Pinkie Pie Tells A Story

by dark ganymede

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, Main 6, Lyra, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Colgate, Spike, Bon-Bon, Adventure
Length: 3766

Pinkie tells a Pirate Tale

Twilight has her first book club meeting, and Pinkie gets to read a book for them. In her odd style of course.

Published 2012-06-05 19:24:03 UTC
Last updated 2012-06-05 19:24:03 UTC

Pinkie Pie Tells A Story

Rainbow Dash started hovering about the library anxiously. She and Twilight and Spike had been waiting for the past 10 minutes in silence, waiting for their guests to arrive.

"So you think they're going to show up?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"They should be here any minute now." Twilight said back.

Twilight looked around the insides of her home. She was rather excited for this day, it was going to be the first ever book club meeting between her and some friends. It wasn't just strictly friends though, Colgate and Berry Punch, and Lyra and Bon Bon too. Who would have thought they were such avid readers?

Regardless of who came, Twilight was ready for anything. She took all the precautions to avoid another fiasco like her sleep over. Fire extinguishers, antidotes, red and blue pills, she was ready to roll.

The door swung open, and Pinkie Pie made her presence known.

"Hey everypony!" She shouted.

She wasn't the only one to arrive, the rest of the newly founded group started trailing in after her.

Twilight shut the door, and huddled everypony into a circle. They each took a seat on the floor while Twilight gestured for Spike to come in.

He was wearing a custom made suit by Rarity, complete with a dashing black tie, and had his spikes slicked back.

"Hello everypony, and welcome to the first meeting of the book club." He looked at his palm and memorized his next set of lines.

"Before we get started we have a few rules about the club. Rule number one, you can talk about book club. In fact, we want to have as many ponies in the group as possible. Rule two, please respect the reader. Rule number three, always remember to bring your book."

"Ok everypony, now that we have the formalities over with, we can get started on the book." Twilight said.

Lyra and Berry Punch exchanged looks. "I thought you said it was a couples club?" Lyra asked. Berry Punch could only shrug in reply.

"Pinkie has chosen today's book, so she'll be reading as well." Twilight finished.

"Right!" She smiled. "Now I brought one of my favorite books, Pirates of Equestria!"

"Don't you think that is a little informal dear?" Rarity asked

"It's better then that sappy stuff you read." Rainbow Dash snickered.

"Hey! Respect the reader!" Fluttershy said. "Um, if you don't mind."

Rarity rolled her eyes. How she was going to manage reading through an entire book without love or romance seemed near impossible.

"Ahem," Pinkie Pie cleared her throat. "Pirates of Equestria. It was an average day for Captain Twilight Sparkle, a blubbering crew, violent seas, and treasure to find."

"Twilight you're in a book?" Spike asked aloud.

"No silly! I figured it would be more fun if I replaced the book's characters with you guys. That way you'll be more into the story!" The pink pony explained.

"Makes sense tah me." Applejack said.

"Now where was I..." Pinkie Pie said.

Out of all those things, treasure was what drove her to wake up in the morning. Soon she would have her lust.

"Captain! We need you on deck!"

So soon? She thought. As she put on her hat, Owlolicious flew from his cage and perched himself on her left shoulder. She looked around to see if anypony decided to mutiny and steal her loot. Satisfied nothing was missing, she trotted up to the deck.

"First matey Spike with an urgent message!" Spike was easily the least pirate like of the crew. He sported his usual blue striped bandana and matching shirt, as well as his baby phoenix and his head.

"Aye out with it!" Twilight grumbled.

"We are on course of course, and should be approaching crescent island soon."

"Excellent." She said.

Soon the lost treasure of Luna would be her's, and she would have her heart's desire come true.

"How far until we reach land?" She asked.

"Yarr! About three miles if we don't run into troubled waters." Applejack said from the bird's nest of the ship.

Twilight walked to the front of the large vessel, her prized Ocean Dweller. She was a mighty ship, having braved hundreds of battles and close encounters. From attacks by the Equestrian Empire, or the Great and Powerful Trixie and her crew, the ship stood strong.

