Whaat? It's just Vanilla!
Canterlot Times
IT'S THE FLAVOR OF THE DEVIL!
Breaking News
Canterlot Times
Everypony loves vanilla, and its intoxicating flavor. In fact, they have it in everything! From cookies, to cakes, to dips for your veggies, nopony could ever come across the word 'vanilla' and not know what it is. But, what about that flavor makes it so intoxicating? Many ponies have spent half of their lives trying to solve this life-long mystery. Luckily, a local Canterlot baker named Cream'd Sugar has solved that mystery.
"It's so simple!" She tells Canterlot Times, "I can't believe we haven't seen this before! The reason why the popular vanilla flavor is just so...intoxicating...is because it's the flavor of the devil. It's so simple! Don't believe me? Just listen. See, us ponies have very simple minds when it comes to flavor. Anything that taste good is healthy for you, except vanilla." She then shows Canterlot Times a very old and ancient looking picture. "This is when vanilla was first created. This pony, right here, was named Vanilla Bean. She was the pony that came up with the idea of inventing vanilla in the first place."
"Unfortunately, her flavor wasn't as good as she thought it would be, so she made a deal with the devil. Well, Devil Cake that is. The deal was--Devil Cake would make her flavor delicious, and only asked for credit as thanks. But Vanilla never gave her a lick of credit, so Devil did what she thought was fair. She cursed the flavor, making it so intoxicating, not even the strongest of ponies could avoid its delicious flavor."
"They way to stop this? Don't eat vanilla anything! Devil's curse will slowly die after fifteen centuries of nopony ever eating any vanilla again!"
She also noted, that, if we were to keep eating vanilla, unspeakable horrors will happen.
At Sugar Cube Corner, Pinkie Pie was mixing up some vanilla cake, the vanilla icing to the side, unbeknownst to the story that lay in the newspaper. Humming a gentle tune, she took the batter out of the bowl she held and dumped it evenly into six circular pans, each slightly smaller than the one before.
The cake was for her and her friends one-year-anniversary. Precisely one year ago, Twilight had come to Ponyville, and they had been friends ever since! Although she first thought of having one layer per pony, Fluttershy had suggested that, she could keep the six layers, but they could just share the cakes as a whole. Pinkie couldn't see how one cake could fit in all of their mouths at the same time, but, she shrugged it off and figured she would just know when she got there.
Popping three of the pans into the oven, she got to work on food coloring the frosting. Skillfully, she separated them into six bowls, and got to work. She made one bowl avendar, and somehow managed to get a navy strike going diagonally across it. She did the same with all the others, except the colors were corresponding to her friends fur and mane colors.
She was halfway through when the oven dinged. She turned her head towards the pink machine, then back to the frosting she was working on, which was Rainbow's. She had finished Twilight's and Applejack's, but Rainbow's took a little longer, due to all the colors in her mane. She sighed and looked back at the oven, which was beeping pretty loudly now. She shook her head and headed over, making sure to put on oven mitts before touching the dangerously hot cake pans.
As she took them out, she realized she was pretty busy today. She had to put the other pans in the oven, food-color the rest of the frosting, get the cake together, along with all the other picnic food that she had on her island, get it to their favorite picnic spot without the girls seeing her, set up a camera, to make sure nopony stole the food she took so long to make, then go back and convince all her friends to meet her at the picnic spot. This picnic was going to be a surprise for them.
She estimated it would take an hour and thirty minutes, and she huffed with satisfaction. At least it wouldn't take half the day! Besides, she had woken up as soon as Celestia to make sure she had enough time in the day to get everything prepared, and she had made the other picnic food the day before.
Pinkie put the remaining, uncooked cake pans into the oven then turned her attention to the three cooked layers sitting inside the pan. She supposed it wouldn't hurt to frost them now--but, what about the remaining frostings? Then again, by the time she made those, the layers would be cold. But...her other friends color schemes, herself included, were easy to make with frosting, and probably wouldn't take as much time. Twilight's and Applejack's didn't. Plus, when she was done, the other layers would probably be done as well, then she could frost the cake as a whole.
