Pony Meat Business – Dissent

Celestia groggily lifted her head to find herself floating in a body of water.

“How did I end up in the pool?” she asked, her voice rising to a nervous tenor. She spotted some stallions across the cavern preoccupied with herding Pinkie clones into cages. She quickly swam towards the shore, visibly shaking. The enchanted water made her blood run cold, and she wondered if it could drag her under to take revenge for its overuse. Celestia cleared those thoughts away as she pulled herself onto land. She heard the voices of several excited Pinkie Pies echoing across the cavern.

She looked around for somepony to talk to and she discovered that Sunset Shimmer was nearby, making notes on a floating clipboard. The unicorn looked up from her papers as Celestia tentatively approached her.

Celestia kept her demeanor casual. “My dear Sunset, something very unusual has happened. I can’t remember what I was doing and I actually woke up in the pool.”

Sunset smiled reassuringly, her teeth having a cat-like sharpness to them. “You can relax, Tia. Everything is going to plan.”

Celestia hesitated. “We planned for me to be in the pool?”

“Well, no, you woke up in the pool because you did not follow protocol. The pony to be cloned reaches out a helping hoof and the clone grabs it and is pulled out. If you don’t follow the rules, you might drift around or even die. I’ve seen a lot of things.”

Celestia grimaced. “I don’t think I understand. You’re saying I was pulled in, right?”

Sunset peered at the clipboard and her quill began writing: subject is unaware that she is repressing memories in denial of her situation.

“I’m sorry, Tia; let’s start over.” She looked at the clipboard. “You are a… one clone Celestia, not impregnated, 100% memories, and your body looks to be in great shape. You are a special order; it’s somewhat rare to clone you, doubly so with 100% memories. We’ve got to have tests done on you down at the factory to make sure you hold no unusual attributes. You'll shortly be seeing Doctor Flutters, our factory therapist, to sort out your… unique... psychological situation.”

Celestia felt her stomach drop but kept her voice level. “Sunset, I don’t feel like a clone whatsoever.”

“That means the system is working,” Sunset said smiling, “Clones of your quality are highly desired, after all.”

Celestia shook her head. “No. What I mean is I have a sense of self, like I have feelings. The mirror pool creates magical constructs that only mechanistically behave like their real counterparts with only simulated, prerecorded emotions.”

“Our latest experiments in neurological sentience at the factory suggest otherwise. I always thought you were wrong about that and now you know the truth of it, right? Regardless, feelings are not a working criteria that can be tested for in the way that you mean.”

“Oh.” Celestia frowned. “Still, there could have been a mix up like what they call a switcheroo. Couldn’t that be possible? Or the mirror pool enacted some conspiracy to take revenge on me?”

“A mind of its own?” Sunset chuckled, “Well, I don’t know, but that sounds weird coming from you, Tia. Oh, by the way, your name is Tia now to distinguish you from the original Celestia.”

Tia sunk to the ground for a moment and dug at the dirt with her hooves. “Yeah, I remember.” At that moment, Tia realized what she was wearing. She stood bolt upright, “Oh my! I’ve got the crown, the royal regalia, everything. I must be the real Celestia.”

Sunset erupted in a fit of laughter, “You’re so funny, Tia! That was such an authentic reaction you’re well on your way to convincing me. However, sometimes, very rarely, the clothes or accessories of the pony are magically cloned as well. We’re not sure why that happens.”

“Oh.” Tia blushed. “Well, never mind that. I just want to be sure it’s true that I am a clone before I will believe it.”

“It doesn’t matter what I say, though. From your point of view this could still all turn out to be a conspiracy, a prank, or I could be a paid actor; I’ve heard it all.”

Tia sighed. “Great... it’s a long shot, but now I have some things to hope for.”

“If you’re going to hope for anything, hope for your present circumstances to be radically and masochistically embraced. Every clone who gives in to their fate and stops struggling is mentally liberated.” Sunset pointed a hoof at Tia, “The fact is, you are a delicious and sexy meat pony. There have been so many clones who lived and died in sexual ecstasy and you can, too!”

“Yes, I would be so lucky to lose my mind. I'm sure your factory programs can help me with that.” Tia turned her head to watch the other clones being herded and spotted a sobbing Fluttershy. “Forget about me, I’m starting to worry about all the clones who are not enjoying themselves…” she grimaced, “all those poor ponies, their bodies are going to be violated, and things will get worse from there. Perhaps I can weigh in on the morals of clone treatment?”

Sunset looked baffled. “You want to place stipulations on the consumer? That will cut into profits and no agreements like that will be honored anyway. You do have all of your memories, don’t you? According to you, it’s against policy to discuss the morals of cloning. Although… you can talk to your future owners about morals,” she said thoughtfully, “maybe they’ll want to make you their pony waifu. However, almost everypony is utilized for sexual purposes and is then eaten up. So yeah, we don’t let clones weigh in on any aspect of how the business is run. Your orders.”

Tia turned her gaze towards the cavern ceiling. “Mother of me, what have I done?”

Just then, Tia heard a calm, familiar voice behind her. “Hello there. I can see that you are having a hard time adjusting.” Tia turned around to see the very image of herself. Same posture, same regal bearing, same everything.

Celestia’s voice made Tia want to cower inside, but she was not going to let it show. “After speaking to Sunset, I’ve come to understand that I may be a clone. Tell me about you, though, how is it you know that you are the real Celestia?”

Celestia shrugged. “I just know. Usually all I have to do is point out I’m the one wearing a crown, but you too have donned the full royal regalia. Who gave those to you?”

Tia huffed. “I got this crown for being the princess.”

Sunset answered, “The mirror pool created it. We’re not sure why that happens, but the ponies at the factory are working on solving it.”

Celestia sighed, “Sunset, can you think of a way to officially tell the difference between me and this sad, confused copy of me?”

Sunset put her hoof to her chin. “Raising the sun?”

Celestia rolled her eyes. “Come on, Sunset, think about where we are. You’d have to fly above the Everfree canopy just to be a referee.”

“Oh, crap.” Sunset blushed and thought. “Okay, I’ve got it! Since mirror clones have a magic power level that is almost nothing compared to the real Celestias, you’ll have to have a magic duel.”

Celestia thought about that. “Okay, but I’m worried about the collateral damage. We need something simple, quick, and controlled. One spell.”

“You have strong fire magic. Why don’t we see which one of you can fast-fry a Pinkie clone and which one merely singes her fur?”

Celestia contemplated, “Hmmm… I don’t want the workplace smelling like charred pony flesh, but we have nothing else on hoof to test our firepower. Pinkie will do.”

Tia was appalled at the idea of murdering a Pinkie, even if clones were doomed in the long run. She tried to get a sense of her own magic power level and she felt that something was off. Still, if she could just channel enough power she would prove that she was the real one and this would all be a misunderstanding. She bravely stated, “I want a chance to prove myself. I know that I’m the true Celestia at heart.”

Celestia suddenly became agitated. “I don’t know why I should waste my energy. Sunset, are you saying you are entertaining this phony clone’s story?”

“Of course not, Celestia. I just wanted to watch you put this impostor in her proper place.” She put her hoof to her stomach. “Also, it’s almost lunch time and, well, I got to eat somepony,” she said with an apologetic tone, smiling innocently.

Celestia nodded. “Alright, I guess it may be prudent to prove to everypony that I am the real deal once in a while. Sunset, go grab us a Pinkie Pie.”

“We’re just going to be cooking up one Pinkie?” asked Sunset, pouting.

“I think so. I’m letting my impostor have the first turn.”