Wolf in Pony Clothing.

by ProbableSarcasm

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Alternate Universe, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Other, Adventure
Length: 1285

Attempting to recreate a long forgotten spell is a dangerous practice, and having an hyperactive pink pony makes your life at stake a dozen times. Twilight Sparkle had ripped a hole in her reality, and it's seemed to have altered someone's universe.

A prompt to see if you'd enjoy this sort of story.

Recreating spells that are long forgotten is risky, really risky, but Twilight's finally mastered the spell. Excited about her accomplishment, she goes to demonstrate to her friends of said spell. However, she makes an error when Pinkie Pie won't sit still enough and accidentally causes Twilight to make an error.
And now there's a wolf-pony-like-thing, who seems dead set on smoking.

It's one thing to be interrupted when solving a murder case, it's a completely new level of annoyance when you're sucked completely out of your world, but it's a real big problem on your hands when you're right back where you started before Fabletown.
An animal.

And All Bigby wants to do is go back to Fabletown, but until Twilight can revert her spell, Bigby's gotta bite the silver bullet on this one.

Published 2015-07-25 21:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-25 21:40:01 UTC

The Big Bad Wolf

My name is Bigby Wolf, and I would rather be dead in a ditch than be where I am today. I would rather be back in the bottom of the river like trash with my belly full of god damn stones, than having to wake up face down on the ground. The ground felt scorched, hot, like I was in the desert, but the air around me had the smell of rain being brewed up. I couldn't feel my fingers, nor my toes; I could, however, move a tail.

My Glamour must of worn out, and I swear I made sure the quality of the glamour wasn't the cheap stuff you'd find around the corner of a bar. Of course, this was sarcasm if you couldn't tell. (Who am I even talking to?) I have a enchanted knife, that I can't figure out the name of it right now, never bothered to learn it, that can allow me to switch forms at will. I don't feel it around me, otherwise I would have smelled steel instead of the copper I do now.

Glamour is a magical spell that disguises Fables, such as me, to appear human, which we call Mundies. Some of us, like Beast for example, don't need it since they look human enough. I guess it's fair and unfair in a way, the rates on Glamour keeps rising yet the quality doesn't change like Toad said, but I don't make the rules.

Where these Fables lived was in was a town called, stupidly enough, Fabletown. To the average Mundy-eye, it looks like Bullfinch Street. There, I'm the sheriff; my job is to bring in Fables who can't afford to get Glamour to The Farm. Trust me, no one wants to go to The Farm.

Not even myself.

I sniffed the air, noticing something off with the scent of the scent of grass. I rolled over onto my back and propped myself up, as painful as it was. I took one arm to rub my eyes, not trusting the ground enough to be wiping my eyes with my hands. I blinked a couple of times, my vision blurry momentarily. I felt my regenerative vitality working overtime to fix whatever is wrong with me, but honestly; I could go for a double shot glass of whisky and a cigarette.

Finally, my vision came into focus. I looked at my surroundings in curiosity, this wasn't Fabletown... it seems more... how do I put this... purple. Maybe it was a village without a high source of income? Who knows, I live in a busted down apartment that won't even bother to give me a permanent tag. I shook my head sharply and looked at my hands, which were now hooves.

Eh, I've seen weirder. I'm a wolf, I kind of deal with waking up to be an animal sometimes. Maybe some glamour will fix this, but that's for a temporary fix; I need that knife right about now, but for right now: I need to figure out where the hell am I...

I sniffed the air again, I knew there was something off in the smell of burnt grass and magical residue. Well, magical residue aside, it was the smell of fear. It was radiating from behind me, If I turn around and if I get knocked unconscious for no reason: I'm going to sue someone. I sat up, my heart beating fast from the sudden surge of movement. I turned around, mentally preparing for a hard hoof to to the side of my jaw. Any second.....-

Oh, there were six horses. Two of them unicorns, two of them pegasus, two of them regular plain horses. I recognized the unicorns for their most predominant feature stapled right on their forehead, I recognized the pegasus because of their eyes... no not really. They have wings, too hard to miss it. The purple unicorn was standing defensively in front of the other horses, her horn glowed bright purple-pink. Se seemed spooked. The other unicorn had her hooves on her muzzle, as if she was gasping at what I'm wearing instead of the fact I look like a wolf.

The pink horse looked way too happy to see me, I swear to god if this damned horse even gets near me: I'll probably do nothing and die of lung cancer from all the cigarettes that I'll be smoking. The orange horse looked curious, like a child looks at another stranger's dog. The yellow pegasus hid behind her friends, the majority of her face covered by her long and unusual pink mane but she still looked at me nervously with... the most beautiful blue eyes I've seen in a while.

Wow.

The blue pegasus with the rainbow hair(... or was it mane?) looked ready to punch me, gee, thanks for the welcome invite.

The other one was speaking, quietly. In this bubble, and the volume of her voice, I could hardly make out a word.

"Even with my sensitive ears," I quipped, my hoof running over my stubble.

I guess instead of being socked in the face, I'm trapped in a big purple-pink bubble. I rolled my eyes, grateful my jaw is still intact. No wonder I smelled magic residue, burnt grass, and fear. I looked at my forelegs, noticing they were furrier than the other horses: which might be a reason for fear. I'm already guessing I look like a wolf, with hooves... maybe. I need that rhyming Magic Mirror, to tell me who looks the most like a person who eats kids.

"Huh, I wonder what that would look like.."

I stood up, it wasn't different from being a wolf; this body. I took a small walk over to the edge of the magical barrier blocking me from the rest of the society that I would rather not meet, not looking like this at least. My fur wasn't even that fluffy, or long. It was just noticeable, and that's the opposite of what I want in a situation like this. I knocked on the barrier, making the purple unicorn flinch slightly. I rolled my eyes, crossing my forelegs.

"C'mon, Let me out," I groaned, "I'm a fairy tale! Don't you believe in fables?"

"Y'all ain't no fairy!"

"You know, I have better things to do than being held hostage by horses," I retorted, maybe if I was an asshole long enough to them: they'll either let me go free or attempt to kill me. Yeah, let them try that. "Some neat whisky, punch a asshole in the face, live in my sorrows of gambling debt."

"Applejack?" the blue pegasus inquired.

The horses looked at Applejack, she snorted.

"He's bein' sarcastic,"

"No, I'm being held hostage," I replied, truthfully speaking. "I have rights you know."

"No way!" The blue pegasus came up right to the bubble and glared at me, I simply looked back uninterested. "We let you out, you could eat the entire population!" Her voice cracked at "entire".

I'm convinced I could kick her ass.

"Twi', he might be a danger to tha' town..." Applejack nudged the purple unicorn.

"You're right, we should wait until the Princess arrives..." Twi replied, her horn brightening up.

"This is ridiculous." I growled, rubbing my face with a hoof. "You act like I'm going to go on a killing spree with a chicken mask on!"

The shield lowered, and I felt magical restraints cuff around my legs.

I looked up and groaned again. I was standing in front of a fairly suspicious looking blue pegasus.

"Do I get a cigarette first?"

Then I got a fast blue hoof to the nose.

Went out like a light.