The Science of Pinkie Pie

by DashieSpeed

Rating: teen
Tags: Other, Pinkie Pie, Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 1922

Pinkie Pie: Not just a cartoonish gag anymore

Have you ever wondered why or how? When it comes to Pinkie Pie‘s antics, most leave it be. Although it is best to not question the supernatural abilities of this cartoonish party pony, some can’t help but to ponder day and night.

They say curiosity killed the pony. Or was it the cat...? Whatever.

Published 2012-05-25 11:24:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-05-25 11:24:02 UTC

Chapter One

When it comes to Pinkie Pie's questionable antics, most ponies just accept what she does. Her friends know better than to try to question her rondomness, but some just ponder it day and night.

Professor Atom is one of those ponies. He has many times observed that strange pink filly breaking the very quantum laws of the universe before his very own eyes. Among the most mind blowing part of her is that she does all this without an effort on her part. What the buck?

Among the strange acts he has seen the pink pony do, one makes him ponder the most… She looks at a spot in the sky and makes facial expressions, even mouths words, as if a pony was there to acknowledge her. Professor Atom ruled insanity out, as this wasn’t the only strange thing she did. He was on a mission: Befriend the strange mare and study her up close!

“Twilight, we have a visitor! You want me to see who it is?” Spike called upstairs to Twilight Sparkles room. Moments later, the unicorn opened her door and walked toward the entrance of the library tree.

“That’s fine, Spike. I’ll see.” she said, as she approached the door. She opened it, seeing that her visitor was a dark grey earth stallion, his messy white mane blowing in the wind of the outside air. He was tall, but age had obviously affected his build, and his thick reading glasses further made him look like he should be schooling a class. His vibe was very friendly and kind. As he began to speak, Twilight instantly recognized that signature Canterlot speech.

“Greetings, I am Professor Atom of the Canterlot University of Physical Science. I have been directed here looking for a fellow scholar named Twilight Sparkle. Is she here?” he plainly asked as he looked over Twilights shoulder into the messy library.

Twilight was surprised, as some of her favorite books had been written by this well renown physicist. She had noticed him look into the library and became embarrassed at the mess. “Yes, that’s me, please come in.” she offered, blushing a bit.
“So, what brings a great scientist like you here to Ponyville?"

“Well Ms. Sparkle, I was referred to you by the sun princess herself, me having told her that I was in search of a knowledgeable pony like yourself to help me. Her Majesty informed me that you are good friends with the earth pony named Pinkie Pie, am I correct?” the professor asked.

“Actually, yes I am. Why do you seem so interested in her? Pinkie is really just a normal pony that loves fun and parties.” The lavender unicorn questioned with an appraising expression.

The grey stallion thought to himself, ‘why am I here anyways? Could the interest of my studies really be of, as this pony says, a normal, silly filly? I’ll find out if she’s really normal’, and mentally shrugged it off.

“Well as you may know, I study the laws of physics. The laws that govern the universe that we all live in. I have actually been to this nice, homey town many times on vacation. Every instance I have visited, I have seen your friend Pinkie Pie. Now that I think back, I have seen you with her. Many things I've seen her do have sparked my attention, …”

‘Oh Celestia, I hope he does leave that subject alone’ thought Twilight as the interested pony spoke.

“… among them performing acts obviously beyond what her physical stamina should allow her to, pulling objects from behind her as if having a very large pocket, and being aware of other’s presence and forthcomings before hoof. These things obviously interest me because I thrive to learn how things work. What she seems to be able to do goes against everthing I have studied, and so I want to pick at her to unveil her tricks.” he finally finished, with a nondescript look at Twilight.

Twilight rolled her eyes, “I’m sorry, but Mister A…”

“Professor”

… “Okay,” she continued “Professor Atom, no matter how silly this may come off to you, I seriously advise you not to study her scientifically. No pony knows why or how she does those things, and all of us in Ponyville have agreed it is best for one’s sanity not to question her. If you ask her directly, she responds as if she has no clue about how bizarre she really is. In fact, I don’t think she even does. I think its best for you to go back to Canterlot to resume your, uhm, normal studies.”

The professor eyed Twilight for a few moments before responding. “No, Twilight Sparkle. I trust your intelligence, but I never stop on my quest for understanding. I simply will not give up on my latest project.” He paused for another few moments, as if waiting for the lavender library keeper to respond. “Now, may I ask where I can find the pony of my scientific interest?”

Rolling her eyes, Twilight relinquished Pinkie’s location.
“Well, if you insist sir. Pinkie Pie lives with the local bakers, the Cake family, at Sugar Cube corner. You can make it there by going just a few blocks west of the town square. She’s the window cashier there. You may just want to offer her a few cookies or something, and she’ll probably be fine with any questions or displays you ask of her. As long as you keep it fun and not too pushy, she really won't mind hanging out with you all day."

