Prototype: Equestria & The Rise of Pariahby The JoekerChaptersThe end is nigh... don't say we didn't warn you!The greater the power, the more dangerous the abuse.God in EquestriaThe Ticket Conundrum The Scientist.When in doubt, throw the prick out! Meet the parentsThe Tangled Web I Weave...Back in the loopThe end is nigh... don't say we didn't warn you!Author's Note Just something to occupy us while we deal with writer's block, so yeah... The end is nigh... don't say we didn't warn you! Pariah… My name… My code, my operation, my designation. I was Project Crusade, now I am Project Pariah. It is all these things, it is my identity, it IS me. But what am I? Human? No. A virus? Quite possibly… Male or female? None, my appearance is that of the males gender however, so I guess... male. I consumed my first person within the first 20 seconds of my life, believe it or not. I remember vividly that I held a scientists finger… and broke it. Then I consumed him, my first words were. "Fuck, this is uncomfortable." words and ideas formed in my head, I had consumed one of the top government scientists. They cut the umbilical cord and put me in a cell, that was where I spent the first 5 years of my life, it was where I made my first escape, where I made my first real kill. They brought me out for exercises and I punched a hole through the guards chest and ran, consuming him and learning military techniques, moves, how guns worked, etc. etc. Another one, I consumed and used as a disguise to get out because of his balaclava, before I could leave however, they gassed me with a red cloud and I passed out. When I awoke it was back in my cell, the same smell, the same noise, the same wall, the same… hell, everything. I groaned and retched up last nights lunch, the guards DNA, heh heh. I laughed at the mortals, the humans as they scurried around me, trying to fulfil their 'purpose' in life, of which they said I am the finality of. I had no time limit to find mine, I could wait for eons if necessary, not that I'm that patient. Humans are on a strict time limit, time itself, mortality, death, these words mean nothing to me, as to me they don't exist, they don't affect me. They can't affect me. They're too scared to affect me. The scientist theorise that I'll stop growing, like stop as in not advance in looks or youth anymore at 18, after that my body will completely succumb to my viral nature, the guards tried to shoot me once, well, conspiracy theorists posing as guards, that's when I discovered my invulnerability. I tore those posers apart with my bare hands, consuming them, their minds were in total belief of what they thought, but what they thought, was real, I mean, I wasn't what they were expecting, then again, I'm not what anyone was expecting, the guard I consumed seemed to think I am the perfect incarnation of the 'virus' as they called it, it hasn't got a name yet, maybe I should be the one to name it, seeing as I'm its incarnation... I've always wanted a name. Then there was Mercer, Alex Mercer is- was the artificial release of the virus, he released it just to spite the world and doom it, and without the virus wearing his clothes he would've probably let it run it's course, it took out 80% of Manhattan's population after all, not including military casualties. Alex Mercer is dead, not when James Heller consumed him, no, but he died when he was gunned down by Blackwatch, the virus just took over where he left off, scrapped the canvas and made a new one, but then Blacklight, as is hi- it's real name started searching for the torn up, missing canvas and piecing it back together like Humpty Dumpty, when he did finally finish it, well, everyone believes he was blown up by the nuke, not me, I know the virus doesn't die, as long as there's a drop of viral paste left, as a defence mechanism, anything it comes into contact with is consumed, be it animal or human, if it's organic it's eaten for sustenance. This is from my own knowledge of my own virus, I mean all I am is… well, viral paste, albeit more solid viral paste than Mercer seeing as I was born like it, I don't even have any bones, I did, but by the age of 1 they were gone, replaced with viral biomass. Testing my limits was fun, I'll admit, lifting tanks and cars was good fun, then the look of surprise on the scientists faces when I threw it at the wall, if all my might was in it, that wall would've shattered, but they would've subdued me again. I can also mould my hands into things, a sword, a hammer, anything I will it to, the only reason I don't escape is they make me happy, I ask for something, I get it, barring release of course. I watch t.v play XB and PS, whatever I want I get, they even let me online so long as I don't divulge government secrets to the general public, which I don't, the things I do know would be to much for their lesser minds to figure out anyway. Then one day… it all changed... I was watching t.v as usual when my cell door opened,(don't ask what case I won't tell) I wondered if it was a malfunction or something, as one of my doors was on an electric lock and the other was a steel door and only the head scientist has the key. I checked it out and found both doors wide open, if this was a test or challenge of some sort, I was ready, I changed my hands into swords and advanced through the doors carefully, ready for anything that might pounce out at me. Anything that did would lead a very short life, and a possibly untimely death, my 'mind' was plaguing me with certain thoughts. I headed out and heard an alarm blaring, the base was on high alert... and I hadn't escaped before it went off... strange... I saw the scientists loading up the trucks and a commander walking through the corridor, I ran at him and he threw a smoke bomb at me, which I hid in for a second, I had grown immune to the gas now, and I jumped out and pounced. -Third Person POV- Meanwhile, outside the base. "Victor 1-1, where are you?" "I just saw Pariah and gassed him he's knocked ou- *static*" "Major?" *static* "Victor 1-1 respond!" Suddenly a door opened and he walked out with his radio, he held it up and shrugged, signifying it was broken. "Here's a new one 1-1, get on." said the sergeant and tossed him a new radio As they drove away they saw Russian MiG's blow up the base. Why had Pariah not killed them? He was not without his morals, being born like a human, but the only thing that remains human about him is his emotions. -4 years later- This war had gone on for 4 years, the End War, the Russians had attacked America and China was on Britain, all-in-all the world superpowers had their hands full. All those sandwich board guys were going around saying they told us so, and rightfully so. Most cities were destroyed in the first wave of the attack by bombings, except NYZ which had recovered from it's second viral outbreak, and was being used as a huge military outpost, where Pariah was undercover as a Major, and his codename was actually Pariah, also known as John Pearson. He had enjoyed military life so far and learned certain human values like... 'friends' which seemed petty to him but he made a few anyway, being careful not to get attached. To be honest the war is all he's ever known, he now had the mind of a soldier. He had fought on the Russian front for two years and the Chinese front for two, consuming some of them, and gaining much knowledge, he also met Heller, who was actually Alex Mercer, in disguise, who had killed Heller slowly after he consumed him by slowly consuming Heller's memories from the inside out, turning Heller into Mercer, Mercer decided to let the war wage, until they had wiped themselves out. They were about to ship out to Russia again for a big battle apparently the one to end all wars. As they were loading up a bright light was seen and Pariah looked up. A missile, not a nuke but... a big one, and another, and another, all heading to different places in America, he jumped off the chopper he was halfway getting on and stared at the one heading for them with his fellow soldiers, while the civilians were panicking and grabbing a few soldiers, telling them to get them out of there, the soldiers knew that there was no escaping this, NYZ was done for, they saw America launch their own missiles to China and Russia as a 'fuck you' Washington was hit first, then Chicago, then Illinois, then... New York. Everyone had resigned to watch the end come. Would Pariah and Mercer be the only survivors... maybe... Pariah closed his eyes as he felt the heat come and opened them as he watched everyone turn to skeletons and then nothing as they were vaporised. He got out alive obviously and headed to a military evac outpost in D.C which was under attack, he was sat in a makeshift hospital under the national Mall and saw it was as busy as a beehive, as the expression goes, he had obviously recovered his meat suit's damage from the blast. (This is basically Of Their Own Accord mission from COD novelised, for character building, skip if you want by going to -1 year later- ) "Pariah 1-1!" said PVT. James Ramirez, a friend of his as he was sat down at the back, James saluted. "Hey James, at ease Private." said Pariah and got up with a hand from Ramirez. "I thought you died man!" he exclaimed and hugged him, which Pariah had learned to return. "Yeah, I thought I was dead to! luckily I had set up camp just within the blast zone to establish communication with you and NYZ and was in the middle of gathering firewood when 'boom!' and you know the rest." he said. "Yeah, a lot of guys here are now lonely and broken with nothing left to fight for, Ivan's gonna have a fight on their hands." he said as they walked the base and he swapped his M9 for a M14 EBR and Pariah picked up a Desert Eagle so he could dual wield with the one he already had. They heard radio chatter around them as they walked the base, as they walked the main room a bomb went off overhead, causing some of the ceiling to spew dust and a little rubble. They headed through the hospital and passed soldiers sat against walls, some with bandages, they saw Corporal Dunn ahead and decided to see the next move. They saw some soldiers not in uniform, some crying some thinking, and there were body bags, at least 6. As they headed forward a soldier ran in with another soldier on his back in the firemans lift as they headed forward. Then a Ranger approached Dunn. "On your feet, we're Oscar Mike!" he said and threw Dunn a rifle, Pariah had a M16A4 Grenadier and two Desert Eagles. and Ramirez had a M4A1 Grenadier w/ Holographic. "Roger, 2-1 Actual out, Listen up! this evac site is getting hit hard! we need to buy em' some time, hooah?!" said Foley. "Hey! Foley! good to see ya." said Pariah. "Major Pearson!" said Foley and saluted. "At ease, I'm here to listen to your orders." he said and cocked his rifle. "Good, you heard, let's move!" said Foley. "All Call Signs, the EZ is under heavy fire!" he couldn't make the rest of the message out but he got the idea. "Overlord! this is Pariah 1-1, my squad were in NYZ and killed! I'm the only one left, but I'm joining Hunter to take back the Evac Zone! Parah 1-1 out!" he said over the radio. "Roger that Major, sorry about your squad but good to have you here, Overlord out!" "Wouldn't want to be anywhere else Overlord, John over and out." he said and ran along the trenches with the squad as bombs went off all around them. They saw a chopper evacuating soldiers and he shouted: "Good luck!" over to them. He saw a soldier get shot through the skull, another was gunned down. "They got eyes on us. Snipers, RPG teams, and heavy arms fire, top floor, 12 o'clock due west of our position." said Pariah. "Overlord, this Hunter 2-1 Actual, requesting air strike, over!" as he said that Pariah heard the things going on. "Move your men up! Go!" "Hooah!" "We're taking too much Fire!" "Incoming! Take cover!" They ran past a tank and kept moving. "Uh, negative Two-One Actual, all available air units are currently tasked with multiple casevacs along the Potomac. Proceed west to the target building and provide support, out." said Overlord. "Roger Overlord, this is Pariah 1-1, saying I'm heading there, hooah!" he said. As they headed to the Department of Commerce building, Rangers all around the field were getting killed by explosions. "Fuck!" yelled Pariah as one went off next to him. "You ok?" asked James. "Fine, Private, keep moving!" "Everyone move up, get out of the killzone! We gotta buy some time for those casevac birds!" said Foley as they exited the trenches. "Overlord, 2-1 Actual! We're screening west with no adjacent support, and friendly victors from BCT One are hauling ass past us, over!" said Foley. "We need support Overlord or we're mincemeat!" exclaimed Pariah "Roger. Brigade Combat Team One has already peeled off an LAV to provide suppression, over." "About damn time!" said Pariah They took cover at a wall and Ramirez thinned them with his sniper. "Hunter 2-1, Pariah Actual, this is Overlord. SEAL teams are maneuvering into position on the northwest corner of the target building. Link up with them on the top floor and eliminate enemy fire teams, over." "So we get SEAL support huh? better than nothing!" exclaimed Pariah as he fired from cover and hit some RPG's As they moved up to the front of the building an M2 Bradley IFV was firing at the upper floors, suppressing the enemy. "Fuck you!" yelled Pariah and jumped cover, shot at the upper floor hitting a few enemies and ran at a window, diving in and slitting a soldier's throat with his two fingers. "All right! BCT One's LAV has them suppressed! Get ready to move on my mark! Ready! Go go go! Move up! Move up!" yelled Foley. Pariah, as he fired at enemies, saw James dragging an injured soldier to cover. "What are you doing kid?" he asked, killed the last few and turned killing a few in the next room, suddenly an enemy was on the buildings steps, aiming for Ramirez before a burst fire hit him in the chest, neck and head. "Ramirez! Move up and stay out of that LAV's line of fire!" yelled Foley as Pariah put the M16 on his back with a strap and pulled his Desert Eagles out Under cover fire, they entered the Department of Commerce. "Move up! Go! Go!" said Foley, Pariah came up from behind and shot two enemies by the door and got his rifle, killing three more enemies, he shot one in the head, and in the leg three times which finished him and one in the chest and Ramirez and the marines took the rest out. "Use your grenade launchers! Move in!" said Foley. As Pariah thought it was over he walked forward and was hit in his armor with a bullet, he turned and saw enemy soldiers on the balcony, he backed up and shot them before diving behind cover next to Ramirez. "Shit!" said Pariah and huddled against the cover, leaning out to shoot every now and then. He stood up and ran at the balcony, used a desk for a height advantage and pulled himself up, crouching and tagging them, he hit one in the head, and another he sprayed their chest. "Tangos down." he said and jumped down by the hallway entrance. They passed the lobby into the hallway. "Overlord, this is Pariah 1-1 Actual, be advised, we are inside the building." said Pariah. "We are now heading to the upper floors." said Foley. "Roger, Overlord copies all." They engaged hostiles in the hallway, in a courtyard. "Fuck! no breaks for us." said Pariah and shot at the enemy blindly from the hip, killing about 2. "Tagged em'!" he exclaimed with a small laugh of victory, suddenly a bullet flew over him and hit the cover above his head. "Woah!" he laughed and leaned forward because of the impact, he stood up and held down the trigger, firing multiple burst shots and killing the last few. "Fire team has been suppressed in Section One-Alpha." "And it was a doozy." said Pariah "Solid copy, 1-1 & 2-1 Actual." They headed to the stairs and headed up. "Overlord, this is Pariah 1-1 Actual, we are nearly at the mezzanine." "Tell the LAV from BCT One to hold their fire, over." said Foley. "Copy that, 1-1 & 2-1, good hunting boys." said Overlord. "You heard the man, no mercy." said Pariah to the men behind him as they headed to the balconies. Pariah walked across the balcony weapon first and turned left sharply and gunned down three hostiles. They took cover behind a wall and Ramirez took out the last hostile and they moved on. "Hostiles suppressed in Section Two-Echo." said Pariah. "Roger that, 1-1." They moved up a pile of rubble up to the fourth floor, the damaged Capitol Building was seen out in the distance. "That's the freakin' Capitol Building, man." said Dunn "We'll pay the bastards back." said Pariah as they moved up. "Hunter 2-1 and Pariah 1-1, be advised, hostiles on the southwest corner of the fifth floor are hammering the evac site, over." "Roger Overlord, Pariah 1-1 moving to assist." "Solid copy, Overlord. We are Oscar Mike to the fifth floor with Pariah, out." They engaged more hostiles on the fourth floor and on a balcony across them, Ramirez planted C4 on a SAM site sitting outside just after the men pulled the tarpaulin and destroyed it, and the hostiles were eliminated as Pariah had his Desert Eagles and blasted 4 tangos in the chest, sending them flying. He got ammo from a drop and got his rifle, and shot in the window with Ramirez, taking out the 5 hostiles. "Enemy fire team eliminated in Section Four-Charlie." said Foley "Copy that, 2-1." They headed up the stairs to the fifth floor. "Overlord, We're on the fifth floor, proceeding to the southwest corner." "Copy that, Hunter 2-1." said Overlord. Shadows were seen across the hall. "I got movement." said Dunn, Pariah and Ramirez ran and caught three of them and Pariah killed them off. "Watch your sectors, check those corners." said Foley. We moved in the next room and Ramirez took out the 2 RPG scumbags and Pariah moved into the next room, taking out 2 mobile tangos and taking cover. We could hear a Ranger on the radio "Hunter 2-1 needs support." "We are leaving!" "Take out that BTR!" Pariah got up and blasted the enemy with repeated bursts, eventually all the hostiles were dead. "All Hunter units, I have a visual on the enemy's crow's nest on the southwest corner. Move forward and clear it out." said Foley. "This is Pariah, any other units in view of the crows nest, concentrate fire." We moved through the halls and saw a wall which we climbed and moved to the left, eyeing the crows nest entrance. Pariah threw a grenade at the wall, it bounced off and exploded, and they heard the enemies screams. They saw arms legs and head everywhere and Pariah executed them with his Deagle. "Overlord this is Hunter Two-One Actual. We have secured the enemy's crow's nest on the southwest corner." he said as Pariah moved from body to body pointing his gun and shooting where the head is. "Overlord copies all. The evac site at the Washington Monument reports several transports away, but they are still vulnerable. Can you provide support from your position, over?" "Yeah, we got shitload of Javelins over here and-" he cut off as he hoisted a soldier's body off of something it was slouched over. "A 50. cal rifle, which I'll man." he said and rolled the body out of the way, taking position. "We'll dig in and burn through their ammo! Out! Scan for targets to the south of the Washington Monument!" said Foley and Pariah directed the rifle. He shot one who was crouched and aimed the rifle just in front of a running guy and fired, killing him as he ran, he took out the rest accordingly. "All callsigns on this net, this is the Washington Monument Evac Site! We're holding our own but have glassed enemies to the west and are taking fire from that direction!" "1-1 & 2-1 be advised, you have enemy foot mobiles converging on your position...stay frosty." said Overlord "Hostiles in the perimeter! Open fire! Open fire!" said Dunn. "Keep em' off me, I need to reposition!" said Pariah and put the rifle on his back. "Taking fire! Taking fire! Foot mobiles in the perimeter!" said Dunn. Pariah got on a window and fired at the enemy, taking each out with a burst, one jumped the barricade as he reloaded and swung for him with a rifle butt, Pariah dodged and tripped the Ruski up, sending his face on a spike. "Hunter 2-1, Pariah 1-1, this is Overlord, recommend you clear outta there...I see a mass of foot-mobiles converging on your position..." said Overlord. "Hell no! I ain't leaving the men!" said Pariah and shot a couple last enemies before manning the sniper again on a wall and providing support for some troops. "Negative negative! I have eyes on enemy armor and helicopters advancing on the evac site from the south and southwest! Ramirez, use some of this ordinance to take out the enemy vehicles! Move! Ramirez! Take out those vehicles! The evac site is taking heavy fire! Enemy vehicles are closing in! Take 'em out!" Ramirez and his team grabbed Javelins and fired on enemy helicopters and BTRs, providing support for the evac site. "Hunter 2-1 and Pariah 1-1, you've bought the evac site valuable time! Well done! Now get your ass to the roof ASAP...you are in danger of being overrun!" said Overlord as Pariah shouldered the rifle with a spare strap. "Roger that, we're headed to the rooftop! Everyone, move out! Get to the roof and RV with the SEAL Team! Move! Move!" shouted Foley as they legged it. They began to evacuate from the crow's nest. A Ranger blew down a door with a shotgun. They headed up the stairs. At the second set of stairs, a Russian crashed in from the door and attacked. Ramirez killed him. The team moves around the balcony and climbed up the rubble to the roof. "We're out of time! Go!" "Hostiles closing in!" "We got Ivan on our ass!" yelled Pariah and turned and shot a few rounds. "Move up! Go! Go!" "There's no time! Get to the roof! Go! Go!" yelled Foley. They reached the rooftop where a Black Hawk was waiting. Russians were seen coming up from below and they jumped on, Ramirez mounting one gun and Pariah the other. "Hunter, this is Dagger Two-One. We are in position at the LZ on the rooftop, what's your status?" "We're on our way. Hostiles following close behind." said Foley. As they took off, across from them, a Russian helicopter fired its missiles but missed. A Ranger fired a Stinger and shot it down. Dagger Two-One took off and flew towards the Washington Monument. "Overlord, this is Pariah, we are on the chopper and away, we linked up with the SEALs, what is the current Monument situation? over." "Negative 1-1, they're still pinned down by infantry and light armor from the World War 2 Memorial. Doesn't look good from here, over!" said Overlord. "Shit... tell them to hold on Overlord, we'll give them fire support!" said Pariah "Overlord, we'll do what we can from the air, out!" said Foley to reinforce my point. "First wave of civilian transports are delayed. Reaper Two, proceed with second-stage evacuation. Authorized personnel only." Dagger Two-One flew towards the WWII Memorial. "Dagger Two, SAM launch! Break left break left!" said Dagger Two-One. SAM missiles were launched from the WWII Memorial, Little Bird Dagger Two-Two was shot down. "Overlord, Dagger Two-Two is hit and going down!" Dagger Two-One flew over and around the WWII Memorial. Ramirez had a shot of them and Pariah covered the forces on the road, he shot a group of them harassing the troops when Dagger did a 180* and left him facing the RPGs. "RPG teams at the World War 2 memorial...pull that trigger till they don't get up." said Dagger. "Roger!" he yelled over the machinegun fire as he blasted the positions, dagger did another 180* and Ramirez fired. Ramirez fired the minigun and obliterated everything at the Memorial, spraying at RPG teams and light armor vehicles. "Hammers Two-Three, Two-Four, and Two-Five are on the way. Ground units at LZ four, fall back now." An enemy Havoc took off from the Memorial. "Enemy gunship lifting off twelve o'clock, War Memorial." Pariah shot it's pilot and sprayed it's cockpit, taking it down. Ramirez continued to wipe out remaining enemies at the Memorial. "This is ... Two-Five at LZ one! ...(unclear)...I can't...we can't carry any more people! We're gonna have to leave some of them behind!" "Take as many as you can, and then some Two-Five!" yelled Pariah, he wasn't like Mercer, he saw human life as valuable, flawed but even Mercer and him were flawed... "Dagger Two, the Washington Monument is taking fire from the main road!" "On it!" said Pariah and blasted the main road, eliminating the enemies. "Overlord to all units, Evacuation Order April, I repeat, Evacuation Order April! Everyone get the hell outta there!" "Get your ass on that transport now! We are leaving!" SAM missiles were launched from the John F. Kennedy Department of Justice, shooting down Little Bird Dagger Two-Three and damaging them. "Overlord, we're hit, but still in the air. We've got a massive SAM battery at the Department of Justice...we're going in!" said Foley as Pariah and Ramirez fired at the RPGs inside the building. "We're losing attitude control!" "Hold it together pilot!" shouted Pariah. "Take us up! If we're going down, we're takin' those SAM sites with us!" said Foley. "Hell yeah! James, lets do this!" said Pariah. Dagger Two-One flew over the roof of the building. Ramirez and Pariah fired at the SAM battery, but the Russians launched their missiles. "SAM launch! Hang on!" Dagger Two-One was hit and started to spin towards the ground. "We're hit! Mayday mayday, this is Dagger Two-One. We are going down at grid square Papa Bravo 2..."and the copter crashed... -1 year later- As General Pariah prepared to test run a new way of delivering troops behind front lines, he was nervous even though he is not human. He hadn't used his powers because he wanted to know what it felt to be human, he was going to test his powers here, Russia, he was testing a new drop strategy, and he wasn't getting extracted until the invasion, he was told it was likely a one-way trip, but he needed to use his powers again, and seeing as the U.S have no allies in this part of Russia he could go wild, test some new viruses maybe? pave way for the invasion? "Ok, you're strapped in, good look Pariah 1-1." said Overlord. "Thanks Overlord, although I get the feeling you enjoy this..." said Pariah. "Maybe 1-1, maybe, but that's for me to know, and you to find out, over." he said as he was about to be dropped, the pilot shouted. "Alright you unlucky bastard! we got 10 seconds!" he yelled, "9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4 ,3 ,2 ,1, 0!" he yelled and Pariah was dropped. The greater the power, the more dangerous the abuse.As Pariah dropped from the plane, he curled himself up to slow his fall a little, what he saw unnerved him... he was above a forest... Luckily he had dropped with his survival backpack, plenty of MREs and camp supplies. And above him, the plane was missing, not necessarily good... Suddenly the voice said: "20,000ft" what? it should be much higher... "Fuck!" he yelled and pulled his chute, he landed just outside of the forest, and burnt the chute so no enemy would see it. "Ok... time to move." he said and got his M16 ready, with his 50.cal sniper he carried on his back ever since Washionton, which had come in handy more then once. He moved through the woodland, it was a rather nice forest... to nice... pastel, come to think of it... "This ain't Russia." he said and put his M16 on his back and took his face mask down so it was around his neck like a neck warmer. He saw a cottage in the distance. "Hmm, see if anybody's home..." he said and approached, before he could knock, he saw a note on the door. 'To whomever it may concern' 'Gone out, preparing for Summer Sun Celebration, please try to find me there... if you don't mind...' 'Fluttershy' And it was signed with three butterflies... "Pariah, you are not in Kansas anymore..." said Pariah, he must have landed... somewhere else... "Overlord this is Pariah Actual, I am not at DZ, repeat not at Drop Zone, how copy?" *static* "Overlord, this is Pariah 1-1 Actual, Callsign: Hemorrhage, I repeat, not at DZ, have landed... somewhere else, how copy? over." he said Nothing... "Well this is a giant bag of balls!" exclaimed Pariah, and a rabbit approached him. "Hey buddy, don't suppose you know where civilization is? I'm kinda lost." he said. Suddenly the bunny gave a look of sympathy and patted his boot and pointed toward some smoke stacks- oh, smoke stacks... embarassing... "Thanks buddy, have some... chocolate?" he asked and unwrapped a candy bar, the bunny eagerly nodded his head and grasped it, seemingly muttering "Thank you." before hopping off in joy. "I'm going crazy." he said and took his helmet off, revealing his slicked back hair. He put it in his backpack and kept walking toward the smoke. Suddenly he felt a rush of air and looked u- THE FUCK?! A fucking. flying. motherfucking. chariot. overhead pulled by two winged... horses? Son of a bitch... He got to the town before it as it passed over once to come in for a landing. He crouched on a hill outside and looked down two binoculars at the townsfolk... Fuck his life... Horses... everywhere... he even heard talking and made out a few words... Hmm, time for something unconventional... If he could just picture himself... It had been a while since he'd used his powers. Perfect! He looked himself over... he had two silver shoes on... made of literal silver, a giant goddamn horn and two giant goddamn wings, and a dna strand on his ass. Oh well, better to blend in... Suddenly he heard a scream, faint but for his senses, clear as a bell. He headed toward it and saw a mauled pony, by some kind of animal. He crouched over the pony, a unicorn... "Please..." groaned the pony. "Thank you." he replied, the pony looked confused before seeing tendrils attach to his body and absorb him. Nothing could have been done for him, he was dead, and now Pariah knew how to do magic, well basics at least. He headed back to town with his new knowledge, unfortunately some of the ponies memories were clouded due to his state before consumption. As he walked, he saw what he must assume is the town hall... He entered and saw a young mare sitting behind a desk. "Ahem, I was wonderin-" he stopped when she gasped and bowed... "Your majesty!" she said. "Err what?" he asked. "You are an Alicorn! you must be royalty!" exclaimed the mare... hang on... the wings... the horn, no other horse had both... "Err, yeah, but not from here, I have travelled a great distance, I seek a normal life, I was wondering about accommodation here..." he said. "Well, you can take the library! it is the Golden Oak in the middle of town! just have it, you have traveled a long way, I'm sure Mayor Mare won't mind, with that pack, I assume you have traveled quite the distance." smiled the secretary and grabbed the keys in her mouth, suddenly on instinct he took the magic in a red misty aura. "Grazie." he said to make himself sound foreign. "Oh my, is that your language?" asked the mare. "Si- err yes, ahem." he coughed and walked out. Suddenly he jumped and back flipped out of the way of the chariot that landed where he was stood, he used his new wings to make it seem like it was them that did it, and not his natural jumping ability. "Guys! watch out! you nearly hit somepony!" said a male voice from the chariot. "Sorry... sir... we needed... to land..." panted the horse driving it, he looked to be military judging by his armor. "At ease son." said Pariah and lifted the harness off of him with his teeth. "Thanks... sir..." said the horse and immediately bowed. "I'm not royalty from around here dude, just here to live life." he said and the guard straightened up. "I'm sorry they almost hit you, if you'd like to file a complaint, don't hesitate." said a purple horse who looked like her dragon... ok, I'm going to ignore the dragon factor, but by the way she looked back at him he had forced her to say sorry. "I'd like to file a complaint that you're scaly friend there is making you apologise, when it wasn't your fault." said Pariah and it brought a smile to her face, which looked cute... "That can be arranged." she said. "What's your name sweetcheeks?" he asked. "Twilight, Twilight Sparkle, and yours?" she asked with a blush, now noticing his wings and horn. Considering her name he would have to choose carefully... "Pariah, my name is Pariah." he said, his given name was perfect! "Pariah? what an exotic name, are you royalty?" asked Twilight. "Was, at one time, then I decided to escape, I was a soldier fighting a war for a few years." he said. "War? there hasn't been war in Equestria for 1000 years..." said Twilight. "It wasn't here, it was far away, I've been trying to get away from that life." said Pariah as they walked. -Pariah's POV- "Twilight, you need to try with ponies." said Spike as a pink pony appeared out of thin air. "Hello" said Twilight after a deep breath to the pink pony. The pink one took in a massive breath and flew off, I had to do the horse- err pony limbo to avoid her. "Well, that was interesting alright..." she said. "Anyway... I am new here as well, may I accompany you for the time being?" I said as I recovered from my Hermes-like limbo. "Very well, follow me" she said and walked away. The dragon sighed and we followed her. "So, what exactly are we doing?" I asked. "Preparing for the annual Summer Sun Celebration." she said as I walked beside her, I glanced at her. "Rrrriiiigghhhhhttt." I said like Kronk from the Emperor's New Groove. She sighed. "It is the legend of the Mare in the Moon, who is set to return and bring everlasting night "on the longest day of the thousandth year"–the summer solstice–since her defeat, which is also the thousandth year of the Summer Sun Celebration. Princess Celestia, Nightmare Moon may have been imprisoned for a thousand years, It is a celebration of Celestia imprisoning her and restoring the sun to Equestria." said Twilight. "If you believe the legends." said Spike. "Something I've learned? always believe the legends." I said. "So you believe me?" asked Twilight. "Look, I've found some strange things during my time here, if magic exists, why can't this tale be real?" I asked. "I suppose..." said Twilight. Suddenly I saw something which caught my eye There was a magazine article with the front page as a picture of Celestia walking to the palace. I shook my head and concentrated on what the dragon was saying. "The summer sun celebration official overseer's checklist! 