Peering over the edge of mortality
What would you do for the mare you love?
The grand crystal clock tower clanged out a resounding twelve, it was midnight in the prosperous capital of the Crystal Empire. Garbed in a nondescript cloak a feeble figure departed the express train and off towards the castle. Despite the lack of light he expertly navigated the streets, it didn't take him long to reach the grand doors. After a quick double check to make sure nopony was watching he ducked inside and ditched his disguise.
Underneath the cloak was a stallion anypony could name at a glance, the second highest monarch of the empire, Shining Armor. To anyone unfamiliar with him perhaps they might have assumed he was returning from a late night rendezvous with a hidden lover. Such a thought was anything from the truth, no it was not any quite so scandalous but something very sensitive. An out of town doctor's appointment.
No longer the youthful, twenty something captain of the royal guard turned prince, no those day were long gone. So very long gone.
Now Shining Armor was aging, forty years can do that to a pony. Forty years sitting on the thrown beside his darling queen, judging, protecting and ruling his subjects the Chrystal Ponies. Now if you were to compare his younger self with the noble king that stood in the entry to the castle you could tell the toll those years had taken on him.
His mane had shifted from it's once vibrant cobalt to a dull graying blue. His eyes too reflected that change, they seemed to have lost the luster they once held. The fur around his mouth had grown out into a bit of a mustache and it was very apparent he was not nearly as fit as he once was. At least these were the thoughts that ran through his head as he stared at the twin portraits that were commissioned the year they started ruling.
"No, I'm not the pony I once was," Shining said to himself in a sorrowful voice. His eyes lazily drifted to his own image to the twin painting of Cadence. "She on the other hoof."
A little brass placard on the frame read, 'Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.' But of course it hadn't stayed 'Princess' for very long. Cadence's mane was done up in the traditional style, Shining remembered how much she hated having the hair dresser fuss over her to get it just right, that had been a happy day. "You my queen, you haven't changed one bit."
It was a blessing he supposed, immortality. Forever young, getting to protect your kingdom for all eternity. Watching your husband decay into a feeble shell of what he once was. 'No, you mustn't think like that Shining.' And indeed he didn't really feel that way, it wasn't her fault that she was giving that gift and it meant she would still be here long after he was gone.
"After I'm gone..." Shining Armour let out a heavy sigh and let his gaze turn to the medical charts he had traveled home with. A sour taste seemed to fill his mouth and his stomach churned like the sea, "It has to be done, for her sake."
Slowly and ponderously the king traversed the long halls of his castle, up the the spiral stairs that seemed to go on forever and to the top floor where the chambers were. Along the way Shining didn't see anypony, not that it was a surprise, their rule had been peaceful and dissenters were a rarity these days, it was deemed unnecessary to have a twenty four hour watch these days. The final hallway was barren except for one, a tired looking guardsmen propping himself upright with his spear.
Not that Shining minded his diligence, he still thought he ought to say something. "How goes the watch soldier?"
"My lord," he dropped to one knee in a sign of deference. "All is quiet tonight."
"At ease," said Shining, those age old military commands slipped off his tongue just as easily as they did so long ago. "Why are you up so late if it's quiet?"
The guardsmen rose to his previous position and met his king's eyes, "Insomnia sir, it hits me hard sometimes so I volunteered for the night watch."
Shining knew well that feeling, "Try and get some rest once you’re off duty then."
"Permission to ask a question sir." stated the guard.
"Granted." said Shining.
"What keeps my lord up so late tonight? The queen was asking of your whereabouts but nopony had an answer for her." The guard seemed genuinely concerned.
'Well I suppose I can trust my own men with this, I trust them with my life after all.' Shining let out a drawn out sigh, like all the air in a balloon was slowly leaking out. "I've been to the doctors."
The guard was about to respond with, 'But sire we checked all the practitioners in the empire but we could not find you.' But he continued, "None here in the empire, I didn't want the Chrystal ponies to worry."
"Sir?"
"I'm dying guardsman, one of those blasted wasting illnesses. Don't know how long I have." But in reality Shining knew, and that's what scared him the most.
"My lord! This is terrible news! Does the queen know of your condition?" Agony perforated the middle aged guard’s voice.
"No, Cadence doesn't know anything and that's how it's going to stay." His voice was firm.
The guard felt like a broken record, but it bared repeating. "Sir?"
"Cadence will not be informed of my condition under any circumstances, that is an order. I do not wish to worry her over a sick old pony like me." said Shining. The guard bit his tongue, silently disagreeing with the order.
"But sir will the queen not become aware of your condition as it worsens?" asked the guard.
Shining Armour's eyes seemed to be staring off into a place somewhere else, "You know this isn't how I pictured my exit. I always thought it would be on the battlefield, protecting Equestria from the oncoming hordes. Being eaten alive by this ... sickness is no way for a soldier to go."
"To answer your question, Cadence won’t find out because I'm going to leave her."
"My lord why would you-" Shining cut him off.
"It's for her sake, I couldn't bear to see her saddened by a wretch like me. I'll wander off into the ice drifts and be out of her life, I may even plant a story in the papers about a midnight liaison. If she comes to resent me then she won’t mourn my passing." the aged king started walking away as if their conversation was over.
