An Inkling Of Friendship

by Green Akers

Rating: everyone
Tags: Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character, Comedy, Adventure, Crossover
Length: 37802

Tired of constant conflict with the Octarians over a shrinking continent, the Inklings go searching for a new land to colonize. They find Equestria instead.

Thousands of years after the seas rose up (literally) and destroyed civilization as we know it, a pair of evolved sea species, the Inklings and the Octarians, found themselves locked in conflict over a land mass that was rapidly shrinking.

Facing the prospect of a never-ending stalemate, the Inkling High Council authorized "Operation Expansion," a covert military program in which small teams of Inklings were deployed across the world to look for other lands that the Inklings could claim as their own.

One such team, led by their intrepid splatoon leader Danielle, struck gold in the form of a large island perfect for colonization. Upon investigation, however, the team discovered that the land was inhabited by a group of four-legged creatures with some crazy ideas about friendship...

(Splatoon x MLP crossover.)

Published 2015-07-31 23:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-09-03 02:18:30 UTC

Hairless Bears?

"Rainbow Dash!!!"

Rainbow Dash slowly raised her head up from the cloud she had been sleeping on, and looked over at the gray stallion that was racing towards her. "You'd better have a good reason for disturbing my nap, Thunderlane," she grumbled. "What are you doing here, anyway? Weren't you going to visit your cousin in Los Pegasus today?"

"That's just it!" Thunderlane explained. "I was flying over the Whitetail Woods, minding my own business, when suddenly, whoosh!" Thunderlane swung a front hoof to simulate the action. "This thing comes out of the sky and whizzes by my head at a zillion miles an hour!"

"So?" Rainbow replied uncaringly. "As slow as you fly, everything goes by you at a zillion miles an hour."

"I'm serious, Rainbow!" Thunderlane insisted. "Anyway, I watch this thing fall into the forest, and then boom!" Thunderlane pounded his hooves together. "A huge explosion flings me about five hundred hooves through the air!"

"An explosion?" Rainbow rubbed the sleep from her eyes. "Was anypony hurt?"

"I don't know," Thunderlane admitted. "I was lucky—a big mudhole broke my fall. But that's not the strangest part! When I finally got back in the air and took a look around, I didn't see any ponies or animals, but the place where the thingy hit was completely covered in this weird orange gooey stuff!"

"Orange goo?" Rainbow arched at eyebrow at Thunderlane. "And you're sure this happened, and you didn't just hit your head and imagine it?"

"Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!" Thunderlane swore.

Rainbow Dash sighed, stood up, and stretched. "All right, Thunderlane. Tell me where this happened, and I'll go grab Twilight and take a look."

"It's due southwest of here!" Thunderlane said. "Believe me, you can't miss it—it carved a fifty-hoof circle out of the forest!"

"Got it." Rainbow bid Thunderlane farewell, leaped off of her cloud, and made a beeline for Twilight's castle. "I swear, if Discord is going around dropping orange goo bombs on ponies, I will coat him in cement and turn him back into a statue the hard way," she muttered.

Rainbow was at Twilight's front door within minutes, and weaved her way through the palace until she found Twilight and Spike poring over a set of old-looking scrolls. "Hey, Twilight, got a minute?" she asked.

"Sure, Rainbow!" Twilight put her quill down. "What is it?"

"Thunderlane says there was a big gooey explosion over in the Whitetail Woods," Rainbow explained. "It sounded like some sort of magic was involved, so I—"

"An explosion?" Twilight's eyes widened. "That sounds—wait, did you say gooey?"

"Unfortunately, yes," Rainbow said. "I don't know if Discord is doing something weird or what, but would you mind going down there with me to see what happened?"

"Of course!" Twilight floated the reminder of her scrolls up onto a shelf with her magic. "Spike, grab some parchment and an extra quill—we're heading to the Whitetail Woods!"

"You got it!" Spike grabbed the requested supplies and hopped on Twilight's back, and the trio took a shortcut out of the castle via an open window and began their flight to the forest.

Reaching the woods was a brief half-hour via the air, but locating the sight of the explosion was harder than expected. "I don't see any orange goo around here," Rainbow said as she scanned the area. "Everything looks pretty green to me. That idiot Thunderlane must have been—"

"What about that opening over there?" Spike pointed to a small circular clearing off to the group's left. "I don't remember there being an opening there when Pinkie and I called the last Running of the Leaves."

Rainbow eyed the area suspiciously. "Now that you mention it, neither do I. We'd better check it out."

The trio swooped down and landed in the center of the clearing. "Holy cloud!" Spike exclaimed as he hopped down and surveyed the downed trees, broken branches, and flattened bushes. "It looks like a tornado came through here!"

"But a tornado would have cut a path through the forest, not just leave a little thing like this," Rainbow countered. "Besides, we haven't had a storm scheduled here for two weeks. The conditions just aren't right for tornadoes!"

"Look at this." Twilight gestured to the flattened shrubbery around them. "All the grass is bent towards the outside of the clearing. This means that something gave off a strong force in all directions from where we're standing, which is consistent with Thunderlane's story."

"Maybe, but I still don't see any orange goo around here," Rainbow replied.

"I wonder..." Twilight scratched her chin for a moment, and then reached down and lifted some of the flattened grass with her hoof, revealing some small traces of orange ink on the ground. "Aha!" she declared. "There was orange goo here, but either it was cleaned up, or just disappeared."

"Whoa!" Spike's eyes widened as he watched the ink puddles shrink and vanish. "I guess that answers that question."

"Let me see that extra quill for a second." Twilight took the quill from Spike, lifted up another clump of grass with her hoof, and stuck the tip of the quill into the revealed ink. "It looks like some sort of... Well, ink, I guess," she said as she examined the quill.

"Maybe it's disappearing ink," Spike suggested. "You know, like the stuff Pinkie always uses."

Twilight sighed. "Whatever it is, it won't last long enough for me to do a proper analysis of it." She turned to Rainbow Dash. "Well, we know the what and the how," she said. "The next question is, who would drop an ink bomb in the middle of the forest?"

"I have no idea," Rainbow Dash admitted, "but I'll bet we know somepony that does."

"Right," Twilight agreed. "Fluttershy knows everything about every creature in this forest. Maybe she can shed some light on this mystery."

Spike hopped back up on Twilight, and the trio set off for Fluttershy's cottage, hoping the yellow mare could answer their questions.

After another two hours of following railroad tracks, fatigue was beginning to take its toll on the Inklings. Tommy was a stiff breeze away from falling over, Craig was rolling at half his usual speed, and even Danielle was starting to wear out. "Maybe... We should... Take a quick breather," Danielle wheezed.

"We just took a break fifteen minutes ago!" Brianna, who hadn't even broken a sweat yet, folded her arms and gazed disappointingly at her colleagues. "Lightweights, the whole lot of you. No wonder I'm always covering your butt in Turf Wars."

"Hey, I am fully capable of covering my own—wait!" Danielle held up her hand to signal for the others to stop. "We're coming to the edge of the forest."

The four Inklings scurried over to a clump of trees positioned at the very edge of the forest. "Oh wow!" Tommy exclaimed. "Look at that!"

The Inklings gazed in awe at the sight of a large wooden building with a straw roof and a huge porch-like platform that bordered the tracks. The platform was packed with an assortment of four-legged creatures with long faces and large eyes, with each creature sporting a unique coat color and hair style. "What are those things?" Danielle asked.

"I don't know, but they're the weirdest looking things I've ever seen," Brianna commented.

Tommy picked up his rifle and used his scope to examine the creatures more closely. "Incredible!" he gushed. "From what I can see, there are three distinct varieties of these creatures: Some have four leg-like tentacles plus some sort of tail, some appear to have an extra tentacle on their foreheads, and some even—whoa!" His jaw dropped as he watched one of the creatures fly up into the air. "Some even have wings like a bird!"

"Hey, little dude. What's the good word?" Danielle, Brianna, and Tommy turned to see Craig talking to a blue bird that had landed on his headphones.

"Speaking of birdbrains..." Brianna walked over to Craig and waved her hands in front of his face. "Hey, Craig! Get your head in the game!"

"Shhh." Craig brought a finger to his lips. "I'm trying to feel this cat's vibe."

"It's a bird, not a cat." Brianna smacked her face with her hand, and then pointed at a nearby tree in which twenty other birds had gathered. "And where did all those come from? Are you feeding the stupid things?"

"Hey, if he's giving them the seaweed jerky, I'm totally okay with—" Danielle was interrupted by the sound of an approaching train. "Quick, everybody hide!"

The Inklings retreated deeper into the forest, and watched closely as the train sped by them and pulled up at the station. "Well, I guess we know who uses these tracks now, huh?" Danielle said.

"This is fascinating!" Tommy said as he watched the creatures board the train. "They all seem to have suitcases similar to the kind we use, but they don't seem to be able to carry them with their tentacles. Some are using their mouths, some are using their wings, and—what, was is that?" He lowered his gun, wiped his glasses, rubbed his eyes, and looked again. "Some of the cases appear to be... Floating in mid-air?" He stared for a moment in disbelief. "Do they have hovering technology built into their luggage?"

"I'm more interested in how they built that train," Danielle replied. "How do you put that together when you're using all your legs just to stand?"

Brianna rolled her eyes. "They don't look so tough," she declared. "I bet we could just walk in and take over right now."

"But there are, like, fifty of them on that train alone," Danielle pointed out. "They've got this place pretty well inhabited, if you ask me. We need to learn more about these things before we can think about moving in."

"I agree," Tommy said. "I mean, look at all those buildings!" He pointed to a cluster of houses a short distance from the train station. "This is arguably the most advanced society Inklings have ever come into contact with! We could be on the verge of a huge scientific breakthrough!"

"We're also on the verge of getting chewed out by Sergeant Sour-dine," Brianna grumbled. "We're here for real estate, not science!"

"We'll get to that," Danielle assured her friend. "Right now, we need to figure out the best plan of attack." She pointed to where the forest continued just north of the station. "Let's keep following the treeline, and see what else we can see."

Brianna sighed as the others grabbed their gear and began moving north. "Fine. But I still think we could beat these things right now."

"Hey Fluttershy, are you there?" Rainbow Dash asked as she knocked on the yellow mare's door. "We need to talk to you."

The door opened, but it was Angel Bunny standing behind it instead of Fluttershy. The bunny gazed unsmilingly at the trio, and pointed a paw over his shoulder to indicate Fluttershy was inside. "Uh... Thanks, Angel," Rainbow said as she stepped inside.

"Oh, Rainbow! Thank goodness you're here!" Fluttershy called out from the kitchen. "Could you give me a hoof with something?"

The two ponies and dragon walked into Fluttershy's kitchen, finding her scouring her cupboards and throwing every sort of food imaginable into two large picnic baskets sitting on the table. "Actually, we need a hoof from you," Twilight said. "We just saw something strange in the woods, and were wondering if you could help us figure out who is responsible."

"Something blasted a big hole in the forest!" Spike explained. "And they did it with this strange orange inky stuff!"

"Orange ink?" Fluttershy gave her friends a confused look.

"Yes, or something similar," Twilight said. "Do you know of any creatures who can use a substance like that?"

"Well..." Fluttershy pondered the question for a moment. "I don't. I'm sorry."

Rainbow arched an eyebrow at the picnic baskets. "What are these for?" she asked.

"Oh, I was making these as a welcome gift to the hairless bears that just arrived!" Fluttershy replied.

Rainbow Dash and Twilight exchanged confused glances. "Hairless bears?" Twilight repeated.

Fluttershy nodded, and pointed to a bird house mounted on the ceiling. "Miss Jay just told me that she saw a group of hairless bears in the forest coming towards Ponyville, and since nopony has ever seen them before, I thought they must be new here, and I wanted to make them a picnic basket to welcome them to Ponyville!"

"You're making a welcome basket for a bunch of bears?" Rainbow rolled her eyes. "You've been hanging out with Pinkie Pie too long."

"Hold on a minute, Rainbow," Twilight interrupted. "Fluttershy, these hairless bears Miss Jay talked about—did she mention anything else strange about them? Like, were they orange?"

Before Fluttershy could respond, a large blue jay popped out of the birdhouse above the ponies and began squawking at Twilight. Twilight didn't understand a word the bird said, of course, but Fluttershy was able to translate. "Miss Jay says that the tops of their heads were orange, and they wore large orange backpacks!"

Rainbow gave Twilight a knowing nod. "I think we've found who we're looking for."

"We'd better track them down before they cause any trouble in town," Twilight said. "Miss Jay, do you have any idea where these creatures are now?"

Miss Jay responded with a brief song. "She says they were heading north, towards Sweet Apple Acres," Fluttershy said.

"Oh boy." Rainbow smacked her face with her hoof. "We're better get over there fast. Applejack will blow a fuse if anypony messes with her trees."

"Wait!" Fluttershy reached back into her cupboard for one last armful of goodies, and dumped them into the baskets. "Could you help me carry these over to the orchard? After all, those bears might be hungry, and feeding guests is the friendly thing to do."

"You better do it, Twi," Rainbow suggested. "I haven't decided if I want to be friendly to these things or not."

"Fine, but you have to carry Spike." Twilight took one of the basket handles in her mouth, and the foursome headed for the door and Sweet Apple Acres, all the while not entirely sure what they would find.

Spoils Of War

"There!" Apple Bloom tied the last knot in her snare trap and stepped back to admire her work. "That ought to do the trick!"

Scootaloo looked down at the large rope loop that Apple Bloom had placed on the ground. "Are you sure the trap needs to be that big?" she asked. "I mean, we're not trying to catch a dragon."

"We might be!" Apple Bloom replied. "Somethin's been stealin' apples from this corner of the farm for a week now, and we're gonna get to the bottom of this mystery if it kills us!"

Sweetie Belle gulped. "I'd really prefer that it not kill us."

"Don't worry," Apple Bloom assured her friends. "I used the rope Big Mac uses to haul the plow around. If he can't break it, nothin' can!"

"That's true," Scootaloo conceded. "Hey, maybe if we catch this thing, we'll earn our trapping cutie marks!"

"Yeah!" Sweetie Belle agreed. "We can be professional creature catchers after all!"

"Cutie Mark Crusader Apple Napper Trappers! Yay!" The three fillies sang as they exchanged a high-hoof.

Suddenly, a rustling could be heard in the bushes. "That's probably the creature right now!" Apple Bloom said. "Quick, everypony hide!"

The three fillies dove into a nearby bush, and waited for their prey to spring their trap.

"Okay, that's it!" Tommy collapsed onto the ground. "My feet are officially on strike! Either we start spreading some ink, or I'm not moving from this spot."

"We're too close to the enemy to use ink," Brianna replied. "It'll give away our position."

"Then I say we all join Tommy's feet on the picket line," Danielle said as she sat down. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm hungry enough to eat that seaweed jerky now. Craig, could you—" She stopped as she watched Craig bite into a red, circular fruit he was holding. "What is that?"

"I dunno, dude," Craig admitted. "I plucked it off a tree we passed."

"You idiot! You don't just pick things off of trees and eat them!" Brianna scolded Craig. "It might be poisonous!" She paused for a moment as she considered the implications of her statement. "On second thought, go ahead and eat it. In fact, do me a favor and share that with Tommy."

Craig shrugged. "It tastes kind of like an apple to me."

"That's not an apple," Danielle insisted. "Apples are green, and tiny, and sour."

"You left out 'gross beyond belief,'" Brianna added, scrunching up her face.

Tommy jumped back to his feet and examined the fruit in Craig's hand. "Well, its core structure and seed count are consistent with an apple," he observed, "but I guess I'd have to see the tree it came from to know for sure."

"No problem, bro." Craig started walking towards the forest's edge. "Follow me."

Craig led the others out of the forest and onto a large, rolling field that was lined with rows and rows of trees, each boasting a bonanza of mysterious red fruit. "Wow!" Danielle exclaimed. "We must have stumbled upon a farm of some sort."

Brianna sniffed the air and gagged. "Oh yeah, definitely a farm."

Tommy started walking alongside a row of trees, staring intensely at each one as he passed. "Hmmm... Broad trunks... Thick, wide-spread canopies... Alternating leaves with jagged edges..." He turned back to the others and shrugged. "I don't know, guys. These trees look pretty apple-like to me."

"There's one last test we need to run." Danielle turned to Craig. "How do you feel right now? Dizzy? Nauseous? Feverish?"

"Honestly, I'm kind of bummed out," Craig admitted. "My music player ran out of juice a while ago, and I left my spare batteries back at the boat."

Danielle smacked her forehead with her hand. "That's not what I meant."

Danielle's stomach suddenly growled loudly, and she sighed. "To heck with it. These things won't kill us any quicker than that jerky will. Seriously, have you seen how they make that stuff?" Danielle reached up and plucked another fruit from a nearby tree, took a deep breath, and took a bite. "Whoa!" she exclaimed. "Bree, you gotta try one of these! This is really good!"

"Really?" Brianna reached up and grabbed a fruit for herself. Her eyes popped wide open the moment the fruit hit her tongue. "This can't be an apple!" she insisted. "This tastes awesome!"

Brianna devoured the fruit in about thirty seconds, and then started grabbing more fruit off of the tree and stuffing it into the pockets of her hoodie. "Hey, don't get too greedy," Danielle warned. "After all, this stuff belongs to someone else."

"Meh. Spoils of war," Brianna said in between bites.

"Yahhh!!" Suddenly, Tommy could be heard screaming over in the next row. "Help! Somebody help me!"

The other Inklings rushed over to the next row of trees, their weapons drawn and ready for whatever they might encounter. What they found, however, was Tommy dangling upside down from a tree, a rope around his ankle, surrounded by three small creatures similar to those they had seen at the train station. The yellow one of the three creatures was yelling at Tommy and pointing at him with its leg, while the others, one with a white coat and the other with an orange one, appeared to be dancing around him.

Danielle couldn't help but chuckle at the scene, and she turned to Brianna. "Are you getting flashbacks to the time when we—"

"We set a trap for 'Slendersquid' and caught your dad instead?" Brianna smirked. "I am now."

"Don't just stand there!" Tommy pleaded. "Help me!"

"Get a hold of yourself!" Brianna replied. "Just transform and you'll slide right out of that thing!"

"Oh. Right." Suddenly, Tommy began morphing into a small, bright-orange squid, causing the orange and white creatures to stop dancing and take a few steps away from him. The yellow one, in contrast, just kept on yelling as Tommy slid out of the trap and flopped onto the ground.

"Any idea what that thing is saying?" Danielle asked.

"Not conclusively," Tommy said as he transformed back into his humanoid form and plugged his ears, "but given the circumstances, I'm guessing she's mad about the fruit we took." He turned the pockets of his pants and sweatshirt inside-out, and held up his hands. "See? I don't have anything!"

The yellow creature scowled at Tommy for a moment, and then turned to face the other Inklings. She immediately started pointing and yelling again, this time at Brianna. "What are you yelling at me for?" Brianna demanded, pointing at Danielle and Craig. "They're eating your stupid food too!"

"Yeah, but we don't have a bunch of fruit stuffed in our pockets," Danielle pointed out.

"Hmph." Brianna glared at Danielle, and then back down at the yellow creature. "Fine. You win," she spat pointedly, digging into her pockets and dumping her fruity spoils onto the ground. "Are you happy now?"

Suddenly, the sound of a rifle firing echoed through the orchard, and a blast of orange ink flew over the yellow creature and struck Brianna square in the face, sending her sprawling to the ground. She popped back up almost immediately, sputtering mad. "Whoever did that is toast!" she raged.

The inky trail of the blast led back to the orange creature, who stood over Tommy's rifle with a sheepish look on its face. "Don't play with that!" Tommy said as he snatched the gun away.

"Why you little shrimp!" Brianna lunged at the orange creature, and it took all three of the other Inklings to hold her back. "I'm gonna splat you so hard, your unborn children are gonna feel it!"

Despite the language barrier, the three creatures got the gist of Brianna's message, and they quickly turned and ran screaming from the area, leaving the Inklings to deal with Brianna's rage. "Let it go, Bree!" Danielle pleaded. "It was an accident!"

"Let me go!" Brianna demanded. "If they get away, they'll blow our cover!"

"We're fine," Danielle tried to explain. "I mean, how old could they have been, eight? Ten? The others won't believe them about us any more than Dad believed us about Slendersquid. They run away, we hide, the ink dries up, and nobody knows we were ever here."

"Fine." Brianna yanked her arm free from Danielle, and started picking her fallen fruit back up off the ground. "But I'm taking these for my pain and suffering!"

"You had to play with their stuff, didn't you?" Apple Bloom shouted at Scootaloo as the Crusaders dashed across the orchard.

"Hey, I wasn't the one calling them thieves!" Scootaloo shot back.

After running halfway across the north fields, the Crusaders spotted Applejack coming towards them with Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, and Fluttershy in tow. "Land sakes, girls!" Applejack exclaimed as the Crusaders approached. "Where are y'all goin' in such an all-fired hurry?"

"We found the rascals who were stealin' our apples!" Apple Bloom replied. "But Scootaloo had to go and make 'em mad!"

"It was an accident!" Scootaloo insisted. "The thing we caught dropped something, and I wanted to see what it was, but then it shot this orange stuff onto—"

"Orange?" Twilight and Rainbow exchanged looks of concern. "Where did you see these creatures?" Twilight asked.

"It was just over the hill a ways, near the edge of the north fields," Apple Bloom explained.

"Come on, girls!" Rainbow Dash said as she leaped into the air. "If we hurry, we can catch them while they're still in the orchard!"

The ponies raced over to where the Crusaders' encounter had occurred, but by the time they arrived, the only evidence that remained was a rope, a trail of ink from Scootaloo's shot, and a few discarded apple cores. "It's them all right," Twilight confirmed as she examined the ink. "This is the same substance we found in the Whitetail Woods."

Rainbow grimaced as she looked down at the ink. "All right girls, spread out!" she ordered. "These hairless bear things couldn't have gotten far, and we need to find them before they cause any more trouble. Twilight, you and I will search the orchards from the air. Applejack and Fluttershy, you two case the forest from the ground."

"What about us?" Apple Bloom demanded. "What do we get to do?"

"You want to chase these things?" Sweetie Belle asked. "I was going to say we should find a safer cutie mark to get."

"I've got an idea!" Scootaloo interrupted. "We were running pretty fast to get away from those things. I'll bet we could get a cutie mark in sprinting!"

"We were goin' fast, weren't we?" Apple Bloom said. "Why, we could be the fastest fillies in all of Equestria!"

"Why, uh, that's a swell idea!" Applejack agreed. "You should start by seein' how fast you can run back to the house."

"Cutie Mark Crusader Rapid Racers! Yay!" the Crusaders shouted as they turned and made a beeline for the farmhouse.

"Phew!" Applejack wiped some nervous sweat from her brow. "I'm glad to see them go! These bear things you were tellin' me about could be dangerous, and I don't want those three to get hurt."

"I'm sure those bears didn't mean to scare them," Fluttershy said. "In fact, the girls probably scared the bears, what with them being in a strange place so far from home."

"I guess we'll find out." Twilight jumped up to join Rainbow Dash in the air. "We'll meet back here in an hour, but give a yell if you find anything before then."

"Right!" With that, the ponies paired off and and began searching for any signs of their surprise guests.

After retreating into the forest, the Inklings tried to regroup and determine their next move. "All right gang, I think we've seen enough for now," Danielle declared. "We should head back to the boat, and—"

"No way!" Brianna objected. "The minute someone decides to believe those kids, we lose the element of surprise. We should move in right now, and claim this territory for Inklingkind!"

"We can't engage them now!" Tommy objected. "We should lay low for a while, let whatever concerns those kids raise dissipate, and continue gathering data from a safe distance."

Brianna glared at Tommy. "Look, Dr. Do-Very-Little," she snarled, "do you want Sarge to read us the riot act again? Our objective is—"

"I know what our objective is!" Tommy snapped back, his suddenly-sharp tone taking Brianna by surprise. "But this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to observe an advanced species in its untouched habitat, and once we make contact with them, we lose that opportunity forever!"

"You coward!" Brianna jabbed her finger in Tommy's chest. "You're just afraid!"

"And you're just delusional!" Tommy countered. "Taking on several hundred mysterious creatures with a four-squid team is a suicide mission!"

"Relax, dudes." Craig threw one arm around Brianna and the other around Tommy. "Life's too short to—"

"Stay out of this!" Brianna and Tommy shouted in unison.