1# banquet preparations-Sweet Apple Acres." said the dragon as we approached the place aforementioned. "That name tho." I said. "Yeehah!" came a voice. We turned and saw an orange pony running at a tree. "I tried that once... it left a dent in the tree and my head." I said as it made me recall when I was testing the viruses limits. "That must've hurt." said the dragon. "You don't say." said Twilight. She bucked a tree and all the apples fell into baskets. "Haha, I wish that's what happened when I did it." I chuckled, the tree fell over when I did it... and traveled a few hundred yards... "Let's get this over with." sighed Twilight. "Right away ma'am." I said as we approached the mare. "Good afternoon, my name is Twilight Sparkle." she said. "I'm Pariah." I said nonchalantly. She shook both our hand/hoof suddenly. "Well, howdy do, mrs. Twilight, mr. Pariah, pleasure making your acquaintance." "Howdy, girl, good to see someone else who talks like this." I said in the same accent, I consumed people all around the world, you pick up accents, what can I say? "I'm Applejack, we here at Sweet Acres sure like making new friends- sheesh, your hoof is warm!" she said, the virus increaded my body heat quite a bit if I remember, I turned down my body temp to normal. "Always nice to meet someon- err somepony new." I said, still getting used to this. "say, what're you?" she asked. "Alicorn, not from here." I said. "I see that." she said. "Err, friends? actuallllllyyyyy I err-" she said as she was still shaking us. "So, what can I do you for?" she asked. Both our hands/hoofs were still shaking. I grabbed my arm to steady it and it fell to my side. Twilight smiled awkwardly and Spike grabbed her hoof and it stopped. She glared at him and he chuckled. "Well honey, we're lookin for some apples, an' we hear yours are the best around." I said in the accent. "Ahem, yes, we're in fact here to supervise preparations for the summer sun celebration." said Twilight. "Err, that, you're in charge of the food darlin'?" I said. "We sure are, sir, would you err, like to sample some?" she blushed. "Please, as long as it doesn't take to long." I said as she rushed away and rang a bell. "Souuuuup's on everypony!" she called. Suddenly we were almost trampled by a lot of ponies. We came to at a table and Applejack popped up next to us. "Now, how bout' I introduce y'all to the Apple family?" she said. Suddenly there were at least 17 ponies around us. "Stereotypes much?" I mumbled. "Thanks, but we really need to hurry-" started Twilight as a pie was thrust in her face. "This here's Apple Fritter, Apple Bumpkin, Red Gala, Red Delicious, Caramel Apple..." after that I lost count as the dishes piled up until she said. "Big Mcintosh, Apple Bloom aaaannnnnd, Granny Smith, up and at em' Granny Smith, we got guests." she finished as she put an apple in Twilights mouth and put one in my hoof. The granny stirred. "Err, what? Im'a comin." she said. "Look, it's like you're already part of the family!" she exclaimed. Twilight spat out the apple and I rubbed mine on my chest and took a bite. "I'm usually a meat guy, but damn this is a good apple" I said, making sure to keep the 'meat' part on the down-low, it was good... ot the human part of me, but the goodness lasted 2 seconds before it turned to ash in my mouth... "Well, I can see the food situation is handled, so err, we'll be on our way." said Twilight. I finished my apple and disintegrated the core. "Aww, aren't you gonna stay for brunch?" asked a small pony who blinked her eyes a couple times. "Sorry but, we have an awful lot to do." said Twilight. "Aww." said everypony. "Hey don't y'all worry, I'm a sure we'll see y'all round." I said. "Fine." said Twilight finally. Everypony cheered, Twilight looked less than impressed. We had apple... everything basically. Come around midday we were stuffed. "That was amazing, I hadn't realised it'd been so long since I'd eaten," I said. "What's amazing? the food? or Applejack?" asked Twilight, teasing me. "Quiet you." I said. I suddenly noticed Twilight lagging We got to the top of the hill and Spike announced. "That's the food taken care of, next is weather." said Spike. "Ugghh, I ate too much pie." she groaned. "One can never have to much pie." I said. "Yeah right..." said Twilight. "Weather? look up?" I asked. "No! the Pegsi ,should clear the sky." said Spike. "Come again?" I asked. "Who controls the weather where you're from?" asked Spike. "The weather moves on it's own, we must bear the elements, rain, sleet or shine." I said. "That sounds scary! and dangerous!" said Spike. "Can be." I said. "Hmm, there's supposed to be a Pegasus pony named Rainbow Dash clearing the clouds." said Spike. "Well, she's not doing a very good job is she?" asked Twilight as she was thrown into the mud by Rainbow Dash. "Youch, you ok?" I chuckled. "Err, excuse me?" laughed the pegasus as I helped Twilight up. "Haha, damn!" I said. "Let me help you." said Rainbow Dash, amusement evident in her voice. She moved a rain cloud above her and bounced on it until the rain was gone from it. Twilight looked less happy now she was wet. "Oops, I guess I overdid it, how about this? my very own rainblow dry." she said and encircled Twilight quickly. "Hello, dirt pile? pile of dirt? dirt? I'm looking for some dirt, have you seen some dirt? it's about yea high, kinda looks like dirt, hello? dirt? hey someone took away this dirt! where'd all the dirt go? well, I better check with this dirt over here, hey! have you seen some dirt!? it looked pretty brown and was earthy, kinda like dirt, goes by the name of earth if you've ever heard of it before, also known as dirt... it's in the ground, it actually IS the ground have you seen it? ground, dirt? really fine powdery dirt? have you seen it? a dirt pile? it's in a pile, well not really, it's kinda flat, but it's dirt, have you seen it? no? well fuck you then!" I said. "No no, no need to thank me, you're quite welcome." she said. "Nice afro, suits you." I said as Twilight's hair was puffed up and me and Rainbow Dash laughed, I never unserstood how they couldn't change their hairstyles at will like me. "Haha!" we both laughed, she fell over in laughter as did Spike. "Lighten up." I said as I saw the unamusement on her face. "Let me guess, you're Rainbow Dash?" asked Twilight. "THE one and only." she said and stood up proudly with a hoof on her chest. "Ego much?" I asked. "Why? you heard of me?" she asked. "We heard that you're supposed to be keeping the sky clear." she said and sighed. "Names Pariah, professional comedian and one of the only current Alicorns in Equestria." I bowed with sarcasm in my voice "Tell me a joke then." said Rainbow Dash. "this is the story of four people named Everypony, Somepony, Anypony and Nopony, there was an important job to be done and Everypony was asked to do it, Anypony could've done it but Nopony did it, Somepony got angry about that because it was Everypony's job, Everypony thought Anypony could do it but Nopony realized that Everypony wouldn't do it, Consequently, it wound up that Nopony told Anypony, so Everypony blamed Somepony." I said, mastered the art of using 'pony' instead of 'body' hah! She burst out laughing. "I'm Twilight Sparkle and the Princess sent me to check on the weather, Pariah is new as well, so he' tagging along." she said. "Yeah yeah, that'll be a snap, I'll do it in a jiffy, just as soon as I'm done practising." she said. "Practising for what?" asked Twilight. "I knew there was a bloody catch, just once I'd like to just ask someone for help and for them to say 'sure, let's go, right now! no strings attached! sweet Celestia...'" I said using a curse I'd heard more than once. "The Wonderbolts!" she said and pointed to poster of a group of ponies. "They're gonna perform at the celebration tomorrow! and I'm gonna show em' my stuff!" she exclaimed. "That's... one way to get what you want." I said with a grin. "What?" she asked. "Nevermind." I said. "Wait... THE Wonderbolts?" asked Twilight. "Yep." replied Rainbow. "The most talented flyers in all of Equestria?" she asked again. "Thats them." she replied. "Please, they'd never accept a pegasus who can't even keep the sky clear for one measly day." said Twilight. "Clever." I whispered and she winked at me. "Hey! I could clear this sky in ten seconds flat." she said. "Go on then, prove it, I'll time ya." I said. She then darted around clearing clouds. She finished and hovered in front of us. "What'd I say? ten seconds flat, I'd never leave Ponyville hangin'." she said. "Actually it was 9 but good try." I said. "Haha, you should see the look on your face." said Rainbow Dash to Twilight and Spike. "She's right, that surprise tho." I laughed. "Ha! you're a laugh Twilight Sparkle, and Pariah you're a funny, err... pony I guess? oh well, I can't wait to hang out some more!" she said. "Count on it." I said as she flew away. "Wow! she's amazing!" said Spike. "Why not marry her?" I asked. "Because err..." he started. "Nah, I'm just messin' with you." I said. He flicked Twilights new afro and laughed. She walked away. "Wait! it's kinda pretty once you get used to it!" he said. "That's true, it really does look pretty on you..." I said as we entered the tailors. "Pretty?" asked Twilight and I stopped in realisation of what I said. "Decoration! beautiful..." sighed Spike. "True dat, very intricate designs." I said. "Yes, the decor is coming along nicely, this oughta be quick." said Twilight. "I don't think anything will ever be as pretty as- err nevermind let's just check on this." I said. "You were going to say Twilight!" teased Spike. "I was not!" I protested. "Anyway, I'll be at the library in no time." said Twilight, ignoring our little argument. "Ok." I said, I'd chat with her about the library later. "Well, it is beautiful indeed." agreed Twilight. "Not the decor, her..." sighed Spike. "Dude, mutual respect, +1 for interspecies relationships, hell ya!" I said. "No, no, no, no, oh! goodness no" said the white pony. "How are my spines? are they straight?" he asked. "Spot on dude, be smooth, suave, and don't be too obvious." I said. "Good afternoon-" started Twilight, who'd let us gents talk. We caught up "Just a moment please! I'm in the zone, as it were, oh, yes! sparkle always does the trick, does it not? why, Rarity, you are a talent, now, um, how can I help yo- oh my stars, darling! whatever happened to your coiffure?!" she asked. "Oh you mean my mane? oh well, it's a long story, we're just here to check on the decorations, and then we'll be out of your hair." "Or coiffure, as it were, respectively." I added. "And my! what nice shoes you have adorned around your hooves!" she said to me. "Oh, what? this? something from my homeland, anyway we'll be out of your-" I started. "Out of my hair? what about your hair?" she asked Twilight. "I think it suits her, although it is messy." I said as Rarity pushed Twilight. "Wait, where are we going? help!" she said. "Dude, if you want her, you need to speak up, ask her out, and stop staring." I said as I turned his head to face me. "But I can't!" he said. "Try, I can barely control myself around... a certain pony, I feel like I want to just kiss her and confess my love, although I doubt she'd ever return it, and I don't care as long as she's happy." I said as we followed them, I exaggerated a little but still... "So what do I do?" he asked, not asking me who I meant luckily. "Talk to the mare, it's gonna be a helluva lot easier for you to ask her out than me asking mine, find out what she likes, be interesting, keep her happy and you'll do fine, it doesn't have to be now, you could try later, get used to this new feeling first, work it out with yourself, decide how you want to proceed." I told him. "Thanks." he said. "No problem." I said as we entered a building. "No, no uh uh, too green, to yellow, too poofy, not poofy enough, too frilly, too... shiny, now go on, my dears, you were telling me where you're from." said Rarity as she pulled...I think it was a corset out. Ouch... "I've... been... sent... from... Canterlot... to-" she started before Rarity let go and she went flying. "Are you ok? that corset... youch" I chuckled. "Canterlot!" exclaimed Rarity. "Not me." I said. "Oh, I'm so envious, the glamour, the sophistication, I've always dreamed of living there!" she said. "sophisticated? sounds nice." I said. "Nice? nice?! it's perfect! I can't wait to hear all about it!" she said. "Uh huh." I said. "We're going to be the best of friends, you, you and I." she said and got in between me and Twilight. "Err, sure…" I said. "Emeralds?! what was I thinking? let me get you some rubies!" she said and ran off. "Quick! before she decides to dye my coat a new colour!" exclaimed Twilight and we ran. Spike sighed in happiness. We ran out and I chuckled. "Dude, I think you're on the level of smitten, it's a really nice feeling, isn't it?" I asked, he was lollygagging so I put him on Twilights back, who didn't mind. "Yeah, wasn't she wonderful?" asked Spike to himself more than us. "Focus Casanova, what's next on the list?" asked Twilight. "You know Casanova was famed for mainly his sexual exploits? and Casanova once played the card game piquet for 42 hours without a break." I informed. Twilight blushed at the first part... she looked nice with that blush... "Really? wow, anyway, err, music! it's the last one!" exclaimed Spike. Suddenly we stopped as we heard whistling. We entered a clearing and a yellow pegasus was hovering in front of some birds that were the source of the singing. "Oh my, err stop please everyone." she said and flew up to a blue bird. "Not bad..." I mumbled. "Excuse me sir, no offence but your rhythm is just a teenie, tiny bit off." she said. 'She knows her music' I thought. "Follow me please, a 1, 2 3-" she cut off. "Hello!" said Twilight and scared the girl and the birds out of their minds. "Hi there." I said. "Oh my, I'm so sorry, we didn't mean to frighten your birds." said Twilight. "We?" I asked. "Me, I didn't." she sighed. "Nice orchestra, almost perfect harmony, one more practise and it'll be perfecto." I said. "Yeah, we're here to check on the music and it's sounding beautiful." said Twilight. "Now, I may have heard better music in different styles, but not from anything like that, I've always loved listening to birds sing in the morning." I said as she landed. She kicked the dirt nervously for a second. Twilight smiled and shifted her eyes awkwardly. "I'm Twilight Sparkle." "Pariah." I said. She looked quite nervous. "What's your name?" she asked. "Errm, I'm Fluttershy" she said quietly, my enhanced hearing allowing me to hear it perfectly. 'A... weirdly fitting name, but a nice name nonetheless' I thought. "I'm sorry, what was that?" asked Twilight. "Err, my name is Fluttershy." she mumbled and backed away. "Didn't quite catch that." said Twilight. She seemed to call the birds back, that or she whimpered. "Well, errm it looks like your birds are back, so I guess everything's in order." she said. "Looks eccezionale(awesome) to me" I said. "Keep up the good work." said Twilight as we walked away. She just whimpered again. "Ok... well, that was easy." said Twilight as Spike approached. Suddenly the girl jumped up. "A baby dragon!" she exclaimed and flew over, knocking Twilight over. I hit the D.E.C.K! "I've never seen a baby dragon before! oh he's so cute" she said. Spike looked away to Twilight. "Well, well, well." he said as I helped Twilight up and she thanked me. "Oh my, he talks? I didn't know dragons could talk!" she said. "Do rahlo nust tinvaak." I said in a deep tongue, one guy I consumed learned Dovahzul from Skyrim, plus I was born in the year of the dragon. "Was that ancient dragon?" asked Spike. "Yep, learnt it a while back." I said. "This is just so incredibly wonderful, I- I just don't even know what to say." she said. Twilight picked Spike up with magic and put him on her back. "Wait! what's his name?" "Zeik." I replied in dragon. "Hah, I'm Spike." he said. "Hi Spike, I'm Fluttershy, wow a talking dragon, and what do dragons talk about?" she replied. "Well, what do you wanna know?" he asked. "Absolutely everything!" she replied. Twilight sighed and I interjected certain things about them that Spike didn't know. "How do you know so much about them anyway?" she asked. "I was born in the year of the Dragon in my country, where a different country celebrates certain years based on an animal, I was always interested in dragons so I know quite a lot." I explained. -An hour later- "And that's the story of my whole entire life, well, up until today... do you wanna hear about today?" he asked. "Oh, yes please." she said, as we approached the library. Twilight did a 180 and said: "I'm sorry but how did we get here so fast? this is where I'm staying in Ponyville, and my poor baby dragon needs his sleep." "Hold on, you're staying? I was given the library to stay as well..." I said. "We'll sort it out, after we've got Spike into bed, he needs his little sleep." "No I don'- woah!" he said as she launched him off her back. "Aww look at that, he's so sleepy he can't even keep his little balance." she said in a childlike voice. "Poor thing, you simply must get him to bed." said Fluttershy and flew him in. I walked in as well. "Yes yes, we'll get right on that, well, goodnight!" she said, and slammed the door. "Huh, rude much?" asked Spike. "Sorry, but I have to convince the Princess that Nightmare Moon is coming." said Twilight. "Wait what? Nightmare Moon?" I asked. "Yes its a-" "Yes, yes I know the story, you told me, you seem ok, and I believe you." I said. "I have to convince the Princess that Nightmare Moon is coming, and we're running out of time! I just need to be alone so I can study without a bunch of crazy ponies trying to make friends all the time, now, where's the light?" she asked, but I stopped her. "There's somepony in here with us..." I said, when the light suddenly flipped "Surprise!" "Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie, and I threw this party just for you! were you surprised? were ya? were ya? huh huh huh?" she said and jumped a little close for comfort. "Yeah, ok, 1. don't run me up, 2. please don't EVER do that again, or I might either die from shock or punch one of you in the face on instinct." "Sorry! what about you?" she asked Twilight. "Very surprised, libraries are supposed to be quiet." she said, I was getting tired of this trying to be friendly bullcrap. "Well, that's silly! what kind of welcome party would this be if it were quiet? I mean, duh, bo-ring! y'see, I saw you when you first got here, remember? you were all 'hello' and I was all *gasp* remember? y'see I've never saw you before and if I've never saw you before that means you're new, 'cause I know everypony, and I mean everypony in Ponyville!" "God, would you shut up!?" I exclaimed, making everypony stop. "Sorry, headache, kinda on the grouchy side." I lied, I was reverting back to my old thinking, mortals... Twilight groaned and poured a drink. "Anyway, and if you're new, that meant you haven't met anyone yet, and if you haven't met anyone yet, you must not have any friends, and if you don't have any friends then you must be lonely, and that made me so sad, then I had an idea, and that's why I went *gasp!* I must throw a great big ginormous super-duper spectacular welcome party and invite everyone in Ponyville! see? and now you have lots and lots of friends!" she said, and I started to climb the stairs to bed, I usually just go into my mind and find amusing memories, it's the closest I get to sleep. Suddenly Twilights face went red and she had tears forming in her eyes. "Are you alright, sugarcube?" asked AJ. "Aww, she's so happy she's crying!" said Pinkie as Twilight ran upstairs past me and I went to see if she's alright. "Hot sauce, ooh..." said Spike. I found her pouring water down her throat and I picked up a bottle of milk. "Try this." I said and she gulped it. "Ahhh..." she sighed in relief. "One bed? bollocks..." I mumbled as I dropped my backpack in the corner of the room. "So, you believe me?" asked Twilight. "Yeah, I do." I confirmed as we sat on the bed. "Thanks, not many ponies do..." said Twilight. "Maybe because I'm not a pony..." I said. "What?" asked Twilight. "Ok, promise you won't freak." I said. "Promise." she smiled and I took away my pony form, revealing me in my marine spec ops gear. "Here." I said and she gawked at me. "Wha-" she was at a loss for words. "I'm a hum- a Runner, a race of bipedal people." I said as vaguely as possible. "Wow, can I ask you some questions later?" she asked with a cute yawn. "Yeah sure, I'll sleep on the floor." I said and got down. "Err... you don't have to... you could... climb in here with me, I mean this house is both of ours." she said. "Ok..." I said and got in, Twilight insisted I be the 'big spoon' even though I was on the other side of the bed... -a few hours later- "Hey Twilight! Pinkie Pie's starting 'pin the tail on the pony'! wanna play?" asked Spike as he burst in, I quickly switched forms, and removed my arm from Twilight's midsection, it appeared I had draped an arm over Twilight in my 'sleep' "No! all the ponies in this town are crazy! do you know what time it is?!" she asked. "About a quarter past 9, why?" I asked and fell back in bed and she pushed me down with a slight smile. "It's the eve of the Summer Sun Celebration, everypony has to stay up, or they'll miss the Princess raise the sun! you really should lighten up, Twilight, It's a party! I'll leave you alone for a second." he said, referring to me and Twilight sharing a bed. I got up stretched. "Sorry, next time I'll lock the door to save you the embarrassment." "It's fine, ugh, here I thought I'd have time to learn about the Elements of Harmony but, silly me, all this ridiculous friend-making has kept me from it! 'Legend has it that on the longest day of the thousandth year, the stars will aid in her escape, and she will bring about everlasting night' I hope the Princess was right... I hope it really is just an old ponytale..." she said "Look Twi, I've seen some messed up stuff, enough that I believe you, but you should just relax, nothing you can do about it now, try to have fun, the time comes, I'll have your back." I said. "Thanks." she said half heartedly. "It's fine..." suddenly I noticed how beautiful Twilight looked in the moonlight... We both leaned in close... our lips almost touched. "C'mon, guys, it's time to watch the sunrise!" said Spike, snapping us out of it. "Yeah, we're a' comin'" I said and me and Twilight made eye contact for a second before looking away... damn it no! I'm a virus! an immortal virus! beyond life and death! I have no need for... love... My thoughts plagued me as we walked out to the town hall. "I can't wait to see the Princess!" I said to keep enthusiasm up. "She'll be glad to meet you, if you plan on telling her." said Twilight nervously... I would have to I suppose. "I will." "And maybe she can kick your flank for trying to kiss me." said Twilight, humour in her words but a deadpan expression. I rolled my eyes and entered the Town Hall with the others. "Isn't this exciting? are you excited, 'cause I'm excited, I've never been so excited- well, except for the time that I saw you walking into town and I went *gasp* but I mean really, who can top that?" asked Pinkie Pie in the crowd as the fanfare started. "Fillies and gentlecolts, as mayor of Ponyville, it is my great pleasure to announce the beginning of the Summer Sun Celebration!" said the mayor. Everypony cheered. "Ready, I have a bad feeling..." said Twilight. I nodded. "In just a few moments, our town will witness the magic of the sunrise, and celebrate this, the longest day of the year! and now, it is my great honor to introduce to you the ruler of our land, the very pony who gives us the sun and the moon each and every day, the good, the wise, the bringer of harmony to all of Equestria..." she introduced. Where is she? I don't sense a heartbeat, o a thermal signature behind the- oh wait, I got one.. a big swirling one... "Princess Celestia!" announced the mayor as Rarity pulled the curtains back to reveal nothing... Everypony gasped. "Oh fuck me." I said. "This... can't be good." said Twilight. "Remain calm everypony there must be a reasonable explanation." said the mayor. I sighed . "You don't say Twi." I murmured. "Oh oh! I love guessing games, is she hiding?" asked Pinkie. Suddenly the few guards on the balcony had disappeared. "She's gone!" said Rarity. Everypony gasped and I face~~palmed~~ hooved. "Oh, she's goooood." said Pinkie before screaming as a blue mist surrounded the balcony, the signature I saw before... "It's times like this I feel like I should panic, but I don't have the energy." I said, I had my confidence now. "Oh, no, Nightmare Moon..." said Twilight as a navy blue, bordering on black pony with a glowing blue mane appeared. I whistled as Spike fainted. "Damn, she huge!" I said she wasn't a big as me but still "Oh, my beloved subjects, it's been so long since I've seen your precious little sun loving faces." I burst out laughing. "Ya know, it's funny because she's trying to sound scary but she just sounds like a stuck up bitch!" I said while laughing. "Oh, what is this? a fellow Alicorn? a male Alicorn?" she asked while looking at me " 'That' is something which finds this whole situation to be funny as hell! hey, what do you call a sister who refused to lower the moon? Lunacy!" I said as I ROTFLOL'd. She just sighed. "What did you do with our Princess?" asked Rainbow Dash and attempted to fly at her while Applejack held her tail. "Woah there Nelly." she mumbled. "Head, or tail?" I asked as my laughter died down. She laughed evilly. "Why? am I not royal enough for you?" she asked. "Yeah, a royal pain in the ass!" I chuckled. She flew directly in front of me while everyone backed away and I just stood there as my hair was blown back. I flicked a speck of dust off my shoulder as best I could with a hoof, she was studying me. "I'm not deaf, I could've heard you if you'd stayed up there, plus you get much better acoustics so the whole crowd can hear you." I said. She growled. "Ohh, scary!" I said. "Stop mocking me!" she shouted. "Listen sister, I spent a week inside a locked room pumped full of hallucinogenic mushrooms, acid and ecstasy, in an attempt to turn me against my frineds, if you think a large blue horse is going to scare me, you need to REALLY try hard." I said simply. She flew back up with a growl. "Don't you know who I am?" she asked. "Moe Greene?" I asked. "Oh oh more guessing games, ummm... Hokey Smokes! how about... Queen Meanie! no! Black Snooty, Black Snooty-" started Pinkie as AJ put an apple in her mouth. "Does my crown no longer count now that I've been imprisoned for a thousand years, did you not recall the legend? did you not see the signs?" she asked. "This sign says 'gtfo' hmm, how bout that? and not lowering the moon tends to have an affect on the legitimacy of your 'crown' which you don't even have on your head." I said sarcastically. "I'm sick of your japes and jives!" she said and pressed her face against mine menacingly as I jumped up to her balcony. "Great. minds. think. alike." I growled as I stared her down. "Hmm" she said, surveying me. "Try to read me all you want love, I've also practised the art of pissing people off/creeping them out by staring them down with a blank expression, if you think you can scare me in any way, go back to the moon, then again having you on it, I feel sorry for the moon, the last thousand years must've been torture having to look at your ugly muzzle for a thousand years, eugh." I said. She was about ready to explode. "I read the signs, I know who you are." said Twilight. We both shifted our heads to look at her. "I win" I smiled as she blinked, losing the staring contest. She just ignored me. "yYou're the mare in the moon... Nightmare Moon" she said as everypony gasped. "Really? you're all surprised? how dumb can you be? I mean, jeez!" I said as I jumped back down. "Well well well, we have someponies who know me." "I'm, not, a fucking... pony!" I murmured. "Well, you and somepony then, but you both know why I'm here." she said. "You're here, to... to..." she said and gulped. NM did a evil laugh. "What was that? that was a pathetic evil laugh, no, it's more like this: muhuhahahaha!" I said as my face darkened. "Remember this day little ponies, for it was your last, from this moment forth the night will last... forever!" she said and shouted it to the clouds, while lightning struck and she laughed again. "I've a few problems with that speech, 1. I AM NOT A MOTHERFUCKING FOUR LEGGED LONG NOSED CUDDLY FUCK MAGIC PONY THAT LIKES ALL THINGS MAGICAL AND BRIGHT!" a I yelled that I turned into my original form, with my marine gear. "What are you?" asked Nightmare Moon. "2. you can't remember something if it's your last day and you used 'was' in the wrong way as well 'for it will be' is the correct usage 3. work on the evil laugh, it just sounds... off... and was with that dramatic end to that speech? no, I mean seriously... it wasn't even needed, why the echo and thunder? seriously?" I asked Everypony was staring at me. "What?" I asked. God in Equestria"Wha- what?! you- you're..." stuttered Twilight. "What? I told you!" I said. "I thought I was imagining it..." groaned Twilight. "Seize her! Only she knows where the Princess is!" shouted the mayor. "Stand back, you foals!" shouted Nightmare and blasted the guards with lightening. On her way out she made sure to hit me in the balls, although it didn't hurt because I don't technically have balls. "Come back here! Nighttime? Forever? Where're they going?" asked Rainbow as I ran with Twilight who was twitching. We got to the Golden Oaks library and Twilight put Spike to bed. "Uh... We gotta stop Nightmare!..." he mumbled before falling asleep. "You've been up all night, Spike. You are a baby dragon after all." said Twilight. "So... Nightmare Moon, just when I thought I saw it all." I chuckled. "Well, at least I'm not crazy..." said Twilight. "Yep, let's get to looking." I said. "You should sleep to." said Twilight. "I'll sleep when I'm dead." I answered. "Elements, elements, elements... Ugh! How can I stop Nightmare Moon without the Elements of Harmony?" asked Twilight. "Me." I replied darkly as I climbed a ladder. "What do you mean?" asked Twilight. "Nothing... hey look! 50 Shades Of Pinkie P- eww... RD comin' in 3'o clock." I said and climbed back down. "And just what are the Elements of Harmony? And how did you know about Nightmare Moon, huh? Are you spies?" asked RD but AJ pulled her back. "Simmer down, Sally. They ain't no spies. But they sure know what's going on. Don't you, guys?" asked AJ. "She does." I pointed to Twilight. "I read all about the prediction of Nightmare Moon. Some mysterious objects called the Elements of Harmony are the only things that can stop her, but I don't know what they are, where to find them; I don't even know what they do!" exclaimed Twilight. " 'The Elements of Harmony: A Reference Guide.'!" exclaimed Pinkie. "How did you find that?!" asked Twilight. "It was under "E"!" sang Pinkie. "Oh. There are six Elements of Harmony, but only five are known: Kindness, Laughter, Generosity, Honesty and Loyalty. The sixth is a complete mystery. It is said, the last known location of the five elements was in the ancient castle of the royal pony sisters. It is located in what is now-" "The Everfree Forest!" exclaimed everypony. "It's a forest..." I said. "He's right! Whee! Let's go!" exclaimed Pinkie. "Not so fast. Look, I appreciate the offer, but I'd really rather do this on my own." said Twilight. "No, I need something to stretch the old biomass!" I chuckled. "No can do, sugarcube. We sure ain't lettin' any friend of ours go into that creepy place alone. We're stickin' to you like caramel on a candy apple." said AJ. "Especially if there's candy apples in there. What? Those things are good." said Pinkie, that one is a mystery... Twilight sighed. "I know, I sometimes like to do things on my own." I said and we walked after them. As we walked I went ahead and felt eyes on me. "I have a nice ass don't I?" I chuckled. "No, it;s ju- what are you?" asked Rainbow, earning a stare from everypony else. "A Runner, Pariah, that's all I'll say for now." I said and walked next to them. "So you're an alien?" asked PInkie and popped up in front of me. "Yes, I came from the sky, but I didn't live up there." I said. "So, none of you have been in here before?" asked Twilight. "Ugh, Heavens no! Just look at it - it's dreadful." said Rarity. "You should've seen my cell..." I mumbled. "And it ain't natural. Folks say it don't work the same as Equestria." said AJ. "What's that supposed to mean?" asked Twilight. "Nopony knows. You know why?" said RD, scaring the others. "Rainbow, quit it." said AJ. " 'cause everypony who's ever come in has never come out!" she said and made them jump, and the cliff collapsed beneath us. I went sprawling down and managed to get a footing, but I was impaled on a branch. "BAAAAAALLLLLLLSSSSSSS!" I yelled. "Fluttershy! Quick!" said RD and her and Fluttershy went to catch the others. "Oh my goodness, oh my goodness." she said, Rarity and Pinkie were saved and AJ landed but Twilight was hanging on as I tried to pry myself off the branch. "Hold on! I'm a-comin'!" said AJ to Twilight. "Applejack! What do I do?" asked Twilight. "Let go." she said deadpan. "Are you crazy?" asked Twilight. "No I ain't. I promise you'll be safe." said AJ. "That's not true!" protested Twilight. "Now listen here. What I'm sayin' to you is the honest truth. Let go, and you'll be safe." she said. Twilight let go and screamed before RD and Fluttershy caught her but Fluttershy slipped a little. "Sorry girls. I'm not used to holding anything more than a bunny or two." she said, AJ hopped down. "What about-" AJ cut off as they saw the branch was vacant with nary a drop of blood on it. "Me?" I asked from behind and they turned. "How? that branch went through you!" exclaimed RD. "Biomass regeneration." I said simply, I heard a roar, which the girls ignored and we kept moving. "And once Pinkie and Rarity were saved, whoosh... Me and Fluttershy loop-de-loop around and WHAM! Caught you right in the nick of time." said RD. "Yes, I know! fuck! what is it with mortals and saying what we already know!?" I exclaimed. "Calm down pardner, she was only tootin' her horn." said AJ. I sighed. "Sorry..." I said. "A Manticore!" exclaimed Twilight. "Finally... action." I said and cracked my 'knuckles' "We've gotta get past him!" said Twilight. "Sure." I replied, Rarity bucked him in the face. "Take that, you ruffian!" she said, before the Manticore roared in her face and messed her mane up. "My hair!" she exclaimed and ran back to us, I'd let the ponies weaken him up. "Wait." said Fluttershy. "YEE-HAW! Git along, little dogie." aid Aj and rode him like a rodeo. "Wait." "Whoa! All yours, partner." said AJ to RD as she was thrown off. "I'm on it." replied RD. "Wait!" said Fluttershy. RD circled him quickly but was swatted away. "Rainbow!" exclaimed Twilight as she landed at my feet and I raised an eyebrow. I could imagine this playing. We all charged but before I could bring my blade out Fluttershy yelled. "WAIT!" She approached it and it roared. "Shhh... It's okay. Oh, you poor, poor little baby." she said. "Little?" asked Rainbow. "Now this might hurt for just a second." she said and yanked a thorn from him It roared and grabbed her "Fluttershy!" yelled everypony, but I knew it didn't mean her harm. "Aw you're just a little ol' baby kitty, aren't you? Yes you are, yes you are." she said as it licked her. "How did you know about the thorn?" asked Twilight as we walked. "I didn't. Sometimes we all just need to be shown a little kindness." she said, but I disagreed, there was blood on it's claw. I stayed back for a second, and I lifted it's paw and saw the blood. "You bitch..." I said, it looked confused, but by the time it realised I meant it harm, it was swarmed by tendrils, I saw it's memories, it sliced the pony and left him for dead, I also gained a poisoned Whipfist, I caught up to the others. "No. My eyes need a rest from all this icky muck." said Rarity. And plunged into darkness. "Well, I didn't mean that literally..." she said. "Be careful what you wish for." I said. "That ancient ruin could be right in front of our faces and we wouldn't even know it." "Do you mean we would bump into it? or we would walk past it?" I asked. "I didn't see you there, my apologies." said Rarity as everypony bumped into everypony, I could see in the dark perfectly thanks to sight improvement from the Manticore. "Right here... guh..." said Rainbow. "Oh wait, I think I stepped in somethin'." said Applejack and raised her hoof. Fluttershy screamed. "It's just mud." said AJ and turned to run into a tree with a face. "Aah!" he exclaimed. All the girls screamed... but me and Pinkie glanced at each other and burst out laughing. "Huh?" asked everypony. "Pinkie, wood you cut it out? What did the tree do when the bank closed? It started its own branch. Why did the pine tree get in trouble? Because it was being knotty. What did the trees wear to Mother Nature’s pool party? Swimming trunks! What did Betula pendula say to her super-annoying sister? Leaf me alone, birch!" I laughed. Pinkie started making funny noises and faces. "Pinkie, Pariah! what are you doing?! Run!" shouted Twilight. "Oh girls, don't you see?" asked Pinkie and music started. "When I was a little filly and the sun was going down..." "Tell me she's not..." said Twilight. "The darkness and the shadows, they would always make me frown..." she sang. "She is." replied Rarity. "Oh sweet Celestia..." I facepalmed. "I'd hide under my pillow, from what I thought I saw but Granny Pie said that wasn't the way to deal with fears at all" "Then what is?" asked RD. "A chair, the chair is the way forward!" I exclaimed. "She said, "Pinkie, you gotta stand up tall learn to face your fears you'll see that they can't hurt you just laugh to make them disappear." "Ha! Ha! Ha!" me and Pinkie kept laughing, the singing annoyed me but I was still feeling mortal... Suddenly a tree turned normal because of our laughter. So, giggle at the ghostly guffaw at the grossly crack up at the creepy whoop it up with the weepy chortle at the kooky snortle at the spooky and tell that big dumb scary face to take a hike and leave you alone and if he thinks he can scare you then he's got another thing coming and the very idea of such a thing just makes you wanna... hahahaha... heh... Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuugh!" exclaimed Pinkie, all the girls fell about the place, I leaned against the tree with a chuckle... mortal life was precious... seeing the girls having such a good time... it made me feel again properly. We kept walking and I was smiling again, deep in thought. "Did I make you smile?" asked Pinkie. "No Pinkie, you all made me smile." I said, receiving smiles in return. "How are we gonna cross this?" asked PInkie as we came upon choppy waters. "I could jump it... but where does that leave you girls?" I said. "Huh?" asked Pinkie. "What a world, what a world." sobbed a... sea serpent? a fucking sea serpent!? "Excuse me, sir. Why are you crying?" asked Twilight. "Well, I don't know. I was just sitting here, minding my own business, when this tacky little cloud of purple smoke just whisked past me and tore half of my beloved mustache clean off, and now I look simply horrid." he said. "Gayyyyyy..." I said. "Oh, give me a break." said RD. "That's what all the fuss is about?" asked AJ. "Of course! I wouldn't be caught dead without my wonderful warfstache!" came a familiar voice from the trees... "Wilford! my old friend!" I exclaimed and wrapped him in a hug. "Hello Pariah old friend old buddy pal! how are you!?" he asked. "Fine buddy! how about you? still a reporter?" I asked. "But of course! in fact I just finished an interview with Phone Guy, Golden Freddy almost got me, but Warfstache don't take shit from no one! Warfstache is on the lookout for the Slender-man right now, have you seen him?" he asked with a space in between Slender and Man. "No sorry." I said "Oh well, I must leave!" he said and ran back into the forest, shouting for Slenderman. "Who was that?" asked Twilight. "An old friend..." I said. "Will he be back?" asked Rainbow. "Warfstache will always be there... especially to punch evil in the face." I said. "Why, Warfstache is right. How can you be so insensitive? Oh, just look at him. Such lovely luminescent scales." "I know." he said. "And your expertly coiffed mane." "Oh, I know, I know." he cried. "Your fabulous manicure." "It's so true!" he gasped. "Your strong... sharp scales..." I said with hunger. "Yes!" he said "All ruined without your beautiful mustache." concluded Rarity. "It's true, I'm hideous!" he exclaimed. "I simply cannot let such a crime against fabulosity go uncorrected." she finished and took a scale off of him. "What did you do that for?" he asked. "Rarity, what are you-" started Twilight before Rarity cut her tail off and magicked it on to his face. "Oh-hohohoho! My mustache. How wonderful." he exclaimed. "You look smashing." complimented Rarity. "Oh, Rarity, your beautiful tail..." said Twilight. "Oh. It's fine, my dear. Short tails are in this season. Besides, it'll grow back." said Rarity with hope. "So would the mustache." whispered RD to AJ and me and we chuckled. "We can cross now. Let's go. Ah!" exclaimed Twilight as a bunch of scales rose beneath us to help. "Allow me." said the serpent. "I need one of your scales and... a little flesh please..." I asked. "Why?" asked the serpent. "I might be able to give myself some protection, I'll only take a little." I said truthfully. "Ok." he said and a tendril shot out of my back and dug into his flesh for a second and took a little flesh and a scale, which would allow me to create some armor from the DNA. "That stung a little." said the serpent, I thanked him and I caught up with them. "There it is, the ruin that holds The Elements of Harmony. We made it!" said Twilight and ran ahead. "Twilight, wait for us!" said AJ. "We're almost there. Whoa!" she said but before she fell I extended a tendril and grabbed her back and pulled her up. Everypony turned to me. "What? I have some abilities of my own..." I mumbled. "What's with you and falling off cliffs today?" asked Rainbow. "Now what?" sighed Pinkie. "Duh." said Rainbow and flared her wings. "Oh yeah." chirped Pinkie. "Rainbow..." came a voice from the other end. "Who's there?" asked Rainbow. "Rainbow..." repeated a voice. "I ain't scared of you! Show yourself!" exclaimed RD. "We've been eagerly awaiting the arrival of the best flyer in Equestria." said the ethereal voice. "Who?" asked Rainbow. "Why, you, of course." said the voice. "Really?! I mean... Oh yeah, me. Hey, uh, you wouldn't mind telling the Wonderbolts that, would ya? 