"Ahoy Captain!" Pinkie Pie stood up. She was an excellent worker, but her attire was unusual. Pink and pink as she said. Her two favorite colors.

"The deck has been swabbed and brushed by to myself and Colgate."

"Really?" She said examining the wooden floors. Perhaps today would be one of her crew's better days.

"Berrry Punch, hic, reporting."

Every ship in the twelve seas had a drunkard, and Ocean Dweller was no exception to the rule.

"Aye, arr you drunk?" Twilight asked eying the obviously drunk mare.

"A wee bit cap'n." She snickered.

"Well since yer the tipsy one, you can watch the cannons bellow deck."

"Hic, aye aye captain."

"I can't hear you!" Twilight said.

"Aye aye Captain!" Berry Punch said.

"Oh! Captain," Fluttershy said from across the ship's deck.

"Speak up lass!" Twilight said.

"Rainbow Dash has a new leg!" She said. She was the only pony on the ship qualified to heal other ponies. How she managed being a pirate and a pure soul was beyond understanding.

"Have her come out here, I want to see it for myself! Twilight said.

Rainbow Dash walked out of the makeshift infirmary (which was just Spike's room) and trotted to center of the deck with her new peg leg, which was smooth and smelled of fresh pine trees.

"Not bad by my standards." The peg legged pony said.

"Of course, I crafted it after all." Bon Bon said from below the deck, as she kept a close eye on Berry Punch.

"Better a hoof than a wing." Colgate said.

"Ok, I know I'm breaking rule 34 or 63 by interrupting or whatever, but when is this going to get interesting?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Patience." Pinkie Pie said as she patted Rainbow Dash on the head.

The blue mare crossed her hooves and pouted.

"Aye, glad you're back in action." Twilight said.

"Incoming!" Applejack shouted, as a large cannon ball barreled past the ship, barely missing Owlolicious.

"Battle stations!" Spike shouted.

"Spike, go downstairs and light the canons! Colgate, on me for deflecting those shots with magic! Fluttershy Rainbow Dash, anypony tries to come near you send them off the plank! Pinkie Pie Applejack, steer and keep the course! We are not going anywhere but crescent island do you understand?"

Everypony scurried to their station without a word.

"You won't stop me this time Trixie." Twilight muttered, as she looked at the behemoth of a ship that faced them. It was blue, just like it's captain, and sparkled in the sunlight, but much like it's captain, it's bark is worse than its bite.

Spike began lighting fuses down below as Berry Punch and Bon Bon desperately took aim. Cannon balls began to fill the sky like hail, and ponies on both sides tried to find some sort of cover. Throughout this chaotic scene Applejack managed to steer the ship, while Captain Twilight's nerves of steel helped knock the deadly cannon balls of their intended paths.

Within several minutes, the Ocean Dweller's cannons had knocked several holes in Trixie's ship, and a white flag of surrender replaced the image of Trixie's face. Perhaps the victory was a bit too easy...

"The Great and Powerful Trixie surrenders, but would like to make it clear she did not give up because of the damage done to her ship."

Twilight looked at Lyra, she was rather puzzled. If it wasn't their attacks that caused the opposing crew to give up what was it?

At that moment one of Trixie's crewponies whispered in her ear, and the blue mare grinned devilishly.

"We offer you a gift in return, please accept it." Trixie said.

With a flash of light and a crack, a white mare appeared on the ship. She was quite fancy with her dress and was obviously from the empire, but what was a pony like this doing out to sea?

"The Great and Powerful Trixie no longer accepts her highness as a prisoner. Farewell!"

As the ship slipped off into the sunset Twilight looked at her new prisoner. Considering she was wearing jewels of a rather large size, it was easy to see how she was royalty.

"Hi there!" Pinkie Pie said as she sprang out to meet the new pony.

"Now listen here, I don't know what you ruffians want with me but you won't get it. I am the bride of Prince Blue Blood, and you are to return me at once." Rarity said as she stood up and did her best to clean her dress.