"Bree, Tommy, focus!" Danielle pleaded. "Those things'll hear you if you keep yelling!" The others ignored her, however, and eventually she ran out of patience. "Fine!" she said, throwing up her hands and walking away. "Stay here if you want. I'm out of here."

Danielle stomped off aimlessly into the forest, unsure of where she was going but too frustrated to actually care. She walked until the bickering of her teammates stopped ringing in her ears, at which point she stopped and rested against a tree while she thought about her next move. While both Brianna and Tommy wanted to hang around (albeit for different reasons), it just wasn't feasible without more supplies, and the creatures would eventually get suspicious if the Inklings kept mooching off of their farm. She considered just ditching her team and making a run for the coast, but she couldn't just abandon Brianna and the others like that, and besides, it wasn't like there was a kettle of fish and a working boat waiting for her. "Come on Danielle, think!" she demanded, banging her head against the tree. "What would a real leader do?"

The sound of nearby voices snapped Danielle back to her senses, and she dove behind the tree and peered out to see who was ambushing her. She spotted two four-legged creatures passing by less than twenty feet from her position, and while they were yellow and orange like the tiny creatures she had seen earlier, these two were full-size, and one even sported a special piece of headgear. Not the freshest hat I've ever seen, Danielle thought to herself.

The creatures stopped and looked around for a moment, but didn't seem to notice the Inkling nearby. Suddenly, however, a particularly-loud scream from Brianna echoed through the forest, causing the creatures to stop and look in the direction of Danielle's team.

"Darn it, Bree!" Danielle muttered under her breath. Running into a couple of small kids could be laughed off, but if these larger creatures bumped into her team, then there was going to be a confrontation, and things would go downhill in a hurry. She had to do something, and fast.

"Hey!" Danielle shouted as she stepped out from behind the tree and pointed her weapon at the creatures. "Stop right there!"

The creatures stopped and turned towards Danielle, and the two sides stared awkwardly at each other for a moment. Well, at least they listened, Danielle thought. Now what do I do?

You Speak Inklish?

Danielle's mind raced as she held the two creatures before her at gunpoint. She thought about calling to the rest of her team for help, but they were probably too busy arguing to hear her, and besides, what if these two were only the tip of the iceberg? What if there were others walking around the woods looking for her team right now? She took a deep breath and decided she could handle these two by herself, and keep the existence of her team a mystery.

As Danielle pondered her predicament, the orange creature she was holding hostage began to speak, but the yellow creature cut it off with a raised leg. "Shhhh," the yellow creature whispered. "Hold still. She's very nervous right now, and we don't want to scare her." The yellow creature took a small step forward. "Please, don't be afraid," it said to Danielle. "We're not going to hurt you."

"What the..." Danielle nearly dropped her gun in surprise, and she gave the yellow creature a bewildered look. "You... You speak Inklish?"

"In a way, yes," the yellow creature replied. "You see, I have a special gift that lets me communicate with all sorts of different animals." The creature took another step forward. "My name's Fluttershy, and this is my friend Applejack. What's your name?"

Danielle's expression hardened. "Danielle, Plankton, Serial Number FF27-AJ10," she stated.

Fluttershy nodded. "Danielle Plankton Cereal Number—"

"No, it's just Danielle," Danielle clarified.

"Oh. I'm sorry," Fluttershy said. "Anyway, on behalf of all the ponies in Ponyville, we'd like to welcome you and your friends to our town. I had some—"

"Friends?" Danielle's eye started to twitch. "What friends? I don't have any friends! Nope, there are noooooooo other Inklings around here!"

Suddenly, a bird started squawking in the trees above Danielle. "Miss Sparrowbeak says that four of you just passed by five minutes ago," Fluttershy translated.

Danielle cast an irritated glance skyward. "Well, she must've been seeing things. Trust me, I'm the only Inkling around."

On cue, a small furry creature popped out of the bushes and rushed towards Fluttershy with its front paws over its ears. Fluttershy listened to the creature voice its grievances for a few moments, and then turned back to Danielle. "Mr. Fuzzy Tail says your friends are shouting at each other and making a lot of noise. Is something wrong?"

Jeez, is everything in this stupid forest against me? Danielle threw up her hands and sighed. "Fine, you got me. Yes, there are four of us, and no, I can't get them to be quiet. In fact, I can't get them to do much of anything right now. Believe me, I tried."

"Gosh, this sounds serious." Fluttershy reached over and patted Mr. Fuzzy Tail on the head. "Don't worry. We'll go and see if we can help."

"What?!" Danielle's heart skipped a beat as she imagined Fluttershy coming face-to-face with an irate Brianna. "No, no, no! Bad idea!" she said as she raced over to cut Fluttershy off. "When Bree gets mad, she really gets mad. The best thing to do is to wait until she calms down, and---"

"But they're disturbing the forest creatures." Fluttershy walked around Danielle and kept moving towards the shouting. "Don't worry, we've got lots of experience with resolving disagreements. Come on, Applejack."

"But... But..." Danielle smacked her face with her hand as the two ponies walked away, and she knew she had to intervene before something bad happened. Using her weapon, she blazed a trail of orange ink and swam her way past the ponies and back over to her feuding teammates. She found Brianna and Tommy now taking swings at each other as Craig held them both at arm's length, meaning that the only thing they were hitting was him. "They're still fighting?" Danielle asked.

Craig nodded. "It's kind of a buzzkill."

Danielle grabbed Brianna by the shoulders. "Get a hold of yourself, Bree! The ponies are on their way here right now!"

"What? What do you mean, they're coming?" Brianna stopped swinging at Tommy and grabbed for the gun at her waist. "Son of a squid, we've got to take cover!"

"It's no use!" Danielle explained. "One of them can talk to all the animals. The birds will rat us out!"

"Wait, really?" Tommy suddenly snapped out of his foul mood. "You mean these things can actually communicate with animals?"

"Well, one of them, at least," Danielle confirmed. "And apparently 'animals' includes us."

"Amazing!" Tommy gushed. "This species may be more advanced than I thought! And without a language barrier, we can—"

Tommy made the mistake of stepping within Brianna's reach as he spoke, and Brianna responded by grabbing Tommy by the shirt and flinging him into a nearby bush. "That's for irritating me," Brianna grumbled.

"That wasn't very nice!" The Inklings turned to find a stern-looking Fluttershy staring straight at Brianna.

"Oh joy, the cavalry's here." Brianna rolled her eyes. "Look, Miss Manners, I'm not in the mood for a sermon on good behavior, so I suggest you—" She stopped as her eyes met Fluttershy's gaze. "What are you doing?" she demanded. "Stop looking at me like that!"

Fluttershy calmly walked up to Brianna and fluttered up to match the Inkling's eye level. "Violence is never the way to settle a disagreement," she declared, peering deep into Brianna's eyes. "What you did was mean and uncalled for, and you should feel bad about doing it. You've also upset many of the forest creatures with your shouting, and need to do a better job of controlling your temper."

"Stop it!" Brianna closed her eyes and raised her hands to shield herself from Fluttershy's glare, but she could still feel the pony's eyes peering into her soul. "Get away from me!"

"I want you to go over and apologize to your friend for throwing him into that bush, and promise that you'll never do it again," Fluttershy requested. "Can you do that?"

"Okay, okay!" Brianna agreed. "Just stop it with that look already!"

Danielle's jaw dropped as Brianna melted under Fluttershy's stare. I've never seen anyone tell Bree off like that and walk away without a fat lip, she thought to herself. If the rest of these things can do that, we're in serious trouble...

Brianna scurried over and yanked Tommy out of the brush. "Look, uh, Tommy," she stammered, "I, uh, I shouldn't have gotten mad and tossed you like that, and, well... I'm sorry."

"N-N-No apology necessary!" Tommy stammered, himself a bit unnerved by Fluttershy's stare. "We're good, really!"

"There!" Fluttershy said with a satisfied sigh. "Isn't that better?" She turned back to Danielle. "Now then, I had—"

"Yikes!" Danielle turned away from Fluttershy and shut her eyes as tightly as she could. "It's okay! We'll do whatever you want!" she insisted.

Applejack finally spoke up from behind Fluttershy, but the Inklings didn't have a clue what she was saying. "You think so?" Fluttershy said. "Gosh, I didn't mean to." She bowed her head to the Inklings. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you with my stare. I'm getting better at controlling it, but sometimes it just happens."

"Uh huh," Danielle acknowledged, though she continued to avoid looking directly at Fluttershy's face.

"I had made up some picnic baskets as a welcoming gift for you all, but I left them at Applejack's house," Fluttershy continued. "If you want, I can—"

"Wait, you have food?" Danielle spun and faced Fluttershy. "What kind of food?"

"Oh, lots of things. Flowers, berries, roots, fruits, fish—"

The word "fish" drew a growl of approval from Danielle's stomach. "What sort of fish?" she asked.

"I'm not sure, actually," Fluttershy admitted. "I didn't have much time, so I just grabbed whatever I had in my icebox."

"Do you have flounder burgers?" Danielle asked. "I love those things!"

"Well, I'm sure I could—"

"What about catfish steaks?" Brianna interrupted. "Those are the best, especially with a side of trout salad!"

"Um, I'm not sure I—"

"What about French fries?" Tommy inquired. "Are potatoes native to this island?"

"Yes, but—"

Danielle raised her hands to call for quiet. "All I need to know is this," she declared. "Are you gonna make us eat seaweed jerky?"

Fluttershy gave Danielle a confused look. "What's seaweed jerky?"

"Hallelujah!" Danielle wrapped an arm around Fluttershy's neck. "As splatoon leader, I declare that we totally welcome your welcoming. Lead on!"

Fluttershy and Applejack led the Inklings out of the forest and across the fields of fruit trees. "Applejack's house is just a few hills over," Fluttershy explained. "We'll be there is no time."

As the group moved, Brianna walked up alongside Danielle. "Are you sure this is a good idea, D?" she whispered. "We're completely at the mercy of these pony-things now."

"I think we were at their mercy all along," Danielle admitted. "Think about it: The first pony we run into knows our language, can communicate with everything but the freakin' grass, and has the greatest death stare in the history of history."

Brianna shuddered at the memory. "That was like staring into a Killer Wail."

"Exactly," Danielle said. "What else can these ponies do? If you ask me, we're in way over our heads, and the best thing we can do right now is smile, wave, and hope we get out of here with our lives."

"For once, I agree with you," Brianna replied. "But if Tommy asks, I'm following orders against my will. I'm not giving that know-it-all the satisfaction of being right."

"Speaking of which..." Danielle pointed to where Tommy was peppering Fluttershy with questions. "Let's hope he doesn't ask these ponies anything too personal."

Eventually, the group stopped in front of a large red building with white trim. "Holy wow, that's big!" Danielle exclaimed. "How many of you live in there?"

"Oh, just the Apple family," Fluttershy explained.

"One family!?" Brianna's mouth fell open. "If this was part of Flounder Heights, they'd stuff fifty Inklings in it and charge them all fifteen hundred coins a month!"

Applejack walked into the house, and emerged a few moments later with a large picnic basket. "There's a second one in the house if you'd like more," Fluttershy explained as Applejack set the basket on a nearby wooden table. "Have all that you want!"

"Booyah!" Danielle opened the basket, but her expression went from satisfied to surprised as she stared at the raw fish inside. "Um... Gosh, thanks," she said weakly.

"Is something wrong?" Fluttershy asked.

"Well..." Danielle scrunched up her face, and exchanged a look with Brianna. "It's just that it's so... So..."

"Raw," Brianna grumbled.

"I was going to say 'rare,'" Danielle replied.

"Righteous, dude." Craig reached past Danielle and pulled a large uncooked trout from the basket. "Fish lose valuable nutrients when you cook them. It's better to eat them raw."

"Ewwwwwwwww!" Brianna's face turned green as she watched Craig bite into the trout. "You're disgusting!"

"You mean you cook fish before you eat them?" Fluttershy looked at the Inklings quizzically. "I've never cooked a fish before. Have you, Applejack?"

Applejack shook her head, but said something and pointed to her house.

"Well, I guess we could cook them," Fluttershy said. "Do any of you know the right way to do it?"

"Uh..." Danielle realized that she had absolutely no idea how to cook fish, and she glanced around at her fellow Inklings. "Brianna! Your dad was teaching you how to cook, wasn't he?"

"Yeah, and he gave up after the third time someone called the fire department," Brianna revealed. "Apparently I'm allergic to stoves."

"Well, we can—Oh!" Suddenly, Fluttershy looked past the Inklings and up into the sky behind them. "There's Twilight and Rainbow Dash! I'll go get them—they were very excited to meet you."

The Inklings watched as Fluttershy flew past them and over to where two other ponies, one purple and the other light-blue, were hovering off in the distance. "I don't like how she said they were 'excited to meet us,'" Brianna said to Danielle. "Who else did the stupid birds blab too?"

"Remember: Smile, wave, and hope you can outrun Craig if things get ugly," Danielle replied as Fluttershy led the other ponies down to the farmhouse.

"All right, everypony," Fluttershy said as she landed, "These are my friends Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle, and the dragon is my friend Spike. Girls, this is Danielle and her friends Brianna, Tommy, and... I'm sorry, was it Chris?"

"Close enough," Brianna muttered, drawing an elbow from Danielle.

The purple pony smiled, but the light-blue one kept her distance and eyed the Inklings warily. "Hello!" Danielle said, putting on her biggest smile. "We're, uh, so happy to see you!"

Applejack spoke up from behind the Inklings. "That's right!" Fluttershy remembered. "Officially it's Princess Twilight Sparkle. She's the Princess of Friendship!"

"P-P-Princess?" Danielle's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets, and she immediately dropped to one knee and bowed her head. "My apologies for the casual introduction, your Highness," she said. "It is truly an honor to be in your presence!"

Brianna, who didn't even flinch at the word 'princess,' shook her head. "You haven't lost your touch, D," she observed. "You're still the biggest brown-noser in Inkopolis."

"Shut up and bow," Danielle whispered sternly without looking up.

The purple pony's face turned red, and she said a few words to Fluttershy. "You don't have to do that," Fluttershy translated. "Twilight gets a little embarrassed when creatures give her the royal treatment."

"Whatever you say!" Danielle popped up from the ground. "I just didn't want to do anything to offend—"

"Incredible!" Tommy suddenly shoved past Danielle and got in Twilight's face. "I've observed ponies with wings and ponies with head tentacles, but never one with both! How many different types of ponies are there? What do you use that extra tentacle for? How did it—Ow, ow, ow!" he squealed as Brianna grabbed him by the ear and dragged him back.

"Well, generally there are three different types of ponies, but princesses are a rare fourth type called alicorns," Fluttershy explained. "Alicorns have both the wings of a pegasus and the horn of a unicorn, which is used to perform magic."

"Wait, magic?" Tommy eyed Fluttershy suspiciously. "What do you mean, magic? There's no such thing as magic."

"What do you mean?" Fluttershy asked. "Of course magic exists."

"Yeah, Tommy," Danielle said in a strict, don't-argue-with-the-ponies tone. "Magic definitely exists."

Tommy sighed. "Look, I'm sure something might seem like magic because you don't understand how it works, but I assure you, there is a perfectly scientific explanation behind it."

Fluttershy started to reply, but Twilight interrupted her. "No, he doesn't believe in magic," Fluttershy confirmed.

Twilight scratched her chin for a few seconds, and then smiled and said a few words to Fluttershy. "She'd like to try out a spell on you, if you're okay with that," Fluttershy said.

"Absolutely!" Tommy declared as he stepped forward. "Afterwards, I'll explain how the trick worked, and show you the scientific methods behind it."

"You do that, champ," Brianna said as she and Danielle took two giant steps away from Tommy.

Twilight closed her eyes, and a pink glow surrounded her horn, causing the Inkling girls to take another giant step back. A similar glow soon surrounded Tommy, who stood stoically as the spell took effect.

Danielle held her breath as the spell was cast, but when the aura disappeared, Tommy looked no different than he had before. "H-How do you feel, Tommy?" she asked.

"I'm fine," Tommy proclaimed. "You see? There were some odd lighting effects, but otherwise—"

Twilight stepped forward and said a few words to Tommy. "The light?" he replied. "Well, my guess is that the cells in your horn generate enzymes that react with the oxygen in the air, which—" Tommy stopped as he realized whose question he was answering. "Wait, did you just..."

Twilight nodded and started to say something else, but Tommy shook his head. "No," he declared emphatically. "There's no such thing as a translation spell. You must have been able to speak our language all along."

Twilight sighed, said a few more words, and pointed to the other Inklings. "All right, I will," Tommy said. "Danielle, you understand the princess now, right?"

Danielle looked at Tommy like he had two heads. "Uh, no," she replied. "It's all gibberish to me."

"You don't? But that doesn't make any—" Tommy stopped as Twilight spoke up again. "She's wondering if you'd like to try the spell next," he translated.

Brianna scowled and stepped in front of Danielle. "I think we've seen enough 'magic,' thank you very much."

"It's alright, Bree," Danielle said as she pulled Brianna back. "I'm way tougher than Tommy. If it didn't hurt him, then I'll be fine." She nodded to Twilight. "Go for it."

Twilight smiled, her horn started glowing, and a pink glow surrounded Danielle. The Inkling gulped, closed her eyes, and wished she was really as confident as she sounded.

Danielle stood still for what felt like an eternity, until she heard an unfamiliar voice: "Can you hear me now?" When she opened her eyes, she found Twilight standing directly in front of her. "Did the spell work?" Twilight asked.

"Whoa..." Danielle's eyes popped open, and she turned to Tommy. "Say what you want, Tommy, but I'm a believer."

"But it's impossible!" Tommy insisted. "It is scientifically infeasible to—yahhhh!" he screamed as he suddenly found himself lifted off the ground and swung around in the air.

"What the...?" Danielle turned back to see Twilight's horn glowing again. "What are you doing?"

"Letting him fly," Twilight said with a smile. "Flying always wins creatures over."

"This... This is incredible!" Tommy gushed from above. "Do you have any idea what this means? This challenges everything we knew about science! This is monumental, revolutionary, a seminal moment in history!"

Craig looked up from his fish. "Far out, bro."

"What'd I tell you?" Twilight let Tommy fly around for a while before bringing him back down to earth. "Now then," she said, "now that we can speak to each other directly, I'd love to know more about you four. What are you? Where are you from? What brings you to Ponyville?"

A cold chill ran up Danielle's back, and she said a silent prayer that the pony didn't have a mind-reading spell. "Well, heh heh," she said, fidgeting nervously as she looked at Twilight, "it's, uh, a funny story actually..."

Inkling Biology

As Danielle gave Twilight a weak smile, she racked her brain to come up with an answer to the pony's question. The truth was the first thing that came to mind, but telling a race of magical powerhouses "we're here to kick you out and take over" didn't seem prudent. Unfortunately, the pressure of coming up with a decent lie made her mind go blank, and she couldn't think of anything to say. "Um... Well... You see..." she stammered, stalling in hopes that an idea would strike her.

"We're Inklings!" Tommy interrupted. "We're a highly-advanced species of squid that came out of the sea millions of years ago, but can transform to and from our prior form at will, and—"

"Transform?" Twilight's eyes popped open. "But you said you didn't believe in magic. How do you change forms without it?"

Tommy looked at Twilight in disbelief. "You... You really want to know?"

"I do!" Twilight confirmed. "Learning about other creatures is fascinating."

"Really?" Tommy's face lit up. "Well, look no further—I've been studying Inkling biology since I was seven! I can tell you everything you need to know!"

Phew! Saved by science! Danielle wiped her brow as Tommy began rambling about the finer points of Inkling physiology. She glanced around quickly to make sure the ponies were occupied, and then grabbed Brianna and pulled her aside. "What do I tell them, Bree?" she asked. "They want to know why we're here!"

"Deep breaths, D," Brianna said, putting her hand on Danielle's shoulder. "We tell them that we're a band of random travelers just passing through to see the country. Nothing about where we're from, nothing about where we're going, and nothing about the mission."

"Okay," Danielle agreed. "What about the boat? Maybe we can get these super-magical ponies to fix it for us."

"Perfect," Brianna said. "We just need help fixing our boat, and we'll be out of their hair the moment it happens. Can you handle that?"

"I think so," Danielle said, although her tone was less than confident.

"Hey, Danielle, Brianna?" Tommy called to his colleagues. "I was wondering if you could help me demonstrate how we interact with our ink."

"You mean like swimming and stuff?" Danielle shrugged. "I guess we could—" She stopped as her stomach growled a reminder that it was still empty. "We could do it after we eat, maybe?" she proposed.

"Yeah, we'd better do that before someone hogs all the food." Brianna reached over and snatched a raw fish out of Craig's hands just before he could bite into it. "Ask Miss Purple if she has a spell to turn this into a medium-well patty, would you?"

Between Twilight's magic, Applejack's baking experience, and Tommy's complicated explanation of pan searing, the ponies ended up turning Fluttershy's raw fish into a stale, overcooked culinary disaster. To a group of starving Inklings that were about ready to eat the siding off of Applejack's barn, however, it was the greatest meal they had ever eaten, and whatever bad taste the fish left was quickly rinsed away by Applejack's applelicious dessert offerings.

After the meal, the entire group walked over to a small clearing near the front entrance of the farm for the ink demonstration. "Ugh..." Brianna groaned as she trudged behind Danielle. "You may have to roll me over to the fence, D. I ate too much pie."

"I told Tommy about our story for the ponies," Danielle whispered. "Did you get a chance to talk to Craig?"

Brianna nodded. "He's kinda numb, so I made sure to tell him exactly where I'd stick that roller of his if he said something stupid. I think he got the message."

Danielle rolled her eyes as Twilight approached her. "I've cast my translation spell on my friends, so they can all understand what you say," the pony explained. "Would your other friends be okay with me using the spell on them, so they can understand us?"

Danielle turned and relayed the request to Brianna. "What do you think, Bree?"

Brianna folded her arms and shook her head. "No way. Food is one thing, but I'm not letting that witch use her weird powers to mess with my mind. Somebody has to—"

Danielle gasped and covered Brianna's mouth with her hand. "You realize all the ponies can understand you now, right?" she hissed.

"It's okay," Twilight said. "Some ponies are just slow to open up to others. Believe me, I know—I was one of them."

"Try asking Craig," Danielle suggested. "I'm sure he won't mind."

"All right, everyone, stand back!" Tommy shouted as he stepped forward. "Weaponized squid ink can be very dangerous, and we don't know how it might affect ponies, so—"

"It's ink," Rainbow Dash interrupted. "How bad could it be?"

"Really bad," Tommy replied. "You see, we Inklings produce ink naturally within two ink sacs that reside with our thoracic cavity, just below the lungs. This ink is harmless enough on its own, but during the secretion process, it gets mixed with a blend of enzymes and pigments that give it its distinct color. These additives make the ink highly caustic to other Inklings that aren't currently producing ink of that color!"

"Oh. Uh... Gosh, that is bad, isn't it?" Rainbow Dash grinned a bit too widely at Tommy, and then glanced quickly from side to side before whispering something to Twilight.

"He means the ink burns and dissolves skin on contact," Twilight explained.

"Ew." Rainbow Dash stuck her tongue out in disgust, drawing stares from those around her. "I mean, I totally knew that."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "What do you mean by 'currently producing ink?'" she asked Tommy. "Can you produce colors other than orange?"

"Yes!" Tommy proclaimed. "We can produce a wide variety of colors—blue, green, purple, pink, yellow..."

"But not red, for some reason," Brianna muttered.

"Does the color of your ink always match your hair?" Twilight asked.

"They're tentacles, actually," Tommy clarified. "But yes, tentacle color is a dead giveaway for ink color."

Spike raised his hand. "So if you produce ink in a sack below your lungs..." He pointed at Tommy's ink tank. "How does it get in there?"

Danielle and Tommy exchanged an awkward glance. "You really don't want to know," Danielle said.

Tommy nodded. "Let's just say the ink is pumped into the tank from where it's, er, secreted. From there, it gets loaded into our weapons for shooting! Or rolling, in Craig's case."

"What about its rapid evaporation properties?" Twilight inquired. "We were only able to find traces of ink in the forest, and they dried up the minute the sun hit them."

"It's true," Tommy said. "Once spread onto the ground, the ink will dry up and disappear within about fifteen minutes. However, a lot can happen in that time!" He pointed to a grove of trees off in the distance. "Craig, do you see that big tree over there?"

