Big Mac sighed as he set down his signature yoke on the floor of his bedroom and got ready to head to his usual hangout. He had been at this for five years now, ever since that one fateful day.
He walked out of the house and headed for the nearby city of Stalliongrad to find the bar. He kept his head down and hands in his pockets to ward off the chill that was constant in the cold city.
He spotted the bar, like a small haven in the cesspool that was Stalliongrad. It wasn’t that the city was falling apart or a run down shanty-town, it was just a home for those who had less than shady backgrounds. Perfect for one to get lost in when they don’t want to be found.
He entered the bar and was greeted by the familiar stench he had long grown accustomed to, the smell of alcohol and smoke. In one of the corners a stallion was playing on the piano, something slow and depressing. Fitting for the mood he was looking for.
It was mostly empty save the bartender, the pianist, and one figure sitting at the tables though he couldn’t tell the gender due to the large cloak. The figure shifted as he entered but he paid no mind. Strangers always breezed through the bars, whether it be this one or another one.
“Hey Red, the usual?” the bartender, a one eyed griffon, asked.
“Same as always” he grunted as he sat on one of the stools.
The bartender chuckled and shook his head, filling a glass before sliding it down the counter into the stallion’s hand.
Big Mac didn’t drink to forget, no, he drank to remember what he had done. The only time he could forget was during work and that was something he could not stand. He could never forget, nor forgive himself, for what had happened.
As the glass was emptied and refilled, the memories slowly started flowing back. The ever so dark, depressing memory. The day that everything had changed. From being the loved stallion that was the backbone of Apple Acres to the pariah that was hated through pretty much of all Equestria.
That hated memory, that accursed memory.
The memory of the day he had killed Twilight Sparkle.
“Big Mac, you done yet?” Applejack hollered.
“Almost sis” Big Mac grunted as he sat down the last barrel of apples. “There, done” he panted as wiped the sweat off his brow.
“Great!” Applejack cheered. “Alright everyone! Come an’ get some of Sweet Apple Acres famous apples!”
She almost regretted shouting so loud. The ground could be seen shaking as a stampede of customers came charging in, each demanding their own type of apple and how much of it they wanted.
She and Big Mac managed to last out, though there had been a few close shaves and a few times were Big Mac had to stop the customers from smashing the stand.
“Ah say we did pretty good today, right Big Mac?” Applejack grinned as she hefted a large bag filled with bits in it.
“Eeyup” Mac said, chewing on his wheat stalk as he picked up a small wooden basket. “Can yah handle gettin’ this home yerself?”
“Course Ah can” Applejack snorted. “Ah know why you’re in such a rush” she continued, a grin forming on her face. “Got ah hot date with a certain someone, don’t cha?”
Big Mac thanked Celestia his natural color was red, otherwise his sister would have seen him sporting an impressive blush.
“Ah reckon you should mind yer own business” he grumbled before forming a grin of his own. “Besides, Ah’m certain a particular mare is waitin’ on you” Big Mac teased back, indicating the curly purple maned female approaching.
Big Mac gave himself a mental pat on the back as he ran from the stand and Applejack’s apple throwing wrath.
“Always too easy” Mac chortled.
Big Mac walked the rest of the way through Ponyville, waving to a few of the inhabitants he knew. Pinkie Pie working at Sugarcube Corner, throwing him a muffin. For some reason, Pinkie had stopped making cupcakes and couldn’t look Rainbow Dash in the eye.
He just shrugged his shoulders and bit into the muffin, nodding to Ditzy as she went about her mail deliveries. He couldn’t tell if her eye was like that due to a mental handicap like everyone said, leading to her rather rude nickname of Derpy, or a medical condition. From what he could tell was that because of it her depth perception would be shot and the blind spots in her vision would be greater, leading her to run into quite a few objects which led most people to believe her condition was mental related. Poor thing.
“Hey there” a voice whispered, a familiar body heat sliding up next to him.
“Hey beautiful” Mac whispered back. “How are you Twilight?”
