Chapters A Madman's Guide to Friendship
PROLOGUE
*Boom*
An echoing roar was sounded followed by a flash of light. Amazingly enough two dark figures started to appear from within
"How odd, it seems that, instead of dying, we've ended up teleporting to another place entirely"
"ummm, are you sure it was wise doctor? I mean you did say that your invention was suppose to be SAFE"
"just be quiet assistant, there ain't no going back now that we're here"
The figures appeared to be bipedal by nature, as they took in their surroundings they looked to each other. The one currently known as the others assistant looked at the other with fear in his eyes while instead of fear in the others eyes all the assistant could find was excitement.
"Um-m Doctor, I..don't like that you have that look in your eyes.." said the assistant knowing what it means made him all the more worried.
**********Hours Earlier**********
the assistant was practically running with two cups of coffee from the nearby starbucks.
"oh no! I'm late, Doctor Davey will have my head if i don't bring him his morning coffee" Assistant said in a panicing tone.
"Doctor, I'm here with your morning coffee!" yelled the assistant. A voice behind the assistant had startled him and he nearly dropped both cups of coffee, followed by a loud girlish yelp.
"you're getting better at your screaming like a girl routine Sean" said Davey.
"And.....your getting.....better....scaring..the living shit out of me" Sean answered hazily in between breaths as he tried to catch his increased heartrate.
"That's your punishment for coming in late" Davey said, grabbing the coffee presumed to be his from Sean.
After a while of silence Sean asked "so how is the project doing? you know, the one thats supposed to give us a seemingly unlimited amount of renewable energy" At this question, Davey gave a big smile to Sean.
"absolutely nothing" Davey excitedly exclaimed, but before Sean could ask more Davey continued "until...we add the power source in which case this will power our whole laboratory down here"
Sean then said "oh, like a power generator"
"no, it's supposed to....I hate you, I really do Sean" Then a meniacle smile adorned Davey's face as he stared Sean down and spoke,
"time to see if this SUPER generator will work with the added power source". Scared out of his wits all Sean could muster from his lips was "ok, sure whatever doctor". As this was said Davey was already heading over to a lever and was ready to pull it saying. "ok lets hope this doesn't blow up in our faces....again"
*****************************************
As Davey and Sean looked around they noticed that things seemed more saturated in colors and had lines around them. Then they both looked to eachother finally realizing that both their skin colors were more saturated and they had faint lines just around their bodies. As this was occuring Davey seemed not to care for the reasons as he tried to think of an explanation for what had happened to them. while Sean just cursed into the air until he ran out of breath, then cursed some more.
"SEAN, will you just shutup I'm trying to think here!" exclaimed Davey who immediately shot an evil expression towards Sean who now seemed to be calming down a little bit. Upon calming down Sean noticed they were in a forest of some kind, but the trees did not look like any he had seen, then it hit him to ask this.
"Doctor where are we?"
"if i had to guess...another dimension, if not, world that is"
Sean looked at Davey with panic starting to arise again in himself. "WHAT!" the lowly assistant began another panic attack much like the one he just had. To stop this Davey took one look at Sean and then kicked Sean in the knee just to shut him up.
"I SAID QUIT YER BITCHIN'!" Davey looked annoyed now more than anything else. As Davey said this Sean began to calm himself while at the same time exclaiming the one word expected "...OW"
"Let's go find us some shelter before nighfall, or at the very least, before you have another panic attack and become useless again"
Sean nodded and they both headed north, shortly after finding a cave which seemed abandoned. Upon further inspection they found it was a good place for them to, at the very least, spend the night in. After a night of uncomfortable sleeping and taking turns keeping watch as to make sure wandering wild animals did not intrude upon them, Sean awoke in a sleepy manor while Davey was up and excited to see what this new place had to offer for his insanity filled mind.
"well first things first i better gather materials for a compass, with any luck there is a town with at least some form of technology nearby" davey said.
"I guess that means i have to find the food and try not to get myself killed.....huh"
"yes, of course, you are my assistant afterall"
Hours had passed before Sean got back to the cave with a small amount of food and a cantine of water. As he walked in Davey just stood there saying "you look like crap Sean, was it that hard to get fruit?" Sean ignored Davey's comment as he just placed the food and cantine of water on the ground in a corner near them as he sat down.
"well, I was able to crudely fashion us a compass at the very least, with any luck we should be able to find a village or city nearby as it seams that the compass keeps pointing west" As Davey stated this Sean's expression of anger turned to that of suprise.
"so there's technology here?"
"yes but it is not very advanced as the compass can only barely follow it" Davey said "so we'll have to try and check it out tomorrow" after saying this Davey grabbed some of the food, practically wolfed it down in one bite and went to a corner to go to sleep.
"g'dnight Sean."
A Madman's Guide to Friendship
Chapter One; Meeting the Locals
It was roughly six am when Davey had awoken from his slumber. To his dismay it seems that this morning wasn't going to be a good one now that he has no main source of his morning 'energy' as he liked to call it. With a loud, and groggy yawn he stretched himself up and started to adjust his eyesight to the mornings bright shine. As Davey was preparing to leave the cave, he noticed his assistant Sean was still asleep, thinking of good fun Davey decided to grab a stick. Davey then, began poking Sean with it using a humorous and light tone to his voice, " hey.... you awake.. Sean. If you don't wake up i'll turn you into a guinepig" at this Sean suddenly jumped up from where he had taken refuge to 'pass out' for the night as his shift ended earlier. Suddenly as Sean was jumping up he had also screamed "OH GOD, NOT AGAIN Davey!" at this the mad doctor Davey gave a loud hollar of a laughing fit. After Davey had calmed down enough he slowly rose to his feet and spoke to Sean.
"Let's head out Sean it's time to find what little civillization is out here" he said "and YOU can find out if THEIR friendly".
"Why me..." Sean hazily asked trying to regain his senses of sight after he had almost instinctively got up not seconds ago.
After a short, and quick, packing of what materials they had spread out for their 'wonderful' night of sleep in a cave they had all but set out for their adventure into the unknown forest towards a single direction that had a possibility of 'civilization'. After a few minutes of walking Davey stopped as there was a rustle in the nearby bushes. Sean didn't notice this but noticed that Davey had stopped and stared off into the direction.
"what is it doc?"
"it's your mother" Davey said this then continued before Sean can protest or make a response to his 'Wise-Ass' attitude "I think somethings in that bush Sean go check it out". Sean decided not to argue on the matters of Daveys comment and went ahead to check what was rustling in the bush.
Sean prepared himself for what he thought would be the worst but instead got a small rabbit chewing on a carrot. "hah!" Sean laughed as his paranoia and worry quickly started to dissipate. As Sean was just about to turn to let Davey know it wasn't anything to worry about he heard a small whisper-like call. "Angel w..where'd you go?"
After about thirty minutes of heading in the mares direction, Davey realized that they were heading where they wanted to go and shrugged off the thought that the town would be inhabited by ponies thinking 'absured' and 'impossible'. It was now mid-day and the town was in sight, as Sean and Davey headed there, they quickly thought of how the locals would react to two 'alien-like' beings suddenly apearing in town. As Davey was thinking more deeply into this Sean decided to pick up the pace and was now jogging towards the town when a loud 'BOOM' was heard through the skies. Suddenly a cyan blur was heading in their direction faster than a bullet and before Davey and Sean could register what was about to happen they heard a "look out!" and then a 'Thud'. "sorry abou-" the cyan blur now visible as a pony stopped mid-sentence and looked at the two humans quizzically. "what the heck are you two, bald apes?" the cyan pony asked.
