The Cost of Asylum

Twilight knew this day was coming. She knew it would happen eventually, had even been given plenty of warning unlike with her parents. As even Celestia had warned her though, knowing something and experiencing it were two different things.

Shining Armor's health had been in decline for a long while. At almost two centuries he was no spring chicken and he knew it. His affairs had long ago been put in order and he'd had many conversations with both Cadance and his children as well as with the alicorns of Fortitude. They all knew it was coming, but it still hurt.

He'd passed quietly in the night, his family and friends present in his shared bedroom in the Crystal Palace. Celestia had held both Cadance and Twilight, being the closest thing to a mother either had left. She cried, she drank some water when Celestia had suggested it, she cried some more, and when Celestia offered, she spent the night under her mentor's wing. Cadance...from what Twilight had heard, the alicorn mare was worse off than she was. All her foals, all her friends, even Luna, Ares, and Celestia had been unable to console the grieving widow. Worse yet Cadance had at one point left the palace, though Ares had tagged her with a tracking spell just in case such an event came to pass. He came back with her a day later from what she'd heard, though Cadance had looked like she'd walked through a wood chipper.

Twilight and Cadance had both refused to even try to think of something to say for the eulogy, leaving it to Celestia and Ares. Both had treated the affair with the utmost dignity and respect they could manage. The only point of contention was Chrysalis' presence, something that had been Ares' one request during the preparation. Cadance had been outraged at first, spewing some of the most hateful things Twilight had ever heard. Even more surprising was the changeling's reaction. Or in that case the lack of one. Ares had eventually won out and Chrysalis was allowed to be present but it was a very near thing.

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Twilight nodded along mindlessly as Celestia spoke. She already knew most of the accomplishments the older mare was attributing to her brother. She'd been present for more than a few, after all. The white alicorn finished her long litany of accomplishments and strengths, ending with the ever-popular statement that she was happy to have known him.

'I think she said the same thing at mom and dad's funerals,' Twilight thought with a bit of disdain. Perhaps that was how Celestia did it. She went on auto-pilot, allowing her years of practice to guide her actions so that she didn't have to think too much about the loss. Or maybe she was overthinking things. Ares said she did that pretty often. Maybe it was just the number. After seeing so many ponies you knew pass away, maybe it just hurt less.

"It doesn't hurt less. She's just delaying her emotions until she can find a private place to grieve."

Jerking at the sudden intrusion, the purple alicorn was surprised to find it was Chrysalis of all ponies that was speaking to her.

"I can still feel it. I can still taste it. Luna and Ares weren't as close to him as Celestia was, but even they taste of bitter sorrow. Luna does at least. Ares takes death...differently from ponies. Make no mistake, he is saddened by the loss but he accepts death as a part of life. We've had a few conversations on the topic actually. It may be surprising to hear but he still hasn't come to terms with his immortality. Unlike yourself, he was removed from the same world as his family before he became immortal. He didn't see those of his blood age and die. He regrets it sometimes."

"How the hay can a pony regret not watching their family die?" Twilight hissed in shock as Ares approached the lectern beside her brothers casket.

The queen cocked her head slightly.

"Do you ever visit the graves of your parents?"

"Of course I do, I do it every...oh."

"Ares assumes that after several hundred years his family is dead but he really has no idea. Perhaps time flows differently for us, perhaps if he were to find his own home out there in the endless void he would arrive the day he disappeared. He doesn't know. As such you have something he may never have, Twilight Sparkle. Closure. The grief will pass in time but even Celestia and Luna can confirm their parents have passed. And while I don't hold the same connection to my mother as most species, I believe I will... I think I will miss Pulmonus. She has been good to me. She taught me things about my species I'd never known, kept me calm during my first few weeks in Metrocity, and helped me make sense of the ways ponies think. She has been without a doubt the closest thing to your definition of a mother I've ever known."

Twilight nodded in understanding. While the queen's refusal to have her body healed by magic and her desire to pass on was a totally alien concept to her when she'd first met the mare, Twilight believed she was beginning to understand. Not fully of course, the changeling queen made even Celestia seem young by comparison in spite of neither of them giving her a number to measure their comparative ages by. The changeling queen had already experienced motherhood, nearly from the moment she became a queen. And no matter the reason for their meetings, Pulmonus had always seemed...tired. The old queen was always tired, like she was just exhausted with the very idea of life.

'Like Celestia was after Canterlot.'

Twilight felt bad letting her mind wander like this. She felt like she should be focused on her brother, what his passing meant. But she'd spent too many days on it already. She was tired of crying. Cadance was as well, come to think of it. The mare didn't cry, she just looked tired. Tired like Celestia was before Ares had officially announced his plans to court her(on her birthday no less). Tired like Pulmonus was each time Twilight saw the changeling sitting in the library, gazing at the stars while talking to ponies who weren't there.