Craig squinted at the grove for a few seconds. "I count about twenty-seven of them, bro."

Tommy walked over and whispered a few instructions into Craig's ear. "10-4, dude," Craig acknowledged, and he grabbed his roller and began jogging towards the tree, leaving a line of orange ink behind him.

Twilight immediately rushed over to the ink trail. "Wait!" Tommy. "We don't know how the ink will affect—" He stopped at he watched Twilight summon a test tube out of thin air and levitate the tube over to scoop up an ink sample. "Oh. Right."

"I don't know about this," Applejack admitted. "If you're so worried about what this ink could do to us, why ain't you worried about what it might do to the trees?"

"Don't worry," Tommy replied. "Studies show that squid ink is actually good for plants!" He walked over and stuck his fingers into the ink. "As you can see, the ink is maybe an inch thick here, so in our current form, it really isn't suitable for swimming."

"But in this other form you talked about..." Twilight said.

"The cell dissolution properties of the ink are not as strong as with different-colored ink, so it allows us to—YAH!" Tommy jumped back as Craig, now in his squid form, leaped out of the ink. "Darn it, Craig, don't scare me like that!" Tommy chided his colleague.

"That's Craig?" Twilight peered down at the squid. "How is this possible? Without magic, I mean?"

"It's complicated," Tommy admitted. "It involves a series of muscle contractions and the release of special hormones that cause the body's organs to shift and change shape. The bottom line is yes, that's actually Craig."

The ponies watched in awe as Craig transformed back into his humanoid form. "That's amazing!" Fluttershy exclaimed. "I've never seen anything like that."

"Now, as I was saying, our squid forms have some really amazing properties!" Tommy motioned Craig back over to the ink trail. "Ink that is the same color as an Inkling has a weaker affect on our bodies. In human form, the ink is harmless, but in squid form, as Craig will demonstrate, the dissolution is just strong enough for us to spread out within the ink, which allows use to swim even in a thin layer like this!"

Craig stepped into his ink trail and transformed back into a squid, and quickly disappeared into the ink. "Well I'll be," Applejack said. "That's one doozy of a trick y'all have got."

"And you can move around within the ink when you're dissolved?" Twilight asked.

"We can!" Tommy confirmed. "I would have Craig demonstrate this, but I think Danielle should do it. She's the fastest swimmer in all of—I mean, of all the Inklings."

"I am?" Danielle gave Tommy a confused look.

"Excuse me?!" Brianna put her hands on her hips and glared at Tommy. "I am the fastest swimmer around! I can swim circles around any squid you can find!"

Tommy folded his arms. "Prove it."

Danielle could almost feel the heat from Brianna's rising temper. "No, no! No need to prove anything!" she insisted, stepping in between Tommy and Brianna. "I haven't beaten Bree at anything in seven years. There's no reason to believe I'll start now." She leaned over to Tommy. "Do you not want to live to see your next birthday or something?" she hissed.

"She won't kill me with Fluttershy around," Tommy replied. "Now here's what I want to you to do..." He whispered a few direction in Danielle's ear.

Danielle rolled her eyes. "I still think you're crazy." She turned back to Brianna and shrugged. "I guess there's no convincing him. What the heck—one race can't hurt anything, can it?"

Brianna muttered something under her breath. "Fine," she agreed.

"Great!" Tommy pointed back to the far-off tree grove. "The first squid to go from here to those trees and back wins. Swimmers, on your marks!"

"This is stupid," Brianna muttered to Danielle as they lined up. "We're here to take over, not to put on a kid and squid show for the ponies."

"Get set!" Tommy commanded. "And... GO!"

Brianna was in the ink and steaming towards the trees before anypony could blink. "As you can see," Tommy explained, "we are much faster in ink than we are on dry land."

"I don't know if I'd call that fast," Rainbow Dash remarked. "It's faster than I've ever seen Applejack run, though." The comment drew a glare from Applejack, but Rainbow just blew a raspberry at her in response.

Danielle watched as Brianna sped away, and then transformed into a squid herself. Instead of swimming away, however, she remained still, and began drawing ink from the ground into her body, causing her head to start swelling.

"What is she—Whoa!" Rainbow's jaw fell open as Danielle suddenly launched herself into the air and rocketed across the guy. "You guys can fly?"

"It's more of a jump, actually," Tommy said. "We can cover almost a thousand feet in about three seconds, which is much faster than swimming. However, we need a target at the landing point to focus our jump on, like another Inkling, or a special beacon like the one I told Craig to set by the trees."

"Like the one you had..." Twilight's voice trailed off as she processed the information. "You just set your friend up, didn't you?"

Tommy tried (and failed) to suppress a smirk. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Incoming!" Applejack shouted and pointed as Danielle flew back over to the group and made a perfect two-point landing next to Tommy.

"See?" Tommy said. "I knew you'd be faster."

"Not by much!" Danielle pointed to a set of ripples on the ink's surface that were approaching fast.

"...And done!" Brianna popped out of the ink, transformed back into her human form, and slammed her feet onto the ground with authority. "Geez, this trip must be making D feel sluggish or something. I didn't see her at—" She stopped as she realized Danielle was standing in front of her. "What the... What are you doing here? Did you even start?"

"She beat you here by a good few seconds, actually," Tommy said with a chuckle. "Maybe it was you that the trip affected."

"No way!" Brianna insisted. "I was flying out there!"

Danielle shrugged. "What can I say? We all get lucky sometimes." She leaned over to Brianna. "It's Tommy's fault," she whispered. "I'll explain later."

"Anyway..." Tommy clapped his hands together and turned to face Twilight. "In short, Inklings are the ultimate triumph of evolution, growing from a simple squid to a sophisticated creature with some incredible abilities! Do you have any other questions?"

"Just one," Twilight said. "You mentioned muscles and hormones, but how does your transformation affect your skeletal structure? I can't imagine how your bones could shrink and grow without magic."

"They don't—we don't have any bones!" Tommy replied. "Our bodies are completely cartilage-supported."

Brianna stepped forward. "Here, let me demonstrate." She grabbed Tommy's arm and bent his elbow back the wrong way. "What do you know, D? Nothing broke!"

"YAHHHHH!" Tommy screamed, his eyes nearly popping out of their sockets. "Leggo! Leggo!"

"Oh, does that hurt? I'm sorry," Brianna replied in a definitely-NOT-sorry tone as she released Tommy's arm. "I just wanted to help."

Danielle shook her head as Tommy rubbed his sore arm. "You kinda had that coming."

Twilight stepped forward. "You Inklings really are fascinating creatures," she said, "but I'm still curious as to what brought you to Ponyville. Are you just here to visit, or do you have some other plans?"

Danielle took a deep breath, and reminded herself that she was ready for the question this time. "Well," she began, "let me tell you—"

"Ahhh!" A moderately-loud scream drew all eyes to Fluttershy, who was staring wide-eyed at the glowing butterfly-shaped symbols on her flank. "Oh, I'm sorry," she said with an embarrassed smile. "My cutie mark started glowing, and it startled me."

"Look! All of your marks are glowing!" Spike pointed out.

"Must be the map's callin' us about somethin' again," Applejack concluded.

"Wait, did you say a map is calling you?" Tommy asked.

Twilight nodded. "We have a magical map that alerts us when trouble is brewing in different parts of the world. I'm afraid we have to return to the castle at once to see what's going on. I'm sorry to cut our visit short, but—"

"No no, that's totally fine!" Danielle insisted. "We really should be getting on our way ourselves! You guys can go back to your castle, and—"

"Wait." Brianna grabbed Danielle by the shoulder. "Are they inviting us to see their castle?"

Twilight giggled. "She would know if she'd have let me cast my spell," she told Danielle. "You're welcome to come with us, if you'd like."

"If they're offering, the answer is yes," Brianna declared. "We'd love to see their castle."

"I agree!" Tommy said. "Castles are a treasure trove of history, architecture, and culture!"

Danielle gave Brianna a confused look. "Weren't you the one who said we needed to—"

Brianna pulled Danielle close. "This is a golden opportunity to get inside their castle and gather intel on their defenses," she whispered. "They might just be giving us the edge we need to conquer them when the time comes."

Danielle sighed. "What the heck," she decided. "It's not like we're going anywhere fast." She turned back to Twilight. "We'd love to see your castle!"

"Then follow us!" Applejack said. "Trouble's a brewin', so we'd better shake a leg! Yeehaw!"

With that, the ponies turned and headed for town, followed closely by their Inkling counterparts. "Aw geez, not more running," Tommy muttered. "My blisters were just starting to heal..."

Within ten minutes, the entire group had cut across town and made their way to Twilight's castle, a large crystalline structure that towered over every other building in town. "Good grief," Brianna remarked as she climbed the stairs to the entrance. "And I thought the Squid Sisters' house was gaudy."

The ponies led Danielle and her crew through a maze of hallways until they reached a large circular room with a large table at its center. Sitting on the table—or was it part of the table itself?—was a large topological map that depicted several large islands and towns, including a city that seemed to be floating on the clouds themselves. "No way! They control this much land?" Brianna exclaimed. "Ol' Sarge will have a heart attack when we tell him about all this."

Waiting next to the table were two other ponies, a white-coated unicorn with purple, exquisitely-styled hair and a pink pony with poofy hair who had neither wings nor a horn. "I do wish this map would call us at a more reasonable time," the unicorn lamented. "I was just working with a new client when—" She stopped as she spied the Inklings standing behind the other ponies. "What's this? I don't believe we've met before."

The pink pony gasped at the sight of the Inklings, and she leaped into the air and hung there inexplicably for a few seconds with every limb outstretched. "New friends!" In an instant, the pony was centimeters from Danielle's nose. "Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie! What's your name?" Before Pinkie could even finish the question, she was in front of Tommy, startling him so much he fell over backwards. "I like baking cakes, singing songs, playing pranks, and making friends!" She suddenly disappeared into thin air, only to materialize in front of Brianna a second later. "Do you want to be friends?"

"Yah!" Brianna jumped back, grabbed her gun, and nearly stuck the barrel up Pinkie's nose. "Stay back!"

"Pinkie, calm down!" Twilight used her magic to pull Pinkie back from Brianna. "These are the Inklings, a group of squid-like creatures traveling through Equestria. This is Danielle, and that's Brianna next to her, and that's Tommy behind the girls, and the one with the big, uh, rolling thing is Craig. Danielle, I'd like you and your team to meet my friends Rarity and Pinkie—"

"Holy crab!" Danielle shouted as Pinkie pulled a massive cannon from behind her back. "Take cover!"

Danielle, Brianna, and Tommy dove to the floor as the cannon went off with a loud bang, shooting a large doughy glob across the room and smack into Craig's face. "Oops," Pinkie said. "I, uh, guess I put the confetti in the oven again."

As the trio looked up in horror to see what was left of their colleague, Craig just blinked a few times and then dabbed his finger in the goo and stuck it in his mouth. "Sweet, dude."

"Pinkie!" Twilight chided her friend as the pink pony hid her cannon away. "You're scaring the Inklings, and we don't have time for a party right now."

"But... But... New friends..." Pinkie whimpered.

"Maybe after we see what the map has to say," Twilight offered as she turned back to the Inklings. "I'm really sorry about that. Pinkie gets a little excited when she makes new friends."

"If it's all the same to you, we're just gonna lie here for a while," Danielle replied.

As the ponies began talking amongst themselves and arranging themselves around the map, Danielle crawled over to Brianna. "Is that enough intel for you?" she asked.

Brianna looked over and nodded. "Forget the freaking boat. If all these ponies are packing heat like that, I'd rather swim home."

"Me too," Tommy added. "I'd love to know more about pony magic and flight mechanics and those 'cutie mark' things they talk about, but... I also want to live to see my family again."

"Then it's settled," Danielle declared. "We exit gracefully, we make a beeline for the boat, and we don't tell anyone where we're going. If these ponies discover Inkopolis, we're doomed."

"That's strange," Twilight could be heard in the background. "I've never seen the map do this before."

The three Inklings picked themselves off the floor and joined Craig in staring at the map on the table. Six small symbols, one matching each of the marks on the flanks of their hosts, were floating high above the map, but were not moving in any particular direction. Instead, the map itself was shifting underneath them, and the island eventually disappeared from view. "Where the hay is this thing sendin' us?" Applejack asked.

Eventually, a smaller island shifted into view, and settled underneath the hovering symbols. "This is incredible!" Twilight exclaimed as the symbols began circling a tall structure in the middle of the island. "This corner of the world has never been charted before. I think the map is taking us to a whole new continent!"

Danielle's eyes widened as she realized the floating symbols were circling a tiny replica of Inkopolis Tower. "Uh oh..."

Can Inklings Have Mustaches?

"Errrrrgh! Give it up, Rainbow Trash! I can feel you getting weaker!"

"Rraaaaagh! Well, you better get your feels checked, fishface! I'm comin' at you all day!"

Danielle yawned as Brianna and Rainbow Dash trash-talked each other as they engaged in an intense arm/hoof-wrestling match. I woke up early for this? Danielle thought to herself as she checked the time on her phone. "It's been forty-five minutes," she informed the competitors. "Can't we just call it a draw and move on?"

"Are you crazy? I've almost won!" Brianna insisted, even though the pair's limbs hadn't budged in at least fifteen minutes. "Besides, we already called the rock-rolling race a draw."

"And the horseshoe-throwing contest, and the ball-bouncing contest, and the spin-until-you-get-dizzy contest..." Rainbow added.

Danielle sighed and looked back towards Ponyville, perking up a little as she saw Twilight and the others coming towards them. "Look you two, it's Tommy and Cr—oh, crab." She turned back to confirm that Brianna and Rainbow were not paying attention, and then dashed over to the arriving party.

"Good morning!" Twilight greeted Danielle. "How did you—"

"Hang on a sec." Danielle held up her hands to stop the group. "Craig, you're gonna want to keep a low profile and stay close to Twilight today," she told her teammate. "Bree started talking in her sleep last night, and... Yeah. Don't get too close to her."

"That's cool," Craig agreed.

"She's still mad, huh?" Applejack shook her head. "That girl sure knows how to carry a grudge."

Twilight looked past Danielle to watch the competition behind her. "How long have those two been going at it?"

Danielle shrugged. "All I know is that my blanket was commandeered for a tug-of-war match around 5 AM."

"Five? That's actually later than I expected." Twilight's horn lit up, and she levitated an envelope out of her saddlebag and over to Danielle. "Now then, let's get down to business. I wanted to send word to your leaders that we were coming, but Tommy tells me that we have to use a special device to communicate, and that we have to ask your permission to use it. Could you pass along this message to your superiors?"

Danielle gave Twilight a funny look. "You want us to tell the High Council that you're coming?"

"Of course!" Twilight replied. "This is an official diplomatic visit, after all. I'd hate to show up unannounced."

"Uh... Okay. I can do that." Danielle took the letter from Twilight. "The radio's back at the boat though, so—"

"Then that's where we'll go first." Twilight turned to Fluttershy. "Go tell Rainbow she'll have to put her rivalry with Brianna on hold. We need you both to guide our balloon."

"Balloon?" Suddenly, a dark shadow fell over Danielle, and she looked up to see a large hot air balloon blotting out the sun above her. "What the—"

"Hiya!" Pinkie called down as she poked her head up from the balloon basket. "Don't worry, I've packed cookies enough for everypony!"

Danielle looked over at Twilight. "You aren't really going to cross the ocean in that, are you?"

"Actually," Tommy pointed out, "if we can't fix the boat's engine, we'll be crossing the ocean in it too."

Danielle looked back up at the balloon, and then over at Brianna and Rainbow Dash as they argued over who was the better arm-wrestler. "This day isn't going to get any better for me, is it?"

After fifteen minutes of debate, Brianna and Rainbow agreed to take their match to the air via a game of I Spy, and the entire crew piled into the balloon. It was a tight fit with six ponies, four Inklings, and a baby dragon, and while Twilight had made a precise seating chart to make sure everyone would fit, her plans went out the window when Tommy got airsick five minutes into the ride and had to scramble to the basket's edge before he hurled. Toss in Brianna and Rainbow Dash constantly yelling at Pinkie Pie for jumping into their I Spy game, and everyone's nerves were frayed by the time the balloon landed next to the Inklings' boat.

"Finally!" Danielle breathed a sigh of relief as she jumped out of the basket. "Dig out the radio, Craig—we've got a message to send."

Craig hopped aboard the ship and disappeared below deck, emerging a minute later with the now-hand-powered radio. "This is splatoon leader Danielle calling home base," Danielle spoke into the mic. "Sergeant Sardine, do you read me?"

"It's about time, plankton!" the sergeant could be heard shouting through the static. "What's your report on the status of the island? Is it uninhabited?"

"I'm afraid it's very inhabited, sir," Danielle admitted. "Apparently there's an entire nation of four-legged creatures called 'ponies' living here."

"Ponies? What intel do you have on these ponies?" the sergeant asked. "Can you neutralize them?"

"Actually, sir, they kind of neutralized us," Danielle replied.

"Our weapons have proven to be minimally effective against them," Tommy interrupted, "and some of them possess magical powers—yes, I said magical—that far outstrip every piece of military technology we've ever developed! Their civilization is admittedly a bit primitive, and their belief in the 'magic of friendship' is almost cult-like, but in my opinion, ponies are unquestionably the most fascinating and most dangerous creatures Inklingkind has ever encountered! Oh, and some of them can fly, too."

"Bree practically marinated one in ink last night," Danielle added, "and all that did was make it angry."

The radio was silent for a few seconds. "Harrumph," the sergeant finally said. "I think you plankton are being overly dramatic about this whole thing, but if that mouthy friend of yours couldn't splat them, I suppose it's time to send some real soldiers to do the job. If that island's big enough to house an entire nation of these 'ponies,' it's far too valuable to just walk away from without a fight. Disengage and report back to base at once!"

"Nothing would make us happier, sir," Danielle explained, "but I don't think it's possible. The ponies have an indestructible magical map that's pointing them directly to Inkopolis, and they're sending a delegation to meet with the High Council as we speak."

"What!?" the sergeant exclaimed. "You mean they're coming to invade Inkopolis?"

Danielle gulped. "It's worse, sir. They're coming to make us befriend the Octarians. In fact, they gave me a message to pass along to the High Council." Danielle opened the letter that Twilight had given her and began reading it aloud:

Dear Inklings,

My name is Princess Twilight Sparkle, and I bring you greetings from the land of Equestria. I represent a magical race of creatures called ponies, and my friends and I serve as special friendship ambassadors, solving problems and spreading the magic of friendship around the world.

We recently learned of the ongoing conflict between yourselves and the Octarians over the island that you share, and would like to offer our assistance in the matter. My friends and I are exceptionally skilled at solving matters such as these, and we believe that we can bring the dispute to a peaceful, permanent resolution and allow both parties to share the land equally. We understand that you may be reluctant to settle with the Octarians, but we—

"Reluctant!?" Sergeant Sardine interrupted. "RELUCTANT!? This... This is downright insane! They want us to share with those backwards savages?! I've never heard anything so ludicrous in my life!"

"That's what we tried to tell them, sir," Danielle replied, "but they insisted that the Octarians couldn't be that bad."

"Hah!" the sergeant laughed. "And we're supposed to fear creatures that are stupid enough to believe that Octarians can be reasoned with?"

A loud noise caused the Inklings to jump, and they turned to see their boat, which was surrounded by a pink magical aura, rise into the air and began floating towards the ponies' balloon. "Uh... Considering they just lifted a two-thousand-pound boat ten feet into the air without raising a hoof," Tommy said, "I would suggest fearing them, yes."

"Tommy, go ask Twilight what she's doing with the boat," Danielle said with a sigh. "Anyway, this letter goes on for another page or so..."

"Scrap it!" Sergeant Sardine ordered. "If what you're saying is true, then this is a code-red, priority-1A national security crisis, and the High Council must be warned at once! We'll call back as many exploration teams as we can before they arrive, so keep an eye on those ponies and buy as much time for us as you can!"

"We'll try, sir, but—"

"Don't just try, do!" the sergeant shouted. "You're about to go down in history as the plankton who either saved or destroyed Inklingkind. I suggest you act accordingly!"

"Yes, sir," Danielle replied meekly as the sergeant's voice faded into static. She motioned for Craig to stop powering the radio, and then found a nearby rock to sit on and ponder her fate. First Bree, and now Sarge? she thought. We can't stop these ponies anymore than we can stop the wind from blowing! But if we don't stop them, they're going to fight it out with the High Council, lose their patience, and splat us all! Images of Inkopolis in flames flashed through her mind, and she pressed her face into her hands. How am I gonna get us out of this one? she wondered.

"Chill, girl," Craig offered, putting a hand on Danielle's shoulder. "The Squid Spirits won't steer us wrong. Everything'll work out."

"No, it won't." Danielle shoved Craig's hand away and glared at him. "The minute we set foot in the harbor, Sarge'll have every Splattershot in town waiting for us! We won't make it off the boat, let alone to the High Council!"

"Oh dear. I take it they didn't react well to our message?" Danielle jumped and turned to find Twilight standing right behind her. "I guess I underestimated how deep your distrust of Octarians runs," Twilight said.

"Well... Yes!" Danielle dropped to her knees in front of Twilight. "Look, I know you ponies are all about friendship and everything, but you just don't understand who you're dealing with! If you try to make us share with the Octarians, it'll be a disaster! Please, for all our sakes, I beg you to reconsider this trip!"

"Hmmm..." Twilight scratched her chin as she pondered the matter. "You know, you're probably right. Having a bunch of preachy ponies show up on your doorstep and tell you to make friends with your mortal enemies wouldn't go over well at all."

A hopeful smile appeared on Danielle's face. "S-So you won't come home with us?"

"Oh no, we're definitely coming with you. We just have to be smarter about our presentation, that's all." Twilight gave Danielle a wink, and turned and pointed back at the balloon. "But first, come and see what we've done with your ship!"

"What do you mean, what you've done with our ship?" Danielle followed Twilight over to the balloon, which was now attached to a large mass of white bubbles instead of its basket. "Are we riding home in a cloud now?" she asked.

"Actually, that's our ship!" Tommy explained. "Since the basket was too small for everyone to travel comfortably, Twilight decided to create an airship with our boat instead!"

"And the reason our boat looks like a cloud is..?"

"Actually, those are soap bubbles," Tommy said. "Rarity said she wouldn't ride across the street in something that dirty, so she's giving it a thorough scrubbing before we lift off."

Danielle stared quizzically at the tiny balloon attached to the heavy boat. "Are you sure this thing will even get off the ground?"

"Oh, there's no question that this will never work!" Tommy replied. "But it's magic, so I'm just going to assume that it will."

"Hey, D!" Brianna came rushing over to Danielle. "Did you get a message back to Sarge?" she whispered, taking care to keep Twilight from overhearing her.

"Oh yeah, and he's just thrilled that we're bringing ponies home," Danielle replied sarcastically.

"Yeah, well, at least now they can set a trap for them or something." Brianna turned back to the boat. "How long is this going to take?" she asked Twilight. "I mean sure, it was dirty, but not that dirty!"

Twilight shrugged. "With Rarity, everything is that dirty. It could be a while."

Danielle rolled her eyes. I guess we're following Sarge's orders after all, she thought.

It took almost two hours before Rarity was satisfied, and just as Tommy predicted, the balloon defied all logic and lifted the boat into the air with relative ease. While most of the ponies stayed on deck to enjoy the view and help steer the ship, Twilight and Spike secluded themselves below deck for several hours. For her part, Danielle spent the beginning of the flight rationing out food, water, and motion sickness medication to whoever needed it, and made sure to enforce a ten-foot buffer zone between Brianna and Craig at all times.

When Twilight finally emerged, she asked Danielle for a private meeting in the Inkling's quarters. "I think I've come up with a way to satisfy your superiors and still get our message across," Twilight explained, "but I'll need your help to make it work."

"What do you mean?" Danielle asked.

"First, I need to use you for a spell I've written," Twilight said. "It won't—well, it shouldn't—affect you in any way. If everything works out, it will be me that's affected, not you."

"Uh... Okay," Danielle agreed, although her tone was a little unsure.

"Great! Come with me." Twilight led Danielle down to the Inkling's room, where Spike was waiting with a long scroll covered in indecipherable scribblings. "Hold that up so I can read it," Twilight instructed Spike. "Danielle, you can take a seat on the bed. This shouldn't take more than a few minutes..."

