t ashamed of my relationship with Full Bloom, I held Riley’s opinion in very high regard. If he didn’t like the idea of me seeing a mare, that was going to cause problems for me. I wouldn’t be breaking up with Full Bloom for such a reason, but… I’d much rather my brother get along with her.

Riley, for his part, just nodded and smiled. “Cool! She cute?”

“Uh…”

That’s what you get for doubting your brother, Darren.

I gave him a nod. “Yeah, I’d say so. She’s a field researcher for Ecosystems for Equestria. Really smart, and really fun to hang out with once you get to know her. Though, she can get a bit high strung while she’s working. She tends to become hyper-focused on whatever she’s researching, usually to the point where she skips breakfast, lunch, and dinner.”

Mildred snickered, “Sounds about right for a pony.”

“Mildred,” Riley said in a warning tone.

“What?” She met his frown with a smirk. “Come on, you know I’m joking. Heck, my family raised me in Equestria. I’m about as equine as you can get for a griffin.” She looked to me and gave me an easy smile. “I wasn’t being too serious. Still, I have a few pony friends of my own. I’m sure you can agree when I say they can be a little crazy at times.”

“Very true,” I laughed. “Anyway, it’s nice to meet you, Mildred. Thanks for keeping my brother alive.”

“Eh, he’s stitched me up once or twice. We’re about even, I think.”

Riley rolled his eyes and gave me a pat on the shoulder. “Well, should we head into town?”

I gave Riley a clap on the back and nodded. “Sounds good to me.”

The smell of cooking wafted through the doorway as we entered my apartment. I couldn’t help but grin. “Looks like Full Bloom is here after all,” I said softly to my brother and Mildred. I cleared my throat, and called into the apartment. “Full Bloom? Hey, I’m home! We got visitors!”

The sound of something clattering against a pot was heard, followed by hooves clopping against linoleum. Full Bloom’s green eyes peeked out from around the corner, lighting up as she saw the two behind me. “Oh, hey, Darren!” She trotted out from the kitchen and gave me an affectionate peck on the cheek as I knelt down to her level. “Hope you like eggplant marinara. I’ve been wanting to try it for months, and I finally found some eggplants down at the market when I was coming back from work.”

“That sounds delicious,” I replied, running a hand through her curly locks of cornflower blue hair.

I was startled from my affectionate ministrations by Riley clearing his throat softly. Full Bloom and I both pulled away from each other and gave him and Mildred apologetic smiles.

“Sorry,” I mumbled. Riley just waved it off with a chuckle while Mildred let a soft smile play at her features. “Right, uh, Full Bloom, this is my brother Riley and his friend Mildred.” I nodded to the two. “Mildred, Riley, this is my marefriend, Full Bloom.”

Full Bloom didn’t seem the least bit apprehensive by Riley’s size, nor did she appear intimidated by Mildred’s decidedly raptorial looks. “Welcome to Hoofington. Hope you’ll enjoy it here.” She cast me a look as she continued. “Luckily, despite someone forgetting to remind me, I remembered Darren saying last week that you two would be coming into town today, so I had the foresight to make extra food for two more. That is, unless you don’t like eggplant marinara.” She gave Mildred and Riley curious looks. “I can make something else if you want. Darren… I think you had some chicken in the ice box that you bought a few days ago, right?”

“Yeah, it should be good. Might need to thaw it out a bit, though.”

Riley shook his head. “No worries. I’d love to try some of what you’re making. I’m actually not really that picky of an eater, especially after trying Mildred’s cuisine, so I—oof!”

Mildred smacked Riley lightly across the stomach with her staff before strapping it on her back. “I’m fine with what you’re making, too. It smells great. Better than what they serve at the mess halls back at our camp.”

“That’s right, you’re both in the military, aren’t you?” Full Bloom gave her a intrigued grin.

“Yep. I’m a Magus Knight and Riley here is a Corpsman.”

“Cores… min?” Full Bloom repeated. “Um... ”

“Yep, a Navy Corpsman to be specific. A corps is a subdivision of a military branch that usually does some particular kind of work. A Navy Corpsman usually takes care of pharmacy work for others soldiers or people in a military zone as well as doing hospital assistant work. They also serve as medics on the battlefield, working alongside with troops in combat.” I answered.

“A battlefield medic?” Full Bloom’s eyes widened. “Wow… that sounds intense.”

It was subtle, but I noticed Riley’s expression fall a bit. He nodded. “Yeah. It was…” He shook his head and exhaled. “I’m just glad we were able to stop them from getting into Equestria. No offense to your country, but I’m not sure how you all would have held out if the griffies and our military weren’t able to stop those freaks of nature.”

I’d have to talk to him about it later. For now, though, I’d let Riley and Mildred settle in.

“Well, either way, I’m glad to meet the two of you,” Full Bloom said. “I’m just about finished with the cooking. Darren, you want to help me by getting a salad prepared?”

“Mildred and I can set the table,” Riley offered.

“Sure thing. You can set your bags on the couch for now.” I thumbed over to the far side of my living room as I went on. “I still have my futon, too, so one of you can take the couch if you each want your own separate sleeping space.”

A few minutes later I had a decent salad of greens with tomatoes and onions prepared while Riley and Mildred finished setting the table. I tried a few times to taste the sauce from Full Bloom’s cooking, only to have the wooden spoon taken from my fingertips whenever I lifted it to my lips.

“Not until everyone is seated,” Full Bloom would chastise with a wave of the spoon. If she weren’t so skilled with smacking my fingers with said spoon, I would have found the gesture adorable.

As soon as we were all seated, I dug into the food. I’m not a culinary expert, but I remember once reading that eggplant by itself has a bit of a squash-like flavor. Apparently, depending on whether or not you had a male or female eggplant that you were cooking, the taste varied a bit. Even so, the one thing I definitely remember is that eggplants are excellent at absorbing moisture from oil and such. I tried cooking with them a few times, and had some degree of success.

Full Bloom, though?

“Holy shit, this food is amazing, Full Bloom.”

Riley wasn’t the most eloquent of men when it came to expression through words, but he made a fair point: Full Bloom’s cooking was amazing.

“Well, I dabble a bit with cooking from scratch when I can,” she confessed. “I’m a bit out of practice with making marinara sauce, though, so I had to go into town this time. Next time I’ll see if I can make it myself.”

“It’s worlds better than eating MREs and fingerling trout from a creek after two weeks in the wilderness,” Mildred admitted. “Not bad, Full Bloom. I’ll take this over anything I make any day.”

“Thank you,” Full Bloom was sporting a light blush by now.

“Tell you what, tomorrow morning, I’ll make both of you hashbrowns and eggs.” Riley gave me a look. “You… do have potatoes here, right?”

“Yeah,” I gave a nod into the kitchen. “Bottom shelf of the pantry. There’s about a dozen of them. They’re some kind of Equestrian variety that’s a lot like a Russet.”

“Good enough,” Riley said with a smile as he forked in another mouthful of food.

“So, Full Bloom, what about you?” Mildred asked. “You a biologist like Darren over here? He said you work in the field like he does.”

Full Bloom gave me a look, but made no comment on my current line of work. “Well, if you want to be precise, I’m a botanist. I’m currently working as one of Ecosystems for Equestria’s researchers in the identification and classification of plants found in the Everfree Forest.”

“She’s being modest. She’s the best they have, and I’d daresay the best in central Equestria. I think the only pony who knows more about plants than her might be this zebra mare we’ve corresponded with in the past. She lives somewhere near Ponyville.” I smirked. “Full Bloom’s definitely one of the best, though.”

“Darren, please…” Full Bloom whispered in clear embarrassment. “I… well, okay, I might be a bit of a workaholic, but it’s a healthy obsession.”

“Can’t blame you there. What about you, Darren? You still studying the ecological stuff and the wildlife in the Everfree?” Riley asked.

“Um…” I paused, sharing a look with Full Bloom. “Not… really.”

“Oh?” Riley’s eyebrow quirked. “What, you’re not stuck in the labs all the time, now, are you? I know you always complain about being stuck working with samples when you could be outdoors.”

“No, I…” I took a breath, and exhaled. “I was let go by Ecosystems for Equestria less than a month ago, actually. About a week or two ago, almost.”

Riley blinked. “Oh, damn, really?” He frowned. “Why’d they let you go?”

Full Bloom came to my rescue, thankfully. “It was a decision made by the higher-ups, to be honest. Our immediate supervisor, Professor Wild Call, tried to fight the decision. He wasn’t the only one let go, though. Three others, all human, were let go as well.”

“Huh.” Riley’s frown remained.

“Sounds like some underlying bigotry to me,” Mildred grumbled, stabbing her fork into a chunk of eggplant.

“Mildred, you don’t know that for certain,” Riley said, though he didn’t sound too sure of himself. “So, you weren’t the only one let go?”

“Yeah, the others let go were Alex, Mel, and Gabe,” I added. “I guess I could understand Gabe, Alex, and I if they were looking at financial cuts and such, but Mel?”

Riley’s eyes widened. “They let go of Barkchips? What the hell are they smoking over there?”

Full Bloom and Mildred both gave Riley odd looks.

“Bark… chips…?” Mildred repeated.

“Huh? Oh, yeah, it’s… a bit of a nickname I gave Darren’s old girlfriend Mel when I met her.” He shrugged. “She was working at the campus greenhouse when I visited him last. When I met her, she was covered in bark chip shavings and mulch. It kind of stuck with her during the week that I stayed.”

“Nevermind,” Mildred said with a sigh and a soft laugh. “Figures you’d give her a nickname.”

“What? You have a nickname, too. No need to be jealous.” Riley gave Mildred a gentle nudge.

“Calling me Milly is hardly a fitting nickname. It sounds like a name of someone working at a granary,” she huffed.

“Don’t let it get to you, Mildred,” I said. “Riley gives everyone he cares about a nickname. It helps him identify people better.”

She rolled her eyes, but I noticed the corners of her beaked mouth curve upward a bit--and just how did griffins smile with a beak, anyway?

“So, if you’re not working at that Ecosystems for Equestria anymore, where are you working?” Riley asked. “If you need a job, I could keep an ear to the floor for you.”

“No, I have a job already.” I sat up a little straighter as he perked up upon hearing that. “I’m… working as a Gentleman.”

Riley and Mildred both gave me confused looks. Slowly, understanding crossed Mildred’s face. “Ohhh. I’ve heard about Gentleman for Mares, now that I think about it. Huh.” She smirked a bit. “It’s… an interesting line of work, I guess.”

“Wait…” Riley blinked. “You’re one of those… escort service people that I’ve been hearing about in the news and such?”

“Well, yeah, but… I wouldn’t take everything the media says at face value,” I replied.

“Of course not,” Riley agreed. “It’s the media. Still, I’m… surprised, I guess…” His expression was unreadable, but he was clearly mulling this over. “I never pegged you as someone who’d go for that kind of work, Darren.”

I set down my fork and tried to keep myself from glaring too hard at him. So far he hadn’t said anything overly offensive or rude, so there was no need to get pissy with him. Still, I wanted to make it clear that I was serious. “Riley…”

He held up his hands. “Easy, I’m not gonna lecture you, and I’m not judging. It’s legitimate work, despite what people might say. Anyone who cries foul is just an uptight moron.”

I relaxed at that. I was already regretting doubting his intent. Riley was probably the most influential person in my life in a lot of ways, so I suppose I shouldn’t have been so quick to assume he’d lash out or insult me.

“Sorry. I just…”

“It’s fine, no worries.” He gave me an easy grin. “As long as you’re getting paid well and enjoy the work, that’s all that matters to me.”

I inclined my head and let a small smile slip across my lips. “Thanks…”

“For what it’s worth, Darren’s actually been doing a lot of studying about Equestrian society and culture. The job demands he knows that kind of stuff,” Full Bloom added with a smile. “He’ll probably be more knowledgeable about Equestria than most humans living here right now before he’s done with his training.”

Mildred snickered a bit. “One way to really have fun with that knowledge is to act like a clueless tourist during the summer months; go and mess with some vendors in Neighagra Falls or Las Pegasus and make them think they’ll be able to sell some knock off enchanted gems to you or worthless trinket.”

“I take it you’ve had past experiences doing that?” I asked, arching an eyebrow in interest.

“Definitely. I’m a griffin, sure, but I was born in Equestria, and my parents have lived here most of their life. Aeric is actually a second language for me. It took a while for me to get to the level where I could ask questions like ‘where is the bathroom?’.” Mildred groaned. “Then Riley here showed up with the marines, and they started teaching us all the dirty jokes they could.”

“Hey, you Tellurians should be thankful that we humans brought you the gift of raunchy jokes from Earth.”

Full Bloom grinned at that. “Oh? You’ve got to tell me a few.”

“Alright, let’s see… ah,” Riley chuckled, then looked to me. “You’ll get a kick out of this one, too.” He cleared his throat. “So, a minotaur, a dairy farmer, and Princess Luna walk into creamery…”

I will not lie; Riley’s dirty humor was something that even Gabe would be jealous of. Full Bloom and I got a few laughs out of his jokes, and the stories of his time in Las Pegasus while on leave about a year ago were priceless.

We finished dinner shortly after, and settled into the living room area of my humble apartment. I popped in The Fellowship of the Ring and we all settled onto the couch to enjoy the film.

As I expected, the movie captured their interest immediately. Mildred wasn’t as familiar with the backstory of the Lord of the Rings series and the Hobbit, but she understood enough with Riley and I filling in some blanks for her. Full Bloom already understood the basic premise of what was going on, thanks to Trixie’s show not too long ago.

Before long we had gotten to one of my favorite scenes of the film; the mines of Moria.

I glanced over to Riley, curious to see how he and Mildred were doing on their end of the couch. I was surprised to see Mildred was resting her head against Riley’s shoulder while he had an arm gently wrapped around her frame.

Huh… either their very comfortable with each other, or you’ve been keeping a secret or two from me, Riley.

Smiling, I returned my attention to the screen just in time to see the Balrog make its appearance.

“Oh wow…” Full Bloom murmured. She had commented earlier in the film how amazing the cinematography was, and how beautiful the landscapes were. When I told her that the filming had been done mostly within the country of New Zealand, she had idly commented on wanting to visit there someday. Apparently, ponies had a love for vast landscapes with mountains. Though, judging from the way Mildred’s own eyes took in the scenery, she shared similar sentiments.

“... the dark fire shall not avail you, Flame of Udûn.”

I could feel Full Bloom’s foreleg tighten around my arm as she watched Gandalf stand his ground against the Balrog. When I glanced over to Mildred, she had leaned in a bit, her look intense as she watched one of the most iconic scenes in the film.

I couldn’t hold back the grin as I watched Ian McKellen raise up his staff and sword. “You shall not pass!”

Mildred and Full Bloom both jumped a bit as Gandalf sent out a burst of light upon slamming his staff to the rocky surface of the bridge.

Maybe I should have turned the volume down a bit… I thought to myself as I continued to smile in amusement. Full Bloom’s ears flicked every few seconds while her foreleg continued to hold my arm in a deathgrip.

… then I remembered what was about to happen. I doubt Full Bloom would be too happy to see—if my guessing was correct—her favorite character meet his demise. Without thinking, I placed my free hand behind one of her ears and gently scratched. No doubt she’d be needing a little comfort soon.

Then, just like that, the Balrog’s fiery whip managed to snag Gandalf’s leg as it plummeted to the earthen depths. Gandalf struggled to grab ahold of the rocky surface, his eyes meeting the rest of the fellowship as they called out to him.

“W-why aren’t they going to help him?!” Full Bloom asked aloud, probably not even aware of the fact that she had vocalized her thoughts.

“The bridge isn’t supported on either side now. It’s unstable…” Mildred said softly. I glanced over to her and was surprised to see the faintest signs of moisture in her eyes.

“Fly, you fools!”

“Oh no…” Full Bloom said softly, and a moment passed before Frodo cried out in despair as the old wizard’s grip finally gave out, and he too fell to the shadowy depths.

Mildred leaned back, letting out a weary sigh. I watched as Riley held her a little tighter as she exhaled from her nostrils and closed her eyes. Sensing a need to give the two a minute to take in what happened—after all, unlike Riley and myself, they had gone into this blind with no previous knowledge of the stories—I paused the movie.

Full Bloom was shedding tears now, something I could relate to, but still found myself surprised to see. She was a strong mare, after all. Clearly she had invested her emotions in Gandalf’s character. Without another thought, I gently stroked her neck as she sniffled quietly.

“If it makes you feel better,” Riley began, “I got choked up when I first saw this in theaters… and I had read the books long before this, so I knew it was coming.”

Full Bloom let out a weak laugh. “That actor playing Gandalf is really good.”

“Yeah, Ian McKellen’s a great actor.” I rested my chin on Full Bloom’s head as she sighed.

“I have to admit… for a non-magic race, you humans are really good at imagining what it would look like.” Mildred inclined her head back so that she could face Riley. “I get why the guys at camp started calling me ‘Mildred the Grey’ after that ambush fiasco with Haleman’s squad.”

Riley hummed in agreement. “You were pretty badass, they weren’t lying when they said that.”

Mildred ducked her head down a bit and smiled. “Yeah…”

After a few minutes of recovering from the loss of Gandalf, we resumed with the movie. By the time we had finished, it was well into the evening.

“You okay, Mildred?” I asked the eagless. She had been quiet ever since the movie finished, and while I didn’t know her too well, she did seem to have something on her mind.

“Hm?” She looked up from her spot on my futon that we had pulled out. “Oh, just thinking. That scene with that man… the one who was being tempted by that ring…”

“Boromir?” I asked.

“Yeah…” She sighed. “It was a little hard, watching him go down like that… but I’m glad he had an honorable death.” She shook her head. “I know it’s just a movie based on a fictional story, but it felt real enough. You humans really know how to make good films.”

I smiled. “We’ve made plenty of horrible movies, too. Trust me on that one.” I took a seat beside her, giving her a good amount of space. “I know what you mean, though. Boromir was definitely a good character, but he was still tempted by evil. I think it was Tolkien’s way of showing that even good people can be tempted by power, thinking they may be able to control it without succumbing to it, you know.? Other times we commit evil because the alternative is being executed, or worse…” I shrugged. “But… yeah, Boromir was an honorable man. He died protecting others.”

“...Boromir reminds me of my elder brother.”

“Oh?”

“Telforde. He was a Fortus Knight, and probably one of the largest earth griffins you’d ever meet.” She was quiet for a long while, but I noticed a fond smile creep across her features. “He had a heart of gold, and would be the first to jump into the fray when others were in danger.”

I didn’t pry for details, and it seemed like she wasn’t willing to say more on the subject. Instead, I simply gave her a soft smile. “Well, I’m guessing that kind of conviction runs in the family, then, huh?”

She glanced up at me. “I’d like to think so. I’m not as strong, but… Telforde would always tell me how I was picking fights with other fledglings back in my youth. Always trying to make a name for myself…”

It was at that point that Riley walked back into the room. He was wearing a white tank top and a pair of boxer shorts now. His hair was still damp from the shower he had just finished, and he was running a towel through it. “Well, I don’t know about you kids, but I’m about ready for bed.” He looked around, then turned back to me. “Where’s Full Bloom?”

“Just missed her; she went to bed. I was just waiting for you to finish, just in case you slipped on a bar of soap.” I offered Riley a smirk as he rolled his eyes.

“One time, Darren. That happened only one damned time. We were both still in elementary school.” He waved a hand when Mildred perked up in interest. “I’ll tell you later,” he added, looking to the eagless.

“Alright, alright.” I got up. “Sleep well, then. If either of you need extra blankets, their in the closet in across from my room.”

Riley and Mildred each bid me a goodnight, and with that, I made my way into my own bedroom. I closed the door quietly, only for a ball of soft green light to form where my bed was.

“I didn’t wake you, did I?” I asked softly.

I was able to make out Full Bloom’s face as she increased the glow of her horn a little. She offered me a gentle smile. “No. Just wanted to give you a little light so you wouldn’t trip over anything.”

I snorted as I made my way into bed, throwing off my pants and shirt as I did so. “Riley is the clumsy one. You need to worry more about him doing that.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” she teased. “So… we have two more movies to watch yet, huh?”

“Yep, and the third one is over three hours long… at least, mine is.” She quirked an eyebrow at that. “I have the extended edition of all movies. There’s extra scenes and such that weren’t in the theaters.”

“Over three hours?” She chuckled. “Ugh, I don’t know if I can sit in one spot for that long.”

“Well, it’ll have to wait until Sunday, at least.” I said as I adjusted my position so she could rest her head on my chest.

She turned her head a bit so she could meet my gaze. “Mm. That’s right, you got that date or whatever in Manehatten tomorrow with one of your instructors, right?”

“Yeah. She’s an earth pony named Ambrosia.”

“Earth pony, huh?” Full Bloom chuckled. “Best of luck, then.”

“Hm?”

She just gave me a loving nuzzle in reply. “Earth ponies have lots of stamina. Just try to remember that.” With that, she gave me a peck on the cheek and cut off the magic of her horn, plunging my room into shadows once more. For a long while the two of us were quiet, letting our breathing be the only noise to fill in the silence of my bedroom.

Then, a stray thought from my earliest conversation with Royal Ribbon, Pizzelle, and Ambrosia came to mind.

“Hey, Full Bloom? Have you ever heard of earth ponies breaking their partners’ pelvises during sex…?”

End of Chapter Eight

Author's Note

And that is the second half of The Mare Behind the Mask mini-arc! Hope you enjoyed it; I know I did. I'm sure a few of you are wondering when I'll be getting to more of the saucy stuff regarding Darren's work. Don't worry, I already have that stuff being worked on; it just needs to be finished and then polished up before I think of posting it. And, to be honest, I like the pony-human interactions outside of clop scenes more in many ways.

A big thanks to Firesight, AJ Aficionado, and Demon Eyes Laharl. All three helped a lot in this chapter with input, and you can all thank Demon Eyes Laharl for helping establish the culture of griffins in this fictional series that Gentleman for Mares takes place.

I'd highly recommend reading his story Feathered Heart if you want a better look at the griffies of this world. It's pretty cool, well written, has a nice dash of comedy, romance, and a good amount of action. It's also tells about the first attacks from the Cloven after contact between Tellus and Earth was made. Seriously, check it out if you have any appreciation for world-building and action. I'm sure you won't regret it.

I'd like to also thank all of you who have been following and reading this story so far. It's just nice to hear it when someone likes my story, or when I get some helpful feedback. Writers write for themselves in many cases, but ultimately it's the readers who make that writing worthwhile in my opinion. So, in short, thanks to everyone reading this and leaving me feedback.

That's all for now. Keep on keeping on, everyone!

Uptown Mare

Gentleman in Training

by Denim_Blue

Chapter Nine: Uptown Mare

“-ren…”

Consciousness came to me with the gentle nudging of something against my side. I groaned in protest, my mind wanting to remain in the realm of dreams and unconsciousness, despite the persistent force trying to wake me from my slumber.

“Darren,” whispered a voice that struck a familiar chord in the back of my mind.

More prodding against my chest.

With a yawn, I slowly opened my eyes and let my vision adjust to the early rays of sunlight filling my room. I smacked my lips, only to blink dubiously as a pair of equally groggy, verdant eyes met my gaze.

In fact, said eyes more or less were almost all that I could see in my field of vision at the moment.

“Mornin’, Full Bloom,” I mumbled, my mind slowly kicking into gear. It was only then that I realized I had managed to pull my poor marefriend into a vicegrip embrace overnight, and it seemed that I hadn’t let her go throughout the night.

“Your breath stinks,” she said, and I could practically hear her wrinkling her nose as I chuckled.

“Speak for yourself, hay breath,” I said softly, planting a soft kiss on her forehead while keeping my eyes closed. “What time is it?”

“Mm. Seven thirty in the morning. Your phone woke me up. I just turned off the alarm… or turned it off the phone itself. I’m not sure, but it stopped playing that really dramatic music you always wake up to.”

“Sorry, about that,” I apologized as I let her go. “Hope I didn’t cause any problems by unknowingly using you as a body pillow last night.”

She smiled at that, “No harm. I was pretty comfortable, to be honest.”

I sat up after my muscles protested for a few moments, then shifted my feet to hang over my bed. I slumped forward and groaned, peering through the blinds of my bedroom looking out into residential Hoofington. “At least it’s nice out.”

I felt a weight press against my back, followed by Full Bloom giving me a gentle kiss along my jawline. She eventually stopped, and the two of us just sat there, enjoying the moment together.

“You’re sure you don’t mind playing host to Riley and Mildred while I’m gone? I can see if I can quickly find them a hotel for the night. I’ll be back tomorrow around noon, so—”

“I don’t mind,” she whispered, giving me a final kiss. “Mildred seems like a pretty cool girl, and Riley’s got that goofy vibe going about him like you have.”

“Goofy?” I gave her an look of mock-hurt while placing a hand to my chest and frowning. “You wound me, Full Bloom.”

“You doofus, it’s what I love about you,” she giggled. “Now come on, get up or you’re going to be late for the chariot coming to pick you up at your work.” She nudged me with a hoof, gently pushing me up and forcing me to stand.

“Okay, okay,” I laughed as she threw me a towel and a change of clothes that I had laid out the other night.

“I’ll make you some breakfast while you shower up,” she said, adjusting her bedhead in the bedroom mirror a bit before giving up when it refused to submit to her hoof and magic. “How about I make some… what did you call them? ‘Egg in the nest’, right?”

I nodded. “That’d be awesome. I appreciate that, Full Bloom.” I leaned forward and gave her a nibble on the ear, earning a pleased hum from her. “I’ll need to repay you for all the pampering you’ve been doing lately.”

“I would happily welcome that,” she purred, only to gently push me away with a hoof. “You’ll have to wait until after Manehattan, though. I don’t want my boyfriend coming back half-dead, after all.” She chuckled as my smile fell. “I’m joking, Darren. I just want you to have a good… session, or whatever, with your instructors. You’ll need all the energy you can spare.”

I settled for giving her another peck and gentle scratch behind the ears. She eventually managed to pry herself from me, and she chased me into the bathroom after threatening to snap me with the bath towel. I hopped into the shower and quickly cleaned myself up. Afterwards, I spent a few minutes wetting my hair and applying a bit of gel to it, giving it a bit of style that I normally would not bother with. I put on the white dress shirt and a dark blue tie, then took the rest of my ensemble with me as I headed to the kitchen.

The aroma of toast and eggs cooking wafted through the air as I opened the bathroom door, and my stomach growled loudly.

“Amen to that,” came the voice of Riley from the living room.

I laughed and looked over the edge of the futon he was sleeping on, only to pause as I saw a second, much more feathered/furred lump lying beside him. I noticed that Riley’s top was off and tossed to the floor.

“Oh, s-sorry, I didn’t mean to—” I backed away as I continued to stammer out an apology.

“Darren, hold on, I’m not buck naked, geesh.” Riley laughed. “You don’t have anything to apologize for.”

I stopped, and walked back towards the two. Mildred now had an eye open, and offered me a lazy greeting with a claw before nuzzling closer to Riley.

“I suppose I forgot to tell you we’re a thing, huh?” Riley said, which was more or less his way of apologizing.

I gave him a nod.

“Milly and I got together about… two years ago, right?” He looked down to Mildred, who gave a grunt of agreement. “Yeah, two years.”

“Wish you had told me. It’d be nice to know the name of my brother’s… um…”

“Girlfriend is fine with me. Eaglessfriend is too much of a mouthful in Equestrian,” Mildred said with a yawn. “I suppose I shouldn’t have assumed you knew, Darren. Don’t worry, though, you’re brother’s been a perfect gentleman.”

I smirked. “I’m glad to hear that. If he gives you any problems, just let me know.”

“Pfft, like you could take me one-on-one,” Riley chuckled.

“He wouldn’t need to,” Mildred said with a gentle nip to his neck, earning a grunt of annoyance from Riley. “You’d be dealing with me.”

Despite the surprise, I guess a part of me didn’t find this to be too odd as far as revelations went. In fact, after seeing how close they were last night during the movie, it made sense.

Grinning a bit, I nodded towards the kitchen. “Full Bloom’s making breakfast. I’ll help her out if you two are hungry for something right now. She’s making eggs in the nest.”

“Yeah, that sounds great.” Riley stretched, forcing Mildred to sit up. “You hungry, Milly?”

“Mm, I could probably go for some food.” She sat up and stretched as well, looking very much like a cat waking up from a nap as she did so. “So, where are you heading off to that you have to dress up so nice?” She asked me upon noticing my dress shirt and pants. “I’m not one of those Canterlot socialites, but I know someone is dressed for an occasion when I see it.”

“I’ve got an appointment with one of my instructors in Manehattan later today. I’m actually going to be leaving in…” I glanced at the watch strapped around my wrist that Full Bloom had bought me before continuing, “Roughly an hour, if not sooner. I got a chariot scheduled to pick me up at nine, and with any luck I’ll be in Manehattan by one if the winds are favorable.”

“Damn, Manehattan, huh?” Riley nodded approvingly. “Now aren’t you glad you took Uncle Dale’s advice and took that suit he gave you across the portal with you?”

I grunted as I fixed my tie a bit. “Sure, but that last minute addition almost cost me an hour delay in crossing the portal. I was supposed to bring only so much weight when we were offered a moving crate and help moving belongings. It’s not exactly the easiest thing to transport a lot of crap across that portal from what I heard. Especially electronics.”

“Still, you look better in a suit than not,” Riley countered. “Anyway, we’ll be up for breakfast in a bit.”

Giving a nod of understanding, I made my way into the kitchen area. Full Bloom had already made two plates of food, and was on her way through a third when I walked in. “I figured Riley and Mildred will be hungry, so I’ve already got their breakfast in the works.” She floated a plate of toast with an egg cooked into its center over to me, along with a side of some chopped melon I had in the fridge. “You want milk, juice, or coffee?”

“You won’t find any coffee in this house, Full Bloom. You know that,” I laughed.

“That’s something we’ll have to fix, then, if I plan on staying overnight more often,” she sighed melodramatically. “I suppose I can do with orange juice for now. I’m not sure why you make me suffer, Darren.”

“Love you, too,” I replied, making my way to the fridge and pulling out the carton of orange juice. I poured two glasses, one for her and one for me, and made my way to the table. “You need any help?”

She shook her head as she got to work preparing a fourth plate. “Nope, I’m just about done, and you don’t have much time before you need to get going.” She waved a spatula at me as she continued. “You don’t want to be late for your first session with your instructor, do you?”

“No, I’d rather not,” I relented, digging into my meal. Upon taking my first bite, my eyes lit up. “Huh… Full Bloom, either you’re a good guesser, or you know my tastes better than I thought you did.”

She giggled as she set down the last plate of eggs in a nest, “I figured you’d like the crushed pepper and chili sauce.” She took a seat and called into the livingroom. “Breakfast is in the kitchen whenever you two are ready.”

“M’kay,” called Riley, a hand waving up from behind the futon.

“So, did you know about them?” I asked quietly, nodding into the livingroom.

“I had my suspicions,” she replied with an innocent grin. “I didn’t want to say anything, though. I’m not too familiar with griffins outside of my few times talking with them, so I figured I’d keep any questions to myself.” She shrugged as her horn lit up, moving her knife and fork over the toast as she cut into it. “I guess griffins are just as prone to cuddling as us… at least in Mildred’s case.”

I chuckled. “Yeah.”

“You sound relieved,” she noted.

I waved my hand in a ‘so-so’ manner. “Yes and no. I wasn’t really worried about Riley’s opinion of me dating you too much. He’s pretty open-minded about stuff like that. It’s… just nice to know that he’s got some understanding of where I’m coming from. Magical, unicorn girlfriend and such withstanding, it’s nice to know he can relate to cross-species relationships.”

Full Bloom flashed me a coy grin. “Aw, are you afraid me and my magic?” She hid her smile behind a hoof when I let out a bark of laughter. “I’m just a helpless little unicorn, though, and you’re a big, scary human.”

“Oh baby, I love it when you talk dirty,” I said with a rolling of my eyes while taking another bite of egg. “Keep it up and I might have to call off my date with Ambrosia for tonight.”

In time, Riley and Mildred got up and joined us for breakfast. Mildred voiced similar complaints regarding the lack of coffee, and I was probably safe in my guess that I’d have a coffee maker in my home before the end of the weekend if the two girls had anything to say on the matter.

“Mind if I join you for the trek to work?” Riley asked me as I rinsed off my plate after I had finished.

“Yeah, sure, I guess,” I said with a shrug. “It’s not like it’s a long ways. I can make the trip in under fifteen minutes if I keep a good pace.”

“Eh, I want to get some fresh air anyway,” Riley replied. “Let me throw on some pants and a shirt and I’ll join you.”

I gave Full Bloom a final goodbye as I took my overnight bag and left the apartment. Full Bloom promised to take care of my place while I was away, though it wasn’t entirely needed with Riley and Mildred being there. Regardless, the thought was appreciated.

Riley and I made for an interesting duo as we headed down the road towards Gentleman for Mares. I was in a nice dress suit with a tie and a wristwatch that probably had more value than any of my other belongings put together, and he was in a gray t-shirt while wearing a pair of heavy boots and cargo pants.

“So… you and Mildred, huh?” I asked conversationally.

“Yeah, I bet you’re curious, huh?” He looked to me with a grin. “Believe it or not, I was the one who asked if she was interested in dating first.”

“What’d she say?”

“She told me to meet her on the training ground later that day so we could spar, then left me confused as hell. I asked one of the of the Talons that I became friends with if I pissed her off, and he told me it was basically her way of sizing me up and seeing if I was worth her time.”

“Talons?” I echoed.

“They’re griffin soldiers,” Riley answered. “You’ve got Guards, Talons, and then Knights. Long story short, Guards typically protect areas like towns and the like, Talons are the main soldier body of the Gryphon Kingdom, and Knights are the best of the best. You got the Fortus Knights, who carry huge shields and warhammers—”

“Warhammers?” I repeated, my eyes widening. “Badass!”

“Yeah, they remind me a lot of the Roman Legion with how they use shield walls and other tactics. Though, the griffies are starting to learn a few tactics from us, too. Anyway, you got the Fortus Knights, which is made up of heavy-armored earth griffins. Then you’ve got Wind Knights; they usually carry crossbows, and attack quickly and effectively, and perform scouting and missions that require fast air-travel. Sky griffins make up that force. Then you’ve got the Magus Knights, like Mildred. They’re pretty rare from what I understand. Mage griffins make up that group. They cast spells to protect allies and give hell to enemies.”

“So, just how powerful is Mildred, then?”

Riley chuckled. “You ever see wind cut through trees like butter?”

“...butter?” I raised an eyebrow, but Riley just continued to smirk. “Cripes, you’re serious, aren’t you?”

“I wouldn’t believe it if I hadn’t seen it for myself. She’s got this love for wind element magic, but she’s decent at other stuff, too. I once saw her set a flock of Flyers on fire with a wave of her staff.”

“Flyers?”

Riley paused for a moment, then nodded. “Y-yeah, they’re a type of… Cloven. Nasty bastards. They make for a good moving target, though.”

“I’d be much happier if you’d never have to face down anything like those nightmares ever again,” I replied in earnest. “I didn’t get much information outside of what you were able to tell me over email. None of it was good.”

He nodded. “Yeah… I’m glad I went to Gryphon. I learned about the griffins, got to see some cool places… but…” He looked ahead as he continued, his gaze not really focusing on anything in particular. “There’s some shit you just wish you could forget.”

I placed a hand on his shoulder. “Hey…”

He looked to me, flashing me an apologetic smile. “Sorry. Just some bad memories.”

“Have… have you talked to anyone about them?” I couldn’t help but let the worry I felt creep into my voice. “I mean, I know you’re tough, but—”

“I’m better,” he admitted. “I’ve talked to others who experienced the same shit I did, and it’s helped. The griffins are pretty good about helping those who went through war, too. They take military service seriously over there, and that includes helping soldiers recover and deal with PTSD.” He smiled a bit. “Not only are Mildred and I dating, we’ve also been looking out for each other ever since the war. She’s got a little background in medicine and a little in psychology, so she’s been there for me during some rough times.”

I found my throat tightening a bit. I struggled to keep my voice even. “Riley… damn, I wish I—”

“Hey,” Riley cut me off with a nudge to the shoulder. “You never knew, okay? I wasn’t trying to hide anything from you, but at the same time, I was dealing with things fairly well compared to others.”

“Alright…” I sighed. “Just… I know I can’t relate all that well to much of what you dealt with, but I’m always willing to listen or help. Remember that, alright?”

Riley’s smirk softened a bit and he simply nodded.

We were quiet for a long time after that. Before long, we were making our way down the cul de sac that Gentleman for Mares was located on. Classes weren’t held on weekends, but the place itself still operated every day of the week.

“Heh, cute place,” Riley noted, taking in the flowers and pristine lawn in front of the building. “This is where you work?”

“Not so much work as much as learn, but yeah. It’s probably the smallest branch of Gentlemen for Mares, actually, but they handle a crap-ton of paperwork. I think it’s safe to say that the mare who handles most of the filing work is happy that a computer is going to be installed soon.”

“Oh man, Mildred loves computers,” Riley laughed. “The poor girl is addicted to chess, but she gets pissed since the computer always beats her.”

“Mildred seems like a pretty cool griffin,” I said as we made our way up the walkway leading to the front entrance. “I like her.”

Riley smiled, and it may have been just me, but I thought I saw a bit of relief flash across his face. “Heh, she was actually looking forward to meeting you. I may have talked you up a bit, but she wanted to meet my little brother as soon as we decided to visit Hoofington.” He was quiet for a moment, then added. “Full Bloom is pretty cool, too. She seems like your type.”

“If you need me to idolize you and make you sound like the best brother in the world to win over Mildred, I’ll happily do that for you,” I laughed. “Though, I think you’ve already got that area covered.”

“I’ll keep it in mind for family gatherings, then. I haven’t met much of her family, yet, but she wants me to meet them. Not sure how excited I should be about that, yet.” He sighed loudly, “Anyway, I suppose I’ll let you go.”

“I’ll be back tomorrow,” I said, making my way inside.

“Alright. Hopefully I can keep Mildred and Full Bloom from renovating your place too much while you’re away. We’ll have to see Gabe, Alex, and Mel when you get back.”

That actually sounded like a great idea. “Yeah, I’m sure they’d love to see you, too.”

“Hey, Darren?”

“Yeah?”

I was surprised when I Riley pulled me in for a tight hug, slapping me hard on the shoulders for good measure. After a moment passed, I chuckled and returned in kind.

“It’s great to see you again, dork.” He pulled away quickly and grinned. “I’ll try and keep the girls in line until you get back.”

“Good luck with that,” I laughed.

Riley left shortly after that, and not a moment later, Manila walked out of the building, holding a mug of coffee in one hoof while she walked with her other three legs—something that I never thought possible, but apparently Equestrians were pretty damn good at keeping their balance.