'cause I've been trying to get into that group for like, ever." said RD. "No, Rainbow Dash. We want you to join us, The Shadowbolts. We're the greatest aerial team in the Everfree Forest, and soon we will be the greatest in all Equestria, but first, we need a captain. The most magnificent-" started the Shadowbolt "Yep." "Swiftest-" "Yes." "Bravest flyer in all the land." "Yes, it's all true." chuckled RD. "We need... you." said the Shadowbolt. "WOOHOO! Sign me up. Just let me tie this bridge real quick and then we have a deal." exclaimed RD. "No! It's them or us." replied the leader. "Rainbow, what's taking so long? Oh no. Rainbow! Don't listen to them." said Twilight as she noticed, the leader created a fog and I jumped the gap and went to deliver a flying kick to them. "Well?" asked the leader. "You... Thank you! For the offer, I mean, but I'm afraid I have to say no." she said. Everypony else cheered, I made contact with the 3 Shadowbolts they dissipated into blue mist and I hit the rock and kicked off, backflipping to the grass. "See? I'd never leave my friends hangin'." said RD. "True that." I said and we entered the ruins. "Whoa. Come on, Twilight. Isn't this what you've been waitin' for?" said AJ. "The Elements of Harmony, we've found them. Careful, careful!" exclaimed Twilight as our two flyers brought the Elements down. "One, two, three, four... There's only five!" exclaimed Twilight. "Hmm..." I pondered. "Where's the sixth?" asked RD. "The book said: when the five are present, a spark will cause the sixth Element to be revealed." said Twilight. "What in the hay is that supposed to mean?" asked AJ. "I'm not sure, but I have an idea. Stand back. I don't know what will happen." said Twilight, I stayed and sat crosslegged. "You're not doing this alone." I said to her and she nodded. "Come on now, y'all. She needs to concentrate." said AJ. "Aah!" exclaimed Twilight as we were teleported away "Twilight! Pariah!" exclaimed everypony. "The Elements!" exclaimed Twilight. All five ponies talked over each other: "Twilight?" "What?" "Where did she go?" "What happened?" "What's going on?" "Twilight, where are you?" asked AJ. "Look!" said Rarity. "Come on!" exclaimed AJ. We both woke up next to each other. "You ok Twi?" I asked. "Yeah." she replied. Nightmare Moon was there and laughed evilly. "Hmph!" Twilight gasped and prepared to charge her "You're kidding. You're kidding, right? I have a trick up my sleeve... pet!" exclaimed NM and suddenly I felt my body moving of it's own accord, I felt NM straining to hold me and I prepared to kill Twilight. "Stop. her!" I exclaimed and Twilight shot at her with a spell and NM let go her hold of me, but she rushed forward and impaled me with her horn, I fell to the floor. "Just one spark. Come on, come on." said Twilight and cried out as they sent her flying. "No, no!" exclaimed NM. "But... where's the sixth Element?!" gasped Twilight as I put my hand in the center of the puddle of biomass that Nightmare had impaled out of me and absorbed it back. "You little foal! Thinking you could defeat me? Now you will never see your princess, or your sun! The night will last forever!" laughed NM. All five ponies talked over each other again, to get to us: "Don't worry guys, we're here." "Don't worry, we'll be there." "You think you can destroy The Elements of Harmony just like that? Well, you're wrong, because the spirits of The Elements of Harmony are right here." said Twilight as the others entered the room. "What?" asked NM. "Applejack, who reassured me when I was in doubt, represents the spirit of... honesty!" "It takes a lot to tell the honest truth no matter what, an admirable trait, but not one I envy." I admitted. "Fluttershy, who tamed the manticore with her compassion, represents the spirit of... kindness!" "A trait I wish I had more of, to give something a second chance like she did, requires courage and compassion." I said. "Pinkie Pie, who banished fear by giggling in the face of danger, represents the spirit of... laughter!" "A trait I share, as well as Mr. Warfstache, and I gladly do share it." "Rarity, who calmed a sorrowful serpent with a meaningful gift represents the spirit of... generosity!" "To give a part of yourself for another... something I couldn't do, I admire that." I said. "And Rainbow Dash, who could not abandon her friends for her own heart's desire represents the spirit of... loyalty!" "Staying loyal when offered with something you've wanted for ages, it takes a strong resolve." "The spirits of these five ponies got us through every challenge you threw at us." said Twilight. "And damn am I glad we're friends." I said. "You still don't have the sixth Element! The spark didn't work!" exclaimed NM. "But it did! A different kind of spark. I felt it the very moment I realized how happy I was to hear you, to see you, how much I cared about you. The spark ignited inside me when I realized that you all... are my friends! You see, Nightmare Moon, when those Elements are ignited by the... the spark, that resides in the heart of us all, it creates the sixth element: the element of... magic!" said Twilight, suddenly memories of anothe rlife passed through my head... the rise of Nightmare Moon... incomplete... I needed them. "Nooo! Nooo!" exclaimed Nightmare, suddenly the Elements bounced to me and I got my Claws ready... I felt my form tear apart into something else... "Moon help me..." said NM in fear. I jumped atop Nightmare and tore into her, carving her up, tendrils extended from my back and consumed the pieces... I stopped when I saw another heat signature in there, I stopped and at on my haunches, wiped my face and fell off Nightmare backwards, passing out... "Ugh, my head." said RD and got up "Everypony okay?" asked AJ. "No." I replied. "Everything ok?" she asked. "Si." I put my thumb up. "Oh, thank goodness." Rarity in relief. "Why Rarity, it's so lovely." said Fluttershy. "I know! I'll never part with it again." said Rarity, referring to her tail. "No. Your necklace. It looks just like your cutie mark." said Fluttershy. "What? Ooh. So does yours." said Rarity. "Look at mine! Look at mine!" said Pinkie. "Aw yeah." RD hoofbumped the air. "Woah!" exclaimed RD and looked at me. I was literally an unidentifiable jumble of biomass, with two eyes and claws extended from my form, I switched back luckily. "That felt... incredible..." I said, it felt as if I was feeding off the very earth "Gee, Twilight! I thought you were just spoutin' a lot of hooey, but I reckon we really do represent the elements of friendship." "Indeed you do." came a voice. "Princess Celestia." gasped Twilight. "Twilight Sparkle, my faithful student. I knew you could do it." said a vibrant white pony. "But... you told me it was all an old pony tale." "I told you that you needed to make some friends, nothing more. I saw the signs of Nightmare Moon's return and I knew it was you who had the magic inside to defeat her, but you could not unleash it until you let true friendship into your heart. Now if only another will as well. Princess Luna!" exclaimed Celestia, I saw a blue pony, who I almost ripped apart, but she looked... pretty... "It has been a thousand years since I have seen you like this. Time to put our differences behind us. We were meant to rule together, little sister." "Sister?" asked everypony. "Will you accept my friendship?" asked Celestia and I turned to leave, this was a matter not of my concern. "Whoa!" said Pinkie. "I'm so sorry! I missed you so much, big sister!" said Luna. "I've missed you, too." Celestia said and they cried. "I couldn't have done it without you guys, and Pa- where is he?" asked Twilight. "I saw him leave before." said RD. Twilight ran out and saw me walking across the bridge. "Wait! Pariah!" called Twilight, I saw her friends and the Princesses follow her out as I turned around. "What?" I asked in genuine inquiry. "I... I couldn't have done this without you..." said Twilight. "You could have, not with as much badassery, but yes, you could've." I said. "Forgive my intrusion, but what are you?" asked Celestia. "I am Pariah, a Runner." I said and held my hand out, she raised an eyebrow and then smiled. "A pleasure to meet you Mr-" I cut her off as we shook. "There was and is no 'Mr. Pariah' it's just Pariah please." I said "Very well." smiled Celestia. "Anyway, I must go, there are some things I need to sort out." I said and continued walking, I stood at the edge of the cliff and took in a breath. "Where will you go?" asked Twilight. "Not far." I answered as I faced them, spread my arms and fell backwards. Everypony tried to stop me but I had already fell. I landed at the bottom of the gorge and sprinted to town my own way, jumping the branches, the trees, and gliding every now and then. I landed at the entrance to the Everfree and saw the girls gawking at me. "Hey, you know what this calls for?" asked Pinkie. "Dare we ask?" I said. "A party!" exclaimed Pinkie. Suddenly we were in Ponyville enjoying some festivities, although I couldn't get into the swing of it, I enjoyed watching the ponies have a good time, I saw Celestia and Luna come in by carriage and I headed over to hear Celestia convering with Twilight. "Why so glum, my faithful student? Are you not happy that your quest is complete and you can return to your studies in Canterlot?" asked Celestia. "That's just it. Just when I learned how wonderful it is to have friends, I have to leave them." said Twilight, saddened. "Spike, take a note, please. I, Princess Celestia, hereby decree that the unicorn Twilight Sparkle shall take on a new mission for Equestria. She must continue to study the magic of friendship. She must report to me her findings from her new home in Ponyville, and she is to share her home with Pariah, who is now an official member of our kingdom." smiled Celestia. Everypony cheered. "Oh thank you, Princess Celestia! I'll study harder than ever before." said Twilight. "Isn't this exciting? Are you excited cause I'm excited I've never been so excited, well, except for the time that I went [gasp!] but I mean really-" Pinkie cut off as I stuffed cake in her mouth. "Shut your 'cake hole' Pinkie!" I exclaimed, she looked at me blankly for a second before we laughed again. "Hey everypony! come and gawk at a Slendyman for the reasonable price of nothing!" came the spit filled voice of Warfstache. "Hey bud!" I exclaimed and we hugged. "Damn, Warfstache can't handle these emotions... no! Warfstache is a reporter! known for his emotionlessness!" he said. "Lets get the Jaegerbombs." I said and he smiled. "Yeah!" he exclaimed. Author's Note Another chapter! this has went through multiple OC stories and this one made the cut! yay! The Ticket Conundrum The Ticket Conundrum Today I was helping AJ, Twi and Spike with AJ's farm, I was still in human form, with my spec op gear on. "No. Nope. Nope-" said Spike, getting rid of bad apples, which I picked up and consumed for biomass, although a small amount it counted for the amount of bad apples there were. "Thank you kindly, Twilight and Pariah, for helping me out. I bet Big McIntosh I could get all these Golden Delicious in the barn by lunchtime. If I win, he's gonna walk down Stirrup Street in one of Grannies girdles." chuckled AJ. "It's fine, not like I have anything better to do." I said. "No problem at all, Applejack. I'm glad the goal is lunchtime. All this hard work is making me hungry." said Twilight. "Bad apples are still good to me." "I know, right?" said Spike to Twi's question. "Puh-leez, Spike, you've been lounging on my back all morning while we worked." said Twilight. "And I love not being able to get tired." I said with a sigh. "Exactly. You three are taking so long, I missed snack-time." said Spike. "Eh, I guess we better get some food." said Twilight and laughed nervously as her stomach grumbled. "Nope. Worm. A-ha!" said Spike, I took the wormy apple and consumed both, worms were like a treat inside the apple for me, lately I had been craving more biomass lately for Mass. "Oh Spike, that looks delicious." said Twilight as Spike ate it. "Spike." groaned Twilight. "What?" he asked as he burped before burping again, this time out came a letter. "It's a letter from Princess Celestia." said Twilight and read it. "Hear ye, hear ye. Her Grand Royal Highness, Princess Celestia of Equestria, is pleased to announce The Grand Galloping Gala to be held in the magnificent capital city of Canterlot, on the 21st day of, eh, yadda yadda yadda, cordially extends an invitation to Twilight Sparkle plus one guest." he said "The Grand Galloping Gala!" exclaimed both mares. "Err..." I mumbled. "It a party in Canterlot for only the high and mighty, it's the event everypony wants to go to." explained Spike. "The Grand Galloping Gala!" repeated the mares. "Woo-hoo!" cheered AJ. "Look, two tickets." said Spike as he burped and they appeared. "Wow, great! I've never been to the gala. Have you, Spike?" asked Twilight. "No, and I plan to keep it that way. I don't want any of that girly frilly frou-frou nonsense." said Spike. "Yeah, me and Spike don't gallop." I said and we fist bumped. "Aw, come on boys. A dance would be nice." said Twilight. "Nice? It's a heap good more than just nice. I'd love to go. Land sakes, if I had an apple stand set up, ponies would be chowin' our tasty vittles 'til the cows came home. Do you have any idea how much business I could drum up for Sweet Apple Acres? Why, with all that money, we could do a heap of fixin' up 'round here. We could replace that saggy old roof, and Big McIntosh could replace that saggy old plow, and Granny Smith could replace that saggy old hip." said AJ. "And that's how your day crumbles." I chuckled. "Why, I'd give my left hind leg to go to that gala." said AJ. "Oh, well in that case, would you like to-" started Twilight before RD dropped on top of me and I caught her. "Whoa! Ugh thanks Big P." said RD using my new nickname she gave me and nopony else uses. "Thats ok RD." I said and put her down. "Are we talking about The Grand Galloping Gala?" she asked. "Rainbow Dash, you told me you were too busy to help me harvest apples. What were you busy doing, spyin'?" asked AJ. "No, I was busy napping, and I just happened to hear that you have an extra ticket?" said RD and we saw a makeshift bed in a tree. "Yeah, but-" started Twilight. "YES! This is so awesome. The Wonderbolts perform at The Grand Galloping Gala every year. I can see it now. Everyone would be watching the sky. Their eyes riveted on The Wonderbolts, but then in would fly Rainbow Dash!" exclaimed RD. "Ok..." I said. "I would draw their attention with my Super Speed Strut." she said. "Cool..." I mumbled. "Then, I would mesmerize 'em with my Fantastic Filly Flash. And for my grand finale, The Buccaneer Blaze! The ponies would go wild!" she exclaimed. "And you would be famous?" I guessed. "The Wonderbolts would insist that my signature moves be incorporated into their routine, and then welcome me as their newest member." she finished. "Mmm hmm..." I said with a smirk. "Don't you see, Twilight? This could be my one chance to show 'em my stuff. You gotta take me!" she said as AJ took her down. "Hold on just one pony pickin' minute here. I asked for that ticket first!" exclaimed AJ. "So? That doesn't mean you own it." said RD. "Oh, yeah? Well I challenge you to a hoof-wrestle. Winner gets the ticket." challenged AJ and they got started. "Girls, these are my tickets, I'll decide who gets it, thank you very much. Whoever has the best reason to go should get the ticket, don't you think?" asked Twilight rhetorically. "Drummin' up business for the farm?" asked AJ. "A chance to audition for The Wonderbolts?" asked RD. "Can you two just fight it out already? whoever ends up in hospital loses the ticket?" I asked Twilight and she shook her head. "Money t' fix Granny's hip." they started stating now. "Living the dream." sighed RD. "Oh my, those were all pretty good reasons, aren't they? Listen to that, I am starving. I don't know about you, but I can't make important decisions on an empty stomach, so I'll, uh, think about it over lunch and get back to you two, okay?" said Twilight as her stomach rumbled. "Okay." they said as we walked away and AJ and RD restarted the arm wrestle. "So, who you gonna give the ticket to, Twilight?" asked Spike, I turned back into my pony form. "I don't know Spike, but I really can't think straight when I'm hungry, so where should we eat?" suddenly a certain pink party pony crashed into us. "Gah! Bats! Bats on my face! Help! Wait, these aren't... tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala?! It's the most amazing incredible tremendous super-fun wonderful terrifically humongous party in all of Equestria! I've always always always wanted to go!" said Pinkie. "Lord above..." I fake cried and Twilight shared a sympathetic look. "Oh the Grand Galloping Gala is the best place for me, oh the Grand Galloping Gala is the best place for me, hip hip hooray! It's the best place for me For Pinkie... with decorations like streamers and fairy-lights and pinwheels and piñatas and pin-cushions. With goodies like sugar cubes and sugar canes and sundaes and sun-beams and sarsaparilla. And I get to play my favorite-est of favorite fantabulous games like Pin the Tail on the Pony! Oh the Grand Galloping Gala is the best place for me oh the Grand Galloping Gala is the best place for me 'cause it's the most galarrific superly-terrific gala ever In the whole galaxy wheee!" she finished and I absobed the biomass I sealed my ears with... even though I don't hear with my ears unfortunately... "Is it over?" I asked, receiving a nod from Spike. "Oh thank you, Twilight, it's the most wonderful-est gift ever." said Pinkie. "Um, actually-" tried Twilight. "Are these what I think they are?" asked Rarity. "Uh-" she tried again. "Yes, yes, yes! Twilight's taking me to The Grand Galloping Gala in Canterlot." said Pinkie, I swear a Devastator could sort this... "The gala? I design ensembles for the gala every year, but I've never had the opportunity to attend. Oh, the society, the culture, the glamour! It's where I truly belong, and where I'm destined to meet him." she said. "Him! ...Who?" asked Pinkie. "Him. I would stroll through the gala, and everyone would wonder, "Who is that mysterious mare?" They would never guess that I was just a simple pony from little old Ponyville. Why, I would cause such a sensation that I would be invited for an audience with Princess Celestia herself, and the princess would be so taken with the style and elegance that she would introduce me to him, her nephew: the most handsome, eligible unicorn stallion in Canterlot. Our eyes would meet, our hearts would melt. Our courtship would be magnificent. He would ask for my hoof in marriage, and of course I would say, "Yes!" We would have a royal wedding, befitting a Princess, which is what I would become upon marrying him, the stallion of my dreams." sighed Rarity. I twitched. "Is there anypony who doesn't want these tickets?" I asked. "Twilight, I simply cannot believe you would invite Pinkie Pie so she can... party, and prevent me from meeting my true love. How could you? Hmph." said Rarity and pouted. "Hey!" said Spike as Angel stole the tickets. "Angel, these are perfect." gasped Twilight. "Uh, listen guys, I haven't decided who to give the extra ticket to." admitted Twilight, finally getting a word in edgeways. "You haven't?" asked Rarity and Pinkie. "Um, excuse me, Twilight. I would just like to ask, I mean, if it would be all right, if you haven't given it to someone else-" started Fluttershy. "You? You want to go to the gala?" asked Rarity. "Oh, no. I mean, yes, or, actually, kind of. You see, it's not so much The Grand Galloping Gala as it is the wondrous private gated garden that surrounds the dance. The flowers are said to be the most beautiful and fragrant in all of Equestria. For the night of the gala, and that night alone, would they all be in bloom... and that's just the flora! Don't get me started on the fauna. There's loons and toucans and bitterns, oh my! Hummingbirds that can really hum, and buzzards that can really buzz. White-blue jays, and red jays, and green jays, pink jays and pink flamingos!" said Fluttershy. "Gee, Fluttershy, it sounds... beautiful?" asked Twilight. "Wait just a minute..." came RD's voice. "Rainbow Dash, were you following me?" asked Twilight. "No. I mean, yes. I mean, maybe. Look, it doesn't matter. I couldn't risk a goody-four-shoes like you giving that ticket away to just anybody." said RD. "Wait just another minute." came AJ's voice. "Applejack, were you following me too?" asked Twilight. "No. I was followin' this one to make sure she didn't try any funny business. Still trying to take mah ticket." said AJ "Your ticket?" asked RD. "But Twilight's taking me." moaned Pinkie. Twilight sighed. "SHUT THE FUCKING HELL UP!!!" I roared, tendrils shooting from my back and holding me in the air and my voice shaking the ground, Twilight clenched her eyes shut but gave me a thankful looks afterwards, obviously she'd question the tendrils but oh well... "And then I said, "Oatmeal, are you craz-" oh." said Pinkie and noticed Twilight waiting. "Girls, there's no use in arguing." said Twilight. "But Twilight-" moaned Rarity. "Eh! This is my decision, and I'm gonna make it on my own, and I certainly can't think straight with all this noise... not to mention hunger. Now go on, shoo." said Twilight as everypony else grumbled. "And don't worry, I'll figure this out... somehow." she called. "Spike, Pariah, what am I gonna do? All five of my best friends have really good reasons to go to the gala. Applejack, or Rainbow Dash? Pinkie Pie or Fluttershy, Rarity... Oh, who should go with me?" asked Twilight and picked a sunflower. "Have you made your decision?" asked a waiter. "I CAN'T DECIDE!" yelled Twilight. "Twilight, he just wants to take your order." "Calm it." I said. "Oh. I would love a daffodil and daisy sandwich." she said. "Do you have any rubies?" asked Spike, earning a look from the waiter. "No? Okay. I'll have the hay fries, extra crispy." he said. "I'll get the most organic thing you have." I said and he nodded and left. "What do you think, guys?" asked Twilight. "I think we have to try another restaurant. I mean, I like grass just fine, but would it hurt anybody to offer some gemstones?" asked Spike. "Yeah, I mean is it hard to catch worms? maybe I should order unwashed veg from now on..." I mumbled. "I mean about the gala and the ticket and who I should take." said Twilight. "Oh. You're still on that?" asked Spike. "It's an important decision Spike, I mean, Twilight will go grey just thinking about it." I chuckled "Spike, Pariah, listen. How do I choose? And when I do choose, will the other four be mad at me? I mean, I could give up my ticket and give away two, but that would still leave three disappointed ponies. What if I-" started Twilight "Ah, your food." said the waiter. "Oh thank you. This looks so good. I'm sure everything will be much clearer once I eat." said Twilight and went to take a bite as did I of... a mound of ear- a worm! better... a family of worms! I instantly consumed it, when suddenly we heard galloping. "Em, madam? sir? Are you going to eat your food in ze rain?" asked the waiter. "It's not raining. What's going on?" asked Twilight as rain pattered around us. "Hi there, best friend forever I've ever ever had. Enjoying the sunny weather?" asked RD. "Rainbow Dash, what are you doing?" asked Twilight. "Whaddya mean? I just saw the smartest, most generous pony about to get rained on, so I thought I'd kick a hole in the clouds to keep her dry so she could dine in peace, that's all." said RD. "And what about the male at her side?" I asked. "Oh yeah, you to Big P." smiled RD. "Rainbow, you're not trying to get extra consideration for the extra ticket by doing me extra special favors, are you?" asked Twilight. "Me? No no no, of course not." denied Dash. "Uh-huh." said me and Twi in unison. "Seriously, I'd do it for anypony. Heh heh, eh." said Rainbow as we saw ponies running indoors. "Rainbow, I am not comfortable accepting unwanted favors, so I'd appreciate it if you close up that rain cloud right now!" said Twilight. "Ugh, fine. [zip]" said RD and closed it like a zip. "That's better." said Twi and went to bite her sandwich before the rain dampened it and she groaned. "Twilight, it's raining." said Rarity with an umbrella. "No, really?" she asked. "Detective Rarity on the case." I mumbled. "Come with me before you catch a cold." said Rarity, we were taken to the boutique, Twilight shook off the water and got Rarity splashed. "Heh heh, oops, sorry." said Twilight. "Oh no, it's quite all right. After all, we are... the best of friends, are we not? And you know what the best of friends do?" asked Rarity. "Uh..." started Twi. "Makeovers!" she exclaimed and a cover appeared and Rarity dressed Twilight in all sorts of costumes. "Ugh, Rarity, ow, this really isn't fixing it. I mean, thank you but, ooh, that's too tight." said Twilight. "There. Oh, you're simply darling." said Rarity and Twi was dressed in a pretty blue saddle. "Uh, yeah, it is kinda pretty, isn't it?" asked Twilight. "Sure is Twi." I complimented and she blushed. "And you two. Oh Spike, I have a dandy little outfit for the dashing gent." said Rarity and summoned the cover again and Spike tried to escape. "D-ah, ow, oh, hey, wow, watch it, whoa!" "Oh, Spike." giggled Twilight sweetly as he was dressed in a nobles wig and costume. "Now you just need a hat." said Rarity and put his hat on, she turned to me but I stopped her. "Bring that stuff anywhere near me and I'll burn your shop down." I said and she chuckled nervously and threw them away. "Ugh, I told you, I don't want any part of this girly gala gunk. See you back at the library." said Spike. "Oh, who needs him anyway? This is all about you, and how fabulous you'll look at The Grand Galloping Gala." laughed Rarity and put a mirror in front of Twi who pulled some cute poses. "You look nice Twi." I said and she blushed before she realised what Rarity said. "Wait, The Grand-" started Twilight. "And oh, my goodness, what a coincidence. I happen to have an ensemble of my own that matches yours to a T. We would be the belles of the ball, you and I. Everyone would be clamoring for our attention. All eyes would be on us, and then everyone would finally know, the most beautiful, most talented, most sophisticated pony in all of Equestria is Rarity the unicorn. Ah, and Twilight Sparkle, of course." she laughed nervously. "I see what's going on. You're just buttering me up so I give you the extra ticket. Well it's not gonna work. You're going to have to wait for my decision just like everyone else. Now if you'll excuse me, I've been trying all day just to get some lunch." said Twilight and we walkd out to be greeted by a cart full of treats, courtesy of Applejack. "Did somepony say lunch?" said aforementioned pony. "You've got to be kidding me!" shouted Twilight. "I got apple pie, apple fritters, apple tarts, apple dumplings, apple crisps, apple crumblers, and apple Brown Betty. Uh, the dessert, not my auntie. What do you say there, best friend?" asked AJ, I could tell Twilight as about to explode. "Is that a yes?" asked AJ as Twilight's stomach grumbled. "No. No. I don't know who I'm giving the ticket to, and all these favors aren't making it any easier to decide. In fact, I'm less sure now than I was this morning. Ugh!" groaned Twilight and we ran. "So, that's a maybe?" asked AJ. As we approached the library Twilight groaned. "Ugh, I never thought being showered with favors would be so aggravating." said Twi, we saw Fluttershy cleaning in the treehouse and humming a familiar tune... "Fluttershy, not you too?" said Twilight. "Oh, well, hello Twilight. I hope you don't mind, but we're all doing a little spring cleaning for you." smiled Fluttershy. "It's summer." said me and Twi in unison. "Oh, well, better late than never, right? It was Angel's idea." pointed Fluttershy at the cheeky rabbit who was tossing a salad. "You're not doing this for the ticket, are you?" asked Twilight. "Oh no, I'm doing this because you're my very best friend. Right Angel?" asked Fluttershy but Angel stared at her. "You were saying?" I asked. "Oh, yes, we are just doing this for the ticket." Angel presented Twi with the salad. "No, no, no! Well, this was all very nice of you and Angel, but I'm not accepting any extra favors until I've made my final decision, so I'm going to have to ask you to leave." said Twi and opened the door to reveal many ponies. "SURPRISE!" yelled everypony and dragged Twilight out and tossed her in the air and caught her. "Oh bollocks..." I groaned. "Twilight is my bestest friend whoopie, whoopie!" sang Pinkie "Pinkie..." said Twilight. She's the cutest, smartest, all around best pony, pony! "Pinkie." tried Twilight. I bet if I throw a super-duper fun party, party! "Pinkie!" she exclaimed. She'll give her extra ticket to the Gala to me! "PIIINKIIIE!" yelled Twilight and was dropped on her flank and was on her back. "Yes, Twilight?" she asked. "At least the other ponies tried to be subtle about the ticket." said Twilight. "Wait, what ticket? What gala?" asked a pony. "Oh, you didn't know? Twilight has an extra ticket to the Grand Galloping Gala!" said Pinkie. "My god mare, what have you done?!" I exclaimed. "The Grand Galloping Gala?" said everypony. "Have I ever told you how much I love your mane?" We tried to run. "I'll wash your dishes." Tried again. "Would you like any help with your gardening?" "I have a cartload of extra carrots." "I'll paint your cart." "What are we gonna do?" asked Spike. "We-" I cut Twilight off. "Whatever you were going to say I have a better idea..." I said. "What?" asked Twilight. "Run!!!" I yelled and we did. (God bless Benny Hill... RIP legend.) We managed to act as a mother and father pushing a baby carriage with Spike in it as the horde ran past us, and we ran the opposite way, a pony saw and pointed at us. We hid under a bridge and the crowd ran over us. Spike fell in the water and we ran again, we posed as models in a shop window, me in a tux and Twi with a clown outfit, and SPike in a Haywiian hula outfit, they ran past and we legged/hoofed it. Suddenly we were backed into a corner. Ponies were offering favors. "I'll do your taxes!" "Never corner a fox." I said, grabbed both pony and dragon and breathed hard, sending a web of biomass i front of us so they couldn't see as I jumped high and air dashed toward the treehouse. "Where is she? Where did she go? She's disappeared." "TWI!" I yelled a we were about to amh into the trunk, then Twi teleported us inside. "Ugh, warn me next time you're both gonna do that." said Spike. "That was awesome Pariah! I didn't even know it was gonna happen. Now quick, lock the doors." said Twi when suddenly the 5 ponies were in front of us Yaaaargh! I can't decide, I just can't decide. It's important to all of you and I just can't stand to disappoint any of you, and giving me gifts and doing me favors won't make any difference, because you're all my friends and I wanna make you all happy and I can't, I just can't!" she said. "Twilight, sugar, I didn't mean to put so much pressure on you, and if it helps, I don't want the ticket anymore. You can give it to somepony else. I won't feel bad, I promise." said AJ "Me too. I feel just awful that I made you feel so awful." "And me too. It's no fun upsetting your friends." "Twilight, it was unfair of me to try to force you as I did." "Yes! That means the ticket is mine. Ha ha, I got the ticket, I got the ticket-" she sang. Everypony including me gave her a death glare. "You know, I haven't perfected my signature moves for The Wonderbolts anyway. I don't need that ticket either." she said. "We all got so gung-ho about going to the gala that we couldn't see how un-gung-ho we were making you." "We're sorry, Twilight." they all said. "Spike, take down a note. Dear Princess Celestia," "I've learned that one of the joys of friendship is sharing your blessings, but when there's not enough blessings to go around, having more than your friends can make you feel pretty awful. So, though I appreciate the invitation, I will be returning both tickets to The Grand Galloping Gala." said Twilight and enclosed the tickets. "What?!" said everypony. "If my friends can't all go, I don't wanna go either." said Twilight. "Interesting..." I said and took down my own notes, I had to learn these ponies customs as well, I took down the act of selflessness. "Twilight, you don't have to do that." said AJ. "Nope. I've made up my mind. Spike, you can send the letter now." said Twilight. Spike sent it via dragonfire "Now you won't get to go to the gala either." said Fluttershy. "It's okay, girls. I couldn't possibly enjoy myself without my best friends there with me, so I would rather not go at all." said Twilight. "Hgh... hgh... urk... urk..." Spike choked. "Well wallop my withers, Spike. Isn't that just like a boy? Can't handle the least bit of sentiment." said AJ, I went over to him. "Spike buddy, you ok?" I asked with concern, he looked to be choking. Suddenly he burped out a letter and I caught it. "Whoa Nelly!" said AJ as my hand was burned but it repaired as I winced. "A letter from the princess? That was fast." said Twilight as i handed Spike the letter. ""My faithful student Twilight," started Spike. "Why didn't you just say so in the first place?" Six tickets to The Grand Galloping Gala." said Spike. Everypony gasped. "Now we can all go." said Twilight. Everypony cheered. Twilight's stomach rumbled. "Allow us to treat you to dinner." said Rarity. "What a great way to apologize." said AJ. "And to celebrate. Come on everypony, the cupcakes are on me." said Pinkie. "Would that cupcake get fur in?" I asked and everypony laughed. "How come I don't get a ticket to the gala? Hurk! "And one for you, Spike." he giggled. "Hurk!" exclaimed Spike and another letter came through. "And one for Pariah." said Spike and I took it in my hand. "Yes! I mean, gross, I have to go too?" said Spike and giggled as he ran. AJ chuckled. The Scientist.As I prepared to head to Canterlot for a meeting with Princess Celestia, I wondered what adventures or rather mis-adventures the 6 would get up to, I was expected to be back tomorrow, sometime in the afternoon, just the time for their adventures. I headed to Golden Oaks basement, where I had set up a laboratory, I had found that after consuming that half dead pony, some rather colourful DNA cells had been responsible for my mood swings, sometimes I would be 'human' or a quite polite guy, I could be angry which is due to some black cells also vying for control, or I could be benign, like with NM. The colourful and black cells had been 'eating' my normal cells, but had lately stopped, and I now had more control of my attitude. I had also been testing some virus strands, maybe I could turn the Manticores into a new type of Hunter class infected, there are also many more a creature I could turn, but it would not be to take over Equestria, no, just for protection. I also had my military backpack here, just in case as it had my guns and MREs in. I exited the lab and sealed the door to it. I exited the library and locked the door, Twilight was actually coming with for a few hours, leaving the library to Spike who was out and had his own key, the 5 mares were waiting as I switched to my pony form. Pinkie started crying. "Don't forget about me!" she sobbed. "How could I forget you? you make the best cakes." I said and she smiled again. "Promise?" she asked. "Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a cupcake in my eye." I said and did the actions, I found it best to humour Pinkie. "Darling, I hope you have a great time and, if you do find a way home, do write us a goodbye letter." said Rarity. "Of course Rarity." I said. "Yeah yeah, big whoop, you're going, so what?" asked RD acting benign. "I'll miss you to Rainbow." I rolled my eyes. "Whatever Big P." she said. "Bye Fluttershy." I said as the mare lightly hugged me and I returned it. "Goodbye, I hope you find a way home, visit if you can, if you don't mind..." she said and hid behind her mane. "Of course." I said and moved to AJ. "Well pardner, it's been an honour." said and we shook hooves. "Wait!" called Spike. "What?" asked Twilight. "I just wanted to say goodbye." said Spike. "See you later big dragon." I said. "See ya Pariah." he said and we shook hooves/claws. "Come on Twilight." I said and we left to the station. We sat on the train in a private carriage. "So, what's with the... slippy slide, tendril... thing?" asked Twilight. "Save the Q&A for the castle Twilight, Celestia will want to know as well." I said. "That's true." said Twilight, suddenly memories plagued me and I held my head, I had a memory from Nightmare Moon. (If you've never played Prototype, this is what a memory is like and the feel I'm going for and a bit of info as Pariah is similar to Mercer.) "Alone... sooooo alone... nopony cares about you... your own sister despises you!" "That is not true!" "Isn't it, Luna? what does she do to help you? nothing!" "She does help us! whenever we need it!" "You are alone Luna, let me make it right... let me be there for you..." "we- we won't!" "Think about it Luna..." "..." "..." "Ok..." And the memory ended, it seemed Nightmare Moon was talking to Luna, turning her against her sister, and herself. "I'm still here!" came a voice... Nightmare Moon! "And I will trap you forever!" and I blacked out. -Meanwhile, Twilight Sparkle's POV- "Pariah? Pariah!" exclaimed Twilight, Pariah's... tendril things were writhing all over his body and his eyes were rolled back into his head and he was blinking rapidly. Twilight pulled a cord in the carriage that made the train go faster in an emergency. The train sped up and reached Canterlot in 10 minutes, Twilight carried him in her magic and ran to the palace, where she saw Celestia waiting. "Twilight! what happened?" asked Celestia as she saw Pariah on Twilight's back. "Something happened to him!" exclaimed Twilight. "Come, we must get him into the infirmar-" she cut off as Pariah took in a huge breath and stood up, turning back into his original form with his marine gear. "ahhhh!" he grunted after yelling, the guards came running and Pariah started bashing his head on the floor. "GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" he yelled, and threw his head on a guard's spear, much to the guards horror. "Oh horsefeathers... what have I done..." asked the guard, suddenly Pariah pried his head from the spear and had eyes like Nightmare Moon in his original form. "Hello again Celesti-" she cut off as Pariah suddenly threw up viral paste, the DNA of Nightmare going with it. He was on his hands and knees facing the floor before getting to his knees. "Good evening Princess, we have much to talk about." he said as his face repaired itself as he reabsorbed the DNA he spewed up, hopefully regaining control. "Indeed..." said Celestia, he saw Princess Luna looking at him with her hoof on her mouth in shock. Pariah approached Luna and smiled. "Princess Luna, it is an honor to be in the company of royalty as important and... beautiful as yourselves." he said, Luna was remarkably bigger than before, she blushed and ran to her room. "Luna seems to be doing well." laughed Twilight nervously. Pariah approached the guard who's spear was in need of a good clean, the guard gulped as Pariah approached him. He put his hand on the tip of the spear and absorbed the biomass back. "Thanks." said Pariah. "Yes she is, thanks to you and Pariah, what just happened?" asked Celestia. "Memory leak, I call them, if somepony's will that I've consumed and 'kept' is strong enough they can push forward and try to seize control, first time they've succeeded, and the last, I know how to combat her now, I only keep the person alive inside of me if they deserve to suffer, and Nightmare deserved to suffer." "So... you can see Nightmare's memories?" asked Celestia. "And Luna's, if I try hard enough, but I don't wish to intrude on yours and her life." "Thank you for respecting our privacy." smiled Celestia. "It's fine, I wouldn't want a stranger poking around my memories." I said. "Well, welcome to Canterlot, Pariah." welcomed Celestia. "Thank you Celestia." I said as she sat on her throne and waited... just waited... "Pariah! bow!" whispered Twilight harshly. "No, she's not my ruler." I said. "I agree, he is not from here, now come, like you said, there is much to discuss." said Celestia and led us out We sat at a table and Celestia talked to us. "So Pariah, where are you from?" asked Celestia as Twilight got a scroll and quill. "Earth, pretty much lie Equestria, called Planet Gaia, 80% water it's mass is 5,972,190,000,000,000 billion kg, it's equatorial diameter is 12,756 km, it's polar diameter is 12,714 km its equatorial circumference is 40,030 km, it's known moons are 1, notable moons: The Moon also called Luna incidentally, its orbit distance is 149,598,262 km (1 AU) orbit period is 365.26 Earth days which are 24 hours and the surface temperature is -88 to 58°C." I said, I consumed quite a few scientists during my time in captivity. "Tell me some more." said Celestia who was sipping tea. "The Earth’s rotation is gradually slowing but this deceleration is happening almost imperceptibly, at approximately 17 milliseconds per hundred years, although the rate at which it occurs is not perfectly uniform. This has the effect of lengthening our days, but it happens so slowly that it could be as much as 140 million years before the length of a day will have increased to 25 hours. The Earth was once believed to be the centre of the universe due to the movements of the Sun and planets in relation to their viewpoint, ancient scientists insisted that the Earth remained static, whilst other celestial bodies travelled in circular orbits around it. Eventually, the view that the Sun was at the centre of the universe was postulated by Copernicus, though this is also not the case. Earth has a powerful magnetic field, this phenomenon is caused by the nickel-iron core of the planet, coupled with its rapid rotation. This field protects the Earth from the effects of solar wind and there is only one natural satellite of the planet Earth, as a percentage of the size of the body it orbits, the Moon is the largest satellite of any planet in our solar system. In real terms, however, it is only the fifth largest natural satellite. Earth is the only planet not named after a god, The other seven planets in our solar system are all named after Roman gods or goddesses. Although only Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn were named during ancient times, because they were visible to the naked eye, the Roman method of naming planets was retained after the discovery of Uranus and Neptune and finally, of all the planets in our solar system, the Earth has the greatest density, however this varies according to the part of the planet; for example, the metallic core is denser than the crust. The average density of the Earth is approximately 5.52 grams per cubic centimetre." I said. "Tell us about the Moon, my sister will be most interested." said Celestia. "Sure, the Moon or Luna, is the Earth’s only natural satellite and was