Danielle gulped as she saw Twilight's horn light up, and she closed her eyes as she lay on the bed. "Okay... Yes... So far, so good..." she heard Twilight say. "By the way, Danielle, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?"

"Well... It depends on the question," Danielle replied.

"I was just curious: How old are you?"

What does that have to do with anything? Danielle wondered. "Um, I'm seventeen. Why?"

"Seventeen?!" Twilight gasped. "That's... That's incredible! You're the leader of a military scouting expedition, you're entrusted with the lives of three other Inklings, and you're just seventeen? Why, my brother was still mopping barracks at that age!" The room was silent for a few seconds. "You must be a talented leader to be chosen for this mission."

"Are you kidding?" Danielle shook her head. "I'm a terrible leader! I'm indecisive, I'm insecure, I command absolutely no respect from my peers, I—"

"That's not true," Twilight interrupted. "You certainly have the respect of your team, especially Brianna."

"Bree puts up with me because we've known each other forever," Danielle countered. "Look at Craig—the minute he decides the 'Squid Spirits' want him do something, I might as well be invisible."

"What about Tommy?" Twilight inquired. "Based on our conversation last night, he seems to think very highly of you."

"Mostly because you haven't let Brianna 'splat' him yet," Spike added.

Danielle sighed. "Tommy doesn't know any better. He's a science squid, not a soldier! To be honest, I don't know why he even signed up for this job in the first place."

"So," Twilight continued, "if you're such a terrible leader, how come your superiors made you the leader and not, say, Brianna?"

"Bree should be the leader," Danielle declared. "She's smarter, she's faster, she's stronger, she works well under pressure, and squids actually listen to her! They just made me the leader because... well, just because."

"Just because? I'm sure it's more than that, Now, let me see if I got this right..."

Twilight was silent for another minute. Suddenly, a light began glowing in the room, growing so bright that even Danielle could see it from behind her eyelids. The Inkling sat up and opened her eyes, but by then the light was too bright to stare at. "What's going on?" she asked, shielding her eyes from the glare.

The light lasted for a few more seconds before exploding in a bright white flash and disappearing. As Danielle rubbed her eyes, she could hear Spike shouting, "Wow! Twilight, you did it!"

"Did what?" Danielle stood up and turned towards Twilight, and the sight made her jaw drop: Twilight had vanished, and in her place stood a near-exact copy of Danielle herself, right down to her pink polo. The only difference was that the copy's head tentacles were purple, with a pair of pink and dark-purple streaks running down one of them. "What the... Twilight?"

"Neat, huh?" the purple Inkling said with Twilight's voice. "I took a spell that transforms ponies into Breezies, modified it to match any target creature, used you as the target, and voilà!"

"That's... Pretty cool, actually," Danielle admitted. "But why?"

"That's the second thing I need your help with," Twilight said. "If the reaction to hosting a group of ponies is as bad as it sounded, then we certainly can't show up as a group of ponies! So instead, I decided to apply the 'When in Canterlot...' theory, and approach them as fellow Inklings. We're still working on the story behind our appearance, though."

"Right now it's 'we live in Equestria under the ponies' tirran... Terran...'" Spike tried to explain.

"Tyrannical," Twilight said. "We live under the ponies' tyrannical rule, but we rose up and attacked just as you were leaving, defeated the 'evil' Princess Twilight, and decided to travel back to Inkopolis with you to meet with our Inkling brethren. Like I said, it needs work, but it should be enough to get us in the door, and hopefully through to the High Council, where we can have a constructive discussion about the Octarians. Of course, you and your team know the truth, so—"

"So basically," Danielle interrupted, "you want me to lie to my superiors, let you infiltrate Inkopolis, and help you get direct access to the High Council."

"Yes," Twilight confirmed. "I know it's a lot to ask, but it's the only way to take fear out of the equation and discuss the problem as equals. Will you help us?"

Danielle gave Twilight a funny look. For a pony that could walk into Inkopolis and do whatever she darn well pleased, the Inkling thought, she's really insistent on doing things formally. Well, if she wants my help keeping her secret so badly, maybe I can drive a hard bargain...

"All right," Danielle declared. "I'll do it, but only on one condition: If the High Council doesn't want to make friends with the Octarians, you don't get mad, you don't get pushy, and you don't get violent. You just take it like a squid—er, like a pony—well, okay, like a dragon in Spike's case—and you leave, and you don't ever come back. Deal?"

Twilight stared at Danielle for a few moments. "You really don't trust us, do you?" The pony smiled. "Very well. I accept your terms. If we aren't able to come to an agreement after a reasonable discussion, we'll leave you in peace."

Twilight and Danielle shook hands to seal the deal. "I'm glad we could come to an understanding," Twilight said as she turned to leave. "By the way, did you see what you did there?"

"What I did?" Danielle gave Twilight a bewildered look. "You mean when I said I wouldn't go along with your plan unless you accepted my demands?"

"Exactly. You refused to compromise without an assurance that we wouldn't cause trouble for your fellow Inklings," Twilight pointed out. "That's called being a good leader. Like I said, there's more behind your being chosen for this job than 'just because.'" She turned back to Spike. "I guess we'd better see how the others feel about becoming Inklings for a while."

"Hey, I'm for anything that makes me taller," Spike said as he and Twilight left the room. "Wait, can Inklings have mustaches? What about beards? I'll have to ask Tommy..."

Danielle sighed and sat back down on her bed, unsure of what she had actually just accomplished. Sure, Twilight had agreed to walk away if things didn't work, but there was still nothing the Inklings could do if she decided to force the issue anyway. There was also the matter of explaining the deal to the rest of her team, some of which—okay, maybe just Brianna—would accuse her of selling out Inklingkind for a bogus deal that wasn't worth the imaginary paper it was printed on. While Danielle was confident she could convince Bree that this was the best that she could do given the circumstances, she was also confident that it wouldn't stop Bree from complaining loudly about it. A lot.

Danielle shuddered at the thought of facing Brianna's wrath, and she reached under her mattress and pulled out a plastic bag containing what once was a batch of lemon kelp cookies. There were only a few crumbs left now, but Danielle pulled them out and ate them anyway. It wasn't much, but right now, she needed all the help she could get.

The Ink Hand Challenge

"So let me get this straight," Brianna said pointedly as she stared across the table at Danielle. "You agreed to help the ponies infiltrate Inkopolis and meet the High Council by going along with their whole Inkling scheme?"

Danielle gulped and looked over at Tommy, who was inching himself away from the table in anticipation of a Brianna blowup. Craig was still above deck with the ponies, but Danielle imagined even he would have been a little unnerved by the tension in the room. She sighed and hung her head. "I did."

The room remained silent for a few seconds as Danielle and Tommy braced themselves for Brianna's response. "D," Brianna finally said, "that was bloody brilliant."

"I know, I know, and I'm sor—wait, what?!" Danielle snapped her head back up and looked at Brianna in shock. "What do you mean, brilliant?"

"Don't you see? They aren't ponies anymore—they're just Inklings!"

"What difference does that make?" Danielle asked. "They still want to make peace with the Octarians."

"Yeah, but remember: If it walks like a squid, and it talks like a squid..." Brianna held up her weapon. "It'll splat like one too."

"You're assuming that the ponies have actually transformed into Inklings, and not just assumed their appearance," Tommy pointed out. "If it's just a superficial disguise—"

"Well then, I guess we've got a theory to test, don't we?" Brianna stood up and put her ink tank on.

"Are you insane?!" Tommy jumped out of his seat and blocked Brianna's path. "We're ten thousand miles from the nearest respawn point! Getting splatted here would mean certain death, and if you splat one of them, they'll splat all of us!"

"Aw, come on Tommy," Brianna said with an evil grin, "I though you liked doing experiments." She shoved him out of the way. "Besides, I'm not going to splat them—I'm just gonna see how tough they are."

"Um... How exactly are you going to do that?" Danielle asked, with more than a hint of concern in her voice.

"You'll see." Brianna chuckled as she walked out of the room.

"I don't like the sound of that." Danielle quickly followed Brianna out the door, but she ran into Craig as soon as she entered the hallway.

"Hey dude, you gotta check this out," Craig said, grabbing Danielle's arm and pulling her towards the hatch. "Those pony cats look pretty fly."

"Pony cats? But... But..." Danielle looked back at Brianna as Craig dragged her away. "Uh, er... Tommy! Keep an eye on Bree, will you?"

Danielle "followed" Craig through the hatch and up onto the deck, where Twilight and the others stood waiting. The sight took Danielle's breath away: Instead of the ponies who had boarded the boat, six female Inklings now stood on the deck, each with a tentacle color that matched their original hair colors. Applejack sported a brown rodeo shirt to match her hat, Fluttershy was decked out in a winter hat and heavy yellow coat, Rainbow had opted for a blue T-shirt and aviator sunglasses, Rarity looked dashing in a red, full-length evening gown, and Pinkie wore a snorkel mask and a flowery shirt that was even louder than Craig's. "Ta da!" Twilight said. "How do we look?"

"Far out, eh?" Craig said.

Danielle didn't respond, as she was too busy staring at the green-tentacled male standing in the middle of the group. While Spike's Inkling form mostly resembled a smaller version of Tommy, the sight of his bushy mustache and full beard made Danielle's heart flutter. "W... Whoa..." she whispered.

"Uh, Danielle?" Twilight stepped up and waved her hand in front of Danielle's face. "Are you okay?"

"H-Huh? Oh, right, yes, fine!" Danielle stammered, her face turning beet red. "S-Sorry, I just kind of, er, spaced out there for a second, heh heh."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Spike, why don't you go with Craig down to the kitchen?"

"What's in the kitchen?" Spike asked.

"I put some gems in the freezer a while ago, and we don't need anypony drooling on deck," Twilight explained.

"You made me gemsicles? Aw, Twilight, you're the best!" Spike hugged Twilight. "To the kitchen, Craig!"

"Since when has Spike had a drooling problem?" Applejack said as Spike disappeared below deck.

"I wasn't talking about Spike." Twilight pointed to the strand of drool hanging from the corner of Danielle's mouth.

"Huh? Oh, geez!" Danielle wiped her mouth on her sleeve and gave Twilight a sheepish smile.

Twilight sighed. "Perhaps my improved version of number twenty-five is a little too improved."

"Oh, I'm sure it's not—" Rarity began to say.

"HOLY MOLY!" Brianna suddenly bounded up onto the deck. "Level with me, D," she said. "Who's that dude with the sick 'stache hanging with Craig, and can you introduce me?"

"...Er, perhaps it could be toned down a smidge," Rarity said.

Twilight shook her head. "So Brianna, I assume Danielle's given you the details about our plan. Are you willing to help us?"

"The plan?" Brianna stared quizzically at Twilight for a moment before her brain kicked back into gear. "Oh right, the whole 'We're Inklings!' thing. Yeah, sure, whatev, it's cool." She turned and pointed at Rainbow Dash. "Hey Rainbow, I think I've finally come up with a way to decide which one of us is the toughest."

"Oh yeah?" Rainbow replied. "What did you have in mind?"

"Follow me." Brianna waved Rainbow back over to the ship's hatch.

"Er... Maybe I ought to go with y'all," Applejack offered, shooting Danielle a concerned look as she spoke. "You know, just to keep an eye on things, and make sure everypony plays fair and square?"

"Oh, right! Maybe I'd better come too," Danielle said.

The four Inklings made their way below deck and down the hall to Danielle and Brianna's quarters. Danielle's eyes popped wide open upon spying a large pitcher of orange ink sitting on her desk. "Oh no, you're not going to make Rainbow do the—"

"That's right!" Brianna declared with a smile. "Rainbow Dash, I dare you to complete the Ink Hand Challenge!"

"Bring it on!" Rainbow shouted. "...What's the Ink Hand challenge?"

"Only the toughest, most painful challenge in the history of Inkingkind!" Brianna said. "It's all the rage online."

"On line?" Rainbow tilted her head to the side. "On what line?"

"No, I mean on the Inter—you know what, never mind." Brianna smacked her forehead in exasperation. "Here's how it works: You remember how Tommy said that Inklings dissolve in ink of a different color?"

"Yeah, so?"

"Well," Brianna continued, "the Ink Hand Challenge is when you stick your hand in a pitcher of different-colored ink, and see how long you can stand the pain and keep your hand submerged. My record is twenty-five seconds, and—"

"And your hand was nothing but a palm when you pulled it out," Danielle reminded her friend. "You had to write with your left hand for two days while your fingers regenerated, remember?"

"They came back eventually!" Brianna insisted. "Besides, it's still my most popular SquidTube video."

"I don't know, sugarcube," Applejack said. "This here challenge doesn't sound real safe."

"Pfft." Brianna dismissed Applejack's concern with a wave of her hand. "It'll be no problem, if Rainbow Dash is really as tough as she says she is." She turned back to Rainbow Dash. "So, are you in, or are you too chicken?"

"Are you kidding?" Rainbow smiled smugly. "Fingers are for the weak anyway! I'll bet I could leave my hoof—er, my hand in that stuff all day!"

"Good." Brianna smiled, picked up the pitcher, and held it out towards Rainbow Dash. "Prove it."

Danielle gulped and covered her eyes as Rainbow reached for the pitcher. "Tell me when it's over," she whispered to Applejack.

"Hey Danielle!" Pinkie Pie suddenly burst in the room. "Twilight says I need to ask you if I can use the—" She stopped as she spotted the pitcher in Brianna's hand. "Ooh, orange juice! What a great idea! I was just thinking to myself, 'Pinkie, flying is really thirsty work, and a glass of juice would be really great right now!'"

"What the—wait! Don't drink—" Brianna could only watch in horror as Pinkie snatched away the pitcher and chugged the entire thing in a single swig.

"Wait, drink?!" Danielle uncovered her eyes just as Pinkie downed the last of the ink.

"Ahhhhhhh..." Pinkie sighed. "That really hit the spot! But you should probably check the expiration date on your juice—those oranges tasted a little out-of-season."

"Pinkie!" Rainbow chided her friend. "That was for my challenge!"

"Forget the challenge!" Brianna raced over and grabbed Danielle by the shoulders. "Get the first aid kit! We need an antidote!"

"We don't have an antidote for drinking ink!" Danielle shouted back.

Applejack scrunched up her face as she watched the two panicking Inklings. "This ain't goin' to end well, is it?"

"W-W-We're about to find out," Danielle whimpered.

Pinkie's stomach suddenly let out a loud, bubbling growl. "Ugh..." Pinkie moaned. "I think I'm getting heartburn..."

"She's gonna blow!" Brianna grabbed Rainbow Dash and Applejack and dragged them out of the room. "Fire in the hole!"

Paralyzed by shock, Danielle could only stand and watch in horror as Pinkie's cheeks bulged out. "Oh crab," was all she could say.

BUUURRRRRP! Pinkie belched a fireball across the room, blasting a five-foot hole in the hull of the ship and reducing Danielle's bed to a pile of ashes. Danielle closed her eyes, covered her face, and waited for the inevitable Inkling death wail, but after several seconds of silence, she opened her eyes to see Pinkie standing around as if nothing had happened.

"Wowwee wow wow!" Pinkie exclaimed, flashing a goofy smile. "That's-a spicy meat-a-ball!"

"Uh... Are we dead?" Danielle looked around the room for a moment. This isn't what I expected heaven to look like, she thought. It might be that other place, though...

"Dead? Gosh, I'm not sure!" Pinkie started pressing on various parts of her arms and legs. "Oh no," she exclaimed, "I can't find a pulse! ...Where do I find a pulse on an Inkling, anyway?"

"Darn it, D!" A distraught Brianna came bursting back through the door. "If I'd have known you were going to stand there like an idiot, I'd have grabbed—wait, you're still alive?"

"We are? Oh, thank goodness!" Pinkie wiped her brow and let out a sigh of relief. "I really didn't want to be dead. Being dead just seems so boring!"

Brianna's jaw hit the floor. "You drank an entire pitcher of different-colored ink, and you're still alive!?"

"Yep!" Pinkie replied. "My tummy's still a little grumbly, though. You don't happen to have any antacids lying around, do you?"

Brianna looked at Pinkie as if she had two heads. "Uh, yeah, sure. There's a bottle of Gas-B-Gone in the cupboard above the fridge in the kitchen, although someone might have drank it for lunch on the ride to Ponyland."

"Great! Thanks!" Pinkie bounced out of the room humming a happy tune.

Danielle shook her head, and turned to face what was left of her bed. "Great," she muttered. "Your experiments are no better than your Inkstrikes: You give a pony heartburn, I get to sleep on the floor. Are you satisfied?" She looked out the door and down the hallway. "Where's Tommy, anyway? Wasn't he supposed to be making sure you didn't do something like this?"

"Yeah... He was being kind of a pest about the challenge, so I kind of locked him in the engine room," Brianna admitted.

"Oh, Bree!" Danielle smacked her forehead with her hand, and ran out of the room.

Brianna scratched her head as she looked around the room. "I just don't know what went wrong."

Luckily, the Inklings discovered that traveling with a powerful alicorn had its advantages, and in no time at all, the hull was patched and Pinkie's stomach was settled.

After hearing of Brianna's failed attempt to test the ponies' mortality, Tommy decided on a radical plan to uncover the truth: He asked Twilight about the transformations. It turned out that yes, the ponies were really Inklings, but no, nothing logical or scientific ever really applied to Pinkie Pie. Brianna grumbled something about selling Hammerhead Bridge to Tommy if he bought Twilight's line, but Danielle's pleadings and a new, magically-conjured bunk bed pacified Brianna for the rest of the day.

After a hearty dinner and a brief sunset-viewing party, Twilight and the rest of her team retreated to a spare storage room to come up with a suitable story for the Inkopolis High Council. "Okay girls," Twilight said, "how can we convince the others that these Octolings are good, honest creatures?"

"That should be easy," Fluttershy replied. "If we stress how nice and pleasant these Octolings are, I'm sure the Inklings will come around."

"Except we can't even make the Inklings we know come around, never mind the ones we don't know," Twilight pointed out.

"Maybe we can show our Inkling friends how similar they are to these Octolings," Rarity offered. "After all, how can you hate something that's exactly like you?"

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "Sure, Rarity. Let's tell these foals how they're basically the same as the foals they hate. That will go over well."

"Maybe they helped us escape from the ponies!" Pinkie said. "Maybe they're actually super-incredible defenders of justice in Equestria, and can move mountains and fly over clouds and cast psychedelic spells!"

"In other words, make them sound like us," Twilight translated. "The Inklings are on edge enough about ponies; I doubt they'd like to hear that Octolings from Equestria are just as powerful."

"I don't know," Applejack admitted. "It's awful hard to defend the honor of somethin' we ain't even met yet."

A lightbulb appeared over Twilight's head. "That's it!" she proclaimed. "Applejack, you're a genius!"

Applejack gave Twilight a puzzled look. "I am?"

"Yes!" Twilight insisted. "Danielle mentioned that she had never actually met an Octoling before, and her critique of them was very superficial. What if this is true for most Inklings?"

"Oh my," Fluttershy gasped. "You mean all these Inklings might hate something they've never actually met?"

Twilight nodded. "Exactly. If my hypothesis is correct, we may just be up against a case of willful ignorance, rather than an all-out land war. This entire feud may well be built on fears and misinformation."

"Well, there's a surefire cure for that attitude!" Applejack declared. "All we gotta do is round up a few of those Octolings, have a good ol'-fashioned meet and greet, and show these here Inklings that their enemies ain't nearly as enemy-like as they think."

"It's easier said than done," Twilight cautioned, "but it does give us a battle plan going forward. We'll claim to be Equestrian Inklings, say that we have fruitful relations with Octolings back home, and ask about establishing diplomatic relationships with both groups. That should give us the excuse to bring together leaders from both sides, and thus give us a chance to show them that they can live together in harmony."

"Maybe we need more than their leaders," Rarity offered. "Remember the old Hearth's Warming story about how the pony races came together? It was the underlings who made that happen, not their superiors."

"Good point," Twilight agreed, "and we may already have the underlings we need on board. Craig's already open to the idea, Tommy seems rational enough to understand our logic, and I think we could even sway Danielle with the right argument. Brianna will be a tough nut to crack, though."

"This is great and all," Spike interrupted, "but... What if these Octo-things aren't as cool as we think they are? I mean, that old Hearth's Warming story was forever ago—this fight sounds a lot more fresh."

"Tommy mentioned a 'Great Turf War' that originally divided the groups," Twilight recalled, "but he didn't mention anything about recent fighting. Besides, we walked into an all-out brawl in Appaloosa and came away with an agreement, didn't we?"

The discussion was suddenly disrupted by a knock at the door. "Come in!" Twilight shouted.

The door opened, and Tommy poked his head into the room. "Uh, Twilight? Could I—"

"Excellent timing!" Twilight said. "Please come in—we have some questions for you."

"Oh. Er..." Tommy hesitated. "I was, uh, actually hoping to speak with you privately."

"Oh?" Twilight shrugged. "Sure, if you want. Spike, girls: Can you leave us alone for a moment?"

One by one, the fake Inklings streamed out of the room, leaving Twilight alone with Tommy. "So what do you want to talk about?" Twilight asked.

"Well... Um..." Tommy's face began to turn red. "Y-You know how you g-gave Spike a m-m-mustache as part of—"

"Oh dear, is this about dinner?" Twilight shook her head. "I am so sorry about that. I've never see creatures react to a mustache like that before! Don't worry, it won't happen again—Spike asked me to remove it right after we left the table. He was really creeped out by the way Danielle and Brianna practically sat on top of him at the table, and kept asking him if he needed more this or more that... I imagine it was just as awkward to watch."

"Er... Yes. Awkward."

Twilight sighed. "I'll need to tweak that spell a bit more before I try it again. Anyway, was that all you wanted to talk about?"

"Well, um... Actually..." Tommy stammered, "I was w-wondering if... If I c-could... I could get..."

"Yes?"

A drop of blood began to drip out of Tommy's nose, but he quickly wiped it away with his sleeve. "Y-You know what, n-never mind. Forget I said anything."

"Okay..." Twilight eyed Tommy suspiciously, but decided not to pursue the issue. "Now for my question: In your estimation, how many Inklings have ever actually come into contact with an Octoling?"

"Come into contact?" Tommy scratched his head as he pondered the question. "That depends on what you mean by 'contact.' I mean, everyone knows what an Octoling looks like, everyone's read about Octolings in school, everyone's seen them on TV or in movies... But if you mean how many Inklings have come face-to-face with them? ...Very few, I'd guess. Octolings rarely come into town, and only authorized military personnel are allowed into Octo Valley."

"Danielle mentioned that Brianna has met one before," Twilight said. "How did it happen?"

"I'm not sure," Tommy said with a shrug. "The army regularly patrols the Octo Valley border, though. Junior Ink Battlers aren't normally allowed on patrols, but given Brianna's standing in the JIB, she's probably gotten to join a few."

"Her standing is that good?"

"Honestly, my brother is the Ink Battle expert of the family, not me," Tommy admitted. "But he says Brianna is the best battler to come out of Inkopolis in the past twenty years, and after she spent two months wiping the floor with me during basic training, it was hard to argue with him."

"Hmm..." Twilight scratched her chin as she processed Tommy's answer: "I'm curious: If Brianna is really that good, why is Danielle the leader of your team, and not her?"

"Well... Let's just say the army appreciates Brianna's talent, but not her attitude towards authority," Tommy replied. "She will listen to Danielle, though, so they probably made her the leader to keep Brianna under control. Given that Danielle is probably the only reason Craig and I are still alive, I fully support their decision."

"I think they chose wisely," Twilight agreed. "One last question, Tommy: Danielle said you were a scientist, not a soldier, so... Why are you on this mission?"

"W-Why am I here?" Tommy started to blush again. "Well, uh, for science, of course! I mean, this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to find distant lands and catalog new species, and as luck would have it, we found all of you! So, uh, that's why I decided to join this mission."

Twilight wasn't sure she bought Tommy's story, but she decided not the press the matter. "Thank you, Tommy. You've been very helpful."

Tommy turned and exited the room, and the rest of Twilight's party re-entered. "I hope everything's all right," Rarity said. "Tommy looked a bit sad as he was leaving."

