Party with pinkie!

A loud giggle erupted through the basement.

"Oh, silly, of course I can talk!", pinkie said through bursts of laughter. The thingy in front of her seemed not to know what ponies were.

Jeffrey woods stared back at the talking pink pony in amazement. Had... Had... He drunk too much the night before or something? This couldn't be real right. Although he'd seen crazier... He immediately lowered the knife that was pressed deeply against the pony's throat. She coughed in response.

"Wow, that knife is really sharp! What do you use to sharpen it?", pinkie said still smiling extremely widely, even though her life had been in danger moments before.

Jeff stared for a moment then responded cautiously, "A, um, metal buffer... ". This pony seemed to be interested in knives... And things. Pretty morbid for a talking pony, Although, he couldn't exactly talk.

Pinkie clapped her hooves excitedly and pointed to a saw in the corner. "I use that!", excitement was well etched into her voice now. Oh goody! A thingy that shared her love for sharp things!

Jeff thought for a moment. "Okay, so do you... Use knives and things often?". He tilted his head as he waited for her response.

Pinkie's eyes widened in response. "YES, YES! I love all my knives and cleavers and spikes and saws... ", She could list for hours if she hadn't been interrupted.

Jeff held out his hands dismissively. "Okay, okay! Hm. I like using those things too... What do you use them for?". He let a grin stretch slightly across his already smiling face.

Pinkie jumped up and down, her straight mane flopping with the movement. "Oh, I thought you'd never ask! I use them to play with other ponies and then make them into delicious treats! Mainly cupcakes".  She felt so professional when she explained her work. Hopefully she wouldn't have to kill this creature, he seemed fun!

Jeff let the grin spread into a smile, that stretched his mouth to almost impossible lengths. "How do you play with them?".

Pinkie twitched with excitement, her neck frantically moving in sharp motions side-to-side. "Oh, I use my tools to make them look funny! Or I sing to them whilst I harvest their organs to make cupcakes!", she closed her eyes contently as she thought about her victims. Each one didn't play along too well... But it was still fun!

Jeff was starting to like this pony... "My, that does sound fun! Do you think I could... Maybe help you with a victim sometime?". He flipped his knife up in the air and caught it as he said this. He couldn't wait to hurt people in knew ways... Or rather ponies in knew ways. "My name is Jeff by the way, and your's?".

Pinkie stopped jumping up and down and the twitching in her neck intensified. "Sure! Oh my name is pinkie pie! Or pinkamena diane pie, or the greatest party pony in all of equestria! Nice to meet you Jeff!", she said the words so fast it sounded like a loud mumble, slightly gurgled by her twitching. "But to get somepony down here I might need your help, since lately ponies have noticed the disappearances happening around this area, and I wouldn't want to seem tooooo suspicious because then I wouldn't get to play any more!", she said the last bit with imminent sadness in her voice. She couldn't bare to loose her playtimes!

Jeff nodded to most things said, even though he didn't understand some parts. "Sure, I'll help you, But... Won't it seem strange for someone like me to be seen by... Ponies?". Even though she seemed calm and collective around him, he doubted other ponies would be.

Pinkie put a hoof thoughtfully to her bottom lip. "I could just tell them you're a new creature I found and that you help me with secret parties!".

Jeff tilted his head. "Will they believe that?".

"Of course they will silly!" she clapped her hooves together and kept them in that position whilst she continued. "One last thing before we start".

Jeff looked at her inquisitively. "Yes?".

She smiled. "Do you like cupcakes?"