Twilight's ear twitched. Ares was approaching the end of his eulogy. He usually had some little tidbit that she would bethinking over afterwards. What would it be this time?

"Moving has always been hardest for those who are left behind. This pertains not only to moving to a new home, but those who leave us behind on their journey to what lies beyond," Ares said from the front, bowing his head and calling for silence.

Twilight smiled a bit at that. He'd offered that bit to her two days ago, citing it as a bit of alien wisdom that ponies never discovered on their own. She always enjoyed getting him to talk about what little he remembered of his home, be it some strange tech he was adamant used no magic or some disaster their current projects reminded him of. It wasn't just her, either. The stallion had come down hard on both her trans-dimensional portal and Luna's bacteria that would quickly repair damage to a body and even protect it from sickness in the future.

He'd grilled her mercilessly on hundreds of scenarios, from poisonous atmospheres to hostile aliens to opening a portal to a vacuum, if she wasn't able to account for everything he threw at her he wouldn't let her open a portal. She'd gotten mad of course, not seeing what the big deal was when Luna had laughed at her anger. Her own project had been shut down, but for some reason she bore the stallion no ill will.

"Tell me, Twilight sparkle. Have you never read fiction? There are at least seven stories that I have read in the last week by his recommendation, all end-of-the-world stories based on a super virus or sickness that was made by mortal beings that wiped out civilization. He has also spoken of your project. He had already seen one world he thought to be myth, a story that was heralded as fiction. If that world existed even in that twisted form, others may as well. The Flood, the Zerg, Tyranids, Chaos-spawn, zombie viruses, the Forced Evolution Virus, or the Reapers. All of these could be waiting on the other side of that portal, and every single one of them could end the world as we know it. While the prospect of exploring these worlds is interesting, we must be cautious not to damn our own world in our carelessness."

That had been an interesting month. After her conversation with Luna she'd asked Ares what those creatures or diseases were and he'd explained it in as much detail as he could. He had mused later on that it hadn't been his best idea.

Twilight had thrown herself into a panicked race to find counters to as many disasters as possible, worrying that her project may have already signaled some of these monsters to their world. It was almost a week later that Ares had walked into her lab and dragged her to the herd's bathroom, where Luna and Celestia had scrubbed her down before making her eat and go to bed. When her panicked attempts to reason with the alicorn's had failed, she'd teleported back to her lab after inhaling a quick meal.

That hadn't been acceptable.

Ares, this time flanked by the two alicorn mares, once more walked into her lab and threw a dampener on her horn. Luna hit her with a sleep spell and that was the end of it. Twilight woke up three days later with a pounding headache, a really dry throat, and a note stating that the herd had locked her lab until further notice. After three attempts to get into the lab her brother had shown up, absolutely furious.

"What the hay do you think you're doing?" Shining Armor yelled, his eyes blazing as he stomped up to his sister.

"I have to fix this!" Twilight had shouted right back, her pupils nearly pinpricks. "There are things out there, so many things that could go wrong! If we don't have a way to stop them-"

Shining armor shook his head.

"Twilight, you're killing yourself over something that can't be helped. Have you looked in the mirror lately? Celestia left that dampener on you for your own safety! You went a full week without even eating or sleeping! When they finally decided to force the issue, you went right back to your lab!"

"This is more important than that!" Twilight argued. "What are we going to do if monsters show up in Equestria? What happens if hyper ninja killer alien space zombies of doom fall from the sky tomorrow? We have to do something, I have to do something!"

"Twilight, it's literally impossible to cover every scenario that could possibly occur, especially when you start taking into consideration the fact that according to Ares some worlds may not even have magic. They may even be immune to magic or explosively allergic to it, WE DON'T KNOW! We can't! It doesn't help anypony if you drive yourself mad trying to do the impossible!"

Twilight sputtered, her anger not fading in the slightest.

"So you're siding with them? Over your sister?"

"I trust them to watch over you when I can't," he answered, his voice becoming softer. "I trust them to watch you when I won't be able to."

"What does...BBBFF?"

The stallion sighed, stepping closer and parting his mane. Twilight wasn't certain what he was trying to show her at first, then she finally saw it. His mane was dyed.

"What does that have to do with...oh no. No no no no-"

"Twilie, I know you haven't been paying attention. It's painful, I get it. Cadie gets the same way sometimes. But I won't be here forever. Celestia's the oldest pony I know and she almost gave up. She told me herself that if it wasn't for Luna and Ares she wouldn't have had the strength to go on anymore, not after Canterlot."

"I'm not telling you to join their herd," he dismissed, smiling softly as he pulled her into a hug. "Just remember that they're there in case you need them. They love you, even if you don't care about them in that way. I want you to watch out for Cadance, too. I've tried talking to her about this, but she won't hear it. She's, I'm scared for her, Twilie. Just help Celestia, Luna and Ares watch her, okay? And don't be afraid to talk to them if you need to."