"I think what happened at dinner may still be weighing on him," Twilight replied. "Anyway, it sounds like our assumptions about Octoling contact are correct, so we just might have a chance to bring everypony together and change some hearts and minds." She yawned. "It's getting late. We'd better get some rest, because we've got some big days coming up."

They All Look The Same To Me

Day two of the ponies' trip to Inkopolis was much less eventful than the day before. With the balloon requiring minimal supervision and Brianna fully convinced that messing with the ponies was a bad idea, the ship's passengers were left with nothing to do but swap stories and watch clouds pass. The ponies regaled the Inklings with stories of their exploits against dragons and draconequuses and shapeshifting armies, making the Inklings' tales of Ink Battle glory seem bland and boring in comparison.

"You mean you fought a magic-draining goat thing who stood taller than your castle, and you beat him?" Danielle exclaimed in amazement.

Twilight nodded. "With the power of friendship and a little help from the Tree of Harmony, we defeated Tirek and sent him back to Tartarus where he belonged."

Danielle sighed. "I guess that kind of makes my three vs. four win back at the skatepark sound pretty lame, huh?"

"Pfft," Brianna remarked. "That didn't sound that impressive. I'll bet we'd have taken that thing down in half the time."

"Oh really?" Rainbow Dash shot Brianna a cynical look. "And just how would you have done that?"

"Simple," Brianna declared. "Distract him with a few Ink Mines, soften him up with our shooters, and them bam!" Brianna pounded her fist into her other hand. "Drop an Inkstrike on his sorry butt to finish him off. Easy-peasy."

"I think you're vastly underestimating the strength of this Tirek creature," Tommy countered. "With the magical powers of four alicorn ponies, I don't think—"

"Of course you would say that," Brianna snorted. "If I was as lousy a battler as you, I would think that beating that goat was impossible too."

Tommy shook his head and opened his mouth to reply, but Twilight stopped him. "I've got a question for you, Brianna," she said. "Tommy says that most Inklings have never met an Octarian face-to-face, but Danielle mentioned that you have. What can you tell us about them?"

Brianna shrugged. "What's there to say? Octarians are a lot like ponies: They're weird-looking, single-minded, and above all, thick as concrete. But..." She stood up from her chair, leaned across the table, and stared into Twilight's eyes. "There's one major difference," she stated coldly. "Octarians are bloodthirsty monsters who would as soon splat you as look at you. They don't give two seashells about friendship."

Applejack rolled her eyes. "Neither do some Inklings we've met," she pointed out.

"Tell me more," Twilight continued. "How did you encounter them? What was it like?"

"So you want that story, huh?" Brianna sighed and sat back down. "Technically, what I'm about to tell you is classified information, and I'll deny the whole thing if anyone asks later, but I think it's in everyone's—sorry, everypony's best interest to know exactly who they're dealing with." She leaned back and put her hands behind her head. "It happened just last summer. I'd been tearing it up as a JIB for almost two years, and the big brass had finally let me go out on patrol..."

"Hey, Captain Carpface!" A dirt-covered Brianna kicked open the captain's tent flap. "I want to lodge a complaint!"

The captain looked up from behind his desk. "You have something to say, plankton?"

"You're darn right I do!" Brianna took the shovel she was carrying and flung it at the captain, who didn't flinch as it whizzed by his head. "I am sick of peeling potatoes and digging ditches! I came out here to teach some Octarians a lesson, not do your company's dirty work!"

"Is that so?" The captain leaned across his desk. "As a matter of fact, it just so happens that we've got a very important job for you."

Brianna rolled her eyes. "Let me guess: It's laundry day."

The captain chuckled. "Come with me, plankton."

The captain led Brianna out of his tent and over to the edge of camp, where a large pile of boxes had been stacked nearly fifteen feet high. "You see these boxes, plankton?" the captain asked.

"Yeah," Brianna remarked as she looked at the drawings of fruits and vegetables on the boxes. "You've got enough food here to feed the whole freaking city of Inkopolis."

"Oh, it's not food," the captain revealed, his lips beginning to curl into a smile. "You see, these labels are just a disguise for the actual content. What's really in those boxes is..." The captain leaned over and whispered into Brianna's ear. "Weapons."

"Weapons?" Brianna gave the captain a bemused look. "What, were you afraid we'd run out of Splattershots or something?"

The captain shook his head. "These are special weapons," he continued. "Inkzookas, Killer Wails, Krakens... Even Inkstrikes."

"That whole stack is special weapons!?" Brianna's eyes widened. "Holy crab, how many Octarians did you think we'd see on this patrol?"

"When you're dealing with Octarians, plankton," the captain declared, "there is no such thing as too many weapons." He slapped Brianna on the back and pointed to a high ridge in the distance. "Here's the scoop: We're going to scout that ridge today, and we're going to need the whole company to do it."

"Really?" Brianna raised her hands to the sky. "Finally! I'm going to—"

"You're not part of the company, plankton," the captain reminded Brianna. "Your job is to stay behind and guard our camp against enemy intrusions." He patted a box labeled 'APPLES.' "Octarians are scavenging thieves, and they'll swipe these boxes no matter what they think is inside. I'm sure you can imagine what might happen if they got their slimy tentacles on these weapons."

Brianna flinched as the image of a line of Inkzooka-carrying Octolings flashed through her mind. "Yes, sir."

"This is a very important job, plankton," the captain said. "Believe me, if I could a spare a real soldier to do this, I would, but I can't." He knelt down and looked Brianna in the eye. "Can we count on you to defend our camp and keep these deadly weapons out of enemy hands?"

Brianna grinned evilly. "They won't get a tentacle inside the perimeter, sir."

"You mean they left you to defend the entire camp by yourself?" Danielle reached down to pick her jaw up off the floor. "Wow! That's... That's..."

"Incredible! Daring! Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!" Pinkie offered.

"'Fishy' would be my word," Tommy said. "They took enough weaponry to start another Great Turf War out on patrol, and then left a single Junior Ink Battler to guard it while the entire company leaves camp?" He scrunched up his face. "Something doesn't add up here."

Brianna glared at Tommy. "If you haven't noticed, Four-Eyes, I'm a heck of a lot better than the average—or in your case, below-average—JIB scrub. I could outrun, outshoot, and outmaneuver half of the 'real' soldiers in that patrol!"

"I'm sure Brianna was fully capable of defending the camp by herself," Twilight interrupted. "Perhaps it will make more sense once we here the whole story. You were saying, Brianna?"

"Well, eventually the company moved out and left me alone at the camp," Brianna explained. "The first few hours were pretty quiet, but I remained vigilant..."

"ZZZZZZZZZ..." Brianna snored as she slept in the captain's chair, her feet up on the desk, and fought an imaginary Octarian army in her dreams. "Is that... All you've got?" she whispered between snores. "I've had... Substitute teachers... Who are... Scarier than you..."

CRASH! The sound of wooden crates smashing on the ground startled Brianna, and she fell over backwards in her chair. "What the heck was that?" She grabbed her weapon and raced out of the tent. "Gyah!" she screamed as she saw the telltale trail of dark-purple ink that went right by the front of the tent. "Crab, they're already here!"

Brianna quickly laid down a path of blue ink and raced over to where the weapons were stored. Her jaw dropped as she discovered that the carefully-stacked pyramid had been knocked over, and the boxes were now strewn all over the ground. "Son of a seahorse!" Brianna cursed. "The captain's gonna have my head when he sees—"

A slight motion at the center of the mess made Brianna freeze, and she pointed her gun at a small pile of overturned boxes. "All right, you!" she shouted. "We've got you covered! Come out of there, nice and slow!"

The boxes began to shake again, and a few small ripples appeared in the trail of purple ink that led to the pile. As Brianna trained her weapon on the ripples, a strange humanoid creature suddenly stood up from the ink and took a couple of shaky steps forward while holding its head in its hands.

Brianna immediately recognized the creature from the stupid training films they had shown her at the JIB. The plethora of head tentacles, the Inkling-esque body, the metallic-yet-skimpy body armor, the large goggles... This thing was definitely an Octoling. She judged the creature to be a young female, perhaps even the same age as Brianna herself, and gaging from its movements, it had gotten knocked for a loop by the avalanche of boxes. "Freeze!" Brianna shouted. "Put your hands up!"

The sight of Brianna—more specifically, of Brianna's gun—made the Octoling jump back, and it immediately put up its hands and started speaking rapidly to Brianna in its native tongue. Great, Brianna thought to herself. Apparently I should have signed up for those dumb Octolese classes at school after all.

Brianna suddenly noticed that one of the Octoling's hands was not empty. "What's in your hand?" the Inkling demanded, taking an aggressive step forward as she spoke. "Drop it right now!"

The Octoling responded with a stream of faster, higher-pitched gibberish, but did not comply. "Ugh," Brianna grumbled. "I said drop what's in your hand! YOUR HAND! Your... You know, this thing!" She pointed her gun at her own hand to demonstrate.

The Octoling stopped, looked at its hand, and finally dropped what it was holding. "Now kick it over here!" Brianna continued, miming a kicking motion. The Octoling copied this motion, but didn't kick the item. "Argh! No, kick that over here, you idiot!" Brianna shouted, pointing to communicate her wishes.

Eventually, the Octoling got the message and booted the item over to Brianna, giving the Inkling a good look as the ink-and-dirt-covered object. "Is that... Cauliflower?" Brianna gagged, and booted the vegetable back over to the Octoling. "Yuck! You can keep that."

The Octoling dropped to its knees, clasped its hands together, and continued blubbering nonsense at Brianna, bringing the Inkling back to the question at hand: Now what? The boxes were toppled, but nothing appeared to be missing or damaged. The Octoling did not appear to be armed, and certainly wasn't putting up a struggle, so... What should she do with it?

Splat that stale sucker! a voice in Brianna's head shouted. Make an example of it, and let those Octojerks know just who they're messing with!

Consider the bigger picture, a second voice chimed in. Sure, splatting this thing would be satisfying, but what if has information about other Octarians in the area? A simple capture like this could clear this entire area of Octoling scum!

The latter argument appealed to Brianna, and she decided to take the Octoling hostage for now. "All right you, march!" she ordered, gesturing towards the center of camp.

The Octoling gulped and complied with the request, slowly walking across the camp with Brianna right behind her. "Now... Where the heck am I gonna put you?" Brianna asked. "I know! I'll tie you up in the captain's chair! Gosh, the look on his face when he sees you will be—"

Brianna froze as she caught a glimpse of a sniper's laser sight aiming just over her left shoulder, and she dove to the ground just before she heard the crack of the rifle. She quickly rolled over and looked back to see a new trail of purple ink that ended right where she had been standing.

Right on cue, four Octolings burst into the open, each one carrying a Splattershot-like weapon rather than a cauliflower. "It's an ambush!" Brianna screamed, and she raised her weapon and began unloading her ink tank in the direction of the invaders.

Brianna and the Octolings traded fire for several tense seconds before the Octolings stopped and took cover behind a nearby tent. "Okay," Brianna wheezed to herself, her pulse racing and her gun still raised. "You're okay, Bree. There's just a few of them, and they shoot like C-rankers, so just keep them pinned down and back away—Yah!" She yelped as a red dot appeared on her forehead, and leaped out of the way just before another sniper fired.

Brianna quickly rose to her feet and scurried behind another tent. "Okay," she tried again. "They've just got a few snipers backing them up. You can run, swim, and shoot circles around every last one of these things, so just—"

Suddenly, Brianna felt a shot strike her square in the back, and sharp waves of pain began radiating through her body. She bit her lip to keep from screaming, and turned to see five more Octolings charging towards her from the rear, accompanied by several fat, barely-evolved Octobombers hovering around with bizarre propeller helmets. Her eyes nearly popped out of her head as she noted the kelp braided into the head tentacles of two of the charging Octolings, branding them as some of the top soldiers in the Octarian army. Brianna gulped as the severity of the situation dawned on her: This was a real fight, and she was in real trouble.

"Gotta get out, gotta get out, gotta get out..." Brianna began repeating to herself, and she aimed in an Octarian-free direction and created a small path of blue ink that she could use to escape. Her weapon's range was limited, however, and she could only swim a short distance before popping back out of the ink and extending her escape route while dodging enemy fire.

A minute and a half of frantic movement led Brianna back to the toppled tower of boxes, and she took cover underneath the haphazard pile. The spot wasn't perfect, and she knew her ink trail would lead them right to her, but it was the best she could do on short notice, and she figured anything coming after her would have to get through her gun first.

She pressed her back against one of the boxes, took a deep breath, and tried to come up with an exit strategy. Getting splatted wasn't usually the end of the world, but that was because she usually had a respawn point around to bail her out when it happened. How far back was the last point we passed? she wondered. Maybe six miles? Eight? That thing looked really old—it'll never work for a splat this far away! Even if there was a closer point to collect her post-splat Brianna bits, it was likely under Octarian control and tuned to their particular shade of purple, and thus would ignore her non-purple remains.

If the patrol's still close, maybe I can super-jump out of here, she thought. She reached into her pocket for her phone and its "map app" to locate nearby teammates, but discovered her pockets were empty, and she cursed herself as she recalled setting the phone down on the captain's table before she napped.

Brianna swallowed hard and looked down at the special gage on her weapon. Her special weapon was charged, but it wouldn't be enough to keep a force this size at bay. Then again, she thought, maybe a whole tower-full of specials might... She quickly turned and pried open the box nearest to her, but found that the 'ORANGES' label on this particular box wasn't lying. "Just my luck," Brianna grumbled as she reached for another box. "A smorgasbord of artillery, and I'm stuck hiding in the decoy boxes."

And then she heard it: The familiar clank of a Splat Bomb as it fell through a small hole between the boxes above her and landed on the ground. As she turned to look, the bomb began flashing and—

"STOP!" Fluttershy squealed, her face buried in Rarity's coat and her hooves in her ears. "Please! I don't want to hear any more!"

"M-m-me neither," Danielle admitted, grabbing the table to keep her hands from shaking.

"That's cool," Brianna said with a shrug. "There was only one word left in the story anyway: Boom."

"But you must have gotten out of that fix somehow," Rarity pointed out. "How else would you be here to tell this story?"

"I got lucky," Brianna said. "The company had taken control of a respawn point just a half-mile outside of camp. When I showed up at their feet and told them what happened, the captain said he'd seen that trick a thousand times: One Octoling goes in as a decoy, the rest converge once they figure they've got an opening, and not an Inkling is left standing. He decided to retaliate by going back and carpet-bombing the whole camp with Inkstrikes." Brianna chuckled. "Boy, you should have seen those Octosuckers scatter when those missiles started falling! I'll be we sent thirty or forty of those jerks back home the hard way."

Twilight's expression didn't change. "So... That's your experience with Octarians?"

"Yep." Brianna confirmed. "I found out firsthand how little Octarians think about others, and managed to live to tell the tale. You'll find out too, if you're dumb enough to engage them."

"Maybe," Twilight offered. "But I have one last question for you: If the roles were reversed, and an Octarian was holding, say, Danielle hostage, would you have left any of them standing?"

"Of course not," Brianna spat. "Why?"

"Just checking." Twilight gave Applejack a knowing wink.

"I've got a question," Rainbow Dash interrupted. "What's that big tall thing out there by that cloud?"

"Huh?" The Inklings turned around and looked at the horizon behind them. "Which cloud?" Brianna asked. "There are, like, twenty of them of them out there, and they all look the same to me."

Rainbow rolled her eyes. "The second stratus right of the sun! There's some tall green pointy thingy sticking through it."

Tommy grabbed his gun and aimed it at the cloud in question, but Danielle snatched the gun away and pressed the scope to her face. "That's... That's Inkopolis Tower!" she finally shouted, a big smile appearing on her face. "We did it, guys! We're home! YAHOO!" Danielle dropped the gun, grabbed Tommy, and began swinging him around in celebration.

"Sweet, dude," Craig offered, calmly ducking intermittently as Danielle swung Tommy over his head. "I knew we'd make it."

Brianna picked up Tommy's rifle and examined the sight for herself. "Well, well... So we did." She smirked at Twilight. "I guess we're about to find out which one of us is right, eh?"

Twilight smiled. "I'm looking forward to it."

R-R-Redeployment?!

"So that there's Inkopolis, huh?" Applejack whistled in amazement at she stared at the the city's tall buildings and tangled web of highways. "Well, butter me up and call me a fritter! This place might be bigger than Manehattan."

"Really?" Rarity's ears perked up. "I wonder how many proper cultural centers this city has. Tell me, Danielle, what does Inkopolis have in the way of, say, museums?"

"Oh, we've got a great museum!" Danielle replied. "It's got this big open space in the center that's just perfect for ink battles."

"Ink battles?" Rarity recoiled in horror. "You mean you fling ink around recklessly in the presence of fine art?!"

"Wait... They have art in that museum?" Danielle gave Brianna a confused look.

"Sure they do," Brianna replied. "You know that big Inkling statue we always climb to set up ambushes?"

"Oh yeah!" Danielle recalled. "I never noticed that was an Inkling."

Rarity's mouth fell open. "And they call the Octarians savages?" she whispered to Twilight.

Twilight chuckled. "Danielle, you'd better contact your commander one more time," she advised. "Ask them where they'd like us to land, and, well, make sure they're preparing to greet us and not kill us."

"Good idea," Danielle agreed. "Craig, come with me—I need someone to power the radio."

"I can do that!" Tommy volunteered, bouncing up from his chair. "Craig looks too relaxed—I'd hate to harsh his mellow or anything."

Brianna rolled her eyes. "You got enough strength in those toothpicks of yours to turn the crank?" she asked pointedly.

Tommy sighed but decided not to respond, and silently followed Danielle down into the hatch. "That wasn't very nice," Twilight observed. "He was only trying to help."

"Yeah, he's a big help around here," Brianna grumbled.

"What've you got against Tommy anyhow?" Applejack inquired. "He seems like a nice enough feller."

"You mean, besides the fact that he's a pencil-necked pansy who doesn't know one end of his gun from the other?" Brianna turned her head and spit over the side of the boat. "Nothing."

"Surely he can't be as incompetent as you say," Rarity argued. "A military organization such as yours must have stringent standards for its members."

"You would think," Brianna replied. "Unfortunately, the big brass were so desperate to find more land that they dug deep into the JIB ranks to fill out all their search teams, which means I get stuck with scrubs like Tommy-come-lately and this bozo here." She jerked a thumb towards Craig, who was lost in whatever was playing in his headphones and wasn't paying attention.

"So Tommy hasn't been a soldier very long," Twilight surmised.

"He hasn't been much of anything very long," Brianna said. "He just started showing up for ink battles about eight months ago, trying to be a charger user just like his twin brother Trevor. Unlike Tommy, though, Trev's been battling as long as I have, and and can actually hit someone once in a while. Tommy's aim is so bad that when Scooty-Fruity shot me in the face—"

"Scootaloo," Twilight corrected Brianna.

"Whatever. Anyway, that was the first squid I'd seen that gun hit since... Well, since Trevor was using it." Brianna folded her arms and looked over the side of the boat at the buildings below. "If he really wanted to help," she concluded, "he'd be holed up in some science lab designing new weapons or something, but no, he's out here where I have to babysit him."

"Why is he out here?" Twilight asked. "He claims he's here to study new cultures and—"

"Oh, he wants to study something, all right." Brianna turned back and glared in the direction of the ship's hatch. "And as long as I'm around, studying is all he'd better do."

"I see." Twilight looked over at Craig. "And what's your problem with—"

"Him?" Brianna turned her glare on Craig. "Well, just look at him! He smells like a dumpster, he dresses like a flower shop, and above all, he doesn't have enough brains to even know where he is half the time, and even when he does, he doesn't seem to care!" She reached over and lifted one side of Craig's headphones off of his ear. "Hey, Magnum P.U.!"

Craig calmly turned his head to Brianna. "What's the good word, bro?"

Brianna pointed at Fluttershy. "That pony just said that yo momma is so fat, the post office assigned her her own zip code!"

"Eep!" Fluttershy's face turned red. "Oh no, I didn't say anything like—"

Craig shrugged. "My great-great-grandfather was a pufferfish," he explained, patting his belly. "All the cats on that side of the family look a little large, especially after we eat."

"You see?!" Brianna threw up her hands as Craig put his headphones back on. "No reaction, no fire, nothing!"

"No filter, no tact, nothin'," Applejack whispered to Rarity in response, drawing a small, dainty giggle from the unicorn.

The conversation ended when Danielle reappeared on deck. "So far, so good," she reported. "The High Council put together a full diplomatic welcome for 'our esteemed Inkling sisters who cast off the yoke of pony oppression,' so we'll need to put the boat down in the harbor to meet it."

"Not a problem," Twilight said with a smile.

"Oh, and one other thing," Danielle continued. "Since Twilight Sparkle is an evil pony princess, I, uh, had to think of a new name for you, so... I hope you're okay with being 'Dusk Shine' for a while."

Twilight sighed. "I guess I'll have to be."

"Good." Danielle pointed off to the west. "The harbor's on the far side of town, so if you could steer the boat over that way..."

Once the harbor came into view, the boat's designated landing spot became fairly obvious to spot. The High Council had literally rolled out the red carpet all the way to Dock #41 for their visitors, and the welcoming party included a full color guard, a twenty-piece brass band, and several companies of soldiers in full military dress lining each side of the carpet. "Those aren't JIBs, either," Brianna pointed out. "Those are, like, real battle-tested splatoons waiting for us."

"Land sakes," Applejack remarked. "We don't get this kind of reception anywhere in Equestria."

"Well, we haven't had an official foreign diplomat visit since before the Great Turf Wars," Tommy pointed out. "That, combined with the fact—well, the appearance of fact—that you six are the first non-continental Inklings ever discovered, makes this a pretty big deal."

"Well, let's not keep these guys in suspense any longer!" Rainbow said. "Put 'er down, Pinkie!"

"...Er, but gently, if you could," Fluttershy added.

"Okey dokie lokie!" Pinkie smiled, pulled out a giant pair of scissors, and raced around the boat cutting the ropes that connected the boat and balloon.

"What are you—aaaaahhhhhhh!" everyone screamed as the boat plummeted back to earth, hitting the water with a splash and sending a huge wave up onto shore that soaked—and splatted—the color guard and half the woodwind section of the band. As the other Inklings on shore gasped and scattered, Pinkie cartwheeled across the deck, flipped over the side of the boat, and stuck a perfect landing on the dock. "Inkopowopodopolis, we have landed!" she proclaimed with a big smile.

"Nice job, Pinkie," Applejack muttered sarcastically as the Inklings on shore stared wide-eyed and slack-jawed at Pinkie. "That ought to make us a good first impression."

After a few awkward moments of staring, a female Inkling with faded blue head tentacles finally stepped onto the dock and approached the boat. "Princess Shine?" the Inkling asked Pinkie. "I'm Petunia Porgy, head of the Inkopolis High Council's newly-formed Committee on International Relations, and on behalf of our fair city—"

"Princess Shine?" Pinkie cocked her head to the side. "We don't have a Princess Shine, silly! But we do have a Princess Twi—"

"Pinkie!" Twilight rushed onto the dock and pushed in front of Pinkie. "I'm Princess Shine," Twilight said. "Pleased to make your acquaintance, Mrs. Porgy."

"Um... It's... Very nice to meet you too, miss," Petunia stammered. She smiled awkwardly and shot a confused look back at a few of the Inklings on shore, who just shrugged in response.

Oh, right. She has no idea what we're saying, Twilight deduced. "Er... Danielle?" she called back to the boat. "Would you mind translating our introductions for the others?"

"I can do that." Danielle hopped off the boat and pushed past both Pinkie and Twilight. "Councilwoman Porgy, this is Princess Dusk Shine of Equestria, and this is her, well, eccentric friend Pinkie Pie," Danielle explained. "They're both happy to meet you, and..." She cast a glance at the splatted remains of the color guard. "They're sorry about the rough landing."

Petunia stared quizzically at Danielle. "And you are...?"

"Me? Um, I'm Danielle, the, uh, splatoon leader for this mission."

"I see." The councilwoman's smile faded. "Be a dear and tell the princess and her envoy—there are seven of them, correct?—to follow me back inside for a few photo ops and an introductory press conference. You and your team can wait here by the boat for further instructions."

"Wait by the boat!?" Danielle exclaimed. "But—"

"Oh no you don't!" Brianna shoved her way to the front of the line, knocking Pinkie into the water in the process. "I am not letting these 'Inklings' out of my sight for one second!" she declared, wagging her finger in Petunia's face. "These are dangerous individuals, and they require a military escort at all times, for both their safety and ours!"

