My Little Fonzie

by No One and Nobody

Rating: everyone
Tags: Human, Doctor Whooves, Main 6, Lyra, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Adventure, Random, Discord, Crossover
Length: 25932

Happy Days meets My Little Pony. Another big joke with somewhat of a plot this time.

In a failed attempt to make Richie cool, Fonzie, Richie, Potsie and Ralph find themselves transported to Equestria. What follows are hijinks, mayhem and Fonzie being awesome.

There is a prequel to this story, but you don't need to read it (it just explains some of Pinkie's jokes).
Constructive Criticism is appreciated. I'm writing this story with my little sister so please keep the comments clean. It's worth noting that this is a tamed down version of the Fonz.
We don't own Happy Days or MLP.

Published 2015-07-28 07:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-16 04:26:04 UTC

Chapter 1

Chapter 1: A birthday, a Jukebox and another Plothole Porthole

“Happy Birthday Richie!” Potsie said as he handed Richie a box with wrapping paper hanging off the side in a jumbled manner. It looked like it had been wrapped in a hurry.

Richie unwrapped the small box to find Potsie’s favorite knife.

“Potsie, why did you give me this?” he asked as he examined the gift, “You’ve prized this since your dad gave it to you.”

“It’s broken,” Potsie said, smiling.

“Oh you really went all-out Pots,” Richie said as he threw the knife into a small pile of gifts from his friends at Arnolds.

“Richie, I got you something very special,” Fonzie said as he placed another package on the table.

Richie unwrapped it to find a leather jacket.

“Oh Fonz, I don’t know what to say. Thanks.”

“I figured you were old enough for one of your own,” Fonzie said as he leaned against the wall.

“You know what I really want for my birthday Fonz? To be as cool as you.”

“Eyy, hold it! You are definitely NOT ready for that level of cool,” Fonzie said.

“Oh come on Fonz, I’m tired of being called a nerd,” Richie begged.

“I can understand that. Ok, I’ll show you a few things. What would you like to learn?”

“Could you teach me the, uh… you know?” Richie said as he snapped his fingers.

“Woah, I know you ain’t ready for that. How about starting off with something easier. Like the jukebox?”

Fonz sauntered over to the jukebox then, looked to see Richie staring at his shoes.

“Cunningham, what’s the problem? Will you get over here? I don’t got all day,” Fonzie said in an impatient tone.

“Fonz, I can’t learn in front of all these people.”

“Don’t worry Cunningham,” Fonzie said.

The Fonz turned to the crowds of teens at Arnold’s and said, “Hey everybody! Now hear this, Richie would like to learn how to be cool so get out so I can teach him! I’ll tell you when to come back in.”

After he said this, the throngs of teens stampeded towards the door in obedience. Just as Potsie and Ralph got up to leave, Fonzie grabbed them by the arms.

“Eyy, you two are gonna stay for moral support. I would have asked Cindy, but she ran outta here too fast.”

“Sure thing Fonz,” Ralph said, shaking in Fonzie’s grasp, “Anything you say.”

“Better Cunningham? So get over here.”

Richie stood up and walked over to the jukebox.

“Ok so just I hit it like this?” Richie said as he swung his fist at the box.

“NO!” yelled Fonzie as he grabbed Richie’s hand, “You can’t just swing a fist at it. I wouldn’t throw a wrench at my bike. You need to be delicate and precise. Now watch.”

With that Fonzie rapped the jukebox on the side causing Splish Splash to start playing.

“How did I do it different?” asked a very confused Richie.

“And that,” said Fonzie, pointing at Richie, “Is why I’m the Fonz, and you aren’t.”

“Let me try?” said Richie as he mimicked the Fonz and swung at the jukebox.

“NO NOT THERE!” Fonzie hollered as he tried to stop Richie’s fist.

He was too late though. As Richie hit the jukebox the record in the box started to spin out of control. As it spun, it somehow opened up a gigantic hole in Arnold’s, drawing in Fonzie, Richie, Potsie and Ralph. After the boys had been sucked into the jukebox Arnold came out of the kitchen to see what was the matter. His store was never this quiet.

“Where did everybody go?” He asked, looking around, “It couldn’t be my food, could it?”

Fonzie, Richie, Potsie and Ralph swirled through nothingness towards nowhere. As they looked to the sides of them the saw windows to other worlds. Potsie, Ralph and Richie looked into them but the Fonz just stared ahead in a cool silence.

Potsie saw to his left a blue fish next to a clownfish. They were in front of a HUGE, grinning, great white shark.

To Ralph’s left he saw a brownish, uh, thing reaching out what appeared to be a glowing finger. Ralph could swear he saw the thing say, “E.T. phone home.”

Richie looked up, or at least what he thought was up, and saw a kindly looking man with a white mustache behind a soda fountain serving ice cream to a happy child.

Potsie looked to his left to see an island, with seven people on it and a… thing coming out of that world towards them.

“Uh guys,” he said, “You should look over there.”

“Not now Pots,” said Richie who was studying a gigantic grey ball floating out in space. With one gigantic laser blast it destroyed an entire planet! Then there was some sort of man with a black mask that made scuba diver noises.

“You should really look,” Potsie said again, “It’s coming towards us-“

“HI! How are you doing? Wow, you guys remind me of my friends Gilligan and Grumpy. I actually just visited them.”

Everyone but Fonz turned to see a pink horse floating upside down next to Potsie. She was wearing a grass skirt and lei.

Her excited chatter was interrupted when a man in a dark suit pinwheeled past them, saying as he went, “Consider if you will the cases of Arthur Fonzerelli, Richard Cunningham, Warren 'Potsie' Weber and Ralph Malph. Innocent teenagers trying to discover who they were in a growing world. Little did they know that one day, a simple jukebox would bridge the gap between the worlds, introducing them to-”

“Oh they know already!” The horse said, “You really need a new catchphrase. ‘Consider if you will’ who says that anymore?”

“There is no need to be rude Ms. Pie,” said the man.

With that he zoomed away, flipping end over end and muttering about a world of sound, sight, and mind opened with an imaginary key.

“DUN-DUN-DUUUUUN!” yelled the horse, randomly, “Welcome to the Pinkie Zone. That’s got a nice ring to it. Ohh, or maybe the Discord Zone. Hmmm, definitely sounds better than Twilight. I mean seriously Twilight would hate it here, way too much nonsense for her. Right cat?”

A passing striped cat with a huge grin on its face said, “Of course my dear Pinkie. However you fit in perfectly. After all we’re all a bit mad here, ha-ha-ha-ha…”

As the cat laughed it began to slowly vanish until nothing remained but its eyes and wide grin.

By this point Ralph had a death-grip on Potsie who was staring glassy-eyed at the pink horse.

“Fonz, did you see that?” asked a frightened Richie.

“Yeh yeh, not right now Cunningham. Look here, Pie or whatever yeh name is, how long is this here trip gonna last?” Fonz asked, with his arms and legs crossed as he leaned on nothingness.

“Oh it depends,” Pinkie said, “But judging by how much the authors are laughing, I’d say this chapter’s portal scene is going to be a bit longer then last time.”

They turned to see where Pinkie was pointing and saw a brother and a sister hunched over a strange typewriter-like device laughing themselves silly.

“Hope the internet is working better than last time,” hollered Pinkie at the two people, who waved back and smiled.

A blue police call box whirled past the travelers.

“Looks like the Doctor will be home for some of Derpy’s muffins,” Pinkie said.

She then waved at the box and screamed, “HI DOCTOR!”

“It doesn’t look very comfortable and roomy,” Richie observed.

“It’s bigger on the inside,” Pinkie said, waving her hooves in a mysterious manner, “He even has a pool in it.”

“How do you know that?” Richie asked.

“Cause I fell in it,” Pinkie said in a totally nonchalant manner.

“O.K.” said the Fonz, shrugging, “But rough estimate wise, how much longer till we touch down in crazytown?”

“Actually, it’s Ponyville,” said Pinkie with a raised eyebrow, “And I’d say one more reference should do it.”

BEEP BEEP! HONK HONK! SEATBELTS EVERYONE!!!

They all turned to see a small school bus driven by a crazy-haired lady with a chameleon on her shoulder.

Richie heard a boy in one of the seats say to himself, “I knew I should have stayed home today.”

Ralph heard a girl in the back seat say, “At my old school we never drove between universes.”

“So where do we get off-” began Fonzie.

“Whoops, one second, we seem to be off target,” said the pink mare, as they headed for a brightly colored hole in space, “Feet up and when you touch down don’t stop running.”

They sailed through the portal and found themselves running through a grassy camp. Brightly colored tents surrounding them.

“Welcome Peter, son of Adam. Welcome Susan and Lucy, daughters of Eve… Welcome Pinkie, Potsie, Ralph, Richie and Fonzie,” said a large lion, smiling as they ran by.

“HELLO AGAIN, MR. LION,” yelled Pinkie, still running, “SEE YOU LATER, WHEEE!” With that she back-flipped through another portal and out into nothingness.

As they floated along, Pinkie turned to them and pulled a microphone from her mane; the frayed wire floated in front of her as if in zero gravity. She spoke into the microphone, her voice reverberating like it actually worked.

“Please keep your hands, arms, and hooves inside the universe at all time until you have come to a full and complete crash.”

With that said, she threw away the microphone and, her hooves gleefully in the air, plummeted through another portal, while the rest of the group followed behind her.

Pinkie landed first and every one of the following teenagers bounced off her like a trampoline and landed in the grass.

Richie got up first and shot over to the pink mare, “Are you alright?”

“Yeppie-deppie,” said Pinkie, smiling, “Gosh I sure do love cartoon physics. Wanna come meet my friends?”

Before any of the teenagers could say anything the sun began flashing on and off as a low siren sound began to emanate from the very ground itself.

With four bright flashes of light, four alicorns appeared in front of them, with less than happy faces.

“Pinkie, what set off the alarm- More of them! Oh no, Not again,” said the smallest lavender alicorn.

“Twilight! These are my new best friends,” Pinkie said in reply, “This is- Sorry what are your names again?”

“No need Pinkie,” said the white alicorn, “They cannot stay. Or have you forgotten what happened the last time?”

“Nopy-dopey. Cause that would be like breaking a Pinkie Promise. And NOPONY breaks a Pinkie promise, EVEEEERRRR!” Pinkie said.

“So you remember what awful things happened right?” Twilight said, eyes wide.

“Nope,” Pinkie said, “All I remember is new friends. I think you are overreacting Twilight.”

“I’M NOT OVERREACTING!!!!!!” Twilight screamed, “I JUST KNOW THAT-“

“Twilight,” the pink alicorn said, “It wasn’t that bad. We just had to wipe their minds. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna set up the alarm so we would know if anything else ever came here again.”

“Quite right,” the white alicorn said, “I’m afraid that they must return home though, with no memory of this occurrence.”

“You can’t do that!” Pinkie yelled, “I just went to visit Gilligan and Grumpy and they promised, not just any promise but PINKIE PROMISED, that they would never tell a soul. Or a person. Or anyone watching them, about me. Or you. OR-”

“Well then-“ the white alicorn started, but was cut off by Pinkie.

“Plus the authors got a comment that said that ending the story with amnesia last time was a bit of a cop-out. I like that word. Cop-out. Cop-out. It’s almost as fun to say as rubbish. Rubbish, rubbish, rubbish-“

“That’s enough Pinkie,” said Twilight, putting a hoof in Pinkie’s mouth.

“Mmmppff,” Pinkie mumbled.

“Very well,” the white alicorn said, “As long as they shall not reveal our existence to others upon their return, their memories shall remain intact.”

“You guys won’t tell anyone, right?” Pinkie asked.

“Who would believe us?” Richie asked.

“They would just think I’m joking anyway.” Ralph said.

“What about you Pots?” Richie asked.

“Huh?” said Potsie with a glazed look.

“Will you tell anyone?”

“About what?”

“He won’t tell anyone.”

“Sister,” the navy blue alicorn said, “They cannot tread the streets of Ponyville in the forms they currently hold.”

“But of course,” the white alicorn said to the navy blue one with a curious grin.

The alicorn lowered he head and shot a bolt of magic at the four teens. Their hands became hooves, their hair became manes and they grew tails. They sank back to the ground lacking all clothes accept Fonz who was still a human.

“Hey cool,” said Potsie, “I have wings.”

“That’s cause you always have your head in the clouds Pots,” Richie said rolling his eyes.

“Well you and Ralph can’t fly. You are a Unicorn and Ralph’s just a regular pony.”

“But how did you?” the white alicorn asked.

“Eyy, this whole pony thing. Not Cool. You can’t ruin perfection.”

“But I know someone who can,” said Twilight with a grin.

With that, a draconoquus, wearing an inside-out leather jacket and a pair of mismatched sunglasses with red and blue tinted lenses rode up on a tricycle that was making motorcycle noises and vibrating.

“I sensed an alarming amount of ‘Cool’ in the area,” he said as he dismounted and pulled the plug out of his tricycle, which deflated, “And decided to pop by to see if I could help cure it.”

“For once,” said Twilight, “You are on top of things.”

Discord walked through the group of humans-turned-ponies and, looking at each one, rattled off, “Nerd, prankster, Pinkie, dope, ahhh, here we go.”

With the sound of glass breaking, Discord cracked his knuckles and said, “One perfectly ordinary Ponivillian citizen coming right up.”

Discord snapped his fingers and with a bright flash of light the human Fonzie was replaced with a pony Fonzie.

“WOAH!” said Fonzie spreading his wings in surprise, “This is NOT COOL!”

“Hey guys,” said Potsie, looking at is flank, “Check this out, we have pictures on our butts.”

“Those are cutie marks,” explained Twilight, “They show what a pony has decided to be when they grow up.”

“Well, then what does this one mean?” asked Potsie, nodding to his flank.

Twilight examined it and said, “I don’t know. I’ve never seen a question mark on a pony’s flank before.”

“How about mine?” Ralph asked.

“Well, it seems you are a joker,” said Twilight, “That’s why you have a pair of glasses with the big nose on them.”

“I’m guessing that the pencil means I’m a nerd, right?” Richie asked.

Yeppie-deppie,” put in Pinkie, smiling.

Everypony turned to see Fonzie’s cutie mark.

“Golly,” said a shocked Richie.

“Wow,” Potsie said with his mouth open in shock.

“Oh man Fonz,” Ralph said.

“I didn’t think there was a cutie mark for ‘cool’,” said a dazed Twilight.

“Sister,” said the Navy-blue alicorn in shock, “He. Has. Wings.”

“I see that,” said the white alicorn, surprised.

“And. A. Horn.”

“Yes, Luna.”

“But that would make him…”

By this point alicorn Fonzie was hopping mad.

“I don’t know how yeh did it, but ya ruined perfection. I can’t even snap my fingers anymore. You know what that means?”

“Yes Luna,” said the white alicorn, “He is a Prince.”

Fonzie did a double take, sighed and said, “O.K. Princes are cool. I’m okay with dat. At least the jacket still fits.”

“CHANGE HIM BACK!” yelled Luna in her Royal Canterlot Voice.

“Can’t do. Won’t do.” said Discord, holding up what looked like a parking meter, “My Discord meter is rather low.”

Looking closer Luna could see a picture of smiling Discord in the meter with a ‘thumbs-up’ for an arrow. Right now the ‘thumbs-up’ was pointing down towards ‘empty’.

“Why didst thou turn him into an alicorn in the first place?” demanded Luna.

“Well I was aiming for ‘Griffon’ but his cool factor threw off my aim. After all I am the Lord of Chaos, you can’t expect me to have perfect aim all the time.”

“So you cannot send them back?” asked the white alicorn, upset.

“Not until I recharge my batteries,” said Discord opening a panel in his chest and letting a bunch of AA batteries spill out onto the grass.

“And how do you do that?” asked Twilight, frowning.

“I go somewhere where nothing makes sense,” said Discord.

“I’VE GOT JUST THE PLACE!” yelled Pinkie, bouncing up and down.

“You would,” said Twilight, rolling her eyes.

“Follow me,” said Pinkie, bouncing off towards Sugarcube Corner.

“Why is she wearing a grass skirt?” asked Twilight to Richie as they walked along.

Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Open the Portal, Jump In.

“Pinkie, how long have you known about this place that even Celestia doesn’t know of?” asked Twilight as they all headed for Sugarcube Corner, “And how do you get there?”

“Put this on,” Luna said as she stuffed a straw hat on Fonzie’s head, covering his horn.

“Eyyy, this ain’t cool,” Fonzie said, ripping the hat off.

“Twilight,” said Pinkie, putting a hoof over Twilight’s shoulder, “I’ll tell you when you’re older.”

“Uh, Pinkie, I’m a Princess. I’m also two years older than you,” Twilight said, refusing to drop the subject, this time.

As Bon-Bon and Lyra trotted past, Luna shoved Fonzie out of sight into an alleyway.

“Greetings!” she said, nervously to the two fillies, whose mouths’ hung open at the sight of the alicorn princesses walking through Ponyville. Princess Celestia just rolled her eyes at her sister’s paranoia.

“Nothing is here which is worth observing,” Luna said, perspiration dripping off her muzzle, “Thou shouldst resume thine journey.”

“Yes your Highness. Come along Lyra.” Bon-Bon said.

The two ponies trotted off, arguing something about humans.

“Twilight, am I going to have to let you follow me around AGAIN? You remember what happened last time, right?” Pinkie said.

Twilight cringed as she thought of it.

“Put this on,” Luna said as she ripped a tablecloth off of a table and draped it on Fonzie. A waiter looked at her in surprise.

“Eyyyyy,” Fonzie said as he flared his wings, knocking the tablecloth off his back, “You can’t change or cover up perfection.”

“What of thine jacket?” Luna asked, “That covers you up, does it not?”

“That’s different,” Fonzie said, “That’s a part of the Fonz.”

“Ok. I’ll just assume that this is true. So ASSUMING this is true, and you really can get to this place, ASSUMING it even exists. How are you going to get there? After all Discord has no magic left.” Twilight queried.

“With something very special that can only be found here,” said Pinkie as they entered Sugarcube Corner.

She pulled off her grass skirt and hung it on a hook alongside some aprons.

With that, she began rummaging around the kitchen until she found a tin box. She opened it to reveal about a half-dozen perfectly normal-looking cupcakes.

