Peter Trotter: Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Pony

PAGE 1

PANEL 1: Darkness. Artsy!

CAPTION:

Spider-sense...

CAPTION:

Tingling!

PANEL 2: Panel is shaped like an hourglass. SPIDER-PONY, spider-sense flaring, tumbles through it along with a ton of sand. Outside of it PRINCESS LUNA and PONY DEATH OF THE ENDLESS watch him from their floating cafe table. Death looks bemused.

DEATH:

Nice costume.

SPIDEY:

Thanks.

LUNA:

There's sand in my frappuccino now.

SPIDEY:

Sorry!

PANEL 3:Spidey and the sand crash down into what looks like an outdoor garden restaurant. His spider-sense is still going off and will continue to do so though most of this. He squints in pain from the impact.

SPIDEY:

Though maybe it's just the all consuming buzzing but now I'm actually kinda...

SPIDEY:

Thirsty!!!

PANEL 4:The sand disperses as dust. Still in the pose he crashed down in Spidey is disconcertingly pushed up right as a chair sprouts out of the dust, complete with a table.

OFF PANEL VOICE:

Then order a drink, Tiger!

SPIDEY:

But I don't know what they serve here! Or where here even is! There's something I've got to do somewhere else...

SPIDEY:

Do...do I know you?

PANEL 5:A pony that might be TWILIGHT SPARKLE, except blonde with a red head streak, is sitting at the other end of the table. Behind her Luna is ordering herself another drink. Death cleans some dust out of her hair.

DREAM DATE:

Of course you do. I'm your dream date!

PAGE 2

PANEL 1: Spidey sits up a little, pushing his chair back. Behind him BEE PONY takes a seat at BEN FRANKLIN PONY'S table.

SPIDEY:

Of course. How could you not be.

SPIDEY:

Except this feels like a real world date, because I want to stay...

PANEL 2:Spidey slips a little as he makes his way from the table into the thick bushes. The ground is made of sticky looking mud. Dream Date sadly rests her chin on her hoof. At the next table UNCLE GLEN plays chess with the shadowy figure of THE BURGLAR.

SPIDEY:

...but I have to leave.

SPIDEY:

Besides this is kinda muddy for a perfect place. Hi Uncle Glen! Sorry for letting you down.

UNCLE GLEN:

Stop blamin' yourself so much and stand up straight.

SPIDEY:

Sorry.

PANEL 3:Spidey emerges from the bushes into a high school hallway. The floor is also muddy. He holds his head from the nagging spider-sense.

SPIDEY:

I sure feel sorry. This jangling is giving me a wicked bad headache!

SPIDEY:

Feels like I'm forgetting something...

PANEL 4:Spidey recoils in horror. Around him the cast of Archie but with Venom faces point and laugh.

SPIDEY:

Oh no.

SPIDEY:

I went to school in my Spidey suit again!

SFX:

HA HA HA HA HA HA

PANEL 5:Spidey strains away at a locker door, suddenly wearing a dorky bow tie and glasses combo.

SPIDEY:

So what else is new?

SPIDEY:

Anypony in there?

PANEL 5:A tidal wave comes roaring out of the locker towering over Spidey. At the top is PONY DREAM OF THE ENDLESS.

SPIDEY:

Oh.

PAGE 3

PANEL 1:Spidey is swept up in the wave, which actually knocks him right out of the panel. Another figure, not Dream, shoots through the water towards him.

SPIDEY:

This headache forgets if spiders can swim or not...

PANEL 2:The Roman god statuesque stallion version of DREAM AQUAMANE, complete with a mane like golden water it's beautiful for real real, bursts out of the water to hold Spidey in his hooves.

SPIDEY:

Oh Aquamane!

PANEL 3: Spidey leans in towards Dream Aquamane, his mask having grown a mouth all of a sudden. His eyes are closing.

SPIDEY:

You're so...so strong...

PANEL 4: Another place entirely. Spidey, the lower half of his mask rolled up, sits bolt upright gasping. His Spider-sense is no longer buzzing.

SPIDEY:

GUGH-HUGH!!!

PANEL 5: Spidey recoils in shock as the real world AQUAMANE beams down at him.

AQUAMANE:

You're alive, my bug eyed buddy! Outrageous!

SPIDEY:

Gugh-huh?!

PAGE 4

PANEL 1: Spidey pulls his mask back down, looking around at the devastation: an unconscious SANDPAPER PONY sprawls in a streak of sand on what turns out to be the city docks.

AQUAMANE:

Steady now, that was quite a drop into the drink!

SPIDEY:

Manehattan water? Explains the taste...how hard did Sandpaper hit me again?

AQUAMANE:

Not half as hard as my friends in that whale pod hit that beachcombing blackguard!

PANEL 2: Aquamane hauls Spidey to his feet and gestures at something off panel which startles the web-slinger.

AQUAMANE:

But it was in fact his target which bore you to the briny deeps!

PANEL 3: It's a tall but soggy statue of Dream. A webline trails from it's base.

AQUAMAN:

Striking fellow isn't he?

SPIDEY:

And yet kinda familiar...

AQUAMAN:

Morpheus, Atlantian king of dreams!

PANEL 4: Spidey rings the water out of his tail as Aquamane goes on.

AQUAMANE:

Our sandy swindler must have been trying to make off with it and other such artifacts stored here as part of one of those theme capers you surface types enjoy so much!

SPIDEY:

I remember! They'd fetch even more on the black market than they cost to restore!

AQUAMANE:

Glad to see all that water you inhaled dragging him back ashore hasn't addled your mind, little chum!

PANEL 5: Spidey waves at Aquamane as he swings off, the king of the sea-ponies putting his hooves on his hips.

AQUAMANE:

You should remember this night fondly! The king of dreams is quick to reward anyone who would would risk life and lungs for any totem of his!

SPIDEY:

Thanks big kahuna but, as a stallion of science, I think I'll stick to risking those for stuff I can actually understand!

SPIDEY:

Like alien symbiotes and cosmic world devourers and norse gods and Pink Floyd lyrics and...

PAGE 5

PANEL 1:Most panels have a cloud like shape. The city is full of web slinging background ponies, among them FEROCIOUS FLATTOP editor of the Derby Bugle. A sign over the city reads "Welcome to Spider-Island".  Flattop is so happy, you have no idea.

FLATTOP:

I'M AS GIDDY AS A SCHOOL GIRL!!!

PANEL 2: PETER TROTTER, wearing a Spidey t-shirt shares a table with Dream Date as LEAPARDON serves them a platter of HOSTESS FRUIT PIES.

LEAPARDON:

YOUR ORDER, SIR.

TROTTER:

Thanks 'Don.

PANEL 3: Same shot. Trotter sits up straighter as a thought strikes him. The cloud panel around him pops in a shower of cloud and fruitpies. He's actually sitting up in bed.

TROTTER:

Wait.

TROTTER:

How did he resuscitate me?

PANEL 4: Exterior shot of Trotter's apartment building. We can see him through the bathroom window, frantically pouring toothpaste down his gullet. One of the shadows on the wall is taking on the likeness of a faintly smiling MORPHEUS. The title is spelt out on this shadow.

TITLE: The Spectacular Spider-Pony

IN:

THE BEST MEDITATION

PANEL 5: Luna and Death at their table. Death is peering into her drink.

DEATH:

I think there's sand in my mocha.

LUNA:

That's a fuit pie, dear.

DEATH:

...keen!