"Miss McBream!" Petunia pointed at where Pinkie had landed in the water. "Thanks to your usual tact and considerateness, you have already splatted one of our visitors and strained our relations with—"

"She'll be fine," Brianna interrupted. "At this point, I'd be more surprised if she wasn't waterproof than if she was."

Right on cue, Pinkie leaped up out of the water like a dolphin and belly-flopped onto the dock. "Wheeeeee!" she squealed. "That was fun!"

Petunia sighed. "When this is over, I will have a word with your commanding officer about your attitude," she growled at Brianna. "Now Miss Diane, please tell—"

"It's Danielle, ma'am."

"Whatever. Please instruct our visitors to follow me on shore." Petunia smiled at Twilight. "Don't worry, princess, you and your envoy are in good hands!"

Twilight didn't return the councilwoman's smile. "Tell Mrs. Porgy that we've grown quite comfortable with you four as our translators," she told Danielle, "and that we'd like to keep you around for the duration of our visit. Fluttershy, you're the only one who can converse with the Inklings, so just keep quiet for now."

"Okay," Fluttershy agreed. "Keeping quiet is what I do best."

Danielle cleared her throat and looked Petunia in the eye. "With all due respect, Councilwoman, the princess says that she would prefer that we stay with her to act as official translators. We're the only Inklings who can communicate with Princess Shine and her friends, so—"

"General Guppy has several excellent translators on his staff," Petunia proclaimed. "I'm confident this language barrier will not be an issue."

"But they're our guests," Danielle countered. "Shouldn't we be, like, honoring their wishes or something?"

Petunia chuckled. "They just don't know any better," she replied. "Once they see how much more comfortable they are in the hands of a professional hosting staff instead of an untrained JIB team, they'll be just fine."

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "Apparently being a princess doesn't get you a whole lot around here."

"Well, ain't this a fine bucket of apples," Applejack grumbled. "I say we don't move from this spot until they let us stick together!"

"That sounds like a good idea to me," Twilight agreed.

"Now girls," Rarity spoke up, "let's not lose our heads here. There are much more delicate ways of getting our point across." She turned to Danielle. "I overheard Craig yesterday talking about some sort of special 'wheatgrass smoothie' served in this area, and I am very interested in sampling one. Be a dear and procure one of these drinks, and bring it to our press conference later."

Danielle's stomach turned at the thought of a wheatgrass smoothie. "Uh... Sure, I guess," she said. "But why?"

"Just trust me on this." Rarity winked, and gestured to Twilight. "We might as well comply with this nice lady's instructions. There is no point in making a scene... Yet."

"Er... Okay." Twilight looked at Danielle and shrugged. "I guess we're good to go."

Danielle relayed this message to Petunia. "Wonderful!" the councilwoman exclaimed. "Right this way, your Highness..."

One by one, the ponies filed off the boat and followed Petunia off the dock and towards a mass of waiting photographers. "Harrumph," Brianna snorted. "That stuffed shirt bureaucrat doesn't know who she's dealing with. If those ponies end up razing Inkopolis to the ground, it'd serve her right."

As soon as Petunia and the ponies had vacated the dock, a stern-looking older male Inkling covered in war medals came stomping towards Danielle and Brianna. "Sergeant Sardine, sir!" Danielle said as she saluted the old man. "We've delivered the Equestrian Inklings safely to Inkopolis, just as you asked."

"So you did," the sergeant conceded. "And I suppose I should give you credit for pulling off a mission of this magnitude with a crew this inept." He cast an irritated glare at Brianna, who had her arms folded and hadn't bothered to salute, and then scowled at Craig, who was staring out at the ocean and hadn't even noticed the sergeant's presence. "You may have a future in this squid's army after all, plankton."

"You're gonna keep an eye on those Inklings, right?" Brianna asked. "I don't trust them."

"They're slated to have a full military escort," the sergeant replied, "to keep ne'er-do-wells like you from disrupting their trip."

"Good enough," Brianna said. "Can we go home now? I'm sick of this ship, sick of this crew, and sick of this whole darn army."

"You've all earned yourselves eighteen hours of R&R, plankton," the sergeant declared. "You'll report back here tomorrow at 0600 hours sharp for redeployment."

"R-R-Redeployment?!" Brianna's eyes nearly popped out of her head. "You mean you're sending us back out to sea?!"

"That's right!" the sergeant shouted. "A land mass that's already inhabited by Inklings is only so useful for colonization purposes. We need to find another island to inhabit, and that's exactly what you're going to do!"

"But sir," Danielle pleaded, "that trip took a heavy toll on the crew, and I don't think sending us back out with this short a turnaround is a good idea. Isn't there anyone else who—"

"Nobody else even came close to finding land, plankton!" the sergeant revealed. "The High Council wants results, and you're the only splatoon who's got them, so it'll be anchors aweigh for you all in the morning!"

"This is baloney!" Brianna flung her hat onto the dock in disgust. "I am not going back out on that ocean in that ship with this crew for your stupid scavenger hunt!"

"Me neither!" Tommy added. "I'm tired of having my life flash before my eyes!"

"I can't go, dude," Craig declared as he turned to face the sergeant. "My work is here now, working with our new friends to—"

"Well, 'dude,' you don't get a choice in the matter!" the sergeant thundered. "In fact, I've half a mind to rescind your R&R and stick you all on KP duty for the rest of the day!" He stepped forward and stood threateningly over Danielle. "Would you like that?"

Danielle gulped. "N-No, sir."

"That's what I thought." The sergeant turned and stomped back down the dock. "Dismissed until 0600 hours tomorrow, plankton!"

"Great!" Brianna screamed as Sergeant Sardine walked away. "That should give you plenty of time to pick up a new brain from the quartermaster!" She stared the sergeant down until he disappeared from view, her body still twitching with rage. "He's lucky I'm such a nice person," she grumbled. "Otherwise, I might have done something he would have regretted."

"Don't you mean something you would have regretted?" Danielle inquired.

"No," Brianna answered. "I think I would have enjoyed it."

Tommy sighed and picked up his sniper rifle. "Well, I'm going to go home and cry into my pillow for the rest of the day. See you tomorrow, I guess."

Danielle watched as Tommy and Craig headed for shore, and then threw an arm over Brianna's shoulder. "Rarity wanted me to pick up a drink for her at the Smoothie Shack. Wanna come and get a banana sundae to drown your sorrows in?"

"I guess," Brianna agreed as she and Danielle began walking off the dock. "But I swear, if the scooper gives me any grief about taking extra sprinkles..."

Danielle and Brianna made their way across the street from the harbor, and spent the next fifteen minutes relieving the Smoothie Shack of its chocolate ice cream supply while working on a plan to avoid getting redeployed. "How about this," Brianna suggested in between bites of her sundae. "We meet back here around midnight, and then we go kick the front window out of Shrimp Kicks, grab an armful of shoes each, and wait for the cops to catch us red-handed with the evidence. I mean, they can't ship us out to sea if we're in jail, right?"

"I dunno, Bree," Danielle admitted. "I'd prefer a plan where I didn't end up with a criminal record."

"Aw, how bad could it be?" Brianna said. "We beg for mercy, we point out that it's our first offense, and we plead out for probation and some community service. I'd rather spend two hundred hours picking up litter in the business district than test my sea legs again."

"With our luck," Danielle pointed out. "we'd get thirty days in the hole, and spend the rest of high school wearing matching ankle bracelets." She sighed and checked the time on her phone. "I'm gonna run over to City Hall and deliver Rarity's drink at the press conference. You coming?"

"Nah," Brianna replied. "If the big brass doesn't want me hanging around our 'distinguished guests,' they deserve whatever they get." She pulled out a pen and began doodling on a napkin. "I'm going to stay here and keep working on a plan to get out of sea duty. Call me if the ink hits the fan."

"Right." Danielle stood up, pushed away from the table, and made her way over to the train station a few buildings down the street. Five stops, two blocks, and one metal detector later, she walked through the doors of a large conference room in the basement of Inkopolis City Hall. The room was already packed twenty rows deep with press from every corner of Inkopolis, so Danielle was forced to lean against the back wall next to a sweaty camerasquid who had apparently forgotten to use deodorant that morning. This ought to be loads of fun, she thought.

The stage at the front of the room was empty save for a podium and a line of chairs along the back wall, but a parade of city officials led by Councilwoman Porgy soon filed into the room, followed by Twilight Sparkle and her friends. As the squids on stage found their seats, Petunia stepped up to the podium.

"Ladies and gentlemen, squids of all ages," the councilwoman began, "today is a momentous day in the history of Inklingkind. For the first time, a new colony of Inklings have been discovered on a faraway continent, and a member of their royal family is here with us today." She turned and gestured towards the disguised Equestrians. "Please join me in welcoming Princess Dusk Shine and the Equestrian Inklings!"

Twilight Sparkle stood up and smiled as the press corps applauded. "I'm actually a magical pony named Twilight Sparkle, and I'm here to enslave you all and reduce this city to rubble," she said, maintaining her smile the entire time.

Danielle's jaw nearly hit the floor. Did she really just say—

A bespectacled Inkling wearing a dress shirt and tie stood up next to Twilight. "The princess says 'Thank you for your hospitality. We are very happy to be here.'"

"A spot-on translation as always," Twilight said, as the 'Inklings' behind her snickered.

"Wha...?" Danielle scratched her head in confusion. What exactly is going on here? she wondered.

"Well, we're very happy to have you here!" Petunia beamed. "Now then, I am happy to announce that in honor of this historic visit, we will be holding a special Splatfest this evening!" She motioned for the Equestrians to stand up, which only Fluttershy did. "We didn't want to offend any of our guests by leaving them out of the festivities," she explained, "so instead of our customary two-team faceoff, we shall form a team for each one of our guests!"

A seven-team Splatfest? Danielle shrugged as the press applauded again. At least I'll get to participate before I leave...

"The Squid Sisters shall be making a broader announcement about the Splatfest at the conclusion of this conference," Petunia explained. "We shall see you all at Inkopolis Tower at sundown, and may the best team win! Now, I'll open the floor for questions..."

"Councilwoman Porgy!" a squid in the front row shouted. "Can you say anything about how the discovery of these Inklings came about? Was it part of Operation Expansion?"

"I can confirm that yes, our Equestrian brethren were discovered during this operation," Petunia answered.

"Can you tell us anything about the team that found them?" another voice squealed from the floor.

"The army will be releasing more details shortly," Petunia replied, "but I can say that the Equestrians were discovered by one of our elite JIB splatoons, led by a skilled young woman named Debra."

DEBRA?! Danielle threw her hands up in disgust. That's not even close!

"I believe the aplomb with which Debra and her team handled this task validates our decision to trust the JIB with this important mission," Petunia continued. "Our youth are frequently criticized for being consumed with shallow matters like being 'fresh'"—Petunia made air-quotes with her fingers as she spoke—"but this operation has taught these children important lessons about responsibility and civic duty, and given them a chance to grow and shine."

"They were certainly more fun to deal with than you fuddy-duddies," Rainbow Dash commented.

"The blue one said she agrees wholeheartedly with your reasoning," the bespectacled Inkling mistranslated, drawing a raspberry from Rainbow.

Rarity looked past the crowd of reporters and made eye contact with Danielle in the back. "I think we've heard quite enough," Rarity declared with a wink. "I think I feel a little... Faint."

"Um, the white one says thaaaaaaahhhh!" the 'translator' shouted as Rarity fell out of her seat and collapsed dramatically onto the stage.

Petunia's face turned white as the press began snapping photos and asking questions. "What's wrong?" "Has she been injured?" "Is our climate inhospitable for these Inklings?"

"Well, um..." Petunia cast a 'Well?' glare back at the translator.

"Oh, the cruel ironies of fate!" Rarity cried out, lifting her head and bringing her forearm to her forehead. "Gather round, my friends, for I fear the end is nigh. My lips, my throat, my entire body burns for lack of sustenance."

"Oh dear!" Petunia rushed over to the fallen 'Inkling.' "Let me help you—"

Stay back!" Rarity commanded, raising her hand to stop the councilwoman. "Your words, your actions, they do nothing for me. It is only the sweet nectar of the gods themselves that can save me now."

"Is she having an attack of some sort?" "Why didn't you have a doctor standing by?" "Has there been an assassination attempt?" The questions from the press kept coming.

Petunia's face went from white to red, and she wheeled on the translator. "What is she saying?" she demanded.

"Well, uh..." The translator broke out in a cold sweat. "She, um, says she's not feeling well, and—"

"I can see that!" Petunia roared. "How do we make her... Well, make her stop doing that?"

"Okay, here's what we need," Rainbow approached Petunia while trying to suppress a smile. "We need a million bits, a getaway chariot, and a hot air balloon."

"I think she just needs some fresh air," Applejack diagnosed. "This here room is awful stuffy."

"I think a kiss might be just the thing to revive her," Spike offered, drawing a stern look from Twilight.

"Maybe she just needs some balloon animals!" Pinkie pulled a balloon giraffe out from behind her back. "Balloon animals always make me feel better!"

"Is our guest's life in danger?" "Why weren't you prepared for this?" the press demanded. "How will this affect our relations with the Equestrians?"

Petunia put her hands on her head as the scene around her devolved into chaos. "Is... Is there a doctor in the house?" she whimpered.

"Save your breath!" Rarity coughed a few times for effect, and reached a hand towards to crowd. "I am dry, dry as an August in Appleloosa, and only a drink will save me." She held her pose for a few awkward moments, waiting for a certain someone to act. "Of course," she went on, "one of your delectable wheatgrass smoothies would work as well." She looked through the crowd at Danielle, who was staring at the stage with a puzzled look on her face. "Ahem! I said, does anyone have a wheatgrass smoothie?"

"Why is she asking us for a—Oh yeah!" The clouds parted in Danielle's mind, and she raised the smoothie she had carried in. "Hold on Rarity, I'm coming!”

All commotion stopped, and the entire room turned and watched as Danielle pushed her way through the crowd and climbed up onto the stage. "I, uh, got you the smoothie you wanted," she said, a bit unnerved by the number of Inklings staring at her.

"Thank you, darling!" Rarity took a dainty sip from the straw, and immediately scrunched up her face. "Ugh! Apparently Craig failed to mention how horribly strong this was."

"Well, you're kinda stuck drinkin' it now," Applejack pointed out, "so... Bottoms up."

Rarity sighed. "Such are the travails of the theater." She held her nose and began drinking as fast as she could.

The crowd watched breathlessly as Rarity finished the drink. "Praise be," she proclaimed in between coughs, "for my soul's thirst has been quenched! I am whole once more!"

The room erupted in applause as Spike and Fluttershy helped Rarity to her feet. "And now, for the grand finale!" Rarity declared. "Everypony... Group hug!"

"Awwwww...." The reporters melted as the Equestrians surrounded Danielle and wrapped her in a hug. "Young lady," one reporter asked, "just who are you?"

"Me?" Danielle's hands began to shake as she looked out at all the faces and cameras that were staring back at her. "Well... Um... I..."

"This," Petunia announced, pushing Fluttershy aside to get access to Danielle, "is the incredible splatoon leader I was telling you about earlier! Say hello to the folks at home, Debra!"

"Uh..." Danielle stared into the nearest camera like a deer into headlights. "Hi?"

"Why wasn't she already with the Equestrians?" a member of the press demanded.

"I don't know," Petunia fibbed, "and I, for one, an outraged that this separation was allowed to occur! I assure you that we will conduct a thorough investigation into the matter, and heads will roll!" She cast an angry glance back at the official translator. "For now, Donna and her team will be assigned full-time to the care and company of Princess Shine and our Equestrian visitors."

"You hear that?" Twilight said into the podium microphone. "If you can understand me—that means you, Brianna, Tommy, and Craig—you're needed at City Hall right away!"

Petunia grabbed Danielle's hand and began shaking it vigorously. "Thank you once again, Dana, for coming through in our hour of need." She leaned in close to Danielle. "And for your sake... Don't screw this up," she whispered.

Danielle swallowed hard as the cameras flashed. Maybe Bree was right after all, she thought to herself. I'm probably doomed either way, but at least her plan would have gotten me a new pair of Hi-Horses...

The Most Unpopular Team I've Ever Seen

Danielle's valiant actions led off every six o'clock newscast in Inkopolis that night, and within thirty minutes her team was reunited in a posh suite on the top floor of the Inkopolis Grand Hotel, which the High Council had reserved for their Equestrian guests.

The city's newest hero spent the next hour on the phone dealing with the aftermath of her newfound notoriety. "For crying out loud, Dad, listen to me!" Danielle demanded, holding her head in her hands as she paced around the suite. "Do not tell the media stories about how I was a bed-wetter until I was eight, do not let Mom distribute naked baby pictures, and do not, not, NOT let my little sister give quotes to the press! I'm under enough stress as it is—I do not want to wake up tomorrow to the headline 'Danielle Smells Like Poo!' ...No, Dad, I understand nobody's been this interested in your stories since Aunt Lilly visited, but please..."

Brianna sighed. "Let me talk to him, D," she offered, snatching the phone out of Danielle's hand. "Hey Mr. S! Say, you know what really gets reporters excited? Money! Oh man, they can't get enough of stories about money. Remember what you were telling me about those APIs you were working with last month? ...Right, yeah, APRs, whatever. I'll bet those guys would love to hear stuff like that. Seriously, you've got, like, the most interesting job in the world, Mr. S. Now go impress the press! ...You're welcome. Bye!"

Brianna hung up and handed the phone back to Danielle. "You can thank me later," she said. "Twenty minutes of your dad droning on about boring accounting stuff, and those bloodsuckers'll go back to camping out around my house again."

Danielle sighed. "I still don't know how you put up with it."

Suddenly, the Inklings heard a knock on the suite's front door. "Good grief, don't tell me she's back again," Danielle groused.

Sure enough, when Danielle opened the door, she was greeted by a smiling member of the hotel staff. "Hello again!" the Inkling squealed cheerfully. "I just wanted to see if our guests were comfortable, and ask if they needed anything to eat or drink or—"

"You literally asked us this question five minutes ago," Danielle grumbled.

"And ten minutes ago, and fifteen minutes ago, and twenty minutes ago..." Brianna added.

Danielle sighed. "As I said before, Princess Shine is resting comfortably right now, and does not wish to be disturbed. We'll let you know if we need anything."

"Okey dokey!" the hotel staffer agreed. "I'll check back with you in a bit to—" Danielle slammed the door shut before the staffer could finish.

"Seriously, where do they find these people?" Brianna wondered aloud. "Being that perky all the time just isn't natural."

"I wouldn't know," Danielle replied.

Suddenly, a loud crash made both Inklings leap into the air, and they rushed into the bedroom to find one of the beds sagged and broken, with Rainbow Dash and Pinkie standing on the mattress. "What did I tell you two about jumping on the bed?" Twilight told her friends. "We're already going to be asking these Inklings to make peace with their mortal enemies; we don't want to cause any more trouble than we have to!"

"I couldn't help it!" Pinkie insisted. "It was just so bouncy!"

"Yeah!" Rainbow seconded. "Besides, we're huge celebrities here. We're not just allowed to trash our hotel room, we're practically obligated to do it."

"Don't worry about it," Brianna assured Twilight. "For the amount they're probably charging the city for this room, they can replace this thing ten times over. We'll just make Tommy and Craig share it tonight."

"Ugh..." Twilight smacked her forehead with her hand. "Danielle, please tell me we're supposed to be somewhere soon."

"Well..." Danielle fished a piece of paper out of her pocket. "We'll need to be at Inkopolis Plaza in another hour to kick off the Splatfest, but the car taking us there won't be here for another half-hour or so. You'll probably end up watching ink battles for most of the night—the city never sleeps when there's a Splatfest. Now, for tomorrow—"

A sudden loud knock at the suite door made Danielle flinch. "Oh, for the love of swordfish..." she muttered. "Tommy, could you get that? I don't think I can take dealing with Miss Smiley one more time."

"Sure thing!" Tommy jumped up from his chair and headed for the door.

"Now then," Danielle continued, "the High Council has scheduled a private lunch with all of you at noon tomorrow, followed by a meeting to discuss establishing diplomatic relations between your colony of Inklings and ours. After that, they'd like to take you on a tour of the—"

"OH, HI, CLARK!" Tommy suddenly shouted from the kitchen in a loud, meerkat-warning-the-herd tone. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

"Clark!?" Danielle's face turned bright red. "Oh crab!" She immediately transformed into her squid form and dove behind the bed. "If anyone asks, I'm not here, got it?" she whispered. "Not here!"

"Oh dear!" Fluttershy jumped behind the bed without bothering to switch forms. "What is a Clark? Is it scary?"

"More like extremely annoying." Brianna grabbed her gun from the table and headed for the front door. "I'll handle this. Just follow my lead."

The Equestrians followed Brianna to the suite entrance, where Tommy was trying to block a tall, well-dressed Inkling carrying a handful of heart-shaped balloons and a large box of chocolates from entering the kitchen. "Oh my," Rarity whispered as she laid eyes on the mystery Inkling, whose muscles rippled underneath his slightly-too-tight clothing. "This fellow is certainly more... defined than other Inklings."

"Hmph." Spike frowned and folded his arms. "I don't like this guy already."

The muscular Inkling's eyes lit up upon seeing Brianna. "Why hello, Brianna!" he said with a smile, casually shoving Tommy out of the way as he stepped into the room. "Tell me, is Danielle around? I brought her a few things to welcome her back to Inkopolis."

Sorry Clarkie, you just missed her," Brianna replied. "She had to step out and get another one of those weird drinks for our guests. Why don't you go down to the Shake Shack and see if you can catch her?"

"Aw, that's too bad." Clark turned his attention to the Equestrians. "And these must be the foreign dignitaries I've heard so much about!" He bowed in Twilight's direction. "On behalf of the people of Inkopolis, let me say—"

"They can't understand you, dummy," Brianna interrupted. "You should probably go—after all, you wouldn't want to accidentally offend our guests, would you?"

"Oh, there's no chance of that. The language of chivalry is universal!" Clark took Twilight's hand and kissed it, drawing a confused look from the princess. "Besides," he pointed out, "if you haven't offended them yet, I think the rest of us are safe."

"Hardy har har," Brianna said. "I have to say, you're looking well these days, way better than the last time we talked." She leaned around Clark and looked down at his rear for a second. "I can barely make out the imprint of my foot in your butt anymore."

Clark's smile never wavered. "Say, there was something I wanted to show you," he recalled, pulling out his phone. "There have been some recent changes in the ink battler rankings that I thought you would be interested in."

"Is that so?" Brianna squinted at the screen of Clark's phone as he held it out towards her. "I didn't think it was possible for you to drop any farther, but... Wait, what?" Brianna's eyes nearly popped out of her head. "You're number one!?"

"That's right!" Clark beamed. "At long last, I, Clark Hornpout, am officially the best ink battler in all of Inkopolis!"

"But... But you suck!" Brianna insisted. "How is this possible? You were nowhere near No. 1 when we left! You weren't even in the top forty!"

"I was No. 38, actually," Clark corrected Brianna. "But through a combination of strategy, hard work, and determination, I have finally claimed the top spot on the ink battle rankings, just like I said I would! Incidentally, the squid I replaced—you guys might have heard of her—fell all the way to..." He scrolled down a little on his phone. "Wow, eighteen! That's down one spot since lunch, actually."

"I'm down to eighteen!?" Brianna's jaw fell on the floor. "How... Why... This doesn't make any sense!"

Clark's grin grew even bigger. "There, there," he offered. "I know it's hard to lose something you've held for so long, but nothing lasts—"

"Actually, it makes perfect sense," Tommy interrupted. "We've been gone for several weeks, which is an eternity in terms of the ink battle rankings. It's only natural for an inactive battler to get passed by more active ones. In truth, the fact that Brianna is still inside the top twenty after being out at sea for so long is pretty impressive."

Brianna's face brightened. "Four-Eyes makes a good point," she agreed. She scrolled down a little more on Clark's phone. "Jeez, everybody's taken a dive, huh? Carson dropped to 22, Hawke sunk to 25, Spider's down to 27, Emily's fallen to 30, and... Wow, Violet's not even in the top 35! I guess I'm not the only one in a sea-induced slump these days." She shot Clark a smug smile. "I hope you've enjoyed your little stint on top, Clarkie, 'cause the real squids are back in town now. By the end of this Splatfest, I'll be back on top of the heap, and you'll be back down where you belong."

