Gods, Chaos, And A Teenager

by BraxAttacks

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Discord, Princess Celestia, Human, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Romance
Length: 9882

A higher power gets bored and sends a random teenager into Equestria for no real reason.

Gods have to watch over the universe. The job isn't very exciting despite popular belief, and the gods have to do something to the mortals that inhabit planets to keep themselves occupied. Sometimes, this involves taking a random teen by the name of Braxton and moving him to a world that he knows very well. The residents of the world, called Equestria, know nothing about the creature that has been sent to their world.

The arrival of this "alien" causes much chaos in Equestria. Enough that a certain Draconequus begins to free himself from his stone imprisonment...

Published 2012-06-27 04:04:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-09-08 20:07:46 UTC

Chapter the First

Braxton was sitting at a massive table covered with a fancy white table cloth. A huge selection of food was in front of him, from chocolate covered strawberries to deep-fried ice cream. There was no silverware in front of him, only a plate. He looked over the large selection, searching for something that would satisfy the aching that ate away at his stomach. Everything in front of him looked incredible, and he was having trouble deciding what would be the best choice to go with.

"Chuck? What do you recommend?"

At Braxton's request, Chuck the alligator, dressed in a formal vest, cleared his throat and spoke in a clear voice, with a ridiculous french accent. "I would recommend the European Death Walrus, I hear it is quite exquisite this time of year."

Just then, a door slammed open, revealing Alfred the lobster standing in the doorway, panting for breath. "Sir! The Octopus are invading! They are already breaching the marshmallow walls!"

Braxton quickly sat up in his chair, almost knocking over his goblet of infinite soda. "Order the Monkey battalion to form some sort of intelligent defensive position and not die!" He turned to Chuck. "Prepare my escape pod."

As soon as they moved to accomplish their tasks, all of the walls began to turn into-

*THUNK*

"Son of a..." Braxton moaned as he pushed himself up from the cold stone floor beneath. "That is the last time I drink a liter of soda before bed," he said through gritted teeth as he realized that he probably bruised his chest when he fell from his bed. Although, he could have sworn that his room had a carpet.

As soon as he made the realization, Braxton frantically examined the room he was in. It was nothing like his room. The floor beneath him was a dark stone, with purple swirls moving through it. Not the 'they look like they're moving,' but the literal kind of movement. The walls were made of the same type of stone, though they were decorated with dark crimson curtains and torches placed high up in the arching roof. Red windows allowed some light to seep in, staining all of his clothes a red color. He was laying next to a king-sized bed that was covered in a fur blanket.

Braxton stood up, dusted him self off, and straightened his glasses. One of the lenses had cracked when he fell, rendering one of his eyes practically useless. Cursing under his breath, he tried to remain calm. There weren't many things that could have happened to him; a double dream or kidnapping were the only likely options. The look of the place seemed to be a dead give-away.

Looking around, he realized that there wasn't a door in the entire room. Trying the windows, he found that none of them budged an inch. His calm gradually diminsihed. He sat down on the bed, shaking slightly. Staring at the moving patterns in the stone, Braxton decided that he was definitely in another dream.

An idea entered his head.

Raising his hands, Braxton concentrated. He pictured a giant banana appearing out of nowhere. It didn't work.

"Okay, so I'm not in a dream...." he muttered. Nothing was making any sense. There were no doors or walls, he wasn't dreaming, and the moving floor patterns were starting to piss him off. Braxton was quickly becoming frustrated with everything that was happening to him.

"Calm yourself, mortal," a deep, echoing voice spoke. Braxton startled, jumping into the air and crashing to the ground for the second time that day. He was beginning to notice a trend.

Braxton stood up, quivering even more than before. "W-Who are you?"

"I am the messenger of the Gods," it stated with pride. Braxton scanned the room for any sort of speakers, worried that somebody was having way too much fun with kidnapping him. He found none.

"What d-do you mean, 'messenger of the gods'? Who are you?" Braxton continued looking for anything that could be projecting the voice, and once again he didn't find any.

"I communicate to mortals like you for the gods, who would obliterate you if you were to be near their presence."

"Obliteration is bad, so these 'gods' send you. Alright. Nothing weird here." Braxton had come to the conclusion that he had been kidnapped by a very rich, very insane man. If the movies were any sort of indication, that was not a good thing. Then again, movies aren't the most realistic of things.

"Indeed. Puny as you humans are, killing you left and right wouldn't help anyone. The gods prefer to use you for their own entertainment."

"How will a 'mortal'," Braxton used air quotes, "Entertain gods?"

"The gods are easily entertained."

Braxton resisted the urge to facepalm. His kidnapper didn't seem to be doing anything close to threatening, and his nerves were slowly beginning to relax. His posture became slightly less agitated.

"Okay then, what exactly am I going to do that will entertain the gods? I'm no comedian. The best jokes I can make are memes, which aren't even my own jokes."

If the Messenger of the Gods had a face, it would have looked very confused. "What is a meme?"

"Never mind, just tell me when I can go home," Braxton demanded. The blunt nature of his question, and the consequences it could have, were only realized after the words had been said. Inwardly, Braxton flinched, hoping that he didn't just seal his fate.

"Ah, that is where I must apologize. You will not be going home for a very long time, perhaps, never." The Messenger of the Gods didn't say it in a threatening voice, but Braxton was suddenly deeply regretting his remark. He briefly reflected on the fact that he would never see his family again, and decided that there was only one way he could survive the situation.

Begging.

"I-I don't want to die, please don't kill me. I have a mom, a dad, a brother, a sister, and they would be destroyed if I died," Braxton pleaded, on the verge of tears. He slowly sat down and curled up on the cold stone floor, completely unaware of the messenger's chuckling.

"The gods have you intention of killing you. Did I not just say that we don't kill your kind often?" The sound of crying stopped as soon as the sentence was finished. He wasn't going to die. His family wouldn't have to suffer through the loss of losing a member.

"But to everyone you know, you may as well be dead." That made Braxton whip his head up.Now he was just confused, unsure of weather or not to continue crying or to cheer. He settled on staring at a random spot on the wall.

"What does that mean?"

"You will be sent to another world, one that you are familiar with, and the gods will observe the chaos that you will undoubtedly cause there."