“Morning, Darren. Here for your trip to Manehattan?” she asked.

“Yep, the chariot should be here pretty soon, if I remember right.”

She nodded, taking a sip of her coffee. “Mhm. They’re actually coming up from Las Pegasus; it’s a shorter distance getting here, and then they will be giving you and Ambrosia a ride back tomorrow morning.”

“I’m still surprised that you can afford chariots for your Gentlemen to ride in.”

Manila hummed. “Platinum Corona likes making all of you boys look good. Part of that includes making a great first impression when you arrive.”

“Speaking of Platinum, is she still here with Five Stars?”

Manila nodded. “Five Stars and Platinum are each sleeping in one of the guest rooms we converted from an office.”

“I’m kind of surprised they’re okay with that… well, at least Platinum. She doesn’t seems like a mare to make do without comforts like a hotel suite.”

“You’d be surprised. I heard from Five Stars that Platinum can be pretty down to earth once you get to know her a bit. She just has to keep appearances for publicity.”

“She seemed pretty chill when I talked with her.” I said, turning my gaze towards the sky. “Ah, and there’s the chariot.”

Manila and I watched as the chariot in question came into view. There were four ponies pulling the chariot, and as they landed in front of headquarters, I got a better look at them, taking note that they were all stallions.

“Huh, they don’t pull punches on service, do they?” I remarked. The stallions were decked in flight gear and carried themselves in a professional manner as they slowly turned the chariot in a perfect half-circle before coming to a complete stop. The chariot was actually more like a carriage, consisting of a roof that came up from the back and covered the majority of the seating area, a door on either side, and a what appeared to be an area to install windows and paneling for colder temperatures. All in all, it was rather impressive.

Manila gave me a nudge and walked with me to the chariot.

Upon seeing me approach, the closest stallion spoke up. “Mr. Halverson?”

I stopped short, but nodded. “Yep, that’s me.”

The stallion gave a nod in return. “Good morning, sir. We’ve been instructed by Ms. Silky to pick you up and deliver you to Manehattan before twelve thirty this afternoon. If you would please board, we’ll take off when you’re ready.

“Oh, Darren, hold on!”

I was stopped by Manila, who walked in front of me and handed me a small folder. “Here, take this. Read it on your way to Manehattan.”

“Hm?” I took the folder. “What is it?”

“Just…” She took a moment, searching for the proper words. “I guess you could say it’s a bit of a guide to what you’ll be covering during your day with Ambrosia. She made it up herself, so she’ll be familiar with everything covered, too.” She gave me a knowing smile as I raised an eyebrow while opening the folder up. “She asked me to tell you that she’s really been looking forward to this.”

“You don’t say,” I laughed. A few of the stallions even chuckled at that. “Well, no sense in keeping the poor girl waiting, then.” I turned to the stallions. “Erm… I’m sorry, what are your names?”

“Crosswind,” replied the stallion that had addressed me.

“Dust Devil,” answered the stallion behind him with a grin.

“Whirlygig,” said the other stallion in the front.

“Whirly Gig,” said the fourth stallion.

“Wait… Whirly…?” I looked between the two stallions.

“My name’s one word, his is two.” Answered the stallion in front. “You can just call him Gig. He a stunt pony during the slow seasons.”

“Huh…” Fair enough.

“By the way, you probably want to drink down one of those warming potions. If you get airsickness, there’s a bottle for that, too,” called Crosswind from the front.

Without further prompting, I opened up the chariot and hopped in. Manila waved to me as I we took off, and within less than a minute, we were flying over the modest Hoofington skyline. In a small compartment in the back I noticed a bottle with a clear label, indicating a warming potion. I uncorked the screw and drank half the bottle, as suggested in the directions. Airsickness wasn’t much of a problem with me, thankfully, but I’m sure Alex would appreciate the service whenever he would be taking a chariot ride for business.

“So, you guys do this on a regular basis or is this just a side-job for you?”

“Crosswind and Whirlygig are full-time staff for our transportation company,” answered Dust Devil. “Gig and I both have other jobs that are sort of dependent on what work we can find. Gig is from Applewood and I work as a teacher at the Junior Speedsters flight camp during summer program classes.”

I grinned. “That’s awesome!” I meant it, too. I seriously envied pegasi and their ability to fly. I love being a human, don’t get me wrong, but I think it’s safe to say that many humans have always wished to be able to take the skies. It explained much of our species’ history with planes and other modes of travel, after all…

“Heh, don’t be too sure of that. You get the brats who think they’re the next General Easyglider with their ‘amazing’ moves all the time, and they end up complaining the most because the classes are too hard about a week in.” He chuckled, “Well, I must enjoy it for some reason, though. Otherwise I’d have stopped teaching years ago.”

Gig snorted. “Don’t believe him for a second, kid.”

I raised an eyebrow at that. Kid?

“Dust Devil will prattle on for hours like an old mare at the weekly bingo hall gathering if you ask him about flight camp. He loves it. He’s been getting lots of griffin kids lately who came from Caleponia within the Gryphon Kingdom. Won’t stop talking about them.”

“Hey,” Dust Devil snapped, “those griffins put most of the foals to shame with how well behaved they are. Besides, they’ve had it rough. The classes give ‘em something to work on and help ease their minds while their communities are recovering, you know?”

“Easy, Dusty, I wasn’t implying it’s a bad thing…”

“That’s cool, though.” I said, raising my voice over the increasing gusts of wind as we ascended higher into the air, “You pegasi are pretty awesome, being able to fly and move around the weather like you do.”

“Yeah, but you humans are pretty awesome, too,” argued Gig. “Who would have ever thought of something like deep-fried cheesecake?”

“Or deep-fried peanut butter and jelly sandwiches,” Whirlygig added.

“Deep fried pickles…” Gig continued.

“Deep fried ice cream…” Whirlygig laughed. “Seriously, who the heck would’ve thought of that?” He turned to Crosswind and poked him in the side, “Humans, that’s who.”

“You need to stop watching those educational videos from Earth, Whirlygig. You’re starting to sound like one,” Crosswind said with a snicker.

“You laugh now, but I know a place in Manehattan that we’re going to go to. It just opened up, and it has deep fried foods from Earth. You’ll be eating your words, trust me.”

Dust Devil laughed. “Oh man, here we go…”

I sat back, listening to the stallions go on about the merits of deep-frying food. I was thankful for the overhead covering on the chariot, otherwise the winds probably would have been unbearable for me. Not to mention reading the papers Manila gave me would have been difficult.

I looked over the guide Ambrosia had written up for me, surprised by how neat her penmanship was. It was still obvious that she had written it with her mouth, but it was incredibly legible. Usually I had to pause when reading over the mouth-written script, then again, most of my colleagues back at Ecosystems for Equestria cared little for legibility, so as long as they could read their own writing.

The guide started with a small introduction from Ambrosia herself:

Darren,

I’m really looking forward to spending the day with you. I’ll be meeting you at the Gilded Willow Hotel on the corner of Smart Cookie Street and Trotsborough Avenue. If you’re lost, I have a city map included in this folder, though the boys bringing you here shouldn’t make any mistakes. They were very professional in bringing me here without any problems several days prior.

Once you arrive, we’ll be starting by having lunch at a beautiful restaurant that I’ve been wanting to revisit for some time; The Chêne Blanc. It’s approved under G4M’s list of Manehattan restaurants (I’ll get into that a bit more when you arrive), and the maître d’ is a friend of my family. I actually set up a reservation for us ahead of time for around two thirty in the afternoon (something that we’ll be touching upon in classes next week), and were promised a private booth.

I think you can understand where I’m going with the need for privacy.

Afterwards, I’ll let you decide where we’ll go next. There’s a beautiful park in Manehattan, several shows are playing on Bridleway, and a wonderful view of the harbor we can see along the boardwalk, along with numerous other places to visit. Once you start taking on actual jobs with paying clients, you’ll be responsible for much of the activities planned, so it’s important to get an idea of what’s available in the area you’re working in. This will give you a small taste of one of our bigger client base locations. While we do have a headquarters in Manehattan, there’s always the chance that Hoofington may have its own Gentlemen going there from time to time.

After spending our afternoon and early evening on the town, we’ll return to the Gilded Willow Hotel for a night that will hopefully be enlightening and enjoyable—for the both of us.

~Ambrosia

P.S. I almost forgot, there’s a sheet with some of the more common and popular ‘positions’ practiced in Equestria, complete with illustrations. I’d recommend looking them over, but don’t worry too much. I’ll be helping you get familiar with them this evening, and perhaps in the morning before we leave, depending on how things go.

I looked at the other documents in the folder, and sure enough, there was a sheet with some rather explicit illustrations on them. Well… not explicit so much as informative on a topic that you wouldn’t discuss with young children around.

I glanced over the papers, raising an eyebrow as I noticed it was folded into three parts. I unfolded and felt my face heat up.

“H-how the heck can…?” I squinted, then looked at the fine print next to a particular drawing. “Oh, right, unicorns. Magic… that makes more sense…”

Well, time to get studying, I suppose!

I saw the Manehattan skyline come into view after we passed over Canterlot and crossed a mountain range or two. I didn’t even realize how much time had passed, but I was pleased to see that my watch worked as well as Full Bloom said it would; we had gone ahead by almost an hour in time zones since we started traveling, and the watch had adjusted for this on its own.

The chariot gracefully weaved around a few buildings before it banked gently and descended upon Smart Cookie Street. They came to a steady stop in front of a rather swanky looking hotel. There was a large fountain out in front, and in the middle of the fountain grew a willow tree that probably stood somewhere between twenty to twenty-five feet high. Despite it being close to autumn, the tree was still green and had not lost any leaves aside from the normal amount that fall from a willow throughout the growing season.

“Alright, Mr. Halverson, this is our stop,” called Dust Devil. I turned around to face the stallion, and he grinned. “We’ll see you here tomorrow morning.” With that, the four stallions took off, quickly becoming a distant speck against the Manehattan skyline.

I didn’t get much of a chance to admire the scenery of Manehattan, though, since my gaze was immediately drawn to that of a familiar face.

“Hello, Darren,” greeted Ambrosia. My earth pony instructor gave me a friendly smile as she approached. I knelt down as she neared me, and wrapped my arms around her without a second thought as she gave me a friendly nuzzle.

When she pulled away, I managed to get a good look at her appearance. She had done her long mane into a gentle, flowing braid that ran down along her neck, being tied off with a dark orange bow. She wore a matching colored dress… my memories of elementary school and crayons brought the words ‘burnt umber’ to mind. The dress was designed to fit comfortably, but gave her a certain degree of mobility if my growing understanding of Equestrian fashion was anything to go by. As far as designs go, it was perhaps a little more conservative. It flowed rather than hugged, yet at the same time it brought attention to her soft green eyes. For a finishing touch to her ensemble, she wore a silver bracelet around her right foreleg and a simple necklace depicting a small ruby heart enclosed in a circle of silver jewelry.

All in all, she looked beautiful, but not like she was preparing for a formal dinner with one of the Canterlot nobles.

“You look lovely,” I said with a smile.

That brought a smile to her lips. “Oh, thank you. I visited this nice dressmaker that I had heard about. She’s a wonderful mare, and managed to whip this beautiful little dress about three days after I visited while I was staying here in Manehattan.” She did little twirl so I got a full view of dress. “On top of that, I visited my doctor, whose main office is in Manehattan, and got my brace off!” She wiggled her once injured leg for me, grinning. “I healed up faster than they expected. After they checked everything over, they said I was good to go! I just need to take it easy for a week as far as moving around goes.” She leaned forward a bit and whispered, “Luckily, that refers mostly to running and jumping; we can still have fun tonight.”

I chuckled as she let out a giggle. I held out my hand for her, and a cute blush rose to her cheeks as she smiled at my gesture. Lifting a hoof, she placed it in my open palm and I raised it to my lips, kissing it softly.

“Ms. Ambrosia, would you give me the honor of enjoying your company this fine day?” I asked, just loud enough for her to hear.

She actually shuddered a bit, and licked her lips. “Y-yes, please.” She straightened up a bit, and exhaled. “I-I mean, yes, I would love that.” She flashed me a smile, and winked. “Clearly you’ve learned a bit since we last saw each other.”

It had been awhile since we had seen each other, hadn’t it? She had more or less met me on my orientation day, and then left for Manehattan to see her brother and her sister-in-law. Aside from that, neither of us got much time to spend together.

“I may have learned a few things,” I smirked as I gently planted a few more kisses along her foreleg, running up to where her knee was. She pulled away, her blush now an intense shade of red. “If I were to be honest, though, what you saw just now was me reacting more than thinking.” I grinned a little and waggled my eyebrows. “I’ve been hoping to see you again, Ambrosia.”

Ambrosia continued to giggle as she waved a hoof at me. “You’re a real tease, Darren, but I’m loving it.” She leaned forward so that I could feel her breath tickle my ear. “I’ve been dealing with a dry spell that’s gone on for almost seven months now. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this…”

Dry spell? Did she… oh. Oh.

She slowly walked past me, purposely letting her tail brush against my hands as she gently bumped my side with her flank. She looked over her shoulder, all hints of her teasing replaced once more with that bright and cheery grin. “Come on, let’s drop off your bag with the hotel staff so they can bring it to our room. Then, I’ll give you a little tour of the city while we head over to The Chêne Blanc.

And just like that, the lustful, teasing mare that I had a bare glimpse of was gone. It was like she flipped a switch on me.

Nodding, I got to my feet and walked up so that I was beside her.

Ambrosia, I had come to learn, was very much a filly at heart. In the short time we had been walking down the streets of Manehattan, I learned from her that she loved cute animals, had a very bad sweet tooth, and owned every single volume of the Daring Do series, which were all signed by A.K. Yearling herself, or so she claimed.

Despite that demure and youthful aura she carried about her, I would catch brief glimpses of her more sensual side as well. They were a lot harder to notice at first glance, since she tended to quickly cover them up with a smile or a giggle.

For instance, she put a little more sway into her hips as she moved, and it seemed like every other step had her neck or tail brushing against a leg or hand. I could tell they were deliberate and a part of my mind noted they were likely more than a little obvious since she was making them that way. It was reasonable to assume that when I was spending time with a client in the future that the physical contact would still be there, but less noticeable.

She was, more or less, instructing me on the subtle nuances of pony body language by acting out the role of a client.

“So, what’s this “Chêne Blanc” place like?” I gave her an inquisitive look as she glanced up at me. “I should forewarn you, my French is about as solid as a wet napkin, so I’m not sure how well I’ll be able to read a menu. I will most likely be able to pronounce only one thing. It’ll be under the breakfast menu, if it exists; the omelette au fromage.”

“The… omelette with cheese?” she translated aloud.

While she gave me a weird look I just smirked. “It’s… a joke from a cartoon. I had a good childhood, let’s leave it at that.”

She laughed while shaking her head, then gave me a gentle nudge with a hoof. “Don’t worry, I know a little Prench—which I believe is more or less the equivalent of French—so I can help you if you need it. Though, they should have Equestrian translations of everything for us, too.”

“Prench, huh?”

She nodded. “Before I took up a job in construction, I studied Prench back in secondary school.” She waved a hoof when I nodded for her to continue. “Four years of classes, and I haven’t really used much of it, but I could probably speak enough of the language to find out where the bathroom is and know what I’m eating.”

“A little multilingualism never hurt anyone,” I replied. “I can speak some Spanish and I picked up a few words in Japanese from my brother over the years.”

“I’d love to visit Earth someday,” Ambrosia said with a smile as she looked ahead. “I hear there are many beautiful places to visit.”

“More than I could hope to think of,” I said with a nod. “Though, to name a few, I’d recommend Japan, Ireland, the Redwood forests , Alaska, Australia, Germany, New Zealand, Hong Kong, the Schwarzwald, the Amazon Rainforest, the Caribbean islands, and perhaps Italy if you can fit it all in one trip…” I winked when she shook her head in amusement. “That’s just the tip of the iceberg, by the way.”

“I don’t think I’d ever be able to see all of Earth in my lifetime. I’ve read magazines on all the different places to visit… there’s just so much.” She gestured with a hoof to the city around us. “What do you think of Manehattan, by the way?”

“It’s big,” I said, stating the obvious. “I… honestly, I’m not sure I could give an honest opinion without spending a few days here. I never visited New York back on Earth, but I imagine this is close to what it must be like there.”

“That’s what most who’ve been to both cities say, at least,” she agreed. “Have you thought of anywhere you’d like to visit after lunch?”

“Mm, actually, I was thinking we could maybe go through the park you mentioned in that letter? Maybe see a performance on Bridleway?” I shrugged. “I wish I had more of an idea of what was good around here to make a decision.”

“Don’t worry about it,” she said with a smile. “You’re here to learn, remember? You have to start somewhere.”

We soon found ourselves standing before the restaurant that Ambrosia had picked out for us. It had a stone sign in front of it, the establishment’s name engraved into it with an ornate calligraphy like style. Beneath the restaurant name was a stylized depiction of a cluster of oak leaves and acorns.

“Well, here we are,” Ambrosia stated. “I don’t know about you, but I’m hungry. I skipped breakfast since I had a lot to take care of this morning before you arrived.” She blushed a bit as her stomach chose at that moment to growl.

I just smiled and made no mention of it, instead walking to the front entrance and holding open the door for her. “After you, Miss Ambrosia.”

Ambrosia’s blush faded a bit as she gave me a gracious nod before stepping through the doorway. I followed after her, wondering if perhaps I was going overkill with the gentlemanly behavior. I mean, sure, it was in my job title, but still…

Well, only time would tell, I suppose.

Upon entering the establishment, the maître d’ verified our reservation and had a brief conversation with Ambrosia. Like Ambrosia had said, she and the unicorn mare maître d’ were indeed friends. After talking about what sounded like a story from a recent class reunion, the maître d’ gestured for us to follow her to a table inside an enclosed booth. After we were seated, we were promptly greeted by a young man who couldn’t have been older than twenty. He gave us a list of the day’s specials, and even offered me a menu with popular French cuisine options. After a brief look over the menu, though, I declined, stating I’d be fine with what was already available on the Prench menu.

I ordered, at the waiter’s recommendation, the mushroom risotto. Apparently, one of the chefs working here had just started, and she was a master of the dish. It was likely just the boy trying to talk up the restaurant, but hey, I gave him credit for selling me on it.

Ambrosia ordered a creamy chestnut and mushroom soup and a large salad with vinaigrette and crumbled cheese on the side. To finalize the order, we ordered a bottle of white wine… a chardonnay or moscato, if I remember right.

As we waited for our food, I decided to break the ice. “So, Ambrosia, how’s the family doing?”

“Oh, wonderful. My brother is an architect and his wife is studying theater while teaching music to grade schoolers right now. They’ve been keeping plenty busy with things.”

“Architecture and building sounds like a thing in your family,” I noted with a smile.

“Oh no, it’s just my brother and I, really. My parents own a small orchard and vineyard in northern Trottingham. It’s been in the family for a generation or two, but I’m not all that interested in running it. As of right now, my parents plan on letting one of my older cousins take over when they’re too old to work it any longer.” She sighed, “To be honest, my talent would make you think otherwise, but I don’t have much of an interest in tending to an orchard and vineyard all year. It makes decent bits, but I’m not the kind of mare who likes the quiet country life.”

“What is your special talent, if you don’t mind me asking?” I asked.

She chuckled. “Cider.”

“Really?” I raised my eyebrows.

“I know, right? You think I’d be right at home on an apple orchard, but nope.” She laughed. “My parents have supported me and my choices, but every now and then when I visit they try to convince me to come back home and take over the family business. We don’t have much in the way of cider production aside from a small cider press, so it’s not enough to start anything large scale.”

“You don’t strike me as someone from Trottingham, actually. The region’s accent is pretty noticeable, at least from what I noticed with the few ponies I’ve met from the area.”

“Mm. Shortly after I got my cutie mark, my parents spent a few years living in the suburbs outside of Manehattan area, helping my aunt and uncle with their own farm. I had an accent at one point, but it sort of faded with the years I spent here.” She grinned as she continued. “I could probably muster up a bit of Trottingham if you want to hear it, though.”

“I’m a sucker for accents, Ambrosia. I’d love to hear it,” I replied.

“Okay…” she said with a laugh. “Be warned, though, it’s way different from what I normally talk like these days.” She cleared her throat as she continued. “Now, mind yeh, I don’t normally speak like this. M’folks, though, they speak with what you’d call a ‘West Trotty’ accent. Round vowels, often what you hear from the families ‘round those parts. Green pastures, lots o’ beautiful hills in the countryside to run amok when yer a lil’ filly.”

I grinned. “Wow, it’s like you turned on a switch. Lovely accent, though, Ambrosia.”

She nodded as she continued to speak with her old accent. “Thank you kindly, Darren. There’s not just farms out where I’m from, though, mind you. The ol’ West Trottingham University is there, too. It’s a beautiful scen’ry to admire when you’re visitin’.” She rolled her eyes as she continued. “'Course, some of the snobs in the bigger cities think that all the folk that talk with this accent are simple, slow-going folk without a lick o’ education, but they’re a bunch of bloody sod-eaters fer thinkin’ that way. It’s like sayin’ Royal Ribbon’s an uptight floozy who lives most of her life behind the city walls just because she speaks with a heavy Upper Canterlot accent. You can’t just lump all ponies into one group because of something as simple as the way folks talk.” She paused a moment, and cleared her throat. “Wow, it’s been awhile since I’ve let myself slip into that accent, heh. I was starting to get riled up there.”

“It kind of reminded me of Samwise Gamgee from the Lord of the Rings film series.” I laughed as she blushed. “It’s not a bad thing; it’s like you said, an accent you hear in the western lands of Trottingham, where there are lots of farming communities and the like.” I leaned forward a bit, and whispered. “It was pretty attractive-sounding, too, not going to lie.”

Ambrosia stammered a bit, her blush returning in full force. “W-wait, really?”

“Oh yeah,” I smiled. “While you have a lovely voice as it is… I liked hearing a bit of that side of you.”

Ambrosia’s gaze dropped to the table, her cheeks beet red now. “Th-thank you.”

Accent or not, though, Ambrosia was still easy to tease. I may or may not have been enjoying that.

“So, aside from Trottingham, have you lived most of your life in Manehattan?”

“Oh, goodness, no!” She sighed. “I’ve lived all over the place after I completed secondary school. I’ve been to Vanhoover, Las Pegasus, I even lived up in the Crystal Empire for a year shortly after it reappeared. A part of the construction crew that I worked with was there to help the locals with updating their buildings. Some of the buildings weren’t up to par with Equestrian building codes and standards, so we helped a few families that needed renovations and such. I actually was part of the team that made out the updated building standards they use.”

“Sounds like you’re a rather worldly mare, Ambrosia. I’m a little jealous, actually.”

“Oh, well, I’ve never really left Equestria itself. The Crystal Empire, while technically it’s own entity, has strong ties and history with Equestria, and Princess Cadance was born and raised in Equestria as far as I know.” She gave a small shrug. “If there’s any place I’d like to visit outside of the country, it’d be someplace like Arnau. The city is breathtaking, or so Ribbon has told me.”

“My brother’s military unit spent a lot of time in Gryphon. I’m pretty sure he’s been to Arnau at least once or twice. He’d agree.” I sighed, “The guy’s not as much of a cultural nut as I am, though. He’s all about trying the local cuisine.” And apparently trying out the locals themselves. I added silently, attempting to hold back a chuckle.

“What?” Ambrosia asked in amusement, noticing my stifled laughter.

“Nothing, just… memories of my idiot brother,” I replied.

I looked her over once more. I have to admit, the simple yet flowing design of her dress was fitting for her. She didn’t strike me as the type of mare who liked wearing overly fancy dresses and attire you would see in places like Canterlot, but at the same time, like most folks, she probably enjoyed getting dolled up on occasion. “I’m amazed by how ponies can make such detailed outfits while lacking opposable thumbs and fingers.”

She smiled as she admired her dress. “Coco really did a fine job with this, didn’t she? I promised to recommend her to my friends and the girls back at work. Considering how short-notice it was, she outdid herself.”

“Coco?” I repeated with a lopsided grin.

“Coco Pommel, actually,” Ambrosia answered. “She’s a young mare who’s been in the fashion industry for a few years now… well, sort of. She’s more focused along the line of theater attire, but she still runs a fashion line on the side. She couldn’t have been older than her late teens or early twenties when she started out, which says a lot about her skills.” She leaned close and whispered. “I’ve heard rumors that she’s friends with Lady Rarity, too. I’m not much of a gossip when it comes to fashion and such, but those two are some of the biggest names in the business right now.”

I just continued to listen with rapt attention as she went on to tell of her time in Manehattan and her time growing up in the large metropolis. I had barely noticed the time fly by until we were interrupted as our food arrived. The waiter thanked us for our patience as he set down two wine glasses and a large bottle of wine. After asking if we needed anything further, he left us to our meals.

“So, I’m curious,” I began, digging into my mushroom risotto. “What made you want to work for Gentleman for Mares?”

Ambrosia took a delicate spoonful of her soup to her lips and blew on it gently to cool it off. “Well, aside from being out of a job, I suppose it was curiosity.” Her gaze became distant as a faint smile formed on her lips. “I… well, right before my accident, I met this young man. He was probably about your age, maybe a little older. He was helping with the relief efforts in Caleponia following the Cloven and was visiting Manehattan during a break between projects.” She sighed softly, her smile growing. “We met completely by chance at a café where my old apartment is, and well…” She tilted her head gently from the left to the right. “One thing lead to another, and it had been a while since I had been intimate with anyone.”

I grinned teasingly. “Was there a candlelight dinner and soft violins playing as you two shared a quiet meal overlooking the waterfront?”

She let out a snort of laughter. “Hardly. We visited a diner that I frequented as a young mare, and shared a milkshake and some fries, and afterwards we went to my place and…” At this point her voice became a soft whisper. “... had sex…”

“You sound embarrassed,” I said gently with a small hint of mirth in my voice.

“N-no, it’s just…” She shook her head. “I guess I get flustered about saying such things. Silly, isn’t it?” She gave me a shamefaced look.

“A little,” I replied honestly, but quickly added. “That’s not a bad thing, though. You’re a good mare from what I’ve seen so far, Ambrosia. Some folks just worry about sounding indecent a little more than others. It doesn’t make you less mature, especially since you’re willing to share this with me.” I arched an eyebrow. “So, did you two hit it off after that, or was it a one-time thing?”

Her smile fell, “Sadly, he had to leave the following day. We had no real way to stay in touch; I didn’t have an e-mail, he didn’t have a phone that worked within Equestria, and neither did I. I gave him my address if he ever wanted to write, but…” She shrugged. “He was nice, but I think both of us knew it wasn’t anything serious. We were both curious, young, and driven by hormones.”

“Mammals tend to be that way,” I joked, earning an eyeroll from her.

“Still, I guess that had been the trigger to set me off. Shortly after that, I had my accident that injured my leg, lost my job after my disability ran out, and one of my friends recommended I try out Gentleman for Mares after I had spilled the beans about my one-night stand.”

“And here we are,” I said, gesturing with a hand. “I’m glad I got you for an instructor, Ambrosia. If it weren’t part of the job, I’d say you were pampering me.”

“Who says that’s not part of my reason for bringing us here?” She gave me coy smile and winked. “I’m setting the bar for Pizzelle and Ribbon, after all.”

“Oh?” I asked, leaning back a little and setting down my silverware. I couldn’t stop the amused grin from forming on my lips at that point.

“Now, don’t get me wrong, the three of us are friendly, but…” She looked away as her smile grew. “We may be trying to compete. A little.”

“Really? What’s the prize?” I asked, whispering in a soft whisper, smirking a bit.

“You’ll know before too long, I’m sure,” she purred, only to break out into a giggle when I gave her an intrigued look. “Telling you now would spoil the surprise, Darren.”

“Maybe, but it might give you an advantage,” I replied.

“Oh, tempting…” she hummed. After a moment of pretending to think it over, she frowned and shook her head. “Sadly, I’ll have to decline. I don’t want to ruin the competition with the girls.”

“What if there’s a three-way tie?” I suggested.

Ambrosia laughed heartily at that. “Oh, Ribbon would love that!” She met my gaze and took a sip of her wine as she kept her eyes locked with mine. She licked her lips a bit and continued in a smoky whisper. “That would have to be the judge’s call, though, I suppose.”

“I guess you’ll have to convince him, then,” I shot back with confident smirk.

“I’ll just pretend that I’m not privvy to that bit of information that would give me an advantage, then.”

Taking a sip of my own wine glass, I nodded. It sounded like a challenge had been issued, and I was willing to meet it head on.

After our meals had been finished and we polished off a generous portion of the wine, we found ourselves wandering the park of Manehattan. There were only a few clouds out that night, so we had a relatively clear view of the darkening night sky. Much like any major city back on Earth, though, the light made it difficult to see any of the first stars that were beginning to dot the sky.

Not that it bothered me, really. Not when I had the company of Ambrosia.

“You’re serious?”

“Yes, I don’t know what she was thinking, trying to use balloons to support the metal and wood structure. I had to literally remove her from the area before she got someone injured, or worse,” Ambrosia said with a sigh. “The other time we were working on a project, my crew and I almost got crushed underneath a few tons of wooden supports. Luckily, some masked pony with a cape and hat managed to save us. You could have taken the scene right out of a comic book!”

“... okay, now I know you’re pulling my leg,” I chuckled.

“I’m not joking, seriously!” Ambrosia said, despite her laughter. “That town is just a magnet for weird things, Darren, I’m telling you.”

The two of us stopped at a park bench and took a seat. An old gas street lamp bathed us in its gentle glow as the chorus of crickets filled the air.

“You wouldn’t think that we’re in the middle of Equestria’s biggest city with how quiet it is right now…” I whispered.

Ambrosia was leaning against my side while I draped an arm over her. She let out a hum as she stared up into the night sky with me. “For all the ridicule it receives, Manehattan still has plenty of things to be proud of. Sure, it’s a noisy city, but some folks like the background noise. Honestly, for me, the silence of the countryside at night gets to me. Even if it’s crowded, Manehattan ponies take a certain amount of pride in being helpful and friendly when we can afford to. City life is hard, but we strive to try and remember what it means to be a community and not just a mess of businesses and apartments.”

“I wish more major cities back where I’m from were like that. I’m of the mindset that every person has the potential to do good, but… at the same time it seems like sometimes humans are of the mindset of keeping to themselves in big cities. It can be hard to want to help total strangers or trust someone you’ve never met before when you hear of all these stories of people getting mugged, beaten, or worse…”

“Well,” Ambrosia said softly. “What about all the stories there are of humans helping each other after natural disasters? Princess Twilight has given tons of examples of humans coming together to help one another. You could say that your own brother is an example of that kind of mentality, even. He’s a Marine from Earth, yet he went all the way to Gryphon to help protect complete strangers.”

I smiled at that. “You’re right, Ambrosia. It’s just so much easier to focus on the negative, I guess. Humanity is affected much more easily by a tragedy than an uplifting story about a group of people helping a coastal community recover after a storm, or finding a cure for a virus afflicting a community, or providing medical supplies to areas that need it. Bad things just tend to stick to our memories better in a lot of cases.”

“That’s why it’s important to treasure the good things,” Ambrosia added.

I hummed as I ran my fingers down her neck, earning a pleasant shiver from her. “I think Tellus was a bit of a wake-up call for humanity.” I met Ambrosia’s gaze as she raised an eyebrow in curiosity. “Ever since we encountered your world, the vast majority of human civilization has been making strives to improve itself. Admittedly, it’s probably so we look better for our Tellurian allies, but still, we’ve been looking at what needs fixing and taking strides in doing so.”

“Well, it’s not like Equestria doesn’t have its own share of problems, Darren. We’ve been dealing with a cultural stagnation for a long time now, along with lots of other issues. Though, you already heard a good deal of that from classes, I imagine.”

“Yeah, Luckette really drove home the problems with herd mentality in your society, not to mention Equestria’s difficulty in dealing with cultural change. I’m surprised you didn’t just lock up the portal on us after getting a glimpse of what we’re like as a species.”

Ambrosia’s smile fell a bit. “Darren, do you really think so little of your own kind?”

I leaned my head back and sighed heavily. “I… no. No, I don’t. It’s just the popular mentality of seeing more negatives than positives, I guess.” I offered her a lopsided grin. “I love my species, really, I do. We’re awesome, despite our shortcomings.”

She chuckled at that, and leaned forward to nuzzle my cheek. “Good. Because I know plenty of ponies who feel the same about you humans.”

“I’ll try and work on my outlook, then.” I chuckled as she gave my earlobe a playful nip. “You ponies sure have a lot of love to offer, I’ll give you that much. Some of it is bound to rub off onto humanity in time.”

Ambrosia gave me a demure smile as she pulled away from my cheek. “A lot of love to offer, hm?” Her eyelids lowered as her her smile became hungry. “Well, you humans have been rather receptive of our hospitality, so you can’t put all the blame on us, can you?”

I chuckled as I pushed aside a loose lock of her mane. “Are you calling us enablers, Miss Ambrosia?”

“Mmm…” She leaned in close. I could smell the faint, tangy scent of wine on her breath. Not overpowering, but enough that it was pleasant to the senses. “Maybe. Still, you can’t blame us mares for pursuing something when it’s not trying to stop us…”

“I suppose you’re right. I’d be an idiot to turn away from a mare as beautiful as you, wouldn’t I?”

At this point, Ambrosia had both her forehooves draped over my shoulders. I willingly obliged to her advances and cradled the small of her back with my hands to keep her from falling off the bench.

“You have no idea…” she breathed into my ear, “how bad I’ve wanted this…”

Well, that was a quick change. A little sudden, but as I’ve been told, the Gentleman adapts to the needs of the client.

“Shall we head back to the hotel, then?” I whispered into her ear, only for my breath to hitch as I felt her velvety tongue run along my neck. I groaned as her teeth gently nipped at the skin beneath my jawline.

My hands gripped the fabric of her dress as she continued to pepper my neck with kisses and love bites. She hummed pleasantly when I squeezed her flanks just hard enough to make her jump a bit.

“L-lower,” she whispered again. “Please…”

Her tail was smacking against my knees while her haunches rested on my lap. She slowly ground her hips against the growing bulge in my pants. She let out a cute little moan every so often, and I could feel the heat coming from her nethers.

“Forgive me for putting you in such a situation, Miss Ambrosia.” Taking a page out of my book of experiences with Full Bloom, I softly bit on the tip of her ear. Her reaction was immediate, her voice catching in her throat as one of her back legs jerked a bit.

“Hey, Ambrosia?” I asked softly.

“Y-yes…?” she breathed.

“Are all ponies sensitive around the ears like this?”

“Mnnnn…it varies… but it’s a common spot for many ponies…”

I planted a few kisses along the ridge of her ear, slowly trailing down to her cheek and jawline. As I nibbled along the sensitive region of her neck, Ambrosia continued. “D-Darren… your hands…”

“H-huh?” I asked, loosening my grip. “S-sorry, did you want me to let go of—?”

“No…” she replied with a patient smile and a hoof pressing against my lips. She looked around the park for a moment, then returned her attention to me. “Hold on to me for a second.”

Ambrosia adjusted herself on my lap, turning so that her back pressed against my stomach while her tail now draped to one side. She reclined back, her neck and mane pressing against my cheeks and nose as she attempted to adjust her position a little. Eventually, she managed to rest her neck against my shoulder, letting out a content hum as she nuzzled me. Her hoof gently grasped onto my right arm, and guided it down, past her navel. I noticed a marked increase in heat coming off of her as she placed my hand just above the spot where her inner thighs were. “You misunderstand me, Darren. I don’t want you to stop…” She lifted the hem of her dress for a moment while taking my other hand and placing it where her teats were, then pulled the dress back down to cover herself, “I want you to use your hands…”

“I…” Without thinking, I groped the flesh around her teat in my hand, earning a coo of approval from her. I let out a shaky breath, one part nerves, one part arousal. By now, I didn’t doubt she felt the veritable tent I was pitching in my pants, and I wasn’t able to ignore the growing damp spot in my lap that I knew for a fact wasn’t from me.

Slowly, I let one of my fingers snake its way towards her inner thighs, only to pause when I hit a thin barrier. I raised an eyebrow, and chanced a peek over Ambrosia’s shoulder.

“Ambrosia… is that… are you wearing a g-string?” I whispered, even as I glanced down at the answer that was right before my very eyes.

She turned to meet my gaze with a turn of her neck, and offered me a sheepish smile as her cheeks flared up. “I-I heard from some of the girls at work that humans like seeing ponies in clothing… I thought I’d… take it a step further and wear this, too.”

I smirked a little. “Well, your friends were right,” I growled a little as I pressed my lips against her neck, earning a squeal of delight from her. “Because that is probably one of the hottest thing I’ve ever seen since I came to Equestria.”

With a deft movement of my fingers, I pushed aside the patch of fabric covering her marehood. She was trembling in arms now, her breaths shaky and heated.

“Ambrosia? I want you to know right now that I’ve enjoyed this day with you so far… and I look forward to what we’ll be doing for the rest of this evening.” I planted a hard kiss along her neck as she mewled softly. “Now… with your permission, I’d like to demonstrate a little bit of what I managed to learn from reading those papers you asked me to look over on my way here from Hoofington.”

“Y-yes! Oh, Celestia, please, yes!” she gasped as my index finger traced a line along the delicate folds of her entrance.

“Are you sure?” I asked, my voice just above a whisper. “We’re in a public park, and there’s a chance someone could see us…”

“I-I know,” she replied. “Please, just… just don’t leave me like this.”

I had to admit, until just now, it hadn’t really occurred to me that there was a very real risk of getting caught in the middle of our act. Sure, it was the evening, but who’s to say some young couple wouldn’t be strolling by and stumble across our little session? I’d never done anything like this before, and I had been too caught in the moment with Ambrosia to realize what was happening.

Though, seriously? I couldn’t deny the small sense of thrill I got from our predicament. We were in a rather isolated part of the park, yes, but the chance still existed. Ambrosia didn’t seem to care all that much, though, and her emboldened behavior was contagious.

“Very well, Ambrosia.”

Without further prompting, I slid a single digit into the folds of her marehood. She stiffened immediately, and I gave her a moment to adjust.

“O-okay…” she whispered.

I slowly began sliding my finger in and out of her entrance, steadily easing it further as a slick fluid began to coat my hand. A strong, musky scent with a hint of something familiar hung in the air.

“O-oh yes, yes…” she whispered hoarsely as I added a second and third digit.

I smiled and pressed my face against her mane as she nuzzled against me. “I never would have thought a mare as sweet and thoughtful as you could be so risqué, Ambrosia.” I gently nipped at an ear, earning a soft moan from her as her forelegs tightened around the arm holding against me. “I like it, though, don’t get me wrong.”