formed 4.6 billion years ago around some 30–50 million years after the formation of the solar system. The Moon is in synchronous rotation with Earth meaning the same side is always facing the Earth. The first unmanned mission to the Moon was in 1959 by the Soviet Lunar Program with the first manned landing being Apollo 11 in 1969. The Circumference at Equator is 10,917.0 km, the diameter is 3,475 km, it's mass is 73,476,730,924,573,500 million kg, 0.0123 x Earth, the average distance from Earth: is 384,400 km, it's length of Orbit is 27.3 Earth days and it's surface Temperature is -233 to 123 °C." "Thank you, now can I ask about you?" asked Celestia. "Sure, but I'm not sure I know about me." I said. "What are you?" asked Celestia and I laughed. "I am a virus actually, Redlight, they called mine, an... acquaintance of mine was Blacklight, an artificial release." I said. "Artificial? you mean... created?" asked Celestia. "Yeah, Hope, Idaho was a military town inhabited by military families of different ethnicities. It was originally built by the US Army, under the guise of testing a self-sufficient base in case of a nuclear attack... it was Project Redlight...2 (memory time) "After the success of Carnival I, a military operation, the government opted to test out the virus on humans. For this purpose, they created an artificial town, Hope, Idaho, filled with a cross section of ethnicities and backgrounds. The cover story was that it was a military experiment to test self sufficient towns in case of a nuclear war, the virus was disguised as a "harmless" solution simulating fallout and the townsfolk eagerly participated in the tests, literally "rolling up their sleeves" for the researchers to inject them with the substance. The project began on June 11, 1964. As part of it, 461 subjects were infected with "DX-1118 A", a variant of Redlight virus, the virus had no effects on humans for over 998 days. On August 8, 1968, Elizabeth Greene's strain of the virus took control of the whole town, turning the people into mindless slaves, protecting her. The town was recaptured after a major battle with the infected the following year, on July 7, 1969, when Blackwatch moved in and incarcerated Greene, who was then only 19 years old, Elizabeth Greene was my mother." I said. "Oh my sun..." said Celestia. "How much can you handle? can you handle visions of death?" I asked. "Yes..." she said. "I can show you vaguely what happened, and Blacklight, this memory is about him and Hope, and another one straight after is again about Hope... and me, the third as about the same as the last." I said. "Ok." said Celestia. I put a hand on her and dug a tendril in lightly, giving her the memories. (Go to 2:10 until the end of that memory and 2:50 until the end of that.) "Oh my..." said Celestia. "Are you ok?" asked Twilight. "They... what they did..." said Celestia with tears falling from her eyes. "I have to live with the fact I survived, but I've removed my guilt from that, my conscience is clear, my mother was killed by Mercer- ahem, Blacklight, but I didn't care when I heard, I never knew her, I spent 16 years in a cell, 4 at war, I'm adapted to being alone, having friends so fast is... more than I can properly handle." I said. "So...what are you?" asked Celestia. "A Runner, a class of infected, a chosen virus, my mother was human before the virus humans look like me, bipedal, but all our faces are different due to genetic makeup similar to your fur colourations." I said. "Pariah... the name that is not a name..." she said. "Yes, I was assigned a 'project' originally I was Project Redlight, then Crusade, and now Pariah." I said. "I'm sorry..." said Celestia. "Don't be, I enjoy it for the most part." I said. "Have- have you killed anypony?" asked Celestia, I saw Twilight freeze and lower her scroll to look at me. "A Manticore mauled a pony, badly, he was almost dead, I put him out of his misery and consumed him, keeping his memories and letting him rest in peace but it was only so I could learn about the world, I then consumed the Manticore that killed him." I said. "I see, for being truthful, I can forgive you, and for putting him out of his misery I thank you." said Celestia, I could tell Twilight was surprised. "What you showed me... why didn't anyhuman tell the authorities?" asked Celestia and I responded with a dry laugh. "The 'authorities' are the ones who authorised the project, the Government themselves." I said and she gasped. "Monsters..." she said angrily. "No, I'm the monster, they're Frankenstein, I could destroy the world with a flick of my hand, I could release my virus and kill everything, but I don't, life is precious." I said. "I agree, there has been no war in Equestria for over 1000 years." said Celestia. "I'm happy for you, truly." I said. "Do you wish to go back?" asked Celestia. "I wish for the opportunity, my country is at war with another currently, I was about to be dropped into enemy territory when I wound up... here." I said. "I have an explanation for that, the legend of Nightmare Moon tells of the stars aiding her escape, but at the moment they started to move in her favour, they created a magic disturbance, my guess is you were very high up when the disturbance occurred and you were transported here?" she asked. "Yes, I was falling in fact, I landed in the forest near Fluttershy's cottage." I explained. "I see, I will try to find you a way home with Twilight, you can adjourn to your quarters if you want." said Celestia and I nodded. I headed to the guest quarters, Twilight showed me them and bid me goodnight, I didn't take in the room and I flopped in the bed and entered my memories. Author's Note Marl. Marl! talk to the people! Huh? ok, hey guys! how're you? you ok? hows the weather where you are? here in Devon it's great! my homie an' I are on holiday! hope you liked the chapter, I provided the facts about the planet btw, my homie would be lost without me, even though he could've used the internet... love y'all! peace. When in doubt, throw the prick out! When in doubt, throw the prick out! As I woke myself up I got out of bed and headed to the door, I opened it up to find two guards, whether to contain me or guard me, I had no idea, but I knew I didn't need either of those. I headed won the corridor and pushed the door to the throne room open. "...and furthermore, I will not tolerate peasants in the Upper City!" came a voice. "And since when do you own the Upper City?" asked the obvious calm voice of Celestia. "Time to work the magic..." I said and turned into my pony form. "AH! Celly! my old friend!" I exclaimed and winked at her, signifying I had a plan. "Hello Pariah! it is so good to see you again." she exclaimed and I hugged her and whispered. "Let me handle this." "I am just in the middle of court, would you like to sit this one?" asked Celestia. "Why not? scooch over." I said and sat next to her. "Go ahead." nodded Celestia. "Currently, my businesses are not doing well-" he cut off as I yawned. "Sorry." I said and he continued. "Because poor ponies keep coming in, I want the Upper City to be inaccessible to the Lower City ponies." said the stallion. "I know what you can do." I said and went over to him and draped a hoof over his neck. "What?" he asked as we walked to the door. "Well, you can sort... YOUR OWN FUCKING PROBLEMS OUT!!!" I yelled and booted his arse, sending him down the courtyard steps. "Well I neve-" he cut off as I said: "Come back when you've got REAL issues, anypony else got anything not worth your Princesses time?!" I asked and some ponies backed off while some stayed. "Take a hike bozos." I said and slammed the castle door. I saw the guards grimacing in an attempt to hold in laughs. "Permission to laugh boys." I said as I walked past and they fell over in fits. I saw Celestia chuckling with a hoof on her mouth. "That was amazing." she laughed. "When in doubt throw the prick out!" I exclaimed. "Come... we- we must... we must talk." said Celestia between laughs. "Sure." I said and we walked through the castle corridors. "I have found a way to get you home, I can open a portal, I will give you a crystal that allows you to come back at any time you want, it is personal to you and only you can use it." said Celestia as we entered an empty room. "Thanks, I will leave in three days, I want to properly say goodbye to the girls first." I said. "Of course." smiled Celestia. "I will take my leave for now, and hop on the train back to Ponyville." I said. "Thank you for visiting Pariah, it has opened my eyes." said Celestia and we shook hands/hoofs as I switched back to human form and then back to pony after the shake, I kissed her hoof. "It has been my pleasure your majesty." I said as she blushed. "Farewell Pariah." she said as I left for the train station again. "This was a productive day." I nodded to myself as I walked the streets. "You there!" came a high pitched shriek, I turned to see the noble I kicked out with some rough looking thugs, and I was in an alleyway... "Ok lads, I can see this going four ways, 1. you beat me up, 2. you beat me up and other... things... 3. I beat you up, and 4. I do much worse." I said. "Get him!" exclaimed the noble, as they charged, I dodged to of them and extended tendrils from my left side which dug into and consumed a thug. The other two freaked and charged me again, I consumed them both at the same time. I turned to the noble with a dangerous look in my eyes, he tried to run but I grabbed him with a whipfist in place of a wing an threw im in the air and sliced him in half, consuming him also. "A very delicious, productive day." I smiled as I walked from the ally to the station. I boarded a train to Ponyville and slipped into memories again, escaping the boring journey. I got off the train and headed for Golden Oaks library, suddenly Pinkie was in front of me. "Hello Pinkie." I said. "You remembered!" she beamed. "Err, of course... you are truly an unforgettable pony." I smiled and we headed to the library. "That's great!" exclaimed Pinkie as we entered the tree house. "Hey Big P!" exclaimed Spike. "Hey Spike, Twilight." I nodded to the unicorn as she came down the stairs. "Pariah! you haven't gone? I thought we found a way to send you home?" asked Twilight. "You did, I came here to say my farewells." I said. "The girls will be happy to know that, they're actually in the kitchen." said Twilight, I walked in and saw the 4 mares at a table having dinner. "Ah! darling! Twilight told us you've gone!" exclaimed Rarity. "Not yet, I'm here to say goodbye first." I smiled. "So, you're finally leavin' us huh?" asked RD. "Hey, don't be like that." I said. "It's fine, at least I don't have to worry about you upstaging me." she said. "I'll miss you to Rainbow Dash." I rolled my eyes. "Well pardner, looks like the buck stops here." said AJ. "Yep, good to know you." I said. "Darling, I do hope you are ok when you get home." said Rarity. "I will be." I said. "Goodbye, I hope you are ok when you get home." smiled Fluttershy. "It's been a pleasure to know you and Angel Fluttershy." I said. "Bye again!" exclaimed Pinkie. "See you Pinkie." I smiled. "Goodbye Pariah, it has been a pleasure having you stay here." smiled Twilight and hugged me. "It's been a pleasure to stay." I replied and moved on to Spike. "Well Spike, goodbye." I said. "See ya." he said and we shook again. -2 hours later- I arrived in Canterlot again and saw Celestia waiting for me. "Come, it is time." she said. "Ok..." "Here is a stone I created for you, it will grant you, and only you, access to our world whenever." said Celestia. "Very well, I will leave now, give Twilight, Spike and the rest of the girls my regards, and tell your sister about Earth's moon, tell the girls I'll visit." I said. "Farewell for now Pariah." smiled Celestia and cast a spell, suddenly Celestia's magic glow turned red and she looked up at her horn in shock. "What...? Pari-!" she started before I disappeared. I bolted up i shock... where was I...? I was among bodies, dead pony bodies... where the hell...? I got up shakily, realising I was in my pony form, probably a good thing. I saw different bodies in places, half pony, half dragon, half... every damn creature ever... there was lore surrounding this... "Draconequus." I said, remembering from that pony I consumed. I walked forward, recovering from whatever happened quickly. I looked ahead to see... Meet the parentsI saw 2 Alicorns, a male and female, one was blue and one was white, I approached them and heard them talking. I looked down at myself and noticed I was a blue and white Alicorn with a red horn, when I tried to change I couldn't, I also had rainbow coloured eyes... what the hell had Celestia done to me?! my cutie mark... fuck... I tried to use the thing Celestia had given me to get back, but it just fizzed out... (his cutie mark is a Blackwatch symbol, kind of the opposite of what he would want.) "We... we are the last Alicorns... but we did it, the Draconequus are defeated." he said and looked up, I went to greet them but suddenly I saw one hiding in a bush ready to pounce. I jumped in front of them and he speared my torso with a claw. I groaned in pain and gripped his claw and slowly made eye contact with him before standing straight sighing, and he looked at me. "This is impossible..." he said. "I know, it's really unfair." I said and punched a hole in his stomach with my hoof, causing him to fall to the floor as I consumed him and his claw to absorb into and heal my torso.(if anypony gets that reference let me know) "God I love being immortal." I said and turned to the two Alicorns "You... you saved me and my babies..." said the white Alicorn and put a hoof to her stomach, she was heavily pregnant. "What did you do to that Draconequus?" asked the blue male. "I used special magic." I lied. "What's your name and rank?" he asked. "I'm the last part of a black ops unit in the army, operating strictly on the shadows, but I couldn't stand by and watch that happen to you both, I'm a Commander, Commander Blacklight, at your service." I said. "My name is King Cosmos, this is my wife, Queen Galaxia, did you see the battle?" he asked. "Unfortunately not, I arrived too late to help, my mission took priority." I said. "What was your mission?" asked Cosmos, I would answer this using my own knowledge. "To contain a... former partner of mine, Zeus, he went rogue and I was to bring him in, however upon returning, I found our base decimated, as a result I was forced to terminate Redlight, I suppose I am now the de facto leader of our organisation, though there is not much to lead." I said. "We know how you feel, a lot of our ponies died in that tragic war, luckily we were told of this attack by a friend of ours, Discord." said Galaxia and a Draconequus appeared out of thin air it seemed. "Ah, hello good pony! you seem to be a strong fellow!" he said, for his name he sounded quite tame... "You must be Discord, pleasure." I said and held a hoof out, which he took into his his claw and shook. "Ah, part of a secret organisation I see!" he exclaimed. "Yes." I stated. "Well, I shall get back to the castle your majesties, Blacklight." nodded Discord and disappeared. "We should get back to." said Cosmos and Galaxia went to walk but fell and I caught her with my wing. "Be careful your highness." I said. "I... I think my babies are coming!" she exclaimed and Cosmos was by her side. "I... how do...?" he asked, I accessed my memories, I had consumed a man who had a mare on a farm and helped her foal at one point... "Ok, lay on your back, get me a bandage Cosmos and wrap it around her tail." I said and he complied. She got on her side after my go ahead and amber coloured liquid started pouring from her vulva and the water sac came out and she started screaming. "OK, you've got to push, but not too hard, or you'll kill your foal." I said and she gave me a scared look. "What?!" she asked. "Calm down, and just push." I said soothingly and she did, I saw it start to crown and it eased out, bit by bit as she screamed... Eventually the membrane started to come out and the first foal was born, and the second was nowhere to be seen. "Where's my other baby?" she asked. "Oh god... I'm gonna have to... reach in and get it out..." I said. "Do it." said Cosmos. "Are you sure?" I asked. "Yes, if it will save my child, I give you permission to get our child out of my wife's womb." he said and I nodded. I reached in with my hooves and she bucked me in the chest on instinct, which I shrugged off, I felt the foal... it had a foot turned back... I started pushing on the leg that had already appeared, at the same time pulled on the missing one and got it out. "It's alive, and their both mares." I said and took a breath and laid down in the grass as the foals got out of their membrane sacs. "Oh my babies..." she said and held them close. "You... you saved my children... I cannot thank you enough." he said. "Think nothing of it." I smiled. "No, I will." he said. "You... you saved them." said Galaxia and shakily stood up, helping her new foals in their first steps. "Celestia and Luna... I will call them Celestia and Luna." "Holy shit..." I mumbled, I had just foaled Celestia and Luna... "Their perfect..." smiled the King. "Let me guess, white one Celestia, blue Luna?" I asked. "Actually I was going to go the opposite of that... but now you say it, it makes sense." said Galaxia "Come, we must get back to the castle, whatever is left of our kingdom will be awaiting news of the foals." said Cosmos, suddenly I noticed the foals starting climb all over me and tugged at my wing and mane, and bit my horn with their gumless mouths. "Ah ah ah, leave Blacklight alone." scolded the King gently and levitated the siblings off of me and put Luna on his back and Celestia on Galaxia's. I got up and walked with them to wherever we were going. "Have you seen our castle Blacklight?" asked Cosmos. "Never had the pleasure." I said as we walked. "It's not far." he said. We walked for a good while until we came across a grand town. "So, how many Alicorns were there?" I asked. "Many, pretty much of them Commanders, all of them friends." said Cosmos. "Dada!" exclaimed Luna. "Her first word! Alicorns always matured faster than normal foals." said Galaxia. "Blacklight!" exclaimed Celestia and it stopped me in my tracks... "She said your name, wow!" exclaimed Cosmos with a laugh as I shook my head and caught up. "Yeah..." I chuckled as we walked ahead, suddenly a huge fairytale-like castle and town in the distance. "Home..." said Galaxia tiredly. Eventually we got to the town and I realised I must be a couple thousand years in the past at least... Hmm... Eventually we got to the grand castle doors, and a flick from Cosmos' horn threw open the door. "WE HAVE 2 BABY FILLIES!" he exclaimed in an extremely loud voice, Galaxia looked over to me to see I was unaffected by the display. A bunch cheers were heard from around the castle. "Wow, he's loud..." I said. "GATHER THE KINGDOM!" he exclaimed and the whole castle got to work. "I must lie down first." said Galaxia with a weak smile and they both went to the bedrooms. "I assume you know how to run a unit Blacklight? running a castle is no different, just ell them stuff to do with the castle if they ask you, BLACKLIGHT IS IN CHARGE FOR NOW!" exclaimed Cosmos. "Are you sure? you don't know me..." I trailed off. "If you're an Alicorn, and military for that matter, you are an ally, especially since you could've left us in that meadow, you helped us birth our children, so yes I trust you." He smiled and helped his wife to bed. "Okkkkk..." I said and looked around, noticing the staff just getting on with it. "I see our good king has left you in charge." said a familiar voice... "Discord." I nodded and he appeared next to me. "I see you helped deliver the foals! that is excellent!" he exclaimed. "Yeah their names are Celestia and Luna." I said. "Ah, makes sense." he said. "How long have you known the King and Queen?" I asked. "Not long, I told them about the ambush, they were istrustful at first, but it happened, all their troops died, and all of my race, only I and maybe a few others remain." he explained. "So, how did this war start?" I asked. "The Orb of Destiny, our race found it, those who looked into it, which was almost all of us, aside from me and the few others I mentioned may be alive, went crazy, it is said those who survive 3 years after looking into the orb are granted great powers." he said. "How long did the war last?" I asked. "3 years ago today, they were about to come into power when the ponies attacked and killed them all." he said. "Good job." I said. "They may have been my family once, but after looking into the orb, they are not the same, they are not the family I knew, not a shred." he told me. "Shame." I said as the King and Queen came out, looking refreshed. "Your highnesses, the kingdom is gathered." bowed Discord. "Good, come Blacklight, we shall show the foals, and tell the kingdom of your bravery, how do you feeling about being a godfather?" he asked and as I was about to say something I stopped again... godfather...? was I ready for that? I mean not a massive responsibility but still... "Ok..." I said hesitantly. "Good, we discussed this at length." smiled Galaxia. "I told her a military man wouldn't want to be a godfather, but she insisted." he murmured to me as the fillies were placed on my back. We climbed steps to a balcony, the fillies laughing along the way, messing around on my back, tugging my mane and playing with my wing feathers. The girls were placed on the rulers backs and they opened two doors to a massive crowd outside cheering. The girls were lifted Lion King style but in magic instead of a monkeys arms and they were giggling to each other. "BEHOLD, THE PRINCESSES, CELESTIA AND LUNA!" exclaimed Cosmos' advisor as the crowd went wild, a hoof held up from the king silenced the crowd immediately. "My loyal subjects! we are here today to celebrate 3 things, one is the birth of my daughters, the other is the fact we have won a long and trying war for our very lives, where our soldiers bravely gave their lives on the battlefield, and the third, is Blacklight, a new friend of the kingdom, he saved my daughters and my wife from death, risking his life in the process, fillies and colts, mares and gentlecolts, I give you, SIR BLACKLIGHT! the godfather of my daughters." exclaimed the king and pushed me forward as I gave a slight wave to the cheering crowd. "What did I get myself into?" I whispered to myself. The Tangled Web I Weave...-18 years later- 18 years after that balcony thing I was now an archiver for the palace, which started not long after, as well as a bodyguard when needed, at first I was skeptical but grew to the role, I stayed in my pony form mostly and was usually curled on a cushion levitating books, papers and such, signing stuff and other things, Celestia and Luna visited me often, always playing around me, though not so much lately due to their age, they started to use their magic to help me around the archives, and we talked, apparently they had private education, despite them not wanting it, I had also learned I had birthed Celestia, as in pulled her out, even though she was the older sister, it was that Luna 'pushed' her way to the front, which is why Celestia was stuck. Both sisters came here to keep me company now, rather than to practise magic seeing as they were now efficient at it, it was the eve of the sister's 18th birthday, and their official coronation as Princesses and the heirs to the throne and they were excited. Discord however... had been rather... distant lately... he had locked himself in his room, after receiving a mail package about 3-4 years ago... I was once more in the archives, content with my life, I was feeling mortal once more, I was even feeling emotions once more, it was good, to say the least, and both sisters filled me with... joy I think is the word, but Celestia acted strangely around me... it was hard to explain. I was also with the sisters, Celestia was next to me, her mane now gaining a rainbow colour, strangely she nuzzled me... rather affectionately. "We're so excited! our first royal ball!" she exclaimed, Celestia had more of an affinity for these things, Luna was more sociable or more lively than her sister. "Indeed, I will attend a little later, I have duties here tonight unfortunately." I said. "Hmm, maybe you'd like some company?" asked Celestia... rather suggestively... "What?" I asked in confusion. "Just wondered if you'd need any help to get things done faster!" she said innocently... "I'll be fine." I chuckled. "I don't think he needs your company sister." came Luna's voice teasingly. "And what would you know?" shot Celestia playfully, I leaned back slightly... I wanted to hear this. "I know that our friend here deserves the company of a real mare." smirked Luna. "A real mare? I am a real mare!" protested Celestia. "Oh? well-" started Luna. "Err, your majesties? they will be ready for you in 10 minutes, as for you Sir Blacklight, King Cosmos requests you wear your armor." said a servant and the girls calmed down, he left and I shifted into my armour without the girls noticing, which was heavy black armor with a hood instead of a helmet, it made me 10 times more intimidating. "Right girls, go get ready." I said and they complied, Celestia looked back at me as she walked with a smile which I returned, she also wiggled her rump... it confused me... I still wasn't accustomed to some things. I walked after them but instead of veering into two different rooms I walked straight. I came across the throne room with my old friends there, Cosmos and Galaxia. "Blacklight, a pleasure as always." said the King, neither of them aged a day since our first encounter, due to Alicorns apparently being immortal. "Yes, it is great to see you." smiled Galaxia brightly. "It's an honour as always." I said with a slight bow, it's not often I bow to royalty, but these two fought hard to get where they are, and I respect that. "Now you're mocking us." chuckled Galaxia. "Perhaps I am." I said. "We shall have you stoned!" exclaimed Cosmos in humour. "Great! where's the weed?" I asked and we laughed, weed was still a drug here apparently. "The party is on in a few minutes, can you escort the girls?" asked Cosmos and I nodded, with Galaxia nudging her husband and winking... I walked down the corridor to their rooms, I saw them leaving as I....wobogepbenjklyk whaaaa...??? my thoughts were just destroyed by the sisters as they left their rooms all made up... they looked... beautiful I think is the word... for want of a better one... holy shit... Celestia had eyeliner on, with bright red lipstick and mascara... she looked amazing... Luna was much the same, with the same as her sisters but different colours. "I am to escort you to the ball-" I cut off as a stallion came from behind me and saw to Luna, he wasn't a guard... "Ah! my date has arrived! you do not need to escort me." smiled Luna and walked away with her 'date' and nodded to her sister at me, seemingly encouraging her to do something. Celestia approached me with a nervous smile. "Can... could you... be my date?" asked Celestia, the question caught me off guard... "I... err..." I trailed off. "Nevermind, let's ju-" I cut her off. "Yes, I would love to be your date for tonight, but I will need to leave the ball after a while." I warned. "It's fine." she smiled, and I draped a wing over her back as we walked. "You look absolutely beautiful." I whispered to her, causing her to blush. "I do?" she asked. "Yeah, you're certain to get the stallion, or mare of your dreams." I said. "I already do." she whispered... I couldn't make it out... We got to the doors to Luna who saw us and chuckled. "You certainly don't waste any time... well, let's do this." said Luna and we walked in, as ponies saw us, some gasped, others winked at me, mostly stallions, and some scowled, maybe jealousy? I saw Cosmos with a scowl, but he turned to me and Celestia and nodded with a smile, it was clear he didn't appreciate Luna's choice. Galaxia beamed when she saw Celestia and I walking together. I escorted her to the top step and took my place beside Cosmos as a guard. "Mares and gentlecolts, we are here today to properly crown Princess Celestia and Princess Luna as the true heirs to the throne, now you both must swear some vows." said the pope as I called him. "Very well, we accept." said Celestia, with a nod from Luna. "Repeat after me, I do hereby swear, to serve my subjects, and to be a fair ruler to all of the kingdom, I shall not knowingly hurt my little ponies and will listen to their plights." he said, and the sisters repeated in unison. "Now for the vow of chastity." he said, I saw their eyes widen, and I could swear Luna's date shook his head, and Cosmos and Galaxia looked confused. "I do hereby swear, to not engage in copulation and to remain chaste until 3 years after marriage." he said, something was off about him during this whole part. They hesitantly repeated and hung their heads afterwards, suddenly the slightly robotic look the pope was rocking during that vow disappeared. "I give you the heirs to the throne, Princess Celestia and Luna!" he exclaimed and the crowd cheered, I noticed Luna's date abandoned her. We went into the crowd and Celestia caught up with me. "Hello, Blacklight." she said. "Hey Celestia, finally happened, eh?" I asked. "So... you don't care?" she asked. "Care about what?" I asked. "The vow of... chastity..." he said. "Why would I?" I asked, and she smiled. "It's just dad is a little angry, as he and mother never had to take it." she said, she seemed to be hiding something... "Ah, well, I'm sure he'll get some answers." I smiled. "Yeah." she said. "I need to go, it was a pleasure to escort you." I smiled and she kissed me on the cheek, as I walked away I blushed... why was I feeling this way? this feeling was foreign to me... I headed back to the library and sorted some books out, the toast to them would occur soon, I was hoping to attend. I decided to check on Discord, to see why he was so reclusive... I knocked on his door a few times and opened the door with my key, opening it to find it empty... he must have went to the toast. (start at 1:30 for the feel I'm going for and stop at 2:30.) Suddenly I noticed something on his table... an orb... I approached it and saw it was the orb... that he warned me about... and a bottle of poison. I looked at the orb and felt myself compelled to look into it... but since I don't really have a brain to influence, it failed and I smashed the orb, knowing it's power. I suddenly pieced it together... I started to run back down to the hall, I descended the stairs quickly as I could, I couldn't use my biomass right off the bat after years of not using it. I burst in as I saw the rulers drink, I knocked the glasses from the girl's magic just in time as the King and Queen collapsed. "Your majesties!" I exclaimed and ran over to them as Cosmos was on a couch, his wife's head resting in his lap. "Blacklight... it was... Discord..." he wheezed as he trailed off as he died. "Cosmos?" I asked in vain. "Wha-" started a guard. "GUARDS! FIND DISCORD! EVERYPONY ELSE LEAVE US!" I yelled to the crowd, who complied, the sisters ran over to me. "Mother? father?" asked Celestia and I shook my head. "Are... are they..." started Luna and I nodded. "I wasn't fast enough..." I said. Celestia wrapped her hooves around me and I returned the hug, she cried into my shoulder slightly and Luna joined her on my other shoulder . "It wasn't your fault." she whispered. "I should've been faster." I mumbled. "You couldn't have been." she replied. "I failed." I said. "No you didn't." soothed Celestia. "You tried your best." said Luna. -2 weeks later- Lately the sisters had been dependant on me to teach them things, and I did, I taught them to deal with death. It also was when I was thrown. We were in the throne room when Discord appeared, he threw the guards against the wall and knocked them out. "It's time girls!" he laughed maniacally and made a clock appear which was ticking. "Not this time Discord..." I said and lunged at him, he tried to cast a spell but I took him through the wall and a spell hit the thing future Celestia gave me and everything went black... Back in the loopSuddenly I shot my eyes open and groaned, I was on my back in pony form... what the hell happened? I rolled my ass over and got up. "The fuck?" I asked, there were fish swimming in the air... and the landscape was checkered... "Discord..." I growled and walked forwards. I looked to realise I was in a field... "Where the...?" I asked, I looked ahead and saw... it was Celestia and Luna! They were engaged in battle with some ponies... I headed over and turned my wings into blades and jumped into the fray, cleaving apart a few enemies who dared hurt my girls, they had a crazed look in their eyes... definately Discord. I cleaved apart a few more before a path to the sisters was clear. "Hey girls! having fun?" I asked, as I smashed a pony's head into the floor, they looked amazed for a second. "Bl...Blacklight?!" asked Celestia. "Yep, the one and only." I replied. "I thought you'd died! Discord said he'd killed you!" she exclaimed as we dodged hooves. "Nope, why? how long was I gone?" I asked. "1982 years..." she said... wow, they were 2000 years old. "I... I'm so sorry..." I said... it must feel as though I abandoned them, it made me feel horrible. "It's fine, I'm just glad you're back." she said and we stopped fighting for a second as we got a break and locked eyes before hugging, blood covering us and a couple scrapes and bruises. "Blacklight!" exclaimed Luna and hugged me as Celestia let go, I noticed all the ponies were dead. "What's the plan to get rid of Discord?" I asked as they cleaned themselves and me with magic. "We... we failed... the castle was destroyed..." said Luna and both sisters hung their heads. "So? a castle is a thing, I'm just glad both of you are safe." I smiled and we kept walking. "We have a plan, but we could have used your knowledge to help, I suppose there would've been no point seeing you always were a lazy flank." smiled Celestia. "You always had a fine flank..." I mumbled. Suddenly a deep blush spread across her face. "Hmm, what about poor old me?" asked Luna, who moved closer to me. "Well, 'old' is not the word I'd 've used..." I said, what the hell was I doing? why was I flirting with two Alicorns?! Two Alicorns I practically raised and birthed?! Two Alicorns... who had grown into beautiful mares... I shook my head and kept moving. "Where are we going?" I asked. "The Tree of Harmony." said Celestia, it was then I also noticed her satchel, the Tree of Harmony? as in the Elements of Harmony? hang on, I remember reading about it... We entered the Everfree and walked to a gorge, which we jumped down no problem. There was a shiny cave in front of us as we landed. "This it?" I asked. "Yes." confirmed Celestia. We entered the cave and I saw a crystalline tree, with what looked like the Elements at the end of each branch. "The Tree of Harmony..." said Luna. "Wow..." I said simply, truthfully I was unimpressed, I had read countless books on this tree. Both sisters flew up, looking beautiful with their wings spread and against the light of the tree. She cast her magic on the tree and the elements showed themselves… "Are you sure?" asked Luna and flew up next to her sister while I jumped up and stood on a branch. "We have managed to discover the only means by which we can defeat Discord and free the citizens of Equestria, even without these elements, the Tree of Harmony will possess a powerful magic, as long as that magic remains, it will continue to control and contain all that grows here." said Celestia and got the Elements. "Good things!" I exclaimed and hopped back down. "Indeed." smiled Celestia as they glided down "Let's take care of him." I said. "We are ready..." said Luna with a smile. "Good, lets go." I said and we walked out. I walked beside the sisters as we headed to Discord, apparently he was on a throne as well... the cheeky fucker... "What happened anyway?" I asked. "He... stole the throne out from under us... we failed in our duties, to you and our parents." said Celestia, almost in tears. "No you didn't, I'm proud of you, and I know your parents would be to." I smiled at them. "Really?" asked Luna. "Yes, you've both acted accordingly rather than letting him walk all over you, you've both turned into the rulers we need, the kind that can fight for their kingdom." I said. "Thank you." said Celestia and we locked eyes again... something about her eyes made me feel odd... same with Luna, but Luna wasn't one for eye contact so... "Yes, that means a lot to us." smiled Luna and I nodded. Suddenly I heard the laugh of what I can only assume is Discord... "Oh, this is so much fun! how about a game of 'Pin the Tail on the Pony'?" asked Discord but seeing me stopped him. "Evening." I said. "Ah! Blacklight! I thought you were dead... you look good for dead." he said. "Cut the shit Dizzy, I know you killed the King and Queen and you stole the throne from the Princesses." I said. "Maybe..." he said. "Playtime is over for you Discord!" said Celestia. "Oh, I doubt it, I mean what can three Alicorns do to me? hungry?" he asked. "Very, in fact I may just eat you." I threatened and he stopped in his tracks, distracted. Suddenly the Elements were bared. "Oh what's this?" he asked as they charged up "You should see yourselves! So stoic" he said. "Fuck you." I simply said as the sisters shot a beam, but it hit me instead and turned me into the beast again, I called it the Guardian, for it protected the peace in Equestria. I roared and grabbed his throat, slamming him into the ground over and over, dazing him. My tendrils started to dig into his body and slowly consume him. "Wait!" shouted Celestia, I looked over to her. "We have plans." said Luna and I retracted my tendrils and allowed the sisters to blast him as he burst out laughing, when the rainbow subsided he had turned to stone. "Checkmate, motherfucker." I said and turned back into a pony. "That was incredible!" exclaimed Luna. "Yeah yeah, I have my own abilities." I waved her off. "We should get back, we have built another castle in a different location." smiled Celestia. "Of course, where is it?" I asked. "In the Everfree forest." said Luna and we walked in, they knew the way by default and led me there. "Wow, it looks amazing!" I said. "Indeed! it has secret slides and traps that are fun to try and escape!" exclaimed Luna. "I bet." I chuckled as we entered, it was dimly lit but a single wave of Celestia's horn fixed that, I saw a lever and saw it was attached to a trapdoor beneath the Princesses, I pulled it while whistling and I heard the terrified yet joyful screams of the sisters as they fell. "Blacklight!" shouted Celestia. "Yes?" I asked and peered into the hole. "Would you mind letting us out?" asked Celestia. "I dunno..." I said. "Blacklight! we will get you back for this!" exclaimed Luna. "I love you to Luna." I replied and walked away. -2 hours later- Hmm, they were down there a long time... I went to check and saw the trapdoor closed. I looked at it and suddenly I saw Luna pull the handle, while I wasn't standing there. "Missed." I said and Luna shook her head as I felt to hooves push my flank. "Oh balls." I said as I fell. "We told you!" shouted Celestia, well I knew some tricks... Anti-gravity spell? check. I activated it and walked out, I deactivated it as I stepped on the original floor, Luna and Celestia were sprawled atop one another as they fell from the left wall. "We should've seen that coming." grumbled Luna and rubbed her head. I saw Celestia wasn't moving so I went over to her. "Celestia? Celly?" I asked teasingly and poked her, suddenly she rolled over and pulled me on top of her and we rolled a few times laughing before stopping and gazing into each other's eyes... "Bundle!" exclaimed Luna and jumped on my back, almost crushing Celesia beneath me. Well, this reunion went well... Author's Note Thanks to all those who've favorited! it means a lot to me and Marl! sorry for the short chapter.