"Humans, miss pony" said Sean with a now confused look about him. Davey just stood there in deep thought with an 'evil' smile coming over him.
"a Hu-a what?" asked the cyan pony still as dumbfounded as one could think possible.
"a Human, a bipedal homo sapien sapien" said Davey almost, if not, matter of factly.
"oh....., well.. i'm Rainbow Dash! nice to...um meet you..heheh." Rainbow Dash said this nervously wondering still 'what in the hay are those two'.
"well its a pleasure to meet your aquantance Rainbow Dash." Davey cautiously walked up to rainbow and raised a hand signifying a hand/hoof shake. Acknowlaging this Rainbow gave Davey a good hand/hoof shake as her expression became more cheery. The three started chatting as they went to town casually talking of 'non important to the plot' things such as where Davey and Sean were and other things like a place to stay. Ten minutes passed by as they had started passing through town gaining alot of attention, a few frantic, if not annoying, yelps from some of the ponies around them. As well as confused, dumbfounded, and fearful gazes.
"ah! so were in the country your people have named Equestria! intrigueing" Said Davey in a most interested tone.
"yeah, so, what are you doing in Equestria anyway?" asked Rainbow Dash curiously. But before Davey or Sean could answer, a pink blue from nowhere appeared and very nearly smacked right into the two men. Just as this occurred they heard a, quite literally, WALL of words from the pink blur now a quite sweet smelling pony.
"OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHYOURNEWARN'tYOUCAUSEIKNOWEVERYONEHEREANDIFIDON'TKNOWYOUTHATMEANSYOURKNEWANDIHAVETOTHROWYOUAPARTYAND-"
"Pinkie calm down and talk slower, this is Sean and Davey, Sean and Davey, Pinky Pie"
"hello Miss Pie, it is a pleasure to meet you, i'm Davey and this is my assistant Sean"
But before another word was muttered both of them felt a quick vibration as their hands were violently shaken by pinkie and the pink pony exclaimed "See you next week!" before dashing off as a blur again into an unknown direction.
"Um-you said something about meeting your other friends am I correct?" Sean asked with a grin on his face from laughing.
"yeah but most of them are in canterlot so we'll have to meet them later" Rainbow Dash said. "canterlot is the mane capital of Equestria and houses both of our princesses which i started telling you about."
"right well, we'll have time to meet them when they get back then I guess, so who are we meeting next?" Davey asked.
"Right, next we're going to see Fluttershy since she probably has a few extra rooms you two can live in." Rainbow Dash said obviously pondering of whether or not Fluttershy would be 'OK' meeting them.
"hmmm, well then, lets go meet this Flittershoo" Davey said half deep in thought.
"Not Flittershoo, FlutterShy" Rainbow responded with a look of annoyance.
"right, FlyingPie" Davey continued in his thought bubble oblivious to Dash's annoyed look.
"I SAID, FLUTTER-SHY!" Dash exclaimed, it was loud enough to wake the dead. Now losing track of his thought he had, Davey said "sorry, I got it wrong i'll remember its FlutterShy when we go to greet this pony"
Authors Notes: so what do you think? i will be posting every Saturday and or Sunday .
A Madman's Guide to Friendship
Authors Notes: hey guys here's chapter 2. i apologize that its shorter than it should i procrastinate too much some times. Anyway without further distractions here is chapter 2.
Chapter Two; Fluttershy's House
It was around noon as they started on their way to the outskirts of town to the forest both the mad doctor and the lowly assistant just came from. As the three left town they recieved constant glares and fearing looks from other ponies around us as they went along with their daily lives. There was a long and very boring conversation as both Sean and the mad doctor answered each and every one as they zoomed by as best as possible. Each question flew by almost as fast as the first. As these kept coming the curious assistant took the opportunity of Dash's pauses to ask "so what is this fluttershy like? and what does she look like anyway?". At this rainbow stopped and stared at the lowly assistant as she started to speak, "well fluttershy is timid, soft voiced, and the nicest pony in equestria!" then rainbow got into details "she's a yellow pegasai with a pink mane, she is very good with animals and-". The cyan pegasai noticed both Davey and Sean had stopped in there tracks with a sort of 'This won't bode well' face to them. Still oblivious to this fact Rainbow begged the question
"so.... what's wrong guys you look like you've seen a ghost". The mad doctor was the first to regain his composure as he carefully mentioned,"well" davey coughed a few times nervously before continuing, "I believe we.. sort of.. met her while attempting to get out of the forest". Dash's jaw literally dropped a little bit at this notion. The three continued in silence for what seemed like hours awkwardly in a state of nerve racking circumstances. Then Rainbow broke the ice with a few words "looks like we're here" Rainbow started to pick up the pace as she turned to Davey and Sean and said "I'll go in first to make sure she doesn't freak out a.... second time at you".
"that sounds like a good idea" Sean responded, but Rainbow Dash had already started to speed ahead and was out of earshot by now.
"so, doctor any thoughts about how well this will turn out"
"I would say not so well assistant, not so well"
They walked the rest of the way in silence and came upon a cabin-like house in the woods. The house had lots of animals scurrying this way and that and you can tell that Rainbow Dash was still 'convincing' fluttershy that both of them were nice and wouldn't harm her. Both Sean and Davey looked to eachother and decided to silently wait for the both of them to finish their chat. This was not a good idea as they both soon realized when a small and, familiar rabit came up behind them and gave them the 'evil-eye' before pushing them both at the door. both the mad doctor and the lowly assistant fell towards the door as it opened followed by a quiet-ish squeek and a loud 'thump'. Before either of the two gentlemen could speak they heard that quiet-ish squeek again as they saw fluttershy turn and run for a piece of furniture attempting to hide behind it. Davey managed to muster the words "dammnit angel" before getting to his feet and spotting a Cyan colored pegasai with a disapointed look on her face. "um... sorry, it was an accident" was all he could say before the room became silent. Rainbow Dash was the first to break the silence as she went over to fluttershy and whispered a few things into her ear which made her almost jump up, she then shyly went over to Davey and Sean and attempted to greet both of them, which ended in mumbles.
"i'm sorry what was that?" asked Davey
"hi my na....."
"i'm terribly sorry one more time"
"hi my names fluttershy its nice to meet you" fluttershy was obviously uncomfortable and was shaking a little bit as she was saying this. Sean tried to calm her nerves when he spoke "sorry about..earlier today, we were sorta looking for the nearest town and it just so happened to be in the direction you ran off to". Still with her head down she said "it's ok, everyone makes mistakes... I guess". Davey then decided to respond "no it was our fault really don't worry about it" this got fluttershy to immediatly raise her head as she said almost instinctively "oh no no no its not your fault it was mine because It suprised me when i first saw you both that i panicked". This surprised both Davey and Sean who nearly dislocated their jaws in suprise by her willingness to take the blame in such situations. Then Dash attempted to change the subject as she quickly asked
"so would it be fine if they stayed fluttershy? They don't exactly seem dangerous even by their looks".
fluttershy giggled a little bit at this as she said "it would be fine as long as they don't mind me asking them questions they seem more interesting now that i have a good look at them." the pink mare flew in a shy manor as she said "follow me and i'll show you the guest room". After a long, long night of questions about humans and just about everything about them they went to bed for the night.