Ambrosia was apparently at a loss for words, having resorted to moans and gasps, peppering in my name every so often as I continued to pleasure her dripping slit. By now, my pants were thoroughly soaked around the lap area, but I could not have cared less. All that mattered at present was the mare beside me and the dexterity of my right hand.

“Hey, Ambrosia,” I asked, my voice muffled by her fur as I gave her a gentle kiss on the back of the ear.

“H-huh…?” she managed to breathe out.

“You want to know what makes humans so awesome?”

I felt her nod weakly. “Y-yes, please!”

I chuckled in genuine amusement. “Opposable thumbs.”

I rubbed my thumb against the hard nub above her entrance, pleased to hear another throaty moan escaped her. “Ohhhhhh, fuck, Darren! Yes, yes!”

Heavens above help me, hearing her swear like that was sexy.

“D-Darren…” she said with a shaky breath. “Y-you have two hands… w-what happened to the one right here…?” She slowly moved the hand that had been kneading her teats and gave them a firm squeeze with a hoof. “P-put those opposable thumbs to work, stud…”

Yes, ma’am!

I let out a murmur of agreement and began tracing her jawline with light kisses while the hand in her grasp began to tease her teats. Her barrel was rising and falling rapidly now, and I could feel the inner walls of her pussy constrict around my fingers. I hadn’t even realized that at some point I had slipped all four digits in while my thumb was continuing to pleasure her clit.

Okay, I know that earth ponies have crazy endurance, but even Mel would have been a stuttering mess at this point back when we were dating…

With that thought in mind, I renewed my assault on her neck and lips. She returned my kisses with a fervent, desperate enthusiasm, and her hips were grinding hard against my groin. The fact that she was intentionally pressing down upon my erection was making it hard to remain focused, but us Halversons are known to be a stubborn bunch. I was no exception in that regard.

“D-Darren…” Ambrosia murmured as she parted her lips from mine. “I… I’m going to cum…”

“Go ahead, Ambrosia…” I whispered huskily. “Do it. Cum for me.”

“H-harder,” she squeaked out, her body going rigid. I obliged to her request, dipping my digits deep into her dripping folds with an increased fervor while my thumb continued to tease at her nub. “I-I’m almost there, Darren. Just… oh, Celestia, oh…! Ohhhhh, ffffuuuu—!”

All at once, I felt something warm splash against my hand. Numerous flecks of liquid caught my eye in the lamplight as her marecum hit the pavement of the sidewalk in front of us. A few smaller waves followed her initial orgasm as she held my arm in a vice-like grip with her forelegs. Her moans filled the air as she shuddered, only ending after several long moments had passed. A small puddle had formed in front of our seat. The strong, tangy scent of her fluids filled the air as I continued to hold her close, keeping her steady as she slowly came down from her high.

“Hah… hah… oh…” she breathed. “I… that was…”

“Holy shit…” I whispered profoundly. “Damn, Ambrosia, that was the most intense orgasm I’ve ever seen…”

Ambrosia gave me a shaky smile. “R-really?”

“Really. Looks like you’re a squirter, too.”

She flushed in the cheeks from that, her face a beet red. “Wh-what?”

“A squirter. It’s… a human term, I guess?” I shrugged while flashing her a smile. “Not everyone orgasms with the same intensity.”

Ambrosia managed to quirk an eyebrow at that. “R-really?”

“Yeah. Well, especially with women, it doesn’t happen every time during sex. My girlfriend apparently made it a hobby of sorts to study that stuff while we were going out… made for some weird conversations when we…” I cleared my throat and went on. “A-anyway, it can be hit or miss sometimes… which, I have to say, must suck at times…” I shook my head. “Anyway, off topic, but yeah… I believe most would agree that you’re a squirter.” I planted a kiss on her muzzle as she hummed softly. “And that’s hot.”

She smiled sheepishly as her gaze shifted down to my pants and the cuffs of my suit. “I’m really, really sorry about the mess…”

I waved it off. “Don’t be. I loved every minute of it.” I looked around for a moment, and added. “Not to mention we totally just did that out in the middle of a public park.” I laughed, “That’s definitely a first for me.”

Ambrosia’s eyes widened in realization. “Oh sweet Luna, you’re right!” She adjusted her undergarments and tried fixing the wrinkles in her dress as she pulled it down. “Y-you don’t think anyone saw us, do you?”

“If they did, they got a good show.” When her frown worsened, I quickly added. “I’m pretty sure we’re fine. This park is huge, like you said, and I didn’t see anyone around the park while we were walking through here earlier.

She let out a weary sigh, “I suppose there’s no helping it, either way.” She scooted off my lap and settled for leaning against me. I saw her eyes traveling down my body, resting on my lap, or more specifically, my still very-hard erection restrained by my pants. “Need some help with that?”

I waved a hand. “I can manage. Let’s save it for the hotel.”

“You sure?” She asked with a fake pout.

“Positive,” I replied, fighting down the instinct to throw my pants off right then and there.

Ambrosia just smiled demurely as a hoof gently glided down the fabric of my suit and pants. “If you’re sure… I suppose we can wait…” She giggled as I felt my face heat up. “Not to tease, but it’s adorable how you were acting all smooth earlier, and now you’re getting all flustered.”

“H-hey, I didn’t do that bad, did I?” I laughed, letting out a gasp as her hoof ventured further south, her hoof attempting to cup the family jewels beneath the fabric.

“Mmm, no. I could tell you were acting a little, but, that’s to be expected, to an extent.” She ceased with her teasing, and placed both hooves against my chest while leaning up. “For what it’s worth, Darren, you did very well when it came to handling things.”

I blinked. “Wait…”

“Hm?”

“You mean… you planned on us doing this out in public?”

She looked away for a moment. “W-well… maybe…”

I couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow. “You’re one shrewd little minx, Miss Ambrosia. And here I thought you were just a cute, innocent little mare looking to give me some dating advice.”

She snorted. “You think I am bad, you ought to see Royal Ribbon at her worst.”

“Don’t you mean her best?” I asked.

“Same difference,” she giggled.

After Ambrosia’s legs finally were strong enough to keep her upright without wobbling, we made our way back to the hotel. I couldn’t help but notice that Ambrosia seemed to be moving just a tad faster than her previous gait when we had been walking through town.

She seems rather eager!

The Gilded Willow greeted us with the soft sound of its fountain spraying water into the air and letting it cascade down, back into the pool. Lights shined upon the willow tree in the front yard of the hotel, and a stallion gave us a cordial greeting as he opened the door to the front entrance for us. Ambrosia was taking the stairs up to our room three at a time.I struggled to hold back a tremor of laughter every time I was greeted to the sight of her impatiently for me waiting for me at each landing of the stairwell. Thankfully, our room was only on the third floor, so the trip didn’t take too long for us. As soon as we made our way through the door leading to our floor, she took off at a light canter down the hall.

As I turned down the hall where our room was, I found Ambrosia fiddling with the key to her room. She was grumbling something about sticky locks as she jiggled the key a bit, letting out a satisfied grunt when the door finally opened for her. She did a little impatient dance in place as I neared the room.

“C’mon, Darren,” she whispered, nudging me in with her muzzle as I crossed the threshold leading into our room. She shut the door behind me with a soft click and turn of the lock, and she giggled as I met her gaze. “I-I… sorry, I’m coming on a little strong, aren’t I?”

“A little…” I replied, slowly unbuttoning my suit. “I don’t mind it, though. I like enthusiasm and eagerness.”

Ambrosia watched me with a hunger in her eyes, licking her lips every few moments while her hooves continued to lift and fall as she stood in place. Her tail was swishing so violently that I was worried she might snap it off.

I continued to undress at my slow and steady pace, taking my time to neatly place the suit on a coat hanger and put it in the closet. I took of my pants next, and heard a soft whine from Ambrosia as I slipped it onto the hanger as well.

Yes, I may have been teasing her. I felt only a little bad about it, though.

I made my way back to the bed and began to remove my t-shirt when the sound of hooves crossing the carpeted floor reached my ears. I turned around in time to be tackled onto the bed. I looked up to see Ambrosia’s face centimeters from my own. I noticed she had taken her horseshoes off, and she now had her back legs intertwined with my own.

“You were teasing me.” It was a statement. Not a question.

“Guilty as charged,” I replied with a wink.

Her smile transformed into a pout. “It’s not nice to tease, Darren.”

“Would it help my case if I thought you looked cute dancing in place like you were just a few seconds ago?”

“...maybe…”

“Or, maybe, if I told you that I seeing you in that dress and g-string really turned me on…?”

“Better…” she said with a seductive wiggle of her hips.

“Maybe if I mention that I’ve been looking forward to this since I saw you in your dress?”

“Warmer…” she continued as one of her hooves drew a slow circle across my clothed chest.

“Okay… how about if I told you that you’re making a good point with the teasing by grinding against my boxers right now?”

That earned a pleased smile from her, and she closed the distance between us by planting a kiss on my forehead. “Good. You’ve learned your lesson.” She lifted her back legs up and glanced down at my boxers, smirking as she noticed my erection pressing against the fabric. “For what it’s worth, Darren, you did a nice job at the teasing while you were undressing. I enjoyed it.” She got off of my chest and turned around so that her hindquarters were facing me. I must have had quite the expression on my face, since she started giggling the moment she slowly rocked her hips from side to side, her tail swaying with each movement.

With no small amount of effort, I pried my gaze away from her hindquarters and looked to her. She gave me a playful wink and wiggled her hips a little more. “Why don’t we start with something standard?” She batted her eyelashes at me coyly. “I’ll show you the missionary first.”

“Uh, r-right,” I replied, watching her tail flag a bit as I sat up. “Um… so, what, do I lay you on your back and—”

“Oh, right, sorry,” she giggled. “No, I’m talking about the pony missionary position.”

Memories of the instructional paper that I had read over on the flight into Manehattan came back to me. “Ohh, right. Pony-style, got it.”

She arched an eyebrow and snickered. “Pony-style?”

“Well, yeah. I mean, calling it doggystyle isn’t quite accurate, but it’s close. Missionary, for humans, at least, is with both the woman and man looking at each other, stomach to stomach.”

She nodded. “I’m familiar with the basic positions. Usually, stomach to stomach is considered pretty kinky to ponies.”

I frowned. “Really? I mean, it can be boring for people, sure, but I can see the appeal of being able to see the person’s face, you know?”

She gave me a small smile. “I’m not really sure why it’s considered kinky, Darren. Ribbon or Luckette could probably tell you why.” She looked down to my boxers again, and grinned. “Actually, lie down for a moment. I want to try something.”

With a nod, I reclined back and let my head rest against the headboard of the bed. Ambrosia walked across the bed and gently bit at the hem of my boxers. She slowly tugged down on them, eventually freeing my manhood from the confines of my clothes. She let go of my boxers at that point, and stared at my erection as it stood proudly before her.

The only warning I got was a small hum of approval, and she quickly leaned in and wrapped her lips around my shaft. I groaned as my length was enveloped in the warmth of her mouth, and I barely held back the urge to thrust as she slowly took me in.

“Oh fuck,” I leaned forward, placing a hand on the side of her face, if only to distract myself from releasing right away.

Ambrosia had both eyes closed as she began to noisily fellate me. I bit down on my lip as she took in my entire erection, and held it there for several long moments. In the haze of it all, I met her gaze as she opened a single eye. She gave me what I believe to be a smile, and I felt her tongue run up my length as she slowly took me out of her mouth, leaving only the tip between her lips. Her tongue teased me for a few seconds, and by now I was about ready to burst.

And then, suddenly, she pulled me out of her mouth completely and wiped her lips with a forehoof. “That…” she began, “was for everything you did for me at the park earlier.” She leaned forward and planted a gentle kiss on my forehead. “I don’t mind oral, personally, but I know a few of the girls at work are a bit squeamish about it.”

I managed a weak laugh as I slowly regained my senses. “I… appreciate the gesture, but… you didn’t need to ‘repay’ me for anything, you know.”

She just patted my cheek with a hoof. “I know, Darren. I just wanted to see how you tasted before we started the lesson.” Once more, she turned around, this time her tail was flagging fully, the only thing between us a thin layer of red fabric from the pony-style g-string she wore. “Now… whenever you’re ready, we’ll begin your lesson.”

The following hours were absolute bliss—and education—for me. Ambrosia kept to her word; we practiced a few positions in the hours that we went at it, and between ‘sessions’, we kept ourselves hydrated with some juice and water from the mini-fridge in the room. Apparently, Ambrosia received the bottles from the Manehattan Gentleman for Mares headquarters, and she told me that they contained a light mixture of what ponies called ‘boosters’.

Long story short, boosters were a liquid solution—some called them potions, others considered them more along the lines of a drug, like viagra or what have you. Whatever the case, they had magic in them, and were widely used by Gentlemen as a means to help increase stamina among other things that are beneficial to sex. The mixture was apparently diluted to some extent, thus reducing their potency but still giving me something to help shorten my refractory periods, to put it bluntly.

Speaking of, while the sex was nice, I also liked the breaks where we just talked. They let us recover and review what I had learned. She was genuinely interested in getting to know me, and I’d be lying if I wasn’t starting to see her as something more than an acquaintance. She was friendly, cheerful, and incredibly fun to tease. That and she loved to intertwine her legs as best as she could with my own.

Currently, we were reaching the end of our last session; a review of the missionary position. Both of us had lost the rest of our clothes in the midst of our romp through the bed sheets, thus leaving me with only her rump to hold onto as I neared my climax.

“O-o-okay,” Ambrosia squeaked. “I-it’s important to go deep here, s-so—oh, buck yes—so… mmff… don’t forget… unnh!”

I gave a nod that she couldn’t see, and leaned forward while burying myself within her up to the hilt. I groaned as I felt her muscles contract around me while I released into her. I bit down gently on her neck while she let out a shuddering gasp. Her back legs wobbled, and I mercifully picked myself up and gently helped her plop onto the bed, my arms supporting her weight as she did so.

Her glistening marehood winked every few moments as she lay on her side, her barrel rising and falling as she recovered from our final session. She gave me a small smile as I lie down beside her back and wrapped my arms around her stomach.

“Very… very good, Darren…” she said before laughing. “What’d you call the Wagon Rider, again?”

I chuckled quietly, “Reverse Cowgirl.”

She giggled at that. “I’m sorry, I get the human context, but I’m just picturing this old cow I know back in Trottingham every time I hear that. She’s got a few grandcalves, but picturing her doing this…” she giggled some more, “I think the poor dear would break something.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t break something of mine,” I said with a light nibble on her ear. “I know you earth ponies are strong, but… wow.”

She rolled over to face me, and gave me a challenging smirk. “Can’t handle this, huh?” She gave one of her flanks a light smack with a hoof.

“Do I get an ‘A’ for effort, at least?”

“Mm. You get an A-, but that’s still good in my book.” She pushed aside a lock of my hair and whispered. “Luckily, having a marefriend doesn’t count as cheating when it comes to learning these things.”

“Mm. I imagine Full Bloom will be happy with the results from these lessons,” I replied with a yawn. “And what do you mean by A-, anyway?”

“You forgot to tug my tail when I told you to go harder earlier.” She stuck her tongue out at me as I snorted in amusement.

“I never took you to be such a sassy filly, Ambrosia.”

“Save your opinion for after you’ve had a date with Ribbon.”

“I’ll take the advice, then,” I murmured as she snuggled up against me. “What time do we have to be up by?”

“Nine in the morning,” she answered. “That’s considered a bit late compared to how early you’ll usually be waking up, by the way.”

“Mmph. Better enjoy this while I can, then.” I pulled her close as she let out another string of tired giggles. I pulled the sheets over us and sighed contentedly as she rested her chin in the crook of my neck.

“Goodnight, Darren.”

“G’night, Ambrosia.”

I closed my eyes and smiled as my exhaustion finally caught up with me. Within moments, the steady breathing of Ambrosia could be heard. I let sleep take me shortly after, my dreams filled with scenery of a particular Trottingham-born mare running through a familiar park in Manehattan.

End of Chapter Nine

Author's Note

So, after a rather long hiatus from writing, I return to you all with another chapter of our hero Darren's escapades in the world of Gentleman for Mares. From what it seems, he's off to a rather nice start as far as 'field experience' goes. Good for him, I suppose!

I'd like to thank my ~~clop-writing enablers~~ pre-readers Firesight, AJ Aficionado, and Silent Woodfire, who provided comments and corrections where needed. I've been trying to keep ahead as far as writing goes, so while this chapter is published now, I actually have about another chapter and some change already written out. It'll need polish and the like, but it's a good way to stay ahead and not be without something to build off of in the following chapters.

Also, I'd like to give a sincere thanks to Demon Eyes Laharl, who helped mold the Gentleman for Mares world that several stories are based off of. He's been a big help since I started this story all those months back. He, along with the aforementioned pre-readers, have been a huge help with this piece. So, thanks, guys.

Finally, thanks to all of you who have been keeping up with this story, as well as my other works. I know it's been a long time since I updated anything of mine. Work dominates a lot of my time now, but I have been on a bit of a streak with writing as of late. If I continue with my current trend, I should have some more for this story, at the very least, written out before long!

Until we meet again, keep on keeping on, everyone!

A Brief Respite

Gentleman in Training

by Denim_Blue

Chapter Ten: A Brief Respite

Waking up the following morning proved to be a harder task than I had expected. I was sore, but… well, thatwas to be expected, given what last night’s activities had consisted of. That wasn’t quite why I was having trouble stirring from the boundary between consciousness and being awake, though.

No, it was the fact that I was so damned comfortable that made it difficult for me to get out of bed. It was only thanks to my phone blaring the theme music of Ornstein and Smough at full volume that I managed to even crack an eye open and register that it was morning.

Ambrosia apparently had the same issue with waking up this morning, too. She whined in annoyance as the sun began to pierce through the drapes that we never bothered closing all the way last night.

“Celestia, why must you punish me…?” she grumbled, rolling over and throwing a pillow over her head.

I laughed at that. “Do you think she ever sleeps in?"

Ambrosia snorted. “I can’t say, but I do think that Princess Celestia either has a large bowl of coffee grounds and milk every morning to start her day, or she uses photosynthesis to wake herself up every morning. I mean, she makes the sun rise, and she’s got a pretty long track record of doing that every day. I don’t know how she manages it.”

“Yeah, can’t say I envy her,” I chuckled. “Well, it’s about nine o’clock. Want to grab some breakfast before we head back to Hoofington?”

Ambrosia lifted the pillow off her head and gave me a sleepy smile. “Breakfast sounds wonderful right about now.” The growling of her stomach only further emphasized her point. Her ears folded back as a particularly loud gurgle was made, and she covered her blushing face with her pillow once more. “Ugh, sorry. That was embarrassing…”

I laughed softly and lifted the pillow up to meet her soft green eyes. “I think the hotel has a continental breakfast right now until ten. If we hurry, we can get the last few muffins and fruit before they're all gone.”

After dressing into a fresh pair of pants and a shirt I had brought with me, the two of us headed down to the dining area on the first floor of the hotel. I was pleased to see that there was still a wide selection of food to choose from. They even had Twilight Sparkle Bursts cereal in small packages. I looked around carefully before grabbing three of them, tearing them open, and dumping them all into a bowl before flooding it to the brim with milk.

Ambrosia chuckled. “A fan of cereal, huh?”

“This stuff is like everything I loved about breakfast cereal as a kid, but with natural ingredients.” I pointed to one of the ripped packages. “One-hundred percent natural honey. Nothing artificial in this cereal as far as sweeteners go. They even list the providers of the stuff. I looked it up, the place is a legitimate bee farm out in southern Fillydelphia. The place is big, but they don’t skimp on quality or the welfare of their bees, either.”

“...I guess the cartoon picture of Princess Twilight with that oversized spoon in her magic is pretty cute.” Ambrosia took a package for herself as well as a bowl, and soon the two of us were eating cereal and blueberry muffins with a mug of coffee for each of us.

I skimmed over a copy of one of the local newspapers, raising an eyebrow as I scanned a particular article in the lifestyle section titled Gentleman for Mares Protests Continue.

I read it over with mild interest. The article had little in regards to new information outside of telling about another major protest in Las Pegasus regarding my company’s work. It had been a peaceful protest for the most part, aside from some harsh words that had been slung by a few individuals to Gentleman for Mares employees going to work.

“Silky’s been considering hiring us some security personnel,” Ambrosia said softly as she noticed what I was reading. “She’s pretty sure things won’t get too heated if the protests come to our place, but she’d rather be safe than sorry. Platinum Corona’s already given her approval on hiring a few able bodies.”

“Hm,” I set the newspaper aside. “You think that might be needed?”

“It’s… hard to say,” Ambrosia shook her head. She took a sip of her coffee and sighed, “Hoofington’s not the biggest city in Equestria, so we don’t get too much in the way of visitors or publicity. I think that’s part of the reason Platinum Corona chose the location.”

I smiled a little. “You think we’d have a few burly stallions watching the doors, then?”

She chuckled, “Maybe. That or maybe have some strong, handsome buffalo guards, or maybe a few griffins tiercels.”

“Yeah, griffins would be pretty cool…” I paused, a thought coming to mind. If my memory was correct, Riley was nearing the end of his service. I wasn’t sure on Mildred, but it’d be worth looking into. If anything, they might be able to recommend some griffins looking for work.

Thoughts for later, I suppose.

We finished our breakfast within a half hour and checked-out of our hotel shortly after. By the time we left the hotel, it was almost ten. I spotted the group of pegasus stallions that had brought me to Manehattan yesterday almost immediately, and flagged them down with a wave.

Crosswind, their apparent leader, gave me and Ambrosia a nod as he noticed us approach. “Good morning, Mister Halverson, Miss Ambrosia. Whenever you’re ready, we can depart for Hoofington.”

I gave Ambrosia a quick look, and she simply nodded. With that, I turned to the stallions and smiled. “I think we’re all set.”

“Alright, then. Just put your luggage in the trunk space and we’ll be off momentarily.”

In short order the carriage took off. Ambrosia was a little quieter than normal as we cruised through the sky, and seemed to be avoiding looking outside.

“You okay?” I asked

She jumped a little and gave me a wide-eyed look, “H-huh?”

“I was wondering if you’re alright,” I repeated. I offered her a disarming smile as she blinked dubiously.

“O-oh, right. Y-yeah, for the most part. I just…” She shook her head. “Not used to flying. Earth pony and whatnot.”

“Understandable.”

She slowly got up from her seat and sat on my side, scooting close to me. Without a thought, I lifted my arm so she could sit beside me.

“Thanks…” she said, just loud enough to be heard over the rushing air outside.

“Sure thing,” I said, rubbing her side comfortingly. “You took one of the airsickness potions, right?”

She nodded.

“Alright, just let me know if you start feeling dizzy or something.”

She leaned against me and said softly. “I think this is helping already.”

“Then I shall be your anchor until we land,” I chuckled as she nuzzled me. “So, are these lessons going to be a weekly thing now?”

“Yep,” she replied. “I think Ribbon wants to take you to Las Pegasus for all of next weekend, so keep that in mind. She’ll give you a heads up if things change so that you’re not scrambling to rearrange any plans you make. I’m not sure on Pizzelle, yet, but she mentioned something about Canterlot or Cloudsdale once the harvest season is done.” She leaned away a little as she continued. “Oh, I forgot to mention that, but I want you to read this before classes on Monday.” She reached behind the seats and dug into her saddlebag. She produced a pamphlet that she placed in my hands that was titled, Boosters: What You Need to Know.

“Boosters? Like the stuff I had to keep me going last night?”

“Yes, but keep in mind that those were diluted in juice and water. Pure boosters are much stronger, and there’s a risk of possible side-effects if you’re not careful with them.” Her expression became serious as she continued. “You’re a smart man, Darren, but I want you to promise me that you’ll listen to me here.”

I nodded. “Alright, I will.”

“The pamphlet can tell you more, but just know that boosters are perfectly fine to use so as long as you’re mindful of how much you take. Otherwise, you can seriously mess up your body if you’re not careful. Withdrawal and similar symptoms can result from overuse, and you can crash hard.”

“So, they’re like a drug?”

She sighed. “Yes and no. It’s also magic, and while I’m not a unicorn, I do know that magic can be volatile. Gentleman for Mares makes boosters through strict standards and procedures, though there are varying types of them that we produce. The point is that I’d rather you get your boosters, if you should choose to use them, from a safe source like work. The company is good about prices with them, and you can be happy in knowing there’s nothing added to them that might hurt you later on.”

“Hurt me…?” I repeated.

She nodded. “Boosters aren’t exclusive to Gentleman for Mares. There are other legitimate medical labs that create them outside of our own. However, that also means anyone with knowledge of chemistry and magic can make them as well. Black markets sell them for lower prices, and a lot of those boosters have added substances to them to heighten pleasure, give the user a sense of euphoria, and in some cases, affect biological processes to an extent and cause addiction. As a rule, the more magic and enchantments they have in them, the more potentially dangerous they are. Some have even been known to cause fatal addiction for first-time users.” She shook her head. “Just… promise me you won’t be stupid about this, okay?”

I smiled. “I promise, Ambrosia. Not like I’ll need boosters that often, though.”

She chuckled softly. “Maybe not, but while I might be a professional at rutting, I’m not a Royal Guard, or a Wonderbolt, or a Pony Games athlete. Earth pony or not, I don’t rut as hard as some of our clients do.” She gave me a playful wink. “Keep that in mind. There’s no shame in needing an extra boost, just try to be careful when you use them.”

“Will do.”

With the company of Ambrosia, time flew by even faster than it did during my trip to Manehattan yesterday. Now that Ambrosia was back in town, she was eager to have a few small weekend dates where she would go over some of the important lessons that didn’t involve bedroom misadventures. Things like getting a taste for different cuisine in Equestria, cider testing, and getting a taste of the culture of ponies.

We gained back about an hour of time from the trip, and I was pleased to see it was only a little after noon when the chariot touched down in front of the Hoofington headquarters.

“Thanks for the ride, guys,” I said, giving a nod to the four stallions. “That was probably the smoothest ride in a sky chariot I’ve had in ages.”

“Yeah?” Crosswind grinned widely at that. “If you really want to show your appreciation, put in a good word for us with Silky. I’m looking to expand my transport service, and I think this little office you have here would be a great start.”

Ambrosia beamed at that. “I’ll be sure to let Silky know, and let her know you four gentlecolts did a wonderful job.”

The four puffed out their chests a bit at the praise, and after a quick farewell, the four took off into the sky once more, likely heading back to their headquarters.

“So, anything planned for the rest of the day?” Ambrosia asked casually as she strapped her saddlebags over her back.

“Yep, I was planning on watching a movie with my marefriend and some other friends of ours, maybe do something special with Full Bloom after that.”

“Special, huh?” she repeated, giggling when I just gave her a cheeky grin.

“Full Bloom’s been nothing but wonderful. I figure it wouldn’t hurt to remind her about that.” I shrugged as Ambrosia smile grew. “I kind of owe it to her, even if she’d say otherwise.”

“Alright. I’ll probably see you sometime later this week, and I’ll be sure to pass on what we went over with Ribbon so she’ll have an idea of where you stand as far as skill and experience go.”

“Just a suggestion, but if you said something about how mind-blowing the sex was, I’d appreciate it,” I joked.

“Hm, well, that’s not too far from the truth, so I’ll be sure to give her some suggestions. Just be ready for her, Darren. She’s a bit of a hoof-full if you let her get her way with things…though, you might enjoy that. Who knows?”

With that, Ambrosia made her way down the road, putting a bit of a sashay into her hips as she walked.

Flaunt it if you got it, I suppose.

Chuckling to myself, I picked up my travel bag and made the trek back home. A gentle breeze tickled my face, a noticeable chill being carried along with it. I passed by a town bulletin board with the local weather schedule tacked onto it. A notice stating that the first wave of autumn weather would be approaching this week before the ‘official’ end of summer caught my attention briefly. Something about Cloudsdale needing to meet a quota for cold-weather cloud production before the end of the quarter as well as a need for some cooler days to help the local flora and fauna to acclimate to the drop in temperature.

“Cold-weather quota my ass,” I grumbled, making a note to test the heat for my apartment before the end of the month. “They’re probably just trying to get a head start before they fall too far behind on snow production again like last year…”

With thoughts of what might go wrong with my apartment's heating system this winter spinning through my head, I continued down the road towards my apartment. I could see the small balcony of my apartment, and all looked well as far as I could tell.

“Good, at least Full Bloom managed to keep the place intact while I was gone…”

A couple minutes later found me opening the door to my place, and was surprised to find it empty.

“Huh…” I set down my traveling bag and looked around. “Full Bloom? Riley?” I paused for a moment. “Mildred?”

No answer.

I walked through the living room, pausing as I noticed a sticky note on the small coffee table in front of my couch. I recognized the handwriting as Riley’s almost immediately.

Darren,

Went to town square for a bit with Mildred, we’ll be back before dinner time. Hopefully you’ll be back before we are, otherwise we’re sort of stranded outside of your place until you or Full Bloom return, since we don’t have a key.

In fact, why am I writing this if that is the case? I should be texting you.

Anyway, you want to get some lunch if you're back early enough? Full Bloom had to go run a few errands earlier today, said she’ll be back during the late afternoon. It’d be easier to get something from a restaurant and saving her some food than having to cook a late dinner.

Riley

P.S. - Full Bloom may have figured out the password to your computer after I managed to guess it. Seriously, man, having the actual phrase ‘insert password here’ is clever, but at least capitalize a word or put some punctuation in it to make it harder. She and Mildred started surfing the internet, and I felt like I was intruding on some girl talk after a while, so I let them be. I’m pretty sure they didn’t mess with anything on your computer, though. If so, I’ll take blame for any problems, okay?

I set down the note and made my way into the kitchen, only to pause as the last bit of the note caught up with my thoughts.

“Wait… Full Bloom figured out how to access...?” I sighed, “Aw, hell.”

I made my way back into the living room. Sure enough, there was a single soft green light that would light up for a few moments before fading out, indicating it was currently in sleep mode. With a hint of trepidation, I opened up my laptop and let it start up. As the screen turned on, I was greeted to an internet browser window.

The page that appeared was surprisingly… tame. Full Bloom and Mildred had apparently been looking up stuff on the ponynet regarding human culture. There was a wikipedia page that had covered general stuff, and the browsing history indicated they had been looking through tons of human culture pages from various sites for the better part of three hours.

A common theme had come up in the later portion of their searches, though.

Human+dating+practices. Human+Equestrian+dating+advice. Male+dating+culture.

Now, normally I’d be a little miffed that someone had accessed my private laptop without me knowing, but… well, I found myself more curious than anything. If my hunch was correct, Full Bloom was likely trying to figure out how to make our relationship work best for us. I had a strong suspicion that Mildred was probably giving her advice more than researching alongside her.

I wasn’t really bothered by our cultural differences considering we both knew each other well enough, but the thought still counted, I suppose. That and maybe Full Bloom figured it was only fair? I mean, I was learning about pony culture, especially as far as romance and the many social norms surrounding it. I guess she was only trying to pitch in.

Heck, if my history search was to be believed, she even browsed through the quickly growing reddit site created from for the Equestrian internet. Not sure if I was happy about that or not, given how those sites can be at times, but it was interesting nonetheless.

I randomly picked one of the pages on the browsing history list from the pony-reddit site, this one regarding human-pony relationships. It was aptly named /r/human-pony.

Advice for dating human male?
submitted 2 days ago by Eezpeez poneplz

Hi, /r/h-p, new member here! So, I have a need for some advice. I recently asked out this young man that lives a few blocks away from me in Manehattan, and he said yes! While I really like him, and we’ve known each other for a few months, I’m still not sure on how to go about this. I’m not afraid of trying out different things, but is there anything I should be ready for? Thanks!

Top 200 comments
MareAboutTwn 324 points
First off, congratulations! Just asking him out was probably enough to show that you’re interested in him, and you’d be surprised how much that can impact a human. Many of the cultures in the human world tend to be the opposite of ours: men tend do the initial courting in a relationship. Not always true or the usual case, mind you, since every human’s unique, and they have many different cultures back on Earth.

Anyway, you want advice? That’s a bit tough, but here’s some general tips:

1. Do. Not. Rush. Things! This is probably one of the most important tips to remember. Humans can be very private and personal as far as intimacy goes when compared to Tellurians, especially ponies. Many humans don’t mind playing around, to phrase it nicely, but keep in mind that there’s a difference between sex and love. They may not show it at first, but if they’re genuinely interested in getting to know you, they might not like rushing to the bedroom right away. Then again, maybe they will! You need to be the judge here, so it’s important to know your special someone’s feelings on the matter beforehoof.

2. Be ready to have things flipped around for you as far as dating practices go. Traditionally speaking, at least, most men are probably going into this relationship with the mindset of treating you to things more often than the other way around. Some might even be persistent on paying for most meals and other outings. Don’t be offended, but don’t be afraid to offer to pay. I guess it’s not uncommon for expenses to be split in lots of cases, and it's a lot more common for either male or female partners to pay the bill these days from what I understand.

3. Communication is key. If something is bothering you, tell them. In turn, let them know that you’re open to hearing them out as well! Trust me, honesty helps!Hope that helps, and good luck in your relationship!

Posiepony1 300 points
Be careful with magic around them if you’re a unicorn. My boyfriend literally started freaking out when I used my magic to lift up a chair he was sitting in to clean under it. I wasn’t even really thinking about it at the time. Though, I guess the fact my aura was surrounding him as well as the chair might contribute to him going crazy. He’s used to it now, though, but just be careful when you first start dating. Same goes for using your strength if you’re an earth pony, or flying around them if you’re a pegasus. Like MareAboutTown123 said, humans are very mindful of personal space in many cases. Be careful of that.

CometsFan4ever 50 points

Agreed. Magic seems to be the biggest issue with lots of relationships at first. For instance, my husband and I have been married for two years now, and he’s been living here in Fillydelphia with me for almost four years. He still gets uncomfortable when anypony mentions the princesses moving the sun or moon.

neighsayerz 61 points

Yet they have no trouble with the idea of space travel or black holes

ArnauProud 17 points

You think that’s awkward? Try explaining the concept of a round to them sometime. That’ll either scare them off or turn them on even more. This is from firsthand experience.

hayburgerznfriez 15 points

Kinky

ArnauProud 35 points

You don’t know kinky until you’ve seen some of the stuff humans have thought of as sexy. Seriously. I’m just glad my boyfriend was into the idea of a round after some talking it over.

hayburgerznfriez 28 points

Did your boyfriend serve in the military at any point? I have a griffin friend who’s been with a guy who was part of the group who fought off the Cloven. She’s been very happy in her relationship so far.

ArnauProud 7 points

No, my boyfriend was a journalist who was there to do some article on Gryphon after the fighting ended. I was a guard at the time, and was helping with relief efforts. We sort of hit it off after I met him outside of Arnau one day. For the record, I won the round, but he put up a great fight for someone with no military training.

CrystalCrux 312 points
Don’t be too offended if they randomly pet you. I’ve only dated women, but more than a few of them have done it to me, and they would be conscious of it only after doing it for a few minutes. I guess it’s sort of calming for a lot of them, like with a pet. I didn’t mind it, personally, but my fiancé felt really bad and thought she was being offensive or degrading at first. Some ponies don’t like it as much, though. That’s your call, but let them know from the get-go. To be honest, though, I don’t think it’s demeaning so much as affectionate, not to mention it feels good most of the time. Especially after we got more comfortable with each other <3

S4ndyshor3 270 points

How can anypony not like it? Seriously, the things humans can do with those hands. Not even unicorn magic can compare in most cases.

CrystalCrux 247 points

Gotta love those opposable thumbs, too!

The conversation continued on in a similar fashion, eventually spiraling off topic to a degree with each new comment. Still, it was a little reassuring that Tellurians and humans shared the gift of being unable to stay on topic.

I’d have to look into helping Full Bloom pick out a personal computer of her own in the future, though. The newest smartphones that were being sold in Equestria were better suited for Equestrian interface and magical resistance, so I can only imagine the same could be applied to computers as well.

Either way, Full Bloom could probably stand to have some sort of device to connect to the online world, if only for the benefit of information exchange. I made a mental note to do some early Hearth’s Warming shopping for her this year.

I was shaken from my thoughts by the chiming of my phone. I dug it out of my pocket and looked to see it was a text from Riley. With a swipe of my thumb, I opened up the text messaging screen.

You home right now?

I began typing out a reply as another message from him appeared.

By the way, if there’s anything wrong with your computer, I didn’t do it.

I let out a chuckle as I continued to type.

Yes, I’m home. I thought it over for a moment before adding, Speaking of my laptop, why is my internet browser open to griffin porn?

The little speech bubble with ellipses appeared, indicating Riley was typing, only for it to stop. For several long seconds, there was nothing, then…

Really? Anything good?

I shook my head, unable to stop a bout another bout of laughter.

Yes. Two eaglesses, a pegasus mare, and a woman going at it with each other, and the woman is wearing a studded strap-on. She’s really giving it to the mare while the eaglesses are sixty-nineing each other.

Riley replied, Wait, seriously? Bookmark that shit!

I snickered and began to type out more, only to be cut off by Riley adding, Mildred says you’re lying. She and Full Bloom didn’t look up anything like that. Jackass.

Sorry, couldn’t help it. Yeah, I’m home. You want to grab some lunch still?

It was a few minutes before my phone began ringing. Riley’s name showed up on the screen, so I answered.

“Hey," he said, "it’d be easier to just talk.”

“Right,” I agreed. “So, you two hungry right now?”

“Yeah, definitely,” Riley answered “So, Mildred saw this awesome place that looks like one of those old malt shops with the old car decals and stuff on the walls. I think there’s even a jukebox inside the place. She says it’s run by a pony and human couple; really great food, I guess.”

That sounded cool enough. “Sweet, you know the address?”

“Yep. It’s 335 Sunrise Lane. About a ten minute walk from your place, I think? The place is called The Trottingham Pitstop.”

“Alright, meet you there?”

“Sure, we’ll head over there right now—hm?” There was a pause, and I heard a voice talking in the background. “He wasn’t being serious when… well, fine, fine…” Riley chuckled. “Mildred says she’s got a friend or two back in Gryphon who’d probably be up for a good time with you and Full Bloom, if you two are ever interested.”

“Tempting,” I laughed. “I’ll have to remember that.”

“Just a word of caution; griffins do bite—ah! I was teasing, Milly, no need to get all flustered!”

“Alright. You two try not to rip each other to pieces until I get to the restaurant, okay?”

“No promises,” Riley finished, and then ended the call.

Those two were made for each other. In all honesty, I was very happy that Riley had found someone. A guy like him deserved someone to make him happy, and knowing him, he was doing everything he could to make Mildred happy as well.

I jotted down a quick note letting Full Bloom know where we were in case she got home early, and then I changed out of my clothes before putting on a fresh pair of clothes and made my way out once more.