Before Braxton was given a chance to respond, he found himself surrounded by a swirling purple energy that coated his body, spreading to all of his limbs and covering his head. Dizziness overtook him as he spun around, faster and faster with every passing second, lifting into the air. With a pop, he disappeared.

Fluttershy was having a good morning. There was nothing special that made the morning any better than her normal mornings, which was fine with her. No interruptions, no sick animals, nothing that could put a damper on her happy mood.

She was pulled out of her reflection by a tapping on her leg. "Sorry Angel, I'll grab you your carrot now," she apologized, receiving a satisfied snort from her long-time friend, Angel Bunny. Fluttershy hurried back inside her home, immediately moving to the correct cabinet, and pulled out a carrot. She flew back out to the white rabbit.

"Alright Angel, here's your food. Make sure to eat it all, or else you'll be hungry until lunchtime." She laid the carrot at Angel's feet, giving him a hopeful look.

Slowly but surely, Angel started eating.

Glad that she didn't have to deal with the almost daily refusal of whatever food was put before Angel, Fluttershy flew around her abode, giving food to all of the other residents the area had. Once that was done, she heated up some water to make tea, in order to to complete the comfort of the morning.

While she waited for the water to come to a boil, Fluttershy pulled out a book to read. Fantasy wasn't a genre that she read very often, but from time to time she picked one up anyways. The daring feats of the protagonists almost always frightened her, so she sometimes had to take breaks to calm herself down mid-chapter.

The sound of a cart speeding away caught her attention. The mail must have arrived, she thought. Marking her page, she went to see if she had gotten something other than letters saying that she had won the grand prize. The first time that happened, she got a scolding from Rarity about how she should never trust 'those horrid scandals!'

Sure enough, her mailbox was full. Halfway to it, Fluttershy heard a sound in the distance that sounded like clouds being broken apart. She distinctly remembered that it was supposed to be slightly cloudy. So why were there clouds being broken apart?

She glanced in the direction of the sound, and saw something falling through the air, below a fresh hole in the cloud above it. Her heartbeat quickened as she realized that it wasn't something, but someone.

Immediately forgetting about the water heating up on her stove and her mail, Fluttershy flew as fast as she could in the direction of the falling silhouette. She barely noticed when she entered the Everfree Forest.

Oblivious to everything around her, Fluttershy dodged branches as she flew in the direction she knew the pony had fallen. As the light shining from above became blocked out by the thickening canopy of leaves, she didn't slow down for a second. The most important thing was saving the pony that fell from the sky, and nothing would stop her from doing exactly that.

She briefly considered the event as something out of her imagination. Even with the improved vision that being a Pegasus gave her, she could have easily mistaken a dropped package for a pony. Maybe it was a diving bird, or just a bit of dust that looked like it was in the distance.

But that didn't explain the sound.

Pushing her thoughts aside, Fluttershy tried to fly even faster. The possibility that what she had seen was a pony was good enough a reason for her to plunge into the deadly forest. It had its reputation for a reason.

Scattering leaves, Fluttershy burst into a clearing. Or, at least, what initially looked like a clearing. A hole in the canopy, broken twigs hanging loose, let the light into the otherwise dark forest. A crater was located directly below the hole, pieces of brush scattered around it. In the center of the crater was... something.

A monkey came to mind, but at the same time the creature was very different. It was taller than most monkeys, roughly 5 feet, and didn't have hair covering its body. Instead, it was wearing blue pants and a shirt made from a cloth. A wavy light brown mane sprouted from it's head. A pair of glasses balanced on its nose, somehow intact after the fall. Fluttershy began to shiver at the alien sight in front of her. What she had thought to be a falling Pegasus was something completely different, something totally unknown to her.

Her shivers stopped when she noticed the many cuts and bruises on the exposed parts of the creature, very few of which were minor. Fluttershy could see its chest rising and falling slowly, assuring her that it was alive. Twigs snapped underhoof as she slowly approached, moving into the crater. She slowly moved her hooves underneath its arms, and lifted it upwards into the sky.

It would be a tough flight home.

Chapter the Second

Twilight liked having things go according to plan. This morning was as far away from the plan as it could possibly get.

On a normal day, Twilight would have been drinking a warm cup of coffee, her daily savior, and been reading a relaxing book on complicated magical theory, just some light reading to get her brain in working condition. Everypony else seemed to think that was a terrible idea, for some reason.

When she had read a few chapters and had an inner mental debate over them, she would make something for breakfast, get some some gems for Spike, and then attend to her daily duties. Occasionally, she'd write a friendship report resulting from some adventure that she got dragged into with her friends.

This day, however, Fluttershy had shown up at her door in a panic. She begged Twilight to come look at some strange animal she had found in the Everfree forest. While Twilight didn't know why Fluttershy would be there in the first place, if it was an animal that even Fluttershy didn't recognize, then there could an unknown species to learn about, which was an opportunity that Twilight would refuse to miss out on.

"So what does this creature look like?" Twilight asked as she pulled a small notebook out from her saddlebags. She came prepared, with as much equipment stuffed in the bags as possible.

"Well, i-it um, it... oh, you'll see for yourself once we get there!" Fluttershy stammered out. Whatever this creature was, it had set Fluttershy on edge, Twilight noted. That, or the Everfree forest itself had done that.

"Why were you in the Everfree forest in the first place? It isn't exactly the best place for a morning stroll."

"Actually, I saw something falling from the sky. I thought it was a Pegasus, so I flew towards them to try and help them if they were hurt. I didn't even completely notice that I was in the Everfree forest at first."

Twilight shifted the packs on her back so they were more comfortable. "So instead of finding a hurt Pegasus, you found some creature that you've seen or heard of in your entire life? After I take a look at it, I could send a letter to the Princess with a description and see if she recognizes it," Twilight offered. If there was anypony other than Fluttershy who would know of this animal, it would be Celestia.

Fluttershy didn't respond. They had arrived at her home, and stopped at the small cobble-stone bridge that arched over the small river that ran trough her yard. The usual sound of animals moving about in the bushes and trees was strangely absent, replaced with a silence that felt somehow wrong to Twilight.