A Madman's Guide to Friendship
Chapter Three; Morning pain
It was still early morning when the Timid and lowly assistant awoke suddenly to a crashing sound in the kitchen. "what in gods name was that?" he muttered in a shocked suprise, still not what you'd call 'awake' yet. Sean wandered, stumbling over many pieces of furniture and random items spread across the floor until he crashed on the floor near enough to hear the conversation.
"I'm sorry Angel, I forgot your favourite food but can't you go one day wi-" there was a short silence by a few small 'thumps' to the ground as Sean tried to get closer.
"Oh.. um, but you can't keep eating the same thing forever Angel." as Sean got closer he peered over the corner to see Fluttershy pretty down and what looked like the disapointed white hare him and the mad doctor 'encountered' before they made it to town. As Sean noticed this the rabbit, Angel saw the lowly assistant and decided to throw his carrot at the man. Before Sean could react he got hit straight in the center of the face, causing him to fall back onto the floor exclaiming "Ouch!". This startled fluttershy as she finally noticed that Sean was there.
"Eep!" Fluttershy was shocked at the assistants sudden appearance in the room. Sean cursed breathlessly at Angel for doing that but decided to not say it out loud.
"So Fluttershy, is everything ok?" asked Sean. At this Fluttershy looked down a little bit hiding her face in her mane as she responded "well, i forgot to get Angel his favorite food at the market, and since he's so picky he refuses to eat just about anything else" Fluttershy sighed after she finished speaking.
"Well, why don't i go with you? you look like you'll need the company"
"o-oh umm.. ok if you don't mind i mean if you'd like," she said "I mean, if it's no trouble to you that is"
"I think it will be a good idea, I and the good doctor will have to make sure everyone knows us after all" after a short time longer of a mix of talking and silence they left for ponyville. Upon arriving Sean had immediately noticed the highly lacking amount of stares as the townsfolk seem to already be getting used to him. Though, now they were curious of him as he obviously noticed it, and overheard a whisper or two confirming this. Ignoring it they continued walking until reaching the town square where all the stalls were up and ready to serve whichever pony came by. They both walked, looking curiously for a stall which had sold the white rabbits favorite food. Since Sean had no idea of what the food in question was he just let Fluttershy look around for the stall in which sold Angel's food was located. After a while they had made there way to a stall which had a yellow pony with an orange mane, and three carrots as a cutie mark.
"hey Fluttershy what brings you back here so soon?"
"Oh-h well hello Carrot Top it seems I may have forgotten to buy Angel's favorite food on my last visit here"
"I figured as much, here it's on the house Fluttershy"
"Oh-h thank you very much for this carrot top I can't thank you enough"
"Anytime Fluttershy, so who's this fellow? Seems like he's one of what the rumors are about" carrot top asked almost directly to the assistant. "well, my name's Sean and it's a pleasure to meet you Miss Top" Sean said this hoping to sound respectful and cheerful attempting to hide the morning grogginess still on him.
"It's a small town Sean, if a rumor is started odds are it'll only take a few hours for the rest of the town to hear about it"
****************
Davey awoke in a rather distasteful mood because of the white hare's ruckus earlier with Sean.
"Damn, how can a slightly insane, mad genius get peace in a place like this?" he asked this questioningly. He started attempting to clean up the place in hopes of reasons he stopped caring to think of. By the time he finished and sat down Fluttershy and Sean came into the Cottage right as Angel decided to take another swing at angering Davey to pass the time while waiting for his food.
"Angel!" Fluttershy snapped a little still in a quiet-motherly tone. Just as well, she gave the white hare a look that could kill the devil where he just sat there looking guilty now. He stopped looking impatient and seemed almost like a completely different creature and it shocked both Davey and Sean at this sudden development, nearly wetting themselves as well in the process of watching what it was happening. Angel left the room to wait for Fluttershy to kindly get his food ready after whispering something in his ear which neither of the other two could hear. Fluttershy turned to the mad doctor and his lowly assistant and asked, "so would you like anything to eat? I mean, if your hungry that is"
"Yes, thank you Fluttershy" Said the Doctor, trying to be as polite and professional after the 'annoying' previous dealing was now over and done with.
Authors note: well after about 5 or so days of procrastinating i finally finished this chapter so tell me what you think? as always constructive criticism is wanted. EDIT: the proofreaders have now looked it over and had me edit most areas they thought most needed it.
Side Note: Finals this week are going to take up most of my time so expect a late chapter for now. wish me luck :)
A Madman's Guide to Friendship
Chapter 4; what luck
A/N: here's the unedited version of the chapter. I am leaving for vacation on the 10th and I should be back by the 23rd. The chapters will resume when I get back sorry if this is inconvenient for any of you.
The morning proved uneventful afterwards when a knock came to Fluttershy's door. Fluttershy nervously came to the door and before opening it asked who it was. The voice from behind the door said it was Pinkie Pie. After Fluttershy opened the door the pink mare saw the mad doctor and the lowly assistant. A quick gasp broke the sound of just about everything else as the pink blur from yesterday went faster than the road runner straight to Sean and Davey. Both of them looked almost awed enough to lose brain cells as the pink mare had started talking.
"Hey it's you two again, what are you up to? How are you liking Ponyville? Ooh, I haven't shown you to everypony yet! But they at least know who you are now!" Pinkie Pie somehow managed to say this all in one breath as Davey and Sean were again in awe at the pink mares speedy talk and how it was faster than she ran. Again once Pinkie had attempted the take a breath between paragraphs, a hoof came up to her face signaling her to stop talking. It seems Rainbow Dash came with Pinkie, "Pinkie can you please be quiet for a minute I need to talk to them?" Pinkie shook her head so violently up and down that everyone in view thought her head was going to fly off and hit someone. "Ok guys so how are you doing fitting in so far?"
"well it seems alright, nothing more than a few stares I guess" Sean said casually.
"that's alot better then I expected" Rainbow sighed in relief "we should-" There was a loud roar sound from nearby the cottage which caused the lowly assistant and the mad doctor to nearly fall at the sound. Fluttershy ran and hid behind the nearest piece of furnature and started cowering in fear. As though it was obvious pinkie just stood there seemingly unphased by the sound and Rainbow Dash seemed ready to charge at whatever it was that made the noise. The roars were getting closer and closer as the cyan pegasi decided to go outside and tensed her muscles ready for a fight. Davey and Sean followed close behind, Davey with a very dark and insane smile plastured across his face and Sean nervously shaking but ready nonetheless behind Davey and Rainbow. Suddenly the roars stopped and it was quiet again, Davey cautiously walked towards the area the roars stopped at when a claw came from nowhere and flung itself in the direction of Davey. Davey attempted to dodge the sudden attack but failed and got a large gash on his right lower leg. As this was happening Rainbow suddenly charged at the owner of the claw at top speed, this resulted in a loud roar of pain from the beast which fell back a short few seconds before getting up again. This time Rainbow attempted the same thing which resulted in the large creature dodging the attack knocking the cyan pegasi back towards a nearby tree unconcious. Sean and Davey attempted to scare the beast off using whatever they could until they started backing it into a corner, at which the beast decided to swing its claw giving Davey a much smaller scratch to his left cheek. After a few minutes of being locked into a corner by the two Humans it gave up the fight and ran back to the forest.