“And what is so special about a few cupcakes?” Twilight screamed, “We came here for a way to get Discord his powers back, not a snack!”

“Oh Twilight,” said Pinkie with a knowing smile, “These aren’t just any cupcakes. They’re my special Fourth-Wall cupcakes. Watch.”

Pinkie smiled, bit a small chunk out of the cupcake and hurled it at the wall. When it hit, it splattered onto all the ponies.

“Oopsie,” said Pinkie with a quick giggle, “Wrong cupcakes. These ARE for eating.”

She then threw one of the pastries into her mouth.

“Dey musht be on a dipperent shelf,” she said, spraying the ponies with even more crumbs and frosting.

She looked in another cabinet and drew out another box almost identical to the first.

These cupcakes certainly were different.

They had rainbow colored frosting and were sprinkled with shimmery silver sprinkles.

“Oh, now those look good,” Twilight said as she reached for one.

Pinkie pulled the box away from her and said, “No can do Twilight. Do you want a black hole in your belly?”

Pinkie then bit the second cupcake and sent it flying.

As the cupcake flew towards its inevitable target, everypony braced for more crumbs in their mane.

The cupcake never impacted the wall. About half-way there it blew up, revealing a large, rainbow colored portal swirling in the center of the room. The whole process produced a kind of ‘BUMPF’ noise.

“What’s in those cupcakes?” Twilight screamed in a frantic voice.

“Oh the same stuff in all my other recipes,” Pinkie said.

A musical intro began. Pinkie started to dance.

“All you have to do is take a cup of flour, add it to the mix! Now just take a-“

“Pinkie,” Twilight interjected, “Stay on topic, please.”

“Where did that music come from anyway?” asked Richie to nopony in particular.

“Oh, right,” Pinkie said, “So I add flour, something sweet, not sour, a bit of salt, just a pinch.”

“And?” Twilight asked, attempting to hurry Pinkie along.

“Well then I add eggs, milk and lemonade.”

“You put lemonade in your cupcakes?”

“No silly, just in the lemon-flavored ones.”

“Oh, continue.”

“Then,” Pinkie said, stroking a fake goatee she had produced out of nowhere, “I add a dash of something from my little pink box.”

She then pulled a pink box about the same size as a ring case out of her mane.

“Pinkie,” Discord interrupted, “You stole my idea. What’s in this box, randomosity like in mine?”

“Nope, that would be repetitive,” said Pinkie, opening the box, “Paprika.”

“So, it’s the paprika that makes these cupcakes so special?” Twilight queried.

“It’s either that,” said Pinkie, raising her hoof over her head as if to make a point, “OOOORRRRR the fact that I put poison joke in it. I’m betting on the paprika though.”

“Well then,” said Discord, “I guess I’ll be on my merry way.”

“Oh you can’t go alone,” interrupted Pinkie, “I’ll come along to show you how to get there. First though, we’ll need something.”

She rummaged around in the kitchen until she found a big, brass key.

“We’ll need this to get in.”

“What pray tell is that Pinkie?”

“It’s the key of imagination. We need it to get to the zone named after her.” Pinkie said as she pointed a hoof at Twilight.

“How did this place get named after me?” Twilight asked.

“I don’t know Twilight. You would hate it there.”

Pinkie turned to Discord, who was wearing a rubber-ducky inner tube, a green and red Hawaiian shirt, a plastic toy camera around his neck, duck fins, a snorkel and a big floppy sun hat. Globs of sunscreen dripped off of him, onto the floor.

“Now,” Pinkie said, “When we enter this place, go straight. Hang a left at the starship Enterprise. Then go straight till you see a HUGE tree and hear the birds. Then hang an up. Keep going until you see a door floating in nothingness. (That’s the door we have to open) Sound good?”

“Let’s get going,” said Discord.

They both jumped into the portal which disappeared after them.

“Wait,” Twilight said as she turned to the Princesses, “Why couldn’t the visitors have just left through the… Uh… Cupcake portal?”

“I don’t see any reason to send them off so quickly,” Princess Celestia said, “Besides, we need Discord powered up to change Mr. Fonzie into a regular pony.”

“Very well,” Twilight said, then opened her mouth in shock, “Wait, none of my friends remember the last time humans appeared in Equestria. Does this mean I can counter the spell on forgetfulness you placed on them?”

“Indeed,” Princess Celestia replied, “However, you needn’t cast a counter spell. Just say something that will jog your friends’ memories. Perhaps your friends will once again lend you a hoof in lodging the visitors.”

“Great,” Twilight said, then turned on her hooves and sprinted towards the park. Her friends had a pet day scheduled.

“You’d best follow her,” said Celestia.

The humans-turned-ponies followed the galloping alicorn to the park.

“Come to think of it,” Celestia said, “I had best follow them too.”

Luna and Cadence flew off to the Royal Castle at Canterlot and Celestia trotted after the humans-turned-ponies who in turn, followed Twilight.

“Gee, I wonder what’s takin’ Twi so long?” Applejack said as she threw Wynonna’s rubber ball.

“She’s probably busy with her royal duties,” Rarity said as Opal played with her ball of yarn.

“Yeah, that’s expected,” Rainbow said as she and Tank hovered over the ground, “But where’s Pinkie Pie? She and Gummy never miss our pony-pet playdates. I’m giving them five more seconds then Tank and I are splitting. We’ve got cloud-clearing to do. Five, Four, Three, Two, On-”

“I’m here…” said an out of breath Twilight as she galloped up.

“Your timing is improving,” Rainbow noted.

“Pardon me Darling,” Rarity said, “But where is Owlicious? I think you missed the ‘pet’ part of our pony-pet playdate.”

“Sorry girls,” Twilight said, “But something really important came up.”

Fonzie, Richie, Ralph and Potsie ran up behind Twilight.

Celestia followed a ways behind.

“Your Highness,” Rarity said as she bent in a deep bow.

“Yer Majesty,” Applejack said, then nodded her head to the humans-turned-ponies, “Is that the really important thing that came up Twi?”

“Yeah,” Twilight said, then she addressed the rest of her friends, “Listen, do you guys remember about a month ago when Gilligan and the Skipper and the rest came to Equestria?”

Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash all shook their heads with looks of confusion.

“Their boat crashed onto Sweet Apple Acres. Ginger stayed with you Rarity. Mary Anne stayed with you Applejack and the Howells tried staying with you, Fluttershy, but they didn’t like the accommodations, remember?”

A look of discovery flashed across the four ponies’ faces.

“Why of course I remember Ginger,” Rarity said, “I designed that simply superb evening gown for her. She had exquisite taste in fashion. Goodness! How could I have forgotten her?”

“Princess Luna only meant to wipe the humans’ minds but Pinkie startled her into wiping everyponys’ minds except the princesses’. I wanted to tell you girls, but Princess Celestia told me it was best if nopony remembered them. I’ve felt so awful this past month not telling you.”

“Come to think of it,” Rarity said, “Where is Pinkie Pie.”

“She and Discord went somewhere to recharge Discord’s powers,” Twilight said.

“Where?” Fluttershy asked.

“I have no idea,” Twilight said, “After all, it is Pinkie.”

All the ponies smiled.

“Well I wonder how they are doing,” Rainbow said.

“So Pinkie,” Discord asked, “Is this the door?”

“How many other doors have you seen floating around here with no wall attached to them?” Pinkie said with a grin, “Now, here you go,” She handed Discord the brass key.

Discord took the four foot key from Pinkie and managed to fit it into the small lock which promptly ate it. The door opened and he walked through it. He turned to tell Pinkie to come on in but she wasn’t there. He scratched his head and turned around to find the pink mare waiting for him.

“How did you get there?” he asked.

“Oh silly,” Pinkie said with a giggle, “I went around.”

“Oh,” Discord said, “Why didn’t I think of that? Sorry about the key.”

“Don’t mind that. It was imaginary anyway.”

“I think that Pinkie and Discord will be just fine,” Twilight said, “But, what I need to talk to you about is them.”

She pointed at Fonzie and his friends.

“What is it Darling?” Rarity asked, then she opened her mouth in shock, “Good Gracious! Look ponies, he is a prince!”

“Eyyyy,” said Fonzie as Rarity came over to him and bowed low.

“Pardon me your Highness,” Rarity said, “But what does ‘Eyyy’ mean?”

“The same as ‘Woah’,” Richie said, not helping Rarity at all.

“I see,” said Rarity, even though she didn’t, “Welcome to Ponyville your Highness. Where do you hail from? Canterlot? I haven’t heard of a new prince being crowned.”

“That’s because he hasn’t,” Twilight said, “Ponies, we have some more human visitors.”

The group of friends started in shock.

“You mean that these fella’s aren’t from Equestria?” Applejack asked.

“Have you ever heard of humans living in Equestria?” Rainbow asked in a smart aleck manner.

“Well, if I may ask, if they are humans, then why are they ponies?” Rarity asked.

“Princess Celestia cast a shape-shifting spell on them,” Twilight explained.

The ponies turned to Celestia, who nodded.

“Well why did she make him a prince?” Rainbow asked.

“She didn’t. Discord missed. Fonzie’s ‘cool factor’ supposedly threw off his aim,” Twilight said, rolling her eyes.

“Twilight,” Fluttershy said, “Discord is reformed. He wouldn’t lie to you. He’s your friend.”

“I know,” Twilight said, remembering the time he had helped them to defeat Tyrek.

“So,” Rarity said, thinking aloud, “Pinkie took Discord somewhere to let him recharge so Discord can change the prince into a regular pony.”

“Exactly,” Twilight said.

“So how can we help ya’ out Twi?” Applejack asked.

“Thanks for asking AJ,” Twilight said, “Ideally, I need help lodging our visitors, like you did last time.”

“Umm, excuse me,” Richie said, interrupting, “But do you think you could introduce us?”

“Oh, right,” Twilight said, “So this is Rarity, Applejack or AJ, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. Girls, this is Fonzie, Richie, Potsie and Ralph.”

“A pleasure,” Rarity said to the humans-turned-ponies.

“Um… hello,” said Fluttershy, hiding behind her hair.

“Howdy ya’ll,” Applejack said.

“So you call yourself cool, huh?” Rainbow said, hovering over Fonzie.

“Eyy,” Fonzie said.

“Yeah right,” Rainbow said, “I’m at least twenty percent cooler than you. Watch this.”

With that, Rainbow Dash took off, leaving a rainbow colored wake. After she had soared about a hundred feet over head, she plummeted towards the ground. After a few seconds, a Mach cone began to form around her. The cone became more and more stretched until Rainbow slipped ahead of it. An earth-shattering KABOOM! sounded. Behind Rainbow was a gigantic explosion of color. She sped around Ponyville a few times until she had slowed down enough to land.

“What was that?” Richie asked in awe.

“A sonic rainboom,” Twilight said, “When a Pegasus like Rainbow Dash gets going fast enough, a sonic boom and a rainbow can happen all at once.”

“What’s a sonic boom?” asked Potsie with a blank stare.

“I’m the only Pegasus to ever be able to do a sonic rainboom,” Rainbow Dash said with a smirk, “So Mr. Cool, beat that.”

“Prince Cool, Rainbow,” Rarity corrected.

Without a word, Fonzie took off and went up to the same height Rainbow had soared to. He looked down, smirked and zoomed towards the ground.

Just like with Rainbow Dash, a Mach cone began to form around the Fonz. One difference was that while Rainbow had been really exerting herself, Fonzie wasn’t even sweating. Just like Rainbow before him, Fonzie slipped past the cone, creating a gigantic explosion and boom. But instead of rainbows, the sonic boom created ice, snow and sleet. It stretched across Ponyville ruining what would have been a lovely summer day.

“HE STARTED WINTER EARLY!!!!” Twilight screamed.

The Fonz came in for a landing.

“And that’s what I call, a sonic coolboom,” he said to the crowd of shell-shocked ponies.

“Thank goodness,” Twilight said as she noticed that the snow was already beginning to melt, “I was afraid you had ruined our entire ecological system.”

“OK,” said Rainbow, grinning, “He can stay with me.”

“Thanks Rainbow,” said Twilight, “Richie, would you like to stay in my castle?”

“Sure thing,” Richie said.

“Would you like to come and stay in my cottage?” Fluttershy asked Potsie.

“Ok,” Potsie said.

“Now, there is just the question of where will Ralph stay,” Twilight said.

Before anypony could volunteer, a loud voice came out of nowhere, “Can he stay with me? OH PLEEEAASSEE Twilight?”

The voice had a slightly Pinkie-ish tone to it.

“Pinkie? Is that you?” Twilight asked, then shook her head, “Of course it isn’t Pinkie. She’s off somewhere in a zone named after me with Discord.”

“No I’m not,” said Pinkie, as she and Discord came out of a portal into Ponyville.

“But I thought you were recharging Discord’s batteries!”

“Oh silly, we finished that a long time ago.”

“Yes,” said Discord, “That place was so saturated with radomosity that I recharged almost instantaneously. It was all very strange. I could do whatever I wanted to the people. No one did anything besides a chap in a black suit. But all he did was narrate. I think he even enjoyed the anarchy I caused. It was all quite enjoyable. I’m hoping to go back as soon as possible, in fact-”

Twilight interrupted Discord with, “Look, you can tell us all about that after you change Fonzie into a regular pony.”

“Very well,” Discord said with a disappointed look on his face.

He turned to Fonzie and snapped his fingers.

There was a blinding flash of light and it soon dimmed to reveal Fonzie, completely unchanged.

“Why aren’t you a griffon?” Discord asked in astonishment.

“Eyyyy, I was ready for you that time,” Fonzie said with a smirk.

“But,” said Twilight, contemplating how he could have countered Discord’s magic, “You have to be able to blend into a crowd.”

“The Fonz don’t ‘blend in’,” Fonzie said.

“Hey!” yelled an orange-maned mare, “Ponies, look. It’s an Alicorn. It’s a PRINCE!”

A stampede started. Destination: Fonzie.

“Carrot Top, Darling,” said Rarity as she and her friends tried to hold back the advancing crowd, “He’s not an alicorn. He’s a… a…”

“A Pegasus with plastic horn attached to his head?” Fluttershy suggested.

“Exactly,” Rarity said, “He’s dressed up for, uh?”

“Night Mare Night?” Rainbow offered.

“Yes but he, uh?”

“Isn’t from around here so he got the date mixed up. He’s actually from Saddle Arabia and he had never heard of Night Mare Night beforehoof. So he just decided to dress up every day so he never misses the actual day!” Pinkie said, hopping up and down.

“Uh, exactly,” Rarity said, accepting Pinkie’s hairbrained theory, “That makes sense right?”

“NO,” Carrot Top yelled, “He’s an honest-to-Applejack prince!”

“Woah!” Fonzie said as he noted the hordes of ponies gathered around him, “Chicks didn’t dig me this much even back home!”

“ENOUGH!” Celestia said as she stepped out into view from behind Discord.

The ponies stopped and fell to the ground in low bows of admiration. Discord pulled a trumpet out of the air and gave it a resounding blast, which then dissolved into a mariachi band complete with Pinkie on guitar.

“I had hoped that our visiting dignitary would be treated with more respect than this-” she stopped and gave Discord and Pinkie a hard look.

They stopped playing.

Twilight looked up at her in bewilderment. Celestia winked back at her and continued.

“I would like that you all treat these foreign visitors as if they were just regular ponies.”

The gathered ponies nodded their heads in obedience.

“Very well,” said Celestia.

She turned on her heels and, as she walked away, whispered to Twilight, “Luna and I shall meet you and your friends in your castle in five minutes.”

With those instructions, Celestia sprang into the sky and flew off towards Canterlot.

The ponies, unaware of Celestia’s instructions to Twilight, glanced at Fonzie and went back to their ordinary day’s work. They were all still excited that there was a prince in town, but they were not about to disobey the princess.

“Quick everypony,” Twilight said to her friends and the visitors, “Celestia wishes to see us in my castle in five minutes.”

The group set out through Ponyville with Discord and Pinkie following in a tugboat. Don’t ask anypony how he sailed it on land but he did.

Carrot Top rolled her eyes as she listened to the fading sound of the mariachi duo.

Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Behold, Behold the Prince Fonzie Cometh

“If Princess Celestia wanted to talk to us,” Rainbow asked as the group sped through Ponyville, “Then why did she go back to Canterlot?”

“Two reasons, Rainbow,” Twilight explained as they galloped past Quills & Sofas, “She needed to appear to leave us and she needs to get Luna.”

“Need a lift?” asked Discord as he pulled his tugboat alongside Fluttershy. He wore an admiral’s uniform.

“Thanks,” Fluttershy said as Discord helped her into his boat, “That’s so sweet.”

“Uh, no thanks,” Applejack said as the tugboat sped by, “I just think I’ll walk on my own four hooves.”

“Suit yourselves,” said Discord with a smile.

They all arrived at Twilight Sparkle’s castle. Richie, Potsie and Ralph stared up at it in awe. Discord pulled the boat up to the castle and helped Fluttershy off. He tied the boat to the castle with a rope and dismounted himself. Snapping his fingers, the boat melted like chocolate in the hot sun and dripped through a drain which promptly vanished.

The group entered the castle.

“Twilight,” Spike said as he ran over to the collection of ponies, “What set off Princess Celestia’s alarm? You teleported out of here too quickly for me to ask.”

“Some more humans have come to Equestria,” Twilight answered. Then, noticing Spike’s blank look, remembered that Princess Luna’s spell had wiped Spike’s memory as well.

“You don’t remember the last time that humans came here Spike. Their names were Gilligan, the Skipper-“

“His name was Grumpy!” hollered Pinkie.

“Ok,” Twilight said, “Gilligan, Grumpy, the Professor, Mr. and Mrs. Howell, Ginger and Mary Anne. Now do you remember?”

“Of course,” Spike said as a look of recall flashed across his scaly face, “How could I have forgotten them? So if there are more humans in Equestria, where are they?”

“Princess Celestia transformed them into ponies.”

“Hey!” exclaimed Discord with a pouty look on his face, “I helped.”

“These ponies are really humans, Spike,” Twilight explained, pointing a hoof at Potsie, Richie, Ralph and Fonzie.

“Wow,” said Spike in awe, “I could’ve never guessed that they were ponies if you hadn’t told me. But wait… Is one of them an-“

“Alicorn?” Twilight finished, “Yes. Princess Celestia couldn’t turn him into a pony so we called Discord. And Discord-“

“Accidentally,” put in Fluttershy.