Leading the way, Fluttershy quickly moved towards her destination, the stairway leading up. Every creak of the stairs was louder than either pony was used to in the odd silence. The first door on the right of the upper level hallway was slightly ajar, letting the light inside the room spill out. The excitement of discovery was building Twilight's body, enough that she felt the urge to rush past Fluttershy and into the room.

Stopping just in front of the doorframe, Fluttershy turned to Twilight. "I-It was asleep when I left. I hope it hasn't woken up. It might get frightened by us and hurt itself more than it already is," said Fluttershy, shifting uneasily on her hooves.

Twilight smiled supportively, laying a gentle hoof on the pegasus' shoulder. Leave it to Fluttershy to fear for the animal's safety before she knew what it was. "Don't worry, I don't anything could be afraid of you."

Twilight chuckled when Fluttershy's cheeks flushed red. "I can be f-fierce!"

"Oh really?" Twilight raised an eyebrow as a smile crept onto her face. "Make a 'fierce' face, then."

Taking a deep breath, Fluttershy put all of her effort into looking mean and tough. She lowered her brow brow, bared her teeth, planted her hooves on the wooden floor, and spread her wings to their maximum size. A small feeling of satisfaction rose within her as she saw Twilight's eyes widen slightly.

The feeling was crushed when the unicorn started snorting with laughter.

"I apologize, but you look more confused and worried than you do fierce!" Twilight giggled, trying hard to stop her laughter from escaping her muzzle.

With an even bigger blush than before, Fluttershy fully opened the door, refusing to look at Twilight. "I think we should check on it now, don't you agree?" Without waiting for an answer, she swiftly trotted into the room, Twilight stifling her laughter as she trailed behind.

The room was relatively small, with few furnishings other than a plush green rug and a shelf filled with all kinds of bird seed. On the far wall, the creature was laying on a guest bed. A blanket lay next to the bed, thrown off of the creature at some point.

Twilight instantly submitted to her childish curiosity. She skipped up to the creature, levitating a pair of glasses out of her saddle bags, placing them on her muzzle. Getting a view of the entire animal, still asleep, the unicorn leaned back, moving her eyes across every part of the animal she could. It was apparent that it was an intelligent creature. The glasses and clothing were evidence of that. There didn't seem to be any dirt on it, suggesting that it was either cleaned or cleaned itself recently. Poking and prodding, Twilight got no reaction from the creature.

"You said you found it in a crater, right?" Twilight asked. Fluttershy nodded, giving her confirmation. It must be extremely tough to have not only survived the fall, but take almost no harm, Twilight mused, taking note of the creature's gentle breathing and the bandaged cuts that were scattered across the visible parts of it's body.

Removing the glasses, Twilight turned towards Fluttershy. "The Princess will definitely want to hear about this. From the looks of things, you may have just discovered a new, unheard of sentient race, Fluttershy."

The significance of that news staggered Fluttershy. She wasn't even close to what you'd call a scientist, but she knew that such a thing was an incredible discovery. "Y-You mean... I found an alien in the Everfree fore-"

She stopped her sentence short as she noticed the creature sit up. Twilight, on the other hoof, was totally oblivious. "Um, what was that, Fluttershy? You just kinda stopped mid... sentence..." She spun around when she realized Fluttershy was starring at something behind, and that the only thing behind her was the creature.

The creature yawned loudly. Making a sound suspiciously similar to a goat's bleating, Fluttershy tipped over.

Twilight hadn't even written her letter yet.

Fearing what might happen if she were to make a sound and attract its attention, she slowly, deliberately, started stepping backwards, carefully dragging Fluttershy after her by the tail. She was almost out of the room when her hoof landed on a weaker board, letting out a long and loud creak that forced her ears to clamp down on her head.

The creature stopped, sleep pushed out of its mind by the sound. Twilight tensed, her entire body freezing up as its eyes settled on her, widening. Please don't attack, please don't attack... she prayed. Swallowing her fear after many moments of nothing happening, which she considered a good thing, she cleared her throat and prepared to speak.

"H-hello, my name is, uh..." She started lamely, unnerved by the continued starring.

The creature pinched it's arm. Somehow, this made it recoil from the two ponies, pushing itself against the wall. Panicked breathes escaped from it's mouth, the only sound in the room. Slowly, it raised a shaking finger at them.

"Am I dreaming?"

The question was as far from what Twilight expected as she could have imagined, and was in Equestrian to boot. The strange nature of the conversation was making the coat on the back of her neck stand on end. "No...?"

"Either you haven't become self aware, or I'm not dreaming," it said, sounding more like it was reassuring itself of something than making an observation. The bed creaked quietly as the creature, a 'he' from the sound of the voice (at least she hoped it was a 'he'), settled itself into the matters, retracting from the wall and taking a more relaxed, if tense, posture.

"Why are you so intent on dreams? That doesn't seem like it should be important right now, considering the circumstances," Twilight noted cautiously, hoping that she didn't somehow offend him.

He snorted, completely lacking mirth. "But it's very important, Twilight. If I'm dreaming, I don't need to worry. If I'm not, then everything I know is gone."

At first the purple unicorn was confused, the vaugeness of his sentance telling her almost nothing about why something as irrelevant as dreaming needed to be discussed, before she startled with realization. "H-How do you know my name? " she demanded, suddenly on the defensive. Her horn lit up with magical energy that was without a spell to channel into.

"Woah woah woah, watch the magic!" said the creature, raising his hands in the universal sign of 'please don't hurt me.' "I'm not a spy or something. You don't need to murder me."

Twilight's magic dissipated into the air. She was losing her calm, and that wouldn't help talk to this creature and figure out how he knew her name. "Sorry, just... you can probably guess how unnerving it is to have an alien know your name." She paused. "... Are you physic?"

It smirked. "Yes, I'm a physic. you will be thinking of donuts in two seconds."

A brief silence settled over the room, before Twilight's eyes widened. Then she scowled. "This doesn't seem like a time for you to be joking around."

It smiled regardless. "Hey, it's not my fault that I'm trying to cope. Mostly."

"What do you mean, cope?"