Turns out Riley wasn’t joking about the malt shop atmosphere. The place was full of 1950s-themed decor, both from the U.S. and Equestria. Apparently, Equestria had a sort of similar period to Earth, minus a few things like muscle cars, leather jackets, and such. Still, the music was fairly similar in the two respective eras, and the staff seemed to genuinely enjoy sporting the attire from the period.

“Afternoon, folks!” replied a peppy pegasus mare who looked like she was just out of high school judging by her appearance. Her vibrant red and dark red mane was tied in a tight bun, and she wore an old-fashioned waitress outfit over her light red coat. I swore that I even saw her violet eyes sparkle a bit as she greeted us. Were I not so accustomed to Equestrians, I’d probably have been a little baffled by it. “I’m Peppermint Snap, and I’ll be your server. Can I start you with anything to drink?"

Mildred was the first to speak. “I take it you don’t serve alcohol here?”

The mare gave her a sympathetic smile and shook her head. “Sorry.”

Mildred waved a claw. “It’s cool. I’ll take a vanilla malt. Hold off on the whipped cream.”

The waitress nodded, her wings skillfully holding onto a notepad as she scribbled down the order with her mouth. “M’ph’kay, an’ you?” She asked, turning to Riley.

“I’ll have a large root beer, please.”

She nodded, continuing to jot down notes. When she turned to me, I simply replied, “Chocolate malt, please. Whipped cream is fine.”

Our drink orders taken, she nodded to herself and said, “Alrighty, I’ll be right back with your drinks!”

“So,” Riley said as we all looked over our menus. “We’re thinking of staying at the hotel on Wrought Iron Street. You ever been there?”

I shook my head. “No, but I know it’s a popular place for people visiting.” I grinned. “I don’t mind you two staying longer at my place, though.”

“I know, it’s not anything on your part,” Riley said with a laugh. “It’s just…”

I noticed Riley pause, and he seemed to be struggling to find the appropriate words.

“What?” I asked.

“You and Full Bloom could probably stand to have some more privacy,” Mildred replied in a frank tone. “I’m sure us sharing space with you has made that a little difficult.”

“O-oh, well…” I chuckled. “I guess. I mean, it’s only been a day or two, so it’s not like it’s been a huge burden for us.” I noticed Riley’s eyes flicker to Mildred for a moment before he met my gaze.

It should be worth noting that while Riley and I haven’t seen each other for a few years, we were both still very good at communicating without words. The pursed lips and deliberate movement of his eyes, going from meeting my gaze to glancing for a few seconds at Mildred said all that needed to be said. The subtle nod towards the eagless probably helped, though.

“Then again, the hotels around here are pretty nice. I hear a few of them even installed some hot tubs and stuff like that recently,” I added, and I could almost see the tension leave Riley’s features as he gave me the barest of nods in thanks.

Mildred, who was unaware of our silent conversation, just gave me one of her small smiles that I was beginning to associate with her. “We could probably do with a bit of pampering.” She turned to Riley, who gave her an innocent grin. “Maybe we could stop by one of those saunas too?”

“Sure,” Riley said with a shrug and laugh. “I’m all for it.”

“Cool,” Mildred said with a nod of her own. “If that’s the case… we should probably head down and check into the room we called for earlier.”

I raised an eyebrow. “So you already planned on staying there overnight, huh?”

Riley grinned. “Mildred figured out how to use my phone a few weeks ago… after she stole it from me during one of my medic training classes.” It was at that point that Riley gave her a pointed look, which she casually ignored. “She asked for it about three hours ago while we were walking through town, and next thing you know she got us a hotel room reserved.”

Mildred nodded in agreement. “You humans have some weird gizmos.”

It was at that point that Peppermint Snap returned, carrying a tray with our drinks. “Here you three go! Have you made up your minds on what you’d like to eat?”

Riley looked over his menu one more time before holding it before Mildred and pointing out something. She studied whatever he was pointing at before nodding in agreement. He closed the menu and handed it to the waitress. “We’ll have the cheese and mushroom pizza with an order of waffle fries, please.”

“Oh, good choice,” she said with a grin, taking the menu from him. She then looked to me. “And you?”

I did a quick perusal of the menu before closing it and handing it to her. “I think I’ll go with a large veggie submarine sandwich. Honey mustard and extra banana peppers if you could, please.”

“You got it! I’ll give the cooks your orders right away!” With that, she made her way back to the kitchen.

We spent our time waiting for the food with small talk and catching up on things. For a while it was fine up until we had gotten to a topic that apparently was still a little hard to talk about. How we got to the topic, I’m not sure. Something going from restaurants to mess hall food, then to field rations… the typical trail conversations tend to take.

“So… if you don’t mind me asking…” I began, “What exactly are the Cloven?”

Riley went quiet at that, and Mildred decided to reply after a few moments of watching him. “The Cloven, to put it in simple terms, are…” She paused, and let out a noise that sounded somewhere between a hum and a warble, her eyes looking up to the ceiling as she collected her thoughts. “They’re a race… of sorts, I guess. Parasites I guess would be a term for it. Or at least a part of their… species… whatever you want to call them.” She shook her head. “The texts on them are old, but they’re said to be something like shelled insects. They use parasites to control other hosts…like griffins and ponies.”

“Shit,” I mumbled. “It’s like that one movie…” I searched through my thoughts, trying to recall the title. “Damn it… it was… Riley help me out; that one movie we rented with those aliens taking over that school. They looked like… fish-worms or—”

“You mean The Faculty?” Riley asked.

“Yeah!” I replied with a snap of my fingers. “Yes, that movie.”

Riley frowned and let out a breath. “You’re not too far off, actually. The parasites are like worms… sort of… the way they take over and…” Riley shook his head, and pushed away his chair. “I… I gotta use the restroom.”

I made to rise from my seat. “Riley, you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I just need to use the restroom. Be right back, don’t worry.” He gave me a strained smile as he turned to make his way to the bathrooms.

“Riley…” Mildred called to him as he took a few steps.

He paused, and looked to her. “Yeah?”

It was barely noticeable, but her predatory eyes showed a hint of worry. “Don’t be long, okay?”

His smile became less forced, and he exhaled. “Yeah. Promise."

As he made his way through the dining area and vanished into the men’s bathroom, I sat back in my chair and looked to the eagless in front of me. “I… opened up some bad wounds, didn’t I?”

Mildred said nothing for a few moments, her claws lightly tapping on the table as she stared a hole into its polished wooden surface. I was worried she was going to continue with the awkward silence when she began. “Riley… blames himself for a few deaths during the war.”

“Why would…?” I stopped myself as I saw her look up at me.

“I believe the human terminology is PTSD. As a Corpsman, he was responsible for treating others to keep them alive while on the battlefield… but…” She closed her eyes and took in a shaky breath through her nostrils. “It’s hard to save everyone during a battle, especially when the enemy has no regard for their own lives.”

“Oh…” I rubbed the bridge of my nose and eyes and let out a weary breath. “I suppose I’ll never know what it was like. I wish I could understand what—”

“No,” Mildred replied, her voice soft but firm in tone. “Darren, Riley told me once that you were part of the reason he was out there in Gryphon.” She cleared her throat a bit, “‘If I can save him from seeing any of this stuff by being out here instead, then I have no regrets.’ That’s what he said after… after our group had been through a particularly bad fight with a group of Cloven. We lost a few griffins and even a Marine or two… one of the lives claimed was my older brother, Telforde.”

“You… mentioned him back during our movie night the other day,” I replied, not knowing what else to say.

She smiled and nodded. “He was a wonderful brother, and… honestly, Riley and him are a lot alike. Big, lovable idiots who are looking out for everyone, especially their younger siblings.” She cleared her throat again, this time swallowing hard as she continued. “Riley and Telforde, along with a few others, got separated from our group during a fight with some Cloven. We found some civilians in the ruins of the town we were in, and of course their safety became top priority at that point. One of the civilians was a young tiercel with a broken leg… the injury was external, and… not pretty, from what I heard. Riley was trying to treat the leg when a few Cloven managed to get the jump on the group. Riley, a few of the surviving Talons in the group, and the civilians managed to escape… thanks in part to Telforde and my group’s officer buying them time.”

“I…” I began, and noticed tears forming in her eyes. “Damn… Mildred, I’m sorry for bringing it up. Really, I didn’t…”

“It’s fine, you didn’t know. Don’t apologize, though. I’m proud to have had a brother like Telforde. He was a brave Fortus Knight, and he died without regrets…” She chuckled quietly. “It’s the Equestrian in me that has a hard time getting over it, I suppose. My parents and family are griffins in the flesh, but a bit of the pony culture must have rubbed off on us at some point.” She continued after a few moments of collecting her thoughts again. “We returned after clearing out the area of hostiles. We… found the bodies. Telforde was still alive, but… only barely. Riley and I tried to save him, but I’ve always been more of a combatant than a healer, and Riley’s supplies had been almost entirely used up on the others, and I don’t think it would have mattered at that point, anyway.”

“...” I nodded slowly, letting her take her time.

“After we… ensured that none of the dead were holding a parasite in them, we burned the bodies… just to be doubly sure, and grant them some form of a burial. Some of the Marines weren’t happy about that. Something along the lines of bringing them home to Earth so they could have a proper burial… but it was too dangerous. Too many risks when dealing with Cloven.”

“Shit…” I couldn’t find any real way to comfort her other than empty words. “I sometimes wish that… that I had joined the military. I was never as strong as he was, though, and I don’t know if I’d have guts to do what he does.”

“Military service is a major part of life for us griffins, but I understand it’s not so for all human cultures.” Mildred replied. “It makes some sense, though. You’re species is numerous, and not everyone is cut out for military service.” She smiled a little at that. “Don’t be ashamed, Darren. You shouldn’t regret your choice. After all, you went to college, and you studied and look where you are now. You helped do some good for the scientific community with all that stuff in the Everfree Forest, and you’re living a happy life with a wonderful mare right now. Who knows what would have happened if you had joined the military?”

“That… helps put things in perspective, I suppose.”

“On top of that, if something would have happened to you, how do you think Riley would have been? What if you had been in the Cloven War? What if, ancestors forbid it, something had happened to you during a battle with a Cloven Spiker? Or worse, you were taken over by one of their parasites?”

“That… yeah, I don’t want to know how Riley would have reacted to that.”

“Exactly.” She surprised me by reaching across and patting my arm with one of her claws. “Be thankful that you have Riley in your life; I know he’s happy to still have you… and to be honest, while I know we just met recently, I think I have to agree with him on that. You’re a good man, Darren.”

There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that I was blushing at that moment. Still, I did my best to keep my composure. “Thanks, Mildred.”

“Anytime. I… think that helped, actually. I haven’t talked to many about Telforde, aside from Riley and my parents.” She sighed softly, pulling her claws away from my hand. “I’m sure you would have liked him.”

“Probably. It sounds like he was a really awesome griffin.”

She smirked. “I’ll have to tell you some stories about him and Riley someday. They only knew each other for awhile, but Telforde got along well with the Marines and your brother.”

At that point, Riley could be seen making his way back to our table. He seemed a lot less upset, but I could make out a few beads of water clinging to his bangs. If I were to guess, he probably splashed water across his face while he was in the restroom, and then spent a few minutes staring at himself in the mirror above the sink. He always did it when he was nervous or stressed, like when he was preparing for a game of football during his high school years or when he was going out for a date with a girl he had just met.

“Sorry about that,” Riley apologized, offering us both a weak smile.

“No worries,” I replied, doing my best to convey my understanding. “Mildred was just telling me about how you and your Marine buddies are slowly destroying the discipline and professionalism of Gryphon’s proud soldiers with dirty humor and media from Earth.” I gave Mildred a quick glance, and she smiled appreciatively.

Riley snorted. “I apologize for nothing.” He glanced at Mildred before looking back to me. “I would have been stupid to avoid showing 300 to the griffies.”

“Oh god, you showed them that movie?” I laughed.

Mildred’s eyes lit up. “I liked that movie. It was intense!”

“Intense may be putting it lightly. I felt like starting a fist fight after I left the theater back when I first watched it,” I replied with a chuckle. “You think they’ll go as crazy for the FPS games we have on Earth?”

“Oh, it’s already been confirmed that game developers are looking into making games featuring combat with griffins and other Tellurians.” He laughed a bit, and added, “I hear they’re even going to make a new Civilization game that features Celestia and Luna. They’re still trying to decide on which leader to have for the griffies.”

“Lady Arnau,” Mildred said in a decisive tone.

“Who?” I asked. “Arnau? Like the city?”

“No, the griffin,” Mildred replied, puffing her chest out just a bit. “She helped lead an army of griffin tribes that, until then, had been divided. She died in battle, but not before slaying the Cloven Overlord and naming her successor, King Fortis, the first monarch of Gryphon.”

Riley rolled his eyes, but his smile was something akin to adoration. “Lady Arnau is a mix between folklore hero and historical icon for the griffins. Kind of like… hm… Cadmus…. or Perseus, I guess? She was not just a mythical hero, though, since she was an actual living griffin at one point. It’s hard to draw a parallel right off the bat.” He shrugged. “Arnau technically wasn’t a monarch, but she was still a leader. I’d be all for it.”

Our food arrived not long afterwards, and it was only then that I realized I was a lot hungrier than I had expected. Even so, I had made sure to set aside a portion for Full Bloom when I got home

“Quit it.”

“What?”

“You’re taking the pieces with the most mushrooms.”

“Am not.”

“Are too. Milly, look at my plate, and look at yours.”

“You got more cheese on your slices.”

Riley narrowed his eyes as Mildred took a clawful of the waffle fries from their basket. “...you don’t even care, do you?”

Mildred arched an eyebrow, but instead of giving him a glare, she smirked as she took another clawful of fries and put it onto her plate. She lifted a slice of pizza to her beak and bit into it with deliberate slowness. “Mmm. These mushrooms are the best.”

“...stop it.”

“You going to make me?”

Riley lowered his voice. “I would, but there are foals here, and I don’t want to scar Darren’s mind anymore than I already have in this lifetime.”

Mildred snickered. “Oho, sounds like someone is a chicken.”

I cleared my throat.

At this point, Riley and Mildred were staring each other down with expressions somewhere between bedroom eyes and challenging grimaces. They both looked to me, only to realize their faces were only inches apart from each other. They quickly put some distance between each other, and became interested in their food once more. Riley took the opportunity to swipe a handful of fries and a slice of pizza from Mildred’s plate, causing her to snap her beak at him.

“Wow,” I said with a grin. “You two are made for each other.”

“Shut it,” Riley said between bites of pizza.

Mildred glanced at me with her crimson eyes, a faint blush visible beneath her feathers. “Sorry, Darren.”

“Nah, it’s cool.” I leaned forward and looked her dead in the eyes. “For what it’s worth, I give you my blessing.” I patted one of her talons gently and said in a soft tone. “Please take good care of my aniki for me, Mildred onee-san.”

Riley coughed a bit as he set down the root beer he had been drinking at that moment. He gave me a glare as he wiped his mouth with a napkin. “Not funny!”

I laughed heartily as I dug into my submarine sandwich, all while enjoying the death glares and flustered looks from my brother.

Mildred, meanwhile, was looking between the two of us with a confused expression on her face.“So… wait, what’s an ‘onee-san’?”

After our meal, and extracting a promise from the two that they’d stop by in the next day or so to watch more Lord of the Rings, I made my way home, a bit of a skip in my step as I whistled the tune That Lady by the Isley Brothers to myself.

With Riley and Mildred staying at a hotel for the remainder of their stay in Hoofington, I found my mind drifting to Full Bloom. It went without saying that work kept her busy, seeing as she was often away, likely working on projects and her botany research. There had to be something I could do to help her unwind.

My apartment came into view, and I picked up my pace a bit. As I made my way down the paved path leading to the apartment complex, I saw the doors to my balcony open. Full Bloom walked out, and propped herself up on her hind legs while holding onto the wooden railing with her forelegs. “Well, hello, stranger. Nice of you to drop by.”

Even from ground level, I could see the traces of exhaustion in her smile. Her curly mane had been done up into a simple ponytail, and she had a large mug floating in her magic, curls of steam rising up from it.

“Hope you don’t mind, but I bought a coffee machine and brought it over. I needed a little pick-me-up after all the running around I had to do.”

I gave her a sympathetic smile. “Busy as always, huh?”

She nodded and took a sip of her coffee. “Mm, with the four of you no longer working at Ecosystems for Equestria, the workload has increased for me and the other fieldworkers. I’ve had to go in for extra shifts and grab supplies in town for Wild Call on my days off.”

“Well, tell you what, let me get settled in, and I’ll give you a nice back rub while you vent to me about the unfairness of it all.”

“That sounds wonderful, actually.” She took another long pull from her coffee, and apparently having polished it off, set it down on the railing with a content sigh. “That hit the spot.”

“...that mug was steaming hot.”

“I like to drink my coffee before it’s cooled.”

I opened my mouth to argue, but decided to forgo any further conversation on the topic. Instead, I made my way up the stairs to my apartment, and opened the door. Full Bloom greeted me with a nuzzle, and it was then that I got a good look at her state.

Now, as cliché as it sounds, Full Bloom was still beautiful, even in a disheveled state. Still, there were noticeable bags under her eyes. While her mane always had a bit of an untamed look to it, what with it’s incredibly curly nature, it looked extra unkempt today.

“I know, I look horrible, don’t I?” she laughed as she sauntered over to the couch and plopped down. “I just got hit with a wave of fatigue today and I can’t seem to shake it.”

“What were you doing today that’s got you like this?” I asked, running a hand through her mane. “And for the record, I don’t think you could really look horrible. Your bedmane looks sexy.”

She leaned into my hand a bit and hummed. “Like I said, lab supply runs. I’ve had to go to one of the in-town suppliers to get more sampling kits and such. Not to mention we bought another microscope and a few other odds and ends.” She gave me a reassuring smile as she continued. “Don’t worry, Wild Call isn’t working me to the bone. I’ve been volunteering for most of the work. Have to keep a good record on the plant samples for diseases and such that we gathered recently, so that means more time at the lab.”

I frowned a bit. “Well, you shouldn’t drive yourself to this state, Full Bloom.” I ran my hand across her shoulders, earning a quiet murmur of approval from her as I began to knead the tissue. “Cripes, you carry a lot of stress. I’m not a massage therapist, but I can feel the knots.” I sat up. “Right, lay on the carpet. I’m fixing this right now.”

She grinned a little, and happily plopped herself onto the floor, wiggling her flanks a bit as she looked up at me. “Is this going to be one of those massages with a ‘happy ending’?”

I was tempted to say yes, but instead just smiled. “Just relax for now. I’m going to see what I can do about all that stress you’re carrying right now.”

She let out another hum and I sat down behind her. She waggled her eyebrows a bit, noticing my position relative to her hindquarters. “Not sure I can relax with you back there.”

“You mares and your hormones,” I chuckled, earning a playful swat from her tail. “I’ll do my best to restrain myself, so don’t worry.” As soon as I pressed into her shoulders, I felt her tense. I pulled away and gave her a worried look. “You okay?”

“Just sore, don’t worry.” She sighed, “Keep going.”

“Try to relax. I’ve gotten good at this.” I said softly, pressing my fingers into her shoulders once again, gently this time. “Let me know if anything hurts.”

What followed was a good half hour of me working out every kink and knot on her backside that I could find. Her neck and hip area, unsurprisingly, carried the vast majority of her stress, along with her shoulders.

“Remind me to thank your instructors…” she murmured as I rubbed slow circles into her neck muscles. “Sweet Celestia, Darren, when did you get this good?”

“Practice, I guess?”

She slowly opened an eye at that comment, turning her head slightly to meet my gaze. “Practice, hm? With who?”

Well, I figured honesty was probably the best policy here. “My instructors Pizzelle and Ambrosia both have let me give them massages. One’s a pegasus, the other is an earth pony. Both of them said I was pretty good right off the bat, though.”

“Mm.” She closed her eyes and smiled. “I guess I don’t mind sharing you if it creates results like this.”

“Fair enough,” I agreed, slowly kneading her back with my palms. “So, how did your research into dating human males go with Mildred?”

“Alright, I guess. She and…” Full Bloom paused, only to laugh as I continued to massage her. “Um… sorry?”

“No harm, no foul, I guess.” I pulled away a bit to rest my hands. “Just a personal space thing, you know? I don’t mind sharing a laptop, but… you know.”

“Afraid I’ll look at your search history and find something scandalous?”

I let out a bark of laughter. “Like you have any right to talk.”

She rolled onto her back and adjusted herself so that her head was resting in my lap. “What’s that supposed to mean?

I smirked and leaned forward. “I’m just saying that you’re not so innocent yourself. It was you who took me, the poor, naive human male, and introduced me to the exotic and enticing world of mares, after all.”

“Oh, pfft!” She let out a snort, then booped my nose gently with a hoof. “It was going to happen one way or another, Mr. Gentleman. You’re lucky you got me first, instead of some sex-crazed instructor.”

“Hey, my instructors are good mares,” I defended, perhaps putting a little more force into my voice than intended. “I… well, I mean, they’re not deviants or uncontrollable—”

I felt the light, electric tingle of Full Bloom’s magic encompass the back of my head, pushing me down to meet her lips. After sharing a kiss, she pulled away. “You’re too easy, you know that?”

“Well… I thought you were upset or something…” I defended lamely. “I mean, I’m still surprised you’re okay with my work, to be honest.”

She rolled her eyes and chuckled softly. “Darren, let me make one thing clear: I will never hold your work over your head like that when it comes to us.” She took a hold of my right hand with both forelegs, pressing it against her barrel. “I love being with you, and truth be told, I think you’re the first male I’ve been with that’s ever treated me the way you do.”

“Thanks?” I said with a smile. “I… hope that’s a compliment, because it sounded like one.”

“Yes, it is,” she giggled. “I know you’re going to have sex with mares you hardly know, and there may be a few repeat clients you get that will really enjoy their time with you…” Her smile fell a bit. “There… may even be a few that you enjoy more than me.”

“Now hold on, Full Bloom—”

She pressed her other hoof against my lips. “I’m not blaming you for anything.” She grinned. “Truth be told, I’m sure there are a few guys out there that could rock my world better than you.”

“... I’m not sure if that’s a blow to my manhood or you saying that I’m not as experienced as other guys…”

“Oh, no, no!” She giggled some more, only to pull me closer as I sighed. “Hey, come on, just let me finish talking.” She used her magic to turn my head and make me face her. “Regardless of whether that would be true or not, they’ll never be someone that I will care for like you. Sex is… well, that’s just it, Darren. It’s sex. It’s wonderful. It’s driven both of our respective species to continue existing for eons, but, in the end, it’s just friction and hormones.”

“You know, it kind of scares me that I completely agree with you on that.”

She just continued to give me that warm smile. “Well, whatever the case, no one can replace you. Okay? Sex, be it for work, or between us, isn’t going to make or break this so easily.”

“Same here…” I leaned down and gave her another kiss. “I’d be an idiot to think of letting go of a mare who can pull off the sexy nerd thing as well as you can.”

“Oh, be still my beating heart. I think I’m swooning,” she replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

We remained that way for what might have been hours; my fingers running through her mane while her magic ran through my own. I might have even dozed off at some point. In fact, I’m pretty sure that was exactly what had happened, because I ended up opening my eyes at some point, only to find myself on the couch with Full Bloom resting on top of me, softly snoozing. The clock on the wall read that it was currently going on to six in the evening.

“Hey…” I whispered softly into Full Bloom’s ear. “Full Bloom, wake up.”

“Mmmphh…” she whined, nuzzling into my shirt. “Don’ wanna…”

“You sure?” I replied, a mischievous idea coming to mind. “I mean, you’re kind of on top me…”

“Mhm. Stay there for a bit longer. Too comfy to move…” she mumbled.

I lifted a hand and gently ran it down her side. “Last chance, Full Bloom.”

This time, she managed to crack open an eye. “You wouldn’t…”

My fingers began to gently dance across her sides, just featherlight touches. “Consider your last warning given, then.” I cracked a smile as I lifted my other hand and tended to the other side of her stomach.

“O-okay, Darren, easy-bwfhahahahaa!” Full Bloom’s back legs began to kick against the couch armrest as she squirmed in my grip. She let out a peal of laughter as one of my hands found the crook between her foreleg and her shoulder. “No fair! No fair! Gyahahahahhaaaa-”

I managed to sit up while flipping her onto her back, gently pinning her to the couch as she gave a halfhearted attempt at fighting me off. “And now, for the coup de grâce.”

I blew a raspberry onto her stomach, causing her to let out a squeal of laughter and ask for mercy.

I pulled away from her stomach and gave her a smirk. “And what have we learned?”

She let out a wheeze as her laughter died down. “Humans fight dirty.”

“You’re damn right.” I gave her mane a light tussle and leaned down to kiss her on the forehead, just beneath the base of her horn. “Luckily, you ponies are so damn adorable we can’t find it in ourselves to conquer you.”

“Mm. All in nature’s grand design, I suppose.” She hummed in agreement while sitting up. “So, what’s so important that you had to wake me up from that nap?

I looked at the clock, then to her. “Feel like going out for a bit?”

“Where?” She asked. “I mean, that nap was nice, so I wouldn’t mind getting some fresh air now, sure… but…” She gave what looked to be a shrug.

I had an idea in mind. “There’s that place down the road that does community theater stuff. Want to see if there’s anything going on there?”

She grinned at that. “Sure! I haven’t seen a play for ages, if you don’t count that Trixie mare’s show that we saw.”

In short order, the two of us got ourselves cleaned and dressed up for going to the theater. It was a good fifteen minute walk from my place, and even if there wasn’t a performance tonight, it was at least a nice night for being out and enjoying the late summer weather.

“Oh, no way! How didn’t I hear about this! Darren, look!” Full Bloom let out a chuckle as the theater came into view. “They’re doing a performance of Jaunty Softshoe’s The Art of Warmance.”

I raised an eyebrow at that. “The… The Art of Warmance?”

“Yeah!” She picked up the pace a bit, forcing me to step up my own speed to a light jog. “It’s from Jaunty Softshoe’s Jamboree.”

“Jaunty Softshoe’s Jamboree?” I echoed in equal parts confusion and amusement.

“Yeah! They’re a comedy group. Most of their members are from Caleponia, Gryphon, and some of the regions just inside of Equestria. Makes for some pretty good comedy that you don’t get in places like Canterlot or Las Pegasus.”

“Huh, okay, I’m interested.” I looked at the poster advertising the performance. It had a picture of a bunch of mares and tiercel griffin garbed in armor that would have been more appropriate several centuries ago. The mare had a bouquet of flowers in one hoof while she was attempting to stab the tiercel with her wing blades. The tiercel, in turn, had what appeared to be a large box of chocolates and a shortsword in either of his claws

“It was originally written about a decade ago when Equestria’s filming studios were going through a huge boom on romanticizing its warring days with Gryphon.” She snickered. “It’s… sort of based on historical events during the ancient Gryphon-Equestrian war… you’ll love their rendition of Sergeant Major Windshear, by the way.”

I made no further comment, instead trusting my spur of the moment decision to visit the theater, as well as Full Bloom’s words of encouragement.

"Captain Firefly, ma’am!”

Captain Firefly, the heroine and main character of the performance, casually looked up from the desk of her private quarters.

Captain Firefly, according to the brief Equestrian history lesson Full Bloom had given me before the show, had played a key role in the ancient continent-spanning conflict between Equestria and the then-Gryphon Empire. Judging from her appearance, however, the mare playing Firefly, if anything, seemed to be a satirical jab at the more bureaucratic side of modern Equestrian military and given an ancient makeover. Unlike the actual pegasus mare who went by the name Firefly, the Caleponian pegasus actress playing the role was far from an imposing figure. She was of a slender build and had her mane done up in a fashionable style, which was something you wouldn’t see among any Royal Guards, past or present. “Yes, yes, come in, Sergeant Blindside.”

The young, dashing pegasus mare playing Sergeant Blindside promptly burst through the doors of Firefly’s office in an overly dramatic fashion. Like Firefly, Blindside was a historical figure who had served in the Equestrian military several centuries ago. Much like the depiction of Firefly in this performance, however, instead of a fierce pegasus warrior, this performance’s Blindside was rather comical in behavior.

She was a far cry from the rather no-nonsense mare—who could fly through a hail of arrows untouched— that was talked of in the history books. In Equestrian history, she was lauded for being a heroic mare who had overcome a severe visual handicap and shone as an example of the Equestrian military spirit, much like Firefly herself. As her name indicated, she was blind in one eye, which for a pegasus in ancient times was normally disastrous. It meant no depth perception for a pony, which was normally essential to flying or fighting. However, this Blindside’s eyepatch was purposely being switched from one eye to the other throughout the performance, sometimes in the midst of a scene so that the side it was on was facing towards the audience.

“Captain, it appears I’ve been shot by griffin weaponry!” Blindside said, gesturing to an arrow flopping loosely from her side.

“Have you, now?” Firefly shuffled some papers around. “My, that looks quite serious. Have you talked to the healers?” she asked in perfect deadpan.

Blindside, who was standing at the entrance of her superior’s office, nodded once. “Indeed. They say it’s likely a fatal injury, my lovely and heroic Captain! I shall die within the hour.” she raised a hoof dramatically to her forehead, then paused for a moment. “Probably.”

“Oh, dear me! That’s not going to sit well with Lieutenant Fell Flight at all! Imagine the paperwork she’ll have to take on in your absence,” Firefly replied in the same deadpan tone, causing the audience to laugh. “You’re sure you can’t shrug it off?”

Blindside purposely lifted her eyepatch to get a good look at the supposed wound before placing it over the opposite eye. “I’m afraid not, ma’am. I fear that I am not long for this world,” Blindside replied, pulling out a bottle of expensive red wine and a long wax candle under her armored wings, earning more amused laughs from the audience. “I do feel that I must get something off my chest though before I give up the ghost, ma’am.” She took two glasses out from her other wing and began to fill them with wine while lighting the candle as the audience continued to laugh heartily, a few even whistling in approval at the comically romantic scene.

“Right now?” Firefly said in a polite, yet slightly annoyed tone. She arched an eyebrow at the wine glasses. “What’s all this, then?”

“Oh, just setting the mood.”

“The mood?”

“Aye, for my confession before my untimely death, ma’am.”

“Ah. Well, could it and your untimely death perhaps wait until this afternoon? I’m terribly busy until then, I’m afraid.” Firefly asked, a twinge of hope in her voice.

Blindside slumped, a pout forming on her lips. “Please, My Captain! Would you not allow a dying mare her last request?” she leaned in close and puckered up.

“Are you sure you’re wounded?” Firefly asked as she looked back to her stack of papers.

“Aye, terribly so,” Blindside replied, making a point of wobbling unsteadily, which caused the arrow in turn to wobble right off, revealing it nothing more than glued on haphazardly. The reaction of the audience was priceless, the theater now full of laughter, cheers, and applause.

“Really?”

The two mares looked at the unwounded side of Blindside’s body, then to the arrow on the ground.

“It seems it was just a flesh wound, ma’am!!” Blindside stated jubilantly, much to the audience’s amusement, though some of the Equestrians were surprised when some of the humans in the audience began to laugh to the point of wheezing. Recovering quickly, Blindside stood upright, and beamed. “Celestia be praised!”

“So it was!” Firefly nodded approvingly. “Good work, Sergeant.”

Blindside continued with what she had been doing before, now dragging in an antiquated-looking phonograph and slipping on a record. The theater was suddenly filled with the sound of romantic stringed music, and the audience, having seen several attempts by Blindside that were much like this, just continued applauding and laughing in amusement. “We should celebrate my recovery, ma’am!” She offered Firefly wine and a kiss again

Just like every time before, Firefly was completely unmoved. “Ah, perhaps later, Sergeant. I’m afraid I’ve got lots of papers to shuffle around, it will probably take me into the afternoon.”

“Oh…” Again, Blindside slumped. “Well, if you feel like joining me for dinn—I mean to celebrate, I would be all for it, ma’am!”

Firefly gave a very deliberate shrug. “Mm, I shall keep it in mind, Sergeant. Dismissed.”

Blindside trudged out of the office, dragging the phonograph that still was playing the record. She cast one last look to Firefly before sighing deeply, taking a long pull from the wine bottle, and continuing out of the room.

At that point, as the door to Firefly’s office closed, an adult griffin tiercel’s head poked up from the spot between Firefly and her desk, his body painted black except for some pink heart-shaped markings on his head and wings. Like Firefly, this griffin had been a major figure in the Gryphon nation’s military history, and had served as a Tribune and later as a Prelate during the war, commanding an elite unit that became the Bolt Knights’ greatest foe. He was one of the Empire’s greatest heroes, in fact, and had been a major nemesis to Firefly for the majority of the ancient conflict.

“I thought she’d never leave,” he announced with a very corny Prench accent.

“Hush, Kaval. You still have an hour left before you’re due back,” Firefly replied, pushing Tribune Kaval’s head back past the audience’s view. “And do use less beak this time.”

“Of course, My Captain…” he all but purred as the curtain closed, ending the scene and indicating to the audience that it was time for an intermission. As applause and shouts of approval filled the theater, Full Bloom and I got up, both of us still chuckling a bit.

“Okay, you win. I never thought I’d experience that much dirty humor in one hour from anything in Equestria until tonight…” I admitted, turning to Full Bloom. “I have to ask though… did Blindside actually fawn for Firefly like that?”

Full Bloom let out a laugh. “The war with Gryphon and Equestria happened over seven hundred years ago, but there have been several records indicating the two were romantically involved at some point.” She grinned. “Actually, from my understanding, they weren’t just lovers, but also herdmates. Not too often you get war stories with that sort of a happy ending.” She shook her head. “In the end, though, the only mare who might know any other facts about Firefly’s love life lives in Canterlot and moves the sun every day.”

“Mm. I don’t think it’d be proper of us to ask for an audience with Celestia so she can give us some dirt on a long-dead Royal Guard’s secret love life.”

“Probably not. But there are some things we do know. Firefly actually admitted in her memoirs that yes, she did have a fling with Layan Kaval a decade or two after the war, during a joint campaign against the forces of Dragon Lord Diabla. She actually said that he never enjoyed rounds or rutting until she came along, because no griffin was a match for him. But she was!”

I grinned widely at that. “Really? Wonder if they’re going to show that in the movie?”

“I’m sure the upcoming movie trilogy about Firefly and the Bolt Knights of ancient Equestria will cover that department for us.” Full Bloom smirked. “Can’t wait to see the previews; that one teaser trailer was compelling enough! I think it’s great they’re using the current Wonderbolts for certain roles--I mean, Spitfire as Sirocco and Soarin as Windshear? That’s perfect! And as for romance, it wouldn’t surprise me if they did. I haven’t seen a lot of your world’s movies yet, but from the ones I have watched, you sure like to squeeze a lot of love and lovemaking into your action films. Not that I’m complaining!”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, Hollywood is… yeah…” I shook my head. “Seriously, though. If you want a good documentary on human conflict without some sappy and nonsensical romance, I got a few miniseries we could watch.”

We ended up getting some popcorn and beverages before returning to see the second half of the performance. In the end, Firefly and her elite team of pegasi—who would end up becoming the foundation for the present day Wonderbolts flight team, according to the historical blurbs in the theater pamphlets—won the war against Gryphon with the assistance of Celestia, who had been played by a unicorn with intentionally tacky cardboard wings. The actress playing Celestia had threatened to drop a riotous, heat-frenzied horde of mares upon the city of Mosclaw, quickly ending the war.

Celestia, who had spoken to the audience via an aside, stated jokingly that Equestrian historians apparently were so embarrassed by this maneuver that they chose to lie and claim military prowess and tactics had won the conflict.

“Indeed, as the famed general called the Sun Master himself once said, ‘The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy not with fighting, but with a well timed heat cycle and several battalions of mares who have not had a good rutting for the better part of several months while serving in distant forts across the countryside.’.” Celestia proclaimed before taking a bow as the curtain closed, ending the performance.

The large cast of performers all took their bows as the audience applauded. Full Bloom and I eventually left the theater, but not before we managed to get the pony actress who played Blindside to sign our pamphlets.

Full Bloom was rather giddy about that, to be honest.

“I can’t believe I got Standing Ovation’s autograph!” Full Bloom squealed, waving the autographed performance pamphlet before me with her magic. “I almost forgot she joined the Jaunty Softshoe’s Jamboree crew about a year ago! This is amazing!” She giggled and danced in place a bit as she tucked the pamphlet into a saddlebag she had brought with her.

“Is she a big name in the theater business?”

Full Bloom waved a hoof. “Yes and no. She’s a rising star, but she’s mostly been focusing her career on Bridleway and non-film work. She actually turned down an offer to star in the upcoming trilogy of films that are based on the Gryphon and Equestrian war, actually.” She smirked. “This might have been her way to get the point across to the studios that kept badgering her.”

“Well, lucky you,” I chuckled. “She seemed pretty cool.”

“She actually started out as a comedian, believe it or not. After she finished her required years of education she moved to Vanhoover, and well, now she’s working in theater.” Full Bloom walked closer, and without a thought, my hand settled on her neck and began to scratch. “Enough about her, though.” Full Bloom gave my side a gentle nudge with her head and continued. “Someone deserves a bit of thanks for that wonderful trip to the theater.”

“Glad you enjoyed it.” I stopped, and like many a time before, knelt down so I was at eye level with her. “I know I’ve been busy with work lately…”

“We both have been busy,” Full Bloom added.

“Well…” I continued. “I just wanted to remind you that I enjoy being with you. That and get you to take some time off from the daily grind and not drive yourself to exhaustion so much.”

“You’re sweet, Darren.” She gave me a peck on the cheek. “Don’t worry so much about me, though. I’m a big filly.”

“Yes, but you’re prone to overworking.” I gave her a kiss on the forehead in turn. “Don’t overdo it too much, okay? You have a worrywart of a boyfriend to consider.”

“Fine, I’ll try,” Full Bloom giggled as I pulled her in for a hug. “Only because you’re so adorable.”

I gave her a final kiss before standing up once more, the two of us continuing back down the road leading to my place. “Whatever works.”

End of Chapter Ten

Author's Note

Surprise! Denim's still doing stuff with pone words!

Well, in all due fairness, I have been helping with prereading for a few gents, namely Firesight and AJ_Aficionado. In turn, they've been helping me out with my own work, and I managed to eke out some writing time this past weekend since I was off from work. With any luck, I'll have more written this coming weekend, so there's a silver lining to all of this, I guess!

As usual, my thanks goes to the usual suspects of AJ_Aficionado, Silent Woodfire, Firesight, and TheTownCrier. These four managed to shape up this story into something decent, and I have a special thanks to Firesight for his additions to the play scene with Firefly. Check out Before the Storm: The Rise of Firefly if you need a reference to understand things better. I would like to note that I am to blame for the idea of the characters Blindside and Firefly being an actual pairing/future pairing in the story.

