Forwards, Backwards, and Through the Rabbit Hole
Valiant Vale jumped back just in time, as the spike slammed into the floor inches from where he now stood. Gulping, he gazed up at the ceiling, the spike sliding back into the hole from which it shot.
"Buck that was close," he sighed flapping his bat wings to stay off the pressure plates he had set off. "I really should have seen that one coming, after all whoever heard of an artifact NOT having traps in the same room with it!" he gazed back at the golden idol on the pedestal silently mocking him with his failure to notice the obvious.
"Now lets see if I have them all...Spikes from the ceiling that trigger from pressure plates...check. Air current traps designed to fling me away from the pedestal so I can't just fly and grab it...check. Suspicious pedestal that probably is another trap design to kill me in a horrifying manner," Vale said mournfully "OK let's do this."
Flicking his forked tongue in concentration, Vale slowly lowered himself to the floor careful to just barely touch the floor with his hooves, as he distributed his weight so that the plates wouldn't trip. Vale took a moment to make sure none of the plates would activate then slowly scooted forward towards his prize. He looked around at all the skeletons of various races in the spacious room. The number seen did not fill him with a positive outlook.
"Careful...Careful...Aw the hay with it!" he exclaimed in frustration, as he galloped full force at the idol, triggering the spikes behind him and slicing off a few centimeters from his tail.
"MINE!!!" he shouted triumphantly grabbing the idol from the pedestal, the platform lowering in response to its loss of weight. Vale smiled at his prize clutching it in his hooves until the wind surge under his wings.
"Oh horsefeathers."
Pulling him violently into its current, the trap shot him from the pedestal like a cannon straight towards a wall laden with spikes and more unfortunate victims he was soon to join.
"Whelp, this is it, figures that of all the things to do me in it's my impatience that's going to get me killed," he gasped hurtling towards the spikes. He clutched the idol in his hooves protectively, determined to keep his prize to the very end. Shutting his eyes, he awaited the inevitable. After a few moments, Vale felt his chest getting hotter, almost to the point of burning. Confused, he opened his eyes, squinting almost immediately against the new harsh light in the room. Looking at the contents of his hooves revealed that the prize he had sought was glowing like a miniature sun. Turning his sensitive eyes from the painful light, he noticed he was hovering in place, despite the strong gale around him pressuring him towards the spikes.
"Huh, well that was pretty lucky," he said looking back at the idol, the light from it intensifying to the point where he could no longer see it. Filled with a sense of fear and a feeling that something was wrong, he squinted to counter the light and looked closer at his hooves. His hind legs were disappearing! Thinking quickly, he decided there was only one appropriate response to this.
"AAAAHHHHH!!!!!" he screamed as more of him continued to vanish, "Oh please don't kill me, I didn't mean to move you. I'll put you back I swear on moon's honor! Just le–"
The room fell silent once more, as no sign was left of the thestral invader nor the precious idol. Only a few marks in the dust and a lack of anything on the pedestal betrayed the fact that somepony had entered at all.
Forwards, Backwards, and Through the Rabbit Hole
Jayce watched the deer from the brush, careful not to make any noise or sudden movements that might alert it to his presence. He didn't want this one getting spooked like the last one, or the one before that, or the one — not helping he seethed internally.
Stupid bet, he thought. How could I have known this forest survival crap is this hard. Snapping out of that track of thought, he looked down at the deer through his scope on his rifle. As it leaned down to eat, he grasped the gun in his hands, starting to pull the trigger already tasting the succulent meat.
"...bbbBBUUUUCCCKKK MEEE!" a voice cried out; a thunderous crash following soon after. Shattering the silence that the early morning forest once possessed, the crash scaring any animals in the nearby area into bolting and caused Jayce to loose the bullet into a nearby tree.
"Aggh! Really?!" Jayce cried in frustration. "OK, someone owes me a deer or at least an explanation and a meal," he growled. "I'm not going back home just to have that asshole of a father laugh at me, telling me he was right." He picked himself up from his hiding spot, grabbed his gun and started to trudge off towards the source of the noise. As he was walking, his thoughts turned to the argument that had started this mess and the bet made from it.
(Yesterday)
"Son, it's time you started doing something with your life," Dad droned starting up another rendition of the same old argument with his favorite catchphrase. "I don't care what you think about this artsy crap it's not a real job, because you sure as hell aren't making enough for you to support yourself and I think you could better apply yourself elsewhere."
Jayce looked up from his sketches to glare at his father. "I told you already, you old fossil, that it takes time to get art to sell, you can't just get instantly rich or famous; you have to build yourself up from the bottom rung of the unknown and work your way up," he said already feeling tired of this conversation. "Besides, I'm not going to work at your company just because your last gopher ran out 'cause you are a massive douchebag." He could only smile at his father's expression of anger and the vein practically bursting on his temple.
"You wouldn't survive one week out there on the streets without my roof over your head, you ungrateful brat!" Dad bellowed with rage.
"I bet I could survive in the wild bare-ass naked without you!" Jayce shouted back.
"Fine then, let's make a deal. If you can survive one month with no help, no food, and no water in the wild, I will let you continue this ridiculous dream of 'art'. However, if you can't do so you will work for my company as a loyal employee and give up this nonsense forever," Dad said smugly. "Its only a week without clothes but I'm willing to compromise."