Taking a deep breath, the creature leaned back against the wall, staring at the ceiling for a few moments, seeming to collect its thoughts. Twilight was intrigued with how similar its behavior was to that of a regular pony. It was making jokes, it was talking, and those two similarities was unnerving. Coincidences like this just didn't happen, especially when she factored in that they were speaking the same language.

"Well, imagine yourself having an ordinary day. You wake up, you do everything you need to to get ready for what's to come, and you step out the door, only your suddenly waking up in a bed in a room that you've never been in before, with beings out of your imagination poking and prodding you."

Twilight had the decency to look slightly ashamed.

It sighed, releasing a breath. "You can probably imagine that your average Joe wouldn't handle something like that very well."

Slowly, Fluttershy raised herself from the floor. She suddenly felt sympathy for this creature, even after it had frightened her so recently. With caution, she pulled herself onto the bed, trying to ignore the mildly intrigued stare that she was getting from it. Pushing her nerves away, Fluttershy sat next to him.

He beat her to talking. "May I help you?"

Fluttershy started shivering. "I-I'm sorry."

She got no other reaction other than, "For what?"

For a moment, the Pegasus didn't speak. "For what happened to you."

The creature looked away, sighing. "You don't have to apologize for something you didn't do, you know. It isn't like it was your fault," it said quietly. Even as it rejected her apology, Fluttershy could see that it had relaxed even more, apparently less on edge.

"Well I'm still sorry, i-if that's alright."

Its laughter startled both Twilight and Fluttershy, making both of them jump. "At least I know you're you," it joked, smiling.
Fluttershy sat there confused, before the creature stood up, stretching and cracking his back. "I'm Braxton by the way. Nice to, uh, meet you two for the first time."

Braxton started walking towards the door, before getting tugged back into it by a glowing aura that surrounded him. "Where do you think you're going?" Twilight demanded.

"I... have no clue. But I'm doing it anyways!" he exclaimed as he ran out the door, suddenly free from the unicorn's spell.

Twilight face-hoofed. "I need more caffeine."

Captar teh Tihrd

Twilight sighed wearily as soon as Braxton was out of the room. Pulling the door closed with her magic, the unicorn smiled. "That could have gone worse. Much, much worse."

Re-opening the door, Twilight and Fluttershy moved towards the door at a relaxed pace, one happy the alien wasn't bad, and the other itching to send her discoveries to the princess. They both froze as thunking sounds echoed from the stairway, followed shortly by a sharp intake of breath.

"Oh dear," Fluttershy whispered, rushing out of the room, any sense of the brief calm gone. She whipped around the corner, halting with a gasp at the stairs.

Splayed out at the bottom of the stairs was Braxton, back arched. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...."

"Oh my goodness, are all right?" Fluttershy flew down to him, glancing over him for any obvious injuries. She didn't find any. "Where does it hur-"

"YOU SICK BASTARDS ARE LAUGHING, AREN'T YOU?" Braxton yelled at the ceiling, ignoring Fluttershy. "I BET YOU'RE ALL GIGGLING AT MY PLIGHT!"

Totally confused, Fluttershy tried to calm him down. "Um, please stop shouting, you're disturbing the-"

"THIS IS WHY I'M AN ATHEIST, YOU KNOW!"

Gradually, Braxton's calm returned. He lay still on the wooden floorboards, a radical shift from the screaming he had just been doing. Neither Twilight or Fluttershy knew how to react to what he had said, both subconsciously deciding that Braxton was insane.

"Oddly enough, that was very soothing. You guys should try it sometime," he said casually, wincing slightly as he stood up.

In an instant, Fluttershy was supporting him to the best of ability, despite being half his height. "Don't stand up too fast if it hurts."

Slowly, Braxton sat himself back down onto the floor. "You know what? This will sound kinda weird, but I could use some sleep. Peace." He lay down, closed his eyes, and instantly fell asleep.

"Great. Now he's unconscious again," said Twilight, exasperated. She used her telekinesis to lift him into the air, and trotted up the stairs with him in tow. "We may as well take this chance and show him to the others while he's sleeping. It will probably go smoother this way."

Fluttershy nodded. If Braxton wasn't awake to help cause more confusion than his presence alone seemed to cause, introducing her friends to him would have a lot less stressful moments, she figured.

"Fluttershy, stay here and look after him, I'll go and get everypony else," ordered Twilight as she came back down the stairs, Saddlebags on her back.

"I-It's my house, you know..." Fluttershy tried to remind the unicorn of this apparently forgotten piece of knowledge, but she went unnoticed. As usual.

Please don't wake up while I'm alone, please don't wake up while I'm alone....

Awareness slowly came to Braxton. He could feel the cushion of the couch he was laying on. With his eyes still completely closed, he realized that he must have fallen asleep in his basement when he stayed up playing video games. He certainly wasn't in his bed, that was for sure.

Shifting his body to get more comfortable, even though he was plenty comfortable already. A quiet conversation that he hadn't known was going on right next to him suddenly halted for a second, before resuming in even more hushed voices that Braxton strained to pick up.

"I'm telling you Pinkie, it just has to be a spy of some sort! Why else would something so strange be in the Everfree Forest? It can't just be coincidence!"

"Oh Dashie, you should being a paranoiy-baloney, and wait 'till it wakes up! Maybe it just wants a cupcake by yours truly!"

"Pinkie, I doubt it even knows what a cupcake-"

Only now realizing that he was starving, Braxton sat up as fast as he could. The comforter that was draped over him fell to the floorboards as both "Dashie" and Pinkie Pie jumped with surprise. Completely taken by surprise at his surroundings, Braxton blinked. He looked at the cerulean Pegasus and pink pony in front of him.

Subconsciously, he recognized the two as Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash. His conscious mind, however, took a little longer. Staring at them, a heavy silence entered the room for may seconds. Then, "Holy crap, Best Pony!"

Rainbow Dash, for her part, was confused. Pinkie Pie, on the other hand, seemed to know exactly what was happening somehow. She pulled a cupcake from a pocket that didn't exist, and held it out in front of Braxton. He stared at it for many moments, taking in the spiral of the frosting and the darkness of the chocolate cake.

