In which Applejack learns the Great Truth
Thud.
Apples.
Thud.
Apples.
Day in and day in, Applejack lived the life of apples. There were no day outs, only day ins. She worked hard, rugged work from dawn to dusk, maintaining the farm when off applebuck season and bucking apples and maintaining the the farm when on.
The change in pace was abrupt when Granny Smith told her to stay in one day. After Big Mac and Applebloom had left to go take care of the chores after a sleepy breakfast, Granny Smith held her back with a hoof, "Not today Applejack, there's something I need to tell you."
Applejack carefully pushed Granny's hoof aside and made to walk out of the kitchen, "Sorry Granny, I got lots to get done, ah don' wanna fall behind. Lemme just get the chores outta the way and I'll come right back, ah promise."
Slowly circling to block Applejack's exit, Granny gently held her back, "Hush now, ah appreciate your dedication to tha farm, but ah need to give you this talk," before Applejack could respond, Granny added, "Ah asked Big Mac to take care of your chores for you, so don't you be worryin' about the farm."
Applejack relented, and Granny continued, "Now Applejack, it's time that I gave you the talk."
"Tha' talk? Aw shoot Granny, I found out about that years ago in school from the older foals, before old Missus Blackboard could teach it to us," Applejack blushed.
Granny laughed, "Oh no, not that talk, the other talk. Ya won't have heard of this from anypony," she nudged Applejack, "And it's mares only."
"Talk? Ah thought there was only one talk. There's more?"
"Ayup. Mares only. Specifically, mothers-to-be," Granny said.
"Ah ain't been with no st-" Applejack started, but Granny cut her off, sticking a hoof over her mouth, "Ahm not accusin' ya of anythin'. It's just that ahm getting along in mah years and you need to know afore ah hit the hay. Better ya learn from me than from yer friends."
"Mah friends? They know?"
Granny tapped her chin, musing, "Ah reckon that Rarity and Fluttershy know, and that Rainbow Dash and Princess Twilight don't. Ahm not sure about Pinkie Pie, but then again, nopony really knows her." She continued, "Anyhoo, I'll just have to show ya. Can't really tell ya."
Taking a deep breath in and out, Granny scanned the kitchen where the family cooked and ate before asking, "Applejack, what do ya see?"
Applejack looked around, "Well, we need more garlic and flour. The fridge needs another boost a' magic, judging from that magic meter, and the apples on the third shelf are goin bad, and they need ta be eatin' or thrown out."
Granny judged her response, "Close. Ya think like a mare. A farm mare. But if y'all are gonna raise Applebloom right ifn' ah hit the hay too soon, ya need to think like a mare."
"So I need ta think like a mare, not a...mare?"
"No, a mare. There's a difference," Granny replied, "Now, when ah look at the table, ah see a filthy table, with dirty dishes that need to be done. That rag by the sink needs ta be washed, and Applebloom did a poor job of clearin' the table."
Applejack looked confused, "It looks fine, Applebloom did a pretty good job. Ah admit it's a little bit bang-up, but what can ya do?"
"Oh everythin' Applejack," Granny pointed, "Go git two fresh rags from that there cupboard."
Walking over to the cupboard, Applejack took out two rags, "Now what?"
"Wipe the table down again."
Applejack wet one of the rags, and with a hoof, started wiping down the table in a grid pattern, covering every inch of the table. She repeated the same thing with the dry rag, making sure to get everything. Finishing, she looked at Granny for approval.
Granny took one look at the table and said, "It's still dirty."
"But-"
"Look again."
A sneaky little bit of apple jam had stuck itself on the edge of the table, defying the tyrannical rule of the rags. Applejack took her rag and wiped the errant piece of jam from the table, ending all resistance, "There. Now it's clean."
Granny eyed the table again, "Nope, missed a spot."
Applejack looked at the table again, but it was a clean, spotless thing, "Where?"
Granny pointed at a pocket of bread crumbs left over from breakfast, "Right there. Do ya see yet?"
Spotting them, Applejack brushed the crumbs into a rag and dumped them in the sink, "Ahm not quite sure what you're gettin' at Granny."
"Well, is the table clean?"