“Accidentally turned him into an alicorn.” Twilight finished.

“Well,” said Spike, “You better not let anypony find out that he’s an alicorn.”

“Too late for that. Carrot Top blew our cover in the park.”

“Well then why are you here?”

“Because Celestia wanted to meet us here. I’m hoping she has a plan.”

“Indeed I do,” came a familiar voice.

The ponies turned to see the two alicorn sisters standing before them. Cadence stood on their left. Celestia walked up to Twilight and gave her a formal invitation. The ponies gathered around her as she read the message aloud.

“Princesses Celestia, Luna, Cadence and Twilight Sparkle invite you to a party to be thrown at Canterlot Castle tomorrow. This party will be in honor of the visit of Prince Fonzie, a foreign dignitary on tour of our fair realm. It is hoped that all will be able to attend this grand festivity.”

“Well?” asked Cadence.

Before Twilight could answer, Rarity stepped in.

“Well personally, I think Fonzie is a rather poor title for a royal prince. Mr. Fonzie, what is your real name?”

“Eyy, I’ve always been the Fonz, I always will be the Fonz.”

“Richie, what is his real name?”

“Alright I’ll tell ya,” interrupted the Fonz. He motioned for Rarity to come over.

He whispered something into her ear.

“Oh well I don’t see how that’s a problem. Arthur is a fine, respectable name.”

“Arthur?” Rainbow Dash said, unsuccessfully trying to stifle a laugh, ”BWAA-HHAAAA-HAAA!”

She stopped when she noticed Fonzie’s stern glare.

“Eyy, No one calls the Fonz, Arthur.”

“Princess Celestia,” Twilight interrupted, “I don’t mean to be disrespectful but… ARE YOU CRAZY!?!?!?!? We don’t want to make a big deal about this whole thing!”

“Twilight,” answered back Celestia, calm as ever, “The invitations are already sent and their cover was already blown. All the ponies in Ponyville are expecting a party in honor of Prince Fonzie. Now Pinkie, I’m hoping I can count on you to plan the festivities.”

“I GET TO PLAN A PARTY?????” Pinkie exclaimed, “FOR CANTERLOT?????”

“Yes.”

“I am so there.”

“Very good. Now, Applejack, I was hoping you would bake for the occasion.”

“You can count on me to bake up a delicious batch of everything from apple fritters to apple tarts.”

“Thank you. Also, Fluttershy, I was hoping your songbird choir would perform for the party.”

“Oh, Ok.”

“Wonderful. Rainbow Dash, I was hoping you could team up with the Wonderbolts to provide the entertainment.”

“WHAT!?!?!?!?!” Rainbow said, shooting up off the ground, “You want me to perform with the ‘squeak’ WONDERBOLTS???? OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH!!!!!!!!!”

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Princess Celestia said, smiling, “And Twilight, I was hoping you would oversee the preparations.”

“Of course your Highness.”

“What about me?” Rarity interrupted, “What would you like me to do?”

“I was hoping you would design an ensemble for Prince Fonzie.”

“Design for a royal party?” Rarity said.

She swooned into her friend’s hooves.

“Then I leave this party in your hooves. We will see you tomorrow.”

Celestia turned to leave.

Cadence stepped up and told Twilight, “I’ll be there all week in case you need help.”

The alicorns disappeared in three bright flashes of light leaving the ponies wondering what to do next.

“I think I shall go pack some fabric for Prince Fonzie’s ensemble,” Rarity said.

She turned towards the Carousel Boutique.

“I’ll go help ya,” The Fonz said.

“Your assistance would be greatly appreciated,” Rarity said with a smile, “Then I can get an idea of what you’d like.”

The two headed off for Rarity’s boutique.

“We can use the family cart to get there,” Applejack said.

“Or we could just take the train AJ,” pointed out Rainbow.

“I think AJ had a better idea,” Twilight said, “We want to keep a low profile if possible.”

“Big Mac could take us,” Applejack pointed out, “I know Apple Bloom, Sweetie Bell and Scootaloo would love to see a real Canterlot party. Plus Granny Smith could help me with the baking.”

“Good idea,” Twilight said, “Alright AJ, can you go and get the cart ready? We leave tomorrow morning, early.”

“So early?” Fluttershy asked.

“Yes, we only have a day to get this party set up.”

The ponies left Twilight’s castle, all except for Twilight and Richie, who started to prepare for the trip. Fluttershy and Potsie headed for Fluttershy’s cottage, AJ headed for Sweet Apple Acres, Pinkie and Ralph skipped off to the joke shop for some things to cause practical jokes and Rainbow sped up to her home in the clouds. Discord went outside, donned an aviator’s jacket, boarded the Red Baron’s Tri-plane and flew off to his house to prepare for the party.

“HEEEEEELLLLLLLPPPPPPP!!!!!!” Spike screamed as he tore across Sweet Apple Acres.

His scream interrupted Applejack, who was loading the cart for the upcoming trip to Canterlot.

“Spike,” Applejack said, stopping the running dragon in his tracks, “What’s the matter?”

“Rarity… ‘gasp’… kidnapped… ‘gasp’… Diamond dogs… ‘gasp’… SAVE HER!”

“Not again,” Applejack said, rolling her eyes, “Well, let’s go find the others.”

Noticing how tired Spike was from his several mile race, Applejack placed the panting dragon on her back and ran in the direction of Ponyville.

It wasn’t long before Applejack made it there. With the help of a lot of screaming, Applejack brought everypony together in the town square.

“Bad news everypony,” she said, “Rarity’s been captured by the diamond dogs… again.”

“You think they would learn,” Twilight said, “Ok, let’s go save the diamond dogs.”

“Save the diamond dogs?” Richie muttered as they galloped off.

“NOOOOOOOO!” howled the leader of the diamond dogs in agony, “STOP THE WHINING PONY- I MEAN MISS RARITY. WE’LL DO ANYTHING!”

“But I thought you wanted whining,” Rarity whined.

“We’ll take it from here fellas,” Twilight said as the ponies entered the cave, “Just next time remember why you don’t want to kidnap Rarity.”

“Yes. Thank you pony. Take her!”

“I was only looking for a couple jewels for Prince Arthur’s ensemble when they grabbed me again,” Rarity explained as they exited the tunnel.

“I can respect a lady who can handle herself,” said Fonzie who had been trying to dig out the Diamond Dog’s tunnel until he heard them screaming for mercy.

“Please your Highness,” Rarity said, “If you don’t mind, call me Rarity.”

“Are ya’ll ready for the trip?” Applejack asked the group of ponies who stood before her.

“Eyyup,” answered Big Mac, who was already hooked up to the wagon.

“Alright, that means we only need to wait for a few more slackers,” Rainbow said as she hovered above the heads of the group.

Rarity trotted up to the small crowd with her younger sister. Sweetie Bell had packed light but the same could not be said about her sister. Spike followed them close behind weighed down by a pile of Rarity’s suitcases. Amazingly, she had packed even more than she generally did. The heap not only included her clothing, cosmetics and mane care products but also had several bolts of fabric, buttons, embellishments and a full size stallion’s mannequin.

“Gee Rarity, I hope you didn’t forget anything,” Applejack said.

“Yeah Rarity, I mean where’s the kitchen sink?” Rainbow Dash snickered as she hovered overhead with only a small saddlebag.

“Well I’m surprised that you didn’t pack more! I mean we are going to be in the fashion capital of Equestria, is it wrong of me to want to look my best?”

“Well I don’t get why you need all of this junk,” Rainbow said as she landed on the pile, causing Spike to collapse, “I don’t use any of this stuff and well, just look at me!”

“Well let’s see how you do when you realize that the outfit your wearing has a perfect hat to go along with it and you left it at home,” Rarity said in a smug tone.

“A problem we all have so very often,” Applejack said, rolling her eyes.

“Let’s stop bickering so we can go,” Twilight said, “Wait, I sense a disturbing amount of sense. Where’s Pinkie?”

“I’m right here,” Pinkie said, trotting over the hill with Ralph at her side, “I’m sorry were late. Balloons and streamers are easy to pack but packing rock candy and cupcakes is harder than you might think.”

“But Pinkie, I’m going to be baking for the party,” Applejack said.

“I know,” Pinkie said, smiling, “This is for lunch!”

She opened a small suitcase to let out an onslaught of pastries and candy. She smiled and stuffed it all back into the suitcase.

“Well, we’re all here. Let’s go,” Twilight said.

The ponies clambered up onto the wagon; Big Mac started and they pulled off.

BONK!! KLANK!!! THUD!!! KLANK!!!

BONK!! KLANK!!! THUD!!! KLANK!!!

BONK!! KLANK!!! THUD!!! KLANK!!!

The ponies bounced up and down as they headed towards Canterlot.

“A-a-are we there yet?” the CMC’s asked.

“Not yet fillies,” Applejack said, smiling at their impatience, “We just left ten minutes ago. This trip will take most of a day.”

“WHAT?!?!?!” the fillies bawled.

“But that’s way too long. The train only takes an hour or so,” Apple Bloom whined.

“I agree girls,” Pinkie said, “That’s way too long. I need as much time to plan the party as I can get. But I can fix this.”

Pinkie hopped off of the wagon and gave Big Mac a piece of candy.

“I don’t see how a piece of candy is gonna speed up Big Maa-“ Applejack started but didn’t finish.

Once Big Mac had swallowed the candy, he became a red, speeding blur. The ponies had to hold on for their lives. When Big Mac finally stopped Rarity shrieked at the state of her mane. The others stared on in silence.

The wagon was stopped right in front of the gates of Canterlot. Some guards gave funny looks at Big Mac, who was vibrating in place. But once they saw the invitation with the royal seal, they let them in. Big Mac sped through at breakneck speed, heading straight for the castle.

They dismounted the cart and Big Mac flew to the stables to park the cart.

“What do you call that candy?” Twilight said as she watched Big Mac speed off, “Super-spectacular-speed sweets?”

“What are you talking about Twilight?” Pinkie said as she tossed a piece of the same candy into her mouth, “This candy isn’t powerful.”

“Then why did it do that to Big Mac?”

“Oh, this is my special candy. I add a smidgen more sugar. It’s usually just for me. I need the extra energy or I get sluggish.”

“That explains something I’ve wondered about since I moved to Ponyville.”

“Really, What?”

“Forget it. Let’s go in everypony.”

They headed into Canterlot Castle slowly, waiting for Granny Smith. The Apple’s headed for the kitchen while Fonzie, Rarity and Sweetie Bell headed for a room to design his outfit. Rainbow Dash headed for the Wonderbolts to get measured for her uniform; Scootaloo followed Rainbow like a puppy. Fluttershy, Potsie and her songbirds headed to the music room to rehearse.

Pinkie unloaded her party cannon and started to decorate. Ralph started to place balloons bunches everywhere while Twilight began checking off items from the list that Spike had prepared.

“Yehaaww!” hollered Pinkie as she fired off her party cannon.

“Balloons… Check. Streamers… Check. Tablecloths… Check.”

“Is she decorating with artillery?” Richie asked.

“Yeah, what else would you have me deck the halls with?” Pinkie said with a grin.

She began firing off the cannon randomly.

“Deck the halls! ‘BANG!’ Deck the halls! ‘BANG!’ Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! ‘BANG! BANG!’”

“Never ‘BANG!’ mind,” Richie said, rolling his eyes.

“Well Richie,” Twilight interrupted, “Shall we move ‘BANG!’ on? We still need to check on all the ‘BANG!’ others.”

“I’m going to stay here ‘BANG!’ and help Ralph and Pinkie,” Richie said.

“Ok, come on Spike.”

“Right ‘BANG!’ behind you,” Spike said, following Twilight into the kitchen.

They left Pinkie firing the cannon and Ralph and Richie covering their ears.

“Alright,” Applejack said, “I already know what we’ll have for a dessert, apple brown betty. How about apple pie for a starter? And for the main course, apple fritters!”

“Sounds perfect!” said Granny Smith, “What do you think Big Mac?”

“Eeyup.”

“Well, Applejack,” Twilight said as she and Spike entered the kitchen, “Do you think that maybe your food plan could have a dish without apples.”

“What?!?!” Applejack said, staring down Twilight, “Are you sayin’ that my apple dishes aren’t good enough for these fancy-schmancy, hoity-toity Canterlot ponies? Well I’ve been baking for years and I think I know what I’m doin’ thank you very much.”

Applejack resumed her work and the rest of the Apple Family shunned Twilight.

“Sorry Applejack, whatever you think is best. On a different note, what kind of drinks (besides apple cider) will be available at the party?” Twilight said, checking food off of her list.

“Oh we ordered some choice drinks from Berry Punch before we left, I think Big Mac left them on the cart,” Applejack said staring at her big brother.

Big Mac blushed and raced towards the stable to retrieve the bottles.

“We’ll also have water, milk (fresh from the cows) and punch. Is that enough?” Applejack asked.

Twilight nodded and checked drinks off her list.

“Well I gotta go, I need to check on Rainbow and the Wonderbolts.”

“Here, have and apple fritter to go. It’s fresh.”

“AND HOT!”

“You call that a spectacular performance? I’ve seen tighter turns from fillies! That was clearly a below-average run so we will do it AGAIN!” hollered Spitfire at the panting, perspiring, perfectly pooped ponies.

“Their amazing, aren’t they?” asked Scootaloo, sitting on a cloud, observing.

Twilight flew past the awed Scootaloo to address Spitfire.

“If I can interrupt for a moment, I would like to have a word with Rainbow Dash,”

“Of course your Highness,” Spitfire said in surprise at Twilight’s sudden appearance, “Alright Rainbow, fifteen minutes. That gives us just enough time to run through the whole performance again! To your starting positions everypony… DOUBLETIME!”

The ponies, groaning all the way, flew to their respective places to begin one of the most intricate airshows ever executed by the Wonderbolts.

“She’s right,” Rainbow said as Twilight landed and she hovered slightly overhead, “Feather Wing needs to tighten her turns and Fleet Foot isn’t living up to her name. But don’t get me started on Soarin’. I swear, all that pony thinks about is food. But anyway, what’s up?”

“I need an update on how the shows progress is coming. But I think I just got it. You’ll all be fine for the party I’m sure but I’m just worried.”

“No problem Twilight. These are the Wonderbolts we’re talking about. They are perhaps the only better flyers in Equestria than yours truly. They’ll have it together for the party or my name isn’t Rainbow Dash.”

“That’s great Rainbow. How does it feel to be flying with your heroes?”

“Even more awesome than I first envisioned! This has literally been my dream come true! Nothing tops it, well, except possibly meeting the real Daring Do but still this is my dream to fly with my heroes! It’s finally coming true! ‘Squeak’ Well I gotta go and get ready for the show. See you guys later!”

Rainbow took to the skies and joined the group of Wonderbolts mid-performance.

“Who’s next?” Spike asked as Twilight checked off the entertainment.

“We should go and check on how Fluttershy’s songbird choir is sounding. Come along Spike.”

Fluttershy slowly conducted her animal friends in the Equestria national anthem.

“That was wonderful but I think we can do even better. Now, during this one passage, I think the altos might be just a teensy bit off key. So can we run through that again please?”

The Birds obliged Fluttershy and on the next run through, the choir sounded like a slice of heaven. Potsie stood by the side with his eyes closed, swaying in time to the music.

“Oh Fluttershy,” Twilight said as she and Spike entered, “That sounds beautiful. You and your little friends have once again outdone yourselves.”

“Oh, thank you Twilight. How are all the other preparations coming?”

“Great. I’m sure Rainbow and The Wonderbolts will wow the party guests. Applejack and her family have a simply scrumptious (If a bit apple rich) menu planned out and Pinkie’s going wild with the streamers.”

“That’s nice,” Fluttershy said with a demure little smile.

“How are you liking the music… uh, Potsie right?”

“Hmm?” Potsie said, opening his eyes, “Oh it’s wonderful.”

“Ok,” Twilight said checking off music from the list, “If you’ll excuse me Fluttershy I need to check on Rarity and Fonzie now.”

“Ok Twilight,” Fluttershy said, picking up her baton again, “Now, let’s take it from the top everypony.”

“Just a few more sequins Darling,” Rarity yelled as she tried to attach some sparkles to Fonzie’s outfit.

“You already got me looking like a disco ball. Granted I’m a very good-looking disco ball but still!” screamed the Fonz as he ducked and dodged the onslaught of sequins.

“Hi hope I’m not-“ Twilight began as she entered but received a face full of sequins, “Interrupting anything,” she finished groggily… and sparkly.

“What’s the matter with Rarity?” Twilight asked Sweetie Bell as the two of them observed Rarity chasing Fonzie around the room armed with a magically levitated cloud of shimmering sequins.

“Oh Rarity wants to add a few more sequins to Mr. Fonzie’s outfit cause she says it would ‘perfect the ensemble and make it manifique!’” Sweetie Bell said in a very good Rarity impersonation, “And Mr. Fonzie said, ‘Eyy (Whatever that means) Dis’ ain’t the Fonz’s style. It ain’t cool.’ And then Rarity said, ‘Really Arthur all you wear is that silly little jacket and I think-‘ to which Mr. Fonzie interrupted with, ‘SILLY? Eyyyy, not cool. This ain’t just no leather jacket. This is a part of the Fonz.’ And that’s when Rarity started chasing him around the room.”

“Wow Sweetie, you do very good voice impersonations.”

“REALLY? Hey, maybe that’s my special talent, voice impersonations! I gotta go tell the other crusaders!”

With that, Sweetie Bell rocketed out of the room to find her friends.

“Now Rarity,” Twilight said, stopping both ponies in their tracks with a freeze spell, “You know that he is the customer and he should have final say. So if he thinks that’s enough sequins then maybe you should just let him have his way.”

“But Darling, I haven’t even began Prince Arthur’s outfit. He refuses to wear anything but that out-of-style jacket.”

“Eyy, everything I wear is automatically in style.”

“So I was just going to bedazzle his jacket but Prince Arthur said-“

“Look, I’m alright with the whole ‘Arthur’ thing, but don’t call me Prince anything,” Fonzie said.

“Alright. But Arthur said he wouldn’t let me glitterify his jacket.”

“Well,” Fonzie said, “Maybe one little sequin, for you. But you have to promise to take it off after this shindig. The Fonz can’t be seen with sparkles back home.”