With a reverence that he doubted either of the two would ever understand, Braxton took the cupcake into his own hand. Slowly and carefully, he unwrapped the confection, and took a large bite out it. His eyes watered as the pure and whole wonder of its divine taste flooded through him. He knew that there would never be a moment that would top this in his memory. Then he remembered what had happened before he fell asleep.

"...Are you two real?"

Pinkie nodded, seeming to totally understand his question and why he would ask it. "Is that cupcake real?"

He thought on that. Looking into every little air bubble in the previously un-baked batter, he decided that regardless of whether he was dreaming or not, the opportunity was one that shouldn't be passed up. "It does seem to be that way, doesn't it?"

"Could you really taste a cupcake if it wasn't real?"

"Taste can be imagined, and is not solid evidence of something existence. Tastes great, though."

"Good enough for me!" Pinkie exclaimed happily, not interested in whether or not the world as she knew it was real. Rainbow Dash, on the other hand, was interested in something completely different from reality.

"Pinkie... what did you... how do know this thing!?" she said, clearly confused.

Pinkie was oblivious. "I don't! What gave you that idea, Dashie?"

Dumbfounded, Rainbow Dash shook her head. "You know what? This isn't worth questioning. More importantly... what are you?" she said, directing her attention to Braxton, who had finished his cupcake and currently had crumbs all over his face.

"I am the luckiest person in the world."

Rainbow Dash impatiently snorted. "Sure, whatever, but answer the question," she said.

"I did," Braxton said while still staring at Pinkie as if he couldn't believe his eyes.

"Not with the right answer, you didn't. You're no pony, so what. Are. You," Rainbow dash said slowly, feeling like it was the only he was going to understand her words.

"I'm a human. Deal with it!" he said. Randomly, Pinkie pulled out sunglasses and shoved them onto Braxton's face as he crossed his arms.

"Wha-" Rainbow began, before getting a pink hoof shoved onto her muzzle, effectively stopping the sentence.

Pinkie Pie grinned. "My Pinkie Sense was tingling."

Taking off the sunglasses, which had somehow not dislodged his broken pair, Braxton looked at the pink pony. "What Pinkie Sense is that?"

"Well, when my right eye twitches, it means somebody needs sunglasses pronto!" she said proudly.

Braxton stroked a beard that didn't exist. "What if it's your left eye that's twitching?"

She thought for a moment. "That means somepony's psyche just snapped!"

He nodded. "Makes sense to me."

Bewildered by how... familiar the two were, Rainbow Dash felt the need to intervene before somehow they started planning a party. "Okay, uh... Pinkie? Are you sure you don't know this guy?"

Pinkie Pie nodded enthusiastically. "Pretty sure!"

Before he could be questioned about his knowledge of the Pinkie Sense, Braxton redirected the conversation. "So where's Twilight and Fluttershy? They were here before."

With a burst of excitement, Pinkie started flailing her hoof in the air. "Oh! Oh! Pick me, pick me!"

Looking between the two possible choices, Braxton examined both of the ponies. With faked hesitation, he pointed at Pinkie. "You."

Instantly, she returned to a calm state. "They went to go get Applejack and Rarity!"

Braxton nodded. It made sense that Twilight would opt for showing him to her closest friends first; she trusted them. At the same time, if he was revealed to all of Ponyvillie, he was pretty sure that he would end up getting chased by an angry mob or something, which wouldn't help him remain as controlled as he was. The shock of being in Equestria was still yet to come, or his mental insistence that he could still be dreaming was working as a coping method. He just hoped it would keep working.

At that moment, Braxton heard the front door open. "Alright, before I show you to the, uh, thing, you need to promise not to faint or freak out or anything like that, okay?"

Pinkie Pie perked up. "That must be them now!" she whispered, as if she was about to spring a surprise birthday party on somebody. She hopped downstairs excitedly and greeted the new arrivals. "Hi guys! The thing-that-I-can't-tell-you-about-until-you-see-it-yourselves is upstairs!"

A southern drawl came up the stairs. "Ya'll must think this is something real important. This better not be another surprise pie to the face like last week, Pinkie."

The next voice sounded definitively fancy. "Don't fret Applejack, I'm sure that was a one time thing, right Pinkie?"

"Of course it is, Rarity! I would never reuse the same prank until at least a year has gone by and nopony will be expecting it! Isn't that right Fluttershy?"

"Well, um, I-I'm not an expert on pranking, so I'll take your word for it."

"Well, if'n Fluttershy don't think we're gonna get hit by a pie, then that's good enough for me!"

Hoofsteps echoed into the room from the stairway, and a sudden nervousness came over Braxton. If any of them freaked out, then his chances of keeping the hopefully-a-dream fun and happiness would go down. A lot.

He sat on the bed, in plain view, as Fluttershy, Rarity, Twilight, and Applejack entered the room. Twilight and Fluttershy bumped into the two ponies in front of them as the stopped, staring wide-eyed at Braxton. He smiled awkwardly and waved. "Uh, hi."

Rarity fainted.

A/N: I now have a sweet author by the name of Saekwaka! He helps make this story suck less, which is usually a good thing! Give him your love!

This is the Fourth One

Never before had an awkward moment such as this find its way into Braxton's life. He was far from the suavest of the suave, but this was a level of awkward far beyond being the third wheel in a conversation. In fact, it felt so awkward that to him, it transcended levels and was simply "really awkward."

"So, uh... nice weather?" he joked lamely, completely unaware of what the weather was like. For all he knew, there could be three feet of snow outside.

Applejack swallowed nervously. "So, this is the surprise, then?"

Braxton nodded slowly, scratching the back of his head. Seconds passed that felt like hours each, and nobody spoke. A silence that almost seemed solid filled the room as all eyes were either on Braxton or in the distance.

That is, until Pinkie dramatically gestured at him like the curtain had been pulled away. "Ta da~!"

Applejack shook her head as if she were coming out of a trance. "What exactly is it? Don't look like nothin' I ever seen before," she asked Twilight, as if Braxton wasn't a few feet away.

He tried to draw the farm pony's attention by waving his hands. "I exist, you know!"

Choosing to ignore him, Applejack whispered, "How did it get here?"