The end is nigh... don't say we didn't warn you!Author's Note Just something to occupy us while we deal with writer's block, so yeah... The end is nigh... don't say we didn't warn you! Pariah… My name… My code, my operation, my designation. I was Project Crusade, now I am Project Pariah. It is all these things, it is my identity, it IS me. But what am I? Human? No. A virus? Quite possibly… Male or female? None, my appearance is that of the males gender however, so I guess... male. I consumed my first person within the first 20 seconds of my life, believe it or not. I remember vividly that I held a scientists finger… and broke it. Then I consumed him, my first words were. "Fuck, this is uncomfortable." words and ideas formed in my head, I had consumed one of the top government scientists. They cut the umbilical cord and put me in a cell, that was where I spent the first 5 years of my life, it was where I made my first escape, where I made my first real kill. They brought me out for exercises and I punched a hole through the guards chest and ran, consuming him and learning military techniques, moves, how guns worked, etc. etc. Another one, I consumed and used as a disguise to get out because of his balaclava, before I could leave however, they gassed me with a red cloud and I passed out. When I awoke it was back in my cell, the same smell, the same noise, the same wall, the same… hell, everything. I groaned and retched up last nights lunch, the guards DNA, heh heh. I laughed at the mortals, the humans as they scurried around me, trying to fulfil their 'purpose' in life, of which they said I am the finality of. I had no time limit to find mine, I could wait for eons if necessary, not that I'm that patient. Humans are on a strict time limit, time itself, mortality, death, these words mean nothing to me, as to me they don't exist, they don't affect me. They can't affect me. They're too scared to affect me. The scientist theorise that I'll stop growing, like stop as in not advance in looks or youth anymore at 18, after that my body will completely succumb to my viral nature, the guards tried to shoot me once, well, conspiracy theorists posing as guards, that's when I discovered my invulnerability. I tore those posers apart with my bare hands, consuming them, their minds were in total belief of what they thought, but what they thought, was real, I mean, I wasn't what they were expecting, then again, I'm not what anyone was expecting, the guard I consumed seemed to think I am the perfect incarnation of the 'virus' as they called it, it hasn't got a name yet, maybe I should be the one to name it, seeing as I'm its incarnation... I've always wanted a name. Then there was Mercer, Alex Mercer is- was the artificial release of the virus, he released it just to spite the world and doom it, and without the virus wearing his clothes he would've probably let it run it's course, it took out 80% of Manhattan's population after all, not including military casualties. Alex Mercer is dead, not when James Heller consumed him, no, but he died when he was gunned down by Blackwatch, the virus just took over where he left off, scrapped the canvas and made a new one, but then Blacklight, as is hi- it's real name started searching for the torn up, missing canvas and piecing it back together like Humpty Dumpty, when he did finally finish it, well, everyone believes he was blown up by the nuke, not me, I know the virus doesn't die, as long as there's a drop of viral paste left, as a defence mechanism, anything it comes into contact with is consumed, be it animal or human, if it's organic it's eaten for sustenance. This is from my own knowledge of my own virus, I mean all I am is… well, viral paste, albeit more solid viral paste than Mercer seeing as I was born like it, I don't even have any bones, I did, but by the age of 1 they were gone, replaced with viral biomass. Testing my limits was fun, I'll admit, lifting tanks and cars was good fun, then the look of surprise on the scientists faces when I threw it at the wall, if all my might was in it, that wall would've shattered, but they would've subdued me again. I can also mould my hands into things, a sword, a hammer, anything I will it to, the only reason I don't escape is they make me happy, I ask for something, I get it, barring release of course. I watch t.v play XB and PS, whatever I want I get, they even let me online so long as I don't divulge government secrets to the general public, which I don't, the things I do know would be to much for their lesser minds to figure out anyway. Then one day… it all changed... I was watching t.v as usual when my cell door opened,(don't ask what case I won't tell) I wondered if it was a malfunction or something, as one of my doors was on an electric lock and the other was a steel door and only the head scientist has the key. I checked it out and found both doors wide open, if this was a test or challenge of some sort, I was ready, I changed my hands into swords and advanced through the doors carefully, ready for anything that might pounce out at me. Anything that did would lead a very short life, and a possibly untimely death, my 'mind' was plaguing me with certain thoughts. I headed out and heard an alarm blaring, the base was on high alert... and I hadn't escaped before it went off... strange... I saw the scientists loading up the trucks and a commander walking through the corridor, I ran at him and he threw a smoke bomb at me, which I hid in for a second, I had grown immune to the gas now, and I jumped out and pounced. -Third Person POV- Meanwhile, outside the base. "Victor 1-1, where are you?" "I just saw Pariah and gassed him he's knocked ou- *static*" "Major?" *static* "Victor 1-1 respond!" Suddenly a door opened and he walked out with his radio, he held it up and shrugged, signifying it was broken. "Here's a new one 1-1, get on." said the sergeant and tossed him a new radio As they drove away they saw Russian MiG's blow up the base. Why had Pariah not killed them? He was not without his morals, being born like a human, but the only thing that remains human about him is his emotions. -4 years later- This war had gone on for 4 years, the End War, the Russians had attacked America and China was on Britain, all-in-all the world superpowers had their hands full. All those sandwich board guys were going around saying they told us so, and rightfully so. Most cities were destroyed in the first wave of the attack by bombings, except NYZ which had recovered from it's second viral outbreak, and was being used as a huge military outpost, where Pariah was undercover as a Major, and his codename was actually Pariah, also known as John Pearson. He had enjoyed military life so far and learned certain human values like... 'friends' which seemed petty to him but he made a few anyway, being careful not to get attached. To be honest the war is all he's ever known, he now had the mind of a soldier. He had fought on the Russian front for two years and the Chinese front for two, consuming some of them, and gaining much knowledge, he also met Heller, who was actually Alex Mercer, in disguise, who had killed Heller slowly after he consumed him by slowly consuming Heller's memories from the inside out, turning Heller into Mercer, Mercer decided to let the war wage, until they had wiped themselves out. They were about to ship out to Russia again for a big battle apparently the one to end all wars. As they were loading up a bright light was seen and Pariah looked up. A missile, not a nuke but... a big one, and another, and another, all heading to different places in America, he jumped off the chopper he was halfway getting on and stared at the one heading for them with his fellow soldiers, while the civilians were panicking and grabbing a few soldiers, telling them to get them out of there, the soldiers knew that there was no escaping this, NYZ was done for, they saw America launch their own missiles to China and Russia as a 'fuck you' Washington was hit first, then Chicago, then Illinois, then... New York. Everyone had resigned to watch the end come. Would Pariah and Mercer be the only survivors... maybe... Pariah closed his eyes as he felt the heat come and opened them as he watched everyone turn to skeletons and then nothing as they were vaporised. He got out alive obviously and headed to a military evac outpost in D.C which was under attack, he was sat in a makeshift hospital under the national Mall and saw it was as busy as a beehive, as the expression goes, he had obviously recovered his meat suit's damage from the blast. (This is basically Of Their Own Accord mission from COD novelised, for character building, skip if you want by going to -1 year later- ) "Pariah 1-1!" said PVT. James Ramirez, a friend of his as he was sat down at the back, James saluted. "Hey James, at ease Private." said Pariah and got up with a hand from Ramirez. "I thought you died man!" he exclaimed and hugged him, which Pariah had learned to return. "Yeah, I thought I was dead to! luckily I had set up camp just within the blast zone to establish communication with you and NYZ and was in the middle of gathering firewood when 'boom!' and you know the rest." he said. "Yeah, a lot of guys here are now lonely and broken with nothing left to fight for, Ivan's gonna have a fight on their hands." he said as they walked the base and he swapped his M9 for a M14 EBR and Pariah picked up a Desert Eagle so he could dual wield with the one he already had. They heard radio chatter around them as they walked the base, as they walked the main room a bomb went off overhead, causing some of the ceiling to spew dust and a little rubble. They headed through the hospital and passed soldiers sat against walls, some with bandages, they saw Corporal Dunn ahead and decided to see the next move. They saw some soldiers not in uniform, some crying some thinking, and there were body bags, at least 6. As they headed forward a soldier ran in with another soldier on his back in the firemans lift as they headed forward. Then a Ranger approached Dunn. "On your feet, we're Oscar Mike!" he said and threw Dunn a rifle, Pariah had a M16A4 Grenadier and two Desert Eagles. and Ramirez had a M4A1 Grenadier w/ Holographic. "Roger, 2-1 Actual out, Listen up! this evac site is getting hit hard! we need to buy em' some time, hooah?!" said Foley. "Hey! Foley! good to see ya." said Pariah. "Major Pearson!" said Foley and saluted. "At ease, I'm here to listen to your orders." he said and cocked his rifle. "Good, you heard, let's move!" said Foley. "All Call Signs, the EZ is under heavy fire!" he couldn't make the rest of the message out but he got the idea. "Overlord! this is Pariah 1-1, my squad were in NYZ and killed! I'm the only one left, but I'm joining Hunter to take back the Evac Zone! Parah 1-1 out!" he said over the radio. "Roger that Major, sorry about your squad but good to have you here, Overlord out!" "Wouldn't want to be anywhere else Overlord, John over and out." he said and ran along the trenches with the squad as bombs went off all around them. They saw a chopper evacuating soldiers and he shouted: "Good luck!" over to them. He saw a soldier get shot through the skull, another was gunned down. "They got eyes on us. Snipers, RPG teams, and heavy arms fire, top floor, 12 o'clock due west of our position." said Pariah. "Overlord, this Hunter 2-1 Actual, requesting air strike, over!" as he said that Pariah heard the things going on. "Move your men up! Go!" "Hooah!" "We're taking too much Fire!" "Incoming! Take cover!" They ran past a tank and kept moving. "Uh, negative Two-One Actual, all available air units are currently tasked with multiple casevacs along the Potomac. Proceed west to the target building and provide support, out." said Overlord. "Roger Overlord, this is Pariah 1-1, saying I'm heading there, hooah!" he said. As they headed to the Department of Commerce building, Rangers all around the field were getting killed by explosions. "Fuck!" yelled Pariah as one went off next to him. "You ok?" asked James. "Fine, Private, keep moving!" "Everyone move up, get out of the killzone! We gotta buy some time for those casevac birds!" said Foley as they exited the trenches. "Overlord, 2-1 Actual! We're screening west with no adjacent support, and friendly victors from BCT One are hauling ass past us, over!" said Foley. "We need support Overlord or we're mincemeat!" exclaimed Pariah "Roger. Brigade Combat Team One has already peeled off an LAV to provide suppression, over." "About damn time!" said Pariah They took cover at a wall and Ramirez thinned them with his sniper. "Hunter 2-1, Pariah Actual, this is Overlord. SEAL teams are maneuvering into position on the northwest corner of the target building. Link up with them on the top floor and eliminate enemy fire teams, over." "So we get SEAL support huh? better than nothing!" exclaimed Pariah as he fired from cover and hit some RPG's As they moved up to the front of the building an M2 Bradley IFV was firing at the upper floors, suppressing the enemy. "Fuck you!" yelled Pariah and jumped cover, shot at the upper floor hitting a few enemies and ran at a window, diving in and slitting a soldier's throat with his two fingers. "All right! BCT One's LAV has them suppressed! Get ready to move on my mark! Ready! Go go go! Move up! Move up!" yelled Foley. Pariah, as he fired at enemies, saw James dragging an injured soldier to cover. "What are you doing kid?" he asked, killed the last few and turned killing a few in the next room, suddenly an enemy was on the buildings steps, aiming for Ramirez before a burst fire hit him in the chest, neck and head. "Ramirez! Move up and stay out of that LAV's line of fire!" yelled Foley as Pariah put the M16 on his back with a strap and pulled his Desert Eagles out Under cover fire, they entered the Department of Commerce. "Move up! Go! Go!" said Foley, Pariah came up from behind and shot two enemies by the door and got his rifle, killing three more enemies, he shot one in the head, and in the leg three times which finished him and one in the chest and Ramirez and the marines took the rest out. "Use your grenade launchers! Move in!" said Foley. As Pariah thought it was over he walked forward and was hit in his armor with a bullet, he turned and saw enemy soldiers on the balcony, he backed up and shot them before diving behind cover next to Ramirez. "Shit!" said Pariah and huddled against the cover, leaning out to shoot every now and then. He stood up and ran at the balcony, used a desk for a height advantage and pulled himself up, crouching and tagging them, he hit one in the head, and another he sprayed their chest. "Tangos down." he said and jumped down by the hallway entrance. They passed the lobby into the hallway. "Overlord, this is Pariah 1-1 Actual, be advised, we are inside the building." said Pariah. "We are now heading to the upper floors." said Foley. "Roger, Overlord copies all." They engaged hostiles in the hallway, in a courtyard. "Fuck! no breaks for us." said Pariah and shot at the enemy blindly from the hip, killing about 2. "Tagged em'!" he exclaimed with a small laugh of victory, suddenly a bullet flew over him and hit the cover above his head. "Woah!" he laughed and leaned forward because of the impact, he stood up and held down the trigger, firing multiple burst shots and killing the last few. "Fire team has been suppressed in Section One-Alpha." "And it was a doozy." said Pariah "Solid copy, 1-1 & 2-1 Actual." They headed to the stairs and headed up. "Overlord, this is Pariah 1-1 Actual, we are nearly at the mezzanine." "Tell the LAV from BCT One to hold their fire, over." said Foley. "Copy that, 1-1 & 2-1, good hunting boys." said Overlord. "You heard the man, no mercy." said Pariah to the men behind him as they headed to the balconies. Pariah walked across the balcony weapon first and turned left sharply and gunned down three hostiles. They took cover behind a wall and Ramirez took out the last hostile and they moved on. "Hostiles suppressed in Section Two-Echo." said Pariah. "Roger that, 1-1." They moved up a pile of rubble up to the fourth floor, the damaged Capitol Building was seen out in the distance. "That's the freakin' Capitol Building, man." said Dunn "We'll pay the bastards back." said Pariah as they moved up. "Hunter 2-1 and Pariah 1-1, be advised, hostiles on the southwest corner of the fifth floor are hammering the evac site, over." "Roger Overlord, Pariah 1-1 moving to assist." "Solid copy, Overlord. We are Oscar Mike to the fifth floor with Pariah, out." They engaged more hostiles on the fourth floor and on a balcony across them, Ramirez planted C4 on a SAM site sitting outside just after the men pulled the tarpaulin and destroyed it, and the hostiles were eliminated as Pariah had his Desert Eagles and blasted 4 tangos in the chest, sending them flying. He got ammo from a drop and got his rifle, and shot in the window with Ramirez, taking out the 5 hostiles. "Enemy fire team eliminated in Section Four-Charlie." said Foley "Copy that, 2-1." They headed up the stairs to the fifth floor. "Overlord, We're on the fifth floor, proceeding to the southwest corner." "Copy that, Hunter 2-1." said Overlord. Shadows were seen across the hall. "I got movement." said Dunn, Pariah and Ramirez ran and caught three of them and Pariah killed them off. "Watch your sectors, check those corners." said Foley. We moved in the next room and Ramirez took out the 2 RPG scumbags and Pariah moved into the next room, taking out 2 mobile tangos and taking cover. We could hear a Ranger on the radio "Hunter 2-1 needs support." "We are leaving!" "Take out that BTR!" Pariah got up and blasted the enemy with repeated bursts, eventually all the hostiles were dead. "All Hunter units, I have a visual on the enemy's crow's nest on the southwest corner. Move forward and clear it out." said Foley. "This is Pariah, any other units in view of the crows nest, concentrate fire." We moved through the halls and saw a wall which we climbed and moved to the left, eyeing the crows nest entrance. Pariah threw a grenade at the wall, it bounced off and exploded, and they heard the enemies screams. They saw arms legs and head everywhere and Pariah executed them with his Deagle. "Overlord this is Hunter Two-One Actual. We have secured the enemy's crow's nest on the southwest corner." he said as Pariah moved from body to body pointing his gun and shooting where the head is. "Overlord copies all. The evac site at the Washington Monument reports several transports away, but they are still vulnerable. Can you provide support from your position, over?" "Yeah, we got shitload of Javelins over here and-" he cut off as he hoisted a soldier's body off of something it was slouched over. "A 50. cal rifle, which I'll man." he said and rolled the body out of the way, taking position. "We'll dig in and burn through their ammo! Out! Scan for targets to the south of the Washington Monument!" said Foley and Pariah directed the rifle. He shot one who was crouched and aimed the rifle just in front of a running guy and fired, killing him as he ran, he took out the rest accordingly. "All callsigns on this net, this is the Washington Monument Evac Site! We're holding our own but have glassed enemies to the west and are taking fire from that direction!" "1-1 & 2-1 be advised, you have enemy foot mobiles converging on your position...stay frosty." said Overlord "Hostiles in the perimeter! Open fire! Open fire!" said Dunn. "Keep em' off me, I need to reposition!" said Pariah and put the rifle on his back. "Taking fire! Taking fire! Foot mobiles in the perimeter!" said Dunn. Pariah got on a window and fired at the enemy, taking each out with a burst, one jumped the barricade as he reloaded and swung for him with a rifle butt, Pariah dodged and tripped the Ruski up, sending his face on a spike. "Hunter 2-1, Pariah 1-1, this is Overlord, recommend you clear outta there...I see a mass of foot-mobiles converging on your position..." said Overlord. "Hell no! I ain't leaving the men!" said Pariah and shot a couple last enemies before manning the sniper again on a wall and providing support for some troops. "Negative negative! I have eyes on enemy armor and helicopters advancing on the evac site from the south and southwest! Ramirez, use some of this ordinance to take out the enemy vehicles! Move! Ramirez! Take out those vehicles! The evac site is taking heavy fire! Enemy vehicles are closing in! Take 'em out!" Ramirez and his team grabbed Javelins and fired on enemy helicopters and BTRs, providing support for the evac site. "Hunter 2-1 and Pariah 1-1, you've bought the evac site valuable time! Well done! Now get your ass to the roof ASAP...you are in danger of being overrun!" said Overlord as Pariah shouldered the rifle with a spare strap. "Roger that, we're headed to the rooftop! Everyone, move out! Get to the roof and RV with the SEAL Team! Move! Move!" shouted Foley as they legged it. They began to evacuate from the crow's nest. A Ranger blew down a door with a shotgun. They headed up the stairs. At the second set of stairs, a Russian crashed in from the door and attacked. Ramirez killed him. The team moves around the balcony and climbed up the rubble to the roof. "We're out of time! Go!" "Hostiles closing in!" "We got Ivan on our ass!" yelled Pariah and turned and shot a few rounds. "Move up! Go! Go!" "There's no time! Get to the roof! Go! Go!" yelled Foley. They reached the rooftop where a Black Hawk was waiting. Russians were seen coming up from below and they jumped on, Ramirez mounting one gun and Pariah the other. "Hunter, this is Dagger Two-One. We are in position at the LZ on the rooftop, what's your status?" "We're on our way. Hostiles following close behind." said Foley. As they took off, across from them, a Russian helicopter fired its missiles but missed. A Ranger fired a Stinger and shot it down. Dagger Two-One took off and flew towards the Washington Monument. "Overlord, this is Pariah, we are on the chopper and away, we linked up with the SEALs, what is the current Monument situation? over." "Negative 1-1, they're still pinned down by infantry and light armor from the World War 2 Memorial. Doesn't look good from here, over!" said Overlord. "Shit... tell them to hold on Overlord, we'll give them fire support!" said Pariah "Overlord, we'll do what we can from the air, out!" said Foley to reinforce my point. "First wave of civilian transports are delayed. Reaper Two, proceed with second-stage evacuation. Authorized personnel only." Dagger Two-One flew towards the WWII Memorial. "Dagger Two, SAM launch! Break left break left!" said Dagger Two-One. SAM missiles were launched from the WWII Memorial, Little Bird Dagger Two-Two was shot down. "Overlord, Dagger Two-Two is hit and going down!" Dagger Two-One flew over and around the WWII Memorial. Ramirez had a shot of them and Pariah covered the forces on the road, he shot a group of them harassing the troops when Dagger did a 180* and left him facing the RPGs. "RPG teams at the World War 2 memorial...pull that trigger till they don't get up." said Dagger. "Roger!" he yelled over the machinegun fire as he blasted the positions, dagger did another 180* and Ramirez fired. Ramirez fired the minigun and obliterated everything at the Memorial, spraying at RPG teams and light armor vehicles. "Hammers Two-Three, Two-Four, and Two-Five are on the way. Ground units at LZ four, fall back now." An enemy Havoc took off from the Memorial. "Enemy gunship lifting off twelve o'clock, War Memorial." Pariah shot it's pilot and sprayed it's cockpit, taking it down. Ramirez continued to wipe out remaining enemies at the Memorial. "This is ... Two-Five at LZ one! ...(unclear)...I can't...we can't carry any more people! We're gonna have to leave some of them behind!" "Take as many as you can, and then some Two-Five!" yelled Pariah, he wasn't like Mercer, he saw human life as valuable, flawed but even Mercer and him were flawed... "Dagger Two, the Washington Monument is taking fire from the main road!" "On it!" said Pariah and blasted the main road, eliminating the enemies. "Overlord to all units, Evacuation Order April, I repeat, Evacuation Order April! Everyone get the hell outta there!" "Get your ass on that transport now! We are leaving!" SAM missiles were launched from the John F. Kennedy Department of Justice, shooting down Little Bird Dagger Two-Three and damaging them. "Overlord, we're hit, but still in the air. We've got a massive SAM battery at the Department of Justice...we're going in!" said Foley as Pariah and Ramirez fired at the RPGs inside the building. "We're losing attitude control!" "Hold it together pilot!" shouted Pariah. "Take us up! If we're going down, we're takin' those SAM sites with us!" said Foley. "Hell yeah! James, lets do this!" said Pariah. Dagger Two-One flew over the roof of the building. Ramirez and Pariah fired at the SAM battery, but the Russians launched their missiles. "SAM launch! Hang on!" Dagger Two-One was hit and started to spin towards the ground. "We're hit! Mayday mayday, this is Dagger Two-One. We are going down at grid square Papa Bravo 2..."and the copter crashed... -1 year later- As General Pariah prepared to test run a new way of delivering troops behind front lines, he was nervous even though he is not human. He hadn't used his powers because he wanted to know what it felt to be human, he was going to test his powers here, Russia, he was testing a new drop strategy, and he wasn't getting extracted until the invasion, he was told it was likely a one-way trip, but he needed to use his powers again, and seeing as the U.S have no allies in this part of Russia he could go wild, test some new viruses maybe? pave way for the invasion? "Ok, you're strapped in, good look Pariah 1-1." said Overlord. "Thanks Overlord, although I get the feeling you enjoy this..." said Pariah. "Maybe 1-1, maybe, but that's for me to know, and you to find out, over." he said as he was about to be dropped, the pilot shouted. "Alright you unlucky bastard! we got 10 seconds!" he yelled, "9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4 ,3 ,2 ,1, 0!" he yelled and Pariah was dropped.
The greater the power, the more dangerous the abuse.As Pariah dropped from the plane, he curled himself up to slow his fall a little, what he saw unnerved him... he was above a forest... Luckily he had dropped with his survival backpack, plenty of MREs and camp supplies. And above him, the plane was missing, not necessarily good... Suddenly the voice said: "20,000ft" what? it should be much higher... "Fuck!" he yelled and pulled his chute, he landed just outside of the forest, and burnt the chute so no enemy would see it. "Ok... time to move." he said and got his M16 ready, with his 50.cal sniper he carried on his back ever since Washionton, which had come in handy more then once. He moved through the woodland, it was a rather nice forest... to nice... pastel, come to think of it... "This ain't Russia." he said and put his M16 on his back and took his face mask down so it was around his neck like a neck warmer. He saw a cottage in the distance. "Hmm, see if anybody's home..." he said and approached, before he could knock, he saw a note on the door. 'To whomever it may concern' 'Gone out, preparing for Summer Sun Celebration, please try to find me there... if you don't mind...' 'Fluttershy' And it was signed with three butterflies... "Pariah, you are not in Kansas anymore..." said Pariah, he must have landed... somewhere else... "Overlord this is Pariah Actual, I am not at DZ, repeat not at Drop Zone, how copy?" *static* "Overlord, this is Pariah 1-1 Actual, Callsign: Hemorrhage, I repeat, not at DZ, have landed... somewhere else, how copy? over." he said Nothing... "Well this is a giant bag of balls!" exclaimed Pariah, and a rabbit approached him. "Hey buddy, don't suppose you know where civilization is? I'm kinda lost." he said. Suddenly the bunny gave a look of sympathy and patted his boot and pointed toward some smoke stacks- oh, smoke stacks... embarassing... "Thanks buddy, have some... chocolate?" he asked and unwrapped a candy bar, the bunny eagerly nodded his head and grasped it, seemingly muttering "Thank you." before hopping off in joy. "I'm going crazy." he said and took his helmet off, revealing his slicked back hair. He put it in his backpack and kept walking toward the smoke. Suddenly he felt a rush of air and looked u- THE FUCK?! A fucking. flying. motherfucking. chariot. overhead pulled by two winged... horses? Son of a bitch... He got to the town before it as it passed over once to come in for a landing. He crouched on a hill outside and looked down two binoculars at the townsfolk... Fuck his life... Horses... everywhere... he even heard talking and made out a few words... Hmm, time for something unconventional... If he could just picture himself... It had been a while since he'd used his powers. Perfect! He looked himself over... he had two silver shoes on... made of literal silver, a giant goddamn horn and two giant goddamn wings, and a dna strand on his ass. Oh well, better to blend in... Suddenly he heard a scream, faint but for his senses, clear as a bell. He headed toward it and saw a mauled pony, by some kind of animal. He crouched over the pony, a unicorn... "Please..." groaned the pony. "Thank you." he replied, the pony looked confused before seeing tendrils attach to his body and absorb him. Nothing could have been done for him, he was dead, and now Pariah knew how to do magic, well basics at least. He headed back to town with his new knowledge, unfortunately some of the ponies memories were clouded due to his state before consumption. As he walked, he saw what he must assume is the town hall... He entered and saw a young mare sitting behind a desk. "Ahem, I was wonderin-" he stopped when she gasped and bowed... "Your majesty!" she said. "Err what?" he asked. "You are an Alicorn! you must be royalty!" exclaimed the mare... hang on... the wings... the horn, no other horse had both... "Err, yeah, but not from here, I have travelled a great distance, I seek a normal life, I was wondering about accommodation here..." he said. "Well, you can take the library! it is the Golden Oak in the middle of town! just have it, you have traveled a long way, I'm sure Mayor Mare won't mind, with that pack, I assume you have traveled quite the distance." smiled the secretary and grabbed the keys in her mouth, suddenly on instinct he took the magic in a red misty aura. "Grazie." he said to make himself sound foreign. "Oh my, is that your language?" asked the mare. "Si- err yes, ahem." he coughed and walked out. Suddenly he jumped and back flipped out of the way of the chariot that landed where he was stood, he used his new wings to make it seem like it was them that did it, and not his natural jumping ability. "Guys! watch out! you nearly hit somepony!" said a male voice from the chariot. "Sorry... sir... we needed... to land..." panted the horse driving it, he looked to be military judging by his armor. "At ease son." said Pariah and lifted the harness off of him with his teeth. "Thanks... sir..." said the horse and immediately bowed. "I'm not royalty from around here dude, just here to live life." he said and the guard straightened up. "I'm sorry they almost hit you, if you'd like to file a complaint, don't hesitate." said a purple horse who looked like her dragon... ok, I'm going to ignore the dragon factor, but by the way she looked back at him he had forced her to say sorry. "I'd like to file a complaint that you're scaly friend there is making you apologise, when it wasn't your fault." said Pariah and it brought a smile to her face, which looked cute... "That can be arranged." she said. "What's your name sweetcheeks?" he asked. "Twilight, Twilight Sparkle, and yours?" she asked with a blush, now noticing his wings and horn. Considering her name he would have to choose carefully... "Pariah, my name is Pariah." he said, his given name was perfect! "Pariah? what an exotic name, are you royalty?" asked Twilight. "Was, at one time, then I decided to escape, I was a soldier fighting a war for a few years." he said. "War? there hasn't been war in Equestria for 1000 years..." said Twilight. "It wasn't here, it was far away, I've been trying to get away from that life." said Pariah as they walked. -Pariah's POV- "Twilight, you need to try with ponies." said Spike as a pink pony appeared out of thin air. "Hello" said Twilight after a deep breath to the pink pony. The pink one took in a massive breath and flew off, I had to do the horse- err pony limbo to avoid her. "Well, that was interesting alright..." she said. "Anyway... I am new here as well, may I accompany you for the time being?" I said as I recovered from my Hermes-like limbo. "Very well, follow me" she said and walked away. The dragon sighed and we followed her. "So, what exactly are we doing?" I asked. "Preparing for the annual Summer Sun Celebration." she said as I walked beside her, I glanced at her. "Rrrriiiigghhhhhttt." I said like Kronk from the Emperor's New Groove. She sighed. "It is the legend of the Mare in the Moon, who is set to return and bring everlasting night "on the longest day of the thousandth year"–the summer solstice–since her defeat, which is also the thousandth year of the Summer Sun Celebration. Princess Celestia, Nightmare Moon may have been imprisoned for a thousand years, It is a celebration of Celestia imprisoning her and restoring the sun to Equestria." said Twilight. "If you believe the legends." said Spike. "Something I've learned? always believe the legends." I said. "So you believe me?" asked Twilight. "Look, I've found some strange things during my time here, if magic exists, why can't this tale be real?" I asked. "I suppose..." said Twilight. Suddenly I saw something which caught my eye There was a magazine article with the front page as a picture of Celestia walking to the palace. I shook my head and concentrated on what the dragon was saying. "The summer sun celebration official overseer's checklist! 1# banquet preparations-Sweet Apple Acres." said the dragon as we approached the place aforementioned. "That name tho." I said. "Yeehah!" came a voice. We turned and saw an orange pony running at a tree. "I tried that once... it left a dent in the tree and my head." I said as it made me recall when I was testing the viruses limits. "That must've hurt." said the dragon. "You don't say." said Twilight. She bucked a tree and all the apples fell into baskets. "Haha, I wish that's what happened when I did it." I chuckled, the tree fell over when I did it... and traveled a few hundred yards... "Let's get this over with." sighed Twilight. "Right away ma'am." I said as we approached the mare. "Good afternoon, my name is Twilight Sparkle." she said. "I'm Pariah." I said nonchalantly. She shook both our hand/hoof suddenly. "Well, howdy do, mrs. Twilight, mr. Pariah, pleasure making your acquaintance." "Howdy, girl, good to see someone else who talks like this." I said in the same accent, I consumed people all around the world, you pick up accents, what can I say? "I'm Applejack, we here at Sweet Acres sure like making new friends- sheesh, your hoof is warm!" she said, the virus increaded my body heat quite a bit if I remember, I turned down my body temp to normal. "Always nice to meet someon- err somepony new." I said, still getting used to this. "say, what're you?" she asked. "Alicorn, not from here." I said. "I see that." she said. "Err, friends? actuallllllyyyyy I err-" she said as she was still shaking us. "So, what can I do you for?" she asked. Both our hands/hoofs were still shaking. I grabbed my arm to steady it and it fell to my side. Twilight smiled awkwardly and Spike grabbed her hoof and it stopped. She glared at him and he chuckled. "Well honey, we're lookin for some apples, an' we hear yours are the best around." I said in the accent. "Ahem, yes, we're in fact here to supervise preparations for the summer sun celebration." said Twilight. "Err, that, you're in charge of the food darlin'?" I said. "We sure are, sir, would you err, like to sample some?" she blushed. "Please, as long as it doesn't take to long." I said as she rushed away and rang a bell. "Souuuuup's on everypony!" she called. Suddenly we were almost trampled by a lot of ponies. We came to at a table and Applejack popped up next to us. "Now, how bout' I introduce y'all to the Apple family?" she said. Suddenly there were at least 17 ponies around us. "Stereotypes much?" I mumbled. "Thanks, but we really need to hurry-" started Twilight as a pie was thrust in her face. "This here's Apple Fritter, Apple Bumpkin, Red Gala, Red Delicious, Caramel Apple..." after that I lost count as the dishes piled up until she said. "Big Mcintosh, Apple Bloom aaaannnnnd, Granny Smith, up and at em' Granny Smith, we got guests." she finished as she put an apple in Twilights mouth and put one in my hoof. The granny stirred. "Err, what? Im'a comin." she said. "Look, it's like you're already part of the family!" she exclaimed. Twilight spat out the apple and I rubbed mine on my chest and took a bite. "I'm usually a meat guy, but damn this is a good apple" I said, making sure to keep the 'meat' part on the down-low, it was good... ot the human part of me, but the goodness lasted 2 seconds before it turned to ash in my mouth... "Well, I can see the food situation is handled, so err, we'll be on our way." said Twilight. I finished my apple and disintegrated the core. "Aww, aren't you gonna stay for brunch?" asked a small pony who blinked her eyes a couple times. "Sorry but, we have an awful lot to do." said Twilight. "Aww." said everypony. "Hey don't y'all worry, I'm a sure we'll see y'all round." I said. "Fine." said Twilight finally. Everypony cheered, Twilight looked less than impressed. We had apple... everything basically. Come around midday we were stuffed. "That was amazing, I hadn't realised it'd been so long since I'd eaten," I said. "What's amazing? the food? or Applejack?" asked Twilight, teasing me. "Quiet you." I said. I suddenly noticed Twilight lagging We got to the top of the hill and Spike announced. "That's the food taken care of, next is weather." said Spike. "Ugghh, I ate too much pie." she groaned. "One can never have to much pie." I said. "Yeah right..." said Twilight. "Weather? look up?" I asked. "No! the Pegsi ,should clear the sky." said Spike. "Come again?" I asked. "Who controls the weather where you're from?" asked Spike. "The weather moves on it's own, we must bear the elements, rain, sleet or shine." I said. "That sounds scary! and dangerous!" said Spike. "Can be." I said. "Hmm, there's supposed to be a Pegasus pony named Rainbow Dash clearing the clouds." said Spike. "Well, she's not doing a very good job is she?" asked Twilight as she was thrown into the mud by Rainbow Dash. "Youch, you ok?" I chuckled. "Err, excuse me?" laughed the pegasus as I helped Twilight up. "Haha, damn!" I said. "Let me help you." said Rainbow Dash, amusement evident in her voice. She moved a rain cloud above her and bounced on it until the rain was gone from it. Twilight looked less happy now she was wet. "Oops, I guess I overdid it, how about this? my very own rainblow dry." she said and encircled Twilight quickly. "Hello, dirt pile? pile of dirt? dirt? I'm looking for some dirt, have you seen some dirt? it's about yea high, kinda looks like dirt, hello? dirt? hey someone took away this dirt! where'd all the dirt go? well, I better check with this dirt over here, hey! have you seen some dirt!? it looked pretty brown and was earthy, kinda like dirt, goes by the name of earth if you've ever heard of it before, also known as dirt... it's in the ground, it actually IS the ground have you seen it? ground, dirt? really fine powdery dirt? have you seen it? a dirt pile? it's in a pile, well not really, it's kinda flat, but it's dirt, have you seen it? no? well fuck you then!" I said. "No no, no need to thank me, you're quite welcome." she said. "Nice afro, suits you." I said as Twilight's hair was puffed up and me and Rainbow Dash laughed, I never unserstood how they couldn't change their hairstyles at will like me. "Haha!" we both laughed, she fell over in laughter as did Spike. "Lighten up." I said as I saw the unamusement on her face. "Let me guess, you're Rainbow Dash?" asked Twilight. "THE one and only." she said and stood up proudly with a hoof on her chest. "Ego much?" I asked. "Why? you heard of me?" she asked. "We heard that you're supposed to be keeping the sky clear." she said and sighed. "Names Pariah, professional comedian and one of the only current Alicorns in Equestria." I bowed with sarcasm in my voice "Tell me a joke then." said Rainbow Dash. "this is the story of four people named Everypony, Somepony, Anypony and Nopony, there was an important job to be done and Everypony was asked to do it, Anypony could've done it but Nopony did it, Somepony got angry about that because it was Everypony's job, Everypony thought Anypony could do it but Nopony realized that Everypony wouldn't do it, Consequently, it wound up that Nopony told Anypony, so Everypony blamed Somepony." I said, mastered the art of using 'pony' instead of 'body' hah! She burst out laughing. "I'm Twilight Sparkle and the Princess sent me to check on the weather, Pariah is new as well, so he' tagging along." she said. "Yeah yeah, that'll be a snap, I'll do it in a jiffy, just as soon as I'm done practising." she said. "Practising for what?" asked Twilight. "I knew there was a bloody catch, just once I'd like to just ask someone for help and for them to say 'sure, let's go, right now! no strings attached! sweet Celestia...'" I said using a curse I'd heard more than once. "The Wonderbolts!" she said and pointed to poster of a group of ponies. "They're gonna perform at the celebration tomorrow! and I'm gonna show em' my stuff!" she exclaimed. "That's... one way to get what you want." I said with a grin. "What?" she asked. "Nevermind." I said. "Wait... THE Wonderbolts?" asked Twilight. "Yep." replied Rainbow. "The most talented flyers in all of Equestria?" she asked again. "Thats them." she replied. "Please, they'd never accept a pegasus who can't even keep the sky clear for one measly day." said Twilight. "Clever." I whispered and she winked at me. "Hey! I could clear this sky in ten seconds flat." she said. "Go on then, prove it, I'll time ya." I said. She then darted around clearing clouds. She finished and hovered in front of us. "What'd I say? ten seconds flat, I'd never leave Ponyville hangin'." she said. "Actually it was 9 but good try." I said. "Haha, you should see the look on your face." said Rainbow Dash to Twilight and Spike. "She's right, that surprise tho." I laughed. "Ha! you're a laugh Twilight Sparkle, and Pariah you're a funny, err... pony I guess? oh well, I can't wait to hang out some more!" she said. "Count on it." I said as she flew away. "Wow! she's amazing!" said Spike. "Why not marry her?" I asked. "Because err..." he started. "Nah, I'm just messin' with you." I said. He flicked Twilights new afro and laughed. She walked away. "Wait! it's kinda pretty once you get used to it!" he said. "That's true, it really does look pretty on you..." I said as we entered the tailors. "Pretty?" asked Twilight and I stopped in realisation of what I said. "Decoration! beautiful..." sighed Spike. "True dat, very intricate designs." I said. "Yes, the decor is coming along nicely, this oughta be quick." said Twilight. "I don't think anything will ever be as pretty as- err nevermind let's just check on this." I said. "You were going to say Twilight!" teased Spike. "I was not!" I protested. "Anyway, I'll be at the library in no time." said Twilight, ignoring our little argument. "Ok." I said, I'd chat with her about the library later. "Well, it is beautiful indeed." agreed Twilight. "Not the decor, her..." sighed Spike. "Dude, mutual respect, +1 for interspecies relationships, hell ya!" I said. "No, no, no, no, oh! goodness no" said the white pony. "How are my spines? are they straight?" he asked. "Spot on dude, be smooth, suave, and don't be too obvious." I said. "Good afternoon-" started Twilight, who'd let us gents talk. We caught up "Just a moment please! I'm in the zone, as it were, oh, yes! sparkle always does the trick, does it not? why, Rarity, you are a talent, now, um, how can I help yo- oh my stars, darling! whatever happened to your coiffure?!" she asked. "Oh you mean my mane? oh well, it's a long story, we're just here to check on the decorations, and then we'll be out of your hair." "Or coiffure, as it were, respectively." I added. "And my! what nice shoes you have adorned around your hooves!" she said to me. "Oh, what? this? something from my homeland, anyway we'll be out of your-" I started. "Out of my hair? what about your hair?" she asked Twilight. "I think it suits her, although it is messy." I said as Rarity pushed Twilight. "Wait, where are we going? help!" she said. "Dude, if you want her, you need to speak up, ask her out, and stop staring." I said as I turned his head to face me. "But I can't!" he said. "Try, I can barely control myself around... a certain pony, I feel like I want to just kiss her and confess my love, although I doubt she'd ever return it, and I don't care as long as she's happy." I said as we followed them, I exaggerated a little but still... "So what do I do?" he asked, not asking me who I meant luckily. "Talk to the mare, it's gonna be a helluva lot easier for you to ask her out than me asking mine, find out what she likes, be interesting, keep her happy and you'll do fine, it doesn't have to be now, you could try later, get used to this new feeling first, work it out with yourself, decide how you want to proceed." I told him. "Thanks." he said. "No problem." I said as we entered a building. "No, no uh uh, too green, to yellow, too poofy, not poofy enough, too frilly, too... shiny, now go on, my dears, you were telling me where you're from." said Rarity as she pulled...I think it was a corset out. Ouch... "I've... been... sent... from... Canterlot... to-" she started before Rarity let go and she went flying. "Are you ok? that corset... youch" I chuckled. "Canterlot!" exclaimed Rarity. "Not me." I said. "Oh, I'm so envious, the glamour, the sophistication, I've always dreamed of living there!" she said. "sophisticated? sounds nice." I said. "Nice? nice?! it's perfect! I can't wait to hear all about it!" she said. "Uh huh." I said. "We're going to be the best of friends, you, you and I." she said and got in between me and Twilight. "Err, sure…" I said. "Emeralds?! what was I thinking? let me get you some rubies!" she said and ran off. "Quick! before she decides to dye my coat a new colour!" exclaimed Twilight and we ran. Spike sighed in happiness. We ran out and I chuckled. "Dude, I think you're on the level of smitten, it's a really nice feeling, isn't it?" I asked, he was lollygagging so I put him on Twilights back, who didn't mind. "Yeah, wasn't she wonderful?" asked Spike to himself more than us. "Focus Casanova, what's next on the list?" asked Twilight. "You know Casanova was famed for mainly his sexual exploits? and Casanova once played the card game piquet for 42 hours without a break." I informed. Twilight blushed at the first part... she looked nice with that blush... "Really? wow, anyway, err, music! it's the last one!" exclaimed Spike. Suddenly we stopped as we heard whistling. We entered a clearing and a yellow pegasus was hovering in front of some birds that were the source of the singing. "Oh my, err stop please everyone." she said and flew up to a blue bird. "Not bad..." I mumbled. "Excuse me sir, no offence but your rhythm is just a teenie, tiny bit off." she said. 