Rarity smiled and attacked the Fonz with a pile of glittering sequins.

Twilight put a big question mark next to outfit on her checklist and left with Spike on her heels.

As they left, heading back for the main party hall, Spike listened over his shoulder where the screams of a glitterefied Fonzie could be heard.

Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Pinkie Decks the Hall… Too Much!

“Well Twilight,” Spike said as they walked down the hall towards the main room, “It looks like the party is all set up and should go off without a hitch.”

“Let’s hope so Spike,” Twilight said as she opened the door of the main room.

Whatever she had planned to say next vanished from her mind in that second.

The entire hall was… well, decked. Streamers hung from every conceivable place and confetti littered the ground like grass in Ponyville Park. The lower canopy of balloons was so thick that Twilight couldn’t even see the pony behind the disaster.

“PINKIE!!!!!”

“Yes Twilight?” said an innocent looking pink mare, who was busy trying to find an undecked crevice to deck.

“WHAT. DID. YOU. DO?!?!?!” Twilight screamed at the top of her Royal Canterlot Voice, “Don’t you ever know when to stop?!?!?!?!”

“Well Richie was so interested in my party cannon I just kept deckin’ the halls and deckin’ the halls which is a shame cause I know the Halls and they are really nice ponies.”

“The Halls? Pinkie, what are you talking about?”

“The Halls. They’re architect ponies I know. Let’s see there’s Long Hall and Grand Hall and Royal Hall and then there’s Dr. Hall, he’s the weird one in the family. Went into medicine. Invented the first throat lozenge.”

“Pinkie!” interrupted Twilight, “Stay on subject, please.”

“I am staying on subject. You asked me about my friends the Halls and wait a sec… Oh silly Pinkie, you weren’t asking me about the Halls. You were asking me why I’m decking the halls.”

“Yes,” Twilight said, regaining her composure, “Now just answer my question. Why didn’t you stop?”

“Because it’s really fun… Duh?”

“PINKIE!!!” Twilight said, her temper rising again.

Luckily for the both of them Applejack came galloping in, interrupting their disagreement.

“Whoa Nellie,” she said as she stared at the room in awe, “What happened here?”

“Oh Twilight told me to decorate and I did,” Pinkie said with an innocent smile on her bubblegum-colored face.

“I think you might have overdone it by just a hair,” Applejack said, smiling at Pinkie.

“You think? Awww, that means I have to take some down. I worked soooooooooooooooooo hard decorating this place.”

“Here’s an idea,” AJ said, thinking aloud, “Why not just move the decorations instead of takin’ ‘em down. I mean, you’ll have to decorate the other rooms too won’t ya’? Well, just move these decorations to those rooms and yer problem is solved.”

“That’s a great idea Applejack,” Twilight said, “But what brought you here in the first place?”

“I heard you yellin’ like a crazed timberwolf and I knew something was wrong. Looks like I was right on the money.”

“Yeah you were. Thanks AJ,” Twilight said. Then, turning to Pinkie she continued, “Now Pinkie, I’ll help you move these decorations.”

“That sounds terrific, I’ll get Richie and Ralph to help.”

“Where are Richie and Ralph anyway?”

“They’re somewhere in here. They gotta be. RIIICCCHHHHIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLPPPHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Come on out you guys!”

Twilight heard muffled yells coming from a pile of balloons. Applejack and Twilight ran over and started digging through the pile. After a minute of tunneling, they finally unearthed a quaking Richie and a terrified Ralph.

“Let me get this straight,” Spike said, feeling slightly bewildered, “You guys were pinned under balloons? I thought they weigh virtually nothing.”

“You try being buried under five-thousand of them,” Ralph said, scrambling out of the pile of balloons, “Five-thousand nothings weigh something.”

“Well, let’s get to it,” Pinkie said.

Applejack nodded and headed back for the kitchen while Ralph, Richie, Twilight Sparkle, Spike and Pinkie began transporting decorations to the other rooms.

“Well,” said Twilight, wiping a hoof across her brow, “That just about takes care of it.”

“It sure does,” Pinkie said, smiling, “Thanks for the help. Now all that’s left is to wait a whole day.”

“Well why don’t we show our new friends around Canterlot?” Twilight suggested.

“Okie-dokey-lokie. Come on guys,” Pinkie said, hopping out of the room.

They left the room and headed down the hall. As they walked down, Twilight explained the stained-glass windows.

“That stained-glass window depicts the time my friends and I beat the evil Tyrek and that one is when we beat Nightmare Moon. This one is the time my brother Shining Armor and his wife Cadence beat the Changeling army.”

“Wow you sure beat a lot of villains here, don’t you?” Richie noted.

“Yeppie-deppie,” said Pinkie, hopping beside Twilight, “It’s Dashie’s second favorite thing to do.”

They exited the castle and walked out onto the streets of Canterlot.

“Where should we go first?” Twilight queried, “How about the Star Swirl the Bearded wing of the Canterlot library? That’s where I spent most of my time when I lived here.”

“A library huh?” Richie asked, “Well that sounds… uh that sounds…”

“Boring?” Ralph suggested.

“Boring?!” spluttered Twilight, shocked, “He was one of the most influential conjurers on the pre-classical era. It isn’t just anypony who defeated the infamous Sirens.”

“Let’s face it Twilight,” Pinkie said, putting a hoof on her friend’s shoulder, “They don’t want to see a room full of dusty old books. I know, let’s go to Donut Joe’s Donut shop! I’ll treat!”

All the ponies but Twilight nodded their heads and they headed down the street towards the donut shop.

Twilight followed a ways behind muttering something like, “How can they show so much disrespect to pony history? Where would we be now without Star Swirl the Bearded?”

“Garson,” yelled Pinkie as she slammed the door open, “Your finest table please.”

With that, she happily hopped over to the counter.

“Five of your sprinkly-est donuts please Joe,” she said smiling, then she turned to her friends and said, “What would you guys like?”

After taking the group’s order Joe grabbed the donuts and handed them to Pinkie.

“How much do I owe ya’ Joe?” Pinkie asked.

“On the house,” Joe said, smiling, “After all, you didn’t let me pay you for that super party you threw me last year.”

“Thanks Joe,” said Pinkie.

They took their donuts and walked over to a booth.

“These are fantastic!” said Ralph through a mouthful of donut.

“Donut Joe uses only the best hay in his donuts,” Pinkie said, polishing off her second donut.

Richie and Ralph stopped eating, mid-chew and promptly spat out the contents onto the table.

“What’s the matter?” Pinkie said with an oblivious look on her face, “I thought you liked them.”

“We don’t normally eat hay,” said Richie, trying to be polite.

“I hear you,” Spike said, sprinkles all over his face, “Don’t get me wrong, hay is alright but would it kill them to offer some jewels?”

Ralph put a hoof on his jaw as if he had a toothache. He mouthed the word, ‘Oww’.

Twilight, who sat on the end of the booth with a cup of tea, said, “Pinkie, I don’t think they eat the same food we do.”

“You could say that,” Richie said staring at the mess of hay on the table.

Pinkie finished off her fifth donut and grabbed a rag to clean up the mess on the table. After it was clean enough to see your reflection she suggested they go out into the forest on a nature hike.

The only way out to the forest was on a farm avenue. As the group trotted down the road, Ralph spotted a cow grazing in a field.

“Hey Richie,” he whispered to his friend, “Do you think that they talk too?”

Richie didn’t acknowledge his friend and never noticed when he stepped off the path towards the field.

Ralph squeezed under the fence rail and tip-hooved up to the sleeping cow. When he was a few feet away he tripped on his front hooves and rolled head over hooves into the back legs of the cow, knocking them out from under her.

She sat down right on top of him, her eyes widened in surprise and, swiveling her head around, she said, “Are yoooooo ok there young ‘uunnnn?”

Ralph lay there his eyes bulging as he wheezed out, “Fine mam. Could you please move?”

“Ooohh, sorry don’t cha’ knooow. My mistake.”

She got up and Ralph rolled over, breathing heavily.

Suddenly Pinkie stepped up to the cow and said in confusion, “Bertha?!?!”

The cow opened her eyes in surprise and said, “Pinkie? Why I haven’t seen yoooo since last month at the chocolate-milk-lovers-club meeting! What are yoooo dooooing here and with such an unfortuuunate fellow?”

“Oh he’s a friend of mine. He can be a little clumsy at times, but he’s really a great pony. He just doesn’t have much experience with hooves yet.”

“Whatever dooo yooo mean by that?”

“I’ll explain later. Would you like a pancake?”

“Oh how sweet of yooo Pinkie. I can’t believe yoooo remembered that about me. I think I’ll go get some milk to eat this with.”

Ralph, still in a state of shock, nodded his head. Then he bolted for the fence that separated the field from the road.

“It was wonderful seeing you again Bertha. Can we catch up over a nice glass of chocolate milk sometime? I’ll be in Canterlot until the party tonight. Do you think we could get together sometime after that?” Pinkie said with a smile.

“Oh I would love that. Let’s see, I’m free tomorrow. How about we meet early tomorrow morning at The International Barn of Pancakes?”

“Tomorrow at IBOP. Got it. Does six o’clock work for you?”

“That’s perfect. I’ll see yoooo then don’t cha’ know.”

Pinkie turned around and trotted out of the field while Bertha turned and continued to graze.

“Why did you even have a pancake, Pinkie?” Twilight asked her friend as they headed down the path.

“I always keep a pancake with me,” Pinkie replied, “In case of pancake emergencies.”

“I saw we go back to Canterlot before we get too distracted. After all the party starts pretty soon,” Twilight suggested.

They nodded and all headed back.

“I just wanted to know if she could talk,” said Ralph, coughing.

“However,” said Twilight, “Just before the party, I know just where to take you.”

“Welcome to the Canterlot Library!” said Twilight, tapping her hooves together in excitement, “This is one of my favorite places in all of Canterlot! This is the Star Swirl the Bearded wing, the spells in here are about everything from incantations to time spells. I’ve spent many a night here, studying.”

“Ooooohhhh,” said Pinkie, examining the shelves, “Fourth Wall: Fact or Fiction? By: I.M. Sane. I think I’ve read this.”

“Neat,” said Ralph, unenthused. He rolled his eyes in boredom.

“This is one of my favorite references,” Twilight said, levitating a book in front of Richie’s face, “It’s called The Essentials of Creating a List. By: Boo K. Worm. I’ve read it several times.”

“You have books about creating lists?” Richie asked in awe.

“Twilight does,” Spike answered, beginning to clean up the pile of books that had already begun to grow at Twilight’s hooves.

“Right well it’s been… strange,” Ralph said, backing away from the magenta alicorn, “But I’m gonna go ahead and -“

He dashed out of the room.

“What made him run off?” Twilight queried in confusion, “Isn’t he interested in books?”

“Ralph?” Richie asked, examining the shelves, “No. All he’s interested in is chicks.”

“CHICKS?” hollered Pinkie, scaring everypony half to death, “Well then he should have stayed with Fluttershy. She has all kinds of critters and I know she has chickens.”

“Different kind of chicks,” Richie said, rolling his eyes, “But I think I’ll stay here for a while. This is really neat.”

“Fine,” Pinkie said, hopping towards the door, “Then I’ll go find Ralph and treat him to a grass smoothie.”

Richie’s face turned slightly green-ish and he turned back to the shelves of books in front of him.

“Slumber 101: Everything You’ve Ever Wanted To Know About Slumber Parties But Were Afraid To Ask?” Richie asked as he examined yet another book title, “You ponies sure don’t have much to write about.”

Chapter 5

Chapter 5: This Is Our Big Night!

Rarity magically adjusted Fonzie’s bow-tie as the guests began arriving at the party. The Cutie Mark Crusaders hopped up and down in excitement; Pinkie hopped next to them in equal exuberance.

“Welcome,” said Princess Celestia to each guest as they climbed the stairs to the ball room.

“HOWDY!” screamed Pinkie as soon as they entered the ball room, “Feel free to party down just like they DON’T do at the Grand Galloping Gala!”

Canterlot high society rolled their eyes at her and continued. The ponies from Ponyville stopped and talked to her or just did what she said and cut the rug.

“Wow,” said Richie as he and Ralph stared at the multitude of ponies. Potsie wasn’t with them because he hadn’t left Fluttershy’s side all day. He loved the music that she and her choir played and didn’t like it when they stopped.

There was a flash of light and Discord appeared in a satin ball gown.

“Uh Discord,” Twilight said with a funny stare, “That’s how girls usually dress for parties.”

“Oh,” said Discord, blushing at the stares of the gathered ponies, “I AM embarrassed.”

He clicked his high-heeled shoes together and the gown disappeared to reveal Discord in a freshly pressed suit. He wore a fake mustache to go along with it.

“Please,” said Pinkie, hopping up to him, “Grab a cup of punch and enjoy the party.”

“It’s rather dull here,” said Discord, observing the crowds of ponies talking, dancing and eating, “But I can fix that in a heartbeat.”

Discord rolled up his sleeves and raised his paw and claw in preparation.

“NO!!” yelled Twilight, putting a hoof up to stop Discord, “We don’t need any chaos, thanks.”

“Hmm, very well,” mumbled Discord, “I think I’ll go over and talk to Fluttershy.”

He skated away on skates that had not been on his feet when he’d arrived.

“How does Fluttershy put up with him?” Rainbow asked, her mouth half-full of apple fritters.

Twilight shrugged and turned around to find a, snobby-looking as usual, Prince Blueblood.

Who invited him? Twilight thought to herself.

“Where’s the hors d’oeuvres table?” he asked Twilight with his muzzle turned up to the sky.

Twilight harrumphed in annoyance,

“It’s over there Blueblood.”

“PRINCE Blueblood,” he corrected with a glare.

“Yeah,” said Rainbow Dash, “And she’s an alicorn princess. Wanna compare Your Princeliship?”

Prince Blueblood stared at Rainbow Dash and said, “SHE may be a princess but you are just some Pegasus.”

“Haven’t you heard?” Rainbow spat back, “We beat Tyrek. What have you done recently?”

“I don’t need to do anything,” Blueblood said, “I’m a prince.”

With that, he sauntered over to the food table.

“Where are the hors d’oeuvres?” he asked.

“Or what?” Applejack asked, one eyebrow raised.

"Are you talking back to me? A prince?"

"Nope, I was just askin' what the hay you just said."

"I said hors d'oevres!"

"How do ya' spell that?"

"Uhh... O-R-D... No wait. H-O-R-S... Umm-uhh... Well, It doesn't matter just give me something fit for the royal tongue!"

“We should have something like that here. Apple fritters, Apple pie, Apple cobbler, Apple brown betty-“

“Oh you simple country folk,” Blueblood chided as he strolled away.

“What did he just call me?” Applejack demanded.

“HI!” yelled Pinkie as she hopped beside Blueblood, “My friend Rarity said you’re a… now what did she call you? Oh yes, she called you a useless, no good, snobby jerk! Or is that a jerky snob? I've got... A snerk, or a job... But you don't have a job, so that can't be right. I just think you need a smile and a laugh, and good for you I like making anypony laugh. So did you hear the one about the aardvark that walked into a watering hole?”

Blueblood called some guards to shove Pinkie away from him.

Fonzie heard the commotion from the other side of the room where he stood with Richie, Ralph and Rarity.

“Does that guy need a lesson taught to him?” He asked, attempting unsuccessfully to roll up the sleeves on his glittery, leather jacket.

“It’s only Prince Blueblood, Arthur,” Rarity said, stopping him, “Don’t even give him the attention.”

Blueblood strolled away from a downtrodden Pinkie Pie, who lay on the ballroom floor dejected. He made his way over to Fluttershy and her songbirds.

“Can’t you and your silly little choir play something else?” he said with disdain dripping from his voice, “We all know the Equestrian anthem.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” said Fluttershy, shying away, “What would you like us to play?”

“NOW JUST HOLD IT RIGHT THERE BLUEBLOOD!” screamed Rarity, galloping in between him and Fluttershy, “Be rude to anypony else and I would have ignored it because anypony else could shake it off but NOPONY IS RUDE TO FLUTTERSHY!”

“Oh,” said Blueblood, sneering, “I remember you. Your Rari-whatever your name is. You’re the pony who tried to get cake on me at the Grand Galloping Gala.”

“Eyyyyyyy,” said Fonzie, stepping right up to Blueblood, “Is this guy bothin' you?”

"He's a snerk!" yelled Pinkie.

“And what are you going to do about it?” Blueblood harassed.

Rarity caught Fonzie’s hoof and said, “Now Arthur I can handle this all by myself-“

‘WHACK!’

“-LET HIM HAVE IT!!!!!!!!!”

Blueblood lay on the dance floor, dazed by Fonzie’s blow.

“HUZZAH!” came a voice from across the room, “HIS TIMEPIECE HAS BEEN POLISHED!!!!”

“Luna,” Celestia said to her sister.

“My apologies sister,” Luna said, then she murmured under her breath, “Oh most wonderful of nights.”

“I best go and speak with my nephew,” Celestia said, walking over.

“But,” Luna said, stopping her, “I understand he is thy nephew but art thou really on his side?”

“No,” said Celestia, a slight smile on her face, “I’m going over there to warn him he better leave before Prince Fonzie decks him again.”

She left the navy blue alicorn quietly rejoicing and walked up to her nephew.

“Auntie Celestia,” said Blueblood from the floor, “Did you see that? That clod hit my royal face! Do something.”

“I’m afraid,” said his aunt, “Prince Fonzie is a prince, your equal. Also he isn’t from Equestria. Therefore he has diplomatic immunity.”

Blueblood gave her a strange look, then got off the floor and galloped out of the room in embarrassment.

When Blueblood had left the room, the gathered ponies erupted into jubilant cheers. They hoisted Fonzie up onto their shoulders and carried him around the room.

“HOW ARE THEY HOLDING MY UP WITHOUT HANDS?!?!” hollered the Fonz above the din.

“HANDS?!?!?!” screamed Lyra, her eyes darting around the room, searching for the pony who had uttered the wonderful word.

“Whoa,” said the Fonz, “I don’t even need to snap my fingers here.”

“FINGERS!!!!!” screamed Lyra, jumping into the crowd supporting Fonzie.

The crowd collapsed and Twilight sorted through the piles of ponies to find Lyra, sitting next to Fonzie, intently studying his hoof.