“I was doing fine, but now I’m a lot better” the lavender haired girl giggled. “You still up for that picnic?”
“Eeyup” Mac grinned, holding up the basket.
“Great! Let’s go!” Twilight cheered, pulling him by the hand.
Macintosh let a small smile play over his face as he listened to her laughter. He thought back to the day they first started getting interested in each other.
It was one of the days he and Applejack were running the stand and Twilight happened to be buying some apples when Ditzy came up with two packages. She had accidentally mixed up the deliveries and handed Mac Twilight’s package with Twilight receiving his.
Both opened their deliveries at the same time and realized Ditzy’s mistake. Big Mac had received Twilight’s copy of a book on geographical studies, primarily on fruit and their growth while Twilight found Mac’s book of advanced mathematics.
They had been surprised at the others interest in their subject and had lead to some small talk. After that, they continued meeting inside Twilight’s library and Apple Acres to talk more. One thing led to another and suddenly they were going out.
This had surprised quite a few of Ponyville’s inhabitants, everyone had thought he would end up with Fluttershy. He had tried talking with the yellow and pink Pegasus a few times but . . .
“Hullo there Fluttershy” Big Mac greeted.
The only response he got was a squeak and a thud as Fluttershy passed out . . . again.
She was beautiful in her own right but having to carry her home every time he uttered a single word to her got tiresome after a while. Sure they may have similar interests but so did he and Twilight though the interests lay in intellectual pursuits rather than animals. Plus her ability to gather so many apples with her magic was a good bonus.
It had grown dark as the two enjoyed their picnic, talking about past experiences and interests before silently watching the stars together.
Big Mac quietly put everything back as Twilight gently snored against the tree they had been under, smiling softly as he easily hefted her up with one arm into a bridal carry.
Macintosh silently snuck into the library, careful not to disturb Spike who had posted himself on a chair near the door in an effort to surprise the two on their return but succumbed to sleeps embrace.
He tucked Twilight into her bed, leaving a chaste kiss upon her lips and brushing her hair back. His heart nearly melted at the peaceful sigh and smile, Twilight murmuring something as she snuggled into her bed.
“Ah love you Twilight” Mac whispered before blowing out the candle in the small lantern and leaving the library.
As he walked home he was greeted by his friend Caramel and a few other guys who were about to go drinking. Now Big Mac wasn’t normally a drinker but he couldn’t really bring himself to say no.
After a few hours of drinking, even Big Mac’s natural resilience had fallen to the sway of intoxication. He barely made it to the door, everything swirling and turning.
“Don’t worry Big Mac, I’ll help you home” a voice purred to his left.
Big Mac looked down to see none other than Twilight Sparkle standing next to him with a sultry smile on her face. Her voice seemed a bit odd but he played it off to the alcohol he had consumed.
He tried mumbling his thanks but came out as a slur of nonsense that had Twilight giggling.
“Come on big guy, let’s get you somewhere nice and comfy so the real fun can begin” Twilight smiled, lust playing in her eyes.
Big Mac was slightly confused but nodded his head and followed her out into the night.
Macintosh Apple had no idea what time it was when he awoke, nor how long he had been asleep, NOR where he was.
As he gathered his bearings, he found himself inside his barn in one of the back corners. He was about to get up when he heard a groan next to him, a female one.
His eyes slowly widening in horror, he looked to see his fears confirmed. Next to him lay a purple colored pony with dark blue hair, with the smell of copulation in the air.
If he was lucky, he could sneak her out of there before anyone found them like this.
“Thanks fer your help Twilight, Ah don’ know where that idiot of a brother is and Ah can’t take care of the fields myself” a familiar voice said, right outside the barn.
“It’s no trouble Applejack” a voice replied. “He’s a big stallion and can take care of hims- what’s that smell?”
Big Mac knew that his life was now forfeit.
What came next would result in the eventual down spiral that was Big Mac’s life. His sister and the love of his life had found him with the girl from the bar just waking up, asking if he was ready to go again.
