Princess Twilight Sparkle and the Missing Swatch

by MrTurnip

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Comedy, Random
Length: 7250

All is well in Twilight's friendship castle as she begins her day. She's had her coffee, scared-away the bums on her porch, and enjoyed a quiet meal. All that's left is to check on her Swatch, and she'll be fine. Everypony will be fine.

The life of a Princess of Friendship is a tough one. There's never enough time in the day to do what you want to do. So forget the day, thought Twilight Sparkle, and just use the mid-morning hours as your private time?

And that's just what she's used it for. During the night-hours, she's memorized 115 pages of Ulysses, enjoyed meals of roasted pork, and scared away the bums sleeping on her porch. Plenty of time, and all before the daylight. It's a wonderful deal! The best part about having all this time to herself, is that it also gives her time to enjoy her most valued possession: her Swatch.

She's gone to great lengths to get this Swatch, and now it holds a place in her heart higher than the soft words of her mother's voice. The Swatch is everything to her. If it were to go missing, there would be trouble and somepony may even get hurt. She's never had to imagine the possibilities of such a scenario.

Until this morning...

Published 2015-07-31 00:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-31 00:10:01 UTC

The Story Itself

Twilight awoke in the late evening to begin her day's work. She pulled back the curtains to see if the sun had risen yet - it hadn't. I win again! she thought with a grin. Screw you, Celestia. I always wake-up first! And so she left from her bedchambers to begin her day.

The usual activities of a princess were vast and tedious at times. She'd only have these precious four hours before sunrise to complete her own morning rituals. At sunrise she'd be a public princess, which meant helping friendship problems for everyone in Ponyville. In the afternoon the Royal Princesses would be conquered by this week's malevolent force, and before five-o-clock she'd have defeated the villain and learned a new lesson.

Her morning rituals were essential to beginning her day. Should she miss even one of them, she'd be emotionally crippled for the rest of the day, no excuses. She remembered missing one of her routines before: Spike had forgotten to buy more coffee from the store. She made sure he spent a solid 8-hours in the ice-box for it; discipline is key.

Much of the castle she navigated was dark. She walked by the windows, passing through the ghostly-grey moonbeams. For when there weren't windows, she cast an illumination spell from her horn. After living in this castle for a full season, she knew its maze-like floor plans inside-out. She arrived to her pantry before too long and found fresh coffee grounds.

While the coffee was brewing in the castle's fourteenth kitchen, she decided she'd go accomplish another chore while she had the time. Ten minutes were all she'd require for her next one. She took a broom with her on her way out towards the front door.

Twilight shoved open the door and hit the backside of a sleeping earth-pony. The pony awoke from her sleep with a fright. Her foal beside her did as well.

"Huh," she answered as she clambered to her hooves. "P-princess-"

Twilight swatted the backside of the mare's head with her broom. "Get the hell off my property! You aren't welcome here!"

The foal croaked as it was yanked away by his mother, "Mom?"

"But you're the Princess of Friendship!" plead the earth-pony. "We'd just like some help-"

"I'm not the princess of friendship until sunrise, now scram!" Twilight shut the door and leaned the broom against the doorframe. She let out a relaxed breath and smiled softly. Shoo-ing away the bums on her porch were one of her favorite early-morning rituals. Her coffee would be done soon, so she made good strides back up to the kitchen.

Once she'd had her coffee, she could begin her next task: memorizing Ulysses verbatim. Celestia and Luna had done it before, years and years ago - otherwise they couldn't be real princesses. Princess Cadenza followed the same suit - even though she rules the Crystal Empire with a tyrannical fist, she wouldn’t t hold true authority until she, like Twilight, memorizes the novel.

She found her signed edition of Ulysses, threw herself on the couch, and attempted to memorize. The process went as follows: read a sentence, write it out, repeat it to herself in a nearby hoof-mirror, then repeat. First she'd memorize a sentence, then a paragraph, then a page, and then a chapter. However, after years of practice she'd only memorized the first 115 pages. Her close friends worried it was changing her personality, and insisted that for the health of their friendship - and for her position as princess - that she stop. But she couldn't - being the princess of friendship came before having friends, and that was a fact.