Clark shot a stink-eye at Tommy before turning back to Brianna. "That's awfully tough talk for a salty squid like you," he retorted. "While you've been getting rusty and seasick, I've been honing my skills on the field. I'm even stronger, faster, and smarter than before."

"Which brings up another interesting point," Tommy said. "Given that the army was desperate enough to let me in on Operation Expansion, I assumed that all the top JIBs were already out on the ocean, but apparently I was wrong." He folded his arms and gave Clark a stern look. "So... Exactly what was a top-forty player like you doing 'honing your skills' in the comfort of your own city while I was risking my tentacles out at sea and taking your place as Brianna's whipping boy?"

Brianna put her hand on Clark's shoulder. "You don't have to answer that, Clarkie," she said in a mock-consoling tone. "I mean, having Daddy on the High Council has got to be good for something, right?"

Clark shook off Brianna's hand and glared at the Inklings who were tag-teaming against him. "I will not respond to such libel in front of the princess," he declared, nodding in Twilight's direction. "If you think you're squid enough to take your ranking back, than—"

"Read my lips, pal." Brianna jabbed her finger into Clark's chest. "I'm squid enough to take three scrubs out of the C ranks and beat the snot out of you and any kid that's dumb enough to join your team."

"Oh really?" Clark smirked at Brianna's boast. "Well then, perhaps I can arrange for you to put your money where your mouth is. In fact, I think you've got half of your team right here! I certainly couldn't think of two staler scrubs than Hippie McSpaceCadet and the inferior Pike twin."

"Inferior?" Tommy grimaced. "Look, I know I'm not the best battler in the world, but—"

"Now there's the understatement of the century," Brianna muttered. "All right Clark, if this is the team you want, it's the team you'll get. I'd still take me, D, Tweedledee, and Tweedledum over any squad you could assemble."

"What? No!" Clark objected. "I couldn't bear to fight against dear, sweet Danielle! The very thought of having to splat her... Why, it kills me inside!"

"How appropriate," Brianna quipped. "Killing you is exactly what she'd like to do."

"Hmph," Clark sniffed. "Spoken like a lonely squid whose heart has never been touched by true love." He shook his head. "No, I will not stand for it! Danielle must not be a part of our petty dispute."

"Fine," Brianna agreed. "I guess somebody's got to stay with Princess Shine and explain the rules of Turf War anyway."

"Good." Clark reached past Brianna and offered his balloons and chocolate to the Equestrians. "Please, accept these as a token of—"

"Ooh!" Pinkie immediately snatched the gifts from Clark's hands. "Now which do I taste-test first?" She looked back and forth between the items a few times, and then tossed the chocolates away and started sucking the helium out of the balloons. "Oh wow, this is high-quality stuff!" she proclaimed in a voice two octaves higher than normal, as her head swelled up and she began to float slowly upwards. "You really know your balloons, Clarkie!"

Clark stared wide-eyed and slack-jawed at Pinkie for a few seconds. "You get used to it," Brianna said as she began pushing Clark towards the door. "Now then, I think you were just leaving..."

"Uh... Right. After all, I need to put together a squad to take on yours." Clark bowed one last time to Twilight, and then turned to leave. "Tell Danielle I'll call her later!"

"Maybe!" Brianna followed Clark into the hallway. "Hey, have you ever looked up the definition of insanity?" she called after him. "You should probably see a doctor about that! I mean, you'd think after thirty-five losses in a row—"

"It's only thirty-one!!" Clark shouted angrily back.

Brianna chuckled as she re-entered the hotel room. "He's right," she revealed to the others. "I just wanted to see if he was still keeping track."

"That was a rather, er, indelicate conversation," Rarity remarked. "I take it you have a bit of a history with him?"

"Actually, it sounded to me like it was Danielle who had the history," Applejack said as Danielle nervously poked her head in from the bedroom. "What's up with you and that Clark feller?"

"N-N-Nothing! Nothing at all!" Danielle insisted. "He... I don't know, he just decided a few months ago that I was his forever soulmate or something. He's forever giving me gifts, and writing me notes, and—"

"And performing embarrassing public displays of affection." Tommy added. "That singing telegram act he pulled a while back makes me cringe even now."

"Ah yes..." Rarity shook her head. "Matters of the heart can make even the most refined ponies behave strangely, even when their feelings go unrequited."

"Clark isn't stoic or refined," Brianna declared. "He's a spoiled, pompous brat who thinks he's the Squid Spirits' gift to the world, and that said world should bend over backwards to give him whatever he wants. In fact, do you really want to know how bad he is?" Brianna turned to Craig. "Hey Craig, what do you think of Clark?"

Craig shuddered. "He give off some bad vibes, dude."

"See? That's the most disturbed I've ever seen Craig get." Brianna clenched her fists. "Well, I'm about to make Clarkie an offer he can't refuse: a big old piece of humble pie in exchange for my number one ranking." She pulled out her phone and began scrolling through her list of contacts. "Of course, this means I've got twenty minutes to find a fourth for our epic battle. Let's see... Who should I call first..."

"Hey, what about me? I'll play!" Rainbow volunteered.

"You?" Brianna gave Rainbow a skeptical look. "I think you'd better stay on the sidelines. I mean, have you ever even used a—"

Rainbow dashed in and swiped Brianna's hat off of her head. "Hey!" Brianna shouted, taking a swipe at Rainbow but hitting nothing but air.

"If it's anything like last time," Rainbow recalled as she put on the hat, "I think I can handle myself."

"Give me that!" Brianna snatched her hat back. "It's not that easy, Rainbow," she insisted. "Without your wings, you can't just fly away from enemies, and even if you could, there are plenty of other ways to shoot you down: Killer Wails, Inkzookas... You're going to have to defend yourself, and you barely know how to use your fingers, let alone an actual weapon."

Aw, how hard can it be?" Rainbow replied. "You just squeeze that little thing by your hand, and aim for the bad guys."

"Wrong," Brianna said. "The goal of a Turf War is to cover the ground with your ink, not take out the other team."

"Well, that makes it even easier!" Rainbow declared. "I mean, how hard is it to hit the freaking ground? You don't even need to aim!"

"Come on, Brianna, give her a chance!" Pinkie said. "I bet Dashie would be awesome!"

"You did say that you could win with anypony—er, anyone," Applejack pointed out.

Brianna sighed. "Me and my big mouth." She extended a hand to Rainbow. "All right, Rainbow, you're officially on Team Brianna for the night. You'd better be as good as you think you are."

Rainbow grinned. "I'll be better." She tried to give Brianna a fist-bump, but only succeeding in smashing the fingers of the handshake-expecting Inkling.

"Ow!" Brianna yanked her hand back and looked as her sore fingers. "I'm going to regret this, aren't I?"

Eventually, a long black limousine arrived for the Equestrians, and the entire crew piled into the car and set off on their journey towards Inkopolis Plaza. As the limo snaked through the city streets, the ponies marveled at the scene before them, as the streets were filled with Inklings wearing seven distinctly-colored T-shirts (Team Spike had been assigned a snot-green color to avoid confusion with Team Twilight) who waved and cheered as the car went past. "Wow!" Pinkie shouted, hanging her head out of the window to view the cornucopia of fireworks going off in the city sky. "These Ink-thingys really know how to party!"

The all-too-brief ride ended at the plaza itself, which appeared to have been turned into the world's largest disco. The area had been blocked off from regular traffic, and was now filled with cheering Inklings that were unleashing wacky dance moves with varying degrees of awkwardness. In the center of the plaza were two female Inklings wearing glittery outfits while singing and dancing on top of two large trucks. "Those are the Squid Sisters," Craig explained to the Equestrians. "Callie's the one wearing pink, and Marie's the one in green. There's the biggest pop stars in town, and for good reason. Those two have some serious soul, bro."

"Those two sing and dance nonstop through every freaking Splatfest," Brianna marveled. "They must have one heck of a personal trainer."

The limo pulled up alongside the plaza train station, and a roar went up from the crowd as the car doors opened. A group of Inklings wearing dark suits and sunglasses quickly emerged from the crowd and began clearing a path for the Equestrians. "Bring the princess and her friends over to Callie," one of the suit-wearers told Danielle as she exited the limo. "The High Council would like them to officially open the Splatfest."

"In a minute!" Brianna called from behind Danielle. "First, we've got an important decision to make." She grabbed Rainbow's arm and started dragging her through the crowd to a small booth behind the trucks, where a group of Inklings were handing out T-shirts.

"Yo, champ in making!" one of the booth workers called to Brianna. "Good to have you back, Bree. What team are you going with tonight?"

Rainbow Dash's eyes lit up at the sight of her picture on the light-blue shirts. "Team Dash? Heck yeah! That's the one we want right there!"

"Cool your jets," Brianna advised. "You've got to be strategic about selecting a Splatfest team." She leaned in close to the booth worker. "Level with me, Mac: What's the stalest team right now? You know, the one scaring all the scrubs away?"

"Say no more, Bree." The Inkling reached behind the counter and pulled out a large stack of orange T-shirts. "This might be the most unpopular team I've ever seen. I can't even give these things away."

"Great. We'll take them." Brianna grabbed four of the orange shirts and handed one to Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow's face fell as she looked at the image on the shirt. "Team Applejack? Oh, come on! I don't want to be on Team Applejack!"

"You do if you want 24 Sea Snails," Brianna replied. "Smaller teams mean fewer wall-inking newbies for cannon fodder. Now come on, let's get this party started."

Brianna dragged Rainbow Dash back over to the others, who were being helped up onto the top of one of the trucks. "All right, Inkopolis!" Callie shouted from the truck. "Are you ready to fling some ink?" She put a hand to her ear as the crowd roared. "I can't her you!" she teased, drawing an even bigger roar in response. "I said, I can't hear—"

"For crying out loud, Callie, clean your ears out and start the Splatfest already!" Marie called from the opposite truck. "This crowd's ready to explode!"

"Ask, and you shall receive!" Callie gestured towards the Equestrians. "And now, to give the official command for tonight's festivities... Give it up for Princess Dusk Shine of Equestria!"

Twilight stood still for a few moments, than gently elbowed Danielle. "Quick, tell me what she said," Twilight instructed. "We've got to keep up appearances, after all."

"Oh, right," Danielle agreed. "Um, they want you to say a few words to open the Splatfest, if you would."

Twilight nodded and stepped forward to face the cheering crowd. "Thank you for this wonderful welcome!" she shouted. "Now then... Let the games begin!"

The crowd roared one final time, and began pushing past the trucks towards the tall tower that sat adjacent to the plaza. "But wait, there's more!" Callie called out, stopping the Inkling mob in its tracks. "We've got a doozy of an opening battle for you tonight! Tell us more, Marie!"

"Well," Marie explained, "it seems that a certain former number one ink battler has called out our current champion, and challenged them to a no-holds-barred grudge match!"

"Ooh! I love grunge matches!" Callie declared. "Nothing's fresher than a grunge look done right!"

"That's grudge match, Callie," Marie corrected her partner. "It'll be a knockdown, drag-out heavyweight clash, and if you want to see it, you've got ten minutes to get your squiddy behinds over to the pit! So what are you waiting for?"

Brianna shook her head as the crowd changed direction and started heading west out of the plaza. "Clarkie, Clarkie, Clarkie... You're just dying to get humiliated in front of a huge audience, aren't you? And what was he thinking, choosing Piranha Pit as a battle site? It's got way too much room for an Aerospray user like me to go crazy in. He'd have been better off booking the match somewhere small, like Port Mackerel or Walleye Warehouse."

Rainbow, for her part, was starting to get nervous about the size of the crowd. "Gosh... That's a lot of ponies—I mean, Inklings out there," she offered tepidly.

"Don't you chicken out on me now, Rainbow," Brianna said. "Besides, I've got a foolproof plan that'll really mess with Clark's head." She motioned for Rainbow, Tommy, and Craig to huddle around her. "All right," she declared, "here's what we're going to do..."

Land Ho!

Dear Mom and Dad,

I hope this letter makes it back home to you, because it's looking more and more like I won't. It's been four days since the engine broke down and we lost power, and not only are we no closer to fixing it now than we were before, but I think Craig used half the pieces to plug a leak that popped up yesterday.

Food, morale, and sanity are all in short supply. Last night, Tommy led us on a wild squid chase for three hours because he started hallucinating and swore he could see land off in the distance. Either his eyesight is way worse than he's letting on, or his brains are baked from standing in the sun keeping lookout all day.

Of course, Brianna is handling all this about as well as you'd expect. She speaks mostly in curse words now, and she tried to break an oar over Tommy's head after last night's episode. She's also started keeping a list of all the people she's going to splat for getting us into this mess. It's mostly higher-ups and Council members, but Craig and Tommy are the first two names she added, so I'm keeping a close eye on her.

Anyway, I hope this letter finds you all well. If I never make it back home, my final wish is that my room remain untouched, so that it will serve as a memorial to my far-too-short existence. If you turn it into a storage room or let my little sister have it, I WILL know, and I WILL come back and haunt you.

Love,

Danielle

Danielle sighed as she finished her letter and stuffed it into a glass bottle. If only it were this easy to send ME home, she thought to herself.

As she stood up from the table, she caught a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror mounted on the wall. It wasn't a pretty sight: The Inkling looking back at her was tired and dirty, and sported bloodshot eyes, yellow teeth, and a badly-wrinkled pink polo shirt. A rumbling in her stomach reminded her that it had also been four hours since breakfast, and given that Brianna had accidentally dropped the group's fishing pole into the sea two days ago, it would be a long while before she ate again.

Danielle shook her head and walked over to the door, her shoes making watery squishing noises with every step. She hurried down the ship's narrow hallway, plugging her ears to block out Brianna's ranting from the kitchen and Craig's Uptown Ink CD blasting from the engine room, and quickly climbed up a ladder to the ship's main deck.

Tommy, a scrawny male Inkling wearing coke-bottle glasses and a heavy yellow sweatshirt, was leaning against the railing at the front of the ship trying to use his sniper rifle as a telescope, but Danielle ignored him and walked to the back of the ship instead. She took one last look on the bottled note, and then reared back and flung it as far as she could into the sea. She sighed as she watched the bottle disappear out of sight, and imagined that it was her stuck inside instead of the letter, floating back to Inkopolis and home.

"Land ho!" The sound of Tommy's shout barely registered in Danielle's mind, and she calmly walked back to the front of the boat. "Check it out, Danielle! A huge beach, dead ahead!" he shouted.

"Tommy, we've talked about this," Danielle replied calmly. "You can't just go screaming about seeing something and getting everyone excited about—"

"No, really! See for yourself!" Tommy took his rifle and tried to hold it out so Danielle could see through the scope, but only succeeded in hitting her in the nose with the butt of the gun.

"Ow!" Danielle glared at Tommy, pulled the gun from his hands, and peered through the scope. Her eyes widened at the sight of an empty shoreline off in the distance. "You're... You're right! We did it! We've found something!" she screamed, throwing her arms—and Tommy's gun—into the air in celebration.

"Yikes!" Tommy ducked as his gun flew over his head, and he watched in horror as it landed in the water with a splash. "Um... That's okay! I'll, uh, just get the net before it sinks..."

Danielle ran back to the hatch and stuck her head down into the opening. "Brianna! Craig! Come look! We've found land! We've finally found land!"

"WHAT?!" The yell was followed by the sound of someone rushing down the hall, and Brianna, a dark-skinned Inkling wearing a green hooded sweatshirt and matching backwards ball cap, popped out of the hatch. "You better not be messing with me, D," she said. "I'm tired, I'm cranky, and I've had to listen to Craig's bizarre playlist for the past four hours. If this is another false alarm—"

"You're always cranky, Bree," Danielle said with a giggle. "But unless I'm seeing things now, we might survive this trip yet. Take a look!"

Brianna hurried over to where Tommy was fishing his gun out of the ocean, grabbed the rifle out of the net, and aimed the scope eastward. "You're right! It is land! Beautiful, beautiful land!"

Brianna dropped the gun, which promptly fell back over the side of the boat, and she and Danielle grabbed hands and began dancing in a circle. "We're saved!" We're saved!" they sang.

"What's all the buzz about?" Danielle and Brianna turned to see Craig, who was wearing a blue Hawaiian shirt and a set of headphones around his neck, poke his head out of the hatch. "Looks like a good time up here."

"Uh, yeah!" Brianna replied. "We finally found a place to land and get off this stupid boat!"

"Righteous, dudes. I knew we'd make it." Craig gave Brianna a thumbs up. "I guess that means I should stop working on the engine and start working on the radio." With that, Craig disappeared back below deck.

Brianna gave Danielle a perplexed look. "One of these days, we're going to have to check him for a pulse."

"We’ll think about that later!" Danielle grabbed a pair of oars off of the deck and handed one to Brianna. "Right now, we’ve got a boat to beach!"

Danielle and Brianna spent the next forty-five minutes rowing harder than they had ever rowed in their lives. The boat flew across the water as if it had a jet engine, and struck the shoreline so hard that it flipped both Tommy and his gun over the railing and onto the sand.

"Booyah!" Brianna leaped onto the beach, fell to her knees, and started kissing the sand. "Beautiful, magnificent terra firma!" she said in between smooches. "I’ll never leave you again!"

Danielle walked over to the ship’s railing and looked up and down the deserted beach. "You know," she remarked, "if we ever find our way back home, we might be on to something here. Tommy, do you see anything?"

Tommy brought his scope to his face and scanned the treeline. "It looks clear to me," he said. "The trees are mostly deciduous, which indicates that the soil here is very rich, and the rocks appear to—"

Brianna rolled her eyes as Tommy droned on about the geological composition of the rocks. "Can you imagine if we found a big old deserted island?" she asked Danielle. "Ol’ Sarge would be so impressed, he’d stop yelling at us for at least a few minutes."

"That’s Sergeant Sardine to you, plankton!" The three Inklings jumped in shock at the sound of an angry voice behind them, and they all turned to find Craig balancing a small portable radio in his arms while turning a hand-crank generator to power it. "Who let you use the radio anyway?" the angry voice from the radio demanded. "Where’s your splatoon leader?"

"Oh, uh, right here, sir!" Danielle replied. "Splatoon leader Danielle reporting!"

"Is it true what I heard?" the sergeant asked. "Have you found an uninhabited island?"

"Well, sir, we’re not sure yet," Danielle explained. "We just got here."

"Then find out at once!" the sergeant shouted. "I want every inch of this new land scoured, double-time! If there’s anyone else out there, I want to know!"

"Um, I don’t think that’s a good idea right now, sir," Danielle said. "Our rations are low, our boat’s engine is dead, and—"

"And we’re tired of taking orders!" Brianna interrupted.

"That’s enough out of you, plankton!" the sergeant growled. "Are you threatening to disobey a direct order from a superior?"

"You’re darn right we—Mmph!" Brianna started to tell the sergeant off, but Tommy cut her off by covering her mouth.

Danielle sighed. "No, sir. If you want the island scoured, we’ll start scouring."

"That’s better. Now get going, on the double!" With that, the radio went silent.

Brianna pulled out of Tommy’s grip and blew a raspberry at the radio. "Dried up old shark," she muttered.

Danielle shook her head. "Craig, you’d better bag up the rest of the food—we’re going on a road trip. So Bree, which direction do you want to go first?"

Brianna pointed towards the trees. "I want to be as far away from the ocean as possible," she declared. "In fact, I don’t ever want to see water again!"

"But we can make another fishing pole and fish for more food if we stay near shore," Danielle offered.

"No worries." Craig called from the boat. "We’ve still got most of our seaweed jerky left. We can live on that."

Danielle scrunched up her face at the thought. "Like I said…"

"Aw, come on, D," Brianna goaded her friend. "We bust out our gear, we ink our way across the island, and we’re back here before the sun goes down. Seriously, how big could this stupid island be?"

"Fine." Danielle waved her fellow Inklings back to the boat. "Let’s suit up."

The four Inklings boarded the vessel and dove below deck, emerging a few minutes later decked out in their battle gear. Each now wore a large ink tank on their backs, with each tank hooked to the Inkling's weapon of choice: A gray, handgun-like zapper for Danielle, a golden paint sprayer for Brianna, Tommy's trusty sniper rifle, and what appeared to be a giant paint roller for Craig. "Craig, you take the lead," Danielle directed. "Tommy, you hang back a little bit, and cover us if things get a little hairy. Bree, you know the drill: If it moves, ink it."

"And if it doesn't move, ink it anyway," Brianna said with a smile.

"Exactly." Danielle pointed towards the treeline. "All right, gang. Let's move out!"

The team spent the next three hours slogging through the dense forest, slowly blazing an inky trail across the land. "'Back before the sun goes down,' you said," Danielle grumbled. "'How big could this island be,' you said."

Brianna scowled back at Danielle. "I don't want to hear about it."

"Can we stop and take a break?" Tommy asked, his tongue almost dragging on the ground. "I'm practically melting back here!"

"Serves you right for wearing that stupid sweatshirt in the middle of the summer," Brianna muttered.

"But it's my lucky sweatshirt!"

"Well, maybe you should—Oof!" Brianna walked straight into Craig, who had stopped short just in front of her.

"Sorry, dude," Craig said as he picked up his roller and started pulling out a long vine that had gotten rolled up in it. "I got something caught in my gear."

"Well, I guess that's as good an excuse as any," Danielle said with a shrug. "Take five, squids."

"Yes, ma'am!" Tommy fell backwards into the group's ink trail and relaxed. "Proper rest is essential for a healthy body and sharp mind."

"I say we keep moving," Brianna said, stepping over Tommy to get to Danielle. "This forest gives me the creeps. Who knows what might be out there?"

"Who cares?" Danielle replied. "Besides, what could possibly be in this forest that's scarier than you?"

"Hardy har—wait, what was that?" Brianna spun around and pointed her gun at a bush behind the group.

"What was what?" Danielle asked.

"Tommy, get behind me!" Brianna ordered. "All right, you! Come out from back there! We've got you covered!"

A low growl echoed through the forest, and a large, wolf-like creature made entirely of sticks and branches suddenly stepped through the bush to face the Inklings. "What is that?!" Danielle shouted.

"Who cares?" Brianna shouted back. "Just shoot it!"

Danielle and Brianna unloaded their ink tanks on the wooden wolf as it lunged forward, spraying it in the face and stopping its momentum in mid-air. The wolf landed hard on the ground and scrambled back to the safety of the bush, its paws slipping in the ink. "Ha! That'll teach you to mess with us!" Danielle declared.

Danielle's taunt was met with a chorus of growls, and several more wooden wolves emerged from the brush behind the Inklings. "We're surrounded!" Tommy shrieked. "What do we do now?"

"Chill, bro." Craig slapped Tommy on the back. "I got this." He punched a button on his roller, causing him to transform into a giant, mean-looking squid.

"Yeah!" Brianna cheered as the giant squid plowed into the wolves. "Release the Kraken!"

The Kraken made short work of the remaining wolves, leaving nothing but a pile of twigs and branches. "Great work, Craig!" Danielle commended her teammate. "That ought to show these things who's... Boss?" Her eyes widened as the twigs and branches began reforming into fully-functional creatures. "Okay then... Does anyone have another plan?"

"Already on it." Brianna smiled and pointed at the sky.

Danielle looked up just in time to see a giant ink missile coming down directly on their position. "Not again," she muttered.

BOOM! The missile's impact sent Inklings and wolves flying in all directions, and coated the entire area with a thick layer of ink. When the smoke cleared, Danielle found herself upside down at the base of a large rock, holding a wolf's wooden tail instead of her gun. "Darn it, Bree!" she shouted in between coughing up mouthfuls of ink. "For once in your life, could you not drop your inkstrikes on my head?"

"Hey, it did the job, didn't it?" Brianna popped out of the ink and pointed to the wolves, who had decided they'd seen enough and were running away as fast as they could reassemble themselves.

"Yes," Danielle conceded, "but it seems like every time you do a job, I end up with a migraine."

Brianna walked over to where Tommy lay face-down in the ink, and yanked him to his feet by his head tentacles. "I found our fearless sniper," she called to Danielle. "Where did our Kraken go?"

On cue, Craig burst out of the brush. "Check out this scene, dudes," he said, waving the others over. "I think I found something."