“No… Fingers…” she said, disappointed.

“No Lyra,” said Bon-Bon, shoving her roommate away, “No fingers. I keep telling you, there’s no such thing as humans.”

“I know they exist Bon-Bon,” Lyra said as she was ushered away.

“That was… weird,” the Fonz said, still lying on the floor from his great fall.

“That was Lyra,” Twilight said, “famed conspiracy theorist. She’s convinced that Celestia is lying to all her subjects, and that I’m a spy for Celestia and… some such.”

“Wow,” Richie said, “And I thought we only had people like that back home.”

“Fluttershy,” Pinkie said to her friend, “I think we’ve had enough of the slow stand-around-and-talk-music. Time to get along with the upbeat-blow-your-hooves-off-dance-music. Hit it Vinyl!”

A pony with a short blue mane started pumping music through two huge speakers.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN SLOW-STAND-AROUND-AND-TALK-MUSIC?” hollered Richie above the booming noise.

“AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN UPBEAT-BLOW-YOUR-HOOVES-OFF-DANCE-MUSIC?” added Ralph.

“I HAD THE WHOLE PARTY SCHEDULED!” Pinkie yelled back, over Vinyl’s speakers, “WE HAVE THE SLOW MUSIC THAT FLUTTERSHY’S CHOIR PLAYED,” she pointed a hoof at Fluttershy, who was trying to round up her frightened critters while being quite scared herself, “AND WE HAVE THE PAR-TEY MUSIC PROVIDED BY VINYL.”

“PLEASE PINKIE,” yelled the only pony in the room with sunglasses, “WHEN I’M SPINNING SOME DISKS, IT’S DJ PON-3.”

“SORRY DJ PON-3,” yelled Pinkie.

“Pinkie Pie,” said Fluttershy, holding a couple of birds in her comforting grasp, “Would you mind terribly if Viny- I mean DJ PON-3 stopped um… dropping the beat so I could take my little animal friends outside?”

Then, noticing that Pinkie could not hear her above the blasting speakers Fluttershy said, “Oh, never mind. I can see you’re busy.”

“PINKIE PIE!” yelled Discord, with the Blue Jay Tenor and Cardinal Soprano in his tight clamp, “WOULD YOU STOP THE MUSIC SO FLUTTERSHY CAN TAKE HER SONGBIRDS OUTSIDE?”

“OH,” Pinkie hollered smiling, “WELL WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST SAY SO?? DJ PON-3, QUIT IT FOR A SEC!”

“I thought I did,” said Fluttershy as the beat subsided.

Discord, Potsie and Fluttershy began rounding up Fluttershy’s songbird choir and taking them outside. After all the birds had left the building, DJ PON-3 dropped the beat.

“What’s that scratching noise?” Richie asked Vinyl as her head bopped up and down with the music.

“You mess with the record to make a cool beat,” she said.

Richie observed the pony draw her hoof across the record, making the track skip back away.

“Wow,” Richie said, “Maybe we should try that when we get home on the jukebox.”

“Jukebox?” Vinyl asked, “Wow you guys are like retro, aren’t you?”

The music stopped suddenly as Vinyl’s DJ booth turned off. Vinyl inspected her booth and could not figure out what was wrong.

“I always keep the equipment in great shape,” she said, “I don’t know what the matter is.”

“I’ll take care of it,” said the Fonz.

He walked up to DJ PON-3’s booth and rapped it with a hoof. The booth started back up again without missing a beat.

“Woah dude,” Vinyl said, looking over her glasses at the Fonz, “How did you do that?”

“Eyy,” said Fonzie, “You wouldn’t understand it. Cause you ain’t the Fonz,” then, turning to Rarity he said, “May I have this dance?”

Rarity beamed and Fonzie led her out onto the dance floor.

“RAINBOW DASH!” yelled Spitfire, checking her hoofwatch, “Time to go.”

“See you girls after the show,” Rainbow Dash said as she flew off to get dressed and prepare with the Wonderbolts.

She stopped somewhere across the room and said something that Twilight could not hear. But, knowing Rainbow Dash as she did, Twilight guessed it was something along the lines of, “Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!”

The Wonderbolts airshow was one of the most spectacular things ever to be viewed at Canterlot Castle. Even after the team was over with their intricate display of flips and turns and everypony thought it was over it wasn’t. Well it technically was. During the course of the show, Rainbow Dash became so excited that she unknowingly executed a sonic rainboom at the end. Spitfire scolded her for breaking formation, but on the inside thought the rainboom added to the routine. Those who had witnessed the sonic rainboom before stared on in awe while the ones who hadn’t seen a sonic rainboom thought the world was blowing up. Only when they noticed the calm ponies around them did they realize it was for show.

“BEST. DAY. EVER!” Rainbow exclaimed upon landing.

“What can I say?” asked Spitfire, “You’re reckless and impetuous Rainbow Dash, but you made this show spectacular. You’re always welcome with the Wonderbolts.”

“WHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEE!” screamed Pinkie, “WONDERBOLTS PARTY!!!!!!!”

All the ponies headed back into the castle, where they partied the night away.

It was the next day and the ponies were packing up their cart to leave Canterot after setting down from the party last night. As they left, Pinkie offered Big Macintosh another piece of candy. Luckily for Rarity’s mane, Big Mac refused.

They left Canterlot and arrived back into Ponyville very early the next morning. Big Macintosh yawned as he carried a snoozing Apple Bloom back to Sweet Apple Acres. Rarity and a drowsy Sweetie Bell headed towards Rarity’s boutique. Rainbow Dash hovered above the dreaming Scootaloo for a moment with a small grin on her face. Then she yelled, “Alright Squirt! Enough snoozing, let’s go clear the skies! Looks like the other Pegasi have been slacking in my absence.”

Scootaloo, despite being worn-out jumped up and followed Rainbow Dash off like a puppy dog.

“Remember, my house is the gigantic cloud with rainbow water features,” she yelled over her shoulder to Fonzie as she and Scootaloo trotted and flew off, “Hard to miss.”

Wynona, Opal, Owlicious, Tank and Gummy ran, shuffled or flew to their owners. They were followed by a Pegasus with a pitch-black coat, emerald-green eyes and a fire-colored mane.

“TANK!” yelled Rainbow as her beloved pet flew into a pole, “Watch out.”

Tank corrected himself and whirred over to his beloved owner. They shared a hidden nose bump and then took to the clouds to clear the skies. Rainbow Dash annihilated cloud after cloud while Tank chewed on a smaller one. But as useless as he was, Tank could do no wrong in Rainbow’s eyes. Scootaloo just observed from the ground, wishing she could fly up there and join them.

“Look sis,” Sweetie Bell said to Rarity, “There’s Opal.”

For reasons beyond Rarity, Opal was in the process of trying to run away for her dear life.

“Opal Essence,” Rarity said, levitating her fleeing cat up to her for a snuggle, “I do hope that Firedancer took good care of you.”

Pinkie Pie suddenly turned her head off into the distance and said, “For all readers who have no idea what Rarity just said, Firedancer is Nobody’s OC. No One doesn't have an OC... yet.”

“O-what?” Applejack asked.

Then, remembering Twilight’s many injuries when she had questioned Pinkie’s sense she paid Firedancer for watching Wynona and left with her dog at her heels.

“GUMMY!!!!!!” yelled Pinkie throwing her hooves around her indifferent alligator.

“Who’s a good alligator? I brought you some donuts from Canterlot. I missed you sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much! What?” she asked, putting her ear to her alligator’s mouth, “No I missed you much more. What’s that? NO I MISSED YOU MORE! And that’s final Buster!” Then she happily trotted off, Gummy swinging about from his clamp on her tail. Ralph followed a ways behind laughing about Gummy all the way.

“She has a pet alligator?” asked Potsie, staring down the road at the fading pink mare.

“Oh yes,” Fluttershy said as she and Discord unloaded her small bag and animal friends, “I remember when she came to me looking for a pet. She said she wanted a pet that could umm… par-tey and she said it would be nice if it were pink. So I was showing her a particularly extroverted flamingo when she spotted Gummy across the yard. She ran over and grabbed him and said, ‘I think he likes to party!’ and they’ve been together ever since.”

Discord picked up her suitcase and they all headed for Fluttershy’s cottage with the choir in tow.

“Owlicious!” Twilight said as her pet owl flew up.

“Who?” said the owl.

“You,” said Twilight, “Oh, never mind.”

“So,” Twilight said to Richie, “I suppose that you guys could go back to your own world any time now. We just need Discord. Discord, can you come here?”

Silence.

“Discord, where are you?”

“Didn’t he go with Fluttershy and Potsie?”

“Yeah, but it always seems that he is around to make a nuisance of himself. I guess I can talk to him later. There’s no hurry to get you back home, is there?”

“Nah,”

“We should probably head back to the castle. Where’s Spike?”

“Oh he went off following Rarity like the little fellow was on a mission,” Fonzie said, then he continued, with a sarcastic air in his voice, “Am I to assume the little dragon has a crush on Miss Rarity?”

“I can’t answer that. I Pinkie Promised. And nopony can break a Pinkie Promise.”

“EVVVEEERRRRR!” Pinkie said, popping out of a vase which nopony had seen her get into.

Richie stared into the vase after Pinkie had retracted. Nopony was in it. This made Richie go pale and faint.

“I better get him to the castle,” Twilight said.

She then proceeded to drag him magically by the tail through Ponyville. They made quite an odd scene. A magenta alicorn dragging a Unicorn through the streets of Ponyville followed by an owl.

Fonzie entered Carousel Boutique, causing the bell to sound softly.

“Hello and welcome to Carousel- Oh it’s you Arthur,” Rarity said as she came out of the back room, “What may I do for you?”

“I was hoping that you could hold up your end of the bargain and un-glitterify my jacket,” Fonzie said, then, rolling his eyes finished, “I can NOT believe I just said that.”

“Oh yes,” Rarity said, “I almost forgot. Well, leave it here and I’ll have it ready later.”

Fonzie left his jacket and headed out the door.

Outside he found an agitated Spike.

“Listen Buster,” Spike said in his scariest of voices.

“It’s the Fonz,” said the Fonz.

“Fonz, Buster, I don’t care,” Spike said, throwing his claws into the air, “Rarity is too good for you and I saw her first. So if I ever catch you with her again I’ll-”

The Fonz cut him off with a raised hoof.

“Now listen Shortstack.”

“It’s Spike.”

Fonz glared at Spike a moment and then continued.

“Anyway Shortstack, I know Rarity is too good for me. She’s got class and grace and poise. And I’m just incredibly good-lookin’. What I’m sayin’ is, I’m not in love with Rarity and I was even willing to teach you how to get her to like you. As long as you treat her with the respect she deserves.”

“And why would I need you to teach me?” Spike asked.

“Watch.”

The Fonz turned out into the street and said,

“HANDS!”

Out of nowhere came Lyra.

“HANDS!?!? WHERE!?!?”

“Was she… following you?” Spike asked in bewilderment.

“No… well… yes…” Lyra said, “Maybe… Why do you have something to hide? Spill it Prince, what do you know about hands?”

“So sorry,” said Bon-Bon as she dragged Lyra away.

“That’s nothing,” Spike said, “Anypony could get Lyra’s attention by yelling hands.”

“HANDS?!?!” came the far-off voice.

“Alright,” said the Fonz, “Watch this.”

He walked out into the street and yelled, “The Fonz is giving out free kisses to any mare who wants one!”

He was suddenly surrounded by a swath of mares ranging from fillies to almost old enough to be married mares.

“I get your point!” yelled Spike over the crowd of mares, “so I guess I could use some help with Rarity.”

“Good,” Fonz said, “Alright ladies. This has been a test. Disperse!”

The mares, grumbling all the way, left.

“Let the lesson begin,” said the Fonz.

Author's Note

If we got the part with Vinyl wrong, please let us know. Neither of us really knows what a DJ does with the turntable, even Google couldn't help us.
Sorry.

Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Adventures in Ponyville

“Now,” said the Fonz, “First things first. You need to be a confident. Strong.”

“Confident, Strong,” Spike said, scribbling on a piece of parchment, “What else?”

“Firstly,” said the Fonz, ripping the paper from Spike’s claws, “Cool guys don’t write notes. That’s for nerds.”

“Oh… Uh right!” Spike said, giving Fonzie a claws up.

“Now give me a big Eyyyyyyyyyy.”

“Eyyy?”

“Not Eyyy? Eyyyyyyy.”

“How is that different?”

“You wouldn’t understand. Cause you ain’t the Fonz.”

“Ok.”

“Not ok. Eyyyyyy.”

“I don’t get how this is supposed to make Rarity like me.”

“Woah. It works for me don’t it?”

“I guess so.”

“So try it.”

Spike cleared his throat and let loose his manliest, “Eyyyyyy.”

He looked to see Fonzie holding back a grin.

“That was… uhmm… ‘snicker’ good for a beginner.”

“Yeah right.”

“Just put in a little practice and you’ll be ‘Eyyyy’-ing with the best.”

“Really?”

“Well obviously not the best. Because that would be me.”

“Oh.”

“Let’s try again. Eyyyyyyy.”

“Eyyyyyyyy.”

“There we go,” Rarity said stepping back from her mannequin where she had de-sparkled Fonzie’s leather jacket, “I’m sure Arthur will be quite pleased.”

The door opened and Rarity turned expecting to see Arthur.

She looked around and then down to see Spike in dark shades and a leather jacket just like the Fonz’s.

“Eyyyyy Rarity,” he said in quite a manly voice, “How’s it goin’?”

“Oh Spike,” Rarity said, “It’s just you. I’m fine thank you. I was actually hoping you were Arthur. You see I just finished de-glitterifying his jacket and I thought he would come sooner for it.” He eyes opened wide and then, “Oh Spikey-Wikey, I would be ever so grateful if you would run this jacket over to him. Would you?”

Spike felt his heart melt.

“Uh, sure-“

Then, remembering what Fonzie had taught him he said,

“Sorry Rarity, but I got other things to be doin’. Maybe you should ask Fonzie to come and get it himself.”

“Oh I understand if you’re busy Spike. I was just hoping that I could save Arthur a trip.”

Then, noticing Spike’s odd attire she said,

“Pardon me Spike but are you feeling alright? You don’t dress like this often. Is something the matter?”

“Oh it’s just that I’m done being a wimpy nerd.”

“A wimpy nerd? Oh Spike, you’re not a wimpy nerd.”

“I’m not?”

“Not at all! Why you’re just the cutest little dragon-wagon I’ve ever known. You’re my little Spikey-Wikey.”

“Eyyyyyyy,” Spike said, “Not cool. Not cool at all.”

“Spike?” Rarity said in a worried tone, “Are you feeling alright? You’re speaking like Arthur.”

“Maybe I’m just trying to be cool. Is that wrong?”

“Well Spike. There’s nothing wrong with being you. But being somepony else never seems to work out. I learned that when

Trenderhoof came to Ponyville.”

“Yeah well maybe this is me.”

“Odd how you didn’t act like this until Arthur came along.”

“This is me! Why just watch.”

Spike turned and walked outside with Rarity following.

“Ahem…” Spike yelled to the crowds of ponies, “Spike’s giving out free kisses to any mare who wants one.”

Silence.

“Didn’t you hear me?”

More silence.

“Spike,” Rarity began.

“No Rarity, I got this. Uh… HANDS!”

“I’m not falling for that one again,” Lyra said as she and Bon-Bon strolled past.

“Spike,” Rarity started.

Spike felt his claws sweat and his stomach churn.

“Uh I got this Rarity. I’ll be right back.”

Rarity shook her head as Spike dashed off to find the Fonz.

“FONZ!!” screamed Spike as he ran over to Fonzie.

“Yeah Shortstack?” said the Fonz, sitting at the diner eating a sandwich.

“I tried what you said and it didn’t work!”

“That’s understandable.”

“What? Why?”

“Well I’m the Fonz and you’re a… well a…”

“Nerd?” Spike said with an eyebrow raised.

“Yeah. So Rarity probably likes you for the fact that you’re you. And she likes me cause I’m me. Also, nopony can rock the Fonz like the Fonz.”

“So what do you suggest?”

“Be Spike. I’m sure that’s who she wants you to be.”

“Ok. If you’ll excuse me then, I’m going to go help Rarity.”

He sped off to Carousel Boutique, leaving Fonzie with a smirk on his muzzle, “Now the kid’s learnin’.”

“Rarity?” Spike said as he flung open the door to the Boutique.

“Spike,” Rarity said as she levitated the Fonz’s jacket into a cardboard box, “I didn’t get a chance to talk to you because you ran off so quick. I thought about it, and I figured out why you were acting like Arthur.”

“You did?” Spike asked, perspiration dripping off his face.

“Yes. You saw that I enjoyed Arthur’s company and so you thought that I didn’t like you because you weren’t like Arthur. But I like you for you Spike.”

“You do?”

“Yes,” Rarity said, “You’re my little Spikey-Wikey. You’re a wonderful friend Spike.”

“I am?”

“Yes you are,” Rarity said.

And with that, she leaned forward and gave Spike a peck on the cheek.

Spike blushed and started helping Rarity with her designs.

“The last time you were here I don’t think I showed you the collection of animals I have. Did I Potsie?” Fluttershy asked as the threesome walked into Fluttershy’s cottage.

Discord placed Fluttershy’s small suitcase on her couch.

“Thank you for carrying my bag Discord,” Fluttershy said, flashing Discord a sweet smile.

“Anything for a good friend like you Fluttershy,” Discord said, wiping his brow.

“Here,” said Fluttersy, offering a glass of lemonade to Discord.

“Thank you.”

Discord took the glass, drank it down in one gulp and handed the lemonade back to Fluttershy. She stared at the liquid in her hoof that was not contained by a glass and threw it into the garbage. It exploded softly in the trash can. A white mushroom cloud slowly wafted up to the ceiling.

“May I show you all my animal friends, Potsie?”

“Sure.”

“Well you met Angel Bunny,”

“Fluttershy,” Potsie interrupted, “Why didn’t you let Firedancer watch him like everypony else?”

“Because I don’t want to show favoritism among my pets. All the other animals were so upset last time I left Angel with Spike. They thought I loved Angel more. And I don’t. I love them all.”

Angel Bunny stuck out his tongue at a nearby Bluebird.

