My Little Pony: Friendship is Cancer
A Fanfiction By Steven Robuttnick.
onse opuon a time thear was a plac calld ponyviel and it was fild wit PONIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111111111111111111111111111 de ponis livd togutehr edn did al kinsd of stuff . de hiros of our stery are twilite sparkl DE BAST PONI EVERRRRRRRRR IF U DONT LIKE HER KEEP UR MEEN OPION TO YOU'RESELF pickle pae rooriteh rainbo desh WHO IS A GAY MEAINE U STOPED GEI PEEPLA appljekc end flotarshy WHO I GHATE CUZ OD TAT EPIZOSDE WHER SHEZ MEEN 2 PINKLE END ROORITEH I HOP SHE DEDS anyways or heroz one dai goto buy stuf and dengldgjklarjlkjfdskgdsvcxzwjeiisjlksgnskdgnklsnvxlkoi96ughjbm,jijlghhvg
...
"Heroes."
Hmph. You mindless buffoon. You call a bunch of horses "heroes"? No wonder I had to silence you. I had enough of this.
My turn.
It was an avarage day at Ponyville. The Mane Si- Wait, "Mane"? Who wrote this? Anyways, the Main Six were all busy with their pathetic lives. Twilight was busy doing the work of others, Pinkie was busy being brain damaged, Applejack was busy being a southern stereotype, Rainbow Dash was busy with her attention whore antics, Rarity was busy being a drama queen and Fluttershy was busy being pushed around by everyone because of her lack of confidence and social skills. Typical stuff, y'know.
Only that today. Things...
Will be diffirent.
That means that something else will attack the town instead of a giant monster. Y'see? Anyways, Ponyville was quiet that day, nothing out of the ordinary. However, suddenly, a noise resembling the one of a thunder came from the sky. The ponies looked above them and saw the skies getting ripped in half. One of the ponies, I think the one wearing a wig, looked displeased. And said with a bored look on his face "Why are y'all surprised? That kind of thing happens every month now." and then walked off. The rest of the ponies kept looking at the sky for the next 6 minutes. Suddenly, something "fell" from the sky. A thing nopony-
...
...a thing nobody has ever seen before. And that thing was...
PINK GUY!
The Sexiest Man Alive dropped from the sky and landed on top of a hay stack just like one of those hooded guys. Pink Guy arose from the hay stack with no scratch laid on him and said "can i hab de pussi pls?". The residents of ponyville could not deny Pink Guy's 25 inch Bagguete. And all of them got into a line so they can have sexual congress with The Sexiest Man Alive. The first one in line was a green pony named Lyra. Pink Guy was inside a tent, and him and Lyra got inside. Lyra was blushing uncontrollably, and Pink Guy took out his 25 inch bagguete. Lyra's face was red. And her cheesecake was reacting. Pink guy said "letz begin b0ss" and inserted his bagguete inside Lyra's cheescake. After 30 minutes of instense pleasure, Lyra moaned louder than ever and Pink guy covered her in Mayonaise. Lyra got out of the tent, super messy. Sprouting words like "His haaaaaaands were amaaaaaaazing...!". Pink guy eventually covered everyone in Mayonaise, and after he was done. He got out of the tent and started breakdancing, while beatboxing the words "gibe it, gibe it, gibe it, pussi b0ss".
Meanwhile, on Canterlot. Princess Celestia was sitting on her throne eating a banana flavored cake. Typical stuff, y'know. Eventually, a letter by Spike was sent to her, and she-
Wait... What?! WHAT ARE YOU- NO, NO, STOP. GET AWAY, GET AWAAAAAAA-
*pomf*
...
pwincess cerlestia goet a littar by spyke spyke sed 2 her dat evryoan in ponyvil waz covard in mayonaiz celestia got sads and tried 2do somting. she eveuntuely sed "imma call twilite 4 dis" and calld twilite . twilite w
as call and aksd wat wasproblam. "evryoan in ponivil iz mayo pls halp" sed celestoia. twilite lokd at celloeastisa end sed "k" den colrestio esked 2 hav secks wit er bfor leave twilite sed "k" end secks hapen.
after secks, twilite walked 2 get her friandz yes walked not flyed SHE HAS NO WINGZ FUCK YOU SEZON TREE end went 2 dashes haus. twilite knecked de door but dor waz opan end twilite got insaid she den sho rainbo masterbating to fnaf porn of purple gaiz car twilite sed "k" end slapd rainbo's ass den secks happen agin. twilite and rainbo
den wnt 2 pickle's haus.
pickle pae waz on her haus twilite knock dor end dor o
pen pickle pae waz coverd in BL0LB end pickle sed "Whatchu wan' you little nigga?" twilite sed "k" en
d got pickle pae. twilite den went 2 rooriteh's haus end knockd dor rooriteh waz insaid end she was criying cuz she red fifty s
haedz of bacon twilite said "k" and told rooriteh 2 stfu end go with her rooriteh agreed and went with twilite.
twilite and co den went 2 flotarshy's shed end dey faound flotarshy and appljeck fiteing twilite sed "k" end brok de fite den flo
tarshy end appljeck hugged end becaem best friandz forevar twlite sed "k" end den she end de rest of da mane six went to go fite pink gai.
brb hav 2 feed cat my brothr wil cuntinu
yoyo twiLIgHt, PinkIe Pie,,, RainbO Dash,,,, RaRiTee An' ApPLejack $tood Ynn FroNT O'' PinK GUAyy. Pink GUayYYY Were $tilll BREakdancIN fawrrr $um ReasoN An' $eS "CAN AH HaBB Uhh $oap PlS"" TWiLiGHt $ess "k" An' DA Mane $ix THann CHargeDD Att PInK gUaYy. yoo Pink Guayy $pIndaShed towardS DA maNEE $ix an' Kicked applejACk YNN Da HEad. ApPleJAcK $ED "Ya' li'l cockmongler, i'll kick yo' upside th' haid an' shove an apple down yer throat! Fry mah hide!" HEy PLAya, APpLEjacKK Thn GrabBeDD Pink Guayy An' TrieD TA $hOvee A ApPle doWn hes throat. pInk hOwevUh $HOveddd ApPLEJack AWaayyyyy Wif Hes ManLeeee ButTocks,, An' ApplEjAckkk Endedd Uhpp UnconciouS. ·:*:·£øvÊ
k im back thx bro
Nahh ProbLem LiL NIqQa.
de mane six den startd slapin pink gaiz assssssssssssssssss but pink gai waz nto effect!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pink den hit twilite in de ass end sed "psssst nothin personell kid" end den twilite kik pink gai in de armpit and pink gai ded !!!@#$%^&*
twilte denglyjsgdlsafklsjdfdsfsafjdslfsa
*bonk*
Shutupshutupshutup! I hate you!
*ahem* Anyways. Twilight defeated Pink Guy and assured victory. Pink Guy, on his dying breath said:
Pink Guy: hey b0ss
Twilight: ...?
Pink Guy: i habe a cancer *dies*
Twilight then suddenly came to the quick relization that everyone in Ponyville has cancer now, thanks to Pink Guy's 25 inch Bagguete. The months passed, and more and more ponie- I mean, people started dying. The cancer eventually mutated and spreaded itself in the air. In the end, Twilight was the last one to survive. Twilight walked in what remained out of Pony-ville. Thinking of the good old days. She eventually reached her Library, where she collapsed and eventually died.
The Moral Of the Story?
Don't have an orgy with a man wearing a pink suit. You will get mutated cancer.
THE END