Her mind made up, she went to work on hers, Fluttershy's, and Rarity's frosting. As she predicted, by the time she was done with Rarity's, (really simple), the oven dinged. Giddy with glee, she popped her oven mitts back on and took out the remaining cake layers. It took her an hour to frost the cake, set it in the small wagon, along with the other foods, and gently lay a tarp over it. She set off for their favorite picnic spot, unseen.
There was a brisk knocking at Rarity's door, followed quickly by pounding, then a Pinkie barging in anyways. Rarity was halfway to the door, stunned, as Pinkie came bounding through the doorway.
"Rarity! Come quick!"
"Why, whatever is the matter, Pinkie?" The stylish unicorn asked, slightly annoyed that Pinkie had entered her house, out of the blue, and it wasn't even 10 o'clock yet.
"There's a..." Pinkie paused, sitting down in front of the doorway. She was testing Rarity's patience, because Rarity had just woke up and barely even had time to finish the top story on the newspaper. "There's a fashion show! You need to go there!"
"A fashion show?" She exclaimed. Pinkie nodded, feeling guilty. She didn't really like to lie to her friends, and was worried that, if she did, their friendship would break off somehow, all because of her. "Well, why didn't you say so sooner?" She squealed with glee, then grabbed Pinkie's hoof, yanking her outside. The door slammed behind them with the force of wind.
"Oh, uh, we need to go get the other four, though." Pinkie stammered, worried Rarity would somehow see--or sense--that she had been lying.
"Whatever for? It's been quite some time since you and I just had a girl day together."
"Well, yeah, that's..." Pinkie's ears folded back as she realized that was true. What if Rarity just wanted a day with Pinkie? Nopony else to intervene? "That's true, but, I bet the other four would like to come along and help you out. I'm not the best at choosing which sparkly or shiny dress matches your eyes and mane."
Rarity paused a moment, thinking over what Pinkie had just said. "I suppose that's true, Pinkie. Okay, lead on."
Pinkie beamed and lead Rarity to Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack had the complete opposite personality as Rarity did, so, to Pinkie, it made perfect sense to go there next. It only took them about five or ten minutes to reach the beautiful, red barn.
Pinkie went up to knock on the door, still feeling guilty about the white lie she was about to tell Applejack, the element of honesty. She was also nervous Rarity would hear her lie and speak up, then she would, undoubtedly, have to tell the truth to the two, and they would go and tell the truth to the others. She shot Rarity a nervous look over her shoulder, then knocked on the door to the house.
"Hey, Applejack, have ya seen the top story on the paper today yet?" Applebloom asked her older sister, who was busy finishing up breakfast.
"No, ah haven't, not yet, anyway. What's it about?"
"Basically, vanilla has a curse in it." Applebloom explained, "an' if we keep eatin' it, horrible things'll happen ta us." Applejack leaned in, curious. "An' if we stahp eatin' vanilla flavored anythin' for fiftin centuries, the curse'll be lifted!"
"Really, now?" Applejack asked, slightly interested, but slightly not buying it. "Applebloom, y'all shouldn't--" She was cut off by a sharp knocking. She turned her head towards the door, got out of her seat, and went to see who was up this early in the morning to come knocking on their door.
She opened it up to find Pinkie standing right in front of the doorway, Rarity behind and a bit off to the side.
"Oh, howdy, Pinkie an' Rarity. What are y'all doin' here at this time in the morn'?" Rarity began to open her mouth, ready to speak, but Pinkie blurred over to Rarity's side and stuck her hoof in the unicorn's mouth.
"We came to let you know there was an apple pie eating contest in town square." Pinkie explained hurriedly. She seemed nervous, but, Applejack just shook it off as her running all the way over to her farm to tell her.
"Yee-haw! A pie eatin' contest? An' apple no less? Say no more, Pinkie Pie! I'm a comin' with y'all!!" Applejack cheered, then rushed inside to grab her saddlebags.
Rarity removed Pinkie's hoof from her mouth with her magic. "A pie eating contest?" Rarity asked her, her eyes larger than normal. "Pinkie, did you simply lie to me just to pull me to a...pie eating contest?"
"What? No!" A single tear slipped down Rarity's cheek. "Nonononononono, don't cry, Rarity. Just listen to me. Think about it. Would Applejack really want to go to a fashion show? Or would she rather go to something...more her style?"
Rarity sniffed twice, pulling her silent crying to a stop. She put a hoof to her chin and raised her eyes skyward. After a moment, she looked and pointed at Pinkie. "Good point." She mused.