Applejack nearly broke his skull with the first punch while Twilight broke his heart with those eyes and the words ‘I hate you Macintosh Apple!’
He tried to explain what had happened but Twilight had already ran away and by the time he had finished explaining to Applejack, she broke a few ribs with the next punch calling him a fool for letting himself get so drunk.
Word spread through town, the towns ponies that once looked up to him wouldn’t even look in his general direction. His name was now even less than equal to mud.
And Twilight. . . she hadn’t come out of her library since then, and that had been two weeks ago.
He tried multiple times to try and go talk to her but was met with a very angry dragon nearly roasting his hide off along with clawing his eyes out.
On his third attempt he managed to catch a glimpse of her, and the sight had haunted him since. Her once beautiful hair was now disheveled and slick with grease from not being washed, tear stains ran from her bloodshot eyes and even at a distance he could see her ribs showing through her shirt.
Big Mac couldn’t take it, he was ready to end it but not without saying goodbye to her one last time.
He managed to draw out a time schedule of Spike leaving the library to buy food and bring some of Twilight’s friends over to try and cheer her up.
Big Mac watched as Spike leave, this time to fetch Pinkie Pie. He knew that he had a bit of time due to Sugarcube Corner being a five minute walk away. He gave himself a minute to quietly sneak in right after Spike left and gently shut the door.
He immediately went for Twilights’ room to find her not there. He started panicking when he heard a drawer being opened from the kitchen. Mac darted down the stairs to see Twilight holding a knife, poised over her breast.
Time seemed to slow down as Macintosh Apple shouted in anguish as the blade entered her bosom and a sigh escape her lips. He caught her as she fell back, cradling her head in his lap and stroking her hair.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry” he sobbed as he held her close, tears streaming down his face.
“Mac” Twilight said, reaching up and stroking his cheek. “I forgive-” but fell silent before finishing her sentence.
Big Mac wiped away the tears in his eyes along the sleeve of his shirt, pulling out the knife from her chest.
“And I really think- TWILIGHT!” a voice shouted.
Big Mac looked up to see Spike and Pinkie Pie both standing there, eyes widened in terror at the sight of the farm pony kneeling over Twilight with a knife in his hand and a blossoming red stain on the front of the unicorns chest.
Mac said nothing, what could he say? All he did was stand up and shoved past the two, still stunned at what they saw and started running. He kept running as the cry of murder rose up in Ponyville, he kept running as the royal guard of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna scoured the lands for him, and he kept running till the green hills turned to snowy mountains.
He may not have been the one to put that knife into her chest, but he was still the one who took her life.
He had changed his name to Red Dawn and had a tattoo scrubber cover his cutie mark. Even in his drunken haze he still winced at the procedure.
After that fateful day he had considered taking his life again many, many times but could never do it. He realized after while he couldn’t do it because he was scared, but because living was his punishment. The memory haunting every waking and sleeping moment for the rest of his natural life.
“So ‘Red Dawn’, what are you trying to forget?”
Big Mac looked over to see the cloaked stranger sitting next to him. The voice was slightly higher pitched, leading him to believe that the stranger was female.
“Not trying to forget, but remember” Mac grunted, taking another swig of his drink. If he wasn’t inebriated, he would’ve wondered how she knew his name if they never met.
“Remember what? Something like say, five years ago?” she asked accusingly.
Big Mac froze, his drink halfway off the counter. He knew it was bound to happen eventually but he figured it would’ve been a contingent of guards for him, not some stranger.
“What do you want?” Mac growled.
“It’s not what Trixie wants, but you want” she purred.
Mac felt his eyebrows rise. He remembered from all those years ago when the ‘Great and Powerful’ Trixie had arrived in Ponyville. If he recalled correctly, an Ursa Minor soon followed after.
“Trixie is here to offer you something” the show pony continued.
“Whatever it is your selling, I’m not buying” Mac grunted.