Applejack looked at the table again, "Well, it is now."
"The table ain't clean Applejack, you need ta redo it."
"Wha-" Sure enough, a coffee stain had inexplicably found its way onto the table. Grumbling, Applejack snatched a rag and scrubbed the stain out of the world.
"There, now its-"
"Applejack, I don't want ta keep ya here longer than ya need ta be. The table is still dirty."
"But I made-" Again, crumbs littered the table. Applejack looked suspiciously around the kitchen, "Is this a prank? RD? Is Applebloom sprinklin' things from a hole in the ceiling?"
"There ain't no prank here, filly, only the fact that the table is still dirty."
"But I made sure that it's clean, there's no way, no how that the table could still be dirty!"
It wasn't possible, but no matter what, the table was dirty. Applejack wobbled a little, trying to get a grip on reality before her beliefs shattered like Meissner porcelain cast against stone. She looked again at the table, and it was clean. She checked and rechecked, sweeping the table with a foreleg to get everything off, all to culminate with Granny Smith's repeated and constant assertion that the table was, in fact, still dirty.
Again and again, Applejack cast herself against this stone, wiping that accursed applewood table, her breath ragged from effort. Unflinchingly and without remorse, Granny always spotted something, be it smears, stains, crumbs, something tarnished the otherwise spotless table.
"Nope. Ya missed that smear of apple jam."
"There's still a bit 'o fur on the table."
"A stain o' hard cider to yer left. Stop thinkin' like a filly and think like a mare!"
"More crumbs."
Then it hit Applejack. The simple, resounding truth. Again, she glanced back at the table, and spark lit in her eyes. For the first time in her life, she saw. It was like fog that had been hovering over her eyes had been lifted, and she saw that there was no prank or mistake, only the truth that the table was in fact, still dirty.
Her mind reeled. How long had she existed like this? How could she have existed like this? For once in her life, she saw a fraction of what Rarity saw on a daily basis. The table was still dirty, and so were the dishes. Glancing around the kitchen, Applejack saw how dirty everything was. Once more, she took up rags against her foe. She wiped down the table, seeing and observing every little speck of bread and cider. No smear or stain escaped her notice, and these she wiped without mercy.
She looked at Granny, and Granny nodded, "You see now," Granny turned to leave the kitchen, "In time, you'll need ta tell Applebloom when she's old enough. Don't bother yet though, it'll be a while before she understands."
Applejack could only nod dumbly.
The door to the Cutie Mark Crusaders clubhouse slammed shut as Applebloom marched in, "Sweetie, has Applejack been takin' lessons from Rarity or somthin'?"
"No, Applejack barely even comes over to pick up stuff for your farmhouse or to visit. Why?" Sweetie Belle replied.
"She suddenly got super ensuf-, onseff-"
"Insufferable?" supplied Scootaloo.
"Yeah! She's usually okay with the job ah do on the chores, but, ugh, she was super picky today!" Applebloom groused.
Sweetie Belle grinned, "Can't be as bad as Rarity gets."
"Rarity might as well have been there!" Applebloom screamed, shaking Sweetie, "She made me take out tha vacuum just to get a crumb outta the rug. A CRUMB! How did she even SEE that?"
"Living with Rarity one-oh-one," said Sweetie, putting on a refined accent, "Everything must be absolutely perfectly impossibly perfect."
Scootaloo lounged back on one of the cushions, "This is why Rainbow Dash is the awesome-est pony around. She's super chill about messes whenever she lets me stay over."
Applebloom continued, "It's like she was tryin ta' be my mom or something, and she kept grinnin' at Granny Smith as if there was some sort of prank. She kept me for thirty minutes at the table because ah apparently missed somethin'. For Celestia's sake ah swear tha' table was clean! But every time, there was somethin'-"
"You missed?" Finished Sweetie Belle.
"Exactly!"
Applebloom and Sweetie Belle looked at each other, "One instance is just Rarity bein' Rarity, but now that Applejacks doin' it.."
"Cutie Mark Crusaders Conspiracy Therorists?" proposed Sweetie Belle.
"Ahm in."
"Count me in," said Scootaloo.
"Cutie Mark Crusaders Conspiracy Theorists GO!"