Twilight Sparkle and the science of Cheese

by The Infinity Doctor

Rating: everyone
Tags: Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Tirek, Random, Crossover, Human, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 955

In the not too distant future, next Tuesday, A.C., there lived a mare named Twilight, not too different from you or me. She worked at Golden Oaks Library, just another unicorn living in a tree.

In the not too distant future, next Tuesday, A.C., there lived a mare named Twilight, not too different from you or me. She worked at Golden Oaks Library, just another unicorn living in a tree, she did a good job keeping up the place, but the universe has a sense of humor, so a giant ship fell from spa-ace!

Lord Tirek was on the brink of conquering Equestria. but an enormous spaceship fell from the sky, and conked him on the noggin.

Yep, that's exactly how it happened.

Every last detail.

No repercussions whatsoever.

Cover art belongs to sbloom85.

Published 2015-07-25 04:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-25 04:20:02 UTC

"...and that's how Equestria was made!"

Author's Note

So, yeah! I wrote this!

"...and that's how Equestria was made!"

"How is this possible?! You have no magic!" Tirek screamed, staring up at the six as they floated above him in all their sparkling-rainbow glory.

"You're wrong, Tirek!" Twilight replied triumphantly "I may have given you my Alicorn magic, but I carry-"

"WHAT THE HELL?!" screamed Rainbow, pointing a hoof toward the sky, stopping Twilight mid-sentence.

Twilight huffed, and glanced upward- only to find an expansive spaceship hurtling towards them, the hull starting to catch fire as it entered the atmosphere.

Fluttershy squealed in fear as she ducked, screwing her eyes shut.

"Don't worry- we're nice and snuggly inside our 'friend-zone'!" Pinkie Pie stated cheerfully.

"Oh dear- then Tirek-" Rarity began.

She was cut-off promptly, as the ship tore into the ground, kicking up grass, trees, and dirt. The red-hot hull, still on fire, by the way, slammed into Tirek. The centaur wailed in agony as his body mutilated by the spacecraft, his screams dying away as he was pushed over the edge of the nearby canyon, dirt and rock falling after him, sealing the now-deceased dark lord into his well-deserved prison.

"Well," Rarity stated, glancing at the other five "that was rather convenient, wasn't it?"

"A little too convenient, if you as me." Twilight replied, staring at the searing hull of the ship in awe and curiousity.

"This. is. AWESOME!" Rainbow cried, mashing her muzzle against the wall of the bubble, her eyes alight with the same wonderment that Twilight held.

"Wow, a big disaster like that, and nopony got hurt!" Applejack exclaimed, glancing back at Ponyville, just as a giant explosion of rainbow-colored magic exploded, spreading all across Equestria.

Twilight lit her horn, carefully lowering the protective bubble to the ground. Once their hooves were firmly planted on the ground, the group quickly decided to investigate the ship, seeing as it was the only logical thing to do after defeating a magic-stealing, centuries-old centaur.

Rainbow sped towards the ship, eager to peek inside- and, if at all possible, kick some evil alien flank while they were at it. Did aliens have flanks? Were they evil? There was only one way to find out!

"Rainbow, wait!" Twilight shrieked in panic.

The polychromatic mare stopped and glanced back at Twilight, her hoof just a few inches from a foghat grey hatch leading into the ship.

"That just fell out of the sky! At those temperatures, your entire hoof could-"

The other five gasped as Rainbow's hoof touched the hatch, nothing significant happening, whatsoever.

"Wh-What?!" the alicorn cried, dashing to the hatch and tentatively testing it with the tip of a forehoof "It's completely cooled! H-How is that possible?!"

"Maybe it's their alien tech?" Rainbow suggested.

Twilight rounded on Rainbow, furious.

"How could you have just done that?! You could've scalded your entire-"

"Pegasi can feel the air temperature, remember Twi?" the Pegasus replied smugly, flexing her wings "I knew it wasn't hot, because it wasn't giving off any heat, after it landed."

The purple alicorn had no reply, only blushing furiously as she glanced away.

"Well, at any rate," Rarity stated, trotting up and knocking daintily on the hatch "I'm sure these creatures can be reasoned-"

The hatch popped open, smoke pouring out of the opening.

"Oh, like I haven't seen this a thousand times." Rainbow commented.

"Rainbow, shush-" Twilight hissed, sweat pouring down her neck.

A dinky gumball machine came puttering out of the ship, muffin tins taped around its middle. It held a plunger in one hand, and a fountain pen in the other.

"Surrender, maggot carrying flesh-bags, or I'll...exterminate....you..."

Rarity coughed politely into her hoof.

"Nope." the gumball machine stated, tossing its 'weapons'. They landed with a soft thump as it sputtered back into the ship.

"Well? Are we goin' ta follow it?" Applejack asked as the six of them stood in silence.

"It's the only logical solution." Pinkie replied, bounding into the craft.

"So...what's S.O.L stand for?" Rainbow asked, taking notice of the black letters printed on the side of the building.

"No idea, sugarcube," Applejack replied "Ah suppose we're going ta find out."

"Commercial sign in thirty seconds." an oddly beautiful voice stated.

"The ceiling is talking!" Pinkie exclaimed.

"Hello?" Twilight replied, attempting to reply to the voice.

No response.

"We might as well investigate further," Twilight called to the rest of the group "it's important that we be the best representatives we can be for the aliens."

"W-Why us?" Fluttershy murmured.

"We're the next best thing to greet offworlders at the moment, it would take too long for Celestia and Luna to get here."

"I'm telling you, Joel," the gumball machine's voice "it's like Richard Simmons' daydream out there."

"Maybe it's the marketing department, you know how they can get." another voice replied, this one also male.

"C'mon, Crow, wormholes are windows of possibility," yet another voice replied, also male.

Twilight felt a grin come to her muzzle.

'An intellectual!'

"-even if it is Richard Simmons' daydream."

'Or...not...'

"Well anyway, looks like the monitor's busted."

"No Mads?" the gumball machine asked.

"No Mads."

Twilight peeked around the corner, and saw four constructs, one of which being the gumball machine. The bipedal creature leaning against the table looked bleary-eyed and bored.

As if having a revelation, the five of them glanced at each other, and elicited whoops of joy, cheering. The biped even pumped his fist in the air, like she'd seen Spike do.

The yellow one suddenly stopped.

"Well...what'll we do now?"

The biped gave an idle grin.

"Let's go harass the locals, that's what you always do when you land in an unfamiliar environment!"

"Celestia have mercy on our souls..." Rarity murmured.