'She knows her music' I thought. "Follow me please, a 1, 2 3-" she cut off. "Hello!" said Twilight and scared the girl and the birds out of their minds. "Hi there." I said. "Oh my, I'm so sorry, we didn't mean to frighten your birds." said Twilight. "We?" I asked. "Me, I didn't." she sighed. "Nice orchestra, almost perfect harmony, one more practise and it'll be perfecto." I said. "Yeah, we're here to check on the music and it's sounding beautiful." said Twilight. "Now, I may have heard better music in different styles, but not from anything like that, I've always loved listening to birds sing in the morning." I said as she landed. She kicked the dirt nervously for a second. Twilight smiled and shifted her eyes awkwardly. "I'm Twilight Sparkle." "Pariah." I said. She looked quite nervous. "What's your name?" she asked. "Errm, I'm Fluttershy" she said quietly, my enhanced hearing allowing me to hear it perfectly. 'A... weirdly fitting name, but a nice name nonetheless' I thought. "I'm sorry, what was that?" asked Twilight. "Err, my name is Fluttershy." she mumbled and backed away. "Didn't quite catch that." said Twilight. She seemed to call the birds back, that or she whimpered. "Well, errm it looks like your birds are back, so I guess everything's in order." she said. "Looks eccezionale(awesome) to me" I said. "Keep up the good work." said Twilight as we walked away. She just whimpered again. "Ok... well, that was easy." said Twilight as Spike approached. Suddenly the girl jumped up. "A baby dragon!" she exclaimed and flew over, knocking Twilight over. I hit the D.E.C.K! "I've never seen a baby dragon before! oh he's so cute" she said. Spike looked away to Twilight. "Well, well, well." he said as I helped Twilight up and she thanked me. "Oh my, he talks? I didn't know dragons could talk!" she said. "Do rahlo nust tinvaak." I said in a deep tongue, one guy I consumed learned Dovahzul from Skyrim, plus I was born in the year of the dragon. "Was that ancient dragon?" asked Spike. "Yep, learnt it a while back." I said. "This is just so incredibly wonderful, I- I just don't even know what to say." she said. Twilight picked Spike up with magic and put him on her back. "Wait! what's his name?" "Zeik." I replied in dragon. "Hah, I'm Spike." he said. "Hi Spike, I'm Fluttershy, wow a talking dragon, and what do dragons talk about?" she replied. "Well, what do you wanna know?" he asked. "Absolutely everything!" she replied. Twilight sighed and I interjected certain things about them that Spike didn't know. "How do you know so much about them anyway?" she asked. "I was born in the year of the Dragon in my country, where a different country celebrates certain years based on an animal, I was always interested in dragons so I know quite a lot." I explained. -An hour later- "And that's the story of my whole entire life, well, up until today... do you wanna hear about today?" he asked. "Oh, yes please." she said, as we approached the library. Twilight did a 180 and said: "I'm sorry but how did we get here so fast? this is where I'm staying in Ponyville, and my poor baby dragon needs his sleep." "Hold on, you're staying? I was given the library to stay as well..." I said. "We'll sort it out, after we've got Spike into bed, he needs his little sleep." "No I don'- woah!" he said as she launched him off her back. "Aww look at that, he's so sleepy he can't even keep his little balance." she said in a childlike voice. "Poor thing, you simply must get him to bed." said Fluttershy and flew him in. I walked in as well. "Yes yes, we'll get right on that, well, goodnight!" she said, and slammed the door. "Huh, rude much?" asked Spike. "Sorry, but I have to convince the Princess that Nightmare Moon is coming." said Twilight. "Wait what? Nightmare Moon?" I asked. "Yes its a-" "Yes, yes I know the story, you told me, you seem ok, and I believe you." I said. "I have to convince the Princess that Nightmare Moon is coming, and we're running out of time! I just need to be alone so I can study without a bunch of crazy ponies trying to make friends all the time, now, where's the light?" she asked, but I stopped her. "There's somepony in here with us..." I said, when the light suddenly flipped "Surprise!" "Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie, and I threw this party just for you! were you surprised? were ya? were ya? huh huh huh?" she said and jumped a little close for comfort. "Yeah, ok, 1. don't run me up, 2. please don't EVER do that again, or I might either die from shock or punch one of you in the face on instinct." "Sorry! what about you?" she asked Twilight. "Very surprised, libraries are supposed to be quiet." she said, I was getting tired of this trying to be friendly bullcrap. "Well, that's silly! what kind of welcome party would this be if it were quiet? I mean, duh, bo-ring! y'see, I saw you when you first got here, remember? you were all 'hello' and I was all *gasp* remember? y'see I've never saw you before and if I've never saw you before that means you're new, 'cause I know everypony, and I mean everypony in Ponyville!" "God, would you shut up!?" I exclaimed, making everypony stop. "Sorry, headache, kinda on the grouchy side." I lied, I was reverting back to my old thinking, mortals... Twilight groaned and poured a drink. "Anyway, and if you're new, that meant you haven't met anyone yet, and if you haven't met anyone yet, you must not have any friends, and if you don't have any friends then you must be lonely, and that made me so sad, then I had an idea, and that's why I went *gasp!* I must throw a great big ginormous super-duper spectacular welcome party and invite everyone in Ponyville! see? and now you have lots and lots of friends!" she said, and I started to climb the stairs to bed, I usually just go into my mind and find amusing memories, it's the closest I get to sleep. Suddenly Twilights face went red and she had tears forming in her eyes. "Are you alright, sugarcube?" asked AJ. "Aww, she's so happy she's crying!" said Pinkie as Twilight ran upstairs past me and I went to see if she's alright. "Hot sauce, ooh..." said Spike. I found her pouring water down her throat and I picked up a bottle of milk. "Try this." I said and she gulped it. "Ahhh..." she sighed in relief. "One bed? bollocks..." I mumbled as I dropped my backpack in the corner of the room. "So, you believe me?" asked Twilight. "Yeah, I do." I confirmed as we sat on the bed. "Thanks, not many ponies do..." said Twilight. "Maybe because I'm not a pony..." I said. "What?" asked Twilight. "Ok, promise you won't freak." I said. "Promise." she smiled and I took away my pony form, revealing me in my marine spec ops gear. "Here." I said and she gawked at me. "Wha-" she was at a loss for words. "I'm a hum- a Runner, a race of bipedal people." I said as vaguely as possible. "Wow, can I ask you some questions later?" she asked with a cute yawn. "Yeah sure, I'll sleep on the floor." I said and got down. "Err... you don't have to... you could... climb in here with me, I mean this house is both of ours." she said. "Ok..." I said and got in, Twilight insisted I be the 'big spoon' even though I was on the other side of the bed... -a few hours later- "Hey Twilight! Pinkie Pie's starting 'pin the tail on the pony'! wanna play?" asked Spike as he burst in, I quickly switched forms, and removed my arm from Twilight's midsection, it appeared I had draped an arm over Twilight in my 'sleep' "No! all the ponies in this town are crazy! do you know what time it is?!" she asked. "About a quarter past 9, why?" I asked and fell back in bed and she pushed me down with a slight smile. "It's the eve of the Summer Sun Celebration, everypony has to stay up, or they'll miss the Princess raise the sun! you really should lighten up, Twilight, It's a party! I'll leave you alone for a second." he said, referring to me and Twilight sharing a bed. I got up stretched. "Sorry, next time I'll lock the door to save you the embarrassment." "It's fine, ugh, here I thought I'd have time to learn about the Elements of Harmony but, silly me, all this ridiculous friend-making has kept me from it! 'Legend has it that on the longest day of the thousandth year, the stars will aid in her escape, and she will bring about everlasting night' I hope the Princess was right... I hope it really is just an old ponytale..." she said "Look Twi, I've seen some messed up stuff, enough that I believe you, but you should just relax, nothing you can do about it now, try to have fun, the time comes, I'll have your back." I said. "Thanks." she said half heartedly. "It's fine..." suddenly I noticed how beautiful Twilight looked in the moonlight... We both leaned in close... our lips almost touched. "C'mon, guys, it's time to watch the sunrise!" said Spike, snapping us out of it. "Yeah, we're a' comin'" I said and me and Twilight made eye contact for a second before looking away... damn it no! I'm a virus! an immortal virus! beyond life and death! I have no need for... love... My thoughts plagued me as we walked out to the town hall. "I can't wait to see the Princess!" I said to keep enthusiasm up. "She'll be glad to meet you, if you plan on telling her." said Twilight nervously... I would have to I suppose. "I will." "And maybe she can kick your flank for trying to kiss me." said Twilight, humour in her words but a deadpan expression. I rolled my eyes and entered the Town Hall with the others. "Isn't this exciting? are you excited, 'cause I'm excited, I've never been so excited- well, except for the time that I saw you walking into town and I went *gasp* but I mean really, who can top that?" asked Pinkie Pie in the crowd as the fanfare started. "Fillies and gentlecolts, as mayor of Ponyville, it is my great pleasure to announce the beginning of the Summer Sun Celebration!" said the mayor. Everypony cheered. "Ready, I have a bad feeling..." said Twilight. I nodded. "In just a few moments, our town will witness the magic of the sunrise, and celebrate this, the longest day of the year! and now, it is my great honor to introduce to you the ruler of our land, the very pony who gives us the sun and the moon each and every day, the good, the wise, the bringer of harmony to all of Equestria..." she introduced. Where is she? I don't sense a heartbeat, o a thermal signature behind the- oh wait, I got one.. a big swirling one... "Princess Celestia!" announced the mayor as Rarity pulled the curtains back to reveal nothing... Everypony gasped. "Oh fuck me." I said. "This... can't be good." said Twilight. "Remain calm everypony there must be a reasonable explanation." said the mayor. I sighed . "You don't say Twi." I murmured. "Oh oh! I love guessing games, is she hiding?" asked Pinkie. Suddenly the few guards on the balcony had disappeared. "She's gone!" said Rarity. Everypony gasped and I face~~palmed~~ hooved. "Oh, she's goooood." said Pinkie before screaming as a blue mist surrounded the balcony, the signature I saw before... "It's times like this I feel like I should panic, but I don't have the energy." I said, I had my confidence now. "Oh, no, Nightmare Moon..." said Twilight as a navy blue, bordering on black pony with a glowing blue mane appeared. I whistled as Spike fainted. "Damn, she huge!" I said she wasn't a big as me but still "Oh, my beloved subjects, it's been so long since I've seen your precious little sun loving faces." I burst out laughing. "Ya know, it's funny because she's trying to sound scary but she just sounds like a stuck up bitch!" I said while laughing. "Oh, what is this? a fellow Alicorn? a male Alicorn?" she asked while looking at me " 'That' is something which finds this whole situation to be funny as hell! hey, what do you call a sister who refused to lower the moon? Lunacy!" I said as I ROTFLOL'd. She just sighed. "What did you do with our Princess?" asked Rainbow Dash and attempted to fly at her while Applejack held her tail. "Woah there Nelly." she mumbled. "Head, or tail?" I asked as my laughter died down. She laughed evilly. "Why? am I not royal enough for you?" she asked. "Yeah, a royal pain in the ass!" I chuckled. She flew directly in front of me while everyone backed away and I just stood there as my hair was blown back. I flicked a speck of dust off my shoulder as best I could with a hoof, she was studying me. "I'm not deaf, I could've heard you if you'd stayed up there, plus you get much better acoustics so the whole crowd can hear you." I said. She growled. "Ohh, scary!" I said. "Stop mocking me!" she shouted. "Listen sister, I spent a week inside a locked room pumped full of hallucinogenic mushrooms, acid and ecstasy, in an attempt to turn me against my frineds, if you think a large blue horse is going to scare me, you need to REALLY try hard." I said simply. She flew back up with a growl. "Don't you know who I am?" she asked. "Moe Greene?" I asked. "Oh oh more guessing games, ummm... Hokey Smokes! how about... Queen Meanie! no! Black Snooty, Black Snooty-" started Pinkie as AJ put an apple in her mouth. "Does my crown no longer count now that I've been imprisoned for a thousand years, did you not recall the legend? did you not see the signs?" she asked. "This sign says 'gtfo' hmm, how bout that? and not lowering the moon tends to have an affect on the legitimacy of your 'crown' which you don't even have on your head." I said sarcastically. "I'm sick of your japes and jives!" she said and pressed her face against mine menacingly as I jumped up to her balcony. "Great. minds. think. alike." I growled as I stared her down. "Hmm" she said, surveying me. "Try to read me all you want love, I've also practised the art of pissing people off/creeping them out by staring them down with a blank expression, if you think you can scare me in any way, go back to the moon, then again having you on it, I feel sorry for the moon, the last thousand years must've been torture having to look at your ugly muzzle for a thousand years, eugh." I said. She was about ready to explode. "I read the signs, I know who you are." said Twilight. We both shifted our heads to look at her. "I win" I smiled as she blinked, losing the staring contest. She just ignored me. "yYou're the mare in the moon... Nightmare Moon" she said as everypony gasped. "Really? you're all surprised? how dumb can you be? I mean, jeez!" I said as I jumped back down. "Well well well, we have someponies who know me." "I'm, not, a fucking... pony!" I murmured. "Well, you and somepony then, but you both know why I'm here." she said. "You're here, to... to..." she said and gulped. NM did a evil laugh. "What was that? that was a pathetic evil laugh, no, it's more like this: muhuhahahaha!" I said as my face darkened. "Remember this day little ponies, for it was your last, from this moment forth the night will last... forever!" she said and shouted it to the clouds, while lightning struck and she laughed again. "I've a few problems with that speech, 1. I AM NOT A MOTHERFUCKING FOUR LEGGED LONG NOSED CUDDLY FUCK MAGIC PONY THAT LIKES ALL THINGS MAGICAL AND BRIGHT!" a I yelled that I turned into my original form, with my marine gear. "What are you?" asked Nightmare Moon. "2. you can't remember something if it's your last day and you used 'was' in the wrong way as well 'for it will be' is the correct usage 3. work on the evil laugh, it just sounds... off... and was with that dramatic end to that speech? no, I mean seriously... it wasn't even needed, why the echo and thunder? seriously?" I asked Everypony was staring at me. "What?" I asked.
God in Equestria"Wha- what?! you- you're..." stuttered Twilight. "What? I told you!" I said. "I thought I was imagining it..." groaned Twilight. "Seize her! Only she knows where the Princess is!" shouted the mayor. "Stand back, you foals!" shouted Nightmare and blasted the guards with lightening. On her way out she made sure to hit me in the balls, although it didn't hurt because I don't technically have balls. "Come back here! Nighttime? Forever? Where're they going?" asked Rainbow as I ran with Twilight who was twitching. We got to the Golden Oaks library and Twilight put Spike to bed. "Uh... We gotta stop Nightmare!..." he mumbled before falling asleep. "You've been up all night, Spike. You are a baby dragon after all." said Twilight. "So... Nightmare Moon, just when I thought I saw it all." I chuckled. "Well, at least I'm not crazy..." said Twilight. "Yep, let's get to looking." I said. "You should sleep to." said Twilight. "I'll sleep when I'm dead." I answered. "Elements, elements, elements... Ugh! How can I stop Nightmare Moon without the Elements of Harmony?" asked Twilight. "Me." I replied darkly as I climbed a ladder. "What do you mean?" asked Twilight. "Nothing... hey look! 50 Shades Of Pinkie P- eww... RD comin' in 3'o clock." I said and climbed back down. "And just what are the Elements of Harmony? And how did you know about Nightmare Moon, huh? Are you spies?" asked RD but AJ pulled her back. "Simmer down, Sally. They ain't no spies. But they sure know what's going on. Don't you, guys?" asked AJ. "She does." I pointed to Twilight. "I read all about the prediction of Nightmare Moon. Some mysterious objects called the Elements of Harmony are the only things that can stop her, but I don't know what they are, where to find them; I don't even know what they do!" exclaimed Twilight. " 'The Elements of Harmony: A Reference Guide.'!" exclaimed Pinkie. "How did you find that?!" asked Twilight. "It was under "E"!" sang Pinkie. "Oh. There are six Elements of Harmony, but only five are known: Kindness, Laughter, Generosity, Honesty and Loyalty. The sixth is a complete mystery. It is said, the last known location of the five elements was in the ancient castle of the royal pony sisters. It is located in what is now-" "The Everfree Forest!" exclaimed everypony. "It's a forest..." I said. "He's right! Whee! Let's go!" exclaimed Pinkie. "Not so fast. Look, I appreciate the offer, but I'd really rather do this on my own." said Twilight. "No, I need something to stretch the old biomass!" I chuckled. "No can do, sugarcube. We sure ain't lettin' any friend of ours go into that creepy place alone. We're stickin' to you like caramel on a candy apple." said AJ. "Especially if there's candy apples in there. What? Those things are good." said Pinkie, that one is a mystery... Twilight sighed. "I know, I sometimes like to do things on my own." I said and we walked after them. As we walked I went ahead and felt eyes on me. "I have a nice ass don't I?" I chuckled. "No, it;s ju- what are you?" asked Rainbow, earning a stare from everypony else. "A Runner, Pariah, that's all I'll say for now." I said and walked next to them. "So you're an alien?" asked PInkie and popped up in front of me. "Yes, I came from the sky, but I didn't live up there." I said. "So, none of you have been in here before?" asked Twilight. "Ugh, Heavens no! Just look at it - it's dreadful." said Rarity. "You should've seen my cell..." I mumbled. "And it ain't natural. Folks say it don't work the same as Equestria." said AJ. "What's that supposed to mean?" asked Twilight. "Nopony knows. You know why?" said RD, scaring the others. "Rainbow, quit it." said AJ. " 'cause everypony who's ever come in has never come out!" she said and made them jump, and the cliff collapsed beneath us. I went sprawling down and managed to get a footing, but I was impaled on a branch. "BAAAAAALLLLLLLSSSSSSS!" I yelled. "Fluttershy! Quick!" said RD and her and Fluttershy went to catch the others. "Oh my goodness, oh my goodness." she said, Rarity and Pinkie were saved and AJ landed but Twilight was hanging on as I tried to pry myself off the branch. "Hold on! I'm a-comin'!" said AJ to Twilight. "Applejack! What do I do?" asked Twilight. "Let go." she said deadpan. "Are you crazy?" asked Twilight. "No I ain't. I promise you'll be safe." said AJ. "That's not true!" protested Twilight. "Now listen here. What I'm sayin' to you is the honest truth. Let go, and you'll be safe." she said. Twilight let go and screamed before RD and Fluttershy caught her but Fluttershy slipped a little. "Sorry girls. I'm not used to holding anything more than a bunny or two." she said, AJ hopped down. "What about-" AJ cut off as they saw the branch was vacant with nary a drop of blood on it. "Me?" I asked from behind and they turned. "How? that branch went through you!" exclaimed RD. "Biomass regeneration." I said simply, I heard a roar, which the girls ignored and we kept moving. "And once Pinkie and Rarity were saved, whoosh... Me and Fluttershy loop-de-loop around and WHAM! Caught you right in the nick of time." said RD. "Yes, I know! fuck! what is it with mortals and saying what we already know!?" I exclaimed. "Calm down pardner, she was only tootin' her horn." said AJ. I sighed. "Sorry..." I said. "A Manticore!" exclaimed Twilight. "Finally... action." I said and cracked my 'knuckles' "We've gotta get past him!" said Twilight. "Sure." I replied, Rarity bucked him in the face. "Take that, you ruffian!" she said, before the Manticore roared in her face and messed her mane up. "My hair!" she exclaimed and ran back to us, I'd let the ponies weaken him up. "Wait." said Fluttershy. "YEE-HAW! Git along, little dogie." aid Aj and rode him like a rodeo. "Wait." "Whoa! All yours, partner." said AJ to RD as she was thrown off. "I'm on it." replied RD. "Wait!" said Fluttershy. RD circled him quickly but was swatted away. "Rainbow!" exclaimed Twilight as she landed at my feet and I raised an eyebrow. I could imagine this playing. We all charged but before I could bring my blade out Fluttershy yelled. "WAIT!" She approached it and it roared. "Shhh... It's okay. Oh, you poor, poor little baby." she said. "Little?" asked Rainbow. "Now this might hurt for just a second." she said and yanked a thorn from him It roared and grabbed her "Fluttershy!" yelled everypony, but I knew it didn't mean her harm. "Aw you're just a little ol' baby kitty, aren't you? Yes you are, yes you are." she said as it licked her. "How did you know about the thorn?" asked Twilight as we walked. "I didn't. Sometimes we all just need to be shown a little kindness." she said, but I disagreed, there was blood on it's claw. I stayed back for a second, and I lifted it's paw and saw the blood. "You bitch..." I said, it looked confused, but by the time it realised I meant it harm, it was swarmed by tendrils, I saw it's memories, it sliced the pony and left him for dead, I also gained a poisoned Whipfist, I caught up to the others. "No. My eyes need a rest from all this icky muck." said Rarity. And plunged into darkness. "Well, I didn't mean that literally..." she said. "Be careful what you wish for." I said. "That ancient ruin could be right in front of our faces and we wouldn't even know it." "Do you mean we would bump into it? or we would walk past it?" I asked. "I didn't see you there, my apologies." said Rarity as everypony bumped into everypony, I could see in the dark perfectly thanks to sight improvement from the Manticore. "Right here... guh..." said Rainbow. "Oh wait, I think I stepped in somethin'." said Applejack and raised her hoof. Fluttershy screamed. "It's just mud." said AJ and turned to run into a tree with a face. "Aah!" he exclaimed. All the girls screamed... but me and Pinkie glanced at each other and burst out laughing. "Huh?" asked everypony. "Pinkie, wood you cut it out? What did the tree do when the bank closed? It started its own branch. Why did the pine tree get in trouble? Because it was being knotty. What did the trees wear to Mother Nature’s pool party? Swimming trunks! What did Betula pendula say to her super-annoying sister? Leaf me alone, birch!" I laughed. Pinkie started making funny noises and faces. "Pinkie, Pariah! what are you doing?! Run!" shouted Twilight. "Oh girls, don't you see?" asked Pinkie and music started. "When I was a little filly and the sun was going down..." "Tell me she's not..." said Twilight. "The darkness and the shadows, they would always make me frown..." she sang. "She is." replied Rarity. "Oh sweet Celestia..." I facepalmed. "I'd hide under my pillow, from what I thought I saw but Granny Pie said that wasn't the way to deal with fears at all" "Then what is?" asked RD. "A chair, the chair is the way forward!" I exclaimed. "She said, "Pinkie, you gotta stand up tall learn to face your fears you'll see that they can't hurt you just laugh to make them disappear." "Ha! Ha! Ha!" me and Pinkie kept laughing, the singing annoyed me but I was still feeling mortal... Suddenly a tree turned normal because of our laughter. So, giggle at the ghostly guffaw at the grossly crack up at the creepy whoop it up with the weepy chortle at the kooky snortle at the spooky and tell that big dumb scary face to take a hike and leave you alone and if he thinks he can scare you then he's got another thing coming and the very idea of such a thing just makes you wanna... hahahaha... heh... Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuugh!" exclaimed Pinkie, all the girls fell about the place, I leaned against the tree with a chuckle... mortal life was precious... seeing the girls having such a good time... it made me feel again properly. We kept walking and I was smiling again, deep in thought. "Did I make you smile?" asked Pinkie. "No Pinkie, you all made me smile." I said, receiving smiles in return. "How are we gonna cross this?" asked PInkie as we came upon choppy waters. "I could jump it... but where does that leave you girls?" I said. "Huh?" asked Pinkie. "What a world, what a world." sobbed a... sea serpent? a fucking sea serpent!? "Excuse me, sir. Why are you crying?" asked Twilight. "Well, I don't know. I was just sitting here, minding my own business, when this tacky little cloud of purple smoke just whisked past me and tore half of my beloved mustache clean off, and now I look simply horrid." he said. "Gayyyyyy..." I said. "Oh, give me a break." said RD. "That's what all the fuss is about?" asked AJ. "Of course! I wouldn't be caught dead without my wonderful warfstache!" came a familiar voice from the trees... "Wilford! my old friend!" I exclaimed and wrapped him in a hug. "Hello Pariah old friend old buddy pal! how are you!?" he asked. "Fine buddy! how about you? still a reporter?" I asked. "But of course! in fact I just finished an interview with Phone Guy, Golden Freddy almost got me, but Warfstache don't take shit from no one! Warfstache is on the lookout for the Slender-man right now, have you seen him?" he asked with a space in between Slender and Man. "No sorry." I said "Oh well, I must leave!" he said and ran back into the forest, shouting for Slenderman. "Who was that?" asked Twilight. "An old friend..." I said. "Will he be back?" asked Rainbow. "Warfstache will always be there... especially to punch evil in the face." I said. "Why, Warfstache is right. How can you be so insensitive? Oh, just look at him. Such lovely luminescent scales." "I know." he said. "And your expertly coiffed mane." "Oh, I know, I know." he cried. "Your fabulous manicure." "It's so true!" he gasped. "Your strong... sharp scales..." I said with hunger. "Yes!" he said "All ruined without your beautiful mustache." concluded Rarity. "It's true, I'm hideous!" he exclaimed. "I simply cannot let such a crime against fabulosity go uncorrected." she finished and took a scale off of him. "What did you do that for?" he asked. "Rarity, what are you-" started Twilight before Rarity cut her tail off and magicked it on to his face. "Oh-hohohoho! My mustache. How wonderful." he exclaimed. "You look smashing." complimented Rarity. "Oh, Rarity, your beautiful tail..." said Twilight. "Oh. It's fine, my dear. Short tails are in this season. Besides, it'll grow back." said Rarity with hope. "So would the mustache." whispered RD to AJ and me and we chuckled. "We can cross now. Let's go. Ah!" exclaimed Twilight as a bunch of scales rose beneath us to help. "Allow me." said the serpent. "I need one of your scales and... a little flesh please..." I asked. "Why?" asked the serpent. "I might be able to give myself some protection, I'll only take a little." I said truthfully. "Ok." he said and a tendril shot out of my back and dug into his flesh for a second and took a little flesh and a scale, which would allow me to create some armor from the DNA. "That stung a little." said the serpent, I thanked him and I caught up with them. "There it is, the ruin that holds The Elements of Harmony. We made it!" said Twilight and ran ahead. "Twilight, wait for us!" said AJ. "We're almost there. Whoa!" she said but before she fell I extended a tendril and grabbed her back and pulled her up. Everypony turned to me. "What? I have some abilities of my own..." I mumbled. "What's with you and falling off cliffs today?" asked Rainbow. "Now what?" sighed Pinkie. "Duh." said Rainbow and flared her wings. "Oh yeah." chirped Pinkie. "Rainbow..." came a voice from the other end. "Who's there?" asked Rainbow. "Rainbow..." repeated a voice. "I ain't scared of you! Show yourself!" exclaimed RD. "We've been eagerly awaiting the arrival of the best flyer in Equestria." said the ethereal voice. "Who?" asked Rainbow. "Why, you, of course." said the voice. "Really?! I mean... Oh yeah, me. Hey, uh, you wouldn't mind telling the Wonderbolts that, would ya? 'cause I've been trying to get into that group for like, ever." said RD. "No, Rainbow Dash. We want you to join us, The Shadowbolts. We're the greatest aerial team in the Everfree Forest, and soon we will be the greatest in all Equestria, but first, we need a captain. The most magnificent-" started the Shadowbolt "Yep." "Swiftest-" "Yes." "Bravest flyer in all the land." "Yes, it's all true." chuckled RD. "We need... you." said the Shadowbolt. "WOOHOO! Sign me up. Just let me tie this bridge real quick and then we have a deal." exclaimed RD. "No! It's them or us." replied the leader. "Rainbow, what's taking so long? Oh no. Rainbow! Don't listen to them." said Twilight as she noticed, the leader created a fog and I jumped the gap and went to deliver a flying kick to them. "Well?" asked the leader. "You... Thank you! For the offer, I mean, but I'm afraid I have to say no." she said. Everypony else cheered, I made contact with the 3 Shadowbolts they dissipated into blue mist and I hit the rock and kicked off, backflipping to the grass. "See? I'd never leave my friends hangin'." said RD. "True that." I said and we entered the ruins. "Whoa. Come on, Twilight. Isn't this what you've been waitin' for?" said AJ. "The Elements of Harmony, we've found them. Careful, careful!" exclaimed Twilight as our two flyers brought the Elements down. "One, two, three, four... There's only five!" exclaimed Twilight. "Hmm..." I pondered. "Where's the sixth?" asked RD. "The book said: when the five are present, a spark will cause the sixth Element to be revealed." said Twilight. "What in the hay is that supposed to mean?" asked AJ. "I'm not sure, but I have an idea. Stand back. I don't know what will happen." said Twilight, I stayed and sat crosslegged. "You're not doing this alone." I said to her and she nodded. "Come on now, y'all. She needs to concentrate." said AJ. "Aah!" exclaimed Twilight as we were teleported away "Twilight! Pariah!" exclaimed everypony. "The Elements!" exclaimed Twilight. All five ponies talked over each other: "Twilight?" "What?" "Where did she go?" "What happened?" "What's going on?" "Twilight, where are you?" asked AJ. "Look!" said Rarity. "Come on!" exclaimed AJ. We both woke up next to each other. "You ok Twi?" I asked. "Yeah." she replied. Nightmare Moon was there and laughed evilly. "Hmph!" Twilight gasped and prepared to charge her "You're kidding. You're kidding, right? I have a trick up my sleeve... pet!" exclaimed NM and suddenly I felt my body moving of it's own accord, I felt NM straining to hold me and I prepared to kill Twilight. "Stop. her!" I exclaimed and Twilight shot at her with a spell and NM let go her hold of me, but she rushed forward and impaled me with her horn, I fell to the floor. "Just one spark. Come on, come on." said Twilight and cried out as they sent her flying. "No, no!" exclaimed NM. "But... where's the sixth Element?!" gasped Twilight as I put my hand in the center of the puddle of biomass that Nightmare had impaled out of me and absorbed it back. "You little foal! Thinking you could defeat me? Now you will never see your princess, or your sun! The night will last forever!" laughed NM. All five ponies talked over each other again, to get to us: "Don't worry guys, we're here." "Don't worry, we'll be there." "You think you can destroy The Elements of Harmony just like that? Well, you're wrong, because the spirits of The Elements of Harmony are right here." said Twilight as the others entered the room. "What?" asked NM. "Applejack, who reassured me when I was in doubt, represents the spirit of... honesty!" "It takes a lot to tell the honest truth no matter what, an admirable trait, but not one I envy." I admitted. "Fluttershy, who tamed the manticore with her compassion, represents the spirit of... kindness!" "A trait I wish I had more of, to give something a second chance like she did, requires courage and compassion." I said. "Pinkie Pie, who banished fear by giggling in the face of danger, represents the spirit of... laughter!" "A trait I share, as well as Mr. Warfstache, and I gladly do share it." "Rarity, who calmed a sorrowful serpent with a meaningful gift represents the spirit of... generosity!" "To give a part of yourself for another... something I couldn't do, I admire that." I said. "And Rainbow Dash, who could not abandon her friends for her own heart's desire represents the spirit of... loyalty!" "Staying loyal when offered with something you've wanted for ages, it takes a strong resolve." "The spirits of these five ponies got us through every challenge you threw at us." said Twilight. "And damn am I glad we're friends." I said. "You still don't have the sixth Element! The spark didn't work!" exclaimed NM. "But it did! A different kind of spark. I felt it the very moment I realized how happy I was to hear you, to see you, how much I cared about you. The spark ignited inside me when I realized that you all... are my friends! You see, Nightmare Moon, when those Elements are ignited by the... the spark, that resides in the heart of us all, it creates the sixth element: the element of... magic!" said Twilight, suddenly memories of anothe rlife passed through my head... the rise of Nightmare Moon... incomplete... I needed them. "Nooo! Nooo!" exclaimed Nightmare, suddenly the Elements bounced to me and I got my Claws ready... I felt my form tear apart into something else... "Moon help me..." said NM in fear. I jumped atop Nightmare and tore into her, carving her up, tendrils extended from my back and consumed the pieces... I stopped when I saw another heat signature in there, I stopped and at on my haunches, wiped my face and fell off Nightmare backwards, passing out... "Ugh, my head." said RD and got up "Everypony okay?" asked AJ. "No." I replied. "Everything ok?" she asked. "Si." I put my thumb up. "Oh, thank goodness." Rarity in relief. "Why Rarity, it's so lovely." said Fluttershy. "I know! I'll never part with it again." said Rarity, referring to her tail. "No. Your necklace. It looks just like your cutie mark." said Fluttershy. "What? Ooh. So does yours." said Rarity. "Look at mine! Look at mine!" said Pinkie. "Aw yeah." RD hoofbumped the air. "Woah!" exclaimed RD and looked at me. I was literally an unidentifiable jumble of biomass, with two eyes and claws extended from my form, I switched back luckily. "That felt... incredible..." I said, it felt as if I was feeding off the very earth "Gee, Twilight! I thought you were just spoutin' a lot of hooey, but I reckon we really do represent the elements of friendship." "Indeed you do." came a voice. "Princess Celestia." gasped Twilight. "Twilight Sparkle, my faithful student. I knew you could do it." said a vibrant white pony. "But... you told me it was all an old pony tale." "I told you that you needed to make some friends, nothing more. I saw the signs of Nightmare Moon's return and I knew it was you who had the magic inside to defeat her, but you could not unleash it until you let true friendship into your heart. Now if only another will as well. Princess Luna!" exclaimed Celestia, I saw a blue pony, who I almost ripped apart, but she looked... pretty... "It has been a thousand years since I have seen you like this. Time to put our differences behind us. We were meant to rule together, little sister." "Sister?" asked everypony. "Will you accept my friendship?" asked Celestia and I turned to leave, this was a matter not of my concern. "Whoa!" said Pinkie. "I'm so sorry! I missed you so much, big sister!" said Luna. "I've missed you, too." Celestia said and they cried. "I couldn't have done it without you guys, and Pa- where is he?" asked Twilight. "I saw him leave before." said RD. Twilight ran out and saw me walking across the bridge. "Wait! Pariah!" called Twilight, I saw her friends and the Princesses follow her out as I turned around. "What?" I asked in genuine inquiry. "I... I couldn't have done this without you..." said Twilight. "You could have, not with as much badassery, but yes, you could've." I said. "Forgive my intrusion, but what are you?" asked Celestia. "I am Pariah, a Runner." I said and held my hand out, she raised an eyebrow and then smiled. "A pleasure to meet you Mr-" I cut her off as we shook. "There was and is no 'Mr. Pariah' it's just Pariah please." I said "Very well." smiled Celestia. "Anyway, I must go, there are some things I need to sort out." I said and continued walking, I stood at the edge of the cliff and took in a breath. "Where will you go?" asked Twilight. "Not far." I answered as I faced them, spread my arms and fell backwards. Everypony tried to stop me but I had already fell. I landed at the bottom of the gorge and sprinted to town my own way, jumping the branches, the trees, and gliding every now and then. I landed at the entrance to the Everfree and saw the girls gawking at me. "Hey, you know what this calls for?" asked Pinkie. "Dare we ask?" I said. "A party!" exclaimed Pinkie. Suddenly we were in Ponyville enjoying some festivities, although I couldn't get into the swing of it, I enjoyed watching the ponies have a good time, I saw Celestia and Luna come in by carriage and I headed over to hear Celestia convering with Twilight. "Why so glum, my faithful student? Are you not happy that your quest is complete and you can return to your studies in Canterlot?" asked Celestia. "That's just it. Just when I learned how wonderful it is to have friends, I have to leave them." said Twilight, saddened. "Spike, take a note, please. I, Princess Celestia, hereby decree that the unicorn Twilight Sparkle shall take on a new mission for Equestria. She must continue to study the magic of friendship. She must report to me her findings from her new home in Ponyville, and she is to share her home with Pariah, who is now an official member of our kingdom." smiled Celestia. Everypony cheered. "Oh thank you, Princess Celestia! I'll study harder than ever before." said Twilight. "Isn't this exciting? Are you excited cause I'm excited I've never been so excited, well, except for the time that I went [gasp!] but I mean really-" Pinkie cut off as I stuffed cake in her mouth. "Shut your 'cake hole' Pinkie!" I exclaimed, she looked at me blankly for a second before we laughed again. "Hey everypony! come and gawk at a Slendyman for the reasonable price of nothing!" came the spit filled voice of Warfstache. "Hey bud!" I exclaimed and we hugged. "Damn, Warfstache can't handle these emotions... no! Warfstache is a reporter! known for his emotionlessness!" he said. "Lets get the Jaegerbombs." I said and he smiled. "Yeah!" he exclaimed. Author's Note Another chapter! this has went through multiple OC stories and this one made the cut! yay!