Anyway, I would have gotten this out sooner today, but the whole formatting issue with Google Docs made this a multi-hour process... I could use that alternative that's been mentioned, sure, but I didn't think it'd be this long to fix, heh. As it stands, I've gotten better at typing out brackets and backslashes today, it would seem. Hurray for me!

Until next time, folks, keep on keeping on!

Tests and Skills

Gentleman in Training

by Denim_Blue

Chapter Eleven: Tests and Skills

The sharp, piercing glow of my phone screen told me that it was currently six fifty-eight and that I would need to get up in the next two minutes. I let out a huff, cancelled the alarm on my phone before it went off and slowly, carefully, got out of bed. Honestly, why had I had I even bothered setting said alarm in the first place if my body had decided to wake up before it went off? Stupid circadian rhythm…

“Mm… morning already?” came the muffled voice of Full Bloom from beneath the bedsheets.

I put on my boxers that I had discarded after we had gotten home last night from the theater, and gave my back a good twist or two, sighing as I worked out a few kinks. “I’m afraid so. Do you unicorns know any spells to stop time?”

“I’ve heard stories about spells like that. Most of them ended badly. I think that’s why time manipulation is a big no-no throughout most of Tellus,” Full Bloom answered, slowly rising up and yawning. “Mm. I think I need another back massage after what you did for me last night.”

I chuckled at that, “I’ll give no apologies for that. You asked me to show you what I learned over the weekend, after all.” I gave her a wink, which earned an amused eye roll from her.

“Shifting the blame now, huh?” She rolled onto her side. “I’m off today and tomorrow, by the way. Wild Call put me on mandatory leave. Probably to avoid me getting paid too much overtime and have the headquarters put up a stink. I forgot to tell you yesterday.”

“Really?” I stretched out my calf muscles and then my arms. Satisfied with getting the blood flowing into my limbs, I walked over to my closet and picked out a pair of jeans and white t-shirt with a black handprint on it, along with the words ‘We Know’ written beneath it. Today was supposed to be a light day, so Pizzelle wouldn’t have any arduous exercises planned for us aside from some morning stretches and the like. I figured I could risk wearing one of my more beloved shirts to work for once. “I don’t think it’s going to be too long of a day for training. Mostly classes, and probably a bit of talk with one of my instructors about what to prepare for this coming weekend.”

Full Bloom gave me an adorable pout upon me saying that. “Leaving again for the weekend? Where are you going this time?”

“Possibly Las Pegasus, though I’m not sure. That could change. I do know that Royal Ribbon is planning on taking me somewhere.”

Full Bloom arched an eyebrow as an intrigued look crept onto her features. “Las Pegasus, huh?”

“Should I be worried?”

“Maybe,” she chuckled. “I think I heard that there’s a city in your country, called Las Vegas, right?” I nodded in reply. “Well, if your planet’s city is called the City of Sin, and it really is just like Las Pegasus, that’s about what you should be prepared for.”

“So… lots of gambling and partying?”

“That’s a start, sure. Haven’t you ever been to your Las Vegas or whatever?”

“Nope, I didn’t do much travel in the southwestern U.S, though Alex went there at least twice during our days in college. I’ve traveled mostly within the region I was born, traveled to a few states and such.” I shrugged. “Didn’t have much time for travel when I was younger, if that makes sense.”

“Hm.” Her smirk fell a little. “Well, you be careful if that’s where you’re going. I don’t want my favorite human to be whisked away by the debauchery of Las Pegasus. Otherwise I might have to come find you, and I just know I’ll have a hard time leaving if you’re stuck there.” She wiggled her rump a little, the sheets hugging her curves just enough that the sight proved to be distracting. “Maybe I should come with you and your instructor and keep an eye on you…”

“I don’t think I’d be able to retain anything I learn if I had both you and an instructor to worry about…” I smirked as her magic softly tugged at the collar of my shirt, pulling me closer. “Is there a saying about whatever happens in Las Pegasus stays in Las Pegasus?”

“Mmmm.” She pulled me down for a kiss, and wrapped a foreleg around my neck while letting her tongue probe my lips. She pulled away after we shared a brief tongue tussle. “What we’d do wouldn’t have to be restricted to Las Pegasus…” She batted her eyelashes softly as she pulled away.

I let out a deep breath and fought the urge to jump right back into the bed. I looked at the clock, surprised to see it was already ten past seven. Damn. “I have to go.”

“Awww…” she whined softly. “No time for even a little fun?” Another wonderful shake of her sheet-covered hindquarters drew me away from her beautiful eyes.

“Bloom, you know that if I hop back into bed, I won’t be going to work.”

She sighed dramatically, her forehooves slumping on either side of her pillow. “Whatever shall I do to douse this fire in my loins, then?” She slipped one of her hooves beneath the sheets while her eyes locked with mine. It wasn’t difficult to see what she was intending to do as she let out a shaky breath.

“This is torture, and you know it,” I said softly. Though it was hidden beneath the sheets, I could clearly tell that her hoof was hovering over her marehood. The soft coos and gasps as she began playing with herself was like a siren song to me, and I couldn’t help but kneel down on the bed once more. “O-okay, fine. Five minutes, but then I—”

Three loud knocks on the front door of my apartment shook us from our pre-coital moment, and Full Bloom let out an aggravated noise as I stood back up. “Who the buck is knocking on your door this early in the morning?”

I gave her a shrug. “No clue, but it’d better be for a good reason.” I made my way through the hallway leading into the living room, unlocked the door, and was met with a familiar face. “Pizzelle?”

My pegasus instructor gave a quick wave to me in greeting. “Sorry for coming over here so early…” She cleared her throat. “I hope I didn’t wake you up.”

“No, I was actually getting ready to leave.” I paused for a half-second, then added, “... in a little bit.”

“Mm. Well, something has come up, so I had to come here and make sure to walk with you to work.”

I frowned. “Why is that?”

At this point, Full Bloom was making her way down the hall into the living room. “Who is it, Darren?”

I gave her a small grin. “Full Bloom, this is Pizzelle. She’s one of my instructors…”

I noticed the two mares immediately lock gazes, and I took an involuntary step away from being between them. Pizzelle arched an eyebrow, but her expression was otherwise unreadable. Full Bloom ran a hoof through her mane absentmindedly before letting a smile cross her lips. “Ah, hello!” She approached Pizzelle, raised a hoof to greet her, only to stop and raise up her other one instead, much to my hidden relief. “It’s nice to finally meet one of the mares that’s been teaching Darren. I’m his marefriend, Full Bloom.”

Pizzelle’s expression turned into a small smile, and she gripped Full Bloom’s hoof with her own and gave it a brief shake. “Pleased to meet you, finally. Darren’s talked about you a few times.” She gave me a quick glance, and added. “Nothing but good things, though, promise.” She gave Full Bloom a wink, earning a laugh from the unicorn.

“I’m sure.” Full Bloom looked over her shoulder to me and gave me a knowing smile, then continued. “So, what can we do for you?”

Pizzelle’s frown returned, and she sighed, “There’s been some… increased problems going on for our business. Management has asked that we accompany our Gentleman to and from work for a little while, just to make sure they don’t run into any unwanted encounters with folks who might not be in favor of our business.”

“Ah,” Full Bloom nodded. “I’ve kept an eye on the news lately. That and reading those articles by that one mare, Five Stars.” Her ears flattened a bit as she cast a wary look out into the hall of the apartment building. “You don’t think there’s a chance of some mob gathering at the branch building, do you?”

“I want to say that it’s not very likely, but we’re trying to play it safe. We’ve interviewed some possible candidates for full-time security yesterday, and have already hired at least one employee to work during regular daytime hours. Until we get a few more staff for security, though, we’ll be doing this escorting to and from the branch building.” She shook her head in clear dislike of the situation. “Like I said: just trying to play it safe.”

Despite the seriousness of this sudden bit of news, I couldn’t help but chuckle a bit. “I’m a grown man, Pizzelle. I can handle myself.”

“Tell that to Platinum, then,” she said, her voice carrying a bit more edge than she probably intended, seeing as her ears immediately flattened and she gave me an apologetic look. “I… sorry. I just… I’m kind of in agreement with this. There’s only five of you boys with us right now. We don’t want anything happening to you. You may be grown men, but even one angry pony can be a problem for an adult human.”

“Darren, don’t worry about it,” Full Bloom added in a reassuring tone. “It’s only for a little bit, after all.” She walked forward, placing a hoof over one of my hands. “Besides, I’m sure Pizzelle would like to have some time to talk with you before work, don’t you?”

“I…” I blinked slowly. I know we had talked about my situation with working for Gentlemen for Mares, but I was a bit baffled by how okay Full Bloom was with the whole situation in regards to other mares. Though, at the same time… Equestrian norms. “Yeah, I suppose. See you after work?”

“Yep. Maybe I’ll stop over at the hotel you said Riley and Mildred are staying at, see how they are.”

“Okay.” I leaned down and gave her a light kiss on the head, and was a bit relieved to see Pizzelle had chosen beforehand to wait out in the hall for me. “I will be getting you back for that little stunt you pulled earlier, by the way,” I whispered.

“I’ll be looking forward to it,” she replied, giving me a quick lick on the lips before nudging me out the door. “Go on, now. I’ll see you later.”

As soon as I shut the door behind me, Pizzelle looked my way. “She seems… pretty cool.”

“Huh? Oh, yeah.” I smiled. “I… yeah. She’s great…” I cleared my throat. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable back there.”

“No worries,” she replied with a wave of her hoof. “You two seem good for each other. She’s… kinda cute, actually. Can’t blame you for falling for her.”

I blinked dubiously. The statement itself was pretty innocent, but just Pizzelle saying such a thing just seemed unlike her. “Cute, huh?”

To her credit, she managed to keep her composure, despite the blush. “I… well, yeah, I know a nice looking mare when I see one. Or is that so hard to believe?”

I could feel the slight edge creeping into her words again, and decided to assuage any misconceptions she might have had right then and there. “No, not at all. Mares, stallions, men, women… whatever floats your boat.” I shrugged. “For what it’s worth, I like to think I know a nice looking mare when I see one as well.” I grinned.

Pizzelle was quiet for a few seconds, then let out a soft chuckle. “Relax, Darren. I’m not going to ream you a new plot or question your beliefs on sexuality.” She smiled. “You’ve already shown me you’re a good person, so I’m not worried about it. Though…” She looked forward. “It doesn’t bother you that I like mares as well, huh?”

“Should it?”

She hummed. “No, honestly, it’s not that hard to believe in Equestria. At least for mares.”

“And what about stallions who are into other stallions. Or males in general?”

“Ehh…” Pizzelle waved a hoof from side to side. “Things are better than they used to be in regards to that subject, I suppose. Depending on who you ask, though, such things may be seen as deplorable, selfish, or just wrong.”

“Because of the whole sex ratio and herd society,” I replied.

“You have been paying attention in class. Good. Luckette will be happy to hear that.” She gave me an approving smile before continuing. “Yes, though, you’re right.” She fluffed her wings a bit as a gentle breeze blew by. “As horrible as it sounds, not too long ago, if you were a colt-cuddler—”

“Really? That’s the term they use?” I asked with a smirk.

“What? Didn’t Luckette cover slang terms with you?”

“Not that extensively. Though, I suppose I never knew any ‘colt-cuddlers’ in person, either...”

“Well, anyway, yeah… the idea of stallions being with other stallions was, for a long while, something akin to a taboo or even a crime in the eyes of some ponies. I’m sure more than a few mares out there probably still hold that belief, which is rather pitiful if you ask me.”

“Huh.” I placed my hands behind my head as we made our way down the road. “You… ever fool around with any of the other Wonderbolts?”

“Ha!” She barked in laughter at that. “Maybe I did. You’d be surprised what goes on in those locker rooms.”

“Okay, okay, don’t go into details. It’ll ruin the fantasy I already have in my mind.”

She flicked me with her tail and shook her head, trying to keep her grin from growing any wider. “Okay, that’s enough out of you. We got a busy day ahead of us.”

“Busy? I thought it was a lecture day?”

She smiled, though it wasn’t one of her rare, genuine ones. No, this was a predatory one. One that she reserved for times when she knew something others did not. “Oh, it is. Except there’s a test. From Five Stars.”

I blinked. “Oh, a test. That’s not too…” I paused, then narrowed my eyes. “Wait, when you say test, do you mean test,” I sighed and gave her a look of mock disapproval. “... or do you mean test.” I waggled my eyebrows and nodded while giving her a thumbs up. “Because I’m up for either, but I’m kind of leaning more towards the latter.”

“Ugh, you’re getting to be as bad as Gabe, I swear,” she said with a helpless groan and a soft chuckle. “No, you’re not going to be rutting Five Stars. Not only because she’s not the kind of mare to flag her tail for every person who asks, but also because I don’t think you’re ready for her.”

“I bet Ambrosia would beg to differ.”

Pizzelle opened her mouth to object, only to close it and continue walking down the street with me.

I smirked a little. “I’m not apologizing for that, by the way.”

Pizzelle grunted, “I’m starting to consider separating you and Gabe in class from now on. Between the two of you, I’m not sure Five Stars would be ready for your barrage of one liners and corny humor.”

“Well, as my teacher, it ill behooves you to have rowdy students in the classroom. I see your logic there.”

“...no.” Pizzelle said, turning to face me directly. “No puns. Those are low-hanging fruit, and if Ribbon catches word of them, she’ll start competing with you and it’ll be an endless back and forth of one bad joke after another.”

“Alright, alright, I’ll stop.” I studied her body language for a moment, noting that her posture was a tad more rigid than earlier, and she seemed to be intent on keeping her gaze ahead. Her ears were folded back a little, and her tail seemed to be swinging a little faster to the left and right. “Hey… Pizzelle…? Did I just tick you off or something?”

All traces of her irritation vanished. “H-huh?” She blinked, and then sighed. “Oh, no… sorry. Well… okay, maybe I’m…” She mumbled something that I was unable to make out.

“Huh?” I frowned. “Didn’t catch that.”

“I said maybe I’m a little jealous, okay?” Her wings flapped a bit as she picked up her pace. “I’m glad you and Ambrosia had a good time, but…” She shook her head. “Don’t worry about it. It’s nothing personal.” When she noticed my gaze was still focused on her, she added. “I promise. Ambrosia’s a sweet mare, and I’m not going to be petty over something like who got to have the first lesson with you.”

“You’re a real flatterer, Pizzelle…” I cleared my throat. “If it makes you feel any better, if things continue the way they are, by the time we get to have our weekend together, I’m sure I’ll be much better than I am right now.”

Another flap of her wings, and a few flicks of her tail. Her ears didn’t flatten this time, though, and she let out a huff. “Drop the teasing for now, Darren. Please.”

“Alright,” I replied, giving her a concerned look. She seemed fine. She looked a bit flustered, but… well, I’m sure the whole development with needing security at the branch building has been putting a strain on her, as well as the rest of the employees at the office.

That or maybe I was pushing the sexual tension envelope a little too hard. I’d make it up to her in time, hopefully.

In due time, we found ourselves walking down the cul-de-sac where the Gentlemen for Mares Hoofington branch building was. Before I could react, though, Pizzelle walked in front of me, almost causing me to trip. Her wings had splayed out a little, and her gaze remained locked forward.

“Whoa, what gives, Pizzelle? I almost—”

“Darren, hush…” Pizzelle said, her tone firm yet lacking any anger or annoyance.

Confused, I followed her gaze, only to take note of a group of about a two dozen individuals. Most of them were, judging from the distance, mares. Four or five of them were stallions, and there was a lone woman amongst the group. Some of the ponies were holding up signs. I felt a chill of dread run down my spine when a few ponies took note of us.

Now, between classes over the past week or so, I had managed to catch up on Five Stars’ articles. While I’m all for freedom of speech and having an opinion, I had less than positive thoughts regarding the way one of the big anti-Gentlemen for Mares groups called H.E.R.D. was acting recently. Between the horrible—and for most part inaccurate—things they have said about my work and how it’s a “threat” to Equestria and the at times violent actions they’ve taken against those who’ve published Five Stars’ articles… well…

… I’m sure the term non-violent protest isn’t in the vast majority of H.E.R.D’s members’ vocabulary…

I was, therefore, a little surprised to see the ponies just glance at us for a moment longer before returning their gaze to the building. Pizzelle seemed to relax a touch, too, her wings folding back to her sides. I did notice, however, that she kept herself between the group and I as we continued down the street.

“You’re ruining our families!” shouted one mare as we passed them by, followed by shouts of agreement.

“Stop encouraging comfort horse industries!”

The hell are they talking about…? I opened my mouth to speak, but Pizzelle shook her head.

“Don’t,” She said to me, her voice firm and commanding. “It’s not worth it, Darren. They’ve been peaceful so far. Don’t give them any fuel to feed the fire.”

I frowned, but gave a nod. We made our way up the sidewalk leading towards the building, only to be greeted by another odd sight.

There, standing in front of the walkway leading up to the entrance, was a dragon. Maybe ten feet tall or so. The dragon had light green scales with splotches of bronze around their wings. Bronze, feather-shaped spines ran down the dragon’s back, and I could make out a pair of ruddy gold eyes watching us behind a pair of large sunglasses that rested on a thin snout.

“Good morning, Molt.”

The dragon’s eyes lit up as they lowered their sunglasses. “Ah, ‘sup Miss Pizzelle? This one of the newbies?”

Huh. Okay, I wasn’t expecting that for a greeting. But, judging from his voice, at least I knew he was a male now, likely in his ‘teen’ years, if I were to guess. I’d have to get the differences between dragon males and females down at some point to avoid further confusion, though, that was for certain.

Pizzelle gave me an amused glance before nodding to the dragon. “Yes, this is Darren,” she replied with a smile. “Darren, this is our new Head of Security, Molt of Lavaspew Island.”

“I don’t actually spew lava, either, little dude, just fire. Don’t worry too much.” He held out a closed fist and smirked. When we bumped fists, he even made a small explosion sound effect when we pulled away. “Rad stuff, Darren.”

I looked to Pizzelle and gave her a look that clearly said, ‘Is this guy for real?’.

Molt seemed to notice my look to Pizzelle. “Aw, I know what you’re thinking, dude. You’re thinking ‘Is this guy for real’, right?”

Okay, that’s a little scary, but I nodded in reply, doing my best not to appear too embarrassed.

He chuckled and gave me a easygoing smile. “No worries, I get it a lot. I’ve worked for security at a few Sapphire Shore concerts back when she was dominating the charts, and I’ve had a few years experience in Las Pegasus security.” He buffed his knuckles against his chest. “I know what I’m doing here, no sweat. I even got a Hoofsie stamp from Coloratura at a charity concert in Manehattan once after doing such a rad job.” He smiled fondly, only for his expression to sober up a bit. “She probably would’ve given me a hug, too, if it weren’t for that jerk of a manager she had, though…”

Pizzelle couldn’t help but grin. “Molt’s also very familiar with Equestrian laws and he’s trained in a few martial arts styles. I would know, since I helped interview him.”

Martial arts, sunglasses, and muscles. Now I’m picturing a cross between Smaug and Johnny Bravo… I decided to keep that thought to myself.

“Well, don’t let me keep you from getting your education on, dude.” Molt stepped aside, letting us enter. “Oh, hey, Pizzelle, could you see if Manila could get me another cup of her chai tea? That stuff was great, and I could totally go for, like, ten more cups of it.”

“You got it, big guy,” Pizzelle replied, waving a farewell to him as we entered the building.

After a quick greeting from Manila, followed by her eagerly agreeing to bring out another incrediblylarge cup of chai tea, Pizzelle and I made our way into the large classroom where Luckette normally held her lectures. Gabe, Alex, Martin, and Arnold were already in their seats and chatting away.

“Oh! There’s Mr. Natural himself!” Gabe replied, greeting me with a smug grin.

I paused, recognizing that particular expression from a mile away. It was the same look he gave me when I started dating Mel back in college, and the same look he would give me when he had a story to share with others that involved something stupid I did at a house party during our college years.

“What’d you hear about me this time?” I asked while taking a seat.

“Well… I may, or may not, have heard that you know how to use your thumbs.” Gabe crossed his arms behind his head while Martin snickered in amusement.

“...yeah, and…?”

“Oh, no, that’s it. Just thought you’d like the nickname. You seem to be taking to the work rather well, honestly.” Gabe glanced over to Alex. “Better than Mr. Lorentz did this weekend in Cloudsdale, at least.”

“Dude, screw you,” Alex replied gruffly. “Try walking on condensed water vapor while floating a couple thousand feet in the air and tell me how you fare. I got better after Storm Surge got us to the hotel anyway, so it’s not a huge deal.”

“He wasn’t that bad, Gabe,” Arnold said with a laugh. “Besides, I didn’t do much better while I was there. If Rainbowshine hadn’t been there, I may have lost my stomach and maybe hit an unfortunate pony down on earth…” He frowned. “Speaking of which, I still never got an answer on how their plumbing and sewage systems work in Cloudsdale…Rainbowshine kept avoiding that question with me.”

“Probably best that we don’t find out…” Martin replied. “Well, I had a great weekend in Neighagra Falls with Jamboree… though I think we might have to avoid that place for a little while.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Um… Jamboree and I may have almost gotten caught by the local authorities for public indecency.” He raised both hands up before Gabe could make any remarks. “No, I’m not telling you how we got away from them, either. It’s… just a weird story, and we’d be here all day if I told it.”

I couldn’t help but smirk. “Out in the open, huh?”

“Yeah, I mean, it was late, and there wasn’t anyone around in the water park, so…”

I decided to keep my own comment on my weekend’s escapades in public parks to myself for the time being. “Ah. Well, at least you’re not in jail.”

“Yeah,” Martin chuckled. “I think Jamboree has a thing for risky stuff, though. The minute we got back to our hotel, she had me pinned to the bed and—”

Our conversation was interrupted by the sound of a hoof thumping against wood. We all turned to face the front, greeted by the familiar face of Five Stars. “Morning, boys.” We all shared quick greetings, and she nodded in approval. “Well, I haven’t heard all the specifics, yet, but it sounds like you all had wonderful lessons with your instructors this weekend. It also sounds like a few of you were very fast learners about the finer points of the job.” Five Stars made a point of meeting my gaze, earning a chuckle from Gabe and Martin. “So, congrats on your first successful sessions. Just keep in mind they’re going to get more intense in the days to come. We’ll be expecting more of you as time passes.”

“I’m sure we’ll be up to the task, Five Stars,” Martin replied. “I’m just worried we’ll fall short of Darren, here.”

There was a few more chuckles from Gabe and Martin, this time accompanied by Alex as well.

“Okay, enough you three.” She rolled her eyes. “Darren, I suppose it’s only fair to explain, since you seem confused: Ambrosia was perhaps a little… enthusiastic in sharing her experience this past weekend.” She winked. “Don’t worry too much, though. Nothing but rave reviews, I assure you.”

Ah, that explained things a bit. I guess I can’t be that upset with Ambrosia. If she was that pleased with my performance, well, who was I to complain?

“Before we get into the nitty-gritty of today’s work, I would like to point out what I’m sure all of you have already noticed upon arriving here this morning.” Five Stars’ smile fell a bit. “Someone must’ve spread the word about this branch building’s location, and we’ve managed to attract a small group of individuals who don’t really approve of us.”

“I take it that means we won’t be joining them during lunch break, huh?” Gabe asked.

“Gabe, I’m sure if anyone could pull that off without a problem, it’d be you,” said a new voice. We all turned to the entrance to see Silky walking in with Platinum Corona right beside her. Silky arched an eyebrow at Gabe as she continued. “However, I do believe that it’s in all of your best interests to keep away from them as much as possible.”

With that said, Silky turned to Platinum Corona. Today, Platinum was wearing a white mask that covered up much of the top half of her face. She was also wearing a designer business suit of dark violet, and I’d be lying if I said she didn’t make it work. The suit had a bit of flair and golden trim to it that I believe was of Saddle Arabian design, but I may have been wrong. If you study enough on Equestrian culture, you start learning about the other cultures and trends of Tellus’ nations as well. Royal Ribbon would later explain to me during one of our sessions that Platinum came from Saddle Arabia, or at least had familial ties there. So the clothing choice made a lot sense, I suppose. It definitely explained why she could have qualified as a character from one of Shahrazad’s many tales at the very least.

Returning my focus to the mares before me, I listened as Platinum added, “That’s right, Silky. I don’t think I need to explain to you five that there are plenty of groups out there that are less than friendly toward our business. Five Stars has dealt with them plenty herself, and our friends at New York Life and Manehattan Post have had more than a few… issues with them as well.”

“I need to ask,” Gabe said after a moment of silence had passed. “Whatever happened to freedom of press? I mean… I’m pretty sure your country has something similar to that civil right, or am I wrong?”

Platinum let out a sigh. One that spoke volumes about how old this issue was getting for her. “Believe me when I say that we have pointed this out numerous times while dealing with groups like H.E.R.D. Unfortunately, some individuals just don’t care as long as whatever it is you do goes against what they believe in.”

“The truth is that the vast majority of our collective worlds aren’t that concerned about this. There’s plenty of businesses in Equestria and on Earth that are focused in the adult industry,” Silky added with a shrug. “Some folks just don’t like it when their sensibilities are tested.”

Gabe spun around in his chair to face me and Alex. “Were we ever like that in college?”

“Well,” Alex began, “...there was that one time during an election year that you dressed up as Andrew Ryan from Bioshock and quoted him for a week at those student political protests outside our dorm…”

“You still never explained how you got a hold of that megaphone for me, Alex. It was much appreciated, though,” Gabe said with a smirk.

“Boys,” Five Stars called to us. “If you don’t mind…?” She nodded to Platinum and Silky, all while trying to fight down the smirk on her face.

Platinum let her own smile cross her lips as she continued. “For now, just try to avoid any confrontations with the group. They’ve been exercising their right to protest relatively well, and while it’s annoying, we’re not going to stop them from doing what they do as long as they don’t try to stop us in turn.” She produced a clipboard from thin air with a glow of her horn, and continued. “Now then, on to our plans for today… Five Stars unfortunately has to leave us later today. Her little break from the public eye is just about done, so she wanted to do give a final test to you five.” She looked up from her clipboard, and her smile grew. “A written test.”

There was a groan from Martin, Gabe, and Alex. I sighed a bit, and Arnold just laughed at the boys’ annoyance.

“Yes, yes, we’re absolutely horrible ponies, making you do tests to see how well you know the other aspects of your work. However do we sleep at night?” Platinum scribbled something on the clipboard with a ballpoint pen gripped in her magic, then cleared her throat. “Now, Silky, I think we may as well get this test started. Care to do the honors?”

Silky grinned. “Sure.” She picked up a stack of papers, and set four sheets of paper that had been stapled together on each of our desks. “This isn’t anything too crazy as far as testing goes. We’re just trying to see what you’ve all retained so far from your lessons, and to gauge how you would handle situations on the job. A lot of the questions have no single answer. Just answer them as best as you can.”

“Are we getting graded on this?” Gabe asked, his voice a mixture of sarcasm and annoyance.

“This is just a test to see where you all are right now with general Equestrian knowledge. If you’re struggling with some of the things, we’ll make sure to bring you up to speed.” Silky looked to the clock on the wall. “I’ll give you an hour to complete the test, then we’ll go from there…”

Turns out, I was actually well off as far as what Gentleman for Mares saw to be important knowledge on Equestrian culture. A lot of the questions related to what-if situations that required more writing out an explanation than simply choosing an answer from a list of multiple choices. For example, one of the first questions had asked the following: “Your client has informed you upon meeting her that she has begun her heat cycle today, but she never informed your handler or the company of this sudden news. What do you do?”

Considering I had never dealt with a mare in heat yet, I wasn’t one hundred percent sure. I had answered honestly, though, and said that depending on how well I knew the client, I may or may not continue the night with her. If I trusted her enough, I might not worry about it. The company may not wholeheartedly approve of it, but this kind of work had a very personal element to it. I don’t think I could ever have the ability to simply treat every client like a way to pay my bills. They were all living, breathing individuals with their own personalities, dreams, and needs. It’d be virtually impossible for me to look past that.

I remember Luckette describing that every mare dealt with her heat differently, but it could range from a minor annoyance to driving a pony to act like a sex-starved maniac. Part of me found the latter intriguing, but… well… there is such a thing as having too much of a good thing.

“Some of those questions were leaving a lot open to opinion,” Gabe said while we sat in the lunchroom. It was about one o’clock in the afternoon, and we were all enjoying some deep dish pizza that Platinum had ordered for us after completing our tests. How she managed to get a sausage and pepperoni pizza so quickly in a pony-dominant city like Hoofington was beyond me, but she earned brownie points in my book for doing so.

“You think?” Alex asked. “It was pretty obvious. Hell, it was a dead giveaway after that third question that asked, ‘A Duchess with long-standing customer loyalty to Gentlemen for Mares suggests she invite her well-to-do friend to join the two of you in her hotel room. Do you accept extra payment and not tell, or decline and risk losing a prospective client?’ I mean, the fact I remember the question says just how many damn times I read it over while thinking about it. Seriously, that’s a tough one, because depending on how hot the two are, I might go for it either—”

“Think of it like a novice psychological analysis,” Arnold replied as he took another slice from the box. “They want to know if you can be trusted to make sound decisions.”

“Yeah, but seriously, some of those questions were tough,” Gabe continued. “I mean, would any of you turn down a chance at a threesome with two mares?”

The relative silence that fell upon the room spoke louder than words.

“Yeah, exactly,” he said with a note of smugness in his voice.

“That’s a good way to lose your job, though, isn’t it?” I asked. “I mean, I’m pretty sure that was covered back during our first week. Gentleman for Mares doesn’t give freebies.”

The door to the lunchroom opened, and we all looked up to find Five Stars and Platinum walking in, followed by Silky and Manila. Platinum looked to each of us before giving one of her rare smiles. “You’ll be happy to know that none of you failed our test. Though, to be honest, such a thing would be rather hard to do if you were being serious about the test, so I think it’s fair to say that you’re all fit to remain Gentlemen.”

“Don’t relax quite yet, though,” Five Stars added. The grin she gave us was practically screaming mischief as she continued. “Now that you’ve completed the written portion of the test, it’s time for the physical portion of the test.”

Judging by the stares we all gave her, I wasn’t the only one afraid to voice my request for clarification on what she meant by ‘physical’.

Silky giggled before stepping forward. “Before you boys ask, yes, she does mean you’ll be demonstrating your skills. This portion will be a lot less stringent and more open-ended as far as ‘grading’ goes.” She then gave us a grin that matched Five Stars. “Though, in the end, how your instructor will feel towards the end will determine how well you’ve done.”

“Wait, we’re already doing tests on how well we screw?” Gabe asked, sounding equal amounts pleased and annoyed. “I mean, that’s cool and all, but we’ve only had one session with our instructors so far.”

Platinum gave a nod. “I understand your concern, Gabe, but this won’t be a make or break situation for any of you. If it helps, any, this test will be three hours in length.”

Martin laughed. “Platinum, I may be in good shape, but I don’t think even I could go for that long. The body is only capable of going so long.”

“Consider the extra time a buffer, then,” Platinum replied, pulling out a folder and revealing our tests within. “I took time to give a reply to each of you on how I feel you did on the written tests. Please take time to read over what I’ve written later when you’re not busy.” She handed each of our tests with a flick of her horn, placing the papers in our hands. “Alright, Silky, you have the floor.”

Silky smiled and then turned to Manila, who had been quiet up until now. “Manila? You have the selections made?”

“Mm.” She adjusted her glasses before reading over a piece of paper on a clipboard. “Let’s see… Gabe, you’ll be with Dawnweave in room A right down the hall. She’s made no requests other than to…” She squinted before continuing with a clearing of her throat. “... do that thing you did for Sugar Belle last weekend to her… she says you’ll know what she’s talking about.”

Gabe actually flushed in the cheeks a bit, but nodded quietly and got up. He gave us a wave before making his way out of the lunchroom and down the hall.

“Martin?” Manila continued. “Jamboree is waiting for you in room C. No requests except to ‘rock her world’.” She frowned. “Those are her words. Not mine.”

Martin grinned and got up from his chair. “See you guys on the other side.”

“Alex?” He nodded as she continued. “Candy Apple’s in room E. Um… she makes no promises on being gentle. She’s an Apple mare, after all. She’s got… a-applebucking hips, and she knows how to use them.” She cleared her throat again, her cheeks now a noticeable shade of crimson. “Silky, are you sure they aren’t just pranking me here?”

Silky, much to her credit, kept a straight face. Five Stars raised a hoof to her lips in an attempt to cover her smile. Platinum’s shoulders were shaking a little as she tried to hold back a snicker while studying her hooves with intense interest.

“N-no, of course not,” Silky replied, though the mirthful look on her face said otherwise.

Manila sighed and adjusted her glasses once more. “Arnold? Rainbowshine is waiting for you in room G. No need to worry about clouds this time, but you’ll be needing…” She paused, then grumbled. “Oh, come on! You can’t tell me this isn’t a joke!”

Silky was biting on her inner cheek as Five Stars did her best not to laugh. “Manila, I’m sure it’s nothing bad. Go on and read it!”

“...” Manila’s ears fell flat for a moment before she let out a snort. “...she says you’ll be needing an ice pack or two when you’re done, because it’s going to be hot.”

Arnold, ever the classy gentleman that he is, just smiled. “Thank you, Manila.”

Finally, it was just me. Manila’s cheeks lost some of their rosey hue, and she looked to me directly. “Darren, I’m afraid Royal Ribbon was supposed to meet with you in room I today. But, she got caught up with some family matters back in Canterlot, so she is unable to join you today. It sounds like she’s going to have to give you a raincheck on the trip to Las Pegasus this weekend, too. She says she’s sorry, and will make it up to you as soon as she can.”

“Oh… uh… so, is Pizzelle going to be with me, or Ambrosia?”

Another shake of her head. “Ambrosia left early this morning. She’s attending an instructor class at our Las Pegasus headquarters that she still needed to complete, and Pizzelle had to go back to Cloudsdale to touch base with… some of our clients.”

“So… I’m not going to be participating then?”

“No,” Silky replied. “I’ll be working with you instead.”

“O-oh!” I blinked. “Huh, really? Isn’t that… sort of going against some protocol regarding work relationships?”

“Not really, no. I’m qualified to be a handler, and I’ve gone through all the necessary courses to help with this sort of class work.” Then, like someone flipped a switch, her smile went from amicable to seductive as hell; half-lidded eyes and all. “Think of it as a chance for me to personally see what you’ve learned so far.”

“Someone’s eager,” Five Stars commented. “Don’t be too intimidated, Darren.”

Easier said than done. I gave Five Stars a nod, and looked to Silky once more. “So... uh… room I, right?”

“Mmhm.” Silky turned around and made her way down the hall, putting a sway in her hips as she disappeared down the hall. “Don’t keep me waiting, Darren!”

I got up after watching her leave for a few moments, intending to follow. Five Stars, however, held out a hoof and gently stopped me. “Darren?”

“Yeah?”

She smiled. “Just remember to make sure you both have fun, and everything will be fine.” She gave me a gentle nudge to continue down the hall, and added. “And I’m glad you’ve been enjoying my articles. Pizzelle says you’re all caught up now, huh?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah!” I smiled. “Not going to lie, either; if you decided to go into the erotic literature business, you’d have no trouble making a living out of it. There’s plenty of humans alone that would eat the stuff up, and you aren’t a stranger to the way we go at it if last article was anything to go by.”

She laughed at that, “Ah, so you got to the September issue. Not sure how I manage to get those articles written sometimes, what with traveling, work, and vacation.”

Manila laughed. “A muse is a wonderful driving force when you have it, I suppose.”

Five Stars nodded in agreement. “Right, well, let’s not keep you from Silky any longer than we have. Go on. Try not to break the bed’s box spring, alright?”

I laughed, feeling my nerves settle a bit as I made my way to room I. When I opened the door, and was greeted to a rather comfy looking room. The curtains were closed over the single window looking out to the backyard of the building, and there were three candles providing me enough light to see Silky laying on the bed. There was a faint smell of jasmine in the air.

I felt my heartbeat pick up a bit as I smiled to the pegasus. “Fancy meeting you here.”

She just smiled in return, letting her wings stretch out over the bed. In the soft candlelight, her light tan coat was covered in faint shadows, obscuring parts of her figure. Only her bright blue eyes and golden mane were easy to make out in the dark. “I’m afraid I have a small confession to make, Darren. Back when we had first met, I was just coming out of my heat cycle. I… apologize if I had made you feel uncomfortable back when we talked.”

I waved a hand. “Apology accepted, but you don’t need to worry. Luckette explained to us about how difficult it can be to deal with a heat cycle. I’m afraid I can’t entirely relate to it, but trust me when I say I’m not holding anything against you.”

And like that, she seemed to relax. “Hah. That’s…” She nodded, relief etched into her expression. “I should have known you’d be understanding.” She sighed, “For what it’s worth, Darren, I do find you attractive.” She patted the spot on the bed beside her, encouraging me to take a seat. I did so, surprised by how quietly the mattress gave in to my additional weight being added. Not a single creak of springs.

Likely designed that way, considering the stress put upon them, I imagine.

“So, Silky…” I let my eyes linger on her wings. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Hmmm…” I met her gaze as she gave me a thoughtful look. “Perhaps… would you mind preening my wings?”

I smiled, letting a flash of teeth show. “Pizzelle must have talked about my little preening session with her, huh?”

“She… may have put a good word in for you, yes.” She flexed out her wings a little more, and added softly. “Though, if you don’t mind, I’d like to do this… without any substitute oils.” She lifted her wings, exposing the base where her glands were. “If you don’t mind, that is. I can understand if this is a bit out of your comfort zone. Not everyone likes touching another’s oil glands. I pride myself in personal hygiene, though, and I can assure you that preening with oil glands is safe and not harmful to humans.”

I shook my head and flexed my hands a bit. “I don’t mind at all, and I’ll do my best to meet your expectations,” I answered softly. I moved to adjust my seating, only for Silky to stop me.

“Wait…” She looked me over, frowning a little as she looked at my shirt. “Take off the shirt.” She locked gazes with me. “Please.”

Trying to hold back my amused grin, I took of my shirt in one swift motion before tossing it on a chair. “Better?”

She looked me over once, her tail swishing from left to right while her wings stiffened a bit. “Much.”

I scooted closer, and let her rest on my lap. She clearly had no reservations, having chose to lie on her back and expose her underside fully for me. Without even thinking, I ran a hand across the soft coat of her underbelly, causing a little gasp to escape her lips.

“W-wings, Darren,” she breathed, her tail flicking from side to side. “Let’s not skip right to the main course before sampling the hors d'oeuvres.” She fanned out her wings to their full length, and human or not, I couldn’t help but marvel at the sight. There was a natural beauty in the image before me, and I couldn’t help but relate to the ancient Greeks who wrote of the noble flying equine in myth and legend. I was beginning to understand how such a majestic creature endured the ages and remained a popular image of the ancient culture.