The guard would not allow this, firmly he lowered his spear to block the path. "My lord I cannot allow you to this foolhardy thing."
Shining didn't feel threatened in the slightest, but he decided to humor the nameless guard. "And why is that?"
"Do you honestly think Cadence would be unaffected by your leaving? Think of how strong her devotion is for you, how on the day of your wedding she braved the depths of the caverns below Canterlot to save you from Chrysalis. And how your love for each other repelled those invaders." Shining knew well what he described, that awful feeling caused by the brainwashing and the vague images of the terrible things the changeling queen did to him whilst under her control.
In the end none of his guards, his sister or even Celestia could help, it was only Cadence. Shining felt a prying question at the rear of his mind, it was blurry and out of focus but it was there none the less. The guard continued on, "And what of the day you ventured into this forgotten empire? Those endless days questioning the long dormant Chrystal ponies and protecting the city from Sombra with your barriers. Think of how much you both relied on each other during that crisis."
Now the question was clearer and Shining could understand it fully, 'How do you know these things?'
"What about during Tirek’s invasion of Equestria, when all the princesses save for the Princess Twilight were banished to Tartarus. What was it Cadence said when she saw you next?" the guard's gaze was steady on.
The king remembered his wife's words well, 'Shining my love, are you alright? I know you got your magic back but are you fine otherwise?' She didn't have a word of complaint about being sent to that hellish place against her will, not a sentiment of disappointment that Shining Armour could not defend her from that brute. She only had room for her undying love and concern over him.
"If you did this terrible thing my lord, the queen would no doubt have double the things to mourn. Her lost love and her marriage of these forty years." Shining's eyes were filling with tears, it was all true what this guard was saying. Had he really been so foolish as to think his course of action would be a good thing? Though the 'liquid pride' as he was fond of calling it, he began observing the guards appearance and the question came back with an answer.
"I, I know your face. You were under my command when I was captain of the guard in Canterlot. It plagues me to say this, but I have forgotten your name." He was placing a hoof to his forehead in desperation.
"It is not an issue my lord, I often take the backstage during events. But you are correct, I had just joined the royal guards a few weeks before your wedding. And I was one of the ones who volunteered to follow you to the empire." On a second look the still nameless guard had the look a veteran guard, perhaps five or so years younger than Shining.
The king was still uncomfortable and let it be known with a cough. "Oh, sorry. My name is Flash Sentry sir." Flash was dressed in the standard issue uniform, hoof guards, armored breast plate and a helmet which pushes one's mane into a bit of a mohawk. He had a solid blue mane, which just like his king's was becoming a duller color than in youth.
Shining Armor now pulled him aside as if to create more privacy than they already had. "I've given up on this wretched plan I had hatched in my brain. But what am I to do?"
Flash placed a brotherly hoof around his onetime commander and now commander in chief. "If you truly are as close to the end of your silver chord as you think, then spend what time you have left where it matters. By the side of the mare you love, and the mare who loves you. I do not doubt that such thoughts of mortality and its consequences have occupied her mind as well."
The king's face softened, as if a burden had been lifted from off of his shoulders. Of course she had thought of his mortality, it had been one of the subjects raised when he had proposed. He remembered saying, 'Well yeah Cadence, I guess I'll die someday. But that's something that won't happen for a long time. It's till death do us part, right?'
'Long time away? How does six months sound you little whelp.' Shining thought loudly, cursing his younger self. But he couldn't stay mad long, after all, he dared not ponder what his life would be without Cadence. Before entering his wife's chambers and taking Flash's advice he had a question. "Do you have a family Flash?"
"Yes sir, a wife, a son and two daughters. I married a crystal mare a few years after moving to the empire." he voice was filled with affection just mentioning them.
"This is an order soldier, go home and spend some time with them. And thank Celestia every day you don't go to the doctor's and come back with one of these." The king was waving around his terminal diagnosis. "Speaking of, burn this for me will you? I still don't want Cadence worrying about me just yet. I'd like to give her some happy memories to look back on... once I'm gone."
Flash thanked the king for his order and Shining departed, Flash's ears were assaulted with gleeful shrieks coming from the queen upon seeing her aged lover returning. On his way out of the castle Flash Sentry paused by the fireplace with report in hoof, tempted to peek inside and see just what ill tidings it held. But he resisted and obeyed the order of the king, feeding the red coals before flying off to his own home.
As the flames licked the edges of the manila folder and engulfed the papers within, one by one words were lit up and evaporated into char. 'From the desk of Dr. -' turned yellow then brown and finally black. 'We regret to inform-', 'Malignant-' and 'Inoperable-' all turned to ashes and danced up the chimney and away into the young night.
Author's Note
A bit of a downer story but I've had to deal with several friends, family members and acquaintances dying to cancer and other illnesses. This is how I wanted to work through some of my feelings.
To any of my readers chomping at the bit for my Batman story sequel, don't worry it's on it's way. I'm already working of story ideas and I think I have a good way to start it off. One setback to my writing is i'm currently working 6 days a week with not allot of free time, so I can only write at nighttime when I'm already tired. But it is coming so don't give up.