Twilight was about to answer, when Pinkie beat her to the draw. "He fell from the sky, silly! Everypony knows aliens come from the sky! This is basic knowledge, Applejack," she explained with disappointment in her voice. Then she flopped onto the bed next to Braxton and started rolling on it.

Shrugging, Braxton turned to everypony else. "Life at its most logical."

She glanced at him. "What? This thing is comfy."

Applejack fixed Braxton with an unamused glare. "Ah think I'd like to get a bit better explanation than Pinkie's."

Getting the hint, Braxton cleared his throat. "Um, I fell from the sky, I guess?"

Applejack smacked herself in the face.

"Alright, I guess I can maaaybe do a bit better than that. Anyways, this is all I know..."

"...And then Emperor Spock just said 'screw it' and kicked him into the Cthulhu pit," said Braxton, wrapping up his explanation. Pinkie applauded.

Twilight, on the other hoof, was far from entertained. "What in Celestia's name are you blathering about!? That had absolutely nothing to do with anything!" she yelled.

Rainbow Dash tried to hold back her laughter. "I think that was a great explanation Twilight. I don't think it could any more sense than that!"

Smiling, Braxton started over. "Okay, I know you might be shocked, but that didn't really happen. To be honest, I have no clue how I got here. One minute, I was minding my own business, and the next I wake up in a weird room, then I'm here. Fluttershy knows as much as I do!"

Heads turned expectantly towards the Pegasus, who had so far said little to nothing. She shied away from all of their gazes, obviously uncomfortable with the attention she was getting. "I-I saw him falling through some clouds, and I went to rescue him b-because he fell into the Everfree F-Forest and I thought he was a Pegasus," she said, getting quieter every word she spoke.

Twilight pondered the information. Nopony had any clue why or how this alien had suddenly appeared in Equestria, even the creature itself. Any theories she had were vague explanations, because as far as she knew, no aliens had visited Equestria before. At least I can study his species in depth, though that will have to wait until later.

As everypony pondered, Twilight remembered something. "Wait, you still haven't told us how you knew our names!"

Eyebrows were raised at Braxton. He looked reluctant under their questioning gazes, as if he were confessing to a crime. Applejack grew impatient as the silence stretched on, and on, and on...

"Get on with it!" She stamped her hoof in annoyance.

Braxton took deep breathes, calming himself. The best case scenario was that they assumed he was insane, and the worst case scenario was that they all reflected on the falseness of their lives and became depressed. This was going to be fun for everyone, he could tell already.

He couldn't just leave them in the dark, especially since they were suspicus already. Who wouldn't be, when something falls from the sky and just knows the names of everypony already. Heck, Twilight probably thought he was some sort of extra terrestrial stalker.

Because everybody assumes that, he mentally berated himself. He was getting off track and had let yet another silence enter the room. This needed to be done before he somehow convinced himself that he shouldn't do it.

"Do you want the short version or the long version?" he asked, still hoping to avoid going into detail at the very least.

"Everything," Twilight said, hungry for knowledge.

Braxton sighed. Looks like this was the big moment. Here goes nothing...

"Well, in my world, there's this thing called TV. Do you guys have that?" Everypony shook their heads. "Well, it's a box with a glass screen on the front that a moving image is projected onto. Shows get displayed on it, like plays sort of. There was one show that tons of people watched, called..." Despite himself, he paused unnecessarily for dramatic effect. "...My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. The main characters of the show were Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Applejack."

Everypony was stunned into a shocked silence. Nopony moved or made a sound. They just stood there as they tried to digest that information. They were just some sort of... entertainment on the alien's planet? That was how he knew about them? A glass-screened box was the reason this alien knew their names.

For some reason that he could not explain in the slightest, Braxton continued. "The show was about the adventures of these six mares, focusing on the friendship lessons that Twilight Sparkle learned after them. Defeating Nightmare Moon, the dragon, an obnoxious show-mare, a hydra, a cockatrice, solving the buffalo problems in Appleoosa, The Grand Galloping Gala, sealing Discord away, the-"

His rant was cut off by a hoof that was set on his shoulder. He turned to see Pinkie Pie looking at him with a reassuring smile. Inwardly, he breathed a sigh of relief. At least one pony wasn't freaking out.

"Did they write me well?" she asked with a straight face.

For a moment, he didn't comprehend what she said... Then he fell onto the bed laughing like a maniac. Tears were streaming down his face as all of the stress that had slowly built up was released by one little sentence, albeit a hilarious one.

He tried with little success to talk. "T-That was... the best... thing... ever."

Pinkie looked confused, and glanced at her friends for support. "Why's he laughing? That wasn't a joke."

Rainbow Dash blinked suddenly, and looked around. "I just remembered that Rarity is still unconscious."

Braxton started laughing harder.

Frowning, Rainbow Dash flared her wings and glared and him. "Hey! That's not funny!"

"I'm sorry, I just, my brain... it doesn't even...." He tried to finish his thought, but quickly succumbed to his laughter again.

Twilight, as unamused as Rainbow Dash was about the constant and uncontrolled laughter was coming from Braxton, lifted the unconscious Rarity with her magic and started down the stairs. "I'm going to go write a letter to the princess. She needs to see you for herself," she said as she descended.

Finally gaining control of himself, Braxton sat up again. "Oh man, I hope she doesn't decide to shoot me with a laser from her horn or something," he said jokingly." that would really suck."

Celestia loved it when things actually went like they were supposed to in her court. On any given day that she could remember, there was at least one pony who decided that her court would be just the best place for a rant about something or other that didn't affect anypony besides themselves; and usually went on for a good hour. For appearances sake, she had to nod at their ideas and act like she was listening. Fun.

Today, however, was completely rant free as of yet, and she was about to close court for lunch. While she didn't actually require food - being an alicorn and whatnot - it still gave her energy and tasted good. Plus, it had the amazing benefit of making ponies fat if you ate too much. Sometimes she wished there was such a thing as healthy cake. Everything would seem a little bit better with healthy cake.

Before she could do anything that had to do with cake, she had to finish court.

It was something about donating to an art museum that he was opening. She agreed, signing the papers he presented.

The stallion bowed as he backed away towards the large doorway that lead out of the court. "Thank you, your majesty."