(Back to the Present)
What dear old dad doesn't know is that my friend has a cabin out here and I'm more than happy to impose while I wait out this month, Jayce thought. I'd be in real trouble without it and no way am I going to give that old bastard the satisfaction of watching me fail. He was getting close to the source of the noise from earlier and couldn't help but wonder about the smoke he saw billowing from the trees ahead.
I hope no one started a fire, I'm definitely not up to running for my life from the flames, he thought morbidly. Taking a deep whiff before investigating any further into the noise revealed the smell of ozone in the air, but at least it wasn't the smell of burning wood or worse flesh. He quickly shook his head getting away from 'that thought'. Creeping through the trees he approached a clearing where the source, a crater, could be clearly seen as the vegetation in the area was black as soot all the way to the edge of it.
His curiosity getting the better of him, he approached the crater rifle at the ready for anything. Peering into the crater, he spotted something at the bottom. Immediately, he started checking for unusual spots on his skin or for some severe injury.
"Did I eat something?" he spoke in disbelief refusing to acknowledge the contents of the crater. "I must be hallucinating or something 'cause I am not, I repeat am not looking at a mutant horse in that crater." Looking back into the crater confirmed that, yes there was indeed the strangest looking horse he had ever seen. The horse looked like a match of bat and horse gone wrong. For one, the thing's bat wings were way too small to support it, even if it was pretty small to begin with. The horse looked like standing it would only reach chest height at best on him, which would be about 4 feet give or take. Maybe it was a kid horse thing? What were they called again...pony that's right! For two, the 'pony' was sporting colors that he thought he would only see on paper. Its mane was dark purple and ended about what would be shoulder length, though there was probably another word for that. Its coat was dark grey with, an ass tat. Yep, that's a tattoo on a horse, how did it get on the fur? It looked like a treasure map red X and all.
"You are the weirdest pegasus (closest thing he could think of to match it) horse thing I have ever seen, not that I see too many of those," he said. Like all great men before him when confronted with the strange and alien, Jayce promptly pulled from the annals of first contact movies and conspiracy nuts with too much time on their hands and came to a decision as to how this should be handled. He grasped his rifle firmly and jabbed the "Pegasus" in the nose.
"Uhhhggg," the creature moaned scrunching up its muzzle in irritation as a hoof moved to bat away the rifle.
Jayce dropped his rifle in shock at the creature speaking, only realizing too late that he had dropped a loaded weapon, as the impact with the ground below caused it to fire.
"Ah! I'm up, I'm up don't get the hose!" the creature yelped jumping into the air, only to fall after flapping its wings for a short time. Landing square on its muzzle the creature groaned and rubbed the abused area.
"You can talk?" Jayce stated stunned by what he had heard.
"Who, what, where...I'm alive? I'M ALIVE! Take that creepy idol thing," the pegasus shouted hoof in the air. "Wait, victory dance later, first where am I?" Turning away 'he' (Jayce decided it sounded like a he) started looking around. "I don't recognize any of this forest, the artifact must have put me pretty far from...the...ruins," the pegasus paused for a moment completely still. "Oh hay, please tell me it's still here," he panicked as he looked back into the crater still not catching sight of Jayce. "I broke it!" he cried. "All that trouble, all the traps, the thugs chasing me in the marketplace for the map; I stayed in a barrel for eight hours just to keep it safe. EIGHT HOURS! Daring is going to be so mad at me for screwing this up she'll probably make me go give lectures at the museum–"
"Uh hey there, pegasus thing?" Jayce hesitantly spoke.
"THESTRAL!" the 'thestral' shouted as his ears swiveled in Jayce's direction. Looking up at him the horse continued to speak, "Its not hard, bat wings means thestral not peg...a...sus," his voice dying as Jayce came into his sight. Both thestral and man stood silently looking at each other, waiting for something.
Jayce taking the initiative decided to wave his current decisions sound so far. Yep, waving at a 'thestral', god those teeth, I hope those fangs don't mean blood sucking horse. That would just complete my day, it really would.
The thestral waved back and started to speak, "Uh, hi my name is Valiant Vale, thestral and proud resident of Equestria (ughhh horse puns). But you can just call me Vale, and if I might trouble you for an answer, who and what are you? Oh, and please PLEASE tell me you don't eat pony meat, because if so I am chock full of whatever it is that would not be a nutritious breakfast/lunch/whatever," the thestral added nervously.
"OK...just going to roll with this and come to terms with my loss of sanity later," Jayce muttered. "I'm Jayce, a human from America, and to answer no I don't eat pony I would find that really nasty," he replied to Vale.
"Awesome," Vale stated. "Well, uh I'm stuck here for now, but do you think you could tell me in which direction Equestria is in?"
"Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but I've never heard of Equestria, this here is Idaho," he replied.
Vale visibly slumped at this, his ears splaying on his head and his tail drooping.
"Hey, why don't we go back to my place and grab something to eat while we figure out where to go from here?" Jayce suggested.
Vale nodded slowly and followed Jayce as he left the clearing, heading in the direction of his friend's cabin.