“Darren?” she asked, giggling a bit. “Tellus to Darren, you there?”

“H-huh?” I blinked. “Oh, right, sorry…” I chuckled. “Just… taking in the sight.”

“Mm. I suppose I’m a little guilty of that as well.” She reached up with a hoof and brushed it against my face. “Looks like someone didn’t shave this morning…”

“It’s… just a bit of scruff.” I replied, not really wanting to admit she was right.

“I think it’s nice.”

I felt the softest bit of pressure as one of the odd digits beneath her hoof pressed against my jawline. I may have leaned into the contact a bit, earning another giggle from her.

“O-okay, I think I’ll cut off on the teasing… for now,” she said after a few more gentle brushes of her hoof. “So, you’ve never preened a pegasus naturally, correct?”

“Can’t say I have, no. Just with substitute products, no oil glands.”

She nodded slowly. “It’s just like what you did with Pizzelle, but without the bottle of oil at your disposal. Just… lightly press the fingers against my wing base, right by my gland. Don’t pinch, though; that will hurt more than anything…” She flexed her left wing a bit, exposing the small nub that was her gland. “You’ll know when you’re doing it right.”

I hesitated for a moment before moving a hand gently over her wing base. Taking my index and middle finger, I pressed gently on the gland and felt a slight dampness coat my fingers. There was no smell or color to the fluid. It may as well have been water, were it not a little bit… well, oilier…

“W-wow… okay, definitely a quick learner…” she breathed. “Now, just run your fingers like you did with Pizzelle over the underside of my wings.” Another flick of her tail from side to side. “Just repeat what you did when your fingers aren’t slick anymore.”

I did as was asked, and was rewarded with a long, drawn out sigh as I ran a finger across her primaries. Silky all but melted under my touch, though her wings seemed to be twitching and growing even stiffer.

Speaking of things getting stiff, I think I was quickly coming to accept the fact that wingplay was a thing for me. At least, judging by the increasing tightness in my pants, this was the case. My experience with Pizzelle had been nice in its own way; relaxing, and on a certain level, emotional.

With Silky, though, there was a clear undercurrent of desire and expectation that things were going to get more heated before we were finished. It didn’t help that I had a very clear view of her marehood right now, and it took every fiber of my being to not go to town on her right then and there.

I think she knew this, too. The twinkling in her eyes and the soft giggles were all the evidence I needed, really. Smirking, I continued to focus as best as I could on her wings, cutting off her giggles with a rather intentional brush of the base of her wing, causing her to shudder.

“I thought you said you were done teasing?” I asked as her cheeks flushed.

“I… like to bend the truth?” she replied. “Technically, you’re the one who’s looking at me and getting all excited.” She gave me a knowing smile when I raised an eyebrow. “You can’t deny it when I feel your erection prodding me in the back.”

“Um… sorry?” I replied with a chuckle.

She gave me a shake of her head and smiled good-naturedly. “I don’t mind, really. I’m enjoying this a lot myself, as I’m sure you can tell.” She opened up her legs a little more to emphasize her point, the faint scent of her arousal finally reaching me. “Let’s just not rush this too much, okay? We have all the time we need.”

For the better part of fifteen minutes we remained like that; Silky lying on my lap with her wings splayed fully and her underbelly vulnerable to the occasional touch of my fingers. I eventually had preened both of her wings to the best of my ability in the candlelight, and she admired them with an approving nod after getting back to her hooves.

“Well, for only your second time doing this, Darren, I have to admit, I’m rather impressed…” She flapped them a few times for good measure, though this proved to be a tad difficult, given that they were still rather stiff. “Pizzelle’s praise for you was well earned. Thank you.”

“No, thank you,” I replied. “I actually enjoyed it quite a bit.”

Silky gave me an amused look as she plopped down beside me on the bed. She had the thinnest trail of sweat running down her brow and neck, matting locks of her blond mane to her tan coat. “I may be relatively new to this part of the business, but… I can’t say I know too many Gentleman who seem to find genuine enjoyment in preening of all things.”

“I believe that’s going to give me an edge in a niche market then, isn’t it?”

She snorted at that, “No doubt. Either way… it might be worth for you to hone your skills in preening. Never know when it might come in handy.” She then added with a soft poke to the chest with a hoof, “Just be sure to keep up with the rest of your training, too, Mr. Natural.”

“So help me, if that becomes my call sign.”

“What?” She laughed. “It’s not that bad, really. You should hear some of the names Gentlemen have adopted. Many of them get their alias for a variety of reasons. I heard about one guy who got his name from biting an instructor’s wings…” She scrunched her nose up a bit. “I… guess the name does have a double meaning for being a friend who helps other friends pick up possible dates, though… hm…” She tapped her chin. “We have a former doctor who simply goes by ‘The Doctor’, too.”

“A Doctor?” I grinned. “Who?”

She gave me a confused look, and shrugged. “I’m… not really sure who it is, but that’s what they call themselves.”

I laughed. “Nevermind, I guess it’s still a little too soon for you Equestrians to get the joke. Give it time.”

Instead of asking further, she just smirked and rolled her eyes. “You silly, talking primates.”

“Says the magical pony species that can fly and walk on clouds.”

“Fair enough,” she ceded with a wave of her hoof. “Anyway…” She glanced down at my jeans, and I was quickly reminded of my own predicament. “Aside from preening, you seem to have a way of distracting others from the task at hand, Darren.”

“My sincerest apologies, Silky. You did say you wanted to draw this out for a bit, though, if I remember right.”

“Oh, arguing now, are we?”

I just folded my hands behind my back. “Just calling them like I see them.”

I was promptly tackled onto the bed, Silky putting the full weight of her body and keeping me pinned. Her mischievous grin gained a hungry edge to it. “It’s not nice to tease a lady.”

“Didn’t you just admit to doing that same thing to me not too long—mmph!” I was cut off from further argument by her lips. The faint taste of cinnamon and sugar. Huh, weird.

Not raspberry lemonade, like Full Bloom… but still cool. Definitely weird, but… cool!

We pulled away, the subtle hunger in Silky’s eyes now easy to see in the dim light of the bedroom. She littered my neck and jawline with kisses as ran my hands down the length of her wings and shoulders, earning pleasant gasps and mewls from the mare the whole time.

“Okay… okay…” She breathed, talking more to herself than me. She put a bit of distance between us with a gentle push of her hoof. “Darren, before we begin…” She exhaled, and seemed to regain some semblance of control over herself. “Did Ambrosia go over the basic positions with you? I’m… having a brief lapse in memory, it seems.”

“Yeah, we did,” I answered.

“Good… good…” She exhaled again, and leaned over to the mini fridge beside the bed, one that I had failed to see until now. “Want a juice? Water?”

“Water will be fine.”

“Great, um… here you are.” She handed me a cold bottle of water and grabbed a bottle of what appeared to be apple juice for herself. “Hydration is key: never forget that.” She winked and guzzled down the bottle in a few quick gulps. “Whew, um… wow, okay, let’s just check in the mini-fridge here once more…ah ha! Here we are.” She pulled out a much smaller bottle—no, a vial—with a clear label indicating it to be a booster. “Okay, now, this is a diluted formula” She paused, then asked, “Ambrosia went over boosters with you, right?”

I took a few sips of my own bottle and nodded. “Mmhmm. They’re like magical viagra, or something close to it.” When she quirked an eyebrow, I elaborated. “Boosters are sexual performance enhancers with magical and chemical properties that can, in proper dosages, help increase stamina while decreasing the time between refractory periods.” I matched her expectant look with my own. “I could go into more detail from what I read if I want.”

She grinned. “Alright, you’ve proven your point.” She set the vial on the nightstand before turning back to me. “I don’t think you’ll need one for me, but there may come a time when you need to take one in order to… handle a client. Specifically, you’ll likely need one if you’re servicing a mare in heat, and especially so if she’s a skipper. From a purely statistical standpoint, about a third of those clients are earth ponies, too, so there you go.”

“Makes sense. I’m still not sure how I feel about earth pony strength after seeing Alex trying to keep Five Stars from pushing him into a wall, though.”

Silky gave me a sympathetic smile. “For what it’s worth, most earth ponies are fairly conscious about how much strength they use. It’s also important to remember that earth pony strength in of itself a form of magic. It can be taxing to constantly throw around that much power, so you’re not going to see your average client suplexing you onto the bed and having her way with you.”

“...has something like that actually happened?” I dared to ask.

“Only once, I think it was a year ago,” Silky replied. “Though, I think that was also some request for roleplay by the client, so the Gentleman was prepared for it.” She blinked, then grinned. “And there you go again, getting me off topic.” She pressed a hoof against my chest, pushing me onto the bed. She then glanced at the vial of booster formula, her smile slipping a little. “Now, it’s your choice here, and yours alone. Do you want to take the booster? It’s produced by a trusted vendor, and if you want I can give you a printout of the medical information.”

I thought it over for a moment. I had taken a diluted sample of a booster mixed with some juice while I was with Ambrosia in Manehattan, but not a pure form of it. Would it be okay with me? Honestly, while I wasn’t all that bothered by magic, I wasn’t too sure if I wanted something so potent going through my inner workings. At least, not yet.

“I think I’ll pass,” I replied. “For now. If there’s no need for it, I don’t think I should take any.”

She nodded. “That’s perfectly fine, and if we’re both going to be honest here, I’m glad you think that way.” She opened the fridge up and placed the vial back inside it. “Now… how about we get these annoying pants off?”

After several minutes of Silky stubbornly refusing my help to undo the zipper, we eventually got my jeans off and I was now in only my boxers, finding the pegasus mare sitting on my stomach, just close enough that her rump was able to brush against my groin if she so wished.

It occurred to me that in normal circumstances, such a situation would be something along the lines of morally questionable as far as work ethics go. She was, for the lack of a better term, my boss. Manila, who handled the Equestrian equivalent of Human Resources concerns, would have her work cut out for her dealing with the paperwork were this sort of thing to happen back on Earth.

Though, I suppose the same could be said about my training with Ambrosia, Pizzelle, and Royal Ribbon, but that was up for debate if one wanted to get technical. I had no actual handler yet, so Silky more or less held that position in my work. And, as I was informed when I had first started this whirlwind of job-training, handlers commonly continued to work with their Gentlemen to make sure their skills were remaining up to snuff.

Even so, given the nature of the business, this may not be all that uncommon. The fact that both Platinum Corona and Five Stars—who I would later learn had far more influence in the business than I had initially expected—more or less gave us the green light for this unorthodox training spoke volumes. If they said it was okay, then I didn’t see any problem with it, and Equestrian law probably didn’t either.

Not to mention I probably would have had a difficult time refusing Silky’s advances right now anyway. Boss or not, she was a very beautiful mare, regardless of her tendency to stay in the background.

She began moving her hips, putting extra pressure on my hardened length every time she rocked back. The feel of her cheeks pressing against my groin was torture for me, but I’d be damned if I didn’t admit to myself that I was enjoying it.

So, it perhaps came as no surprise to her when I suddenly grabbed her by the hips and turned her over onto her back. She let out a surprised squeal, but otherwise made no move to resist. In fact, she had the most devious of smiles on her lips as she landed on the bed with a soft thump.

“Again, what happened to you not teasing me?” I asked, just a hint of a growl in my words as I nibbled against her collarbone.

“Ahhhh, I’m sorry, I’m such a bad filly…mmhmmmnnnn!” she all but whinnied.

I let one hand wander down towards her legs, pausing when I felt a tuft of hair just above her slit, already slick with her own juices thanks to her rocking from earlier. My own boxers were damp from Silky’s slick marehood, and in the back of my mind I wondered if I would have to invest money in separate underwear in the near future specifically for my job.

Letting my fingers dance further down, I gently grazed my thumb against the hardening nub between her lips, and she responded with a strangled gasp, her hips lifting up by reflex as her wings snapped once more to full length. I made a mental note to thank Ambrosia later for forcing me to focus on using my hands later. Maybe a nice lunch downtown during one of our not-so-sensual sessions on the weekends.

Silky had quickly succumbed to my handiwork, her wings twitching stiffly every few moments while her weeping marehood began to thoroughly soak my hands and the sheets beneath her.

“Darren, oh buck, oh buck… mmmh! Mmmhhh!”

Taken her increasing volume as my cue, I took the plunge and let my tongue graze her slit while my fingers began to penetrate her. By now, soundproof spell or no, I’m pretty sure someone in the halls would have heard her outside in the hallway. The moans and vocal approval she let out were muffled by her inner thighs pressing against my ears, though, so I wasn’t all that concerned about it at the moment.

Being the polite mare that she is, Silky gave me a few quick, gentle taps on the head with a hoof. It was what likely qualified as a sign that she was about to unleash a deluge of fluids upon my face.Taken her warning as a challenge, whether that was her intention or not, I pressed my tongue as deep as I could into her velvety folds. She let out a single, drawn out cry that would have made some Prima-Donna singers at an opera envious, and the floodgates opened.

I closed my eyes as warm fluid soaked my face, and I pulled away as her mare-cum covered my chin and neck. A few weaker releases followed as Silky let out a deep, satisfied sigh. Her legs twitched, and upon wiping my eyes and opening them, I could see a look that could only be qualified as ‘fucked silly’ on her face.

Her musk and fluids had pervaded my sense of smell completely. If the sheets had been soaked before, then at this point they were saturated. It was… well…

I really hope whoever cleaned up after us wore a breathing mask.

I couldn’t help but laugh, taking in the entire scene with a mixture of awe and amusement, and couldn’t help but whisper, “Holy shit…”

My laughter seemed to stir Silky from her blissful daze. She blinked a few times before turning to look up at me. Upon seeing my face, her smile disappeared to be replaced with a look of worry. “O-oh sweet Celestia, Darren, I…” She covered her face with her forehooves and whispered. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry…”

“For what?” I laughed. “Silky, in case you forgot, I’m a Gentleman. This is probably the equivalent of a bonus for me to get a mare to this state, right?”

She giggled at that, pulling her hooves away from her face. “I-I guess…” She looked away. “Truth be told, I… don’t have a lot of experience in,” she cleared her throat, “handling Gentlemen, as it were. I’m more of the paper-pusher variety employee, eheh…”

My own expression softened a bit. Freaking Equestrians and their adorable mannerisms.

Shaking my head, I took one of her hooves in my hand and massaged the soft, inner padding. “Well, I don’t mind that. A Gentleman shouldn’t discriminate just because of sexual experience, right?”

Silky nodded quietly. “You’re going to be a wonderful Gentleman by the time you’re finished training.” She arched an eyebrow. “You might want to refrain from such expletives after making your client orgasm, though. Some might take that the wrong way. All the same, I have high hopes for you.”

“Well, don’t make any claims until we’re finished, Silky.”

Her eyebrows rose a bit before she let out a soft squeak. She looked down to her groin area, only to grin as I pressed the tent I was pitching against her inner thighs. Looking back up at me, she laughed. “Give me a minute, and then I can start assessing how well you took notes again.”

An hour later found myself lying on the bed, exhausted and feeling the first signs of sore muscles setting in. Even so, I couldn’t help but be happy.

“... and now, you have to promise not to tell anyone this, but Blossomforth told me she that she tried this thing with another Gentleman where they strap him to a harness and literally rut in the air. The Gentleman got in a bit of trouble after getting injured once, though.” She giggled, but her expression had a hint of sadness in it. I nudged her a bit, and she turned to look at me, a curious look crossing her features. “Hm?”

“You look troubled. Penny for your thoughts?” I asked.

“Oh…” she sighed. “Blossomforth, well… you met her back when you first met me, so you have an idea of how she is. She’s nice, and honestly a good friend, but…” Silky shook her head. “Way back when she moved to Ponyville… I just… feel like I don’t know her anymore. I hardly ever see her aside from the annual festival or two that I go to with her, or the rare chance my friends and I can all get together. I mean, I went to her wedding when she got married and…” She rubbed her eyes a bit. “She’s always been more popular with the colts, and even mares would make eyes at her from time to time. I never let that bother me; I made a promise to myself that I’d never involve myself with colts that she had a thing for a long time ago.” She sniffed. “I just wish that the stallions that would join us for a drink would talk to me and not just her whenever we get together.”

I gently pulled her closer to my side. “Have you ever talked to her about this?”

She shook her head. “No, not really. I mean, I don’t want to trouble her with that kind of stuff, you know? She’s got her own life, and I’m just that mare she still talks to out of some obligation to days long gone. She’s a nice mare, trust me, but I can tell she and I aren’t as close as we used to be. It’s fine; friends come and go, but… it hurts.”

“You should talk to her,” I said encouraginly. “I lost contact with most of my childhood friends, but I was lucky enough to find friends like Gabe and Alex later in life. Those guys are like the brothers you don’t tell your friends about because they embarrass you, but you still love them all the same.”

She laughed at that, “I don’t like playing favorites, but you three are fun to listen to. If I didn’t have an obligation to make sure you guys learn while here, I’d probably just listen to you go banter all day.”

“Gabe and I did a rendition of ‘Who’s On First’ once during a college improv night at the campus theater. I think we went a minute or two longer than intended after I lost my place in telling the joke. Gabe managed to adapt to the slip, though, and as far as I can tell, none of the audience noticed.” I grinned at the memory. “We got a standing ovation, believe it or not.”

“Oh my gosh, I love that skit!” Silky gasped, and tapped my chest with a hoof. “You two should totally do that routine for the annual G4M Ball in Manehattan this year.”

“Uh, how big of a crowd are we talking about here?”

She waved a hoof. “A couple hundred, maybe one thousand? Hard to tell, it varies each year we’ve held it.”

“One thousand? Yeesh, we performed in front of maybe two hundred folks at most when we did the routine. I don’t know…”

“Oh, please think about it, Darren? We get representatives and potential clients each year, and I know a comedy routine would be a nice touch. We get acapellas and stand-up comedy, sure, but sometimes a bit of the classics are what you need to get the crowd laughing.”

“Alright, I’ll consider it. Gabe does make for a pretty good Costello, so we could probably pull it off.”

At that, Silky wrapped her hooves around my midsection and hugged me. “Good, just let me know before December, okay?”

We eventually untangled ourselves from the bed, and after changing back into my clothes, I opened the door, only to find a surprised Manila stumble forward while Five Stars was standing off to the side, an amused look on her face. Manila quickly recovered, trying her best to stare a hole into the carpet while Five Stars gave me a winning smile.

Silky quirked an eyebrow. “How long were you two—?”

“We were… just about to knock!” Manila replied. “I mean… um… we were concerned that you two might have…”

“Might have bumped your heads,” Five Stars finished without missing a beat, Manila nodding vehemently in agreement.

“...bumped our heads?” I repeated.

“Y-yeah, you know, on the… uh… headboard of the bed,” Manila explained, her face so red that I was surprised that her glasses weren’t steaming up. “So, uh… did everything go well…?”

“Judging by the smell, I’d say so…” Five Stars whispered a bit too loudly, taking a whiff of the air coming out of the room.

The two shared looks before Manila shouted quickly, “Not it!”

“Wha- oh come on!” Five Stars whined. “That’s… two rooms that I’m cleaning now!” She grumbled. “I’m here to give lectures, not clean.”

Manila stuck out her tongue, “Yeah, well, try working sixteen hours of overtime every week and then come to me with complaints.” Manila flicked her tail and gave Five Stars a teasing smirk. “Besides, it’d be nice of you to come back down to our level once in awhile. Help remind you of the little ponies that don’t get to share the limelight you have.”

Five Stars’ own smile returned in full force, and she bumped her flank against Manila’s causing the mousy secretary to yelp as she struggled to regain her balance. “Okay, okay, enough teasing me.” She turned her attention back to Silky and I. “No use hiding the truth, I guess. Silky; you need to have the staff check the soundproofing spells on this room. We heard your little operetta from the lecture room and well…” She chuckled as the pegasus beside me blushed. “For somepony who’s special talent is finding ways to make others comfortable and happy, I’d say you and Darren experienced a bit of role reversal earlier.” She looked to Manila for a moment, then added, “Manila was the one who decided to keep listening-in afterwards, though. I just stuck around to make sure she didn’t try peeking in on you two.”

“H-hey!” Manila exclaimed.

“Oh, horsefeathers…” Silky moaned, covering her face with a wing. “You heard all of that?”

“Molt came running into the building when he heard you cry out…” Manila said with small smile. “He was ready for a fight and had the most serious expression on his face…” She adjusted her glasses, and gained a distant look in her eyes while smiling.

Five Stars leaned close and whispered loudly, “She’s got a crush on him.”

“I-I do not!” Manila defended. “I just thought it was nice to see that our security staff is prepared to keep us safe. That’s all…”

“Keep telling yourself that,” Five Stars chuckled. “Right then, SPlatinum just wanted us to remind you to give your report on Mr. Natural by the end of the week on his performance today, Silky.”

“Got it,” Silky replied. “You sticking around or are you still leaving today?”

Five Stars’ smile fell a little. “Sorry. I’m already risking falling behind if I stay around any longer. I got a lot of work to catch up on, not to mention my articles. It was hard enough to keep the fact I was here a secret. I’ll have to save my reports for my visit for later in the autumn. Platinum suggested I visit again in late November, then give all the news on Hoofington once you guys go public. Make it seem like I’m visiting for the first time.”

Silky’s own smile waned. “I don’t like being all secretive about our work here, but I get it.” She sighed, “You’re sure you’ll be able to remember everything a few months from now? We’re not the most exciting of places, after all…”

Five Stars shook her head. “Don’t worry, I have plenty to talk about. Coming here was refreshing. It kind of brings me back to when we first got this company started, actually.” She gave Silky a friendly nuzzle. “And don’t think for a moment that you and the rest of the girls here don’t deserve the praise I’ll be giving.” She looked to me, “Or you Gentlemen, for that matter. I’ll just write about my time here. Whether I tell them I was keeping my visit a secret for those couple months or not will be up to me. I already plan on making my visit here a public thing, though, now that you have security.”

Silky seemed to relax a bit. “Well, either way, I think it’s safe to say that we’re humbled that you want to write about our little building. It’s not Las Pegasus or Manehattan, after all…”

“No, it’s not,” came a new voice, “but I think that’s part of what makes this place so charming. It doesn’t have the flair and multi-story structure of our two main headquarters, but it manages to hold its own. Not to mention you’ll be covering a good portion of our clientele once you’re ready for operations.”

Platinum Corona made her way towards us, and I couldn’t help but feel self-conscious as she looked over Silky and I. I can only imagine what she thought, given our no-doubt disheveled appearances. Not to mention we probably reeked of hot, sweaty sex.

“That’s true. You girls already take care a lot of the paperwork for Gentlemen for Mares,” Five Stars added. “There’s no shame in taking credit where credit is due, Silky.”

Nodding in agreement, Platinum continued. “As it stands, I think this place will be doing well for itself once you get it off the ground. Judging by your rather vocal approval, Silky, I’d say Mr. Halverson will have no trouble with his line of work.”

“Oh, Celestia, please strike me down now,” Silky mumbled as Five Stars and Manila giggled.

Deciding to draw attention away from Silky’s embarrassment, I smirked. “Well, Miss Corona, flattery aside, I think a question needs to be addressed: is it more embarrassing to be overheard having sex or have others find out you were listening-in and enjoying someone’s little rutting session? Some might think the latter to be more perverted than the former, in my opinion.”

Platinum seemed to find my little jab amusing. “I’ll grant you that, Darren.” She looked to Five Stars and Manila. “I think we need to come to terms with our newfound fetish, girls. Whatever shall we do?”

Five Stars snickered, “As if I have anything left to be ashamed of.”

Silky cleared her throat. “Right, well… Darren, you can go shower up and meet the others back in the classroom. Just, uh, leave your clothes outside of the bathroom and I’ll get them washed and dried for you. We’ll have some new, clean clothes on hand that you can change into in the meantime.”

“Good idea,” Platinum agreed. “I think Martin and Alex just finished their training a little while ago as well.”

After bidding the three mares a brief farewell, I made my way to the men’s bathroom, and could hear the telltale sounds of running water from the showers. I walked into the bathroom and chose a shower stall that wasn’t being used. The stalls were designed so that a human or pony could comfortably use them, and each stall was partitioned into two sections by a curtain. One section was for changing while the other was the actual shower itself.

As I entered the first section and closed the curtain behind me before stripping out of my clothes, I heard a voice one stall over. “Darren? Gabe? Arnold?”

“It’s Darren, Martin,” I replied over the running water. “How’d your time with Jamboree go?”

Martin laughed. “Good, but I think she’s going into heat.”

“What makes you say that?” I asked.

Alex, who was two stalls to my right, was the first to answer, “For starters, Martin claims she tackled him as soon as he walked into the bedroom, and she wouldn’t let him rest until she came five times. I think he’s lying, but she did seem a little distracted when I saw her exit the room after Candy Apple and I were done.”

“She did apologize afterwards, so don’t go talking down about her, Alex,” Martin added. “How about you, Darren?”

“Well, I had a rather interesting time. Silky was my trainer today.”

“Wait, really?” asked Alex. “What’s that all about?”

“Royal Ribbon’s on leave because of family stuff back in Canterlot I guess. Ambrosia’s in Las Pegasus for a company-related class, and Pizzelle is in Cloudsdale for some business with clients. So, yeah, I got her as my trainer for today.”

A relative silence settled over the two as I turned on the shower and let the water run over me.

“So…?”

“Yes, Martin, it was good. For someone who isn’t really in the ‘handling’ department of Gentleman for Mares, it was a nice experience.”

“Yeah. Wish it were the case with Candy Apple…” Alex noted with a weak chuckle.

“Why? Was it bad?”

“No, it was good. Very good,” he answered. “Almost too good. She wasn’t lying about being rough with me, though. I’m going to be hurting tomorrow morning…”

“Flanks of steel, huh?”

“Imagine a pillow bouncing on your lap with the ferocity of a jackhammer. That’s sort of what I was experiencing, no joke.”

“¡No manches!” Martin said, clear disbelief in his tone as he laughed. “I mean, sure, she’s an earth pony, but at the speed of a freaking jackhammer? And you’re calling me the liar here?” He laughed louder. “Oh boy, what did we get ourselves into?”

“The box spring broke in half, Martin. In half,” was the only reply Alex gave.

The sound of the bathroom door opening cut through our conversation, and another voice called out to us. “A warning to you all: thestral bites will lead to the grandmother of all hickey marks on your skin!”

That got the three of us laughing as I heard the sound of Gabe turning on the water. “I can only imagine how the oral must be.”

“Well, that is something else entirely, Darren, and I pity the man who never experiences it, but that’s just me.” Gabe went quiet for a moment, then added. “Oh god, when did she bite me there?”

“Any blood?” Martin asked.

“No, Dawnweave was careful about that…” Gabe said with a sigh. “Though explaining this to Amber is going to be interesting.”

“You don’t think she’ll be upset, do you?” I asked.

“I don’t think so, but Amber might get concerned about this becoming a regular thing. She met Dawnweave this morning, though, so I’m sure she’ll understand.”

“Huh, so you were escorted to the branch office as well this morning?” Alex asked. “Glad I wasn’t the only one.”

“Yeah, it was weird…” Gabe agreed. “I mean, I understand the whole idea of keeping us safe from possible mobs, but sometimes I think these girls treat us like we’re made of fine chinaware or something.”

“Well, it used to be even worse back in the day for stallions,” I said, earning a grunt of agreement from the others. “Remember when Luckette gave us that brief lecture on how different our worlds’ militaries used to be?”

“Yeah, and the griffins capitalized on that, didn’t they?” Alex added.

“No wonder Hemlock would stay for overtime back at Ecosystems for Equestria,” Gabe began. “The poor guy was probably tired of being fawned upon all the time. He’s married to, what… three mares?”

“It seemed like he was half-awake most of the time when he wasn’t out in the field,” I said, “Either of you heard from him lately?”

“Nope,” Alex answered.

“He sent me a text the other week on his phone asking me why his daughter keeps using the word ‘epic’ ever since his herd got internet service. I told him she’ll grow out of it in time,” Gabe replied.

In time, Arnold had finished his training and joined us in a conversation of our collective experience in dealing with Equestrian mares.

“So, Arnie, there’s one thing I’m curious about with you,” Martin began, “Alex, Darren, and Gabe all ended up in Equestria to do some work after graduating college, and I came here for a job that ended up not panning out… but what about you? How did you end up in Equestria”

Arnold hummed in thought from one of the far shower stalls. “Well, I sort of just grew curious, I guess.”

“Curious?” Gabe echoed.

“Yep. I was close to retirement when Neo Equinenox appeared in the Pacific back on Earth. My wife had died a few years before I came here, so I guess not having her around sort of made me restless.”

“Oh, um… wow,” Martin said, a bit quieter than before. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to dig up old memories like that…”

“No, it’s alright. Francine and I were married for a good twenty years, and I don’t regret any of the time I shared with her… well, except for that ankle-biter poodle we had. Damn mutt hated me until the day he died, but Francine loved him, so the dog and I had an uneasy truce of getting along enough to keep her happy.” He sighed, “Anyway, after Francine passed away, I had a good amount of money in my savings, and I have a bit of an obsession with keeping track of my stocks, so I retired and sold off my beach house and yacht. We never had any kids, so I gave my nephew my two cars and a chunk of Francine’s life insurance money. He’s got a family of his own, and was probably the only niece or nephew I had who actually visited me because he wanted to. I figured he could use all that money more than I did.”

Gabe laughed quietly, “Good lord, Arnie, you’re like the textbook definition of rich, friendly uncle that everyone wants.”

“Yeah, well, I remember being out of school without a pot to piss in. I lucked out and got a job working in a company that I ended up owning after showing the ability to manage it. The boss had no huge investors, and was close to retirement himself when he offered me the business when I started taking charge of the major managerial duties.”

“So, what, you retired and decided to visit ponyland out of the blue?” Alex asked.

“Pretty much,” he replied. “Figured I wasn’t getting any younger, and there’s no excuse to not travel to a land with talking ponies before I kick the bucket. I’ve lived in Las Pegasus, Manehattan, and even in Canterlot. They’re all nice, but I got a bit tired of the big city atmosphere after sometime. So, here I am in Hoofington.”

“And… what, you were offered a job shortly after that?”

“I needed something to keep me busy. At the same time, I had been… seeing a mare from Saddle Arabia. She was about my age, perhaps a little older. She was a widow herself, had only one colt who lived overseas. No herdmates or other family to speak of. We got to know each other, and well… a little wine and a little talking lead to a change in perspective one night, I guess.”

“Huh. Then what?”

“She suggested I apply for a job here, actually. I don’t know how she got me an application, but I figured it’d be nice to have something to do and earn a little cash on the side.” Arnold chuckled. “I think part of her was interested in seeing if I’d actually take her up on the offer more than anything.” His voice grew quiet as he added. “I never got to see how she would react though. She died a week after I had my interview. She died from a heart attack, rest her soul.”

“Shit…” Martin said quietly. “Arnold…”

“Don’t apologize,” Arnold said, and I could hear the bittersweet smile in his words. “Dune Whisper was a good mare, and she showed me that I still have a lot to look forward to in life, even after losing both her and Francine. I guess I took on the mentality of living life doing what I want on my own terms. I’m living for myself and for the two women I had in my life.”

“...Arnold, next time we go out for drinks, I’m buying your share,” Gabe said. “No arguments.”

The older man laughed. “I’m holding you to that then, Einsworth.”

At some point someone must have slipped in a change of clothes for me, because when I walked into the changing area of my stall, I found a new pair of jeans, a plain white t-shirt, and some boxer briefs. I changed and made my way out of the bathroom, heading down the hall and back to the classroom.

Alex and Martin were already there, and I took my seat next to the two. Moments passed before Gabe and Arnold joined us, followed shortly by Platinum Corona, Five Stars, and a Silky who looked refreshed and clean from a quick shower herself.

“Well, my initial reports have told me that the five of you have done well with your trainers,” Platinum began, getting right to the point without preamble. “Aside from some issues regarding soundproofing spells and bed durability, I’ve heard positive news from your trainers. Well done, Gentlemen.”

Five Stars took over where Platinum left off. “For the remainder of the day I’ll be going over some basics to remember when traveling in cities by yourself. Unfortunately, after this lecture I’ll have to leave and return to Manehattan for business. You’ll have to make do until I come back in November for a follow-up review of your performances.”

At that point, Five Stars made her way to the podium while Silky and Platinum took seats off to the side. With a smile, Five Stars began, “Now, I think it’s time I share with you boys a bit of personal experience I’ve had, starting with a typical New Year’s Eve in Las Pegasus…”

Grinning to myself, I took out the notebook I had left in the classroom earlier and prepared to take notes. If my memory served me right from the articles I had read, this particular lecture would be rather entertaining.

By the time Silky had escorted me back to my apartment and bid me farewell, it was close to the evening. The night air was the coolest it had been in months, and I could see faint wisps of my breath as I opened the entrance to the building. My shirt and pants that I had worn this morning were freshly washed, but I made a mental note to change as soon as I could, just in case Full Bloom got a whiff of Silky’s scent. Not sure if she would notice, but Equestrians had a better sense of smell than us humans, so I thought it better to not leave the matter up to chance.

As I opened the door, I was greeted to silence. Sighing to myself, I closed the door and made my way into the kitchen. A note with Full Bloom’s writing was on the table that read:

Darren,

Hope you had a good day! Wish I could say the same for myself. I got a letter from home; some family stuff has come up, so I won’t be home for a few days it seems. My mother has been fighting off a nasty illness lately, and it sounds like she’s having a bad episode right now. My sister asked if I could stop by for a few days and help her take care of my mom. It doesn’t sound like anything too serious, but my mother is known to push herself too far when ill, so I’ll have to help keep an eye on her.

Sorry, but we’ll have to postpone your revenge for my little stunt this morning until I get back. I promise I’ll make it up to you, though.

Love you,

Full Bloom

P.S. - Before I forget, Riley and Mildred stopped over after you left. Riley asked if you could give him a call later so you two can actually hang out before he and Mildred head back to Gryphon, but he did mention he may be given an extension on his leave yet. By the way, Riley said you have a bunch of movies called ‘Star Wars’ or whatever. He said I might like it, since he said that I’m ‘such a nerd’. Can you believe that?!

I really like your family so far, though, Darren. I’m glad you have such a nice brother.

I was both bummed out that Full Bloom would be gone for a few days and happy that she got along so well with Riley and Mildred.

Making a mental note to give Riley a call before the week was over, I made myself a simple meal of spaghetti and marinara and sat down while booting up my laptop and putting it on the table. I checked the news feed on the homepage of my internet browser. Nothing outside of the usual topics that have been covered for the past few weeks. More talk about the changeling found recently and the numerous conspiracy theories behind it, discussion on citizenship for humans living on Tellus and ponies living on Earth, and the latest scandal in Equestrian entertainment. I eventually stopped on a particular article titled “Las Pegasus: City of Sin, Thrills, and Diversity”.

Well, I guess it couldn’t hurt to look at. Besides, Royal Ribbon seemed to be intent on going there when she got the chance to have a weekend with me. May as well prep myself for it.

With that in mind, I settled in for the night, intent on learning everything I could about Equestria’s gem in the desert while pondering on what my unicorn trainer might have in store for me.

End of Chapter Eleven

Author's Note

Hey all, remember Denim_Blue? That guy that was writing that Gentleman for Mares story about training and such? Man, what a jerk, huh? Not updating for well over a year...

Right, well, I guess the drought is finally over. More or less, anyway. I've had this chapter on the back-burner for some time, but I'm comfortable with releasing it now. Helps that there's no importing Gdocs over anymore. Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I prefer the simple copy+paste method. It just works for me.

Anyway, this is long overdue, yes, but it's here. Thanks goes to the ~~shameless~~ wonderful group of pre-readers I have, of course. AJ Aficionado, Firesight, Silentwoodfire, and TheTownCrier. These guys provide both entertaining comments and helpful feedback, sometimes more of the former than the latter, but I'm guilty of that as well, so who am I to judge? Right?

Hard to believe it took me this long to get back into writing, but I suppose I'm still doing it, so that counts! I don't really keep a tentative plan for what gets updated, but I have another chapter or two on hold for this after I give them a little more polish. I'll probably release two chapters for the next update I have for this story, in fact.

In the meantime, I sincerely hope this proved to be enjoyable. I don't blame anyone who may need time to refresh themselves with this piece, though, so I understand. While you're at it, if you want some more scintillating tales, why not check out some of AJ Aficionado's work? I pre-read for him, and he's currently got a nice story with both sensuality as well as action and fantasy blended into it. If you just want good ol' fashion action, though, Firesight's working on the second part of a three-part war story going on. The first story is already done, so now's a good as time as any to get acquainted with his work (plus he writes clop if you're into that stuff, I guess).

That's all for now. Thanks to readers, new and old. I know it's been a while, but any feedback is appreciated. Until we meet again, keep it real, folks!

Experience Not Necessary

A Gentleman in Training

by Denim_Blue

Chapter Two: Experience Not Necessary

After failing to fall asleep early I had decided to hit the streets and drown my sorrows in the nightlife of Hoofington. An interesting thing about Hoofington is the sheer amount of bars you can find there. Even before human influence started making its way into the world of Equestria, Hoofington had been known as a town full of bars. There was a private university about a mile outside of town, and young mares and stallions frequented the numerous hangouts every weekend they could. Aside from that, there was the local train station, which had more or less been the reason that Hoofington came into existence at all, a fairly large shopping district, and a river that ran south of Whitetail Woods and southwest, just north of Las Pegasus.

Decades ago Hoofington had a decent lumber industry going on, but those days were long past, now that the town was more developed and more ponies were environmentally conscious these days. Which was saying something, since the town also had a booming mining industry and steel production scene going on. The river that ran through the middle of town served as a sort of natural boundary between the industrial parks and the quieter, more residential part of town.

All in all, it was about as average as an Equestrian town can get without being small enough to be considered ‘small’ and not large enough to be a considered a major city. And it was chalk-full of patrons who would happily wash away the stress of a hard day’s work at a bar.

Unlike Ponyville, which I had visited twice in my time living in Equestria, not everyone knew each other in Hoofington. It came damn near close to that, though. If you knew a bartender, you probably also knew the local pizza parlor owner across the street who kept his place open later on weekends, banking on the drunken clients who would have a sudden craving for something to eat. If you knew the barber near town hall, chances are you probably knew at least one of the local constables who visited the barber shop once a week to have his or her mane trimmed. In turn, if you happened to be a pony who enjoyed coffee or a similar caffeinated beverage, then you likely knew or at least had seen that one human male—me, in this case—who always bought those human world newspapers and quietly sighed, chuckled, and shook his head while reading over the political articles while enjoying a coffee or something similar.

What I’m more or less trying to say here is this: In the two years and some odd change that had passed since I moved to ponyland, I had come to see this little-big town-city as a home away from home. I found my little niche in the place, and I had become quite happy with it.