The Ticket Conundrum The Ticket Conundrum Today I was helping AJ, Twi and Spike with AJ's farm, I was still in human form, with my spec op gear on. "No. Nope. Nope-" said Spike, getting rid of bad apples, which I picked up and consumed for biomass, although a small amount it counted for the amount of bad apples there were. "Thank you kindly, Twilight and Pariah, for helping me out. I bet Big McIntosh I could get all these Golden Delicious in the barn by lunchtime. If I win, he's gonna walk down Stirrup Street in one of Grannies girdles." chuckled AJ. "It's fine, not like I have anything better to do." I said. "No problem at all, Applejack. I'm glad the goal is lunchtime. All this hard work is making me hungry." said Twilight. "Bad apples are still good to me." "I know, right?" said Spike to Twi's question. "Puh-leez, Spike, you've been lounging on my back all morning while we worked." said Twilight. "And I love not being able to get tired." I said with a sigh. "Exactly. You three are taking so long, I missed snack-time." said Spike. "Eh, I guess we better get some food." said Twilight and laughed nervously as her stomach grumbled. "Nope. Worm. A-ha!" said Spike, I took the wormy apple and consumed both, worms were like a treat inside the apple for me, lately I had been craving more biomass lately for Mass. "Oh Spike, that looks delicious." said Twilight as Spike ate it. "Spike." groaned Twilight. "What?" he asked as he burped before burping again, this time out came a letter. "It's a letter from Princess Celestia." said Twilight and read it. "Hear ye, hear ye. Her Grand Royal Highness, Princess Celestia of Equestria, is pleased to announce The Grand Galloping Gala to be held in the magnificent capital city of Canterlot, on the 21st day of, eh, yadda yadda yadda, cordially extends an invitation to Twilight Sparkle plus one guest." he said "The Grand Galloping Gala!" exclaimed both mares. "Err..." I mumbled. "It a party in Canterlot for only the high and mighty, it's the event everypony wants to go to." explained Spike. "The Grand Galloping Gala!" repeated the mares. "Woo-hoo!" cheered AJ. "Look, two tickets." said Spike as he burped and they appeared. "Wow, great! I've never been to the gala. Have you, Spike?" asked Twilight. "No, and I plan to keep it that way. I don't want any of that girly frilly frou-frou nonsense." said Spike. "Yeah, me and Spike don't gallop." I said and we fist bumped. "Aw, come on boys. A dance would be nice." said Twilight. "Nice? It's a heap good more than just nice. I'd love to go. Land sakes, if I had an apple stand set up, ponies would be chowin' our tasty vittles 'til the cows came home. Do you have any idea how much business I could drum up for Sweet Apple Acres? Why, with all that money, we could do a heap of fixin' up 'round here. We could replace that saggy old roof, and Big McIntosh could replace that saggy old plow, and Granny Smith could replace that saggy old hip." said AJ. "And that's how your day crumbles." I chuckled. "Why, I'd give my left hind leg to go to that gala." said AJ. "Oh, well in that case, would you like to-" started Twilight before RD dropped on top of me and I caught her. "Whoa! Ugh thanks Big P." said RD using my new nickname she gave me and nopony else uses. "Thats ok RD." I said and put her down. "Are we talking about The Grand Galloping Gala?" she asked. "Rainbow Dash, you told me you were too busy to help me harvest apples. What were you busy doing, spyin'?" asked AJ. "No, I was busy napping, and I just happened to hear that you have an extra ticket?" said RD and we saw a makeshift bed in a tree. "Yeah, but-" started Twilight. "YES! This is so awesome. The Wonderbolts perform at The Grand Galloping Gala every year. I can see it now. Everyone would be watching the sky. Their eyes riveted on The Wonderbolts, but then in would fly Rainbow Dash!" exclaimed RD. "Ok..." I said. "I would draw their attention with my Super Speed Strut." she said. "Cool..." I mumbled. "Then, I would mesmerize 'em with my Fantastic Filly Flash. And for my grand finale, The Buccaneer Blaze! The ponies would go wild!" she exclaimed. "And you would be famous?" I guessed. "The Wonderbolts would insist that my signature moves be incorporated into their routine, and then welcome me as their newest member." she finished. "Mmm hmm..." I said with a smirk. "Don't you see, Twilight? This could be my one chance to show 'em my stuff. You gotta take me!" she said as AJ took her down. "Hold on just one pony pickin' minute here. I asked for that ticket first!" exclaimed AJ. "So? That doesn't mean you own it." said RD. "Oh, yeah? Well I challenge you to a hoof-wrestle. Winner gets the ticket." challenged AJ and they got started. "Girls, these are my tickets, I'll decide who gets it, thank you very much. Whoever has the best reason to go should get the ticket, don't you think?" asked Twilight rhetorically. "Drummin' up business for the farm?" asked AJ. "A chance to audition for The Wonderbolts?" asked RD. "Can you two just fight it out already? whoever ends up in hospital loses the ticket?" I asked Twilight and she shook her head. "Money t' fix Granny's hip." they started stating now. "Living the dream." sighed RD. "Oh my, those were all pretty good reasons, aren't they? Listen to that, I am starving. I don't know about you, but I can't make important decisions on an empty stomach, so I'll, uh, think about it over lunch and get back to you two, okay?" said Twilight as her stomach rumbled. "Okay." they said as we walked away and AJ and RD restarted the arm wrestle. "So, who you gonna give the ticket to, Twilight?" asked Spike, I turned back into my pony form. "I don't know Spike, but I really can't think straight when I'm hungry, so where should we eat?" suddenly a certain pink party pony crashed into us. "Gah! Bats! Bats on my face! Help! Wait, these aren't... tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala?! It's the most amazing incredible tremendous super-fun wonderful terrifically humongous party in all of Equestria! I've always always always wanted to go!" said Pinkie. "Lord above..." I fake cried and Twilight shared a sympathetic look. "Oh the Grand Galloping Gala is the best place for me, oh the Grand Galloping Gala is the best place for me, hip hip hooray! It's the best place for me For Pinkie... with decorations like streamers and fairy-lights and pinwheels and piñatas and pin-cushions. With goodies like sugar cubes and sugar canes and sundaes and sun-beams and sarsaparilla. And I get to play my favorite-est of favorite fantabulous games like Pin the Tail on the Pony! Oh the Grand Galloping Gala is the best place for me oh the Grand Galloping Gala is the best place for me 'cause it's the most galarrific superly-terrific gala ever In the whole galaxy wheee!" she finished and I absobed the biomass I sealed my ears with... even though I don't hear with my ears unfortunately... "Is it over?" I asked, receiving a nod from Spike. "Oh thank you, Twilight, it's the most wonderful-est gift ever." said Pinkie. "Um, actually-" tried Twilight. "Are these what I think they are?" asked Rarity. "Uh-" she tried again. "Yes, yes, yes! Twilight's taking me to The Grand Galloping Gala in Canterlot." said Pinkie, I swear a Devastator could sort this... "The gala? I design ensembles for the gala every year, but I've never had the opportunity to attend. Oh, the society, the culture, the glamour! It's where I truly belong, and where I'm destined to meet him." she said. "Him! ...Who?" asked Pinkie. "Him. I would stroll through the gala, and everyone would wonder, "Who is that mysterious mare?" They would never guess that I was just a simple pony from little old Ponyville. Why, I would cause such a sensation that I would be invited for an audience with Princess Celestia herself, and the princess would be so taken with the style and elegance that she would introduce me to him, her nephew: the most handsome, eligible unicorn stallion in Canterlot. Our eyes would meet, our hearts would melt. Our courtship would be magnificent. He would ask for my hoof in marriage, and of course I would say, "Yes!" We would have a royal wedding, befitting a Princess, which is what I would become upon marrying him, the stallion of my dreams." sighed Rarity. I twitched. "Is there anypony who doesn't want these tickets?" I asked. "Twilight, I simply cannot believe you would invite Pinkie Pie so she can... party, and prevent me from meeting my true love. How could you? Hmph." said Rarity and pouted. "Hey!" said Spike as Angel stole the tickets. "Angel, these are perfect." gasped Twilight. "Uh, listen guys, I haven't decided who to give the extra ticket to." admitted Twilight, finally getting a word in edgeways. "You haven't?" asked Rarity and Pinkie. "Um, excuse me, Twilight. I would just like to ask, I mean, if it would be all right, if you haven't given it to someone else-" started Fluttershy. "You? You want to go to the gala?" asked Rarity. "Oh, no. I mean, yes, or, actually, kind of. You see, it's not so much The Grand Galloping Gala as it is the wondrous private gated garden that surrounds the dance. The flowers are said to be the most beautiful and fragrant in all of Equestria. For the night of the gala, and that night alone, would they all be in bloom... and that's just the flora! Don't get me started on the fauna. There's loons and toucans and bitterns, oh my! Hummingbirds that can really hum, and buzzards that can really buzz. White-blue jays, and red jays, and green jays, pink jays and pink flamingos!" said Fluttershy. "Gee, Fluttershy, it sounds... beautiful?" asked Twilight. "Wait just a minute..." came RD's voice. "Rainbow Dash, were you following me?" asked Twilight. "No. I mean, yes. I mean, maybe. Look, it doesn't matter. I couldn't risk a goody-four-shoes like you giving that ticket away to just anybody." said RD. "Wait just another minute." came AJ's voice. "Applejack, were you following me too?" asked Twilight. "No. I was followin' this one to make sure she didn't try any funny business. Still trying to take mah ticket." said AJ "Your ticket?" asked RD. "But Twilight's taking me." moaned Pinkie. Twilight sighed. "SHUT THE FUCKING HELL UP!!!" I roared, tendrils shooting from my back and holding me in the air and my voice shaking the ground, Twilight clenched her eyes shut but gave me a thankful looks afterwards, obviously she'd question the tendrils but oh well... "And then I said, "Oatmeal, are you craz-" oh." said Pinkie and noticed Twilight waiting. "Girls, there's no use in arguing." said Twilight. "But Twilight-" moaned Rarity. "Eh! This is my decision, and I'm gonna make it on my own, and I certainly can't think straight with all this noise... not to mention hunger. Now go on, shoo." said Twilight as everypony else grumbled. "And don't worry, I'll figure this out... somehow." she called. "Spike, Pariah, what am I gonna do? All five of my best friends have really good reasons to go to the gala. Applejack, or Rainbow Dash? Pinkie Pie or Fluttershy, Rarity... Oh, who should go with me?" asked Twilight and picked a sunflower. "Have you made your decision?" asked a waiter. "I CAN'T DECIDE!" yelled Twilight. "Twilight, he just wants to take your order." "Calm it." I said. "Oh. I would love a daffodil and daisy sandwich." she said. "Do you have any rubies?" asked Spike, earning a look from the waiter. "No? Okay. I'll have the hay fries, extra crispy." he said. "I'll get the most organic thing you have." I said and he nodded and left. "What do you think, guys?" asked Twilight. "I think we have to try another restaurant. I mean, I like grass just fine, but would it hurt anybody to offer some gemstones?" asked Spike. "Yeah, I mean is it hard to catch worms? maybe I should order unwashed veg from now on..." I mumbled. "I mean about the gala and the ticket and who I should take." said Twilight. "Oh. You're still on that?" asked Spike. "It's an important decision Spike, I mean, Twilight will go grey just thinking about it." I chuckled "Spike, Pariah, listen. How do I choose? And when I do choose, will the other four be mad at me? I mean, I could give up my ticket and give away two, but that would still leave three disappointed ponies. What if I-" started Twilight "Ah, your food." said the waiter. "Oh thank you. This looks so good. I'm sure everything will be much clearer once I eat." said Twilight and went to take a bite as did I of... a mound of ear- a worm! better... a family of worms! I instantly consumed it, when suddenly we heard galloping. "Em, madam? sir? Are you going to eat your food in ze rain?" asked the waiter. "It's not raining. What's going on?" asked Twilight as rain pattered around us. "Hi there, best friend forever I've ever ever had. Enjoying the sunny weather?" asked RD. "Rainbow Dash, what are you doing?" asked Twilight. "Whaddya mean? I just saw the smartest, most generous pony about to get rained on, so I thought I'd kick a hole in the clouds to keep her dry so she could dine in peace, that's all." said RD. "And what about the male at her side?" I asked. "Oh yeah, you to Big P." smiled RD. "Rainbow, you're not trying to get extra consideration for the extra ticket by doing me extra special favors, are you?" asked Twilight. "Me? No no no, of course not." denied Dash. "Uh-huh." said me and Twi in unison. "Seriously, I'd do it for anypony. Heh heh, eh." said Rainbow as we saw ponies running indoors. "Rainbow, I am not comfortable accepting unwanted favors, so I'd appreciate it if you close up that rain cloud right now!" said Twilight. "Ugh, fine. [zip]" said RD and closed it like a zip. "That's better." said Twi and went to bite her sandwich before the rain dampened it and she groaned. "Twilight, it's raining." said Rarity with an umbrella. "No, really?" she asked. "Detective Rarity on the case." I mumbled. "Come with me before you catch a cold." said Rarity, we were taken to the boutique, Twilight shook off the water and got Rarity splashed. "Heh heh, oops, sorry." said Twilight. "Oh no, it's quite all right. After all, we are... the best of friends, are we not? And you know what the best of friends do?" asked Rarity. "Uh..." started Twi. "Makeovers!" she exclaimed and a cover appeared and Rarity dressed Twilight in all sorts of costumes. "Ugh, Rarity, ow, this really isn't fixing it. I mean, thank you but, ooh, that's too tight." said Twilight. "There. Oh, you're simply darling." said Rarity and Twi was dressed in a pretty blue saddle. "Uh, yeah, it is kinda pretty, isn't it?" asked Twilight. "Sure is Twi." I complimented and she blushed. "And you two. Oh Spike, I have a dandy little outfit for the dashing gent." said Rarity and summoned the cover again and Spike tried to escape. "D-ah, ow, oh, hey, wow, watch it, whoa!" "Oh, Spike." giggled Twilight sweetly as he was dressed in a nobles wig and costume. "Now you just need a hat." said Rarity and put his hat on, she turned to me but I stopped her. "Bring that stuff anywhere near me and I'll burn your shop down." I said and she chuckled nervously and threw them away. "Ugh, I told you, I don't want any part of this girly gala gunk. See you back at the library." said Spike. "Oh, who needs him anyway? This is all about you, and how fabulous you'll look at The Grand Galloping Gala." laughed Rarity and put a mirror in front of Twi who pulled some cute poses. "You look nice Twi." I said and she blushed before she realised what Rarity said. "Wait, The Grand-" started Twilight. "And oh, my goodness, what a coincidence. I happen to have an ensemble of my own that matches yours to a T. We would be the belles of the ball, you and I. Everyone would be clamoring for our attention. All eyes would be on us, and then everyone would finally know, the most beautiful, most talented, most sophisticated pony in all of Equestria is Rarity the unicorn. Ah, and Twilight Sparkle, of course." she laughed nervously. "I see what's going on. You're just buttering me up so I give you the extra ticket. Well it's not gonna work. You're going to have to wait for my decision just like everyone else. Now if you'll excuse me, I've been trying all day just to get some lunch." said Twilight and we walkd out to be greeted by a cart full of treats, courtesy of Applejack. "Did somepony say lunch?" said aforementioned pony. "You've got to be kidding me!" shouted Twilight. "I got apple pie, apple fritters, apple tarts, apple dumplings, apple crisps, apple crumblers, and apple Brown Betty. Uh, the dessert, not my auntie. What do you say there, best friend?" asked AJ, I could tell Twilight as about to explode. "Is that a yes?" asked AJ as Twilight's stomach grumbled. "No. No. I don't know who I'm giving the ticket to, and all these favors aren't making it any easier to decide. In fact, I'm less sure now than I was this morning. Ugh!" groaned Twilight and we ran. "So, that's a maybe?" asked AJ. As we approached the library Twilight groaned. "Ugh, I never thought being showered with favors would be so aggravating." said Twi, we saw Fluttershy cleaning in the treehouse and humming a familiar tune... "Fluttershy, not you too?" said Twilight. "Oh, well, hello Twilight. I hope you don't mind, but we're all doing a little spring cleaning for you." smiled Fluttershy. "It's summer." said me and Twi in unison. "Oh, well, better late than never, right? It was Angel's idea." pointed Fluttershy at the cheeky rabbit who was tossing a salad. "You're not doing this for the ticket, are you?" asked Twilight. "Oh no, I'm doing this because you're my very best friend. Right Angel?" asked Fluttershy but Angel stared at her. "You were saying?" I asked. "Oh, yes, we are just doing this for the ticket." Angel presented Twi with the salad. "No, no, no! Well, this was all very nice of you and Angel, but I'm not accepting any extra favors until I've made my final decision, so I'm going to have to ask you to leave." said Twi and opened the door to reveal many ponies. "SURPRISE!" yelled everypony and dragged Twilight out and tossed her in the air and caught her. "Oh bollocks..." I groaned. "Twilight is my bestest friend whoopie, whoopie!" sang Pinkie "Pinkie..." said Twilight. She's the cutest, smartest, all around best pony, pony! "Pinkie." tried Twilight. I bet if I throw a super-duper fun party, party! "Pinkie!" she exclaimed. She'll give her extra ticket to the Gala to me! "PIIINKIIIE!" yelled Twilight and was dropped on her flank and was on her back. "Yes, Twilight?" she asked. "At least the other ponies tried to be subtle about the ticket." said Twilight. "Wait, what ticket? What gala?" asked a pony. "Oh, you didn't know? Twilight has an extra ticket to the Grand Galloping Gala!" said Pinkie. "My god mare, what have you done?!" I exclaimed. "The Grand Galloping Gala?" said everypony. "Have I ever told you how much I love your mane?" We tried to run. "I'll wash your dishes." Tried again. "Would you like any help with your gardening?" "I have a cartload of extra carrots." "I'll paint your cart." "What are we gonna do?" asked Spike. "We-" I cut Twilight off. "Whatever you were going to say I have a better idea..." I said. "What?" asked Twilight. "Run!!!" I yelled and we did. (God bless Benny Hill... RIP legend.) We managed to act as a mother and father pushing a baby carriage with Spike in it as the horde ran past us, and we ran the opposite way, a pony saw and pointed at us. We hid under a bridge and the crowd ran over us. Spike fell in the water and we ran again, we posed as models in a shop window, me in a tux and Twi with a clown outfit, and SPike in a Haywiian hula outfit, they ran past and we legged/hoofed it. Suddenly we were backed into a corner. Ponies were offering favors. "I'll do your taxes!" "Never corner a fox." I said, grabbed both pony and dragon and breathed hard, sending a web of biomass i front of us so they couldn't see as I jumped high and air dashed toward the treehouse. "Where is she? Where did she go? She's disappeared." "TWI!" I yelled a we were about to amh into the trunk, then Twi teleported us inside. "Ugh, warn me next time you're both gonna do that." said Spike. "That was awesome Pariah! I didn't even know it was gonna happen. Now quick, lock the doors." said Twi when suddenly the 5 ponies were in front of us Yaaaargh! I can't decide, I just can't decide. It's important to all of you and I just can't stand to disappoint any of you, and giving me gifts and doing me favors won't make any difference, because you're all my friends and I wanna make you all happy and I can't, I just can't!" she said. "Twilight, sugar, I didn't mean to put so much pressure on you, and if it helps, I don't want the ticket anymore. You can give it to somepony else. I won't feel bad, I promise." said AJ "Me too. I feel just awful that I made you feel so awful." "And me too. It's no fun upsetting your friends." "Twilight, it was unfair of me to try to force you as I did." "Yes! That means the ticket is mine. Ha ha, I got the ticket, I got the ticket-" she sang. Everypony including me gave her a death glare. "You know, I haven't perfected my signature moves for The Wonderbolts anyway. I don't need that ticket either." she said. "We all got so gung-ho about going to the gala that we couldn't see how un-gung-ho we were making you." "We're sorry, Twilight." they all said. "Spike, take down a note. Dear Princess Celestia," "I've learned that one of the joys of friendship is sharing your blessings, but when there's not enough blessings to go around, having more than your friends can make you feel pretty awful. So, though I appreciate the invitation, I will be returning both tickets to The Grand Galloping Gala." said Twilight and enclosed the tickets. "What?!" said everypony. "If my friends can't all go, I don't wanna go either." said Twilight. "Interesting..." I said and took down my own notes, I had to learn these ponies customs as well, I took down the act of selflessness. "Twilight, you don't have to do that." said AJ. "Nope. I've made up my mind. Spike, you can send the letter now." said Twilight. Spike sent it via dragonfire "Now you won't get to go to the gala either." said Fluttershy. "It's okay, girls. I couldn't possibly enjoy myself without my best friends there with me, so I would rather not go at all." said Twilight. "Hgh... hgh... urk... urk..." Spike choked. "Well wallop my withers, Spike. Isn't that just like a boy? Can't handle the least bit of sentiment." said AJ, I went over to him. "Spike buddy, you ok?" I asked with concern, he looked to be choking. Suddenly he burped out a letter and I caught it. "Whoa Nelly!" said AJ as my hand was burned but it repaired as I winced. "A letter from the princess? That was fast." said Twilight as i handed Spike the letter. ""My faithful student Twilight," started Spike. "Why didn't you just say so in the first place?" Six tickets to The Grand Galloping Gala." said Spike. Everypony gasped. "Now we can all go." said Twilight. Everypony cheered. Twilight's stomach rumbled. "Allow us to treat you to dinner." said Rarity. "What a great way to apologize." said AJ. "And to celebrate. Come on everypony, the cupcakes are on me." said Pinkie. "Would that cupcake get fur in?" I asked and everypony laughed. "How come I don't get a ticket to the gala? Hurk! "And one for you, Spike." he giggled. "Hurk!" exclaimed Spike and another letter came through. "And one for Pariah." said Spike and I took it in my hand. "Yes! I mean, gross, I have to go too?" said Spike and giggled as he ran. AJ chuckled.
The Scientist.As I prepared to head to Canterlot for a meeting with Princess Celestia, I wondered what adventures or rather mis-adventures the 6 would get up to, I was expected to be back tomorrow, sometime in the afternoon, just the time for their adventures. I headed to Golden Oaks basement, where I had set up a laboratory, I had found that after consuming that half dead pony, some rather colourful DNA cells had been responsible for my mood swings, sometimes I would be 'human' or a quite polite guy, I could be angry which is due to some black cells also vying for control, or I could be benign, like with NM. The colourful and black cells had been 'eating' my normal cells, but had lately stopped, and I now had more control of my attitude. I had also been testing some virus strands, maybe I could turn the Manticores into a new type of Hunter class infected, there are also many more a creature I could turn, but it would not be to take over Equestria, no, just for protection. I also had my military backpack here, just in case as it had my guns and MREs in. I exited the lab and sealed the door to it. I exited the library and locked the door, Twilight was actually coming with for a few hours, leaving the library to Spike who was out and had his own key, the 5 mares were waiting as I switched to my pony form. Pinkie started crying. "Don't forget about me!" she sobbed. "How could I forget you? you make the best cakes." I said and she smiled again. "Promise?" she asked. "Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a cupcake in my eye." I said and did the actions, I found it best to humour Pinkie. "Darling, I hope you have a great time and, if you do find a way home, do write us a goodbye letter." said Rarity. "Of course Rarity." I said. "Yeah yeah, big whoop, you're going, so what?" asked RD acting benign. "I'll miss you to Rainbow." I rolled my eyes. "Whatever Big P." she said. "Bye Fluttershy." I said as the mare lightly hugged me and I returned it. "Goodbye, I hope you find a way home, visit if you can, if you don't mind..." she said and hid behind her mane. "Of course." I said and moved to AJ. "Well pardner, it's been an honour." said and we shook hooves. "Wait!" called Spike. "What?" asked Twilight. "I just wanted to say goodbye." said Spike. "See you later big dragon." I said. "See ya Pariah." he said and we shook hooves/claws. "Come on Twilight." I said and we left to the station. We sat on the train in a private carriage. "So, what's with the... slippy slide, tendril... thing?" asked Twilight. "Save the Q&A for the castle Twilight, Celestia will want to know as well." I said. "That's true." said Twilight, suddenly memories plagued me and I held my head, I had a memory from Nightmare Moon. (If you've never played Prototype, this is what a memory is like and the feel I'm going for and a bit of info as Pariah is similar to Mercer.) "Alone... sooooo alone... nopony cares about you... your own sister despises you!" "That is not true!" "Isn't it, Luna? what does she do to help you? nothing!" "She does help us! whenever we need it!" "You are alone Luna, let me make it right... let me be there for you..." "we- we won't!" "Think about it Luna..." "..." "..." "Ok..." And the memory ended, it seemed Nightmare Moon was talking to Luna, turning her against her sister, and herself. "I'm still here!" came a voice... Nightmare Moon! "And I will trap you forever!" and I blacked out. -Meanwhile, Twilight Sparkle's POV- "Pariah? Pariah!" exclaimed Twilight, Pariah's... tendril things were writhing all over his body and his eyes were rolled back into his head and he was blinking rapidly. Twilight pulled a cord in the carriage that made the train go faster in an emergency. The train sped up and reached Canterlot in 10 minutes, Twilight carried him in her magic and ran to the palace, where she saw Celestia waiting. "Twilight! what happened?" asked Celestia as she saw Pariah on Twilight's back. "Something happened to him!" exclaimed Twilight. "Come, we must get him into the infirmar-" she cut off as Pariah took in a huge breath and stood up, turning back into his original form with his marine gear. "ahhhh!" he grunted after yelling, the guards came running and Pariah started bashing his head on the floor. "GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" he yelled, and threw his head on a guard's spear, much to the guards horror. "Oh horsefeathers... what have I done..." asked the guard, suddenly Pariah pried his head from the spear and had eyes like Nightmare Moon in his original form. "Hello again Celesti-" she cut off as Pariah suddenly threw up viral paste, the DNA of Nightmare going with it. He was on his hands and knees facing the floor before getting to his knees. "Good evening Princess, we have much to talk about." he said as his face repaired itself as he reabsorbed the DNA he spewed up, hopefully regaining control. "Indeed..." said Celestia, he saw Princess Luna looking at him with her hoof on her mouth in shock. Pariah approached Luna and smiled. "Princess Luna, it is an honor to be in the company of royalty as important and... beautiful as yourselves." he said, Luna was remarkably bigger than before, she blushed and ran to her room. "Luna seems to be doing well." laughed Twilight nervously. Pariah approached the guard who's spear was in need of a good clean, the guard gulped as Pariah approached him. He put his hand on the tip of the spear and absorbed the biomass back. "Thanks." said Pariah. "Yes she is, thanks to you and Pariah, what just happened?" asked Celestia. "Memory leak, I call them, if somepony's will that I've consumed and 'kept' is strong enough they can push forward and try to seize control, first time they've succeeded, and the last, I know how to combat her now, I only keep the person alive inside of me if they deserve to suffer, and Nightmare deserved to suffer." "So... you can see Nightmare's memories?" asked Celestia. "And Luna's, if I try hard enough, but I don't wish to intrude on yours and her life." "Thank you for respecting our privacy." smiled Celestia. "It's fine, I wouldn't want a stranger poking around my memories." I said. "Well, welcome to Canterlot, Pariah." welcomed Celestia. "Thank you Celestia." I said as she sat on her throne and waited... just waited... "Pariah! bow!" whispered Twilight harshly. "No, she's not my ruler." I said. "I agree, he is not from here, now come, like you said, there is much to discuss." said Celestia and led us out We sat at a table and Celestia talked to us. "So Pariah, where are you from?" asked Celestia as Twilight got a scroll and quill. "Earth, pretty much lie Equestria, called Planet Gaia, 80% water it's mass is 5,972,190,000,000,000 billion kg, it's equatorial diameter is 12,756 km, it's polar diameter is 12,714 km its equatorial circumference is 40,030 km, it's known moons are 1, notable moons: The Moon also called Luna incidentally, its orbit distance is 149,598,262 km (1 AU) orbit period is 365.26 Earth days which are 24 hours and the surface temperature is -88 to 58°C." I said, I consumed quite a few scientists during my time in captivity. "Tell me some more." said Celestia who was sipping tea. "The Earth’s rotation is gradually slowing but this deceleration is happening almost imperceptibly, at approximately 17 milliseconds per hundred years, although the rate at which it occurs is not perfectly uniform. This has the effect of lengthening our days, but it happens so slowly that it could be as much as 140 million years before the length of a day will have increased to 25 hours. The Earth was once believed to be the centre of the universe due to the movements of the Sun and planets in relation to their viewpoint, ancient scientists insisted that the Earth remained static, whilst other celestial bodies travelled in circular orbits around it. Eventually, the view that the Sun was at the centre of the universe was postulated by Copernicus, though this is also not the case. Earth has a powerful magnetic field, this phenomenon is caused by the nickel-iron core of the planet, coupled with its rapid rotation. This field protects the Earth from the effects of solar wind and there is only one natural satellite of the planet Earth, as a percentage of the size of the body it orbits, the Moon is the largest satellite of any planet in our solar system. In real terms, however, it is only the fifth largest natural satellite. Earth is the only planet not named after a god, The other seven planets in our solar system are all named after Roman gods or goddesses. Although only Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn were named during ancient times, because they were visible to the naked eye, the Roman method of naming planets was retained after the discovery of Uranus and Neptune and finally, of all the planets in our solar system, the Earth has the greatest density, however this varies according to the part of the planet; for example, the metallic core is denser than the crust. The average density of the Earth is approximately 5.52 grams per cubic centimetre." I said. "Tell us about the Moon, my sister will be most interested." said Celestia. "Sure, the Moon or Luna, is the Earth’s only natural satellite and was formed 4.6 billion years ago around some 30–50 million years after the formation of the solar system. The Moon is in synchronous rotation with Earth meaning the same side is always facing the Earth. The first unmanned mission to the Moon was in 1959 by the Soviet Lunar Program with the first manned landing being Apollo 11 in 1969. The Circumference at Equator is 10,917.0 km, the diameter is 3,475 km, it's mass is 73,476,730,924,573,500 million kg, 0.0123 x Earth, the average distance from Earth: is 384,400 km, it's length of Orbit is 27.3 Earth days and it's surface Temperature is -233 to 123 °C." "Thank you, now can I ask about you?" asked Celestia. "Sure, but I'm not sure I know about me." I said. "What are you?" asked Celestia and I laughed. "I am a virus actually, Redlight, they called mine, an... acquaintance of mine was Blacklight, an artificial release." I said. "Artificial? you mean... created?" asked Celestia. "Yeah, Hope, Idaho was a military town inhabited by military families of different ethnicities. It was originally built by the US Army, under the guise of testing a self-sufficient base in case of a nuclear attack... it was Project Redlight...2 (memory time) "After the success of Carnival I, a military operation, the government opted to test out the virus on humans. For this purpose, they created an artificial town, Hope, Idaho, filled with a cross section of ethnicities and backgrounds. The cover story was that it was a military experiment to test self sufficient towns in case of a nuclear war, the virus was disguised as a "harmless" solution simulating fallout and the townsfolk eagerly participated in the tests, literally "rolling up their sleeves" for the researchers to inject them with the substance. The project began on June 11, 1964. As part of it, 461 subjects were infected with "DX-1118 A", a variant of Redlight virus, the virus had no effects on humans for over 998 days. On August 8, 1968, Elizabeth Greene's strain of the virus took control of the whole town, turning the people into mindless slaves, protecting her. The town was recaptured after a major battle with the infected the following year, on July 7, 1969, when Blackwatch moved in and incarcerated Greene, who was then only 19 years old, Elizabeth Greene was my mother." I said. "Oh my sun..." said Celestia. "How much can you handle? can you handle visions of death?" I asked. "Yes..." she said. "I can show you vaguely what happened, and Blacklight, this memory is about him and Hope, and another one straight after is again about Hope... and me, the third as about the same as the last." I said. "Ok." said Celestia. I put a hand on her and dug a tendril in lightly, giving her the memories. (Go to 2:10 until the end of that memory and 2:50 until the end of that.) "Oh my..." said Celestia. "Are you ok?" asked Twilight. "They... what they did..." said Celestia with tears falling from her eyes. "I have to live with the fact I survived, but I've removed my guilt from that, my conscience is clear, my mother was killed by Mercer- ahem, Blacklight, but I didn't care when I heard, I never knew her, I spent 16 years in a cell, 4 at war, I'm adapted to being alone, having friends so fast is... more than I can properly handle." I said. "So...what are you?" asked Celestia. "A Runner, a class of infected, a chosen virus, my mother was human before the virus humans look like me, bipedal, but all our faces are different due to genetic makeup similar to your fur colourations." I said. "Pariah... the name that is not a name..." she said. "Yes, I was assigned a 'project' originally I was Project Redlight, then Crusade, and now Pariah." I said. "I'm sorry..." said Celestia. "Don't be, I enjoy it for the most part." I said. "Have- have you killed anypony?" asked Celestia, I saw Twilight freeze and lower her scroll to look at me. "A Manticore mauled a pony, badly, he was almost dead, I put him out of his misery and consumed him, keeping his memories and letting him rest in peace but it was only so I could learn about the world, I then consumed the Manticore that killed him." I said. "I see, for being truthful, I can forgive you, and for putting him out of his misery I thank you." said Celestia, I could tell Twilight was surprised. "What you showed me... why didn't anyhuman tell the authorities?" asked Celestia and I responded with a dry laugh. "The 'authorities' are the ones who authorised the project, the Government themselves." I said and she gasped. "Monsters..." she said angrily. "No, I'm the monster, they're Frankenstein, I could destroy the world with a flick of my hand, I could release my virus and kill everything, but I don't, life is precious." I said. "I agree, there has been no war in Equestria for over 1000 years." said Celestia. "I'm happy for you, truly." I said. "Do you wish to go back?" asked Celestia. "I wish for the opportunity, my country is at war with another currently, I was about to be dropped into enemy territory when I wound up... here." I said. "I have an explanation for that, the legend of Nightmare Moon tells of the stars aiding her escape, but at the moment they started to move in her favour, they created a magic disturbance, my guess is you were very high up when the disturbance occurred and you were transported here?" she asked. "Yes, I was falling in fact, I landed in the forest near Fluttershy's cottage." I explained. "I see, I will try to find you a way home with Twilight, you can adjourn to your quarters if you want." said Celestia and I nodded. I headed to the guest quarters, Twilight showed me them and bid me goodnight, I didn't take in the room and I flopped in the bed and entered my memories. Author's Note Marl. Marl! talk to the people! Huh? ok, hey guys! how're you? you ok? hows the weather where you are? here in Devon it's great! my homie an' I are on holiday! hope you liked the chapter, I provided the facts about the planet btw, my homie would be lost without me, even though he could've used the internet... love y'all! peace.