"Captain," Rainbow Dash said as she glided down, "Who in the hoof is this?"

Twilight glanced back at Rarity. "She's our royal prisoner. We'll keep her here for now but as soon as we find that island we head back to ransom her off. Keep her in the brig for now."

"The brig? Are you mad? I deserve the best room in Equestria, not some pirate hold up!" Rarity said.

"Well excuuuuse me princess, but you're coming with me." Rainbow Dash said as she grabbed the mare by her collar and dragged her to the brig.

As the stowaway's voice trailed off Twilight looked back out to sea. It wouldn't be long before she reached that glorious island.

"Cahptain! Crescent island is within sight!" Applejack said looking through her telescope.

"Aye! Pinkie do ye have the map of the island?" Twilight asked.

"Yup! Once we get there all we have to do is find that big 'ol X and start digging."

"Good. Applejack, how much farther?"

"We have about a mile and some sea pony territory to go."

Sea ponies...the scourge of pirates everywhere. They became notorious for their irritation skills, but feared for the damage they can do to a ship. All it takes is one of them to spot a ship, before it gets dragged down by thousands of lonely sea ponies and despite their friendly smiles and disposition, they were nothing but trouble.

"Hold fast Applejack. Colgate, help me with the shield."

With an 'Aye aye' her horn glowed, and the ship was enclosed in a blue bubble. Twilight raised her head and sent a beam of magic right at the shield, increasing it's strength two fold.

"Captain we have sea ponies approaching fast!" Bon Bon shouted.

"We'll be fine don't worry." Twilight reassured.

Below the deck and below the ship, deep down in the sea, the sea ponies were already swimming towards the glowing ship, and ramming into the shield. Twilight and her crew could feel the vibrations and knew it wouldn't last long.

"Come on..." She whispered.

The vibrations got more violent in nature, and the entire ship was surrounded. The once unnoticeable cracks grew larger along with the vibrations, and even Berry Punch had sobered up because of it.

"I see it!" Bon Bon shouted.

It was immense in size, and coated in a lush green and blue. The whole crew became lost in the beautiful sight, but were quickly reminded there were more important things at the moment.

"The shield might not hold Captain!" Fluttershy said.

"I know. Get Rainbow Dash and everypony else on this ship on the main deck now!" Twilight said.

Fluttershy flew about the ship, and rounded up everypony on the main deck.

"Everypony here?" Twilight.

"Yes. Um, what are we doing here again?" Fluttershy asked.

"Everypony, say goodbye to the Ocean Dweller." Twilight said.

"What? We can't just let it be destroyed!" Rainbow Dash shouted.

"As long as I'm captain it will be you hear?" She growled.

"Aye." Rainbow Dash replied.

"We'll warp to the island on my count, understand Colgate?" She nodded in return.

"Good. 3...2...1...now!"

With a flash of light the shield finally gave it's last, and the crew of the Ocean Dweller vanished. As they reappeared not to far away on the island, the ship began to collapse in on itself.

"Great. No ship and no rum." Berry Punch said.

"It could be worse," Spike said. "Nopony was hurt."

"Yes but the ship is gone! Do you get that?" Bon Bon shouted.

"Pinkie Pie do you have the map?" Twilight said with melancholy.

"Yup!" She said as she gave the map to Twilight.

"Ok," She looked around. "From this map and our surroundings we're just on the outside of the island. The treasure is at the island's core," She looked up at the sky and covered her eyes. "We should be able to find it by night, so let's start moving."

"Hey!"

An unfamiliar voice called out from behind them, and they all turned around. It was a sea pony, smiling in the water just before the beach.

"Sorry about wrecking your ship and everything." She said.

"Sorry? Why if I was still on that ship I would nail you to the mast!" Bon Bon said.

"I know you're upset, but if it helps I wasn't even there. I just saw it from a distance. In fact I'm not even part of the same tribe as them." She said.

"What do you mean?" Applejack asked.