As soon as he was gone, her regal posture was replaced with a much more relaxed one. Lighting her horn, Celestia removed her royal garments, cracking her neck. It's the little things in life, she thought happily.

Charging more magic to her horn, she teleported right outside her personal chambers. By now, the guard that stood watch outside didn't even blink at the sudden flash of light in his face. Celestia turned to him. "Would you kindly tell the chef to bring the usual lunch to my chambers?"

The guard nodded stiffly and quickly trotted down the hall in the direction of the kitchen. Celestia went inside and immediately flopped onto the large and plush purple cushion that sat behind her desk. For a moment, she simply enjoyed the feeling of looking as un-regal as possible. She closed her eyes and almost fell asleep when a pop above her head brought her to attention.

Yawning silently, Celestia glanced at the letter that was suddenly sitting on the middle of her desk. Smiling, she opened it, glad to see that Twilight had learned yet another friendship lesson. She remembered back to when she sent the letter instructing the unicorn to go to Ponyvillie and make friends. A tiny part of her had doubted that Twilight could do it. There was only so much actual interaction one could partake in as the protegee student of Celestia herself.

If Nightmare moon hadn't made herself known in Ponyvillie, she realized, Twilight might not have bonded with the other Elements of Harmony. Chuckling inwardly at the strangeness of that thought, she lifted Twilight's letter to her face, opened it, and began to read. She immediately knew something was off, because it was much shorter than any letter she had gotten from Twilight before. There were only a few sentences, and if the alicorn was reading them right, strange things were happening indeed.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Please hurry to Ponyvillie. Fluttershy has found a possible alien life form in the Everfree Forest, and I believe you may be able to shed some light on the matter.

P.S: It has a weird sense of humor.

Reading over the letter a few more times, she sighed. Of course this comes up right before lunch and relaxation. Charging up her horn with another teleportation spell, Celestia decided to go the very fast route and appear at Fluttershy's front door. Hopefully, this was just some sort of misunderstanding. If not, then there was a whole new race to share the world with. That could complicate this some.

Celestia cast the spell, disappearing from the room instantly. As soon as the light was gone, the door cracked open. "Your meal has arrived, Celestia, come and get... it?" The chef trailed off as he realized the room was entirely devoid of the princess.

Irritated, he muttered under his breath. "She always does this on Wednesday..."

A/N: Welp, I got off my lazy bum and wrote some more. Yay me.

I actually really like how the Celestia section turned out. I managed to write the whole thing in one day, which in and of itself is impressive considering my ability to work for more than an hour straight. I think I did a pretty good job too. At least, I hope I did. Maybe I'm just delusional. Anyways, enjoy, and if you see any grammar failings I made, point them out.

I Now am Writing Number Five

Almost as soon as Twilight sent the letter, she heard a knock on the door. Wow. I sent that letter only a few minutes ago, she thought. She hoped she wasn't keeping Celestia from anything important. Instantly, every possible way she might be inconveniencing her mentor in the slightest flashed through her head, and the unicorn started sweating suddenly.

Suddenly more nervous than she was less than ten seconds ago, Twilight grabbed the front door's handle in her magic and twisted. As she thought, It was the princess, wearing that smile Twilight always saw her with. "Good afternoon, Twilight. If you don't mind, this is a matter that needs to be dealt with quickly," she said politely.

"Yes, uh, of course! This way!" Twilight exclaimed nervously. Quickly turning around, Twilight escorted the princess through Fluttershy's house. Every few seconds, the unicorn glanced over her shoulder to check on Celestia, as if she might disappear somehow.

"I'm fine Twilight. No need to worry so much," Celestia said as she flashed Twilight a reassuring smile. Feeling slightly better, Twilight led her up the stairs, stopping in front of the door that opened into the room with Braxton in it.

Taking one last deep breath, Twilight prepared herself for something ridiculous to happen. A feeling in her gut was telling her that this was not going to work out. "Well... here goes nothing," she whispered to herself as the princess and her entered the room.

Braxton glanced at the two as they entered, then stared straight into Celestia's eyes. 1000 years of ruling a nation granted Celestia the world's greatest poker face, and she used it to stare right back at him. For many seconds, nothing happened. Then Braxton slowly swallowed. "For the sake of formalities, I'm just gonna go ahead and bow." He got off the bed he was sitting on and got onto one knee.

Celestia scanned over him, eyes darting around quickly. It must have an understanding of what royalty is, then. Or Twilight told it to do this, Celestia thought. It also speaks our language. How curious.

"What is your species called and where do you come from?" Celestia spoke in her "diplomat" voice. Braxton stood up from his kneeling position. Subconsciously, Celestia noted that he was roughly her height, only a few inches shorter.

"Members of my species are called humans. I come from earth," he said calmly.

"And what exactly is a human?" she asked. This alien could be entirely different than any other, and she wanted a bigger picture.

For a moment, a smile flashed across Braxton's face. "A miserable pile of secrets."

That manged to disrupt Celestia's poker face. "What?"

"Nothing. Humans, for the most part, look like me. Our skin varies from dark brown to a pale pinkish, our 'manes' can be different lengths, and we can be different sizes. Some of us are also slightly mean," Braxton explained, holding back a grin.

A frown settled onto Celestia's face. "What do you mean by 'mean'?" she asked cautiously.

"Hitler mean."

"Can I please have a context for that?"

Looking around the room, Braxton noticed everypony else in the room silently observing the conversation. He didn't feel like letting all of them know what the Holocaust was. "Could we go somewhere more private?"

Celestia nodded, and they left the room and went downstairs. Neither of them spoke while they descended, silent as they went into the main room of Fluttershy's home and sat down on a plush green sofa in the room.

"What is the worst thing to happen in Equestrian history?" Braxton asked, looking straight into the princesses eyes. She sighed, memories coming back to her.

"The worst thing that ever happened to Equestria was when Discord, a spirit of chaos, usurped the throne and took power for many centuries. Luna and I eventually defeated him with the Elements of Harmony, powerful magical artifacts, and peace was restored." Celestia stared back at Braxton. "Why do you ask?"

Braxton was resisting the urge to stop following this conversation, but now he couldn't back out. "Before I answer that, did anypony, uh.... die?"