When in doubt, throw the prick out! When in doubt, throw the prick out! As I woke myself up I got out of bed and headed to the door, I opened it up to find two guards, whether to contain me or guard me, I had no idea, but I knew I didn't need either of those. I headed won the corridor and pushed the door to the throne room open. "...and furthermore, I will not tolerate peasants in the Upper City!" came a voice. "And since when do you own the Upper City?" asked the obvious calm voice of Celestia. "Time to work the magic..." I said and turned into my pony form. "AH! Celly! my old friend!" I exclaimed and winked at her, signifying I had a plan. "Hello Pariah! it is so good to see you again." she exclaimed and I hugged her and whispered. "Let me handle this." "I am just in the middle of court, would you like to sit this one?" asked Celestia. "Why not? scooch over." I said and sat next to her. "Go ahead." nodded Celestia. "Currently, my businesses are not doing well-" he cut off as I yawned. "Sorry." I said and he continued. "Because poor ponies keep coming in, I want the Upper City to be inaccessible to the Lower City ponies." said the stallion. "I know what you can do." I said and went over to him and draped a hoof over his neck. "What?" he asked as we walked to the door. "Well, you can sort... YOUR OWN FUCKING PROBLEMS OUT!!!" I yelled and booted his arse, sending him down the courtyard steps. "Well I neve-" he cut off as I said: "Come back when you've got REAL issues, anypony else got anything not worth your Princesses time?!" I asked and some ponies backed off while some stayed. "Take a hike bozos." I said and slammed the castle door. I saw the guards grimacing in an attempt to hold in laughs. "Permission to laugh boys." I said as I walked past and they fell over in fits. I saw Celestia chuckling with a hoof on her mouth. "That was amazing." she laughed. "When in doubt throw the prick out!" I exclaimed. "Come... we- we must... we must talk." said Celestia between laughs. "Sure." I said and we walked through the castle corridors. "I have found a way to get you home, I can open a portal, I will give you a crystal that allows you to come back at any time you want, it is personal to you and only you can use it." said Celestia as we entered an empty room. "Thanks, I will leave in three days, I want to properly say goodbye to the girls first." I said. "Of course." smiled Celestia. "I will take my leave for now, and hop on the train back to Ponyville." I said. "Thank you for visiting Pariah, it has opened my eyes." said Celestia and we shook hands/hoofs as I switched back to human form and then back to pony after the shake, I kissed her hoof. "It has been my pleasure your majesty." I said as she blushed. "Farewell Pariah." she said as I left for the train station again. "This was a productive day." I nodded to myself as I walked the streets. "You there!" came a high pitched shriek, I turned to see the noble I kicked out with some rough looking thugs, and I was in an alleyway... "Ok lads, I can see this going four ways, 1. you beat me up, 2. you beat me up and other... things... 3. I beat you up, and 4. I do much worse." I said. "Get him!" exclaimed the noble, as they charged, I dodged to of them and extended tendrils from my left side which dug into and consumed a thug. The other two freaked and charged me again, I consumed them both at the same time. I turned to the noble with a dangerous look in my eyes, he tried to run but I grabbed him with a whipfist in place of a wing an threw im in the air and sliced him in half, consuming him also. "A very delicious, productive day." I smiled as I walked from the ally to the station. I boarded a train to Ponyville and slipped into memories again, escaping the boring journey. I got off the train and headed for Golden Oaks library, suddenly Pinkie was in front of me. "Hello Pinkie." I said. "You remembered!" she beamed. "Err, of course... you are truly an unforgettable pony." I smiled and we headed to the library. "That's great!" exclaimed Pinkie as we entered the tree house. "Hey Big P!" exclaimed Spike. "Hey Spike, Twilight." I nodded to the unicorn as she came down the stairs. "Pariah! you haven't gone? I thought we found a way to send you home?" asked Twilight. "You did, I came here to say my farewells." I said. "The girls will be happy to know that, they're actually in the kitchen." said Twilight, I walked in and saw the 4 mares at a table having dinner. "Ah! darling! Twilight told us you've gone!" exclaimed Rarity. "Not yet, I'm here to say goodbye first." I smiled. "So, you're finally leavin' us huh?" asked RD. "Hey, don't be like that." I said. "It's fine, at least I don't have to worry about you upstaging me." she said. "I'll miss you to Rainbow Dash." I rolled my eyes. "Well pardner, looks like the buck stops here." said AJ. "Yep, good to know you." I said. "Darling, I do hope you are ok when you get home." said Rarity. "I will be." I said. "Goodbye, I hope you are ok when you get home." smiled Fluttershy. "It's been a pleasure to know you and Angel Fluttershy." I said. "Bye again!" exclaimed Pinkie. "See you Pinkie." I smiled. "Goodbye Pariah, it has been a pleasure having you stay here." smiled Twilight and hugged me. "It's been a pleasure to stay." I replied and moved on to Spike. "Well Spike, goodbye." I said. "See ya." he said and we shook again. -2 hours later- I arrived in Canterlot again and saw Celestia waiting for me. "Come, it is time." she said. "Ok..." "Here is a stone I created for you, it will grant you, and only you, access to our world whenever." said Celestia. "Very well, I will leave now, give Twilight, Spike and the rest of the girls my regards, and tell your sister about Earth's moon, tell the girls I'll visit." I said. "Farewell for now Pariah." smiled Celestia and cast a spell, suddenly Celestia's magic glow turned red and she looked up at her horn in shock. "What...? Pari-!" she started before I disappeared. I bolted up i shock... where was I...? I was among bodies, dead pony bodies... where the hell...? I got up shakily, realising I was in my pony form, probably a good thing. I saw different bodies in places, half pony, half dragon, half... every damn creature ever... there was lore surrounding this... "Draconequus." I said, remembering from that pony I consumed. I walked forward, recovering from whatever happened quickly. I looked ahead to see...
Meet the parentsI saw 2 Alicorns, a male and female, one was blue and one was white, I approached them and heard them talking. I looked down at myself and noticed I was a blue and white Alicorn with a red horn, when I tried to change I couldn't, I also had rainbow coloured eyes... what the hell had Celestia done to me?! my cutie mark... fuck... I tried to use the thing Celestia had given me to get back, but it just fizzed out... (his cutie mark is a Blackwatch symbol, kind of the opposite of what he would want.) "We... we are the last Alicorns... but we did it, the Draconequus are defeated." he said and looked up, I went to greet them but suddenly I saw one hiding in a bush ready to pounce. I jumped in front of them and he speared my torso with a claw. I groaned in pain and gripped his claw and slowly made eye contact with him before standing straight sighing, and he looked at me. "This is impossible..." he said. "I know, it's really unfair." I said and punched a hole in his stomach with my hoof, causing him to fall to the floor as I consumed him and his claw to absorb into and heal my torso.(if anypony gets that reference let me know) "God I love being immortal." I said and turned to the two Alicorns "You... you saved me and my babies..." said the white Alicorn and put a hoof to her stomach, she was heavily pregnant. "What did you do to that Draconequus?" asked the blue male. "I used special magic." I lied. "What's your name and rank?" he asked. "I'm the last part of a black ops unit in the army, operating strictly on the shadows, but I couldn't stand by and watch that happen to you both, I'm a Commander, Commander Blacklight, at your service." I said. "My name is King Cosmos, this is my wife, Queen Galaxia, did you see the battle?" he asked. "Unfortunately not, I arrived too late to help, my mission took priority." I said. "What was your mission?" asked Cosmos, I would answer this using my own knowledge. "To contain a... former partner of mine, Zeus, he went rogue and I was to bring him in, however upon returning, I found our base decimated, as a result I was forced to terminate Redlight, I suppose I am now the de facto leader of our organisation, though there is not much to lead." I said. "We know how you feel, a lot of our ponies died in that tragic war, luckily we were told of this attack by a friend of ours, Discord." said Galaxia and a Draconequus appeared out of thin air it seemed. "Ah, hello good pony! you seem to be a strong fellow!" he said, for his name he sounded quite tame... "You must be Discord, pleasure." I said and held a hoof out, which he took into his his claw and shook. "Ah, part of a secret organisation I see!" he exclaimed. "Yes." I stated. "Well, I shall get back to the castle your majesties, Blacklight." nodded Discord and disappeared. "We should get back to." said Cosmos and Galaxia went to walk but fell and I caught her with my wing. "Be careful your highness." I said. "I... I think my babies are coming!" she exclaimed and Cosmos was by her side. "I... how do...?" he asked, I accessed my memories, I had consumed a man who had a mare on a farm and helped her foal at one point... "Ok, lay on your back, get me a bandage Cosmos and wrap it around her tail." I said and he complied. She got on her side after my go ahead and amber coloured liquid started pouring from her vulva and the water sac came out and she started screaming. "OK, you've got to push, but not too hard, or you'll kill your foal." I said and she gave me a scared look. "What?!" she asked. "Calm down, and just push." I said soothingly and she did, I saw it start to crown and it eased out, bit by bit as she screamed... Eventually the membrane started to come out and the first foal was born, and the second was nowhere to be seen. "Where's my other baby?" she asked. "Oh god... I'm gonna have to... reach in and get it out..." I said. "Do it." said Cosmos. "Are you sure?" I asked. "Yes, if it will save my child, I give you permission to get our child out of my wife's womb." he said and I nodded. I reached in with my hooves and she bucked me in the chest on instinct, which I shrugged off, I felt the foal... it had a foot turned back... I started pushing on the leg that had already appeared, at the same time pulled on the missing one and got it out. "It's alive, and their both mares." I said and took a breath and laid down in the grass as the foals got out of their membrane sacs. "Oh my babies..." she said and held them close. "You... you saved my children... I cannot thank you enough." he said. "Think nothing of it." I smiled. "No, I will." he said. "You... you saved them." said Galaxia and shakily stood up, helping her new foals in their first steps. "Celestia and Luna... I will call them Celestia and Luna." "Holy shit..." I mumbled, I had just foaled Celestia and Luna... "Their perfect..." smiled the King. "Let me guess, white one Celestia, blue Luna?" I asked. "Actually I was going to go the opposite of that... but now you say it, it makes sense." said Galaxia "Come, we must get back to the castle, whatever is left of our kingdom will be awaiting news of the foals." said Cosmos, suddenly I noticed the foals starting climb all over me and tugged at my wing and mane, and bit my horn with their gumless mouths. "Ah ah ah, leave Blacklight alone." scolded the King gently and levitated the siblings off of me and put Luna on his back and Celestia on Galaxia's. I got up and walked with them to wherever we were going. "Have you seen our castle Blacklight?" asked Cosmos. "Never had the pleasure." I said as we walked. "It's not far." he said. We walked for a good while until we came across a grand town. "So, how many Alicorns were there?" I asked. "Many, pretty much of them Commanders, all of them friends." said Cosmos. "Dada!" exclaimed Luna. "Her first word! Alicorns always matured faster than normal foals." said Galaxia. "Blacklight!" exclaimed Celestia and it stopped me in my tracks... "She said your name, wow!" exclaimed Cosmos with a laugh as I shook my head and caught up. "Yeah..." I chuckled as we walked ahead, suddenly a huge fairytale-like castle and town in the distance. "Home..." said Galaxia tiredly. Eventually we got to the town and I realised I must be a couple thousand years in the past at least... Hmm... Eventually we got to the grand castle doors, and a flick from Cosmos' horn threw open the door. "WE HAVE 2 BABY FILLIES!" he exclaimed in an extremely loud voice, Galaxia looked over to me to see I was unaffected by the display. A bunch cheers were heard from around the castle. "Wow, he's loud..." I said. "GATHER THE KINGDOM!" he exclaimed and the whole castle got to work. "I must lie down first." said Galaxia with a weak smile and they both went to the bedrooms. "I assume you know how to run a unit Blacklight? running a castle is no different, just ell them stuff to do with the castle if they ask you, BLACKLIGHT IS IN CHARGE FOR NOW!" exclaimed Cosmos. "Are you sure? you don't know me..." I trailed off. "If you're an Alicorn, and military for that matter, you are an ally, especially since you could've left us in that meadow, you helped us birth our children, so yes I trust you." He smiled and helped his wife to bed. "Okkkkk..." I said and looked around, noticing the staff just getting on with it. "I see our good king has left you in charge." said a familiar voice... "Discord." I nodded and he appeared next to me. "I see you helped deliver the foals! that is excellent!" he exclaimed. "Yeah their names are Celestia and Luna." I said. "Ah, makes sense." he said. "How long have you known the King and Queen?" I asked. "Not long, I told them about the ambush, they were istrustful at first, but it happened, all their troops died, and all of my race, only I and maybe a few others remain." he explained. "So, how did this war start?" I asked. "The Orb of Destiny, our race found it, those who looked into it, which was almost all of us, aside from me and the few others I mentioned may be alive, went crazy, it is said those who survive 3 years after looking into the orb are granted great powers." he said. "How long did the war last?" I asked. "3 years ago today, they were about to come into power when the ponies attacked and killed them all." he said. "Good job." I said. "They may have been my family once, but after looking into the orb, they are not the same, they are not the family I knew, not a shred." he told me. "Shame." I said as the King and Queen came out, looking refreshed. "Your highnesses, the kingdom is gathered." bowed Discord. "Good, come Blacklight, we shall show the foals, and tell the kingdom of your bravery, how do you feeling about being a godfather?" he asked and as I was about to say something I stopped again... godfather...? was I ready for that? I mean not a massive responsibility but still... "Ok..." I said hesitantly. "Good, we discussed this at length." smiled Galaxia. "I told her a military man wouldn't want to be a godfather, but she insisted." he murmured to me as the fillies were placed on my back. We climbed steps to a balcony, the fillies laughing along the way, messing around on my back, tugging my mane and playing with my wing feathers. The girls were placed on the rulers backs and they opened two doors to a massive crowd outside cheering. The girls were lifted Lion King style but in magic instead of a monkeys arms and they were giggling to each other. "BEHOLD, THE PRINCESSES, CELESTIA AND LUNA!" exclaimed Cosmos' advisor as the crowd went wild, a hoof held up from the king silenced the crowd immediately. "My loyal subjects! we are here today to celebrate 3 things, one is the birth of my daughters, the other is the fact we have won a long and trying war for our very lives, where our soldiers bravely gave their lives on the battlefield, and the third, is Blacklight, a new friend of the kingdom, he saved my daughters and my wife from death, risking his life in the process, fillies and colts, mares and gentlecolts, I give you, SIR BLACKLIGHT! the godfather of my daughters." exclaimed the king and pushed me forward as I gave a slight wave to the cheering crowd. "What did I get myself into?" I whispered to myself.
The Tangled Web I Weave...-18 years later- 18 years after that balcony thing I was now an archiver for the palace, which started not long after, as well as a bodyguard when needed, at first I was skeptical but grew to the role, I stayed in my pony form mostly and was usually curled on a cushion levitating books, papers and such, signing stuff and other things, Celestia and Luna visited me often, always playing around me, though not so much lately due to their age, they started to use their magic to help me around the archives, and we talked, apparently they had private education, despite them not wanting it, I had also learned I had birthed Celestia, as in pulled her out, even though she was the older sister, it was that Luna 'pushed' her way to the front, which is why Celestia was stuck. Both sisters came here to keep me company now, rather than to practise magic seeing as they were now efficient at it, it was the eve of the sister's 18th birthday, and their official coronation as Princesses and the heirs to the throne and they were excited. Discord however... had been rather... distant lately... he had locked himself in his room, after receiving a mail package about 3-4 years ago... I was once more in the archives, content with my life, I was feeling mortal once more, I was even feeling emotions once more, it was good, to say the least, and both sisters filled me with... joy I think is the word, but Celestia acted strangely around me... it was hard to explain. I was also with the sisters, Celestia was next to me, her mane now gaining a rainbow colour, strangely she nuzzled me... rather affectionately. "We're so excited! our first royal ball!" she exclaimed, Celestia had more of an affinity for these things, Luna was more sociable or more lively than her sister. "Indeed, I will attend a little later, I have duties here tonight unfortunately." I said. "Hmm, maybe you'd like some company?" asked Celestia... rather suggestively... "What?" I asked in confusion. "Just wondered if you'd need any help to get things done faster!" she said innocently... "I'll be fine." I chuckled. "I don't think he needs your company sister." came Luna's voice teasingly. "And what would you know?" shot Celestia playfully, I leaned back slightly... I wanted to hear this. "I know that our friend here deserves the company of a real mare." smirked Luna. "A real mare? I am a real mare!" protested Celestia. "Oh? well-" started Luna. "Err, your majesties? they will be ready for you in 10 minutes, as for you Sir Blacklight, King Cosmos requests you wear your armor." said a servant and the girls calmed down, he left and I shifted into my armour without the girls noticing, which was heavy black armor with a hood instead of a helmet, it made me 10 times more intimidating. "Right girls, go get ready." I said and they complied, Celestia looked back at me as she walked with a smile which I returned, she also wiggled her rump... it confused me... I still wasn't accustomed to some things. I walked after them but instead of veering into two different rooms I walked straight. I came across the throne room with my old friends there, Cosmos and Galaxia. "Blacklight, a pleasure as always." said the King, neither of them aged a day since our first encounter, due to Alicorns apparently being immortal. "Yes, it is great to see you." smiled Galaxia brightly. "It's an honour as always." I said with a slight bow, it's not often I bow to royalty, but these two fought hard to get where they are, and I respect that. "Now you're mocking us." chuckled Galaxia. "Perhaps I am." I said. "We shall have you stoned!" exclaimed Cosmos in humour. "Great! where's the weed?" I asked and we laughed, weed was still a drug here apparently. "The party is on in a few minutes, can you escort the girls?" asked Cosmos and I nodded, with Galaxia nudging her husband and winking... I walked down the corridor to their rooms, I saw them leaving as I....wobogepbenjklyk whaaaa...??? my thoughts were just destroyed by the sisters as they left their rooms all made up... they looked... beautiful I think is the word... for want of a better one... holy shit... Celestia had eyeliner on, with bright red lipstick and mascara... she looked amazing... Luna was much the same, with the same as her sisters but different colours. "I am to escort you to the ball-" I cut off as a stallion came from behind me and saw to Luna, he wasn't a guard... "Ah! my date has arrived! you do not need to escort me." smiled Luna and walked away with her 'date' and nodded to her sister at me, seemingly encouraging her to do something. Celestia approached me with a nervous smile. "Can... could you... be my date?" asked Celestia, the question caught me off guard... "I... err..." I trailed off. "Nevermind, let's ju-" I cut her off. "Yes, I would love to be your date for tonight, but I will need to leave the ball after a while." I warned. "It's fine." she smiled, and I draped a wing over her back as we walked. "You look absolutely beautiful." I whispered to her, causing her to blush. "I do?" she asked. "Yeah, you're certain to get the stallion, or mare of your dreams." I said. "I already do." she whispered... I couldn't make it out... We got to the doors to Luna who saw us and chuckled. "You certainly don't waste any time... well, let's do this." said Luna and we walked in, as ponies saw us, some gasped, others winked at me, mostly stallions, and some scowled, maybe jealousy? I saw Cosmos with a scowl, but he turned to me and Celestia and nodded with a smile, it was clear he didn't appreciate Luna's choice. Galaxia beamed when she saw Celestia and I walking together. I escorted her to the top step and took my place beside Cosmos as a guard. "Mares and gentlecolts, we are here today to properly crown Princess Celestia and Princess Luna as the true heirs to the throne, now you both must swear some vows." said the pope as I called him. "Very well, we accept." said Celestia, with a nod from Luna. "Repeat after me, I do hereby swear, to serve my subjects, and to be a fair ruler to all of the kingdom, I shall not knowingly hurt my little ponies and will listen to their plights." he said, and the sisters repeated in unison. "Now for the vow of chastity." he said, I saw their eyes widen, and I could swear Luna's date shook his head, and Cosmos and Galaxia looked confused. "I do hereby swear, to not engage in copulation and to remain chaste until 3 years after marriage." he said, something was off about him during this whole part. They hesitantly repeated and hung their heads afterwards, suddenly the slightly robotic look the pope was rocking during that vow disappeared. "I give you the heirs to the throne, Princess Celestia and Luna!" he exclaimed and the crowd cheered, I noticed Luna's date abandoned her. We went into the crowd and Celestia caught up with me. "Hello, Blacklight." she said. "Hey Celestia, finally happened, eh?" I asked. "So... you don't care?" she asked. "Care about what?" I asked. "The vow of... chastity..." he said. "Why would I?" I asked, and she smiled. "It's just dad is a little angry, as he and mother never had to take it." she said, she seemed to be hiding something... "Ah, well, I'm sure he'll get some answers." I smiled. "Yeah." she said. "I need to go, it was a pleasure to escort you." I smiled and she kissed me on the cheek, as I walked away I blushed... why was I feeling this way? this feeling was foreign to me... I headed back to the library and sorted some books out, the toast to them would occur soon, I was hoping to attend. I decided to check on Discord, to see why he was so reclusive... I knocked on his door a few times and opened the door with my key, opening it to find it empty... he must have went to the toast. (start at 1:30 for the feel I'm going for and stop at 2:30.) Suddenly I noticed something on his table... an orb... I approached it and saw it was the orb... that he warned me about... and a bottle of poison. I looked at the orb and felt myself compelled to look into it... but since I don't really have a brain to influence, it failed and I smashed the orb, knowing it's power. I suddenly pieced it together... I started to run back down to the hall, I descended the stairs quickly as I could, I couldn't use my biomass right off the bat after years of not using it. I burst in as I saw the rulers drink, I knocked the glasses from the girl's magic just in time as the King and Queen collapsed. "Your majesties!" I exclaimed and ran over to them as Cosmos was on a couch, his wife's head resting in his lap. "Blacklight... it was... Discord..." he wheezed as he trailed off as he died. "Cosmos?" I asked in vain. "Wha-" started a guard. "GUARDS! FIND DISCORD! EVERYPONY ELSE LEAVE US!" I yelled to the crowd, who complied, the sisters ran over to me. "Mother? father?" asked Celestia and I shook my head. "Are... are they..." started Luna and I nodded. "I wasn't fast enough..." I said. Celestia wrapped her hooves around me and I returned the hug, she cried into my shoulder slightly and Luna joined her on my other shoulder . "It wasn't your fault." she whispered. "I should've been faster." I mumbled. "You couldn't have been." she replied. "I failed." I said. "No you didn't." soothed Celestia. "You tried your best." said Luna. -2 weeks later- Lately the sisters had been dependant on me to teach them things, and I did, I taught them to deal with death. It also was when I was thrown. We were in the throne room when Discord appeared, he threw the guards against the wall and knocked them out. "It's time girls!" he laughed maniacally and made a clock appear which was ticking. "Not this time Discord..." I said and lunged at him, he tried to cast a spell but I took him through the wall and a spell hit the thing future Celestia gave me and everything went black...
Back in the loopSuddenly I shot my eyes open and groaned, I was on my back in pony form... what the hell happened? I rolled my ass over and got up. "The fuck?" I asked, there were fish swimming in the air... and the landscape was checkered... "Discord..." I growled and walked forwards. I looked to realise I was in a field... "Where the...?" I asked, I looked ahead and saw... it was Celestia and Luna! They were engaged in battle with some ponies... I headed over and turned my wings into blades and jumped into the fray, cleaving apart a few enemies who dared hurt my girls, they had a crazed look in their eyes... definately Discord. I cleaved apart a few more before a path to the sisters was clear. "Hey girls! having fun?" I asked, as I smashed a pony's head into the floor, they looked amazed for a second. "Bl...Blacklight?!" asked Celestia. "Yep, the one and only." I replied. "I thought you'd died! Discord said he'd killed you!" she exclaimed as we dodged hooves. "Nope, why? how long was I gone?" I asked. "1982 years..." she said... wow, they were 2000 years old. "I... I'm so sorry..." I said... it must feel as though I abandoned them, it made me feel horrible. "It's fine, I'm just glad you're back." she said and we stopped fighting for a second as we got a break and locked eyes before hugging, blood covering us and a couple scrapes and bruises. "Blacklight!" exclaimed Luna and hugged me as Celestia let go, I noticed all the ponies were dead. "What's the plan to get rid of Discord?" I asked as they cleaned themselves and me with magic. "We... we failed... the castle was destroyed..." said Luna and both sisters hung their heads. "So? a castle is a thing, I'm just glad both of you are safe." I smiled and we kept walking. "We have a plan, but we could have used your knowledge to help, I suppose there would've been no point seeing you always were a lazy flank." smiled Celestia. "You always had a fine flank..." I mumbled. Suddenly a deep blush spread across her face. "Hmm, what about poor old me?" asked Luna, who moved closer to me. "Well, 'old' is not the word I'd 've used..." I said, what the hell was I doing? why was I flirting with two Alicorns?! Two Alicorns I practically raised and birthed?! Two Alicorns... who had grown into beautiful mares... I shook my head and kept moving. "Where are we going?" I asked. "The Tree of Harmony." said Celestia, it was then I also noticed her satchel, the Tree of Harmony? as in the Elements of Harmony? hang on, I remember reading about it... We entered the Everfree and walked to a gorge, which we jumped down no problem. There was a shiny cave in front of us as we landed. "This it?" I asked. "Yes." confirmed Celestia. We entered the cave and I saw a crystalline tree, with what looked like the Elements at the end of each branch. "The Tree of Harmony..." said Luna. "Wow..." I said simply, truthfully I was unimpressed, I had read countless books on this tree. Both sisters flew up, looking beautiful with their wings spread and against the light of the tree. She cast her magic on the tree and the elements showed themselves… "Are you sure?" asked Luna and flew up next to her sister while I jumped up and stood on a branch. "We have managed to discover the only means by which we can defeat Discord and free the citizens of Equestria, even without these elements, the Tree of Harmony will possess a powerful magic, as long as that magic remains, it will continue to control and contain all that grows here." said Celestia and got the Elements. "Good things!" I exclaimed and hopped back down. "Indeed." smiled Celestia as they glided down "Let's take care of him." I said. "We are ready..." said Luna with a smile. "Good, lets go." I said and we walked out. I walked beside the sisters as we headed to Discord, apparently he was on a throne as well... the cheeky fucker... "What happened anyway?" I asked. "He... stole the throne out from under us... we failed in our duties, to you and our parents." said Celestia, almost in tears. "No you didn't, I'm proud of you, and I know your parents would be to." I smiled at them. "Really?" asked Luna. "Yes, you've both acted accordingly rather than letting him walk all over you, you've both turned into the rulers we need, the kind that can fight for their kingdom." I said. "Thank you." said Celestia and we locked eyes again... something about her eyes made me feel odd... same with Luna, but Luna wasn't one for eye contact so... "Yes, that means a lot to us." smiled Luna and I nodded. Suddenly I heard the laugh of what I can only assume is Discord... "Oh, this is so much fun! how about a game of 'Pin the Tail on the Pony'?" asked Discord but seeing me stopped him. "Evening." I said. "Ah! Blacklight! I thought you were dead... you look good for dead." he said. "Cut the shit Dizzy, I know you killed the King and Queen and you stole the throne from the Princesses." I said. "Maybe..." he said. "Playtime is over for you Discord!" said Celestia. "Oh, I doubt it, I mean what can three Alicorns do to me? hungry?" he asked. "Very, in fact I may just eat you." I threatened and he stopped in his tracks, distracted. Suddenly the Elements were bared. "Oh what's this?" he asked as they charged up "You should see yourselves! So stoic" he said. "Fuck you." I simply said as the sisters shot a beam, but it hit me instead and turned me into the beast again, I called it the Guardian, for it protected the peace in Equestria. I roared and grabbed his throat, slamming him into the ground over and over, dazing him. My tendrils started to dig into his body and slowly consume him. "Wait!" shouted Celestia, I looked over to her. "We have plans." said Luna and I retracted my tendrils and allowed the sisters to blast him as he burst out laughing, when the rainbow subsided he had turned to stone. "Checkmate, motherfucker." I said and turned back into a pony. "That was incredible!" exclaimed Luna. "Yeah yeah, I have my own abilities." I waved her off. "We should get back, we have built another castle in a different location." smiled Celestia. "Of course, where is it?" I asked. "In the Everfree forest." said Luna and we walked in, they knew the way by default and led me there. "Wow, it looks amazing!" I said. "Indeed! it has secret slides and traps that are fun to try and escape!" exclaimed Luna. "I bet." I chuckled as we entered, it was dimly lit but a single wave of Celestia's horn fixed that, I saw a lever and saw it was attached to a trapdoor beneath the Princesses, I pulled it while whistling and I heard the terrified yet joyful screams of the sisters as they fell. "Blacklight!" shouted Celestia. "Yes?" I asked and peered into the hole. "Would you mind letting us out?" asked Celestia. "I dunno..." I said. "Blacklight! we will get you back for this!" exclaimed Luna. "I love you to Luna." I replied and walked away. -2 hours later- Hmm, they were down there a long time... I went to check and saw the trapdoor closed. I looked at it and suddenly I saw Luna pull the handle, while I wasn't standing there. "Missed." I said and Luna shook her head as I felt to hooves push my flank. "Oh balls." I said as I fell. "We told you!" shouted Celestia, well I knew some tricks... Anti-gravity spell? check. I activated it and walked out, I deactivated it as I stepped on the original floor, Luna and Celestia were sprawled atop one another as they fell from the left wall. "We should've seen that coming." grumbled Luna and rubbed her head. I saw Celestia wasn't moving so I went over to her. "Celestia? Celly?" I asked teasingly and poked her, suddenly she rolled over and pulled me on top of her and we rolled a few times laughing before stopping and gazing into each other's eyes... "Bundle!" exclaimed Luna and jumped on my back, almost crushing Celesia beneath me. Well, this reunion went well... Author's Note Thanks to all those who've favorited! it means a lot to me and Marl! sorry for the short chapter.