"Well there are two main alliances in the sea pony community, the tru-niis and the mi-iites. I belong to the peaceful one."

"And?" Colgate said.

"I know you're looking for treasure here, and I know this island better then anypony else." She said.

"You're a sea pony, how in the hoof are you going to help." Bon Bon said.

She swam onto the sand, and everypony watched in awe as her fins and flippers turned into hoofs.

"My name is Lyra by the way."

"Well Lyra, lead the way." Twilight said.

"Really? You toss us a magic trick and expect us to follow you?" Rarity said.

"She's got a lot more to offer than you." Applejack said.

"I'm a sea pony?" Lyra said. "Can I be a human instead?"

"What's a human?" Colgate asked.

"Nothing nothing!" Bon Bon said.

Rarity scoffed, and the group marched behind the still wet "sea" pony.

As they ventured deeper into the island, the flora around them grew larger and larger. Small shrubs turned into mountainous trees, and single blades of grass became goliath like weeds.

"Are you sure we're going the right way?" Twilight asked, pushing aside a tuft of grass.

"Yes, the cave is just up ahead." Lyra said.

"Cave? There's no cave on the map." Pinkie Pie said.

Lyra laughed. "There are a lot of things not on the map. Do you think it would be that easy?" Berry Punch exchanged a look with Bon Bon.

"What else isn't there that we should know?" Berry Punch said.

"Aye." Bon Bon said.

"Well the island is mostly deserted, but the cave over yonder isn't." Lyra said."Nothing bad, just a few manticores."

"Yeah that's just great." Rainbow Dash said as she rolled her eyes.

After a few more paces, the group reached a clearing.

"Is this the entrance?" Twilight asked.

"Eeyup."

The voice came from a rather large earth pony, who stood before the cave's entrance. He had black armor, which somehow glowed in the light.

"Will you let us pass?" Lyra asked.

"Nnope."

A second guard in white walked out of the cave and stood before the ponies.

"If you want to get past us, you must answer this riddle correctly." The black guard said.

"Who has four legs and never dies, but loses life by moon rise?" The white guard asked.

"Luna?" Rarity asked.

"Correct." The two guards said simultaneously.

The stepped away and revealed the entrance to the cave.

"That riddle was to ease your nerves. The real challenge is inside." The black guard said. With a puff of black and white smoke the guard ponies vanished, and the barren entrance to the cave loomed before them.

Twilight drew her sword, and the rest of her crew followed suit.

"Wait! What will I have to defend myself?" Rarity asked.

"Just use magic." Lyra responded. "It works wonders for me."

"Unlike you sea ponies and pirates, we sophisticated ponies use magic as an art and a tool, not a weapon. That's what swords and daggers are for. And unless you want me to aid you in your venture I would suggest I am properly armed."

"Aye? Here," Rainbow Dash gave her a rather small dagger, rusted and full of dirt and decay. "Use this."

"I suppose it will do."

"Why do I get the small dagger?" Rarity asked. "I should at least have something a bit more fashionable."

"You know Rarity, for somepony who likes them romance stories, yer awful interested in this one." Applejack smirked.

Rarity blushed and started to stammer. "Well I, I just think my character should have something stronger that's all. I could care less about this story."

"Is she always a bad liar?" Colgate muttered.

"You have no idea." Rainbow Dash replied.

Twilight was the first to enter the cave, followed by Rarity, Spike, and everypony else. With a flash, Lyra illuminated the cave and every crack crevice and corridor was visible.

"Soo...where are those manticores?" Berry Punch asked.

"They're supposed to be here, I just don't know where." Lyra said as she glanced around the cave.

"There they are." Bon Bon said.

There were two statues, twice as big as the guards outside, of manticores. Beside each one was a lever and a door. Spike walked up to the statues and examined them carefully; after some deep thought he did conclude aloud to the group that they were indeed, statues. Nothing more and nothing less.

"Avast! We come to a standstill." Applejack said.

"Not quite. Both of these doors lead to the treasure according to the map. We could split up and take both doors." Pinkie Pie said.