The question took Celestia by complete surprise, and for a few moments, she said nothing. Blinking many times, she cast a concerned glance at Braxton. "Discord didn't directly kill anypony. That wasn't his goal," she explained, hoping that the subject of death would get dropped. She was wrong.

Leaning back into the sofa, Braxton looked at the ceiling, apparently finding it more interesting than the literal goddess sitting next to him. "Hitler was a man who caused the death of more than six million people."

The sofa shook as Celestia flinched, before looking at Braxton with some fear in her eyes. "Six million? But that's..."

"That's the reaction I was expecting. You have your context; let's move on, shall we?"

Slowly, Celestia nodded. "Yes, let's do that... Why are you here?"

Braxton looked at her and gave an exaggerated shrug. "I have no clue why I'm here, or how I got here, even. I've said it already, but I just woke up here in Fluttershy's cottage after she found me when I fell into the Everfree Forest," he explained.

"You fell into the Everfree Forest?" Celestia asked, confused. That's something I haven't heard before, she thought.

"Apparently. If Fluttershy can be believed, which I'm pretty sure she can, then she saw me falling through clouds before I landed in the Everfree Forest."

Celestia thought for many moments, unsure of how exactly that happened. Was the land he came from in the sky, somehow undetected by any Pegasus? That couldn't be; She and Luna had ventured everywhere they could eons ago. This didn't make any sense!

"What exactly were you doing before you woke up in the forest?" Celestia wanted as much information as possible if it could explain the sudden appearance of a new species.

"The last thing I can remember is being in a this weird room with floors and walls that... shifted. This voice started telling me I was going to somewhere I knew, there was a bright light, and then I was here." He shrugged. "Does that help?"

Frowning, Celestia took a deep breath to calm herself. "It only adds more questions to the ones I already had," she said quietly, almost to herself. "You said the voice was sending you somewhere you knew, and now you're here. How do you know this place?"

Subconsciously, Braxton cracked his knuckles. "Well, it goes something like this..."

As Braxton finished explaining, Celestia took a moment to digest what she had been told. Wherever the alien came from, the inhabitants there had somehow recreated events that concerned Twilight. Casting a quick glance at the stairway, Celestia hoped that the news didn't set her pupil on edge somehow. Braxton had already told them all, according to him, so the best thing that the Princess could do was hope they'd be fine.

"Well, this is certainly not how I was expecting this to go," Celestia said with mirth, smiling. "Never before has anypony told me that I'm a cartoon character. The audacity you posses is overwhelming!"

"If there's one thing I'm not, it's audacious," Braxton glanced at Celestia, "You seem to be taking this pretty well; better than I am."

The subtle sadness in his voice did not get by Celestia's ears. "What do you mean?"

Before responding, Braxton pinched himself, flinching slightly. "I'm not coping well with being completely and probably permanently separated from my family. I just..." Wiping away a small tear that had formed in his eye, Braxton sighed. "I would've thought coming to Equestria would be a little happier."

Celestia wrapped a wing around Braxton to try and comfort him. It always made her uncomfortable to see anything this distressed, and by now, doing so was a reflex to her; though it startled Braxton. "I don't have experience with traveling to different worlds, so I'm not sure how to comfort you, but know this; you are welcome here so long as you behave."

Scooting out from the princess' wing, Braxton gave a small chuckle. "Then I guess I'm going to have to straighten out my act. I've already given possible trauma to six ponies."

With a snort, Celestia retracted her wing. "They are tougher than you probably give them credit for. I am certain they will be fine, though you may have to give them some time to get used to your presence," she said with some pride, leading Braxton to guess that she had Twilight foremost in her mind.

"I can only hope they'll be fine. You know what? I'm gonna go check right now." Standing up quickly, Braxton walked up the wooden steps and peered into the room where the Mane Six were. They were conversing too quietly for him to hear anything being said, but Rarity seemed to have woken up and was part of the conversation with the rest of them.

As soon as he was noticed, they all grew silent, staring at him with slightly fearful eyes. Taking initiative, Twilight spoke first. "Oh, um, we were just uh... talking about... stuff..." she trailed off as Braxton gave her a deadpan expression.

"I know that what I told you probably isn't settling with any of you very easily, but..." He looked at Pinkie Pie, who waved happily at him. He waved back. "Just know that you're all awesome, alright? Don't get depressed or something because of me. I'd feel bad and stuff," Braxton finished lamely.

Each of them gave him a different look. Pinkie seemed completely unfazed by any of it, content with the apology. Twilight looked on edge, but smiled appreciatively regardless. Rainbow Dash barely looked at him, deep in thought. Fluttershy was peeking out from Applejack, who was scrutinizing him. Rarity was shaking slightly, which sent a pang of guilt through Braxton.

"Anyways, I'm gonna go back downstairs and keep talking with Celestia. Don't plot out how to defeat me if I turn out to be evil or anything like that!" he said over his shoulder as he left the room. Once he was gone, the mares went back to talking in hushed tones.

After every question asked was answered, Celestia nodded, satisfied with the information that had been gathered. Looking out the window, she realized it was almost 5:00 in the afternoon, and she stood up from the sofa. "Thank you for answering all of my questions, Braxton. I must return to the palace, my sister is probably worried sick by now," she said formally, a habit picked up from dealing with officials for as long as she could remember.

"Huh. Somehow, I thought you wouldn't actually leave. Weird," Braxton said as he got up at the same time. "Would it be possible to keep this quiet? I'd prefer to not deal with crowds of reporters asking me if I come from Mars."

Celestia gave a confused look at him as they walked toward the door. "I thought you said you come from Earth?"

"Never mind, just don't tell anybody, please?" he pleaded dramatically, giving Celestia puppy eyes. She chuckled, then lit her horn up, opening the door.

"I won't; at least not immediately," she said, laughing. Before Braxton could manage a response, she teleported away with a bright flash. Once he could see again, Braxton looked around and sighed.

"Why'd she even open the door?"

A/N: Well, despite what you may have thought, I am indeed still alive. I'm sorry it took so long for me to get off my lazy butt and finish another chapter, but hopefully the next one will come out a little faster than this one did. If you think really hard about it, maybe it will even come true!

Edited by Saekwaka.