"That a girl." Pinkie soothed, worried Rarity would start crying again once Applejack came back out. "Now, dry those eyes. We wouldn't want Applejack wondering why you were crying, right?"
Rarity nodded, and magicked up a tissue to dry her eyes and nose with.
Only a moment later, Applejack galloped out of her house and across the bridge. "Well, what are y'all waitin' fer, slow pokes? Come on!" She called over her shoulder.
"Applejack! Slow down!" Were the first three words Twilight heard as soon as she stepped out of her castle that morning. She turned towards the voice and saw an orange earth pony running towards her, a pink earth pony and a white unicorn following suite.
Twilight was too shocked to move out of the way of the speeding farm pony, and in seconds, Applejack ran into her. They went tumbling head over heels, kicking up a dust cloud, right into the Town Square's building. As soon as the dust settled, Applejack was nose-to-brick with the building itself. She looked down to see Twilight was under her.
She quickly got off and helped her friend to her feet. "Ah'm mighty sorry, here, Twilight. Hey! Where's the-"
"-New library?" Pinkie asked, cutting Applejack off. The farm pony gave her the stink eye, and proceeded to talk again. Unfortunately, before she could get a word out, Twilight jumped with glee.
"New library? Where is it? How can I get to it in the fastest way possible?" The princess started swinging her head in any and all direction, as if the library were invisible and she just hadn't seen it yet.
"Just follow me!" Pinkie cheered as she lead the way towards Fluttershy's house. Twilight galloped slightly ahead, eyes closed, excited to see all the wonders of the new library, and the scenery surrounding it. She started to describe what she thought it would be like to Pinkie, who, little by little, was slowly walking backwards to where Applejack and Rarity were.
"Hey, Rarity?" Pinkie asked. Rarity looked towards her friend with confusion. "Could you go talk about the new library-" Pinkie winked, "with Twilight, please? I need to talk with AJ real quick."
Rarity looked forwards, a clear mix of concern and confusion written across her face. She had understood the wink, and would be delighted to enthuse Twilight about the fashion show, but, what did she have to tell Applejack that was so important, she couldn't hear? She decided to question Pinkie about that later. "Oh, alright." She agreed, and walked up to Twilight's side.
"Whay did ya send Rarity up there?" Applejack asked. "An' whay did ya tell Twilight that a new library was open? Where was the pie eatin' contest?" It seemed like a hundred questions flew out of Applejack's mouth, but she was just so darn curious!
"Do you really think the princess or Rarity would like to be at a pie eating contest?" Pinkie asked.
Applejack hung her head, but still continued to walk. "Well, no, but--ya still didn't answer mah other question."
"Which was...?"
"Where was the pie eatin' contest? You said it would be in town square." Applejack raised her head and shoved a hoof at Pinkie's chest, slightly upset that her friend had lied to her.
"Oh! That! Uh..." Her ears folded back, she tried to avoid Applejack's gaze, and she scrunched her nose. Applejack knew that look better than anypony, what, after Discord cursing her way back when.
"Pinkie, you're lyin', ain't ya?" Those five simple words were enough to make Pinkie sweat. Here, she thought she was in the clear.
"L-lying? What do you mean lying...?
"Twilight, dear, have you read the paper today yet?" Rarity asked as she trotted up to her alicorn friend.
"Yeah, I have. I honestly think that vanilla article may be the--"
"--most convincing article you've ever read?" Rarity tried to finish for her.
"No, it's the most--"
"--stunning piece of news there ever was?" She tried to finish her sentence again.
"No! Rarity! Please stop finishing my sentences for me!" Twilight yelled, clearly irritated. She took a deep breath to calm down.
"Sorry" Rarity squeaked. She was still a bit shocked from her sudden outburst.
Twilight looked at her from the corner of her eye, the look seemed to say No, I'm sorry for snapping at you like that. "It's fine." She said, calm now. "I was trying to say that it was the most ridiculous article I've ever read! Well, maybe except forthat one article, but, it's been a while since then."
"Why do you think it's ridiculous? They state all the perfect facts, and--"
"--and I don't believe in curses." Twilight simply stated. "Curses, such as that one, aren't real."