When I walked into the Drunken Jenny tavern—run by a respectable donkey mare, so no one had a right to call the name offensive—I was hardly fazed when at least several of the ponies looked to the entrance and gave loud, and in many cases slurred, greetings.

“Darren! Heeeey, you’re two hours late!” called a rather tipsy mare, who barely managed to hold onto her seat. She turned to Bedelia, the bartender and establishment’s owner, and said, “Get Darren one on the rocks. That… that good stuff that he likes or whatever. Jack… something… and put in on my tab.”

I gave the mare a half-hearted smile and waved to Bedelia. “That’s alright, Tulip. I can afford a drink or two tonight.”

Tulip looked like she was going to argue, but instead settled for a pout. “You never let me buy you a drink.”

I rolled my eyes as Bedelia handed me a tumbler filled with amber fluid, already knowing what I was going to order. “That’s because I know you’ll hold it over my head later and ask me to buy you something,” I replied with a smirk as she continued to pout. I placed the bits down on the counter and turned to Bedelia. “Hey, Bedee. See Gabe or Alex anywhere?”

The donkey mare let out a sigh. “You bet I have. Alex just paid off his bar tab that he built up over the past two months. He looked like he had already had a few drinks, but Gabe was with him, so I’m sure he’s alright.”

“He paid off his tab?” I frowned. “That’s…” I blinked, and shook my head. Alex never paid his bar tabs after only two months. “Did you see where they went?”

Bedelia nodded towards the door. “Gabe told me to tell you that you could probably find them at either the Salty Swill or Two-Trots. Or… if not at those places, Flanky’s.”

I raised an eyebrow at the last one. “I’m sorry, did you say Flanky’s?”

She chuckled and nodded as she began polishing a glass with a rag. “I said the same thing when he told me, too.”

I cursed under my breath and slammed down the drink. I shook my head once and coughed a few times. “Damn it, Alex… thanks, Bedee. Sorry to leave so soon.”

“Aww, you’re alre’y leaving?” Tulip whined. “Whyyy?” She let out a loud hiccup as she stared at me with half-glazed eyes.

“I have to save a friend who’s trying to save a friend who may or may not try and do stupid things tonight. Wish me luck.”

I was out the door and jogging down the streets within seconds. I turned left, and nearly bowled over two young mares as I rounded a street corner. Shouting out a quick apology, I crossed a street and stopped before a brick building with flickering, magic-powered lights that flashed the words Flanky’s for all to see.

Ignoring the sparkly pink lights for the moment, I made my way to the doors, only to be stopped by a large earth pony stallion. He held out a hoof and frowned. “ID?”

I frowned. “Burly, you were at my birthday party over at the Salty Swill not too long ago. Do you really—?”

He shook his head. “Sorry, I’m just doing my job.”

I grumbled and fished out my driver’s license, a valid form of ID that Equestria had taken to using, though it wasn’t too popular compared to a passport or some other forms that humans used. Burly looked it over for all of two seconds before giving it back to me. “They’re inside. Try to keep them out of trouble.”

I groaned as I made my way through the door. “No promises,” I replied before entering the building’s interior. The flashing of dim lights and the low thumping of bass just beyond a set of double doors at the far end of the hall could be seen and heard. The hall I was currently walking through was dimly lit by soft red lamps along the walls of the corridor. There were a few cushioned benches along either side, most of them occupied by ponies. I spotted a single woman chatting with a stallion, but other than that, I was the only other human in the hall. That could only mean I’d have to venture further in.

Here goes nothing…

I pushed past the second pair of double doors and was greeted by the smell of liquor, perfume, and a variety of other smells that hit me like a brick wall. I even picked up the smell of what I swore was chocolate chip cookies.

I tried not to think about that too much.

On one side of the large room was a bar where three bartenders, a human male, a pegasus mare, and one female griffin, who were busy with their customers. On the far end of the room was a large stage. Lights flashed on a single mare as she performed some rather amazing maneuvers on the pole in the middle of the stage. A group of ponies and humans of both sexes watched with varying degrees of interest, some waving coin purses while others cheered her on.

I glanced to the left and right parts of the room where several smaller stages stood against the walls. A few of them were occupied by dancers. I stopped looking when I spotted two guys about my age watching a young unicorn mare dance. Said unicorn mare had a fur coat the color of cotton candy and a silver-white mane and tail that with curled ends. She also wore dark, silky clothing that was probably a step above lingerie, if I were to guess. Though, given the place's atmosphere, she looked aptly dressed.

“Damn it, Alex…” I sighed, making my way over to the two. I took a seat beside the two, and spoke over the thrumming bass. “Okay, this not the first place I expected to find you two.”

The guy furthest from me gave me a quick glance. Gabe was his name, and he was one of my good friends that I’d known for several years now. He had short, wavy, dirty blond hair and not a speck of facial hair on him. His sharp, hazel eyes and lopsided grin were among the trademarks that had won and broken the heart of many a girl back in college. To top it off, he was a fairly lean guy, but not to the point of appearing lanky. He was, as my friend Mel once put it, ‘a guy that knows he’s sexy, and does everything in his power to make sure everyone else knows it as well’.

Gabe chuckled while giving a small shrug. “Not my idea to come here, Darren.” He pointed to the man sitting between us before continuing. “Alex here decided to drown himself in alcohol and good times tonight. I wasn’t against the idea, considering what happened at work.” He adjusted the zipper on his sweater jacket so that it opened up more, and nodded to the unicorn on the stage. “Miss Sugar Sweet’s company was just the icing on the cake. I think her presence alone has brought up the temperature in the room.” He tugged at his collar a bit while running a hand through his hair.

“Oh, stop it,” The unicorn giggled as Gabe winked at her. She returned the gesture in kind and spun around the pole once before continuing. “Is there a girl waiting at home for you, handsome?”

The guy sitting between us barked out a laugh. “Sorry, Sugar Sweet. Gabe here’s already taken by someone else.”

Now, unlike Gabe, Alex was a rather built guy. He was born in raised in a rural community, and years of helping his uncle on his dairy farm had paid off. He had broad shoulders, strong arms, chiseled features, and stood taller than the both Gabe and I did. Dark brown eyes and darker brown hair were complemented by a trimmed goatee.

Alex scratched his stubble a bit and frowned. “Gabe, what’dya say her name is again?”

“Her name is Amber, and I’ve been with her for almost a year now,” Gabe replied with a sigh. “By the way, Alex, you’ve asked me that question three times in the past hour. I think you’ve had enough for now.”

In response, Alex threw back another one of the shots set before him. “I’m fine.” The slight sway in his posture said otherwise. “Most Equestrian liquor’s weak compared to the stuff back home. You know that.”

“Yet somehow you still manage to find yourself passed out on my futon nine nights out of ten when we go bar hopping in Hoofington,” I grumbled. “So… why are you two here of all places?”

Alex shrugged “I figured I’d like’ta see what the place is like.”

Sugar Sweet, if I remember the mare’s name correctly, stopped her little dance around the pole and leaned down close to me. “I don’t think I’ve seen you before.” She looked me up and down once and gave me a half-lidded smile. “Are you new to Hoofington?”

I shook my head and gave her a small smile. “Nope. I’ve been living here in Hoofington for the better part of two years now.”

“Oh, really?” She leaned in closer. “Strange. I usually know all the cute humans in town.”

I got a brief glimpse of her cutie mark as she leaned in. I could make out what looked to be a cookie and a chocolate bar. I looked back to her and smiled. “You got a talent in sweets, I take it?”

She blinked, a bit surprised by the change of topic, I imagine. Her smile quickly returned, more friendly and less flirtatious this time. “I do, actually. I work as a chocolatier at my grandmother’s shop. Working here is just a job I do on the side to help ends meet.”

“Huh, no kidding?” I asked with a grin.

“Yep,” She replied as she settled down into a comfortable sitting position before me. “My grandmother’s shop is where I spend most of my work-week. We do presorted or custom orders depending on your preference. Our bestsellers right now are the mint chocolate truffle and the chocolate caramel creme. It’s pretty hard work, though. You have to get up early, and it can be a real hard trying to make the same kind of chocolate without having them taste different at the same time. Still, homemade sweets are always better.”

“Hear, hear,” agreed Gabe while raising a tumbler of amber liquid.

“What about you boys? What’s your story?” Sugar Sweet asked, her smile dropping a bit. “Not to pry, but you two,” she pointed to Gabe and Alex with a hoof, “didn’t seem too happy earlier when you arrived.”

“Well, for starters, Equestria’s apparently tired of humans in the workforce. The place we worked for let a few employees go. All of ‘em were human,” Alex said with a slight slur to his word. “Ecosystems for Equestria’sh kicked out four of its best workers without sheddin’ a tear.”

“Oh stop it, Alex. Professor Wild Call was torn up over the whole thing, and you know it,” Gabe gave Sugar Sweet an apologetic smile. “We all did some research relating to the Everfree Forest for a government funded company. Sadly, the three of us and a friend of ours were let go from our jobs today. Alex is taking it a bit harder than most of us...”

“Well,” Alex’s jovial tone soured a bit as he spoke. “I’d say gettin’ a voicemail from my girlfriend saying she’s breakin’ up with me because cross-dimensional relationships can’t work isn’t a great way to start the day,” mumbled Alex. “Losing my job just made this day worse.”

“Jenna broke up with you?” I asked. “Oh… shit, I’m sorry, Alex.”

“Eh, don’t be.” He waved a hand dismissively. “It was bound to happen. I was doing most of the work in keepin’ in touch with her, anyway. She nev’r returned most of my calls… I think she may have been seeing someone else… probably Marco.”

I frowned. “Marco… you mean your friend from high school? Damn…”

“I… can’t really be angry at Jenna, though.” He hiccuped softly and raised a glass. “To heartache and unemployment: two excuses to drown in alcohol.” He took a drink and set it down loudly. “Worst thing I ever toasted to…”

The three of us paused when Sugar Sweet extended a hoof, touching Alex’s arm gently. Her eyes were filled with the kind of sympathy that only a miniature, pastel-colored pony could convey. “I’m so sorry to hear about that. It… it must hurt.”

“I’ll get over it,” Alex said, his tone clearly saying otherwise.

Sugar surprised us further by leaning forward and wrapping her forehooves around Alex. He sat there for a moment, wide eyed. Slowly, he snapped out of his trance and wrapped his arms around the pony. They stayed like that for only a few seconds, but it was long enough for Alex to relax a bit and let out a long sigh. When she pulled away, she had a smile on her face. “If you ask me, I think she made a big mistake by breaking up with you.”

Alex flushed a bit. Now, Alex was never known to be the most openly emotional guy out of our group. He was typically the calm and collected one, mostly out of necessity. The voice of reason that was there to counter Gabe’s shenanigans if I wasn’t available to do so. That wasn’t to say Alex was emotionless, though, far from it. He just kept a tight lid on voicing those feelings; part of his upbringing, mostly. Whining and complaining about every little thing didn’t get stuff done on his uncle’s farm, nor did it make the soil samples that needed to be collected take care of themselves.

Regardless, the point of the matter was that Sugar Sweet must have hit a sensitive spot with him. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out how she did, but it had happened. Blame it on pony magic, I suppose.

“T-thanks,” Alex stammered. “I’m usually not…” He gestured to himself and the numerous empty glasses, “...not like this…

“Key word being usually,” Gabe chimed in.

“I get done in an hour,” she said, her old smile returning once more. “I know a great place that serves pizza down the road late at night. Want to grab a bite?” Her smile fell a bit. “I… don’t think they serve any meat, but it’s still really good!”

If possible, Alex seemed to have sobered up as she said those words. He looked to Gabe, then he looked to me. I shrugged, and Gabe, unsurprisingly, nodded approvingly. Alex then looked back to the unicorn. “I… okay…”

“Great!” Sugar Sweet clopped her hooves together excitedly. “Oh, wait right here, I have a few friends who’d love to meet you guys! One of my friends is a bit of a fan of the Everfree Forest’s wildlife! You said you guys studied that, right?”

“That was mostly Darren’s field,” Gabe answered, thumbing to me. “Alex is more in the soils and lab work. I mostly handled PR stuff for the company.”

“Oh, well, either way, I know they’d like to meet you guys!” With that, the unicorn mare hopped off her little dance platform and trotted off to another corner of the building.

“Huh. Well, that just happened,” Alex said in amusement. “Didn’t see that coming.”

“You show up to an Equestrian erotic dance club and you’re surprised?” Gabe asked our inebriated friend. “Come on, I could understand if we were back in the states, but… this is Equestria.”

“What’s your point?” I asked. Alex gave Gabe a look that voiced a similar thought to my question.

“My point,” Gabe continued. “Is that mares are a lot more…” He paused, clearly thinking his words through. “Well, they’re more forward about things, and typically they aren’t shy when it comes to letting a guy they find attractive know they’re interested. I think it’s a cultural thing with them. It’s less like the typical dancing around that humans often do when they first show interest in each other. Turns out that Alex here took the cake for Sugar Sweet.” Then, as an after thought, added. “That or she’s taking advantage of you and your current emotional state.”

“Works for me,” Alex sighed. “She seems cute enough.”

“Whoa, whoa, hold on.” I grabbed Alex by the shoulder. “Just how much have you had tonight?” He opened his mouth to answer, but I shook my head. “Nevermind, forget it. More importantly: you’re okay with a mare possibly trying to get you to sleep with her for a night?” I squeezed his shoulder a bit, then added. “You do realize that, right? You’re not that drunk, are you?”

“I guess?” Alex scratched his stubbly chin. “I mean, I’m not that drunk, Darren. I’ve never had anything against pony-human relationships. I just never found myself in a situation where I considered them… until now.”

Well, that settled that. “Okay, just making sure. I just don’t want a phone call at seven in the morning tomorrow from you saying you’re in a mare’s bedroom and you can’t find your wallet.”

Gabe took a drink, then hummed in agreement. “Well, she’s probably interested in an actual relationship, judging from her concern for you, Alex.” Gabe took another sip, then said. “Oh, and the popular term is ‘tuck in’, actually.”

“What?” I asked, looking to Gabe once more.

“‘Tuck in’… Equestrians prefer that terminology to ‘sleeping with’ or ‘screwing’,” Gabe clarified. “It’s kind of adorable… well, funny, but still adorable in a weird, slightly dirty, lewd sort of way. A lot more acceptable in polite company, too.”

I quirked an eyebrow. “Since when did you become an expert on this stuff?”

“Well, I imagine since I started dating an earth pony,” Gabe replied casually. “So… about a year ago, I believe?”

Alex coughed up his drink while I blinked dubiously as my eyebrows slowly arched upward in surprise. I shook my head and shot Alex a confused look and he just shook his head. I returned my attention to Gabe and asked, “Come again?”

“What? I’ve been dating Amber for almost a year now, weren’t you listening?” Gabe looked to the two of us and frowned. “Didn’t I tell you guys that she was a pony?”

“No, you didn’t,” I answered, picking up the last of the shots and slamming it down. I pinched the bridge of my nose, then let out a sigh and continued. “All you told us was that she’s been living in Ponyville for three years, and that she a caretaker for the local park over there. Never anything about her being of a completely different species.” I sighed as Gabe’s expression grew worried. “It’s not a huge deal, I guess, just… surprising.” I waved a hand. “Honestly, I can’t blame you for being interested: cute, alien ponies that can fly, carry twice my weight, and use magic? It’s got to be at least a little appealing. I just wish you would have told us that little fact about you dating a mare sooner.”

“Oh, well… surprise?” He laughed. “Sorry, I must have forgot about that. I guess that explains why you two were so chill about it. Though, you think with a name like Amber you’d ask more about her.”

“Amber can also pass as a woman’s name. Now, a name like Amber Glimmer or Amber Dazzle would sound more like a pony name to me, ” I sighed. “I guess today’s just full of surprises.” I shook my head slowly. “Could it get any more interesting?”

I would later question whether the asking of rhetorical questions triggered some kind of mysterious force in Equestria. I mean, they had magic here, who’s to say there wasn’t some mischievous entity that was dead-set on making my day nothing more than a punchline to some joke only they found funny?

To answer my question from earlier, though, my night did get more interesting. I had found myself seated between two pegasi mares in a local pizza parlor while Gabe chatted amicably with a unicorn mare. Alex and Sugar Sweet were… well, I wasn’t sure, but they had gotten a lot friendlier since we left the club. They were speaking in hushed tones, and every so often Sugar Sweet would erupt into a fit of giggles while Alex just chuckled softly.

I, on the other hand?

“So, I heard they might have figured out how a cockatrice petrifies its prey. You know anything about that?”

I did not, in fact, have any true knowledge about that topic. A different mare at work was currently involved on that project. I was, however, aware that it had something to do with primitive magic related to eye contact.

“Nope, but I know they’re doing research into magic that can counter the petrification spell. From what I was told, primitive magic can be wild and hard to rein in.” I shrugged. “I never really specialized in any particular animal or plant. I was more involved in the studies about the environment and ecosystem as a whole.”

“He’s being humble,” Gabe cut in. “This guy helped discover three new species of plant life, a new species of venomous snake, and he managed to verify that being bitten by a vampiric jackalope is not fatal to humans. Just painful as hell.”

The pegasi to my left gasped softly as she brushed her mane away from her face. Her sapphire eyes widened in shock. “You were bitten by a vampiric jackalope?”

“In his defense, it was dark and looked like a normal rabbit,” Gabe added. “It was cute up until it hissed and leaped at him.”

“Bastard almost got me in the neck,” I shuddered. “Had nightmares of that damn thing for a week.”

Alex let out a bark of laughter. “You were so bummed when you were told that the species was already named.”

I shrugged. “The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog would have been a great name.”

“Barring possible copyright issues, I would have done the same,” Gabe laughed.

“Um…Caerba...where…?” the pegasi to my right asked.

I shook my head. “Sorry, it’s from Monty Python and— erm… well…” I watched the mare as her expression became more confused. “I-it’s a human thing. A joke from an old comedy movie.”

“Ohhhhh,” the mare replied. “I actually got to see one of your human movies once.”

“Really?” I asked, my interest piqued. “Which one?” It wasn’t unheard of for Equestria to show some of the more popular movies from Earth. Not too common, but occasionally a cinema in town would have a noteworthy movie showing from Earth. Hoofington was one the cities that had such cinemas.

“Um…” She tapped a hoof to her chin. “Oh! It was called The Lion King.”

“Oh my gosh, I saw that movie, too!” gushed the mare to my left. “It was so sad when that little lion cub’s dad died…”

“Well, at least they’re showing good stuff from Earth,” I remarked with a smile. “I’m ashamed to admit I haven’t seen many of Equestria’s films.”

“You should!” the mare to my right said with a smile. She brushed a lock of her blonde mane from her face once more. “I know a lot of good movies! Maybe sometime I could take you to the theater and we could—”

“Ugh, Silky, you’re idea of a good movie is anything with sappy romance and a hot stallion in it.” The mare to my left said with a groan. I turned to the other mare and she met my gaze. “Don’t listen to Silky. She thought the movie adaptation of Daring Do and the Rose of the Dunes was good.”

“It was, and you know it, Blossomforth!” Silky sniffed. “I swear, ever since you moved to Ponyville it’s like you lost all sense of good cinema.”

Blossomforth, as she was apparently called, rolled her eyes. “Silky, please, not now…”

“What?” asked the unicorn beside Gabe. “You have changed, Blossomforth. I heard you even considered trying out for the Wonderbolt Academy not too long ago.”

“Okay, look, that was a bad idea. Cloudchaser did end up getting into the academy, so it wasn’t a total waste of time for us girls. That, and after humans started coming to Equestria, we met a few at the Academy that really like flying… in more than a few ways…” Blossomforth said, her words fading a bit at the end.

Silky giggled a bit, and leaned forward to pat her on the hoof gently. “Sorry, Blossomforth. You know I only tease because I care.”

“The Wonderbolt Academy?” I asked. Blossomforth simply nodded. “I saw a show of theirs once in Fillydelphia. They kind of remind me of the Blue Angels.” This time both Silky and Blossomforth gave me perplexed looks. “Oh, uh… they’re a U.S. Navy fighter jet demonstration team. They do lots of stunts and acrobatics. Lots of fun to watch. Same with the Thunderbirds, they’re pretty awesome.” Another curious look from the duo. “They’re with the United States Air Force. Different area of the military, both have fighter jets.”

“Fighter jets… you mean those airplanes that are really fast, right?” Silky asked.

“Loud, fast, and built for combat,” Gabe replied. “But yeah, you’re more or less right. In fact, the Blue Angels have blue and gold colors on their jets, just like the colors that the Wonderbolts have.”

“Makes you wonder,” I chuckled.

“Oh my gosh, I know what you mean! It’s crazy!” Silky agreed. “I was reading about this one city in the United States of America, New York City, I think, that has a statue just like the one on the coast of Manehattan!” She sat forward as her wings unfurled. “I saw a picture of it once! Oh, then there’s the Niagara Falls and our Neighagra Falls!”

I withheld telling her about the fact that the Statue of Liberty was near the similarly named borough of Manhattan back on Earth. No sense in going too deep down that rabbit hole right now.

Alex let out a low chuckle as he spoke up. “All the popular science channels on television back home had a sudden flood of ‘Alien Visitors’ shows after Neo Equinenox appeared. Something about aliens visiting both our worlds in the distant past and teaching us stuff that we know today.”

The night continued more or less in that fashion as I got to learn more about the mares we shared our late night pizza with. Blossomforth was apparently from Cloudsdale, but had moved to Ponyville some years ago. She worked part-time as a weather pony while teaching yoga.

Silky was originally from Cloudsdale as well, but had moved to Hoofington a year ago because of work. The two were close friends from their days as fillies. When asked about her line of work, she simply said she was in a public relations department for a relatively new company originally based in Manehattan.

The unicorn mare across from me that was sitting beside Gabe was Lemon Hearts. She was a native from Canterlot, and she had become friends with Blossomforth after she started taking her yoga classes while visiting Ponyville a few times to see some friends of hers that lived there. She was actually Sugar Sweet’s cousin, and they had all come to Hoofington for some sort of annual get-together of sorts.

I was surprised to see how late it was when I finally glanced at my watch: one o’clock in the morning. “Damn, it’s that late already?” I stretched and sighed as my back cracked. “I haven’t stayed out this late in ages.”

“I have no regrets,” Gabe said with a chuckle. “I mean, how many people can say they’ve traveled through a wormhole made by a pony princess that leads to a land with these four charming mares and had drinks with them?” He looked to the mares, who shared a giggle as he winked at them.

“I remember when the portal opened. I was reading a newspaper that was talking about these animals calling themselves ‘Hew-mons’ a few years back,” Silky chuckled. “I laughed when I saw what you all look like in the photos.”

I gave a nod of agreement. “Yeah, I’m sure nearly-hairless primates that talk and wear clothing all the time was an odd sight for most Equestrians as well.”

“Well, we don’t always wear clothing…” Gabe began. “Like that one time in Madison when you—”

“We agreed that never happened, Gabe,” I cut him off.

“No, no, I recall you saying, and I quote, ‘If either of you tells anyone at work about what happened I’ll douse your pillows with poison ivy oil while you’re sleeping.’” Gabe smirked. “You never said anything about Alex or I telling anyone outside of work about it.”

“Right, I’m off,” I said with a huff, getting up from my spot.

“Oh, come on, Darren, I’m only pulling your leg,” Gabe laughed. “Come on, stay around for a while longer.”

I looked to Gabe, then to the four mares who had similar, puppy-eyed looks on their faces. Alex, meanwhile, was just shaking his head and muttering ‘Madison’, ‘peppermint schnapps’, and ‘going natural’ to himself.

“Alright, alright,” I said, caving in to the pleading looks of the mares. “I’ll just go get another drink…” I made my way to the bar, and sat down. I suddenly found myself wanting to be alone for a little while, and figured I could use this as an excuse.

I still had my current jobless situation fresh in my mind despite the friendly atmosphere that I had been surrounded in moments ago. What was I going to do? I had money saved up, sure, but not nearly enough to live for more than a few months in my apartment. I could live cheap, but the hard thing about living in Equestria was groceries. Sure, I could make vegetarian meals, and I could live on eggs and other proteins without any problems. I wouldn’t want to after awhile, though. Sue me if you want, but I like meat just as much as I like the rest of the food groups. Equestria had delis and sold meat products to their griffin clients, but the demand wasn’t as great. As such, prices were a bit higher than they were back on Earth.

Not only would groceries become an issue, but I’d have to look into job-hunting sooner or later if I planned on staying around. If I wanted to stick around here for the long haul, I’d have to look into becoming more than just a temporary resident in Hoofington, and apply for citizenship in Equestria. I didn’t even know if that was an actual option yet for humans. The topic was still in talks back on Earth for Tellurians visiting the human homeworld.

“What can I get for you?” asked a bartender, a young earth pony stallion, probably around my age.

“I’d like an Old fashioned. Sweet with brandy and olives.”

The stallion raised an eyebrow. “Um… is that a human drink?”

I let out a quiet groan. “Y-yeah, it is.” He looked at me expectantly, and I sighed. “Just give me a whiskey and cola instead if—”

“Hold on, it’s not that hard,” spoke up a voice. I looked to my side to see Silky take a seat next to me. “Pimento, come on, you need to start learning these drinks sooner or later.”

The stallion frowned, “Fine, Silky, if you’re so familiar with human drinks, feel free to enlighten me.”

She grinned, then looked to me. “You said sweet, right?”

“With olives,” I added with a nod.

“Olives in a brandy Old Fashioned Sweet?” Silky asked, making a face. I nodded in reply. She shrugged and got down from her stool. “Suit yourself! One brandy Old Fashioned Sweet with olives, coming right up!”

No more than a minute passed before she set the drink down before me then placed three olives on a toothpick and set in the glass. I blinked, impressed by her knowledge on how to make the drink, let alone how to make it so quickly. I lifted up the glass and took a sip. I let the flavor settle on my palate for a few moments, then said softly. “Wow…”

“I bartended for a few years when I was younger,” Silky said as she hopped back over the bar with a flutter of her wings. “I still dabble with the occasional recipe, especially the ones from the human world. Unlike some ponies,” She looked to Pimento as she finished her thought.

Pimento rolled his eyes, but nodded and turned to me. “I’ll have to keep that one in mind. An Old fashioned, you call it?”

“Yep. Typically you use garnishes like olives, pickled vegetables, or mushrooms in an Old Fashioned sour recipe, not a sweet one. Cherries and pineapples are pretty common for sweet recipes. I’m weird that way, though.” I looked to Silky, who was now enjoying a bottle of cider. “I’m surprised you weren’t bothered by me using brandy instead of whiskey. Substituting whiskey with brandy is a bit of a local thing where I’m from.”

“Pfft,” Silky said with a wave of her hoof. “I prefer the whiskey version myself, but I can appreciate brandy.”

“Huh…” I replied as I took another sip. “You said you work in public relations?”

“Yep,” Silky said with a nod. “It’s been my job for almost two years now. Really great place, lots of opportunities to meet new ponies and people.”

“No kidding,” I said with a smile. “I’m guessing working with humans is a big part of it then, huh?”

Silky laughed, as though I had just told her a great joke. When she settled down she gave a nod. “Yes, yes… you could say that. Humans definitely are a major driving force behind the business.”

“What’s the business called?” I asked. “Are they hiring?”

Silky looked up from her cider, ear twitching a bit. She studied me for a moment, then asked in a relatively serious tone. “If… they were, would you be interested?”

Maybe it was the alcohol from tonight, or maybe it was the fact that I was more desperate for a job than I realized, but I nodded. “I’m not really in a position to not take what I can get. How does the job pay, if you don’t mind me asking.”

“Well, that depends. The… services we provide can vary quite a bit, as do the rates. As you become more experienced, you’ll likely find yourself sitting better, financially speaking.” She grinned, her expression softening a bit as she did. “Honestly, just from a first glance, I think you’d be a great candidate for our company.”

“Oh really?” I asked. “In what, public relations?”

“Sort of in that area,” she replied with a smile. I waited for her to elaborate, but she didn’t.

“Any possible openings for Gabe or Alex?” I asked.

“Oh, I was already going to consider asking Gabe and Alex,” Silky answered with a laugh. “Sugar Sweet had suggested the idea, actually.”

“Not so much the case with me, huh?” I laughed.

Silky smiled. “You’re… different, Darren.” She raised a hoof as I my smile dropped. “Not in a bad way, but… there’s something about you that I can’t put my hoof on.” She studied me for a moment before adding. “Darren, do mind if I ask you a personal question?”

“Um… I might answer it, but go ahead,” I replied with a shrug.

“Gabe mentioned that he’s dating a mare…”

I nodded. “Yeah, her name is Amber. I thought she was a human for the longest time, since it’s not too uncommon of a name for a woman to have. In my defense, he never introduced us to her, and he never elaborated on her being a pony.”

“Right,” Silky said in understanding. “What are your thoughts about that?”

“What, humans and ponies dating?”

“Well, yes. To be specific, being intimate with each other. Does… that bother you at all?” Silky asked. It might have been me, but her tone had softened as she spoke that last part.

“Honestly? No. I mean, humans and Equestrians… well, not just Equestrians, but also griffons, diamond dogs, minotaurs, zebras… Tellurians, I guess you could say… they’re intelligent, free-thinking individuals. Who am I to judge who they love or want to be with, you know?” I took another drink as I continued. “We’re all abstract thinkers and can judge things for ourselves. Still we also should respect each other’s views and ideals.” I waved a hand. “Some say humans that we are the most advanced species back on Earth, but that’s a load of crock if you ask me. We can’t breathe underwater, we can’t see ultraviolet light, or use sonar without special equipment, or willingly allow our bodies freeze to avoid dying in the winter. We’re the most intelligent, or at least the most adaptable, and we’re clearly the dominant species of Earth, but…” I cleared my throat as her smile became one of amusement. “S-sorry, I tend to ramble like that when I’ve had a few.”

She waved a hoof. “No need to apologize. As for what you said about humans, that is probably true. Still, humans can create and work together in ways that other creatures can’t,” Silky countered. “Humans also have philosophy, mathematics, and the sciences. They aren’t satisfied with knowing that something is what it is: they need to know why, and how.”

I stared at Silky for awhile, feeling a smile forming on my lips. “You’ve got quite an understanding about us.”

“Well, if you look past the fur, manes, and walking on four legs, we’re not so different from humans,” she said with a smile.

“Fair point,” I said with a nod, taking another quick sip. “So… do I still qualify for the job?”

“You don’t even know what the business is,” Silky chuckled. “I think you’ve had more than your fill of drinks tonight.”

“Maybe,” I agreed. “I am serious about applying for the job, though. It obviously involves public relations between human and ponies. I’ve been working alongside ponies for awhile, now. I’m sure I can do this, no problem.” After a moment, I asked. “Does it require a degree in anything?”

Silky turned to her cider bottle, “No… just you being yourself. No degree…” She licked her lips, then looked back to me. Her eyes were gentle, but also concerned. “Still interested?”

“I’m willing to give it a try.”

“I’ll be honest, Darren: that kind of attitude is what we need right now. Equestria, I mean… that’s what Equestria needs right now.” She stared at the counter. It was like she was torn on what to do. “Tell you what, take this,” She produced a card from seemingly out of nowhere.

I read it over. It had an address that was somewhere in the eastern part of town across the river. I flipped it over, and all it had was her name, hoofwritten, with a quote underneath it.

“An open mind and an open heart are the keys to a happy life.”

“Stop by this address tomorrow at your earliest convenience. Feel free to bring Gabe and Alex along as well. If you’re still interested afterwards, then we’ll look into getting you a job with us.”

I tucked the card into a pocket, and grinned. “I’ll let the others know. Thanks.”

Silky’s smile remained on her face, but it was subdued now. “You can thank me when you get the job,” she said with a wink.

With that, Silky hopped down from her stool, and made her way back to the group. I watched her go, my eyes wandering towards her tail. She paused for a moment, and looked back to me. Her wings shifted a bit, and I couldn’t help but blush as she gave me a knowing smile. Thankfully, she spared me further torment by turning around and continuing towards the table where the others were still sitting.

I sighed, and stared at my glass. What just happened there? Was I ogling her backside? If I were to be honest with myself, then yes, I was.

I glanced down at my drink, and shook my head. She didn’t seem to be particularly upset about that, but then again, Gabe had said that Equestrian mares were rather forward about their intentions…

I downed the last of my drink and sighed.

I put the thought out of my mind for now. Instead, I plopped one of the olives into my mouth and pulled out the business card she had given me out of my pocket and studied it. It was simple, and bore nothing that really gave away what the company dealt with. Although, I did notice three bold letters above the address that I hadn’t seen the first time I glanced at the business card.

G4M

“Well, I guess I’ll find out more tomorrow,” I said to myself.

After laying down the bits to pay for the drink, I made my way back to the table, in much higher spirits than before. It looked like things would be turning out alright for me after all.

Hopefully.

“So,” Alex began. “She just… gave you a business card last night and said to ‘stop by’? Yeesh, I wish job interviews were that easy to get back home.”

“I know, it sounds too good to be true. Still, it happened, just like that,” I replied.

Currently, Gabe, Alex, and I were in the midst of making our way down the main drag of Hoofington. The large Steelheart Bridge crossing the Saddle River was ahead of us, there were only a few puffs of clouds in the sky, and the mid-morning sun was shining brightly overhead. It was a perfect start to a day that would hopefully provide me with a fresh start in Equestria.

“Hm, looks like this place is located just outside of the industry district,” Gabe commented as he studied the address on business card Silky had given me. “Lots of newer companies are opening up offices in that area… stuff like that.” He handed me back the business card, then turned to Alex, a large grin forming on his lips. “Oh yeah, Alex, you haven’t told us what happened after you and Sugar Sweet decided to leave early last night.”

I rolled my eyes and shook my head, holding back a chuckle while Alex mumbled something under his breath. Gabe, being the wonderful friend that he is, pressed the issue further.

“Hm? I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you over the peace and quiet of western Hoofington. Could you speak up?”

“We exchanged addresses and she said she wants to get together with me this weekend,” Alex said, trying to keep his tone neutral. “Just leave it be, Gabe.”

“Whoa, hey, easy. I’m happy for you, Alex, that’s great!” Gabe raised his hands in surrender. “She seems like a really nice mare.”

Alex grunted out a reply, his scowl lessening noticeably, “Yeah, she does. She’s pretty cool, actually.”

We turned down a road that ended with a cul-de-sac of sorts, a few small businesses lining both sides of the road. We stopped and scanned the addresses, only to pause as we came upon our destination at the far end of the cul-de-sac. A quaint, white sign with blue lettering stood in the front of the property, catching our attention immediately.

Gentleman for Mares - Hoofington Branch

Gabe was the first to break the silence. He let out a soft chuckle, which slowly grew into a full-on belly laugh.

“What?” I asked Gabe. When he gave no reply and continued laughing, I looked to Alex for an answer. He merely shrugged and shook his head.

Gabe quickly settled down, wiping a tear from his eye, and pointed to the sign. “What, you don’t see the sign?”

I glanced at the building’s sign once more. After Alex and I read it, he let out another laugh. Clearly we were missing something. “Oh, no wonder you got roped into this so easily, Darren.”

“So you’ve heard of this ‘Gentleman for Mares’ thing?” I asked with a frown. Gabe’s laughing could mean a variety of things. Few of them would bode well for me in most cases.

“Yeah, I have, and I’m surprised you two haven’t. It’s all that you hear about in tabloids and such these days.” He ran a hand through his his sandy brown locks of hair. “Oh man, this day just got a whole lot more interesting.”

“What are you talking about?” Alex asked irately, already growing tired of Gabe’s antics. “And to be honest, no, I don’t read tabloids.”

“Yeah, what’s the big deal?” I asked, getting annoyed by Gabe’s growing smirk.

“Nothing, nothing. Come on, let’s just go inside. You guys will see what I’m talking about soon enough,” Gabe replied, heading up the sidewalk and towards the building.

The place itself was made of red brick, and it was relatively small for an office building, no more than two stories high. There was a vibrant flower garden along the front of the building, and wooden benches on either side of the walkway. Birds fluttered around the building, stopping to eat at a feeder or bathe in the stone bird bath that had been put out in the middle of the yard near the sign.

“Huh, the place certainly has a welcoming feel to it,” I said aloud.

Gabe and Alex gave grunts of agreement. Truth was, it was not what I had expected for a building in this part of town. I had been expecting a rather dull wooden or stone building, not some humble, cheery, brick building with a well-kept lawn and flower garden.

I was the first to walk through the doors, the soft jingle of bells making our presence known to the receptionist at the front desk. The tan earth pony glanced up from behind a pair of thick rimmed glasses, her eyes widening a fraction as she took in the three of us. She gave us a professional smile as we approached the front desk. “Good morning, sirs, how may I help you?”

I gave her a smile. “Hello, miss. Is Silky here today?”

The mare’s smile grew a bit as she nodded. “Oh, so you must be the three that she was telling me to look out for.” She hopped down from her seat and motioned for us to follow her. “She should be available right now, actually. Please, follow me.”

“Yes?” was the reply from the other side of the door. The receptionist opened it, and we were greeted by the sight of none other than Silky behind a desk littered with papers. She glanced up, her eyes falling on the mare first. “Yes, Manila—?” She paused upon seeing the three of us. “Ah, hello boys!” She smiled brightly. “I hope this morning wasn’t too harsh on you three after last night.”

“We’ve had worse,” Alex replied nonchalantly while Gabe and I nodded.

Silky chuckled, “I’m sure.” She gave Manila a nod, and the mare excused herself to return to the front desk. Silky smirked as she took in our appearances, nodding approvingly. “Well, you boys sure know how to present yourselves.

We all gave varying smiles and nods of thanks. All three of us wore khakis and formal-wear shoes. Alex and I wore button up collared shirts with ties while Gabe was sporting a nice zip-up collared sweater jacket.

“Let it not be said that we don’t know how to look like gentlemen,” Gabe replied.

Silky raised an eyebrow at Gabe’s comment. A moment passed before a smile broke out across her face and she laughed softly. “That’s good to hear. I’ll be sure to remember that.” She gestured to a small side table with a coffee maker brewing. “Help yourselves to a cup if you want. There’s some donuts and fruit in the lobby nearby if you’re hungry at all.”

After we each got ourselves a cup, Silky got up from her desk. “Right, why don’t we find a more comfortable place to sit while I talk about the job with each of you?” She made her way towards the door of her office.

Within five minutes I was sitting in a open waiting area with Alex while Gabe was speaking with Silky in a room next door. After I finished my coffee, I picked up a magazine on a table next to my chair and glanced over it. Alex had a newspaper in hand already, reading it over with mild interest.

“Anything noteworthy?” I asked him.

He said nothing for a moment, then grunted an affirmative. “Yeah, actually. Some ‘experts’ from Canterlot are saying that those changelings or whatever might be on the rise again.”