An hour later, after she finished vomiting in the bathroom and took some headache medicine, she went upstairs to prepare breakfast for herself. Perhaps the strongest advantage in waking at two-in-the-morning every day was that she not only had so much time accomplish her morning rituals, but feed her guilty pleasures as well. The others would certainly be concerned - especially Fluttershy - if they found out that she ate swine for breakfast. Reading Ulysses had changed her, they were right, but Twilight recognized what she'd been missing out on, and continued eating meat regardless. The only problem in being the only omnivore in Ponyville - let alone the surrounding 400 miles, was that there were no butchers to sell her prime cuts, so she had to make them herself. For this reason she cautioned herself to practice a quieter teleportation spell when she stole pigs from Applejack's farm at night. Once harvested, the bones would be teleported to Tartarus, where they would then be devoured by Cerberus and erased forever.

She sat at the dining table with a roasted swine head on a plate. It looked at her with eyes burnt to raisins in its skull, and she looked at it with eyes of hunger. Levitating her fork in the air, she began with its eyes.

She cleaned up the kitchen like she would a crime scene. First on the list: she teleported the swine remnants to Tartarus. Then she Fabreeze'd the kitchen and the dining room to kill off the succulent aroma of roasted pork. All of her private ingredients, such as her castle-made BBQ sauce, were stored away in a small box in the pantry that Spike would never be able to reach. The silverware used was scrubbed clean and put away. She turned off the lights in the kitchen and left it like no pony had ever entered.

The sun would be rising soon, and then she'd have to assume the title of Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship. Spike would be waking up any time now to dust the castle. There were only a few minutes left, but that was okay; her final ritual would only take a second to complete. She headed upstairs to her library.

Since the destruction of her old home, Twilight figured she'd lost her library forever. Books are books, and she wouldn't have ever coped with that if it weren't for her greatest treasure, stored now safely in her new library. It wasn't hard to acquire a new library - as a princess she taxed the Ponyville ponies however much she wanted, whenever she wanted. (The other Elements got off tax-free, of course.) Neither was it difficult to hollow-out a book as the item’s secret compartment. Like her weekly meal of roasted pork, so much more secret was the item in this book.

With the pork, she could hide the remains in another plane of reality and that would do, but with this, she couldn't risk something else getting hold of it. Spells were placed over the tower so that no spell granting casted-sight could look through the walls. Even if somepony did find the book, if they were to touch it they would burned to a crisp by the pyre-hexes she enchanted it with. And if the book should leave the library or be opened, there were enchants for that as well. Twilight had considered all that could be conceived and thusly spared no expense.

She rolled over a ladder and climbed it to the highest in her library. She felt so clever for choosing such an inconspicuous book to use as its dorm: Classical Mechanics Vol 2, by Shetland the Stubborn. No pony in their right mind would ever think to read this dull thing!

She undid the hex on the book with a flash from her horn and took it in both hooves. But something felt wrong when she held it - the book was lacking its usual weight. A knot in her gut formed. She hurriedly descended the ladder with book levitating overhead. She sat the book on the table, undid the latch, and opened it up. Her 700-bit Collectors Edition Swatch was gone.

Twilight cried at the top of her lungs. Somewhere in the distance, a baby bluebird died in its egg.

*

The first rays of dawn were breaking through the curtains in Twilight's chamber, where Spike stirred in response. He pulled the covers over and twisted himself in them. The evening prior was laden with chores: polishing the floors, replacing the chandeliers, burning the compost outback so that the townsfolk wouldn't steal it for their gardens. Owlowiscious was useless during the fiasco - Spike didn't believe that Twilight understood that Owlowiscious was a wild animal and had no significant knowledge in matters concerning civilized labor.

The solid-pine doors flew off their hinges as Twilight burst in. "Spike!" Her yell shook the walls.