He thought for a moment and nodded at her. "Very well, Ms. Sparkle, I will consider your advice. I would love to count to you my finding later this week. I will be staying in the central area of the town, at the Steel Shoe Inn. Please feel free to visit me I you feel it needed. Now, is there anything else I should know before I go?", he asked.

Twilight just smiled at him and warned "No Sir, just please be be careul."

At this, the earth stallion gave her a look of surprise, raising an eyebrow. He pushed the far fetched warning aside and bade her good day.

‘Well I sure hope he doesn’t study Pinkie too hard’ the unicorn thought to herself. ‘Some areas of study should just be left alone’

“So, who was that?” asked spike, as he descended from atop the bookshelf ladder.

Twilight looked at the purple dragon with a smirk “Oh, just a poor soul who asks too many questions.”

Spike looked on at her, perplexed. "What do you meen?

"He's a scientist. I've read plenty of books that he's written. He... wants to study how Pinkie Pie works."

"Are you serious? Oh no... Celestia be with him", Spike bade him luck.

"Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Even I know when to stop looking" the concerned unicorn said, and they both shared a half hearted chuckle.

Professor Atom finally made it within sight of the Sugarcube Corner. His certainty was assured when he realized that the twenty pony-long line stretching across the lawn was in fact waiting to be serviced with tasty cakes and other goodies. The smell of the area was incredible, and made the older scholar’s mouth water. The Cake family must really make the best pastries in Ponyville. A sweet shop was yet another normal everyday place, adding to his so far normal visit to the town. Besides the indifference of Twilight Sparkle to the scientific interest that was the pink earth mare, Atom had felt on vacation. He finally reached the end of the line, standing face to face with the reason of his travels.

Instead of her usual greeting, Pinkie had looked at him momentarily before speaking.
“Heeeyyy…. I don’t know you.” She accused as she tilted her head left, squinting. Then, almost instantly, her usual bubblyness returned, and she changed her tone accordingly. “In that case, I’m Pinkie Pie! Nice to meet you! Hey, now we can be friends! This here is Sugarcube Corner, and we’ve got the best, sweetest, most sprinkley, colorful, juicy, wonderful, tastiest sweets in all of Equestria!”

Dumb founded, the Professor stood stunned for a few moments at the ridiculous amount of content for such a greeting. Greeting? How did the mare know that she didn’t know him? Anyway, he put it off and introduced himself.

“Pleasure to meet you Ms. Pie…”

“Just call me Pinkie!” the pink pony corrected with a grin.

“… uh, Pinkie. My name is Professor Atom. I suppose you can call me Atom.” He finished, frowning at his own informal oresentation.

“Cool, I’ve got a new friend! Now can I get you anything? You must be here for some tasty treats, right? Or maybe you’re here to hang out with me because I’m just so interesting to you! Or maybe you came here to eat muffins AND hang out with me, because you like muffins and I’m so interesting to you!” She grins widely and obviously awaits an answer she somehow knows she has answered.

The stallion stood, once again shocked. She had known… no guessed, but appeared to have known his motives.
He decided to take Twilight Sparkle’s advice and act as if everything was of the norm, and so he answered as such.

“Why yes, Pinkie!” He began, an unfittingly excited smile on his face “That’s right. I’ve heard from your friend Twilight just how much fun you are, and so I did indeed visit you to eat sweets and, uh, ‘hang out’ with you.”

Pinkie jumps into the air, staying air born with a few excess moments of hang time, and again evoked surprise from the professor. “Cooooool! Come on in, new friend! Okay, now we have strawberry fritters, chocolate brownies, strawberry chocolate fritter brownies, blueberry…..” she sing-songed as she bounced happily into the bakery. Atom followed her in as Ms.Cake took over the service window.

The excited baker went on like this for who knows how long, offering him as splendor of treats. Atom ignored, and thought to himself. The thruth was, in fact, he was going to have to deal with this extremely explosive, somewhat annoying energy in order to find his answers? Pinkie Pie was too exciting for him, and he had to find a way to fit in with her.

‘Alas, it is in the name of science’

He would have been exponentially more happy being in his private study, working on the beautiful chain algorithms of cluster theory and all of its artistic mathematical schemes.

^^^ (Totally not a reference to the well known brony music artist) ^^^

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I just settled into where Im staying the time that I'll be in school. I've got super fast internet, and cable in my own room. Unfortunately I'm going to have to share a small kitchen and a fridge with my two room mates, one who has a girlfriend. I have maaaaaybe 5 sq feet of fridge space :(

But good news is, I have time to continue work on "The Science of Pinkie Pie".
Bad news is, the rest will be one shot. Probably extensive, as I continue to add ideas to the plot every day. Maybe this'll be a bit longer than I thought.

Sorry for breaking my promise I made when I wrote it, but shit happened out of no where. I'll be starting school on the 18th, so I have a few days to write.