“This is Hummingway,” Fluttershy said as she nodded at a green hummingbird, “He was going to be in the choir but he came down with laryngitis last minute. How are you doing Hummingway?”

She passed him possibly the smallest bit of medicine and after some refusing, he swallowed it.

“Good boy,” Fluttershy said, “So I had to get Mr. Cardinal to stand in.”

A rabbit ran up to Fluttershy’s leg and nuzzled her.

“Hello Mrs. Cottontail. This is Mrs. Cottontail, Angel’s sister. She’s married to Mr. Cottontail and they have one hundred and twenty-two children.”

“One hundred and twenty-two kids?” Potsie asked in awe.

“Yes,” Fluttershy said, “Rabbits can have a lot more kids than us ponies… and umm, humans… I think at least.”

“Umm, Fluttershy,” Discord said, looking around, “Where’s Nonsense?”

“Nonsense?” Potsie asked, confused.

“Nonsense is Discord’s pet parrot,” Fluttershy said.

“I named him that because he only talks in nonsense!” Discord said.

“Sugarchips, Alienpopsiclefour!” squawked a parrot from across the room.

“NONSENSE!” Discord said as he ran over and hugged his pet.

“Windowseightstinks,” said the bird.

“See,” Fluttershy said, “he only talks in nonsense.”

“Playgroundbluejeans, spaghettitornadohonda.”

“And why do you like having a pet that makes no sense?” Potsie asked.

“Because he’s just like ME!” Discord said cuddling his parrot, “And just look at him. Isn’t he cute?”

“Magentaenterprisecake Spokgreenbutton. Megamaniageorgemoonchild.”

Potsie examined the bird. His eyes were crooked, one was hazel and the other green. His neck hung limp from one side. His feathers were green, purple and blue. One of his legs was shorter than the other. He wheezed like a chew toy as Discord squeezed him against his chest.

“Ok,” Potsie said, viewing the strange sight of a draconoquus hugging his pet.

“Thank you Fluttershy for watching Nonsense while I was busy with some chaos.”

“Well he’s no trouble to watch at all.”

“I appreciate the favor. I have to get Nonsense back to my place now, thanks again.”

He snapped his fingers and he and Nonsense boarded a flying carpet and flew out the window.

“Cute little bird,” Fluttershy said as she waved out the window.

“Yeah,” Potsie said, “Can you show me the rest of you animals now?”

“Sure thing,” Fluttershy said, stepping away from the window and walking out into her backyard with Potsie in tow.

“Ah-ah-ah-tschoo!!!”

Rarity sneezed in a very unlady-like manner.

“Ah-ah-ah-tschoo! Oh Pinkie Pie!” she yelled.

Ralph and Pinkie hid in the bushes a ways back from Rarity’s front door with a can of sneezing powder in Pinkie’s hoof. Rarity stared at them for a moment, and then burst out laughing. It was impossible to be angry with two such happy ponies.

“Come along Ralph,” Pinkie said, wiping her eyes from the laughter, “We have more pranks to pull. Come along Gummy.”

She and Ralph walked away, Ralph pulling a wagon with joke supplies and Gummy inside.

They trotted up to Twilight Sparkle’s castle and placed a box with some spitting snakes on the step. They knocked on the door and ran. Twilight opened the door and looked at the box for a second. She then levitated the box into her house. After a moment, Ralph and Pinkie heard the box open and Twilight scream.

“PINKIE!!!! RALPH!!!!!”

“That would be our cue to leave,” Pinkie said.

Pinkie and Ralph left the castle in a blur and ran over to Sugarcube Corner. Derpy walked out with her daily muffin in a paper bag.

“I know what to do,” Ralph said, “We can trip her. It will be a riot.”

“Nopey-dopey,” Pinkie said, shaking her poofy-maned head, “Trust me. The last thing you want to do is make Derpy drop her muffin. The last time something like that happened… well… it didn’t end well.”

Ralph nodded his head and he and Pinkie snuck up to the door and held a trip wire in front of the door. When Bulk Biceps came out with his own paper bag, he was sent flying… not by his choice. After he had let Ralph out of a headlock, Pinkie offered to buy him another muffin and Bulk calmed down. He even laughed about the prank himself.

“What can I get you?” asked Carrot Top at her carrot stand.

“Two dozen carrots please Carrot Top,” Fluttershy said, laying some bits on the table. Then, turning to Potsie, she said to him, “I have a lot to buy. If you would like to wait for me, you could just explore Ponyville.”

“Sure thing,” Potsie said, walking away from Fluttershy and Carrot Top.

He walked down the street observing all the ponies shopping. Not focused as he was, he didn’t see who he was about to bump into. He crashed into an unknown pony. A paper bag flew through the air and landed in the mud.

“I’m terribly sorry,” Potsie said.

He stood up and came face to face with an angry pony with two gold eyes that weren’t aligned.

“I really am sorry,” Potsie said, staring into the pony’s face.

The mare snorted and pawed the ground with a hoof.

“Derpy,” Fluttershy said, stepping in between them, “I’m very sorry and I’ll pay for the muffin. You can get the same kind of muffin at Sugarcube Corner.”

“Ok,” Derpy said, taking the money from Fluttershy and trotting back to Sugarcube Corner.

“Who was that?” asked Potsie, watching the pony leave.

“Derpy,” said Fluttershy, “She has a small obsession with muffins.”

“Yeah, small.”

“I’m done with clearing the skies,” Rainbow Dash said as she flew to a stop above Fonzie’s head, “You wanna race?”

“Why would I race you?” The Fonz asked with a smirk.

“To prove you’re as awesome as me!”

“Didn’t I prove that with my sonic coolboom?”

“Mildly. But I think a race is in order. We race to Cloudsdale and back, winner takes all. So what do you say Fonzie? You chicken?”

“Eyyyy, no uh… pony calls the Fonz a chicken.”

“So you game?”

“Tell you what. I’ll give you a head start.”

“Alright. Readysetgo!”

Rainbow Dash disappeared in a flurry of colors. Fonzie smirked and dashed after her.

Several minutes later, Rainbow Dash sped back into Ponyville, finishing the race.

“Beat him,” she said, flipping her mane in pride.

Then she turned around to find Fonzie sitting at a table, waiting for her.

“But… how… huh?” Rainbow Dash asked, her brain dissolving.

“You are asking the Fonz to explain himself?” Fonzie asked with a smirk, “Isn’t that an oxymoron?”

“Who are you calling a moron?” Rainbow shot.

“Stay. Out. Of. My. WAY!” yelled a familiar griffon to the scared Fluttershy.

“I’m sorry,” Fluttershy said.

She then turned on her hooves and ran out of the market.

“What are you looking at?” Gilda screamed to Potsie, who glared at her.

“G,” Rainbow Dash said from the table where she and Fonzie were, “What are YOU doing here?”

“I came back to see if your cool had returned. But I can see it hasn’t. That is if you’re still hanging out with that loser Pinkie Pie and that wimpy Pegasus that just ran off. Who’s this new lamo you’ve got Dash?” Gilda said, motioning to the Fonz.

“Eyyyyy,” he said.

“Didn’t you hear what happened at the party in Canterlot? Fonzie here beat up Prince Blueblood. That’s what I call cool.”

“I’ve seen Blueblood. A squirrel could knock him out. “

“Eyyyyy, do you wanna find out how hard I CAN punch?”

“Ha, you’re all bluff no bluster. Just like Dash.”

“Eyyyy, NOT cool.”

Fonzie stared at Gilda with a look of hatred in his eyes.

“G, have you forgotten what happened the last time you got too mad at somepony?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Yeah, and that’s why I’m here. To get revenge on Pinkie Pie. Where is she?”

“Are you looking for me?” Pinkie Pie asked as she popped her head out of a potted plant.

“There you are Stinky Pie. I came back for a rematch!”

“Why? We didn’t do a sport or anything like that!”

“Arrgghh. You’re just as dorky as I remember! Well I’m going to get you for last time Stinky Pie!”

“You’re not very imaginative with nicknames, are you Gilda?

Gilda grabbed Pinkie Pie and hoisted her up by the neck.

“Hee hee, stop. That tickles!”

“Shut your mouth!”

“Aww Gilda, you’ve just gotta learn to love and tolerate.”

“What? Listen I’m not here to have a chat with you. I mean business!”

“Gilda,” Pinkie said, swaying gently from the griffon’s grasp.

“BE QUIET, STUPID!!!!!!” Gilda yelled.

“G,” Rainbow Dash said, drawing the griffon’s attention away from the pink mare in her clutches, “You’re not really acting cool. You know that? You’re really acting like you’re the lame pony, or griffon, not Pinkie.”

“Yeah well you’re a flake who hangs out with ponies who are so beneath you!”

“Aww, Gilda,” said Pinkie from the ground, “That’s not what being friends is all about.”

“How did you get there?” Gilda asked, dumbstruck.

“Nopony knows,” Rainbow Dash said, sensing Pinkie’s plan.

“Oh somepony knows,” Pinkie said from the other side of Gilda.

“What?” Gilda said, shocked, turning around.

“What what?” Pinkie answered, smiling, from the other side.

Gilda started backing away is fear.

“You haven’t seen the last of me Stinky Pie. I’ll be back!” Gilda yelled as she tore out of Ponyville.

“Wow,” Pinkie said, “She must like Arnold a lot!”

With that Pinkie and Ralph happily skipped off with Gummy and the wagon in tow.

“She makes no sense sometimes you know that?” Rainbow said to Fonzie as they observed them hop off.

“Eyy,” Fonzie said with a smirk, “I’m getting the feeling Pinkie is like the Fonz. Some things she does just ain’t explainable.”

“Listen to us Cakes,” Flam said, “We have the machine that will turn your little playpen into a thriving business.”

“Trust us,” Flim continued, “The Brisk, Brilliant and Breathtaking Bread Baker 9000 will produce cakes faster than you can bat an eyelash.”

“Well, we didn’t really plan to expand anytime soon,” Mr. Cake said as he and his wife eyed the enormous contraption, “And if we were to buy your machine, we would need to buy a whole new building to put it in.”

“But, if I may have a moment my good Sir,” Flam persuaded, “This bad boy will pay for itself. You’ll be able to pump out thirty cakes a minute,”

“Or one-hundred muffins in sixty seconds,” Flim said.

“ONE-HUNDRED?!?! Derpy said through the window, drooling.

“I’m afraid that we just can’t afford that today,” Mrs. Cake said, ushering the brothers to the door, “But, uh, thanks for dropping by.”

“But my dear,” Flim continued, “We are willing to give it to you absolutely free.”

“FREE?!?!” Mr. and Mrs. Cake said in unison and shock.

“Why of course,” Flam said, “We can gain the value of the machine in other ways.”

“I was thinking that we receive seventy percent of the total earning?” Flim said.

“And we’ll even throw in the magic to power it,” Flam said, smiling.

“Umm, not today,” Mr. Cake said, “Thanks for the visit though. Would you like a muffin to go?”

“Well,” Flam said, thinking out loud, “If you refuse to work with us, then we will just have to be competitors. Flim and Flam’s delectable goodies, how do you like the title brother?”

“It has a nice ring to it brother. Good day Cakes. We have a business to set up.”

The brothers turned and left Sugarcube Corner.

“What will we do Honey?” Mr. Cake said looking at his wife

“I don’t know. But Flim and Flam will put us out of business for sure!”

“Maybe we should have just bought their silly little machine and have been done with it. You remember what happened with the
Apple Family when they came to town the first time, don’t you?”

“Here sweetie, have a lemon drop. Maybe that will make you feel a little better.”

Mr. Cake popped the sweet into his mouth. His eyes bulged and a tongue of fire shot from his mouth.

“What ‘wheeze’ is in those lemon drops Bon-Bon?”

“I didn’t make those,” Bon-Bon said, sticking her head through the kitchen door, “I’ve been too busy making a batch of caramels.”

A chorus of laughter came from behind the counter. The Cakes and Bon-Bon walked over and found Pinkie and Ralph collapsing in a fit of giggles. Gummy sat idly by staring at his crazy owner.

“PEPPER in the lemon drops.” Pinkie said through happy tears, “That one always gets them!” Then, noticing the Cakes distress she asked, “Hey, what’s the matter? Wasn’t it funny? ‘Gasp!’ Did I go too far?”

“I’m sorry Pinkie,” Mrs. Cake said, “But were just aren’t in a jovial mood today. The Flim-Flam brothers just came to offer us a deal. You didn’t hear?”

“Aww no. Ralph and I just snuck in through the back door.”

“We don’t have a back door, Pinkie,” Mr. Cake said.

“How do you know that?” Pinkie said with an air of mystery about her.

“Well anyway,” Mrs. Cake went on, “They tried to sell us the bingo, bango, bongo and some such of making baked goods. We refused and now they are going to open up their own bakery. They’ll put us out of business!”

“That’s awful!” Bon-Bon said.

“I’ll say,” Pinkie said.

“I know,” Mrs. Cake said, “We’ll lose everything!”

“No not that!” Pinkie said, “I meant it’s awful that you can’t smile and be happy. Well it’s the job of Pinkie Pie to make sure that ALL my friends smile no matter what! I’ll get right on it!”

She sped out of the bakery with Ralph right on her heels. Gummy held a tight grip of Pinkie’s tail as usual.

“We’re doomed,” Bon-Bon said as she and the Cakes watched their only hope fade into the distance.

“Hi Pinkie,” Rainbow Dash said when Pinkie sped over to her friends in a pink blur, “Wanna see Fonzie and me race, again?”

“No time Rainbow, I need Fonzie,” Pinkie said, “It’s the Cakes. The Flim-Flam brothers are opening a shop and they’ll put the Cakes out of business! We gotta help them!”

“Not again!” Rainbow said, rolling her eyes.

“Who are the Cakes? Who are the Flim-Flam brothers?” Fonzie asked.

“And that’s why we need the Fonz!” Pinkie said, hopping up and down in a frantic manner.

“Eyyyyyy!” Fonzie yelled, “Cool it! Now, I have a few questions, may I ask them?”

“Okie Dokie Lokie,” Pinkie said, quitting her hopping midair, “How may I help?”

“First you could return to the ground,” the Fonz said, staring at her, hovering above him.

“Okie Dokie Lokie,” Pinkie said, falling back to the ground.

“Who are the Flim-Flam brothers? And who are the Cakes?”

“The Cakes are a couple who own the bakery, Sugarcube Corner,” Pinkie said.

“And the Flim-Flam brothers are twins who show up in Ponyville every so often to cause some trouble,” Rainbow Dash finished.

“Ok,” said the Fonz, “Now, shall we go?”

Fonzie, Pinkie and Rainbow Dash walked, flew and skipped down the street of Ponyville towards Sugarcube Corner.

“Come one, come all,” Flim yelled to the multitude of ponies in the square, “To the brand new Flim and Flam’s delectable goodies. Free samples for everypony!”

A torrent of ponies came tearing into Flim and Flam’s new store.

“Are these those Flim-Flam whatever-you-call-‘em?” The Fonz said as he, Pinkie and Rainbow approached.

“Yeppie-Deppie” Pinkie said, hopping along happily.

“Eyyyyy, you guys,” said the Fonz, marching right up to the Flim-Flam brothers, “Are you makin’ trouble with the Cakes?”

“My dear sir,” Flim said, “It is perfectly legal for us to open up a sweet shop.”

“It promotes competition,” Flam said, smiling.

“And that can only help Ponyville’s economy,” Flim finished.

“I don’t care nothing about economy. I’m thinking you should be caring about my fists, or… hooves.”

Flim and Flam sized Fonzie up.

“You know brother,” Flim said, “I was thinking that the market for our talents would be more diverse somewhere else.”

“I completely agree brother,” Flam concurred, “Let’s go.”

They disappeared in a puff of smoke.

“They were getting on my nerves,” said Fonzie, glaring down the road at the fading images.

“FONZIE PARTY!” screamed Pinkie out of nowhere.

Fonz found himself once again hoisted up into the air.

Chapter 7

Chapter 7: We’ve Got Hearts As Strong As Fonzie’s

After the throng of ponies had dispersed, Fonzie sat down with Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie.

“I’m going to get another cake,” Pinkie said, trotting off to Sugarcube Corner.

“I’ll come,” said Rainbow, following behind, “I could use a bluegrass smoothie.”

“Hello, Mr. Fonzie!” said Sweetie Bell as the Cutie Mark Crusaders came up behind Fonzie.

“Eyyyyy,” Fonzie said, starting in shock, “What do you want kiddos?”

“Well,” Apple Bloom said, kicking her hoof.

“We were sorta…” Sweetie Bell tried.

“We were hoping to talk to you,” Scootaloo finished, not as shy as her friends.

“Sure thing,” Fonzie said, “About what?”

“Well,” Scootaloo said, “We were hoping you had ideas about how to get a cutie mark. You see, we’re the Cutie Mark Crusaders and we work together to get our cutie marks and discover who we are. But we were thinking you could give us some pointers, since your cutie mark is so…”

“Cool?” Fonzie offered.

“Yeah,” Scootaloo said, “And after that sonic coolboom you did, well, you’re obviously not just any regular pony.”

“So will you help us?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Well,” Fonzie began.

“PLEASE!!!” The three said, giving Fonzie their most imploring faces.

“I’ll do what I can.”

“YEAH!!!!”

“But may I ask,” Fonzie said, looking at the ecstatic fillies, “What’s the big deal with these cutie marks?”

“Well they tell ya’ what yer callin’ is,” Apple Bloom explained.

“Yeah,” Sweetie Bell squeaked, “Like how my sister’s is diamonds. That means that she is meant to design clothes.”

“Yeah,” Fonzie said, “How did she arrive at that? What connects diamonds to dresses?”

“Well,” Sweetie Bell said, cocking her head to the side in thought, “I guess… Well… That she likes bedazzling things? Like dresses?”

“Well,” Fonzie said, rolling his eyes, “Why do you want them so bad?”

“Well,” Apple Bloom said, “Everypony in our class has theirs. And we get teased for being blankflanks.”

“So?” Fonzie asked, “I’m gonna tell you something, but if you ever tell anybo-pony else, I’ll deny it. I wasn’t always THIS COOL. I used to be a bit of a nerd myself.”

“Well how old were you when you finally discovered what you were meant to be?” Scootaloo asked with baited breath.

