Lyra's unexpectedly, painful day as a human

by realmjumper

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Human
Length: 1831

Lyra's day as a human goes nothing like planned.

Lyra's dream is to become human, if just for a day. After Applebloom got her cutie mark in potions making, Lyra's dream can be realized. Little did she know that being human is a bit more painful than she thought.

This is a short, no more than two or three chapter story. I thought of this story when I stubbed my toe this morning and so I'm making it as fun and funny as I can.

I'm sorry Lyra. You're just going to hurt.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-28 03:35:56 UTC

Good morning Lyra

Lyra Heartstrings opened her eyes to the beautiful day that peeked through the curtains of her bedroom window, like a little foal peering over the beside, waiting for mommy to wake and make him breakfast. With a smile, she sat up, stretching her arms and ya-

She blinked, then looked at her arms. The slender limbs were a light peach color and naked of fur. She held up her fingers to her face, examining the five flimsy digits as she wiggled them experimentally, bafflement turning to wounder.  With a surge of movement, she used a hand to lift the edge of her covers up and off her bed, wondering if the rest of her body was different.

With a triumphant laugh she wiggled her toes and examined every inch of her soft, fleshy, feet.

“Oh this is a dream come true!” She crowed, hopping out of bed, hands on her slender waist, facing the open window, chest puffed and face grinning. “I am HUMAN!”

The local milk stallion, up with the sun as usual, was in the middle of his route when he heard some pony yell 'I am HUMAN!' A curious thing to yell, but most likely a silly remark just to wake the neighbors. Curiously, he looked to the small house from where the cry of victory was belted forth, when he saw a human, buck naked, at the window, in full view of every pony who had a view of the window.

It wasn't until Lyra heard the milk stallion's bottle crash to the ground that she realized there were ponies out. Slowly she looked down, realizing for the first time that she was wearing nothing but her birthday suit. A blush blossomed on her face as she covered herself and closed the curtains as quickly as she could.

As a pony, she could care less if she was naked. That's what fur was for. As a human, she strangely felt self conscious of her bare skin, but she had prepared for this day. With a hop and a skip she made her way to her dresser, but not before doing what every human has done, since the existence of the human species. She stubbed her big toe.

A fiery pain shot up her toe, up her foot and she dropped dramatically to the floor, trying to clamp her hands around the offend toe, which only served to adding injury to injury as she banged her elbow in the solid oak dresser on her way down.

“Ow ow ow.” She whimpered.

Bonbon burst into the room, her sleeping mask still over her eyes, a rolling pin held in a hoof. “Where's the intruder?!” She demanded, swinging the kitchen utensil like a sword. “I'll teach him to break in!”

“Bon, there's no pony here but me.” Lyra gritted, the sharp pain dulling to a slow burn that felt like it was cooking her injured flesh on the spot. “Take off the sleeping mask.”

Bonbon complied, seeing no pony in the room, but a strange creature on the floor. “Lyra?” She asked cautiously. The naked being nodded, tears welling in it's eyes from the stubbed toe. Bonbon smacked her in the head with the rolling pin.

“OW! What was that for?!”

“Fer wakin' up a mare in the middle of her beauty sleep!” Bonbon replied rather annoyed. “An' beause you look so different, I won't be able to get back to sleep, so I'm up for good, thanks to you.”

“Uuugggh.” Lyra gave up on cuddling her wounds, and just lay sprawled out on the cool wood floor. “Now I know what you're like without your morning coffee.”

“No pony said you had to move in in the first place.” Bonbon reminded her as she turned to head to the kitchen.

Lyra had thought it was a good idea to move in, last week when she was thinking on how to save money, but now she was staring to reconsider. With a sigh, she sat up and, more carefully this time, opened her drawer and started pulling out the needed things for a typical human female to wear. She smiled, as all those dress up sessions actually paid off.

In no time she made her way into kitchen wearing blue jeans and a green shirt that read 'Super Star'. Lyra sat at the kitchen table while Bonbon started boiling some coffee.

“So, what are you?” The light yellow pony asked without even looking. It wasn't the first time she'd seen her, now roommate, as something other than a pony. It seemed about a year ago after the youngest member of the Apple family got her cutie mark, Lyra found out that Applebloom could brew potions that could turn her into a human.

To put it politely, Applebloom was still learning her trade as a potions maker.

“I'm human.” Lyra declared happily, though winced as her big toe gave a little throb of pain. “Applebloom got it right this time.”

Bonbon looked over at Lyra, shaking her head. “An' why in all of Equestria did ya want to become human?” She stirred the rich black grounded coffee beans into the pot and let it steep. “Wha'd I mean is, what's so bad about bein' a pony?”

“Nothing.” Lyra replied. “Its just...how do I explain. I was curious what's it like. That's all.”