Rainbow Dash started waking up with a pink pony trying to tend to the 'minor' injuries which covered the cyan pegasi when she fell unconcious. Rainbow jerked her head up to see Fluttershy and Sean getting the badly injured madman up to his feet as they tried to take him to the hospital. Though he refused stubbornly he had no choice as his leg had a clearly visible bone showing through poor makeshift wrappings of his own shirt. Rainbow got up only to realize she had sprained her right hoof and nearly fell back down trying to stand on it proclaiming "Ow!". Rainbow and the others went as quick as they could to the local hospital which they found to be quite a distance from where they were. After arriving a few doctors came by and helped the mad doctor to the ER for most likely immediate surgery or stitchings that may be needed. Rainbow was taken to a room to have herself scanned for broken bones. Sean was also taken into a hospital room to get his injuries checked out but nothing seemed as serious as Davey's leg injury.
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The next morning Davey awoke to around six mares, a small dragon, and a very worried human by his bedside. As Davey awoke he heard the whispering of all the mares in the room, he almost immediatly screamed when he awoke as he still felt a twinge of sudden pain when the small dragon accidentally tapped his casting which was stained a very dark red from the day previous.
"Hey, Davey's waking up!" the human standing at the mad doctors bedside nearly screamed this as he seemed really happy or relieved about this.
"Yeah I ain't dead yet Sean, and I sure as hell wont die anytime soon" Davey said this with a bit of pain which still lingered from the wound inside the cast. One of the mares, a bright purple pony, spoke next "h-hello my name is Twilight Sparkle, and this is my number one assistant, spike, it's a pleasure to meet y-you" she stumbled the words out sounding more nervous than she had intended. She was curious as she refused to stop staring at every detail of the madman. There was an odd silence among the group as none of them knew what to say next. Davey broke the silence "Well it's a pleasure to meet your aquaintance Miss Sparkle" he said this with a warm smile on his face, though in hindsight it probably looked similar to a madmans expression of delight. The group cringed a tiny bit at the sight of Daveys 'failed' attempted at a smile and the lowly assistant couldn't help a light chuckle. The tension seemed to thicken to a point where you could grab a knife and cut a piece out of the air until the white mare spoke next. This pony sounded more formal and elegant, almost stuck up "Hello Darling, it is nice to meet you, I am Rarity". Things seemed a little less tense as next the orange pony spoke with a southern accent to her accent "why howdy Mister Davey, i'm Applejack".
"greetings to you Miss Rarity, Miss Applejack" Davey said this trying to sound proper but even still he sounded disrespectful while speaking. A few minutes of talking had occured as the three new ponies and one 'baby' dragon, as twilight had claimed him to be, attempted to ask him and Sean questions trying to make high or low of everything about the two. It seems after a few questions passed Davey was suprised at the new things he learned, how the thing he fought turned out to be what they called a 'Manticore', and how it seemed to of accidently wandered to Fluttershy's cabin because of a cockatrice scaring it. Davey thought only one simple word to describe his feeling about what had occured 'Dafuq?!' .
A Madman's Guide to Friendship
Chapter 5; Ha Ha so funny!
The next few hours were spent attempting to make Davey comprehend what it was that had happened. His only responses were "what?", "huh?", and "how the fuck?".
Eventually he gave up trying to figure it out and went along with it. After that, things started going ok again. Things seemed to be on a happier note. Then Pinkie came out of nowhere and fired the party cannon. The initial shot caused the mad doctor a jolt of surprise causing him to fall off the bed the doctors had put him in.
There was a short silence before Davey got up and turned to Pinkie calmly asking her where she 'aquired' a party cannon.
In a short and quick explanation, Pinkie replied "oh! why I got this party cannon from the S.S. Partyboat!" she giggled a little bit before the cannon disapeared in a puff of smoke.
Davey decided it smart not to further question the laws of physics revolving around the pink mare, and decided to go with it before his brain broke from the mare's silly behavior.
Now that his head was cleared, Davey decided to curse silently about the manticore and its annoying appendeges which nearly killed the mad doctor.
After making his silent curses and 'black magic' prayers towards the manticore he looked around the room to see everyone staring at him.
"What are you all looking at?" Once he said this, everyone made a bit too much effort in avoiding eye contact, each holding sheepish smiles. This made the madman a tad annoyed and before he could continue and question them further.
Sean spoke up "Davey, you got hurt pretty bad, you might have to stay in the hospital for-"
The lowly assistant was cut off by Davey who loudly asked "No! just fucking No! you know how I don't get along with anyone in the medical field Sean! Just... No!"
Taking the opening between Davey's breathing and freaking out, Sean continued "for a few days before they let you out! And I know how bad it can be, so I 'informed' them ahead of time so you don't end up on the streets butt naked again!"
Everyone switched gazes between Sean and Davey, giving them both disconcerting looks as to what exactly they were talking about. Though, at this time, Spike decided to try and stifle a
It worked swimmingly, and spike broke out laughing at the pink mares shenanigans with Pinkie soon following in the giggles.
Ignoring the two, the madman tried ever so hard to get off of the bed and make a break for it. This lead to him stepping on a
Davey attempted to get up when he realized what he landed on was purple and had a few stars on it. Realizing what he had landed on, he quickly got back into his bed with a now blushing Twilight, laughing cyan pegasus, purple dragon, and pink party
Awkward silence loomed over them for a while as the madman looked around at the others, seeing different expressions on their faces (the ones he could see anyway.) Anything from sheepish smiles to smirking faces, to a deep red blush by Twilight. Davey couldn't help it and laughed very hard at how she could be blushisng so hard.
Twilight, of course, changed her expression from awkward to angry at the madman, causing him to stop his laughter immediately.
The purple colored unicorn only stared daggers at the madman who almost instinctively apologized with every fiber of his being.
"I'm so so so so so sorry for being so insensitive! I should'nt have laughed at the accident I had caused, and-"
Then Davey saw Twilight just burst into laughter repeatedly saying between breaths: "I can't.....can't believe.....you thought I was.....bahahaha! SERIOUS".
At this new development, everyone started to bust into laughter at Davey's dumbfounded look. The pony's, humans, and very small baby dragon all talked for- "Hey who you calling small buster!"
"Ooh ooh, I know I know! It's the author!" blurted a pink impossibility on equestria, while bouncing up and down on her rear.
Everyone (including Spike) gave the pink seizure waiting to happen a look that said "It's just Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie."
The group in the hospital room spent the rest of the visiting hours switching from one subject to the next as they made small talk. Eventually the time came for the visitors to leave and one after one, the the ponies, human, and dragon shuffled out of the room.
Before leaving, Twilight mentioned something about meeting their princess Celestia and maybe even Luna. At this he just shrugged
To which the purple mare responded "we haven't tried to kill you yet have we?"
Davey just shut up after a quick reply "you may have a point there".
After everyone had left, the nurse's came by to give the madman his dinner for the night and leave him to his own devices. After he ate he decided to rest, not noticing a pair of manacing eyes in a shadowed corner of the room just staring at his..... hands?!
A/N: Hey guys! big thanks to my new editor Nobrains who not only looked over the chapter but also gave me ideas which led to this chapter and maybe more to come! sorry about this chapter being shorter than the rest but the chapter's should get longer (eventually) so look forward to that.