“Twelve,” said the Fonz, “That was when I first saw a bike. But I had to wait till I was sixteen to ride one.”

“You were sixteen?” Apple Bloom asked, “Why, were only eight.”

“Woah,” Fonzie said, holding a hoof up, “if I’d become what I’d wanted to be back then, I’d be a doctor! Can you imagine me as a doctor? How wrong would that be?”

“I don’t see anything wrong with doctors,” a brown pony said as he strolled past. He had a gray mare with a blond mane following.

“And who would that be?” Fonzie asked.

“Oh, that’s the stallion who we thought was too splashy for Ms. Cheerilee,” Sweetie Bell said, eyeing the two ponies strolled off down the street, “She seems to like him though.”

“Anyway,” the Fonz continued, “You need to wait for these things to come. I would have made one lousy doctor, believe me.”

“That’s what everypony else says,” Apple Bloom whined, “But we want them NOW!!!!!”

“Got patience?” said the Fonz, staring at Apple Bloom with one raised eyebrow.

“PLEASE!!!!” implored the fillies.

“Ok,” said the Fonz, “So, what you need to do to get a cutie mark (I can’t believe I just said that) is to find out what you really like. What do you really like doin?”

“I really like singing,” Sweetie Bell said.

“And I’m really good at fixin’ things,” Apple Bloom said.

“And I rock my scooter like nopony else,” said Scootaloo, “even Rainbow Dash once said to me ‘Nice moves kid’.”

“Well there you go,” said the Fonz, “Now go and do those things for the rest of the day,”

“Got it,” said the friends.

They gave the Fonz a stiff salute and disappeared in a white, yellow and orange blur.

“Do you think that will actually get them their cutie marks?” Rainbow Dash said from overhead where she had observed the last half of the conversation.

“No,” Fonzie said, smirking, “But they’ll have a great day.”

“I think you’d be a great doctor,” said Pinkie, trotting over with a cake on her back.

“How’d you hear dat?” Fonzie asked, bewildered.

“You’ll never know,” Pinkie said, waving her hooves in the air.

“I told her,” said the same brown stallion from before. He was accompanied by the same gray mare, “We went into Sugarcube Corner to get some muffins and butter and happened to mention it to her.”

“I always said,” Fonzie said, watching the couple leave, “Never trust a man with an English accent.”

“What’s a man?” Rainbow asked.

“Never mind.”

“FONZIE!!!!!!!” yelled Sweetie Bell as she ran up to Fonzie at the end of the day, “I didn’t get my cutie mark!”

“You just gotta keep trying,” Fonzie said, “Why don’t we wait for your half-pint friends?”

“You aren’t waiting for me,” Scootaloo said, speeding over on her scooter.

“Sorry I’m late,” Apple Bloom said, “I have something I want to show you.”

“Me first,” Scootaloo said, “I went to the roller derby. I won first place on my scooter. Even Rainbow Dash said, ‘Nice job Pipsqueak’. Can you believe it?”

“I actually think she was talking to me,” said a small earth pony, dragging a second place trophy, “After all, I did win second place.”

“Yeah right,” Scootaloo said, “She totally meant me!”

“Take that back!”

“No way!”

Scootaloo jumped onto Pipsqueak and they began fighting.

Rainbow Dash landed from where she had been eavesdropping.

“I actually was talking to him,” Rainbow Dash said, pulling apart the two foals.

“What?” Scootaloo cried, tears streaming off of her muzzle.

“I didn’t think that I would need to tell you that your awesome,” Rainbow said rolling her eyes, “I thought you were like me, you know you're awesome.”

“I… am?” Scootaloo asked, hovering an inch off the ground for a second.

“Of course,” Rainbow dash said, “You’re like my adopted little sister.”

“I am?!?!” Scootaloo asked with eyes the size of dinner plates.

“Yeah,” Rainbow said, rubbing Scootaloo’s head, “And when you’re not hoof-fighting your friends, you’re one cool little filly.”

“I AM!?!?!?!?!?!” Scootaloo squeaked.

“Sure,” Rainbow said, flying off.

“Did you hear that?” Scootaloo exclaimed, turning around to her friends.

“Sweet,” said Sweetie Bell, “Hey Apple Bloom, do you want to tell us how your day went next?”

“Sure,” Apple Bloom said, “Well I spent the day with Rarity helpin’ her bejewel her duds. She said my job was uhhh… bone. I wonder what that was about. Maybe she was talkin’ ‘bout Wynona.”

“Rarity does like speaking in French,” Sweetie Bell said.

“Yeah,” Apple Bloom said, “She said my job was mani-fee-kee.”

“Manifique?” Sweetie Bell offered.

“Yeah that was it. How did yer day go Sweetie Bell?”

“I’m so glad you asked,” Sweetie Bell said, “I rewrote our song that we did at the talent show. I thought we could have another go, maybe this time I could dance, Apple Bloom could sing and Scootaloo could decorate.”

“Or maybe I could dance, you could sing and Apple Bloom could decorate,” Scootaloo offered.

“Well I just wanted to share some of the lyrics with you guys,” Sweetie Bell said, “You know how Scootaloo had written, ‘with our marks will rock Equestria, we use our stomachs to digestia’?”

“Don’t remind me,” Scootaloo said, placing her head between her hooves.

“Well I rewrote it to, ‘with our marks will rock Equestria, we’re more popular than Celestia’! What do you think?”

“I don’t get it,” Apple Bloom said, cocking her head to one side.

“It’s a musical history reference,” Sweetie Bell said, “Haven’t you ever heard of the Bugs?”

“No,” Apple Bloom said.

“Oh I have,” Scootaloo said, “And their hit song…”

“Here comes Celestia, Shoo be doo be…” Scootaloo and Sweetie Bell sang.

“Alright,” Apple Bloom said, “Well now that we’ve got a plan, I’ll get some paint an’ decoratin’ odds and ends.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Scootaloo said, “Meanwhile, I’ve got to get to work on some wicked awesome dance moves.”

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS PREFORMERS!!!!! YAY!!!!” the trio yelled at the top of their lungs.

They disappeared in a cloud of dust.

“THANKS MR. FONZIE!!!!” they hollered as they vanished.

Fonzie rolled his eyes.

“I’m going to go look for Discord,” Twilight said to Richie, “Are you okay now?”

“I’m fine,” Richie said, “But how did Pinkie do tha-“

“Don’t question Pinkie,” Twilight said, “It doesn’t end well… ever. Trust me, I know.”

Richie wondered why Twilight was rubbing her head as if it hurt.

“You can stay here while I go look for Discord,” Twilight said, “Where’s Spike by the way?”

“I’m here Twilight,” Spike said as he entered the castle, sweating, “Sorry I was gone for so long. I was helping Rarity with her designs and then I had to run Fonzie’s jacket over to him and then-“

“It’s fine Spike,” Twilight said, “If you need to go back and help Rarity more that’s fine. Owlicious will take care of Richie while I’m gone.”

“Thanks for understanding Twilight,” Spike said, dashing out the door.

Twilight smiled and rolled her eyes.

“Well I’m going to find Discord, if you need anything, ask Owlicious.”

Twilight Sparkle left her castle ad headed for Fluttershy’s cabin.

“Hello Princess Twilight,” Carrot Top said as she passed her stall of carrots, “Would you like a carrot? They’re homegrown.”

“Thanks,” Twilight said as Carrot Top passed her a carrot, “But you know you don’t need to call me Princess Twilight. I’ve always been Twilight and I always will be Twilight.”

“Okay,” Carrot Top said, “By the way, have you seen the prince?”

“Good question,” said a familiar green mare, sticking her muzzle into Twilight’s face, “And just what are YOU trying to hide, huh Twilight? Are you a SPY? Did Princess Celestia tell you to spy on me? WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT HANDS?!?!”

“Lyra,” Twilight said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yeah right,” Lyra mumbled as she turned around, “Most likely, Humans HAVE been in Equestria and Princess Celestia just wiped our minds about it.”

Twilight stared at Lyra wondering how she had come up with the correct answer.

“But you won’t be hiding for long Princess, I’ve got two new assistants to help me uncover this government scandal.”

“Lyra,” Twilight said, “How could you have two assistants? For them to be willing to help you, they’d have to be crazier then you. And there is nopony in Equestria as crazy as you.”

“Hey Twilight,” said Derpy as she and the Doctor walked up to Lyra. They each had notebooks on their saddlebags, “We’re going to be Lyra’s assistants.”

“Brilliant isn’t it?” said the Doctor, “Derpy was delivering Lyra’s mail when she asked and well… I thought how fun it would be to be somepony (I’m sorry that one still gets me every time) else’s assistant for a change. Doesn’t that sound smashing?”

“I stand corrected,” Twilight said, rolling her eyes.

“So be warned,” Lyra said, backing away, “Someday very soon I will find out everything about humans and… hands.”

“Oh is that all you care about?” asked the Doctor, “Why I could tell you all about humans.”

“You could?” Lyra said, staring at the brown pony in shock.

“Why yes,” said the Doctor, “How would you like to meet some?”

“I COULD?” Lyra asked in shock.

“Why of course,” said the Doctor, “How about it Derpy? Are you ready for another adventure through time and space?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be Doctor,” Derpy said.

The threesome trotted away, talking about humans.

“Lyra gets weirder every day,” Carrot Top said, watching them go.

“Yeah,” Twilight said, “And know she’s dragging other ponies into her delusions.”

Twilight headed off to Fluttershy’s cottage.

“Fluttershy?” Twilight said, opening the cottage door, “Are you in here?”

“Right over here Twilight,” Fluttershy said, “Would you like a glass of lemonade? Angel Bunny and I just made a fresh batch.”

“No thanks,” Twilight said, looking at Angel, who looked sinisterly back, “Not that it doesn’t sound… delicious. I’m actually looking for Discord. Have you seen him?”

“Oh he and Nonsense left a while ago,” Fluttershy said.

“Nonsense?”

“His parrot,” Fluttershy said, “Don’t you remember?”

“Oh yes,” Twilight said, “But why did he leave? We need him to send Fonzie and his friends back to their world.”

“Oh he told me that he didn’t think you liked him that much and that he should give you some space. So he left. He won’t be back for a while. Why?” asked Fluttershy.

Twilight’s mouth dropped open and she stared at Fluttershy in shock, “Has he forgotten Fonzie and his friends?! Figures! When you need him he’s nowhere to be found when you don’t need him he won’t leave you alone. Argghh!”

“Where are you going?” asked Fluttershy as Twilight walked out of Fluttershy’s cottage in a huff.

“To find somepony who actually is around when you need them!” yelled Twilight.

Chapter 8

Chapter 8: We’re A Long Way From Equestria…

Twilight quickly visited the princesses to see if they could help her but discovered that while they technically had the power to send beings to other worlds neither of them was proficient at inter-universal travel.

After seeing the princesses Twilight went back to her castle to think about how she could possibly send Fonzie and his friends back to their universe. She considered trying to find Discord but then decided against it and at last settled upon trying to find Pinkie and her cupcakes.

As Twilight headed towards Sugarcube Corner she saw Lyra and her two “assistants” talking in the park while the grey Pegasus ate a bag of muffins and the brown stallion consumed what looked like a pat of butter.

Shaking her head in dismay Twilight walked up Ponyville Manestreet and was just about to open the door to Sugarcube Corner when it flew open and she was bowled over by a pink blur.

“Oh, sorry Twilight,” said Pinkie, hopping in place as though she was nervous for some reason.

“It’s o.k.” said Twilight, shaking her head as she got up, “I was actually looking for you anyway.”

“You were?” Asked Pinkie, looking confused and still very worried, “Honestly Twilight I’d love to help you but I’m very busy right now!”

“It’s about those cupcakes of yours,” said Twilight but was cut off by Pinkie Pie grabbing her and breaking into uncontrollable tears.

“It wasn’t my fault!” She cried through her double mini-Niagara falls, “Pinkie Promise, I didn’t mean for it to happen. It was an accident!”

“What was an accident?” Asked Twilight, worriedly, “I just wanted to know if you had any leftover since Discord left and can’t send Fonzie home.”

Pinkie stopped crying, looked directly at Twilight was a very serious look (especially for Pinkie) and said, “Twilight, I need a Doctor.”

Twilight frowned and said, “Why do you feel sick?”

“No Twilight, not that kind of doctor,” said Pinkie, shaking her head, “The Doctor. Where is Derpy?”

“Last I saw her she, Lyra and that brown stallion were at the park eating and talking about humans. Why?”

“Well Twilight,” said Pinkie, looking rather sheepish, “I kind of got hungry and ate most of the cupcakes.”

“What?!” said Twilight.

“But I saved one in case of cupcake emergencies. But later when I came back to the kitchen I found Pound and Pumkin Cake playing with it.”

“Oh no,” said Twilight, feeling her blood go cold.

“Well they kind of dropped it… It kind of went off… and they kind of got sucked through the portal before I could stop them…”
With each word Twilight could see Pinkie practically shrinking until Twilight was positive she was half her normal size.

Then she popped back to her normal size and said, “And that’s why I need the doctor. He’s the only one who can help me right now.”

With that Pinkie went flying off to find the Doctor.

Twilight looked after her and thought over what she had just said. Pound and Pumpkin are trapped in an alternate universe, Discord’s missing, and Pinkie is trying to get help out of Lyra and her “assistants”… Maybe I shouldn’t tell Mr. and Mrs. Cake just yet… In fact maybe I should get Pinkie some help.

At first she thought about Rainbow Dash, since she might be the most helpful in a crisis. But when she looked around she couldn’t see her. Instead she saw Fonzie trotting by and decided he might be the next best thing.

Grabbing Fonzie she tried explain everything in 5 seconds. She failed miserably but Fonzie understood that Pound and Pumpkin were in trouble along with Pinkie and said he would help.

Fonzie galloped off to find Pinkie and Twilight felt relieved somehow.

As Fonzie galloped through town looking for Pinkie, Potsie and Richie saw him and asked what the trouble was. When Fonzie told them what he knew they said that they would help.

When they got to the park they couldn’t find where Lyra and her “assistants” had been and Pinkie was nowhere to be found. After a few minutes of searching they were about to give up when they heard a “psst” from some nearby bushes.

They turned to look and saw Ralph’s head sticking out of the bush, “Over here guys,” he said and his head retracted.

They ran over to the bushes to find Ralph, Pinkie, Lyra and the rest standing in front of a large Blue Police Public Call Box as if waiting for something or someone.

“Eeyyyy, what’s going on here?” asked Fonzie, looking at the ponies, “I thought we were supposed to be savin’ those kids not sitting around watching the grass grow.”

“Shhh,” said Pinkie, putting a hoof to her mouth, “We’re letting the Doctor fix a broken green flangy thingy on the console in there.”

“Pinkie I’m all for British people, although their taste in food could be improved,” said the Fonz, “But I don’t think that a Police Officer will be able to help us with-”

The Fonz was interrupted by the door to the box opening and the brown stallion poking his head out, “All right I think she’s ready to travel. Oh what’s this?”

“We’re here to help save the Cakes’ kids,” said Richie.

“Well then climb aboard. I’m more used to saving the universe but where would we all be without the little children-”

“Yeah, yeah. Listen mister-” started Fonzie.

“Doctor,” said the grey mare.

“Doctor whatever. I think we’re a little far from home to be calling a Bobby.”

“Oh, you’d be surprised,” said the brown stallion with a secretive grin, “Now everypony ‘snicker’ let’s go.”

He stepped back into the blue box and first Derpy then Pinkie then Lyra (with eyes the size of soccer balls) got into the box.

“What is this,” said the Fonz, blinking, “A British clown car.”

Richie opened the door, looked in, and turned to his friends with a shocked look on his face, “Guys, you’ve got to see this.”

They all stepped through the door and stood in awe at what they beheld.

“This is my favorite part,” said the Doctor, watching them expectantly.

“Woww…” said Richie and Ralph together.

“O.k. on the upside it’s bigger than I expected,” said Fonzie, “I’m mildly impressed.”

“Where did the walls go?” Said Potsie who was looking over the railing of the catwalk to where the walls of the box should have been.

“Welcome to the TARDIS,” said the Doctor, standing up on his hind hoofs for a second before falling back onto all fours, “Now let’s go save some children.”

The TARDIS materialized in the middle of a forest with a scraping sound and a soft bump.

“There what did I tell you,” said the Doctor, stepping out into the mottled sunshine which petered down through the foliage.

“WATCH OUT!” yelled Pinkie, flying out the door and sending the Doctor flying.

There was the sound of someone landing heavily on the leaves behind them with a whooshing outlet of breath and a guttural grunt.

The Doctor rolled over to see what looked like a giant rat in tattered old clothing trying to open the TARDIS door yelling something about, “His loot.”

The door opened and the rat came snout to muzzle with the Fonz.

Backing up, the rat brandished what looked like an old needle and screamed, “Stand back this is my booty. Poskra’s-”

He was cut off as Fonzie brought his hoof down on top of the rat’s scull and flattened him.

The Fonzie looked at his right hoof and grinned, “Ha, I could get used to hooves… if I ever wanted to go inta prize fightin’.”

Ralph looked out from behind the Fonz and said, “Is it safe now?”

“The coast is clear,” said Pinkie, helping the Doctor up.

“Do you know where we are?” asked Derpy, letting both eyes wander around the clearing where the TARDIS rested.

The Doctor snorted indignantly and said, “Of course I do Derpy, I’m the Doctor for goodness sakes.”

Through the trees came the soft sound of a church-bell slowly clanging mid-day.

“And even if I didn’t,” said the Doctor, raising a hoof, “We could always follow that bell and see where it leads us.”

Derpy rolled eyes and smiled, “O.K. Doctor.”

“What about him?” said Lyra pointing to where the big rat had been lying.

Their gazes moved from the empty patch of ground to a nearby tree where Pinkie was just putting the finishing touches on the big red bow. Pinkie had somehow managed to gift-wrap the rat to a tree, complete with a bow and card attached.

Pinkie stuffed the leftover length of ribbon into her hair and said, giggling, “That’s a wrap.”

“Still,” said Lyra looking around carefully, “Who knows how many more of those things there might be around here? Maybe I should stay here with the TARDIS to make sure it’s safe.”

“But then you’d miss the big adventure we’re going to have,” said the Doctor, “The TARDIS is perfectly safe, the old girl’s a lot tougher than she looks. And besides we might meet some humans-”

“Let’s go!” said Lyra, dashing off towards the sound of the bell.