“Will this one wear off after a day, or will it be a week? I can't handle ya bein' a monkey again.”

Lyra opened her mouth to reply, but then shut it. “I don't know.” She admitted sheepishly. “But I'm going to enjoy it for as long as I can!”

Bonbon gave her a half lidded look of a pony who is anything but impressed. “I'm sure.” She replied.

Lyra smiled, jumped to her feet, started walking to the front door, felt a sharp pain shoot through her foot.

“Ow, ow, ow!” She hopped up and down, holding her foot, only to lose her balance and fall over Bonbon's chair.

Bonbon sighed, counting to ten before she said anything. “What now?”

Tears stood in Lyra's eyes as she pointed to soft pink flesh of her foot, to the needle like, brown object poking out of her sole.

“Sliver.”

Bonbon rolled her eyes, making her way to the poor human. It was going to be one of those days.

Lunch with Bonbon

Lyra sat down with a huff at her favorite restaurant, Three Fillies, ready to cry. It had been a hard morning for the human. After Bonbon had dug out the splinter, none too gently, she had stepped on some very painful rocks on her way to town, slipped on the gravel in town landing on her hind quarters, smacked her head on a hanging shop sign at Sugarcube Corner, and nearly wore out the her finger pads teaching lessons on the Lyre. The day of her dreams had not gone anything like she thought it would, and all the side glances and snickering she could hear behind her back didn't help.

“I see yer' wishin' ya didn't drink that potion.” Bonbon commented off hoof, as she sat down across from the unhappy human. “So, what do ya think? Peachy?”

Lyra glared at her roommate. “Didn't have enough coffee after I left?”

Bonbon shrugged. “What can I say, all we had was this nasty Decaf. It's been a rough day.”

“I'll say!” Lyra shot back. “I don't know what's going to kill me first! Getting all these little scrapes and bruises because I can't use magic and I'm bipedal now,”

“Do you even know what bipedal means?” Bonbon snipped in.

“OR,” Lyra continued her rant, ignoring her roommate's sass. “The embarrassment of every pony seeing me struggle as a human! I mean, I've practiced a lot as a pony. I sat like a human, walked like a human,”

“Snore like a human.” Bonbon added.

“Hey! I do NOT snore!”

Bonbon gave her human companion a look that would wilt a flower. “Listen hunny. I live with you for a week now. Its a wonder I've been able to sleep at all.”

“Point is,” Lyra pressed. “I should be a natural. This was my dream.” She sat back, looking more dejected than before. “And its a nightmare.”

The waiter came and they ordered their usual meal. The Stallion was a little amused to see Lyra was a human, mare finally found a way how, but didn't comment on it.

“Listen sweetheart.” Bonbon smiled, her voice much kinder than before. “Yer bein' too rough on ya'self. You ain't human, no matter wha'd ya look like. So, how can ya act what ya not?”

There were some truth to that, and hearing that Bonbon was at last being sympathetic to her cause made Lyra fill a little better.

In no time, lunch was served. A hay bacon burger with raw oats, carrots and a tossed flower salad. Lyra dug in.

“OW!”

Bonbon sighed. “What now?”

Lyra tried to chew, but winced painfully. With embarrassment written on her face, she spit out the oats she had tired to eat into a napkin.

“These oats are hard.” She whispered.

Bonbon took a spoonful of the 'hard' oats and munched them. “Nah, they ain't.” She looked at Lyra. “Yer teeth must be too weak, as a human.”

Lyra's face fell from embarrassment to dread. She carefully picked up the hay bacon burger and took an experimental bite. She crunched and crunched and crunched before taking a large gulp of water to force it down.

“Blah.” She looked like she was about to cry. It's dry and I can't ground up the hay like I used too.”

“Clearly humans aren't meant to eat pony food.” Bonbon pointed out, having taken a large bite of her own hay bacon burger, relishing the flavor and texture.

Lyra pushed around the flower salad, not even bothering to try it, and just settled down to eating the carrots, the only edible thing on her plate.

“This is a disaster.” Lyra moaned, watching the waiter, a little annoyed, taking away her nearly full plate. “I have to see Applebloom and see how long this is going to last. I don't think I can take much more of this!”

“Hope it doesn't last a week.” Bonbon added, massaging her head. “Cause this is a migraine.”

Lyra gasped. “A week?! What if it lasts,” She stared into the distance. “Forever?”

Near by a pink pony popped out of a stallions drink, with the strangest expression saying, “Foooooreeeeeveeeerrrrr.” While sinking into the drink. Needless to say, the stallion had the waiter change his cup.

Bonbon rolled her eyes. “Get goin'. I'll pay fer lunch this time.”

Lyra nodded, stood up, and hurried to the door, only to walk straight into the door frame head first, with a loud -THUD-. After a moment of daze, she exited the building and started running towards Sweet Apple Acres, hoping the worst was over.