A Madman's Guide to Friendship
Chapter 6;Green and funny
It had been four days since Davey had been put in the hospital. He despised the staff almost immediatley after a nurse accidentally gave him a fork for his morning 'hospital goop,' causing him annoyance. Each of the days he was visited by one or two of the group that had visited previously, and ended up having a lengthy chat for most of the day, giving the madman a slightly easier time in the medical place he called 'purgatory.'
Davey was scheduled to be released tomorrow, this brought a giant and very stupid grin to his face. His face went from a stupid grin to a very bothered frown as he realized no one had stopped by to by to talk with him in the appalling hell that was this hospital.
Davey muttered to himself "*grumble* *grumble* stupid *grumble* not coming or something...". Just as the madman started to mumble inaudible and insociable curses, a knock came to the door, slowly followed by a nurse informing Davey he had a visitor. Davey was about to crack a smile when a green unicorn came in with a creepy, stalker-like look to his/her face.
Davey couldn't tell the difference of the pony's genders yet so he had to wait for him/her to talk first before him. To his suprise, the pony didn't seem a whole lot interested in his entire self as much as his hands. She mumbled a hello as the nurse left with a barely noticable smirk to her face, obviously holding back a laugh. Davey and the yet to be named green mare sat or stood in silence for quite a while as the green unicorn seemed to be enthralled by his hands.
The madman tested this theory as he lifted his right hand and waved it side to side, and up and down. He chuckled to himself when he noticed she followed every movement of the hand, and when he stopped she suddenly squeeled with a sort of giddiness which confused him greatly.
Though he couldn't place it, he still had shivers down his spine. Davey decided a bit more testing was in order to find out just how far the fascination with his hands could go. The madman arose from his springy bed of morning sores and walked around the room waving and flexing his hands and fingers rapidly and slowly moving each. The green unicorn kept following them as if her life depended on those hands.
These shenanigans lead to Davey testing how mesmerized she was by stretching both hands in opposite directions, his right hand going down towards his feet and the other stretching to his far left. The madman was on the floor laughing at how the unicorn went crosseyed, one eye following each hand. After a long while of laughing, he got up realizing the unicorn had an angry expression on her face.
"What...what did I do?" He asked.
"Quit teasing me already! I'm trying to be serious here!"
"Right.." Davey said rolling his eyes in the process.
"Lyra..."
"Huh?"
"My name is Lyra." The green unicorn huffed, still angry.
The mad doctor awkwardly responded "Um....hi" the room went deafeningly silent for several moments.
Lyra's request fell on deaf ears as Davey decided to further test her oddness and wiggled his fingers and moved his hands around willy nilly. This caused the unicorn to start spinning around in circles in confusion. Right before Lyra had had enough The door opened again and Twilight could be heard trotting in.
Everything seemed to freeze as Twilight stood there, slack jawed at witnessing Lyra suddenly drop to the floor faster then you can say 'oops'.
"What happened?!?" Twilight yelled frantically.
"Why are you looking at me?! It's not my fault she passed out!" Davey said frantically lying through his teeth.
Twilight responded skeptically "riiiight.." The purple mare called for a nurse to come get her. After the nurse had left dragging an unconscious Lyra on her back Twilight asked "So you met Lyra, it looks like."
"So it seems." the madman said, a shudder involuntarily making its way up his spine.
"Come on, she isn't all that bad. Well... okay. So she is all that bad, but it's YOUR fault for teasing her!"
Both stood in silence as they didn't know what to say next to one another. Unbeknownst to them Lyra had woken up and returned to the room while they stared each other down wondering what to say next.
"What'd I miss?" Lyra asked curiously.
"AAHHHH!" both Twilight and Davey had screamed and jumped what must have been five whole feet in the air before calming down.
"I didn't know a unicorn could do that!" Lyra laughed.
"Do what?" asked the purple mare as she attempted to catch her breath.
"Fly that high!" said the aqua mare before busting up laughing. Twilight gave Lyra a death stare that would make a professional killer squeal with glee. It seemed as though the world cracked in half at what had happened next, it was so fast no one had time to react.
In one swift motion, a pink hue enveloped the room and shrank down into a overly hyper Pinkie Pie whom bounced rapidly up and down at the news she heard.
"GuessWhatGuessWhatGuessWhatGUESSWHAT!" Hollered the pink party pony, whom refused to cease her bouncing of the gluttonous maximus.
"WHAT!?" The group of two ponies and the mad doctor yelled in unison.
"Davey Wavey gets released from the hospital tomorrow!" She paused, freezing in mid bounce. " 'gasp!' That leaves me a WHOLE DAY to plan for your party!" Before anyone could question the pink impossibility, she had already disappeared, 'supposedly' already in the works of her party.
A Madman's Guide to Friendship
Chapter 7; Party time
The rest of the day went by quickly after Lyra had left, Twilight and Davey got into a debate about him meeting with the princess'. After a while, Davey had to give in to Twilight's demands. All that was left was to ready himself for a Pinkie Pie party.
The next morning, the madman arose and found his food already waiting for him. Guessing it was probably just after nine he decided to fight the urge to vomit at the inedible delicacy. How they could call the sludge they served at the hospitals 'food' was what baffled Davey. The clock ticked by as shortly after twelve, a nurse came by with his lunch and informed him he must sign out after he's done. The madman just grunted in reply and the mare sighed and rolled her eyes before taking her leave.
After finishing his 'meal', Davey got up and got himself ready to leave. Of course he had remembered as soon as he got up that his clothes had been left next to his bed. Getting ready quickly, he double checked to make sure everything was accounted for. And when there wasn't something accounted for, he would just blame Sean anyway so long as it had little importance.
The madman decided to lazily prance over to the reception desk. This gained him a few stares from the hospital staff and current residents.
Without even glancing upwards the receptionist handed him a clipboard and a pen and said "Sign here for release"
"Uh, how did you-"
"Just sign it and go." The receptionist said flatly.
"Alright, sheesh. I was just trying to say somethi-"
"Just sign it sir." the receptionist replied, looking up for a quick second to glare at him.
Davey caved and instead of arguing with the receptionist, he just grumbled, went to sit down, and filled out the paperwork. After finishing the paperwork, the madman glanced upwards to meet the sight of Sean walking in. "Hey assistant."
"Will you stop calling me that. I’m not your assistant again until we either get a new lab, or we get back and repair whats left of the old lab. And that isn't anytime soon I’d say."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah.." Davey halfheartedly responded while waving his hand at Sean for emphasis. Before Sean could continue to argue with Davey, he had already gotten up and headed to the front desk to give the receptionist the paper.
"Thank you. Happy to have your business. Please don't come again." Said the receptionist, taking the clipboard and giving Davey another glare. Ignoring it, he and the timid assistant left for Twilight's home.
After a long while of walking, Davey noticed something was off. The streets were nearly empty. "So why's it such a ghost town today?" Davey asked absentmindedly.
"You'll see."
Both of them stopped at what Davey guessed to be the town library, it was dark, and appeared to be devoid of life.
"I think it's closed assistant-"
"Stop calling me that, and come on." Sean said with annoyed grunt as he pushed the door open slowly. Before the madman could protest, Sean shoved him in and with an 'oof', He found himself on the floor of the library. Getting up, he found that the door had been closed and he was now standing in pitch black.
"Sean I’m gonna-" Davey started, but was cut off by blinding lights, the sound of a cannon going off, and a loud "Surprise!" coming from just about all directions. Davey fell backwards faster than Pinkie could ever manage. This lead to a quick result of cracks and him falling through the floor with an 'oof'. Gasps filled the room as Sean just stood there peering into the hole. He then decided to yell "You okay there, crazy?". This was answered by a groan and what Sean could only assume was a middle finger.