She tore Spike from his covers and shook him like a magic 8-ball. "Where the hell's my Swatch, Spike! I know you took it!"

The young dragon looked shocked, befuddled. "Twilight," he asked worriedly, "What's gotten into you?"

Twilight dropped Spike back onto his doggy-bed. "Augh!" she whinnied in fury. "You're fired!"

His voice trembled, sounding like a cracked egg. "F-fired?"

She pointed her horn at him and within an instant he popped like a balloon. Bloody Spike-chunks painted the floors, walls, and even the ceiling. A concerned hoot broke the wake of silence.

Twilight turned around to face Owlowiscious, standing on his perch on one of the shelves by her window. He was pecking at the glass to try and escape.

I was such a foal to off Spike without realizing there might be witnesses. Twilight shouted at the bird as her horn began to charge. "Where is my Swatch, Owlowiscious! If you love your life you'll tell me right now!"

It turned to her. "Hoo! Hoo!"

She shook her head. "Why can't you speak English like a normal horse? Augh!" She release the charge from her horn and Owlowiscious went just the way Spike did, except with feathers falling from the high ceiling instead of scales. Twilight cast another spell to make the gore on the window disappear. Hopefully nopony noticed.
She cast her vision outside the castle to look around. Nopony was watching, in fact, the streets were empty. The day had only just begun.

Twilight collected a chunk of Spike's flesh and a feather from Owlowiscious for regeneration later. If all went well and Twilight found her Swatch soon, the two of them would be up and kicking before bedtime. She could excuse their absence by saying she sent them out of town to fetch some more coffee. Perfect.

Stepping out into the doorway from her room she collapsed face-first into the marble floor. She wept bitterly for the loss of her Swatch. Her gut writhed in agony for the loss - she curled herself close and sobbed into her hooves. She was going to throw up if she didn't stop soon - but she had to keep going for the memory of her Swatch. Cry as long and loudly as she could in the politeness of an empty friendship castle.

When she'd finished she went to the bathroom to wipe the stomach-acid off her face. She faced herself in the mirror after cleaning herself off, the towel still in her hoof. Her eyes are reddened from crying before, but she can't stop looking now. The Swatch must be somewhere in this castle - or maybe somepony took it in the night. But what creature in this realm could just waltz into her castle while she wasn't looking and make-off with the Swatch? Then she realized it.

The perpetrator didn't sneak into the castle at all; she let her (or them) in. Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack; they all entered her castle and sat around her throne at least once a week. And she'd given them tours before and helped them to all the special areas of the castle. Any one of them could've taken the Swatch. No, that'd be impossible; the hexes on the book containing the Swatch would've immolated them instantly. Rarity was the only unicorn in the group besides herself, but Rarity didn't possess even a portion of the power required to break through the book's defenses and teleport her Swatch out of it. No - the only pony capable of overriding pure logic was the Element of Laughter herself: Pinkie Pie.

*

The door to the bakery's kitchen flew off its hinges in a burst of flames. Pinkie Pie's Pinkie-sense warned her preeminently and she ducked behind the island. When she stood up and looked around the walls at head-level, it looked like an archery range of wooden shrapnel. Smoke from the burnt bits set off the alarms and soon after the sprinkler system started spraying. Twilight stepped into the kitchen.

Pinkie Pie smiled welcomingly to her. "Twilight, what brings you to Sugarcube Corner?" She was levitated from the ground towards her.

"You know why I'm here, Pinkie Pie," growled Twilight, "If that is your real name!"

Her smile started to wane. "Twi? What's wrong?" The foof of her mane was starting to pull down as it soaked in water.

Pinkie was darted towards the wooden spikes along the wall at break-neck speeds. She finally broke out in terror, "Stop!"

Twilight halted her trajectory while the spikes were only inches from Pinkie's cranium. Pinkie shut her eyes to it all and waited anxiously.

Mr. Cake stepped in from the main room in a panic. "What the blazes is going on here?"