“You really think we’re going to meet some humans?” asked the Fonzie when Lyra was out of range, “What am I saying?”

“No,” said the Doctor, quietly, “I know where we are and there isn’t a human in a thousand miles. But I want to make sure she doesn’t mess with the TARDIS, it would look pretty bad for me if I rescued the Cakes’ children and couldn’t take them home.”

After walking for a while Richie began to get a little nervous, “Hey guys,” he said, “Have you noticed that there aren’t any animals around like rabbits or birds?”

“It does seem a bit odd doesn’t it?” said the Doctor, “Well like I always say when you find something odd poke it with a mysterious stick.”

“How do you poke a lack of animals with a stick?” asked Ralph.

“Very carefully?” asked Pinkie and then promptly cracked up.

“I think what the Doctor means,” said Derpy cutting in, “Is that we should pay attention and see if we can answer that question by looking around.”

“Brilliant as always Derpy,” said the Doctor.

After a few more minutes of following the sound of bells, the peaceful ringing stopped.

“Oh no,” said Ralph, “The bells stopped. That means we’ll never find the Cake children and we’ll never find the TARTAR SAUCE and we’ll never get back HOME! WE’LL BE STUCK HERE FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’LL NEVER SEE MY FAMILY AGAIN!!!”

“You know,” Richie said with his hooves over his ears, “With all the noise you’re making, I can’t expect them to be very upset. Their home will finally be quiet.”

Ralph started bawling louder.

“I’m sorry Mom and Dad. If I ever get home, I’ll be a better son, I promise!!”

Luckily for the group, Fonzie clocked Ralph, bringing him back from his hysteria.

“Thanks Fonz.”

“He does raise a point though,” Richie said, “How are we going to get where we’re going if the bells stopped? And how are we even sure the Cake children are there?”

“My dear ponies,” said the Doctor, “Mother Nature is a glorious thing. Did you know you can calculate your position based on the placement of the sun? If you’d pay attention like I did, you would have notice that the sun went across the sky towards the right of us. Knowing that tells you we are approaching dusk in a few hours. Now since in this world, the sun rises in the east and sets in the west that means the west is to our right. Meaning we have been heading north this whole time. That means the TARDIS, (I mean, really it’s not that hard to remember. Tartar sauce indeed) is south and if we keep heading north we should find where we’re going soon enough.”

“Brilliant thinking Doctor,” Derpy said, hugging her friend.

“Yes, well… Thank you… hmmmpp… Derpy… You can let go of me now. Seriously though Derpy, I … uh… Can’t BREATHE!”

“Oops, sorry.”

Richie raised a hoof.

“I already know what you’re going to say my young friend. We can’t be sure the Cake children are at our destination. But if they aren’t, we can request some assistance in searching for them. I mean, who wouldn’t help look for two innocent foals?”

“What if they aren’t friendly?” Richie asked, one eyebrow raised.

“Simple,” said the Doctor, smiling, “run.”

“Okie-dokie-lokie,” said Pinkie, swiftly disappearing into the thick underbrush at a gallop.

“Hold your horses-” the Doctor began. He then cut himself off as he realized who he was talking to and that she was long gone, “Quick now. After her, before she hurts herself.”

WHUMMP!

“Too late,” muttered Fonzie.

They emerged from the bushes to see Pinkie sitting on her rump with some small birds looping around her puffy mane.

Shaking her head she stood up and gesturing with one hoof she yelled indignantly, “Hey! Who put this big Red Wall here?!”

Chapter 9

Chapter 9: There and Back Again

Before them stood a tall red-stoned wall which ran in both directions to make up what looked like a small castle.

“Well why don’t we walk around the building until we find a door and inquire inside about the inconvenience of installing this wall right in front of your fast paced face?” said the Doctor, smirking, “As well as inquiring about the Cake twins.”

The others agreed and started making their way around the right side of the red-stoned building.

As they rounded a corner they spotted what looked like a giant badger in a robe sitting on a rock by a big wooden door in the building’s wall, staring away from them into the woods.

As they approached quietly the large beast turned its head to reveal two sightless eyes, which everypony could have sworn were looking right at them. The badger chuckled good-naturedly and said in an old, world-weary voice, “Hello Doctor. I was wondering when we would meet again.”

“Always a pleasure Cregga,” said the Doctor, smiling, “Love to stay and chat awhile but I’m on a mission. My compatriots and I are looking for some lost young ones. Don’t suppose you’ve seen them?”

“A boy and girl. Both rambunctious little rogues?” said the old badger, grinning as she gestured towards the big stone building, “They’re inside. Boorab’s taken them on a quick tour of the pantry and then though the orchards till we thought you would arrive.”

“And is this Boorab good with children?” Asked the Doctor, raising an eyebrow.

Cregga chuckled and said, “He loves the little rascals… Ah, here he comes now.”

With that said the rest of the group could hear what sounded like a miniature battle coming slowly towards the door in the wall.

“Cripes- Let go off me ear… I say, a Baggscut tail is not ah chew toy… Remove y’mouth from me’foot, wot wot!”

The door opened to reveal a large hare wearing a faded harlequin outfit hopping on one foot as Pound sat happily on his head playing with the two long ears and Pumpkin sucked away at the hare’s other foot.

“I say,” stated the hare somewhat angrily, “I don’t s’pose you lot are ‘ere to take these two troublemakers off our paws, eh? They’ve practically eat’n us out of house’n’abbey… An’ this one won’t let go of me’bleedin’ paw.”

Derpy and Lyra pulled the Cake twins off the poor hare and put them on their backs where the two foals yawned and settled down to a quick nap.

“Now they’re tired,” said the hare throwing his paws up in the air with exasperation, “Wot about when they were halfway through that raspberry’n’meadow-cream cake, or chuckin’ apples at me poor handsome head? I give up, wot!”

“Thank you for taking such good care of them them Mr. Bookbag,” said Pinkie, smiling and offering him a large cupcake.

“Me’name isn’t-” started Boorab, but then he took a bite of the confection.

“Bookbag at yer’service madam,” he finished, bowing low.

Cregga chuckled and turned to look at Lyra who was inspecting the old badger’s claws.

“They’re not hands but at least there’s an opposable thumb.”

Boorab left munching happily on the cupcake from Pinkie and a muffin from Derpy, and Cregga pulled her claws out of Lyra’s grasp.

“Will you be staying, Doctor?” she asked.

The Doctor shook his head and said, “I’m afraid not. We’ve got to deliver these two back to their rightful parents plus I’ve got one or two other things I’d like to deal with. But maybe after all that I can drop by. I am still dying to try some of your cooking; it’s ranked as some of the best in the galaxy.”

Cregga directed her attention to Pinkie who was staring very intensely at her.

“How can you see us if you can’t see us?” asked Pinkie, raising an eyebrow.

Cregga grinned and said, “Sometimes there’s more to a beast than meets the eye. Am I right Pinkie?”

Pinkie ‘hmmn’ed thoughtfully and then said, “How many hooves am I holding up?”

Cregga gave her a confused look and said, “I don’t know how but… five.”

“Come on Miss Pie,” said the Doctor, grabbing Pinkie by the tail and dragging her off, “We’ve got to go. We don’t want the Cake twins late getting home now, do we?”

“Okie-dokie-lokie,” said Pinkie, then smiling at Cregga she said happily, “I’ll see you later.”

“Same here,” said Cregga, chuckling.

As the travelers made their way back to the TARDIS they tried to be as quiet as possible so as not to wake the sleeping twins.

When they got to their destination they were somewhat frightened to see that the rat had escaped. Pinkie on the other hoof was quit sad.

“He forgot his card,” she said with a forlorn look.

“More likely, he couldn’t read,” said Richie, with a quick glance around the clearing.

“Well that doesn’t matter that much now,” said the Doctor, shoving everypony into the TARDIS, “The mission was a great success and we can all go home now-”

“What about humans!” interjected Lyra as the Doctor stepped into the TARDIS and closed the door with a squeak.

“Well we’ve got to get the twins back home now, don’t we?” said the Doctor, “How about after we drop them off I take you four”, he gestured to Fonzie and his friends, “back to your own world?”

“Sounds good to me,” said the Fonz.

“Wait a second,” said Richie, “We can’t go back home looking like this don’t we have to get one of the Princesses to change us back into humans.”

“Who says we need a Princess,” said the Fonzie, standing up on his two hind legs.

With a bright flash of light there in the TARDIS stood Richie, Ralph, Potsie, and the Fonz all in human form. As the light diminished the Fonz snapped his fingers and said, “I’ve missed doing that.”

“How-” stuttered Ralph, looking around at his friends.

“Simple,” said the Fonz, “I was a prince. So I just used my magic powers and ‘boom’ zapped us back to humans… me last, of course.”

Lyra just stood and stared as the Doctor piloted the TARDIS back to Ponyville and let Pinkie and Derpy off with their precious cargo.

“On to Milwaukee,” said the Doctor, returning to the TARDIS’s console.

“Actually,” said the Fonz, glancing at his downtrodden companions, “I think we have some goodbyes to say.”

Richie, Ralph and Potsie all smiled and nodded their heads in agreement.

“Alright,” said the Doctor, “Lyra and I shall be waiting for you.”

“H-h-hum-humans-” choked Lyra, staring at Fonzie, as the TARDIS touched down.

Immediately after exiting the TARDIS, Fonzie and the rest of the gang realized that they were a bit more conspicuous than before.

“Uh guys?” said Richie, “We kind of stick out like sore hooves- I mean thumbs.”

“Really embracing the pony thing there, aren’t you Richie?” asked the Fonz, one eyebrow raised.

“Hey guys!” said a voice from above them, and they turned to see Rainbow Dash coming in for a landing.

“How did you know it was us?” asked Ralph.

“Big, hairless apes getting out of the Doctor’s Blue Box, and one of them is wearing the Fonzie’s jacket…” Rainbow rolled her eyes and snorted, “How could I have possibly figured that one out? So I take it you guys are leaving, what with the whole human thing again?”

“Yeah, we’re moving on,” said the Fonz, “Catch yah, later.”

Rainbow gave him a look and then held out of hoof which the Fonz bumped with his fist.

Richie winced and said, “Didn’t that hurt?”

Rainbow and Fonzie both gave him a look.

Rainbow stepped back and looked at the rest of the group before saying, “Well see yah later. I don’t really go into that sappy nonsense.”

She sniffed and rubbed her left eye with one hoof.

“Are you crying?” asked Ralph.

“What! Of course not, I’m way to cool to be crying-” started Rainbow.

“Just give ‘em a bloody hug and move on with it!” yelled the Doctor, slamming the TARDIS door behind him.

Rainbow sniffed and chuckled a little before she quickly embraced each one of her new friends and then left before anypony she knew could see her.

The four of them headed off to Applejack’s farm with a quick stop at Fluttershy’s which soon turned into a long, sorrowful goodbye.

“I’m going to miss you soooo much,” sobbed Fluttershy as she hugged Potsie who actually looked very sad to be leaving the kind pony.

Meanwhile Angel was busy kicking away at Richie unnoticed by Fluttershy, and Ralph was practically gasping for air in the grasp of a big bear hug from a big brown bear who was crying almost as much as Fluttershy.

“It’s been a real treat knowing you,” said Fonzie who was leaning against the back wall, “I-”

He cut himself off as, looking down, he saw Fluttershy hugging his leg tightly. Reaching down he gently stroked her mane and said, “Yeah, I’ll miss you too Flutters.”

After they left Fluttershy’s cottage they made their way to Applejack’s farm where they were swiftly greeted by the Apple family with some tall glasses of apple cider.

While sipping away at the sweet nectar in the orchard under the warm sun Fonzie and his friends explained themselves and said goodbye to their new friends.

Applejack nudged Fonzie and said, “Now don’t ya’ll be strangers y’hear. Next time yer in town stop by fer a visit, o.k.?”

“I’m not sure we’ll be coming back,” said Richie, swishing the remains of his drink around a few times before draining the mug.

“Ah now that’s stinkin’ thinkin’,” said Applejack, tapping the tree Richie was sitting under with her hooves. An apple fell out and bounced off of Richie’s head, “Once you’ve been ta Sweet Apple Acres ya always come back sooner or later. It’s like one o’ those boom-y-thingy’s.”

“Boomerang,” corrected Sweetie Belle.

“An don’ ferget ta bring any of yer friends. After all the more the merrier… Er uh something… uhmng,” said Granny Smith, as she rocked away in her chair.

“Eyeeup.”

“But you will come back though, won’t you?” said Applebloom, giving Fonzie her biggest puppy-dog eyes.

“Eyyy. Da Fonzie don’t make promises Ee can’t keep,” said Fonzie, raising one hand. Then he dropped it and said, “… And that’s why I ain’t saying I’m never gonna see you’s all again.”

The entire Apple family broke into smiles as the Cutie Mark Crusaders tackled Fonzie and gave him one last goodbye hug.

He didn’t protest one bit to them getting a little dirt on his jacket.

Fonzie and the gang snuck through Ponyville’s back alleyways trying to make it to Rarity’s Boutique and Twilight’s Castle without attracting too much attention. They managed to escape the notice of most of Ponyville’s residents. Most, but not all.

Bon Bon was having a discussion with Twilight about her friend Lyra when she just so happened to notice some dark shapes sneaking past behind Twilight.

Her head tilted to one side and her eyes bugged out as she watched the humans make their way cautiously under a balcony where an elderly pony was sleeping, then she quickly felt in her saddlebags for something.

“Drat! I must have left it at home,” she said and then darted off before Twilight could say a thing.

Twilight turned around and dashed over to Fonzie, yelling as loudly as she could whisper, “What are you doing here dressed like that- I mean looking like that- I mean- Why aren’t you ponies?!”

“You are looking at an ex-prince,” said the Fonz, “Anything you’re Princess can do, I can undo.”

“Bye Twilight,” said Richie, giving Twilight a quick hug.

Twilight gave Richie a confused look and said, “You’re leaving already? I take it the Cake Twins are safe?”

“Are you kidding? It was a piece of cake,” said Ralph, shrugging nonchalantly.

“And Discord’s taking you home?” asked Twilight, raising an eyebrow.

“Let’s just say that we found other means of transportation,” said the Fonz, considering what a bad combination Twilight and the Doctor would make, at least in this world.

“I’ll miss you guys,” said Twilight, sniffing as she hugged each of them goodbye.

“Is Rarity in?” asked Fonzie, looking over at Carousel Boutique.

“She should be,” said Twilight before she was interrupted by a whoosh-thud as a dart flew by her and narrowly missed Fonzie’s jacket.

The five of them spun around to see a pony in night vision goggles with a blowgun repel off a roof and behind a nearby house.

“Quick I’ll distract her while you hide inside,” said Twilight, opening the door for them and running towards the house where the secret agent was waiting to spring her trap against these new monsters invading Ponyville.

Fonzie closed the door quietly behind them and turned to see Rarity brandishing a broom at them.

“Oh, darling I didn’t recognize you,” she said as she put away the broom, “To what do I owe this splendid visit?”

“Some crazy pony with a blowgun,” said Richie, peering cautiously through the curtains.

“I came to say goodbye,” said Fonzie, “I don’t know that many classy dames like yourself so… I thought it would be rude ta just leave ya hangin.”

“Oh how thoughtful of you,” said Rarity as Opal rubbed up against the Fonz and purred contentedly, “I will miss you as well. Are you positive that your jacket doesn’t need any sparkles?”

The Fonz backed away slightly and said, “I don’t got nothin’ against sparkles, personally. Dey just don’t go with my jacket.”

Rarity shrugged and said goodbye to the rest of them before leading them quietly out the back door so as to escape the blowgun-wielding pony.

They made their way towards Sugarcube Corner before they were nearly ambushed. Luckily Twilight managed to warn them in time and they made a break for it.

They managed to lose their attacker just outside of Ponyville near the TARDIS.

Rarity said goodbye one last time and left them alone with the Blue Box.

Ralph coughed and looked back at Ponyville before saying, “We never got to say goodbye to Pinkie.”

“It’s ok Ralph,” said Richie, patting him on the shoulder, “I think she knows we’ll miss her… somehow. Beside it’s either that or a dart between the eyes.”

Ralph nodded and stepped through the TARDIS door. Before the rest of them could make it through though something large, heavy, soft and pink pile-drove them from behind and laid them out flat on the TARDIS’s floor.

They rolled over to find themselves somehow in one giant hug from none other than the pinkest party mare in all of Ponyville.

“You’re not getting away that easily,” she said as she tightened her grip and snuggled in closer to them in one of the warmest friendliest hugs they had ever felt, “I’m really going to miss you guys…”

“Catch ya later,” said the Fonz as he and his friends opened the TARDIS door and stepped into Arnolds. Arnold stood there, eyes wide as he dropped his dishrag on the floor in shock.

Potsie absentmindedly closed the door behind them.

“WAIT!” screamed Lyra as she dove for the TARDIS door.

But it was too late, the door closed and the TARDIS began to fade.

“What about Lyra?” asked Richie, turning to look at where the TARDIS had stood.

“If the Doctor had wanted her here, then why did he leave so quickly?” asked the Fonz.

***

“Come on girl!” said the Doctor, wrestling with the TARDIS’s controls as it careened through space warning lights flashing and sirens blasting.

“Noooooo!!!” screamed Lyra both from the tossing and turning of the TARDIS as from her just barely missing the human world.

“Wheeee!” Yelled Pinkie both hooves in the air.

***

“I guess you have a point,” said Richie, “Still as weird that that whole adventure was, I’m really going to miss them.”

“Me too,” said Ralph.

Suddenly the jukebox started to play a bright happy song that they had never heard before.

Sitting on top of the jukebox was a cake and written on the cake were the words, Happy Birthday Richie. Hope to see you all again soon. Your friend forever, Pinkie.

“I don’t think we’ve seen the last of them,” said Fonz, sitting down in one of the booths. “Now Ralph why don’t you go tell everyone the lesson’s over and they can all come back in? It’s like a graveyard in here.”

Ralph opened the door to the diner and said, “Fonzie says you can all come back in.”

A torrent of teenagers flowed back into Arnold’s as the shop resumed its usual hubbub.

“It’s good to be home,” said the Fonz, leaning back in his chair with a sigh and a smile.