After awhile of stumbling, Davey managed to get out of Twilight's basement, groaning and bumping into things all the while. Once they were sure the madman was fine, they decided to start the party.
As the Music started , Davey felt a headache forming. He did not enjoy the type of music very much, and he attempted to drown it out with a drink from the snack table. After roughly five minutes of the madman avoiding and swerving out of other ponies' paths, he managed to finally make it over to the table of snacks.
Upon arriving, the madman saw some sort of white ball on the table. He gave it a second glance, which led to further confusion. The white ball had a strange hat that resembled a military helmet with camouflage. He was dumbstruck at the thought that somepony would put a helmet on a white ball of fuzz.
'Wait......White ball of fuzz?.......oh shi-' That's how far his thought process went, as he suddenly realized what the ball of fuzz was. But by then it was too late as it was finally revealed to be a bunny whom promptly kicked the bowl of half full punch at Davey, covering him head to toe in the sweet nectar.
Once this had occurred, the music came to an abrupt end with a scratching noise. Everyone stared at the two for at least three minutes. Davey just stood there glaring at the bunny, he pulled his sleeves up, all calm and collect like. He showed no hint of what his thoughts were as he turned to the far side of the table where some of the pastries were at. Once he got there he grabbed a cupcake, examined it thoroughly, and then turned around and smiled wickedly at the bunny.
Quickly the rabbit turned and made a mad dash for the far table when Davey gladly chucked the cupcake at the white demon. Angel barely avoided the sugary doom the cupcake was ready to give him by dropping down to the floor, kicking a table to block him like a shield, or rather a makeshift fortification.
Davey followed by making his own fortification with the other table as he grabbed all the pastries he could before avoiding Angel's pellets of sugar. The battle quickly escalated as sugary pastries and plastic cutlery was tossed from both sides, ponies everywhere made a mad dash for the door. This was a big mistake as they ended up blindly running into the fire and getting pelted by the sweet doom, causing them to either faint or feign death, leaving their tongues to loll out of their mouths comically.
After Fluttershy and Twilight's many, many attempts to stop the two, they decided it was best to hide behind cover and hope for the best. Fluttershy was already in her ball-like shell when they made it to cover and Twilight had her eye twitching already. Soon a third table appeared on its side facing the two opponents and a third pink party warrior came from behind it screaming as she tossed cake at the two opponents.
When the cakes hit their targets', all three had stopped, the lights dimmed and spotlight was on Spike as he waddled over the the center of the battlefield. He was wearing some sort of penguin suit and had a microphone. He paused in the center and turned making a jaw dropping announcer voice .
"Tonight, we are going to witness the most anticipated match in the history of professional cake battles. From the sugary, demon of the world. Pastry fan's, arrrrrrrrrreeeee you reaaaaaaaadddddyyyy." Spike paused for dramatic effect. "Mares and Stallions, lllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeettttttttttsssssss get ready to ruuuuuuuummmmmmmmbbbblllleeee!"
A loud bell was heard and the opponents mercilessly tossed the delicious pastries at one another as the baby dragon stumbled back to his hiding spot. This continued for hours on end. None of the opposing sides let up, and soon the tables started to crack and bits of the tables started falling as holes opened up. The pink demon had far surpassed the other two fighters in skill of both precision and accuracy as both other opponents were covered in cake batter.
To the shock and relief of all whom had witnessed this battle and who could not escape during Spike's announcement, the fight stopped. All three fighters had run out of ammo. Of course this was thanks to a loud smacking sound that came from a fourth table that was overturned during the battle.
Behind this table lay a very happy and very bloated grey pegasi with bubbles as a cutie mark. She laid there with crumbs strewn about around her as she rubbed her belly and announced "That was some good muffins!" She then made an exasperated sigh as she made her way, wobbling towards the exit.
Once they were sure that there was no risk of a prolonged battle using improvised ammo, all the ponies made a mad dash for the exit a second time, this one gave them much better results. Once the ponies had all left, Twilight and Fluttershy emerged from their hiding places. Fluttershy gave Angel a look that said 'You're dead meat when we get home.' And had Sean, Davey, and Angel following in step.
As the door to the library shut, they heard Twilight's attempt at lecturing Pinkie Pie.
"I am very disappointed in you both, Angel for instigating your fight, and Davey I'm mad at you for not being the bigger person and walking away." Fluttershy huffed this as she scolded them.
Davey, being his crazy self, decided against his better judgment, to respond "Did you really think I would?" the madman sneered, thinking he had won.
"No, but you will still be punished all the same."
Having been defeated, the madman starts looking downtrodden and continues to trudge along behind the yellow butterball.
Once they arrived back at the cottage, Fluttershy finished scolding the two and decided their punishment. The cake covered warriors were made to sleep outside for the night without supper. After much whining from the madman and begging from Angel, Fluttershy and Sean went inside and left the two alone. Davey decided to express his distaste for the results by muttering inaudibly, or so he thought. Angel smacked Davey for whatever he had said and the madman responded by most kindly and graciously giving the white nightmare the bird.
A Madman's Guide to Friendship
Chapter 8; Royalty Shmoyalty
After waking from an uncomfortable night of sleeping out on the grass, the madman found himself in an awkward situation. He awoke to find that he was snuggled up to the rabbit which he despised the most. Before he could react though, he heard a slight and very soft giggle coming from behind him.
"I didn't think you two would warm up so quickly......that is...if you really did." the voice said from behind.
Davey said nothing but instead, jumped to his feet, dropping Angel unceremoniously on the ground.
"No....I mean yes....I mean what?" Davey used confusion.
"Huh?" it was super effective.
"Never mind. Lets just go and get ready, I don't think my sanity likes being around Angel all that much." little did the madman know that the white warrior awoke and went over to his knee from behind.
Angel used kick.
"OW! Sunova-" It was super effective.
Angel used punch.
"Let's just get out of here please." Davey begged to his yellow savior. Angel's attack was not effective.
"Alright, breakfast is waiting so go ahead and eat because we have a long trip ahead of us."
After an uneventful breakfast with the four, 'Aside from the madman and bunny staring holes into each other', They went to the train station to meet the others, and get ready to leave for Canterlot. The trip started out boring and expected, they got surprised looks from ponies around them, but none seemed too taken aback. After the group met up at the station, they all had gotten tickets and entered the train. Twenty minutes passed and the madman started to get bored, so he did what he did best.
He groaned: "How long 'til we get there??"
Twilight responded "Another half an hour, most likely." This gained another groan from the madman as he slumped in his seat.
Davey sat for what felt like hours when he spoke up once again. "Okay there is NO way it hasn't been an hour."
"It's only been ten minutes Davey. Seriously, calm down."
"But I don't want toooooooooo...." Davey groaned out the last word for emphasis.
"Davey, are you only capable of patience when in the field of science?" Sean asked entering into the small booth.
"Maybe......"
********************
The train had arrived on time at their destination. It was more crowded than usual for some reason. As the ponies got near the doors, what they saw they never expected; The madman stepped out of the small doorway, hitting it on the way out.
"Owmf" the madman tried to say through a duct tape covered mouth.
The rest filed out of the train easily. Sean ducked under the trains door as the last to leave. He looked around to see ponies not moving and just staring at him and Davey.