“Even if it’s a chance to go back and fix your mistake?” Trixie questioned.
She found herself pined up against a wall with Mac’s hand around her throat, her feet dangling high in the air.
“Don’t even joke like that” Mac hissed.
The bartender and the pianist said nothing but kept a wary eye on the large red stallion.
“Not, joking. Just, hear me out!” Trixie wheezed, not even referring to herself in the third person.
“You have ten seconds” Mac said letting her slump to the floor.
Trixie coughed as air rushed back into her lungs and rubbed her neck gingerly while glaring at Mac. “Years ago, when Trixie managed to get back onto speaking terms with Twilight she told me of some of her experiences, one having to do with a certain spell.”
“And what spell is that? Bringing the dead back to life?” Mac snorted.
“No, not even the Princesses’ themselves could do something like that” Trixie said. “The spell Twilight told Trixie about was one that allowed a pony to go back in time.”
Mac froze in disbelief. A time traveling spell? Impossible! But Twilight would not lie about something like that, would she?
“Why are you telling me this?” Mac asked warily.
“Because believe it or not Trixie misses her too” Trixie mumbled. “She was Trixie’s rival, even if only Trixie saw it that way. She was the marker Trixie strived to surpass, even if Trixie knew she would never actually be able to do it.”
“But why come to me, why not do the spell yourself?” Mac asked.
“Because the spell only allows the user a small amount of time before returning, and the amount of magic needed is greater than Trixie can produce” she said quietly.
“Meaning?”
“If Trixie were to use the spell, I would perish from magical overuse” she said somberly, switching back to first person. “And the only way to prevent what happened five years ago would be for you to go back and stop yourself. If Trixie had somehow survived the spell and told you five years ago you would be responsible for Twilight’s death, would you believe Trixie?”
Mac nodded his head in agreement. If Trixie had done so he would’ve called crazy and went on with his life and ended Twilight’s.
“Plus you alone know how exactly Twilight died, and so you alone are the only one to stop it” Trixie said, poking his chest. “So, are you willing to undo the greatest mistake of your life?”
Mac thought quietly for a second. Fix his mistake and see Twilight again, smiling?
“When do we start?”
“Are you ready, Big Macintosh?” Trixie asked, holding a tome in her hands.
“What will happen after when I change the past?”
“Trixie is . . . unsure. If, no when, you are successful then everything here shall cease to be. All that you see around you will stop being as this is the result of your actions all those years ago. Changing the past will change what is now, and what will be.”
Mac felt a slight headache coming on, like when Twilight tried explaining trans-dimensional theories to him. “Just start this thing” Mac sighed.
“Very well Macintosh Apple, but remember, you only have a small amount of time to do this. If you cannot find yourself in the past, then not only will nothing change but you will never gain a chance like this ever again. Good luck, and may Celestia be with you.”
Macintosh felt a tugging sensation all over his body, like something trying to pull him back while stretching in all directions. Then, with a flash of light, he was gone.
Mac silently snuck into the library, careful not to disturb Spike who had posted himself on a chair near the door in an effort to surprise the two on their return but succumbed to sleeps embrace.
He tucked Twilight into her bed, leaving a chaste kiss upon her lips and brushing her hair back. His heart nearly melted at the peaceful sigh and smile, Twilight murmuring something as she snuggled into her bed.
“Ah love you Twilight” Mac whispered before blowing out the candle in the small lantern and leaving the library.
As he walked out he felt a small stone impact the back of his head and turned, missing the sight of Caramel and a few others walking towards the bar.
His eyes strained against the dark, spotting a large figure standing against a wall. Mac felt his eyes widen as the figure flashed him a large toothy grin and a thumbs up as he slowly faded away. He rushed to the figure only to find him gone and the words ‘Never let her go’ echoing through the air.
Time. During our time in life a single moment can lead to a persons greatest achievement or their greatest failure.
Sometimes, when we fail, we never get the second chance to fix our mistakes.
However, when we do, always remember: Timing is everything.