The stallion had harped on her consistently about seeking others and not letting herself become a shut-in again, especially considering her one friend from that time was reaching the end of his life. Shining wouldn't always be there to drag her out to the park or get on her case about her lack of a social life. She'd even heard him charging the alicorn herd with her care on several occasions, to her embarrassment.

"Shiny always did put others before himself," she whispered.

"Indeed. That's why he asked Celestia and Luna to keep a close eye on your sister in law and you for at least the first few weeks," Chrysalis answered quietly. "We have all dealt with loss, Sparkle."

Twilight nodded as Ares stepped down and ponies began to approach to pay their respects. Everyone but Cadance, who was already leaving.

"I know. It doesn't make it any easier."

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Ares walked down a darkened hallway of his home, knocking on a door and sitting down to wait. It didn't take long for his son to open it, the stallion looking both surprised and curious.

"Something you need, dad?"

The older alicorn smiled.

"I'd like to talk. You're not doing anything important right now, are you?"

"Uh, not really," Star muttered. "Come on in."

Ares walked in behind Star, looking about the room as his son walked back to a mirror. The foals of the herd all kept rooms in the home, even if Lancing only used hers once in a blue moon. Star was currently beginning his studying of other planets and how to colonize them. A long term study to be certain but after being given so many stories of space-age civilizations the colt had made his decision. He'd put a mortal pony on the moon and give them the means to make a living up there.

Watching his son sitting in front of the mirror and citing the laws of magic under his breath Ares knew the kid was stressed. A small box on the vanity told him all he needed to know.

"Life's got a hell of a way of screwing us over with timing, doesn't it?"

Star slowed in his mumbling, opening an eye and noticing his father's focus. Deciding to keep quiet, he merely nodded.

"You were going to ask her, weren't you? On that date?"

Once more star nodded, a shudder of grief going through his form.

"I, I'd been working myself up for it for almost four months. I have the things, the-the ring, the feather and the bangle like you got for momma Tia, I was going to do it after the date, but-"

"But news reached her first," Ares finished, nodding sadly. "Did you know that Tia and I were both insane when we first met?"

The colt looked at him in confusion and he grinned.

"If either of us had been in our right minds we could have helped each other. I would have served under her, helping to guard her and her ponies, and I would have had a purpose and people who would help me adjust to a new world. As it was we were both too broken. She was still fighting the grief of losing her sister and I was still trying to come to terms with what was happening. I'd been stuck in that place for...I think it was almost eighty years. It doesn't sound like much, but I went in very much a mortal. I find a way out, freedom, and the first thing that happened was they imprisoned me for questioning. I went from an island prison to a jail cell. From what I read later on they thought I was a raving madpony and Celestia decided it was safer to banish me from Equestria than to deal with me, so she did. I hated her, she thought I was insane. Almost six hundred years later and we're in a relationship, happy."

"So the moral of the story is I still have to wait a couple hundred years?" Star snorted in irritation before flattening his ears. "Sorry."

"The difference is that you and Twilight are both of sound mind, even if one is currently grieving. You also both have a loving family to support you in this time. Tia and I had neither."

Pulling the smaller alicorn into a hug, Ares rustled Star's mane with a bit of magic.

"Give her a few days, maybe a few months to recover, Star. After that try another date. Believe it or not you're a solid part of her life. She talks to Luna all the time about what you two do on your dates, about how much she's enjoyed them. You could even ask to take her somewhere on Saturday, just to get her out and about. When you feel she's recovered, ask her. I'm sure Chrysie would be happy to tell you when her grief has subsided if you're not certain yourself."

Star Struck nodded, sniffling slightly before he smiled.

"I suppose I should visit the grave. I though he'd almost planned it, you know. Like Shining had decided he had to get one last lick in..."

"Don't think ill of the dead," Ares cautioned. "Remember them however you will, but always do your best to move on. I've told you and your sisters this a lot, haven't I?"

"You have," Star said. "I know it's wrong, but I just...it doesn't change how I feel."

"Twilight's only just seen her brother laid to rest today, Star. She'll want someone to talk to, someone besides Tia and Luna. It doesn't even have to be dates, just talk to her. This is when you learn the most about someone. Both how an individual reacts to bad situations, as well as who's going to be there for you when you need them. Don't leave that mare wondering where you were when she was at her lowest. I'll pluck you myself if you do. No son of mine's going to be thought of as a coward."

The colt chuckled at the threat, having heard similar threats growing up. Ares often used them to underline something he thought was important. Taking a steadying breath, Star Struck nodded.

"Maybe coffee on Saturday followed by a reading session."

Ares nodded.

"You were worried she'd never even look at you as an adult, Star. Now you're upset that you were a few hours away from asking her to marry you. It's progress, even if this set you back. Just remember it's an opportunity as well. A way to show her that you're not just there for the good."

"For better and for worst," the younger stallion said, leaning closer to his father. "Thanks dad."