In a nervous tone he said: "Um, hi." Not a minute later, the ponies scrambled out of every exit there, screaming out that there were monsters.
"That could have gone better..." grumbled Sean.
"lmfts jst gt is ofer wif(let's just get this over with.)" Davey tried saying through the duct tape.
"Here let me help you. Hold still and I’ll get the duct tape off you; you've had enough for now." Rainbow said before ripping the duct tape off quickly. Davey yelped in surprise as the duct tape left a large red rectangle on his face.
Davey surprisingly didn't complain. He simply grumbled and muttered to himself as he rubbed his damaged face.
Afterward, they started to make their way to Canterlot castle. The rest of the town was not as jumpy as the ponies at the train station. This was due to the fact that all six of the girls were walking with them and came into view before the two humans. Though they didn't scream, the ponies did look either worried or nervous. Even a few guards had a look of shock on their faces from seeing the two for the first time.
No one dared to approach them as they made a fairly quick pace to the castle. Once they arrived, a few guards stopped them. This was quickly resolved when Twilight whispered something into the guards ears. Though the guards did let them all pass, they were still uneasy towards the two bipeds.
The group entered into the castle and into a large string of hallways that looked exactly the same. After minutes of twists and turns that Davey could debate about (he swore they had been wandering for hours), they made it to a big door that was watched by two guards. The door had a yin-yang like symbol on it, two unicorns with wings that were spinning around in it, one for the dark side and one for the light side.
Again, Twilight whispered something into both of the guard's ears. Once she finished whispering, the unicorn guards cautiously opened the door using magic, eying both Davey and Sean as they entered.
Once inside, the doors were shut and Davey looked around the room to see a white, extremely tall, winged unicorn. Before he could speak, the six ponies, Twilight and her friends, all bowed down to the winged unicorn. Sean did the same and the madman just shrugged and did the same.
"Rise." She began, "Hello, I am princess Celestia, and you two would be Sean and Davey, Yes?"
"Yes, I am Sean and this is Davey"
Davey just grunted and shrugged.
"I...see." She continued "Twilight, you and your friends may leave, I wish to speak to these two alone."
"Yes, princess." Twilight and her friends left the room for god knows where. As the door shut, Celestia's smile turns into a slight frown. The two looked to each other, both with worried expressions wondering what she will do or say.
"So, may you enlighten me as to why you two humans have come here."
Davey began. "Yes, well, this is what happened...."
********************
"And that's pretty much it." Davey had just finished spending the last few hours explaining the events that led them both to Equestria.
"So you both are victims of circumstance." Celestia sighed "Then would you both like to go home?"
Celestia looked to both of the humans with a smile. Both humans dropped their jaws when the princess said this. A way home? just like that?
"You may spend a few days here to think over this; I will have a way home ready for you if you so desire to leave."
A/N: Hey guys! one more chapter to go and then its a Epilogue!
A Madman's Guide to Friendship
Chapter 9; Is this really the end?
"Wait.....WHAT!? Just like that? We can go home?!" Davey yelled, his jaw practically dropping.
"Well, yes. The process IS quite painful, but we had this plan setup shortly after our last encounter with humans." Celestia explained.
"Well that makes things kind of anti-climactic; don't you think Sean?"
"Kind of." the assistant said in a drab tone.
"Wait....Painful?! So, wait, wait, wait. It's gonna hurt?" Davey asked.
"Well, what did you expect? The magic required is a form that is most painful." Celestia explained with a scrutinizing gaze. "You two may spend a day here in the castle to think of whether or not you wish to stay or go. In the meantime, I shall be here if you need me. The guards will show you to a guest room."
No sooner than Celestia had finished talking, a guard walked up and motioned for both the madman and the timid assistant to follow. They both conceded and left with the guard, but Davey still mumbled to himself about Celestia. After a while of criss-crossing, they had made their way to two doors at the end of a hallway, next to the doors was another, larger door which lead to a fancy dining room. The guard open the guest rooms and let the two in before telling them what they needed to know and promptly leaving.
Shortly afterwards, a maid came by and informed both that dinner was to start soon. Deciding how he hated royalty with a passion, Davey passed on the chance to sit at a dinner table with one or more.
Sean, on the other hand, had already accepted the invitation and was now talking to the madman to pass the time until dinner.
"So, since your not going to be...um, eating with everyone else, what will you be doing?" Sean asked.
"Probably something to bug the guards; maybe see if they are trained well enough to not react to me or not."
Sean's mouth gaped. "Seriously?"
“Yes, If you've got a problem with me having fun for once then you can just leave.”
"Maybe I just will.” Sean threatened.
“Do whatever you want, see if I care.”
Before their conversation could devolve further, the maid returned again to inform Sean that dinner was to start any minute now.
"We'll continue this conversation later, Davey."
**********P.O.V. Sean**********
I left lord crazy for dinner when the nice maid came back and let me know dinner was starting soon. Hopefully he isn't going to go through with what he said..... Knowing him though, he probably will.
I arrived and the guards at the front of the doors opened it, sending the doors swinging silently open. I saw that everyone else was sitting there, Princess Celestia and the others, all seven of them.
"Hello Sean. Where's Davey?" Twilight asked curiously.
I shrugged "He wont be joining us, he feels there's something more important to take his time up."
"And what would that be? Huh?" Rainbow asked in a loud and obnoxious manner, hitting her hoof to the table to accentuation her point.
"He feels that screwing with the local guards will amuse him. Five dollars says he ends up being under room arrest for doing it."
"Doll Hairs?" Twilight questioned, eyebrow cocked.
"Dollars are the main form of currency back home, well from where we lived; it was dollars and change."
"Oookaaaay..." Twilight said, clearly confused.
**********End P.O.V.**********
'Hee Hee! I can't believe I pissed them off!' Davey thought as he sprinted down a corridor and made a sharp left. Behind him, sounds of guards could be heard as they rushed after Davey.
"Come on! you have to be faster than that to catch me!" Davey yelled behind him as he laughed his mad laugh.
"Over that way!" One of the guards yelled. There were three guards now a little ways behind the madman, all hot in pursuit.
They chased him around for a good twenty minutes, the madman moved quickly down the coridoors left and right in a confusing pattern that would make Pinkies logic make sense.
After another good Ten minutes, the guards lost sight of Davey and had to stop and catch their breath.
**********
The group had just finished eating breakfast and left the dinning hall to go their separate ways. Celestia had her royal court and informed Sean that once they make their decision to meet her in the gardens after her royal duties are done for the day. Sean agree'd and left to go find Davey.
**********
Davey was surrounded by twelve guards who all looked annoyed and were covered in at least one item of randomness. Two guards were covered with glue and stuck together by their armor, another was covered in glue and feathers, and the rest were covered in some kind of syrupy water.
They were stopped by their guard captain before they could arrest the madman.
"Guards, what are you doing!? Get back to your posts on the double!"
"But sir, he-"
"I don't want to hear it." Shining growled, "Now go!"
"Yes Shining Armor, sir!" They shouted in unison before dashing off to wherever they were supposed to go.
Davey was about to say something when Shining spoke up "You shouldn't be messing with the guards." he said with an angry scowl, "That's my job." he was now chuckling and smiling towards the madman.
"But seriously.. Don't do it again." Shining finished the sentence and then left Davey before the madman could utter a word.