Rarity gasped then scoffed so fast, it sounded like she did the at the same time. "Twilight, please! After a run-in with poison joke, a plant that puts a curse on you, and you were there to see it, you still don't believe in curses?"
"That wasn't a curse. It was just playing a joke on us in it's own little way, like Zecora said." Twilight explained. "Even if you somehow convince me, Rarity, I'll still believe that curses aren't real and that article was a big joke."
"I still believe it's real." Rarity muttered. None of them realized Pinkie and Applejack had stopped walking with them, or the blue pegasus headed there way.
"Pinkie, you know perfectly well what I mean by 'lyin.'" Applejack said. "So, whay are ya lyin' ta all a us about different things?" As Applejack talked, Pinkie noticed that, first of all, Rarity and Twilight had kept walking when they stopped, so they were far ahead of them now. She also noticed a yellow pegasus coming towards them.
She turned to Applejack and gave her four words: "You'll find out soon!" Before turning her attention towards Fluttershy and waving her over. "Fluttershy! Over here!!"
The yellow pegasus paused for a moment, waved, then continued flying towards them. "Rainbow Dash and I found this picnic on top of our favorite picnic spot." She commented as soon as she landed.
Pinkie stiffened. That was her picnic! For them!! Seeing Pinkie stiffen, Applejack shot her a side-long glance before saying "Well, that seems might appropriate fer taday. Perfect picnic weather."
Fluttershy nodded. "Uh-huh. We--er--I decided to leave it alone, but Rainbow kept zooming around it. There was this huge thing covered in the middle with a tarp. So Rainbow lifted it."
"What was under it?" Applejack asked. Pinkie, meanwhile was waving her hooves frantically--her friends were supposed to see the surprise! Not hear it!!
"Oh, only the most beautiful cake in the world! It had all of our color schemes, and was topped with whipped cream, and it just looked to fantastic to eat!"
Elsewhere, Rarity and Twilight were getting the same news from Rainbow Dash. After Rainbow's description of the cake, both Twilight and Rarity's mouths were running and their stomachs were growling like crazy.
"And on top of all that whipped cream? There was a not that was addressed to us, for our one year-adversary! Guess who it was from?" Rainbow asked. She looked like she was about to dive into the cake right then and there, if it had been with her.
Twilight tapped her hoof on her chin, thinking. She set it down after two seconds and closed her eyes. "Well, considering that one of our friends is a baker and would do something like that, I'm going to guess--"
"--Pinkie Pie!" Rainbow interrupted. "I'm guessing she was up all night long to something like that!"
"Pinkie, huh?" Applejack asked, the pink pony beside her upset that their surprise was blown.
"Yes, Pinkie." Fluttershy nodded again. "That was very thoughtful of you, Pinkie." She added, smiling.
"Well, since the secret is already blown, we may as well find the other three and head up there." Pinkie mumbled. She couldn't help but be just a little bit upset, but she didn't want to tell Fluttershy that, and possibly make her cry.
Applejack nodded, and they continued n the path they were walking on.
"Wait!"
"I forgot to tell you something!" Rainbow called. The unicorn and Alicorn turned around, since they had already passed Rainbow while she was hovering. "I maybe, kind of, probably put my hoof in the icing..."
Rarity was repulsed. "Uh! Rainbow Dash! You have tampered the icing and the cake for us all!! How dare you!!"
Pinkie was actually perfectly fine with that. She taste-tested sweets like that all the time!
"And...?" Applejack asked.
"Well, as soon as she tried just a teeny-weensy bit of it, her eyes went wide and she started freaking out, she started frantically wiping her hoof on the grass."
"Why would you do that, Rainbow?" Twilight asked. "You know how long Pinkie took to make that for all of us!"
"Well, I don't know exactly how long, but, I did that because of the taste...and the paper this morning"
"T-the taste? T-the paper this morning? What does newspaper have to do with how good a cake tastes? Pinkie asked.
"Rainbow said the flavor was...oh, I'm scared to say the name..."
"Just say the name already!" Twilight huffed.
Rainbow shot her the stink eye, before landing on the dirt road underneath their hooves. "The flavor, for both the icing and cake, was vanilla."
"Va-vanilla." Fluttershy whispered.
It only took that one word to get four of the six running.
Pinkie and Twilight stayed behind.