The other Inklings gathered their gear and followed Craig to a small clearing, where a set of train tracks could be seen emerging from the forest and cutting across the plain. "Holy mackerel!" Tommy exclaimed. "Those are train tracks!"

Brianna smacked Tommy on the back of the head. "We can see that, Captain Obvious."

"Well, so much for this island being deserted," Danielle said with a sigh. "The question is, whose tracks are they?"

Tommy crouched down and examined the tracks closely. "They look like they're well maintained, so they're probably still in use," he offered. "Judging from the size of the tracks, the trains that use them can't be much bigger than the ones at home, which indicates that the creatures that use them are about our size as well."

"Could they be... Octarians?" Danielle's grip on her weapon tightened.

"No way," Brianna said. "Octarians aren't smart enough to build stuff like this."

"Actually, Octarian technology is considered comparable to ours," Tommy corrected Brianna. "It could very well be Octarians, or an undiscovered civilization of Inklings, or maybe something else entirely."

"There's one way to find out," Danielle declared. "If we follow these tracks, they'll lead us right to whoever uses them."

"You mean... More walking?" Tommy's face fell. "Why don't we wait for the next train? I'm sure one will pass by here eventually."

"Yeah, but that means we either try to board or stop a moving train, and in either case we're forced to engage creatures we know nothing about," Danielle reminded Tommy. "I mean, what if those wood things we met know how to build trains?"

Tommy gulped. "You know, uh, I suddenly feel better!" he said unconvincingly. "I bet I could walk from here to Inkopolis and back! We don't need to bother these, uh, nice creatures yet."

"My thoughts exactly." Danielle pointed over to where the tracks disappeared off to the east. "Now let's get out of this clearing before someone sees us!"

With that, the Inklings dashed back into the forest, following the train tracks to whatever might be waiting at the end of the line.

Aim For The Yellow One First

As the ponies stared intently at their map, Danielle slowly turned to Brianna. "What do we do now?" she whispered.

Brianna sighed. "We've got no choice," she declared. "We've got to take them out."

Brianna grabbed her gun and aimed it at the ponies, but Danielle swatted Brianna's arm back down. "Are you crazy?" Danielle hissed. "They'll splat us for sure!"

"I know," Brianna said resignedly, "but we swore to defend Inkopolis at all costs when we signed up for this mission. I'd rather they splat me than my family and everyone back home."

Danielle gulped as she thought about her own family, and she reached for her gun. "Aim for the yellow one first."

Brianna nodded and tried to raise her gun again, but this time Tommy stopped her. "I've got an idea," he announced. "If they didn't know where Inkopolis was before this map told them, all we have to do to save Inklingkind is destroy the map!"

Brianna stared at Tommy in disbelief for a moment, and then turned back to Danielle. "Am I hearing things, or did Four-Eyes actually come up with a good idea for once?"

"Hey, I like it," Danielle confirmed. "and I think I've got just the thing to make it happen." She reached down and pulled a small Splat Bomb from her pocket. "Charge up a shot with that rifle of yours," she told Tommy. "When I let this go, blast a trail out the door, and we'll make a break for it."

The trio waited for a few tense seconds as Danielle pulled the tube from her ink tank out of her gun and stuck it into the bomb, causing it to swell and expand as it filled with ink. Once the bomb was full, Danielle pulled out the tube and tossed the bomb underneath the map table. "Go!"

Tommy fired a shot out through the doorway, and the three Inklings dived in and swam for their lives. Seven blast-and-swims later, the group burst through the front door of the castle with their guns drawn. "Did the bomb work?" Tommy asked as he scanned the area. "I didn't hear it go off..."

Danielle started looking around frantically. "Where's Craig? We can't leave without Craig!"

"I thought he was behind you!" Tommy replied.

"He's probably still standing there like the idiot he is." Brianna smacked her hand with her face. "You two make tracks for the boat. I'll go see if I can save that dummy from his own stupidity."

"Bree, no!" Danielle reached out to stop Brianna, but she was in the ink and gone before Danielle could stop her. "What do we do, Tommy?" she said as she grabbed him by the collar. "They're gonna splat her!"

"I-I don't know!" Tommy admitted. "M-Maybe if I spread enough ink out here, I can charge up a Killer Wail to cover her..."

"Argh!" Danielle threw up her hands as Tommy started digging in his pockets for a sprinkler. "Why didn't I bring my Splattershot instead of this dumb N-Zap?" she wailed. "I would have at least had an Inkzooka for this!"

"Hey! Wait up! Where are you going?" a pony's voice called out from inside the castle.

"Son of a seahorse!" Danielle cursed. "We need to hide, and fast!" She quickly coated the front steps of the castle with ink, and then transformed into a squid and dove in. "Get in here," she ordered Tommy, "and whatever you do, don't move!"

Tommy followed Danielle's lead and joined her in the ink. "Danielle?" he whimpered. "I-If we don't make it out of here alive, t-there's something I need to—"

"Shhh!" Danielle interrupted. "Here they come!"

As the Inklings watched nervously, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy emerged from the castle. "Looks like the trail ends here," Rainbow observed. "Talk about a weird way to make an exit."

"I wonder what made them run off like that," Fluttershy said. "I hope we didn't offend them."

"Hey, I would have run too if I had splattered ink all over Rarity's coat," Rainbow noted. "It's a good thing that was just ink, though—just imagine if that had been a real explosion!"

Fluttershy nodded. "We could have been seriously hurt, or the map could have been damaged."

"Wait, what?!" Danielle popped out of the ink right in front of the two ponies. "You mean the map's okay?"

"Everything's just fine," Fluttershy confirmed. "Don't worry. We're not mad, just confused."

"Yeah, what happened in there anyway?" Rainbow asked. "Did one of you get, like, explosive diarrhea or something?"

"Um, well... Yes. That's exactly what happened," Danielle fibbed. "Tommy has a weak stomach, you see, and he kind of overdid it at lunch today." She kicked the ink where she thought Tommy was hiding. "Didn't you, Tommy?"

"Ow! I mean, ohhhhhh, my stomach," Tommy moaned. "I think I'm gonna be sick."

"Oh, you poor dear!" Fluttershy reached down and scooped Tommy out of the ink. "You need to get some rest right away! I'll take you back to my cottage and fix you something for your stomach, and you'll feel better in no time!"

"No, wait, I feel—" Tommy began to protest, but Fluttershy was already carrying him away towards her cottage.

Danielle gulped as she watched Tommy and Fluttershy disappear into the distance, and shuddered at the realization that her entire team was separated and at the mercy of her hosts. "Will he be okay?" she asked Rainbow.

"Mostly," Rainbow assured Danielle. "She'll probably make him take a bunch of caster oil, though. That stuff is beyond gross." Rainbow gagged at the thought. "Anyway, the map's fine, and Twilight's zapped away all the ink, so you can come back inside now."

Danielle took a deep breath. "All right." She transformed into a squid, dove into the ink, and headed for the map room.

"Whoa!" Rainbow jumped as Danielle swam underneath her. "That swimming thing's gonna take some getting used to."

Danielle ignored Rainbow and kept on going. Even if the ponies weren't mad now, they would be once Brianna engaged them, and Bree was going to need all the help she could get.

When Danielle arrived at the map room, she found the other four ponies gathered in a semi-circle around Craig, listening intently as he delivered a surprisingly-passionate speech. "Together," Craig preached, "we can bridge the gaps of ignorance and distrust, and bring peace and understanding to the world!"

"Craig? What are you doing?" Danielle asked. "And where'd Bree go?"

The ponies immediately crowded around Danielle. "It's alright, sugarcube," Applejack assured the Inkling. "Everything'll be just fine. No need to get mad or nothin'."

"Huh?" Danielle took a step back and put her hand on her weapon. "What are you talking about? What did you do with Bree?"

"She's okay," Twilight replied. "Craig's explained the whole situation. He told us about your mission and the trouble you've been having with the Octarians, and we've pledged to—"

"He what?!?!" Danielle looked over at Craig in disbelief. "Craig, how could you?"

"Making this scene was no accident, dude!" Craig declared, raising his hands to the sky. "This was destiny! We've been brought together by the guiding tentacle of—"

Danielle's eyes narrowed. "Craig, I swear, if you start talking about the Squid Spirits again, I'll—"

"Exactly!" Craig said. "Everything makes sense—losing the engine, finding the island, meeting the princess, even this rad map!" Craig pushed between the ponies and put his hands on Danielle's shoulders. "The Spirits chose us, dude! They chose us to find these warriors of friendship and lead them home, so that they could dispel the bad vibes between Inklings and Octarians forever!"

"Personally, I prefer the term ambassador," Rarity remarked. "'Warrior' sounds so rough and uncouth."

Applejack rolled her eyes. "It don't matter what we are," she said. "These Inkling folks have got a problem, and we're just the ponies to solve it!"

Twilight nodded. "I'm sure these Octarians aren't as bad or evil as you think they are," she told Danielle. "If we can bring you all together and find some common ground, I'm sure we can settle whatever differences you have."

"This will be great!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed. "We're gonna meet all sorts of new squid-things and octo-things, and we can throw a party and play games and eat cake and make lots of new friends!"

"Hallelujah, sisters!" Craig shouted.

Danielle stared at the ponies in shock. There was no stopping them now, and while they didn't appear to be planning to destroy or enslave Inkopolis, becoming forced friends with the Octarians at the end of a unicorn's horn sounded almost at bad. She didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or throw another ink bomb at the map. "W-Where's Bree?" she repeated. "I need to see her right now!"

"She's okay," Twilight said. "Come with me."

Danielle followed Twilight down two hallways and up a long flight of stairs to a large bedroom, where Spike was tucking a snoring Brianna into bed. "She got a little angry when she found out what Craig had said," Twilight explained. "If I hadn't used a sleep spell on her, she would have choked him to death! I also took the opportunity to cast my translation spell on her, although it didn't help us calm her down."

Danielle sighed and stared at Brianna, wishing she could ask her friend what to do next.

"Is everything all right?" Twilight inquired. "You don't look very happy about all this. Don't you want to make friends with the Octarians and stop fighting over territory?"

"No!" Danielle declared. "I mean, sure, I don't want to fight over turf anymore, but make friends with them?" Danielle folded her arms and shook her head. "No way! Octarians are mean and nasty and smelly and—"

"I see." A small smile appeared on Twilight's face. "Let me ask you: Have you ever met an Octarian face-to-face?"

"Well... No. But Bree has, and she says—"

"Is this the same Brianna who acts quite mean and nasty towards your other friends?" Twilight asked.

"She gets a little over-angry sometimes," Danielle admitted. "Craig is a little smelly, though. He keeps saying that soap is bad for our skin."

"So how would you feel if I said that based solely on my observations of Brianna, I believed Inklings were mean and nasty and smelly?"

Danielle was silent for a moment. "I guess that wouldn't make sense," she finally said. "But it's not just Bree! My parents say that, my friends say that, Sarge says that, the High Council says—"

Twilight sighed. "Look, I'm sure there are bad apples among the Octarians, just like there are short-tempered Inklings. In my experience, though, if you bring a pair of quarreling groups together, they can always work things out. Wouldn't it be great if you didn't have to worry about fighting over land anymore?"

"Sure, but—"

"Then I'd say our idea is worth trying." Twilight turned and peered out a nearby window. "It's getting late, so we probably won't set off for Inkopolis until tomorrow. Pinkie's probably dying to throw you a welcome party anyway, so this will give her a chance to—"

"A party?" Danielle gave Twilight a confused look. "We come in to take your land, we lie to you about it, and we almost destroy your magical map thingy, and you're going to throw a party for us?"

Twilight smiled. "What can I say? The magic of friendship can make you do crazy things sometimes."

"Uh... Twilight?" Spike pointed a trembling finger at Brianna, who was beginning to stir. "I think the angry one's about to wake up..."

"That's okay—they need us back downstairs anyway," Twilight said. "Danielle, do you think you could explain the situation to your friend?"

"I can try," Danielle offered, "but I can't make any promises."

"That's good enough for me." Twilight turned to leave, but stopped just as she reached the doorway. "One last piece of advice," she told Danielle. "Pay close attention to what you drink during the party. Pinkie has a habit of putting the hot sauce next to the punch."

As Twilight and Spike departed, Danielle looked over at Brianna. "Do you have a bad feeling about this?" she asked. "Because I have a—"

"Ahhhh!" Brianna woke up with a start and screamed, startling Danielle. "Good grief!" Brianna said. "I was dreaming that I was in a Turf War, and my teammates were having a dance party, and the other team was all ponies, and they had pinned in our base! It was awful!"

"Yikes," Danielle replied. "Speaking of parties, by the way..."

As night fell, balloons and streamers went up in a large field outside of Ponyville, and the whole town turned out for Pinkie's incredible Inkling party. While the number of ponies in attendance caught Danielle off-guard, the bigger surprise was their reactions: Outside of a trio of fainting ponies—"Don't worry; they faint every time the wind changes direction," Rainbow explained—the reactions were universally positive. One pony with a two-dolphin cutie mark asked her for advice on swimming techniques, while another pony with a quill mark asked her about becoming a partner in his quill-and-ink business, and a third pony who's eyes didn't quite line up just smiled and offered her a muffin. The whole scene touched Danielle, and made her feel a bit guilty of her initial fear and suspicion. Sure, ponies were an all-powerful race that could splat her anytime they wanted, and they were pretty naive to think anyone could make friends with the Octarians, but at least their hearts seemed to be in the right place.

While the reactions of her squadmates were mostly predictable—Tommy, now fully recovered from his 'stomach issues,' was giving his usual squid-fact lectures to anypony that would listen, while Craig had reverted to chill mode after his passionate outburst in the castle—Brianna's behavior was the exact opposite of what Danielle had expected. Instead of being irritable and spending the whole event brooding in the corner like she usually did, Bree had actually gotten excited when Danielle told her about the party, and she had been nothing but bubbly and gregarious since the first shot of confetti. She was an especially huge hit with the fillies and colts, who marveled at the way she could shoot moving targets out of the air, and they kept trying to find ways to challenge her. Craziest of all, Brianna had even forgiven Twilight for casting her spells without permission, and told Craig that revealing the Inklings' mission was no big deal!

"Wow!" Twilight remarked as she walked up to Danielle. "I don't know you said to your friend, but it sure put her in a better mood. I never imagined she'd be these great with kids!"

"Honestly," Danielle admitted, "I though you'd used a mood spell on her or something."

"Not explicitly, at least." Twilight smiled. "Just think: If the magic of friendship can do this for someone like Brianna, imagine what it can do for you and the Octarians."

"Gosh, I can't wait!" Danielle faked a smile and waved as Twilight walked away, and then worked her way through the crowd to where Brianna stood. "Hey Bree," she asked, "are you okay?"

"Oh, I am better than okay!" Brianna said with a smile. "These little ponies can't get enough of me. I don't get mobbed this much walking through Arowana Mall!"

"Are you sure you're okay?" Danielle pressed. "You're acting really strange."

"I'm fine!" Brianna insisted. "I'm just feeling those good friendship vibes—you know, like Craig does! These ponies all seem super nice, and I so can't wait to get back home and become best besties with all those Octarians!" She chuckled at Danielle's puzzled expression. "You don't believe me at all, do you?"

"Nope."

"Well, maybe you'll believe this." Brianna held up her gun, making sure the special gauge was pointed towards Danielle.

Danielle's eyes widened as she realized the gauge was 85% full. "You're charging an—"

"Shhhh!" Brianna's smile faded, and she leaned in close to Danielle. "The minute that gauge maxes out," she whispered, "I'm dropping an Inkstrike on that prissy princess's head and making a run for the coast, so go easy on the appetizers if you want to keep up."

"But we'll never make it!" Danielle replied. "Even if we beat them to the boat, we don't know the way back home."

"We will beat them to the boat," Brianna proclaimed, "and we'll send out a mayday transmission over the radio. Even if we can't stop these stupid ponies from invading, we can at least make sure Inkopolis is prepared when it happens."

Danielle gulped as she mulled over Brianna's plan. While she was glad to see the Bree she knew and loved was still around and wasn't under the influence of a spell, she didn't think antagonizing the ponies any more than they already had was a good idea. "I'm really not sure about this," she said.

"We have to, D," Brianna declared. "All of Inklingkind is counting on us."

"Miss Brianna! Miss Brianna!" a voice called out from the crowd. "We found some more plates to throw for you!"

"Great! Be right there!" Brianna said in a forced-sweet tone. "You're the splatoon leader," she told Danielle, "so you make the call on whether you tell Tommy about this or not. I'm telling you right now, though: That turncoat Craig is not coming home with us. Either he stays here and takes the rap for the Inkstrike, or I'm tying him to a cement block and throwing him into the ocean."

Brianna turned and made her way back to the colts and fillies, leaving Danielle alone with her doubts and fears. What am I gonna do? she thought. Bree's Inkstrike won't be enough to take down all these ponies—we'll be splatted within thirty seconds! I mean, I don't want to befriend the Octarians any more than she does, but is forced friendship really an Inkstrikable offense? Should I stop her? Should I help her? I... I... I don't know!

"Argh!" Danielle slammed her head down on the nearest table, sending a stack of cups flying. "What do I do?"

"Somethin' wrong, sugarcube?" Danielle jumped at the sound at Applejack's voice, and she turned to find the orange pony standing behind her.

"O-Of course not!" Danielle insisted, reaching for one of the scattered cups and dipping it into a nearby bowl. "Why would you think that?"

"Well, for one thing, ponies usually don't drink salsa from a cup 'less there's somethin' on their minds," Applejack pointed out.

"What do you mean by—" Danielle stopped as she looked down and realized she had a cupful of salsa instead of punch. "Oh, forget it!" she said, throwing her hands (and her cup) in the air and slumping into a chair. "It's just, well..." She hesitated, unsure of what she should admit to the ponies. "I, um, don't think Bree trusts you very much, and, uh, I'm afraid that she might do, er, something."

"Is that so? I thought she was layin' it on pretty thick tonight." Applejack scratched her chin and stared over at Brianna as the Inkling blasted four plates out of the air in one smooth motion. "You know, your friend over there reminds me an awful lot of somepony else. Trust is a hard thing to build, but I'll bet I know somepony who could earn your friend's respect."

Applejack led Danielle over to the cider bowl, where Rainbow Dash was imbibing her fifth mug of the evening. "Hey Rainbow," Applejack said, pointing a hoof in Brianna's direction, "that girl over there's awful quick on the draw. Why, I'll bet she could even shoot you out of the air with that contraption of hers!"

"Yeah, right," Rainbow replied, giving Brianna an indifferent stare. "I could sit of front of that girl for an hour wearing Rarity's most expensive outfit, and the thing wouldn't even need dry cleaning afterwards."

"Come on, Dash." Applejack gave Danielle a wink. "I'll bet it wouldn't be more than thirty seconds before your coat was the same color as mine!"

"Oh yeah?" Rainbow Dash slammed down her mug and gave Applejack an unamused look. "We'll just see about that!"

Rainbow leaped into the air and made a beeline for Brianna, snatching the Inkling's hat off as she zipped by. "Hey!" Brianna shouted. "Give that back, or I'll—"

"You'll what?" Rainbow put the hat on and struck a defiant pose. "You're pretty good as shooting boring old plates out of the air, but let's see you try hitting this!"

"With pleasure." Brianna raised her gun and starting shooting at Rainbow, drawing some gasps from the crowd. Rainbow could fly the fly as well as talk the talk, however, and she spun, swerved, and sidestepped every last shot. After thirty seconds, Brianna had an empty ink tank and Rainbow still had a clean coat. "What's the matter?" Rainbow taunted. "Too fast for you?"

"Grrr...." Brianna scowled, and jumped into the large ink puddle underneath Rainbow Dash.

"If I may interrupt..." Tommy stepped in front of the crowd that had gathered behind Brianna. "Normally, Inklings regenerate ink at a rather slow pace, but in squid form, they can soak up ink from the ground around them, and refill their ink tank in a matter of seconds! Swimming in ink also helps heal damage caused by different-colored ink, and—"

"Out of the way!" Brianna suddenly popped out behind Tommy and shoved him back towards the crowd. "You're standing in my sights!"

Rainbow laughed as Brianna disappeared back into the ink. "You can't hide from me in that stuff! I can see everything from up here."

The crowd watched silently as Rainbow stared down at the ink. "Rainbow Dash holds the advantage here," Tommy explained as he pointed to a set of ripples on the ink's surface. "While Inklings are all but invisible in their own ink, the ripple effect caused by their movements allows you to trace their path."

"And Rainbow never misses a detail when she's flying," Twilight added.

The air grew tense as Rainbow hovered above the crowd and tracked her prey through the ink. When Brianna finally stopped moving around, Rainbow seized the opening and swooped down to press her own attack. "Take that!” she shouted as she slammed her hooves into the ink, missing Brianna by a hair as the Inkling dove out of the way.

"Hah! Didn't think I knew where you—huh?" Rainbow stopped as a faint beeping sound filled the air, and she looked down to see a flashing circle poking out from underneath her hooves. "What the—"

BOOM! The flashing circle exploded, throwing Rainbow up against the base of a nearby tree and coating her in orange ink. "What... What was that?" she demanded as Brianna popped out of the ink and re-assumed her human form.

Brianna walked over and snatched her hat back from Rainbow Dash. "Ink mines," she said, blowing some imaginary smoke away from the barrel of her gun. "Never leave home without 'em."

Brianna turned to walk away, but Rainbow bounced up from the ground and grabbed Brianna's hat again. "Lucky shot!" she declared. "You'll never get me twice!"

Brianna turned and flashed her most evil grin. "Wanna bet?"

What happened next was the kind of titanic clash that would live on in the ballads of pony bards for centuries afterwards. Brianna and Rainbow Dash battled for the right to wear Brianna's hat for the next hour and forty-five minutes, much to the delight of the colts and fillies in attendance. Brianna was her usual dynamic self, attacking Rainbow Dash from all angles and even climbing up inked trees to ambush the pegasus from above, but facing a flying, unsplatable enemy was much harder than she anticipated. Rainbow's eagle eyes made it impossible for Brianna to hide in her ink or take the time to launch an Inkstrike, and Rainbow's array of aerial maneuvers made her nearly impossible to hit, especially with Brianna's less-than-accurate weapon. Most importantly, however, was the fact that Brianna's laser focus on Rainbow seemed to distract her from her prior plan to destroy the party.

Unfortunately, it was a school night, and the crowd thinned as parents dragged their reluctant kids back to their homes. The remaining adult ponies gave up soon afterwards, and by the time the duel ended, only Brianna's team and the Elements of Harmony remained, and it ended only because Twilight and Danielle pulled the combatants away from the game. "What are you doing, D?" Brianna complained. "I was just about to put that flying fool out of her misery!"

"Actually," Tommy said, "by my count, Rainbow Dash had possession of your hat for 54% of the time, which means that—"

"Oh, who asked you?" Brianna reached out to get her hands around Tommy's neck, but Danielle restrained her.

"Hah! See?" Rainbow shouted as she was corralled by the other ponies. "I'm the best there ever was, and always will be!"

"I dunno," Applejack offered. "Seems to me like you were gettin' worn out there at the end. Maybe y'all better settle this one in the mornin'."

"Fine!" Brianna declared. "8 o'clock tomorrow morning, right here. Be here on time, or concede defeat!"

"Hah! I'll be here at 7!" Rainbow proclaimed.

"I'll be waiting." Brianna broke out of Danielle's grasp and stomped towards the treeline.

"Well, uh, I guess we'll be making camp out here tonight," Danielle said with a sigh.

"Are you sure?" Twilight asked. "I've got plenty of extra rooms in the castle. You're more than welcome to stay with us."

"I, uh, better not," Danielle declined. "Brianna will be stewing over this battle all night, and she'll need someone there to discuss battle strategies and keep her mind off of, er, other things. Craig and Tommy can go with you if they want—honestly, they'll probably be safer if they do."

"You don't have to tell me twice!" Tommy practically bounced over towards Twilight. "You mentioned something about having some pony history books in your library..."

Danielle watched as Craig and Tommy followed Twilight off into the darkness, and then turned and followed Brianna into the woods. She had managed to avert disaster for the night, but a beef with Rainbow Dash would only distract Brianna for so long. One way or another, Danielle needed to convince her friend that as bad as becoming friends with the Octarians would be, becoming enemies with the ponies would be a lot worse.