Davey decided to trudge back to his current room, disappointed in the realization that he would not be able to screw with the guards anymore.
**********
Sean looked around for Davey for a long while, traversing through corridor after corridor. When he'd finally given up looking for the madman, he saw the sun was setting. The timid assistant went back to his room and decided to check for Davey in the one place left, his room.
Opening the door he saw Davey pacing around the room lost in thought, index finger to his chin in contemplation.
Davey had yet to notice Sean's entrance into the room and so Sean contemplated on whether or not to snap the madman out of his thought bubble.
"Meh." Shrugging off the thought of letting the madman continue on his thought rampage, Sean went next to where Davey moved back and forth and coughed a few times.
"If the-Gwah!!! D-don't surprise me like t-that......Sean." Davey said as he attempted to catch his startled breath.
"Sorry."
"Now, what do you want?" Davey asked, sitting down on his bed.
"I came by so we can discuss whether or not we stay or go." Sean replied.
"I say go, we have a lab to rebuild and projects to work on and repair. This has been like a vacation, aside from the white demon."
Sean spent the next two hours telling Davey of everything the princess had told him about how they will be getting back. Once Davey understood it all, he sighed and said "We're still going back, no question about that."
Sean said his goodbye's and went to his room next door and went to sleep.
**********Hours Later**********
Davey couldn't sleep, he kept up an internal argument with himself. 'Well if we stay, then I get a chance at a social life. If I go, then I can continue working on those awesome machines. Maybe I can go bunny hunting too? Yeah, that's a great idea: hunting with my bare hands. Heheheh.' The madman chuckled to himself as he fought of the tendrils of slumber that tried to overtake him.
Hopping out of bed, the madman grabbed the nearest object that could be used as an annoyance and went off happily hopping with a little (somewhat sleepy) kick in his step.
Slowly, Davey opened his door a crack to see outside, the torches on the wall were all lit and the sound of hooves on stone were in the distance. He cautiously looked to his left, 'nothing', then to his right, 'nada', then above him. 'All clear, engage operation; annoy the fuck out of the night guards.'
Sneaking out, the madman made for the path left where he heard the sound of hooves. Carefully, he kept to the shadows, peering around the corners of the corridors to see if there were guards in view. After five minutes of this, he found two guards clad in dark purple armor. Noting these as the actual night guards, he carefull brought forth the object in which he picked up to annoy the guards: a bottle of shampoo. He skulked behind them as they went through their rounds, shampoo in hands, top open. Right before they made their next turn, the madman was right behind the guards and quickly squeezed the bottle spraying the shampoo all over the two who promptly screamed like little girls.
Both guards fell over on their flanks and spent the next ten minutes trying to stand up without sliding, within that time, Davey had gotten a fair distance from them, still close enough to hear their frustrations.
**********
Davey was laying in his bed and the guards were looking around for who had covered the vast majority of them in slippery shampoo. With a devious grin that would make the world records chart, the madman went into a very cheery sleep.
**********The Next Morning**********
The next morning, Sean and Davey met up with each other and left for the gardens to let Celestia know of their choice.
"Well, this is it." Davey said, putting his hands behind his head and stretching a bit more.
"I guess so." Sean replied, staring off into space.
Upon arriving at the gardens, both humans spotted Celestia relaxing and staring up at the sky.
"So I take it you have your answer?" She said, keeping her eyes up to the sky.
"Yes. We would like to......go home." Sean said nervously.
"Very well. The preparations will be made and you can go home after breakfast." she said in a neutral tone.
She quickly got to her hooves and left the madman and timid assistant in the gardens. The two stood there for a few minutes staring at the direction Celestia had disappeared to before coming to their senses and leaving for the dining room to have breakfast.
Breakfast was very boring; not a lot of talking was done and they all ate as a tense silence loomed over head . They made small talk every few minutes, but it never lasted long. After breakfast, Davey and Sean were escorted by a guard to the main hall where the princess and the mane six were waiting for them. The floor was decorated with symbols and diagrams of strange origins.
"Stand on the circles please." Celestia said pointing to the two circles in front of the two humans.
After stepping on, Celestia and Twilight's horns began to glow.
"Goodbye to you all! It was nice to meet you all... Except for that damned white devil!" Davey said with a wave and a smile.
"Goodbye. It was a lot of fun meeting you all." Sean said with just as big a smile and a more enthusiastic wave.
The floor started glowing and a small light started to form in between where Davey and Sean were standing. As the light started getting brighter, the outlines in the floor started to glow and grew brighter by the second. A final flash hit and the madman and his timid assistant disappeared, a bit of smoke coming up from where they both stood.
The end
A/N: That was the final chapter of this story! how did you guys like it? well, this is not the end there is an epilogue coming tomorrow to finish this off. hope you guys enjoyed the story!
A Madman's Guide to Friendship
Epilogue; A Madman's Guide to Happiness
It was warm and sunny in Venezuela. The birds were chirping and everything was upbeat; Roughly fifty miles east of La Paragua, a large ball of light flashed into existence for a brief second. After the light had passed, in its place were two humans: Davey and Sean, sweating and panting furiously, obviously exhausted and in pain.
"Did.....Did we make it?" Davey asked as he opened his eyes and got a good look at his surroundings.
"Yeah......Y-yeah we did." Sean managed to say as he caught his breath.
A little ways behind them, in the bushes just half a mile away, a lone figure with piercing yellow eyes stared intently upon them.
**********
'Krsh' "Delta two, do you have visual?" asked a voice coming from the figures radio.
"Roger on that command, I have the two missing subjects in my visual, over." Delta continued. "What are the orders command?"
'krsh' "Keep visual but do not engage; we need more info before we take them in."
"Roger that, Delta out."
**********
The madman and timid assistant started to traverse the unstable area they were standing on. They attempted to head west, but the unstable ground forced them north. After a little while of stumbling over rocks in silence, Davey decided to speak up.
"So, when we get back and rebuild the lab, we can start working on all the new inventions I came up with while we were gone."
"Seriously?! How many did you even think up while we were gone?"
"Roughly 746... Give or take a few, of course."
Sean sighed "You never change doctor. You never change"
After a few minutes, they came upon a dirt road that stretched from east to west. Upon looking east, they spotted a jeep coming in the distance, dust in its wake.
Davey decided it was a wise idea to wave his arms around like an idiot to get their attention while Sean simply stretched his arm outwards and put his thumb up. Once the jeep got close enough it stopped, there was a buff man driving the vehicle, his shirt torn and sleeveless. In the back of the jeep was a brunette woman with a look that could kill an Ursa Major. After a few seconds, the man turned to them and spoke up.
"Where to?" he asked in a rugged voice, devoid of feeling.
"Closest city. Would appreciate the ride." Davey said, standing motionless infront of the man.
The man looked to both of them, then to the woman in the back of the jeep, she shrugged and he turned back to the two.
"Hop in, closest city is an hours right ahead."
**********
Delta was just out of sight of them as they talked. He saw the two get into the truck and pulled out a gun, aimed it, and fired. A tracking device shot out of the gun and stuck itself to the vehicle.
The group of four drove off, the faint beeping of the tracker was drown out by the humming of the vehicle.
*The End*
A/N: Hey guys! just gonna say this now since most of you don't seem to follow my blog at all, This story has ended and a sequel will be written up and the danger has only just begun for Davey and Sean!i will start on the sequel once i knock down my other stories first on my list. Hope you guys liked this story