"Alright then. Lyra, Bon Bon, Berry Punch, Applejack and Rarity, you take the right door. The rest of you will take the right one with me. Any funny business Miss Rarity and you go off the plank as soon as we get another." Twilight ordered.

"Aye captain! What do I do?" Spike asked.

"Ye watch if somepony or something tries to come in." Twilight said.

"Aye aye captain..." Spike said, sounding very dejected.

As the separate groups pulled the lever near the respective statue Spike started quivering with his phoenix.

"Guess it's just you and me now."

"Captain, how do you know when we find the treasure?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Aye, when we can hear the gold under our hoofs, and see the light reflect of off diamonds and rubies." Pinkie Pie said. "According to the map at least."

"Then we walk till we find it!" Twilight said.

"Okie doki loki!"

"Pinkie Pie, I don't think pirates were all okie dokey back then." Rainbow Dash said.

"Well I did, and since that pirate is me I'll say okie dokey all day long if I want too." Pinkie Pie said stubbornly as Rainbow Dash sighed.

"Applejaaaack we've been walking fooor hooooours, a royal mare like me isn't meant to travel without a carriage for so long." Rarity fell to the ground. "Carry me."

"Are you out of your mind?" Bon Bon asked.

"Aye." Applejack said. "Ahll be carrying ye. But don't get any ideas."

Rarity smiled with delight and jumped on the mare's back. The further the two groups traveled into the cave, the more and more tiring the trip became. Their morale was starting to vanish, and even Twilight was starting to consider that much gold wasn't worth the trip.

"Maybe, we should start heading back?" Rainbow Dash panted.

"Not yet, Pinkie how much further?" Twilight asked.

"In order to continue you must gather your party." Pinkie Pie said looking at the map.

"Gather our party...Spike! We need everyone in order to move on!" Lyra exclaimed.

With a flash of purple light, Spike and his phoenix appeared before their eyes. With a few more flashes of light, the rest of the Sea Dweller's crew and it's stoway were together. Within a few moments the cave filled with an incredulous light, and diamonds, sapphires, rubies every kind of gem, starting to rain from the inside of the cave. Gold began to materialize on the bottom the floor and everypony was knee deep in the precious metal.

"This is incredible!" Twilight said over the sound of the priceless rain. "When do you think it will stop?"

"It doesn't!" Lyra said with joy. "Isn't it beautiful?"

"We will suffocate if we stay here!" Rarity said.

"Then we'll just have to make a whole in the cave." Berry Punch said. "Like a bottle of rum. The cave will empty and we'll have all the gems as well!"

Twilight, Lyra, and Colgate focused their magic and tore open the cave with a concentrated spell. They waded over to the hole and rode the incoming wave of gold and jewels out.

The flow continued, until it filled up the island, as well as the next mile of the Sea.

Legend has it that this is how gems became so common in Equestria and throughout the world.

"The end!" Pinkie Pie said.

"That's it?" Bon Bon asked.

"Yup! Well, I did leave some things out. Like when Twilight and Trixie-"

"Ok thanks for that story Pinkie Pie! Any more questions?" Twilight said.

"I'm not done! Then Applejack and Rarity-"

"Pinkie Pie!"

"No do go on." Lyra said.

"Alright goodbye everypony thanks for coming!" Twilight said as she forced out everypony except Spike and Pinkie Pie. "What kind of a book is this! And how much did you leave out of it? Not that I would want to know."

"Well there were a lot of things I left out, and it was in Princess Celestia's private collection. They were marked extra extra extra good so I took some for the next few meetings of our group." Pinkie Pie said smiling.

"Just bring them back Pinkie."

"Oki doki loki!" She said as she bounced out of the library.

"Hey Twilight, what are you doing?" Spike asked.

Twilight had slipped on her stealth suit, and was just about to sneak out of the library.

"I'm, er, going to get some books. See you in a few hours Spike."

As Twilight sprung out through the window, Spike shrugged and took off his tie.