“Changelings?” I repeated, intrigued. “You mean those creatures that tried invading Canterlot a few years back?”

“Yeah, some time before the portal opened up, I think,” Alex continued. “They got a picture of one from that invasion on here. Take a look,” He held up the paper for me to see. “They remind me a bit of something you’d see in one of the Alien movies or something.”

I took the newspaper with genuine interest, studying the front page picture. It was a slightly blurred photograph that had been taken by an anonymous pony during the Canterlot invasion. The creatures were dark-skinned, almost a black chitin of sorts, and had holes in their legs and insect-like wings. Aside from that, they had frills on their necks, a horn jutting out of their forehead, and vibrant blue eyes.

All in all, not as terrifying as Alex made them sound. “Oh come on, Alex, they aren’t that scary-looking.”

He shrugged. “I’m just saying that I wouldn’t want to run into one of them in a dark alley.”

I rolled my eyes, “Right, because the adorable little race that feeds on love would be any more dangerous than a griffon or dragon in a fight.”

“Adorable?” Alex repeated, cocking an eyebrow. “Alright, Darren, you’ve been out in the Everfree Forest too long. National Geographic would make you a television show host in a heartbeat.”

“What?” I laughed. “Come on, look at that picture. It’s got those big, blue eyes and those frilly wings. It almost looks like a pony if you squint, too.”

“Uh huh,” Alex replied flatly. “It also has sharp teeth and feeds on love. I hear they can turn their hosts into mindless zombies if they feed long enough.”

“You know, equines have canine teeth sometimes, too,” I pointed out.

“Mindless zombies,” Alex said once more. “That’s just scary… sort’ve. I mean, how do you eat an emotion, anyway?”

I shook my head and handed the paper back to him. “First of all, from what I heard, that incident with Prince Shining Armor was due partially to a changeling queen or whatever using a mind control spell to weaken him over time. Secondly, considering they’re an intelligent species, just like us, ponies, and such, I’m sure not all of them are aggressive like those that were in Canterlot.”

Alex shook his head as he continued with the newspaper. “Well, either way, an invasion of Canterlot seems like a ludicrous idea without a lot of power to back it up. The changelings had that in spades, though.” He leaned closer to me, and whispered. “I even heard Starchy at the bakery down the road tell me once that the changeling queen responsible for that invasion managed to overpower Celestia herself.”

I frowned at that bit. “Really?”

“Yeah, freaky, huh?” He shook his head. “Pony goddess who controls the sun was outmatched by some changeling—”

“Alex?” called the voice of Silky, who poked her head into the lobby, “Are you ready?”

“Oh, yeah,” Alex replied. He set down his paper, and gave me a nod. As he turned around the corner and followed Silky, Gabe reappeared. He had a small smile on his face. Not the usual smug one, but a genuine smile. He gave me a nod as he approached.

“Well?” I asked.

“I’ll be starting training next week Tuesday,” he answered after a moment.

“So, anything I should know about this job?” I asked.

The moment the words left my lips, I noticed Gabe’s smile falter a little. He scratched his neck and cleared his throat. “Look, Darren, I’ve known for you for how long now? Eight years?”

“Nine years this fall.”

“Right, and I’ve never lead you astray, have I?”

“...”

“When it’s important,” he added quickly. “You’ve always trusted me, right?”

“Gabe, what did you do?” I asked with a suppressed groan. “So help me, if you overdrew from your checking account again—”

“No, no, nothing like that. Come on, that was four years ago, and I did pay you back…” Gabe shook his head and continued. “Look, I’m just going to be upfront with you, okay? Silky asked me flat out if you would be good for the line of work they have here. I told her yes. She seems hopeful for all three of us, but in the end, this decision is yours, got it?”

I rolled my eyes and laughed. “Okay, Gabe, I’m sure—”

“Darren, I’m serious,” Gabe said, his voice lacking it’s usual joking tone. “If you don’t think the job is good for you, you should probably back out while you’re ahead of yourself.”

“What are we doing, applying for work as bodyguards?” I asked.

“I’d rather not say, at least not until you’re done with your interview. Don’t give me that look, I’m not plotting anything against you, I just don’t want to affect your decision until you’ve heard it from her, okay?” He sighed, “I said you’d be good for this job, Darren. I’ve always trusted you, and I think you will be able to do this… and hopefully enjoy it, too.” He gave me a pat on the shoulder before heading out of the lobby. “I’ll talk to you later, alright? I’m going to go and tell Amber the news. She’ll be happy to hear about this.”

As Gabe left, I felt my jaw going a little slack. Gabe being friendly and polite was one thing, but Gabe being serious?

“What the hell kind of job is this?” I asked the empty lobby, suddenly finding it hard to focus on the magazine about the latest fashions trends among men and stallions.

Alex’s interview took a lot longer than Gabe’s had. It was about a half hour before he finally walked out. He had an intense look on his face. He appeared to be deep in thought, and almost didn’t notice the table in front of him as he walked by.

“So…?”

“Hm?” Alex asked, stopping short of tripping over a coffee table. “Oh, yeah. I’m hired, heh. Starting this Wednesday with training. Gabe’s apparently a little more qualified, so he’ll be starting a day sooner than us.” He shrugged with a small smile. “Thanks for telling me about this, Darren. If… even if you don’t take the job, I appreciate it, okay?”

Right, something was definitely going on here. “Sure thing. You alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, just thinking. Maybe I’ll see if Sugar is at her grandmother’s shop and pay her a visit.” He then laughed, “Not like I have to be at work today.”

With that Alex also made his way out of the lobby, leaving me alone with my thoughts once more.

I had expected Silky to call my name shortly after the end of Alex’s interview, but after five long minutes, she had yet do so. I was getting worried after ten minutes passed that something had changed; that she had decided to just go with Gabe and Alex, and didn’t think I would be needed.

Then…

“Darren?” She appeared from around the corner, smiling as brightly as she had when I had first walked into her office. “Ah, sorry about that, just had to get a few papers taken care of for Gabe and Alex. Ready?”

Getting up from my chair, I followed her into what I could only define as a lounge. There was a luxurious sofa and reclining chair with cushions that I suspected were full of pegasi down, a small patio door leading out to the back of the building, and a quaint bar that, I noted, had an assortment of drinks from the lands of both Tellus and Earth.

Silky noticed my gaze, and smiled. “I’m not a connoisseur, but I like variety.” She waved a hoof. “I’m partial to the ales from your planet. If I were to be honest, the human world’s dark ales and stouts make anything they brew up in Vanhoover or here in Hoofington pale in comparison.”

I caught her little joke and smirked. “Well, I’m partial to ambers and brown ales myself, but pale ales aren’t bad, either.”

She rolled her eyes and chuckled. “You wouldn’t believe how many ponies and humans I tried that on before someone finally got it.”

“Heh, well, in their defense, you seem more than a little knowledgeable with the human world… or at least our beer. Most ponies aren’t, ” I said with a grin.

She gave a sigh. “What can I say? Liquid sin is a weakness… well, in moderation, that is.” She cleared her throat. “I’m sorry, we should be getting to the interview, shouldn't we?” She plopped onto the couch, and I took the chair across from her. She gave me a half-lidded smirk as I sat down. “This couch was actually made for humans in mind, you know. It’d probably be more comfortable than that chair.” She patted the cushion gently, urging me to sit down beside her.

I felt myself flush a bit in the cheeks. “I’m comfortable here, thank you.” I gave her a small smile.

Her smile became less smoky, turning once more to that friendly one that seemed so natural on her. “Suit yourself.” She adjusted herself a bit on the couch, stretching out her neck a bit and spreading her wings out. She then stretched her legs a bit, giving me a clear view of her cutie mark. It was a stylized feather with three hearts surrounding it. Odd how I didn’t notice it last night at the bar.

I will tell you right now that living in Equestria tends to force one to learn the language a bit, so to speak. I’ve learned a few of the more simple gestures and body language of Equestrians over the few years I’ve been here: scraping at the ground and while whinnying or snorting can be a sign of aggression. Ears pulled back and flat against the head can be a sign of fear, anger, annoyance, or sadness, depending on the situation. Facial cues help, and thankfully Equestrians and humans have similar enough facial expressions. That and if one has familiarity with horses back on Earth, they’re already ahead of the game.

There were more complex, subtle ones that I sort have come to understand over the time I spent here, but wasn’t quite familiar with at the same time. Two unicorns touching horns, for instance, was a gesture I had seen before but could only narrow down to being very personal. Not necessarily romantic or intimate, but something that you won’t see two co-workers or even good friends do, at least not in open public. Some ponies intertwined their tails at times, but I’ve seen both married couples as well as friends do this.

Then there were the many—or so Hemlock once told me when he had been dating a pegasus—frustrating complexities of wings and their positions. Fully flared wings while a pegasi is crouched could mean playfulness, fear, or hostility. Again, it varies depending on the facial expression. Lifted and slightly unfurled wings could mean contentment or just simply indicate a pegasus was intent on lifting off the ground soon. Ramrod straight wings, fully unfurled usually meant surprise… or arousal, which was both odd and somewhat funny to most of the humans I knew in Equestria.

There was one that I recall Hemlock telling me, though, that I was witnessing before my very eyes. When a pegasus before you stretches out their wings and extends them outwards, upwards, and moves them with exceptionally slow movements, it can mean one of two things: they’re waking up from a nap and stretching, or trying to appear attractive before you.

Silky closed her wings against her sides once more and smiled. “So, Darren, how long have you been in Equestria?”

“Uh,” I began, my mind still trying to catch up with the present, “About two years and some odd months, give or take. Almost three years, I guess.”

“Mm,” she said, picking up a paper and clipboard. She scratched in something with a pencil, then continued after taking the pencil out of her mouth. “Any relatives living with you in Equestria?”

“None in Equestria, just friends. I do have a brother who’s currently over in the griffin lands who’s helping train other griffin medics. He’s a Corpsman trained for battlefield first aid. He was there back when the Cloven attacks took place. Luckily, he made it through that nightmare with his life and all his limbs.”

She nodded, and made a quick tick mark on her clipboard. “I’m glad to hear that. We all owe you humans a lot for helping the griffins fight off the Cloven. I wish more Tellurians would remember that.” She cleared her throat. “Well, if that’s the case, would you mind telling me what attracted you to coming to our world?” She set down the clipboard and pencil, genuine curiosity inflecting her words. “I’m always curious to hear the reasoning. To be honest, you humans are unlike any other creature we’ve seen. Ambitious, driven, and almost terrifying.”

“Terrifying?” I repeated with a frown.

“Not necessarily in a bad way. I… well, let’s put it this way. Humans adapt to change very quickly. Yesterday’s enemies are today’s allies. You’ve made weapons of terrible power, but you’ve also found causes and cures for some of the most deadly diseases known to your species, and many other species as well. You’ve learned so much about the world around you, but are not content with that.” She smiled wistfully. “You’ve all accomplished so much, but you know that it’s not enough. Ponies? Aside from some bright individuals in our group, like Princess Twilight Sparkle or Captain Spitfire of the Wonderbolts, we ponies aren’t as inclined to this mentality of continuous improvement and discovery. There are individuals who might dedicate themselves to a particular cause, sure, but the vast majority of us are not so excited for change and evolution of our culture. At least not to the extent that humans do.”

“I… huh, I guess when you put it that way, we can be kind of intimidating, huh?” I laughed softly. “Truth be told, I think a good portion of the human world was holding their breath when we made first contact with Tellus.”

Silky laughed and nodded. “Hoofington’s mayor declared that until we got word from Canterlot, all major operations outside of what was necessary to keep the town running would be put on hold. A few ponies feared we had opened a portal that would bring forth some great evil or disaster…” She looked up to me as she continued. “Then… imagine our surprise and thrill when we saw that we weren’t alone in this vast universe. There is other life beyond our little sphere. Life that’s so much like our own, but so incredibly different at the same time.”

“Heh, good point as well. Yeah, Neo Equinenox really changed how a lot of people view the universe now,” I agreed.

“Oh, ahem,” Silky cleared her throat. “Gosh, there I go, off on a tangent. Sorry,” She rubbed her forehead and sighed. “So, in a roundabout way of asking… what made you decide to come to Equestria?”

I frowned, partly out of a need to think, and partly because not all my reasons were positive. A lot of them were, but…

“Well, honestly, I wanted to see this world. I love Earth, don’t get me wrong, but being able to live and walk on a completely different planet? That is something that I can safely say is not what all humans will ever get to do. Anyone who has two legs can find a place with a park or forest and enjoy nature there, but how many can say they went to said park and had an actual conversation about the weather or politics with another form of life outside of your own species?” I scratched my chin. “I also was looking for a job, and my uncle just so happened to know people who could get me a job with an environmental interest company. Up until yesterday, I had worked there, and from what my boss had told me, it wasn’t her choice to let me go. I… believe you heard a good portion of that yesterday.”

Silky nodded slowly. “I truly am sorry to hear about that. It sounds like you really enjoyed working for Ecosystems for Equestria.”

“I did. My co-workers were great, and they didn’t really care that I was a human. To be honest, I was worried that me being a human was going to be a big deal with that job, even if it was a joint project between both human and Equestrian governments.”

“Well, rest assured, you being a human will not be a problem for this job. If anything, it’s a requirement,” Silky said with a smile. “Darren, I need to ask you a few… personal questions, if you don’t mind. Is that alright?”

I shrugged. “You asked me a few the other night. I’ll answer them if I feel comfortable, sure.”

“Great,” Silky said as she once more picked up her clipboard and pencil, “First of all, do you have any personal issues with Equestrians when it comes to social norms and the like?”

“Issues?” I frowned. “Not really. Well, there is one, it’s a minor one, but I suppose it’s more of a species barrier than a cultural one.”

“Do tell,” Silky said encouragingly.

“Grinning,” I said with a chuckle. “Ponies, at least ones that either aren’t around humans that often, or ones that I don’t know, always seem uncomfortable when I grin.” I continued before she could speak. “I realized after a while that it’s because of our sharper looking teeth, and the implications that come with them. Humans aren’t strictly vegetarian, and many of us do eat meat. Our teeth aren’t all flat; we have teeth for shredding and tearing off pieces of meat as well as teeth for mashing vegetation like fruits, vegetables, and the like.” I chuckled a bit before continuing, “Given that Equestrian diets are almost entirely, if not completely, vegetarian, and…” I noticed her smiling in amusement, her eyes twinkling with mirth. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

“Oh, I am. You’re every bit the biologist that Gabe said you were,” Silky chuckled a little. “You’re speaking from experience, aren’t you?”

“Yeah. When I first started my job in Hoofington, I scared more than a few of my co-workers before Gabe explained the whole thing with teeth.” I shrugged. “I apologized, and it was water under the bridge. Still, though, it’s a habit of mine. I like grinning when I laugh or smile. It’s hard to be conscious of it, but I’ve tried to keep myself from doing it around other ponies.”

“Well, for the record, I like human smiles. They’re expressive, even if they are a little intimidating at first glance. One thing we—and by ‘we’, I mean ponies working for Gentleman for Mares—have been trained to do is maintain eye contact and not stare at human’s teeth. It helped me a lot when I was new here. Now, though?” She waved a hoof. “I’ve been around humans so often that I’m no longer bothered by it.” She jotted down some notes on the clipboard quickly, then looked up. “Anything else?”

“Nothing that comes to mind,” I answered truthfully.

“Right, well… this never gets easier to ask, but… is there a special someone in your life right now?”

“Um,” I gave her what must have been an odd look, because her smile wavered a bit. “Well, no, not right now. I’ve been single since before I arrived in Equestria.”

“Was there ever someone like that in your life.”

I shrugged. “Yeah, I dated someone back in high school. It didn’t last long though when I found out she was simply doing it to get her ex-boyfriend jealous. She got back with him after about a month when it just didn’t work out between us.” I tapped my chin. “Then there was a girl… well, she was more of a good friend, that I had dated when I was in college. We dated, sorta… nothing came out of it, but we’re still friends. Just a mutual agreement that we were better off not continuing it.”

Silky hummed. “That must have been awkward.”

“Not really,” I said, shaking my head. “Like I said, we’re still close friends. I mean, yeah, the first few weeks after we ended our relationship were a bit weird, but we still cared about each other, just not romantically. It’s kind of hard to stop caring about a friend you’ve known for more than half your life.” I hummed in thought, then added. “There was a few other women I dated, but they were brief. We just didn’t click in some way or another. The last woman I dated was about six months before college ended for me. Not much came out of it other than sex, lots of late-night arguments on the phone, and me finding out that there was another guy that she had been seeing.”

“Oh dear, I’m sorry to hear that…” Silky said, the corners of her lips pulling down to a frown.

“Don’t. She had been sleeping with the other guy for three months before I found out. I think the guy knew she was dating me, too.” I laughed as Silky shook her head sympathetically. “It’s alright, I was miserable around her most of the time, anyway.”

Silky went silent for a few moments as she jotted down a few more notes, then set her clipboard down. “What about mares?”

“Um…” I frowned. “What about them?”

“Mares. Have any caught your eye? Any that you find attractive or that you think might be interested in you?”

I sat up a bit in my chair. “What kind of job is this, exactly?” In all due fairness, I should have asked that from the get-go. My stupid desperation for work and my intoxicated state of mind last night were to blame, though, so I had no right to complain to anyone but myself.

Silky nodded, closing her eyes and letting out a sigh. “Gentleman for Mares is an escort service for mares, in a nutshell. Our clients vary from all walks of life, so we strive to have our service providers be as flexible and adaptable as possible.” She sounded like she had recited these words before, likely several times in the past. “A Gentleman is always expanding his repertoire and making each customer a happy one, for a happy customer is a repeat customer.”

I sat there for what may have been minutes, my mind slowly turning its gears. “I’m sorry, did you say an escort service?” Silky nodded. “As in… take someone out for a nice dinner, give them company… and…?”

Silky sighed, though it sounded like it was more out of exhaustion. “Yes, and usually have sex afterwards.” She frowned. “I assure you, we are as professional in regards to such things, and give our employees the best possible care and treatment we can. We will give you plenty of training, education on Equestrian society, and physical conditioning so you are prepared for the job… if you decide to take our offer.” She gave me a forced smile.

“Uh… huh…” I leaned back a bit, and rubbed my chin in thought. Internally, I was more than a little bewildered by this sudden revelation. Serves me right for going into a job interview blind, I guess. “I take it that’s a major part of the job, huh?”

Silky cleared her throat, as though trying not to laugh. “Not always, but it’s a common reason that our services are requested. We mares can’t always put out the fire ourselves, so to speak.” Her tail moved a bit as she cleared her throat. “I understand if you’re a bit… surprised by this, but I will make it clear right now; Gentlemen for Mares is in the business of providing companionship to ponies, and part of that deal often involves sex.” She offered me a gentle smile. “Still interested?”

I was weighing the options in my mind, and was a bit surprised by how okay I was with the idea. I mean, I’m not going to go ahead and say I was starving for a chance to go to town on a pony, but when you’ve lived among them for over two years, you start finding it less and less difficult to relate to them. Part of that involved looking past the whole species barrier when it came to interactions.

“So…” I began, scratching my neck. “Gabe and Alex both took the jobs, huh?”

“Yes, they did. Gabe was fine, and he knew about it right away. Alex was informed about the job’s details only a few minutes after I started asking him about his relationship. Considering that he and Sugar Sweet hit it off rather well, I assumed he would be alright with this job…” She chuckled quietly, “I realize you’re a bit of an oddball here, no offense. It’s just… well, you don’t seem to have any aversion to mares, but…”

“Hm.” I smiled, this time without showing my teeth, and she seemed to relax a bit. “How often would I be getting clients that want to do the two-way tango, if you don’t mind me asking?”

She chuckled a bit at my choice of words. “That all depends on you and your experience, Darren. I’m relatively new to the whole Gentlemen training department, but I’ve heard stories from other handlers. Some of their Gentlemen are very specialized.”

Specialized? I quirked an eyebrow at that. “Uh… care to elaborate?”

“Well… let me think… there are Gentlemen who almost only take on jobs for clients in heat. Others have a bit of a wild side to them.” She laughed. “Would you believe there are even a few who are inclined towards multiple mares at the same time, or aerial stunts while pleasuring clients?”

I raised an eyebrow, holding back a snort of laughter. “Now you’re messing with me.”

She giggled, “I wish I were, but I’ve heard and seen written reports from handlers. Though, it goes without saying that some of our clients also have preferences for particular or only a single Gentlemen. Some even develop strong relationships with their Gentlemen.” She took her clipboard and jotted down a note before looking back up. “There are bad experiences, too. However—and keep in mind, I don’t speak for all mares here—us mares are more than forgiving if our partner is willing to give it another go in the bed, so to speak. More than a few of our most talented Gentlemen started out with very little experience regarding tending to the needs of mares.”

“If I might ask, Silky… why? I mean, I can understand: sex sells. But you mentioned that it was more than that. What’s made this business so in demand?”

“Well,” Silky slowly got up from her seat and walked over to me, stopping a few paces from where I sat. I’ve been quick to learn that the personal space bubble for Equestrians is smaller than that of humans. It took a while to get used to, but I’ve learned not to let it get to me when a pony is practically brushing against me. Silky, if anything, was being courteous when she stopped short of where I was sitting, and was now resting a hoof on the table beside me. “I’m sure you’re aware of how just how skewed the sex ratio in Equestria is.”

I nodded. It wasn’t exactly that hard to notice. You’d be hard pressed to not run into at least a few mares before seeing a single stallion in any town or city within Equestria. It wasn’t too uncommon in a species to have skewed sex ratios. Some animal species could even change their sex if conditions demanded it back on Earth.

Silky continued. “For every baby colt born there are at least three fillies born as well. The pony sex ratio has been like this for as long as any can remember. It’s the reason why herds exist in the first place, Darren. There just simply aren’t enough stallions for every mare out there looking for that special somepony in their life. A lot are content being a part of a herd, but… well, that doesn’t change the fact that we can get lonely. Sometimes you just need the warmth of another body to remind you that the world isn’t such a lonely place...” It was hard not to pick up the melancholy tone in her words, and a part of me almost felt guilty for asking her such a question.

“Ah… yeah, I guess I didn’t think of that. Humans have a relatively equal sex ratio. So, I guess the desire and need for… herds… isn’t as strong for us. We typically pick a single partner and stick with them if everything works out. Or for a few months, if you’re in the Hollywood tabloids… or not.” She gave me a curious look, and I waved a hand. “Don’t worry about it, I was rambling.”

Silky nodded. “I think that deep down, a lot of Equestrians want a sense of being wanted. That’s my opinion at least…” She licked her lips, then looked up to me. She seemed almost hesitant to speak, but continued. “Darren… I know I asked you last night about pony and human relationships, and I know you said you have no problem with them. However, what about…” She now had her eyes glued to the floor. “What about yourself? Would you turn down a relationship like that? Hypothetically speaking, of course.”

I bit the inside of my cheek softly as I thought over that one. Once more I thought back to that brief moment when I had caught myself staring at the posterior of the very mare standing before me. It had been intentional, too, either, even if I tried to believe otherwise.

“I… suppose not. It’d take some adjusting, but I’d probably… I guess I’d give it a shot, if I really liked the mare.” I could feel my cheeks heating up a bit. “As for sex… well…” I chuckled, “It’s apparently not all that bad, if this business is anything to go off of. So… yeah… I guess I’d be down for it, as long as I wasn’t blindsided by the offer. Honestly, though, it’d probably come down to if I liked the mare’s personality. I know plenty of great mares who I could see as someone that I’d date just based on their personality. That’s always been a major thing with me and anyone I’ve dated.

Looks helped, though, but that was true for almost anyone.

“Ah…” Silky took a tentative step closer to me, and I could now make out the finer details in her feathers, and the stray hairs in her golden mane. Still not close enough to be considered rude, though. “Darren… what would it take to make you give Gentleman for Mares a chance? Do you find me attractive, for example?”

Her smile was soft, yet hungry. It was a look I’d seen before in the eyes of women I had dated in the past. It was hard not to recognize it.

Before I even realized it, she had closed the distance between us, close enough that I could make out the specks of green in her blue eyes now. A single hoof was resting on my knee. It was crazy, but… I wasn’t really bothered by it. Surprised? Definitely, but I felt reassured by her touch. It was as though my troubles had slowly begun to melt away, as corny as it is to think. Whatever it was, it helped clear my mind a bit, which I think was exactly what I needed at the moment.

“I…” I thought to myself. Did I find Silky attractive? What about other Equestrian mares in general? I looked into her eyes, those sapphire orbs dancing with restrained emotions. Her mane reminded me of a wheat field in the summer sun, a golden blonde with rays of morning sun catching it at all the right angles. Her coat was a modest tan, but not a dull color. No, it was like an untouched beach, the portion of sand where the tides rolled in and receded. Not dry, but not submerged in the ocean, either. The part that felt great beneath your toes, where the color was just a shade or two darker than the white, coarse grains closer inland.

A voice in the back of my chimed in at that moment: Mares? Attractive? Like you, Silky? Hell, yeah!

Okay… so I did find mares attractive. Well, we got that question out of the way, didn’t we? Good work, brain, now, let’s see if we can get back to using our words to communicate.

The nervous flutter in my chest returned as I started taking in the fact that a beautiful creature like Silky was standing before me, and her attention was focused solely on me at the moment. I leaned back a little as her breath tickled my face. Silky’s other hoof gently settled onto my other knee as she leaned forward. Slowly, her wings began to spread themselves out as she continued to lean closer.

I heard a shudder, and realized it was my own voice. “S-Silky?”

That seemed to snap her out of whatever trance she was in. She pulled away with a soft gasp. “O-oh!” She took several steps back, her face beet red, and her eyes glued to the floor. “I-I’m so sorry! I just…gahh, horseapples!” She stamped her hooves on the ground as she uttered the Equestrian profanity. “Darren, I am truly sorry for that! I… don’t know what came over me, and that was completely unprofessional of me.” Her ears were folded back now, and I could tell that she was on the verge of tears. She managed to hold back the choking in her voice as she continued. “I appreciate you stopping by. If you wish, I can have Manila show you out and—”

Now, while that had been a tad uncomfortable, I could tell Silky was suffering from it more than I was. Far be from me to refuse helping a woman, or mare in this case, in need. “Silky…?”

The pegasus paused, her cheeks having settled to a healthy shade of pink. “H-huh?”

To this day, I wasn’t sure what came over me back there. Perhaps it was some latent magic in the air; Equestria was full of it, after all. Even so, I was of sound mind and body as the words left my mouth, so I’m not even sure if magic was a part of it.

“I’d… like take up your job offer, if that’s alright with you.”

“Y-you would?” Silky said, her wings flaring out fully in surprise. “Really?!” She frowned a little. “Are you certain? I didn’t mean to try and… and seduce you like that. It’s just, I’m in the middle of my…I mean…” She shook her head. “Please be honest with yourself, Darren. Would you like to give this job a chance?”

“Y-yeah. Though… I’ll probably need some help with the job, especially the part where I deal with the clients and—”

A squeal of joy was the only warning I got as Silky lifted off the air with a leap and tackled me in a hug. She giggled uncontrollably as I fell back onto the couch. She nuzzled my cheek and laughed happily as I chuckled, more out of confusion than anything.

“Ohhhh thankyouthankyou thank you!” She said as she pulled back, planting a quick peck on my cheek. “Darren, you’re a lifesaver!”

I am?

“Really?” I asked.

“Yes! You see, the Hoofington branch of Gentleman for Mares is actually fairly old… well, old in regards to the business itself. We’ve been around for almost as long as the main headquarters in Manehattan, but we’ve never really done any direct work with any of the company’s Gentlemen.”

“Gentlemen… as in the escorts?”

“Yes, though we prefer the term Gentlemen,” Silky explained. “Anyway, headquarters sent us a request a couple months ago, asking us to start recruiting Gentlemen. Not many, mind you. A dozen at most. So far, we’ve managed to find five, which is the minimum they asked for.” She smiled brightly. “Five men like yourself.” She tapped my chest with a hoof. “You have just given us that needed goal… and honestly, I think you’re the perfect fit for the role.”

I wasn’t so sure about that myself, considering Gabe probably had more qualifications for the job, but… well, what was the worst that could happen? If it didn’t work out, at best, I’d be out of a job again and have to search for employment. Maybe even get a bit of a severance pay from the company. At worst, possibly some mental scarring, though the idea of ponies leaving me with a traumatic experience seemed highly unlikely. I mean, this is coming from a guy who was attacked by a vicious, Vampiric Jackalope of all things.

All in all, the odds were in my favor.

“So… how am I a lifesaver?”

“Ah, well, we’re mainly an administrative branch of Gentleman for Mares. We take care of a lot of the requests and process forms for clients. Request forms get sent here in bulk, usually from new clients. We check their backgrounds, keep track of special conditions for each client, and so forth.”

“Sounds like a lot of work,” I commented. “How much paperwork do you process?”

“Depends on a lot of factors. The current season, weather forecasts, travel fare, social events… even the latest fashion and trends in cuisine, believe it or not. Though, to put it in perspective, we cover the region within Appleloosa, Las Pegasus, and Canterlot, and everything in between. That’s a good third or so of Equestria right there.”

“Wow… and it’s just you and Manila that do the work?” I asked in amazement.

“Huh?” She blinked. “Oh! No, no, we’ve got about two dozen employees here, not including our soon-to-be Gentlemen. Most of the staff should be here in about another fifteen minutes, though. It’s only ten in the morning, after all. We run a later shift here.” She frowned. “Until recently, we had been on the brink of getting a cut in our branch’s budget for the year, possibly even having our doors closed. We offered to start a small bit of Gentlemen training in hopes that it would alleviate the strain on the bigger branches, if only a little. Five was the minimum, and we just met it.”

Huh. I guess I had just saved the business a bit. Not a bad start to a new job, I suppose. “Well, either way, um… when do I start?”

Silky smiled, finally getting down from my lap and landing back on the floor. “You’ll be starting this coming Wednesday with Alex. I’ll get you acquainted with your fellow Gentlemen, and introduce you to your teachers.”

“Teachers?” I repeated, a little baffled. It must have shown, for Silky smiled while giving me a slight nod.

“Mhm, Ambrosia, Pizzelle, and Royal Ribbon. Each Gentleman will have three teachers: one unicorn, one pegasus, and one earth pony. That way we can properly prepare your for dealing with all three races.” Silky leaned a little closer to me and whispered. “Considering that we only have five Gentlemen here, Manehattan HQ saw it fit that all of you each get one-on-one training, so the teachers won’t have to worry about instructing more than one Gentleman. That’s almost unheard of for the company!” She seemed rather excited by this if the clopping together of her hooves was any indication. It was actually quite adorable.

“Well, I’m looking forward to it, heh.” I gave her a small smile. “I have to admit, though, I have no idea what to expect other than… you know…”

Silky nodded. “Don’t worry. Like I said, we’ll be sure to get you comfortable with the many aspects of the job. The company as a whole puts in a lot of effort to train and help our service providers. This won’t be a trial by fire, I promise you that. Erm, that’s how the expression goes, right?”

“Close enough,” I laughed softly, getting up from the couch. “So, I guess I’ll be seeing you Wednesday, then, right?”

“Yep, Wednesday, nine in the morning. Oh, and we’ll be serving breakfast, so keep that in mind.” Silky beamed as she made her way out of the room with me following behind.

As we entered the main lobby, Manila looked up from her typewriter and to Silky. Silky gave the bespectacled mare a nod, and Manila grinned, turning to me. “Welcome aboard!” She fished out a pamphlet from her desk, and set it out before me. “If you could, please read that over before the meeting next week Wednesday. It has a bit more information on what we stand for as a business, and a little bit on what you as a Gentleman should expect from us as your employer.” She turned back towards her desk after giving me a nod, only to quickly add. “Oh, right! We’ll be hooking up one of those new telephone lines in about a month, so if you ever need to reach us, we have a number to get a hold of. The numbers are not yet in service, but they’re printed in the pamphlet.”

“Will do,” I replied with a nod, taking the pamphlet, which was a simple silhouette of a male human with a white necktie.

“We’ll obviously have to go through the necessary paperwork before we officially hire you, but you can consider yourself hired.” Silky reached out with a hoof, and it took me a minute to catch on. I smiled, and grabbed her offered hoof in my hands, kneeled a bit, and shook it firmly. “Welcome to our little family, Mr. Halverson.”

“You know, I have to admit, I was half-expecting you to be pissed off at me right now,” Gabe laughed as we sat outside a small café. Alex and Gabe had left a note on my apartment door, telling me they were going to be having a late lunch, and figured one way or another, I’d want to talk to them about today.

“Oh, don’t get me wrong, I still would like to deck you across the face,” I grumbled while finishing the last of a black bean burger and caesar salad. “Right now, though, I’m still trying to figure out whether I’m going to regret this later or not. I mean… it sounds nice, but it also seems almost too good to be true, you know? The fact that I took the job partially because you two did scares me a little.”

“Peer pressure’s a bitch, huh?” Gabe joked, earning a scowl from me. “Oh, come on, lighten up a bit. Silky has high hopes for us, and from what I can tell, she’s been very particular about possible Gentlemen, so I’d say we’re going to be fine. I mean, after I explained I was dating Amber, she knew I was a good fit for working for them.”

“Makes sense, I guess. What about you, Alex?” I asked, looking to our friend, who was reading another newspaper, this one from Canterlot.

He looked to me and shrugged. “I told her I don’t mind the idea. That was about it.”

Ah, Alex, the master of nonchalance. “Just like that?”

“Yep.” He returned to his paper. “I wasn’t sure about you, though. I was with Gabe on the whole thing and expecting you to be chasing us both down with a baseball bat or something.”

“Thanks for the show of faith, guys,” I mumbled, setting my now empty plate aside. “So, was there any other reason why we’re meeting at a café of all places? Usually we just go down to Beedee’s tavern for this sort of thing.”

“Yeah, actually,” Gabe began. “I figured you guys would like to meet Amber, seeing as you haven’t yet. She’s not working today, so I biked over to her place after my meeting and asked if she wanted to stop by and meet you guys.” He looked at his wrist watch. “She said she’d be here a little after one.”

I looked to my own watch. It was about twenty after one right now. “Hm, well, she’s probably on her way, then.” I noticed an earth pony mare heading towards us, a spring in her step as soon as she looked to Gabe. “Is that her?”

Gabe spun around, and his face lit up noticeably. “Hey!”

Amber’s face split into a wide smile. “Gabe, sorry I’m late! Mayfly, Thimble, and Two Bits needed my help moving a few things into their new home, and I lost track of time.” She noticed Alex and I, then turned back to Gabe. “These boys your friends that I’ve heard so much about?”

“Yep. Alex, Darren, meet Amber.”

Alex nodded politely. “Pleased to meet you, Amber. Glad someone could rein this lunatic in a bit.”

“Yeah, thanks for keeping our friend under control, Amber. We owe you for that,” I added. Gabe rolled his eyes while Amber giggled a bit.

Amber’s name fit her well. Her coat was a deep shade of orange, her long, flowing mane was a golden yellow with streaks of brown and red intermingling with it. Her cutie mark, I noticed, was a trio of gold and—surprise, surprise—amber colored stones. Her bright green eyes were the only thing that skewed away from the rest of her body’s color scheme. Her cheeks and muzzle were covered in freckles, giving her a rather youthful look. She couldn’t have been much older than Gabe judging by her looks.

“So, Gabe told me you boys are going to be working for Gentleman for Mares, huh?” she asked conversationally.

“Yeah, apparently Gabe forgot to give us the heads up on what the company was all about,” I said with a sigh.

Amber’s ears flattened a bit. “Oh, um… did you not want to work there?”

“Huh? Oh! No, I mean, I don’t mind the idea of working there. It’s just… how do I put this…?” I frowned. “It’s just…”

“Darren’s never been with a mare before,” Gabe explained simply. For once, Gabe’s tendency to speak out of turn had helped.

Amber turned to me with a questioning look, and I nodded, confirming Gabe’s reply. The mare’s eyes widened a little. “Ohhh, that makes sense then,” she laughed. “Well, rest assured, we don’t bite.”

Gabe turned to me and without missing a beat, said, “Yes, they do.”

“Gabe!” Amber weakly chastised. “Be nice.”

“Fine, fine.” He got up from the table and placed some money on the table. “Well, boys, Amber and I were actually planning on running a few errands today, and tomorrow we’re both going to visit her folks.” I couldn’t help but notice the trepidation in his words at that last part. I bit back the laugh in the back of my throat as he continued. “I’ll see you Wednesday.”

“Later,” called Alex, looking up from his paper. “Amber, it was nice meeting you. Hopefully we can all plan an actual get-together sometime.”

Amber gave a slight nod to us. “We’ll have to do that sooner rather than later. Take care, boys.”

I gave the two a wave as they made their way down the road towards their apartment. I couldn’t help but chuckle as Gabe’s hand rested on her neck as they disappeared within the busy lunch hour crowd.

“Heh, that’s cute,” I commented as I set aside my plate. “She seems nice.”

Alex laughed quietly and shook his head amusedly, “She has him wrapped around her hoof.”

“Oh, no kidding,” I agreed. “I can’t remember the last time Gabe actually went and met a girlfriend’s folks. What was it… sophomore year in high school?”

“Yeah, I think so.” Alex shrugged. “I wonder how Amber managed to get him to agree to that.”

“Maybe Gabe’s being serious this time? I mean… Equestria has mellowed him out a bit.” I pulled out my coin purse and laid down some bits for the meal. “So, what are your plans for the rest of the weekend?”

“Sugar and I are going to a small town south of here… Saddlebury, I think it’s called? There’s a local carnival there, and she goes there every year with her cousin Lemon Hearts and some friends. She asked if I wanted to go with.”

I smiled as Alex turned the page of his newspaper, doing his best to hide the slight reddening of his cheeks.

“That’s great,” I said with a grin. “Tell her I said ‘hi’, alright?”

Alex looked up. “Sure thing. You heading home, then?”

“Yeah, not much else I have planned for this weekend right now. Maybe I’ll got to the cinema and see one of the Equestrian movies.”

“Mm. Let me know if you see anything good to take Sugar too.” Alex frowned a bit, then added. “When I say good, I mean, ‘not a crappy romance comedy if you can help it’.”

“I’ll see if anything stands out for you, then,” I laughed as I got up from my seat and gave him a nod. “See you Wednesday, then?”

“Yep, later,” Alex said, returning to his paper.

With that, I made my way home. I couldn’t help but hum to myself, happy with the sudden change of luck.

End of Chapter Two

Author's Note

If there's anything missing here, blame it on the importing between Gdocs to Fimfic. I can spend hours scouring these, but I always seem to miss something, heh.

Anyway, here's chapter two, and thus the start of our protagonist's journey into Gentlemanly work. Should prove to be interesting, no?

Credit for helping me with looking this over and editing goes to Firesight, AJ Aficionado, and of course, Demon Eyes Laharl.