"Mr. Cake - " anxiously asked Pinkie, "Twilight's a bit flustered so if you'd just-"

"You'll know!" barked Twilight. Mr. Cake was swiped off his hooves in a levitation field and brought beside Pinkie by the spikes.

"Alright you two," resumed Twilight. "Where is my Swatch?"

"Your what?" exclaimed Mr. Cake.

"I don't know where you funny watch is, Twilight," returned Pinkie, "Honest." Her usual smile had left her face. The quick glances she made with the shrapnel along the wall and with Twilight's eyes were making her sweat.

Mr. Cake had lost his nerves and shouted, "Princess Twilight, let me down! Let me down! I don't know where it is just please let me doooown!"

"Not until she tells me where my Swatch is!"

Pinkie uncurled from her ball. "The last time I saw your Swatch was when Luna showed it to me in my dream a week ago. I haven't touched it, Twi! I would never touch something so precious to you!"

Pinkie and Mr. Cake fell to the kitchen floor with a thump.

Princess Luna - telling the secrets of my dreams? Twilight refocused her magic on the gas stove beside them and lit its burners to a torch-like blaze. Pinkie Pie and Mr. Cake both jumped away from for the sakes of their manes. "Who else knows about the Swatch?"

Pinkie Pie frowned anxiously - like she was about to soil herself and ducked on the ground, covering her head. The magic lifted her off the ground and drew her near to the flames.

Mr. Cake ducked into the cupboards and pulled out a butchers knife. He held it at Twilight. "Twilight! You stop this right now, you hear me?"

Twilight ignored Mr. Cake's talk. She called to Pinkie, "Who else did she tell? The rest of the elements? Would Celestia know? Winona?" She lifted Pinkie closer to the flames - almost touching her.

She at last screamed to save her life. "She told everypony! She knew you'd hate so she told everypony in Ponyville about the Swatch!"

Twilight felt her heart skip a beat and her hooves trembled. She became petrified at the sudden possibly that everypony might truly know her greatest secret. Would Luna have told Celestia - her own sister - about this? They would have to perish - all them - but not without learning everything about the whereabouts of her Swatch. No information that could be pried from everypony in Ponyville would be skipped over. Then they'd die.

Mr. Cake came running at her with his head turning to swing with the butcher's knife. Twilight ducked out of the way at the last second and nearly lost her ear. The loss of concentration freed Pinkie from the levitation field to hit the floor and rub her backside.

When Mr. Cake saw that Pinkie was freed and away from the fire he dropped the knife and ran to her. There was smoke coming up from where she lay, and crying also.

"You hurt her, Twilight!" shouted Mr. Cake as he tended to his friend.

"I need a doctor," whimpered Pinkie.

"I'll get you to one," he responded. He attempted to get his head under her to lift her onto his back. When Pinkie was on him he turned to face to Twilight, but she wasn't there.

*

Twilight flew up high over Ponyville. In comparison to the other places she lived, it was but a rural village in the middle of nowhere. Should its inhabitants disappear off the map, it wouldn't be too deeply missed. But if everypony were to die by her hoof, she'd need a way to harness the power of the Elements of Harmony without the participation of her friends. She recalled a spell that could help her with that - the Eternal Will spell - that's the one. By tonight she'd have Ponyville all to herself, just her, Spike as her servant, and her Swatch. Of course, the Royal Sisters would have to go, too; they shouldn't be too great of a problem if picked-off separately. But that would be a problem for tomorrow. Right now, in the still early morn, she needed Ponyville all to herself for the Equestria's first mass-interrogation.

Her horn glowed brightly as she focused her powers. In mere moments a pink dome conjured itself over Ponyville, growing from thin air like a mold. The dome would be sound-proof and nearly indestructible. The dome went underground as well, so nopony would be able to dig their way out.

She flew back down to Ponyville, a hole opened up in the dome for her. It closed when she flew through.

The Ponyville folk were in a startle over the pink shade covering their town. Some were curious and galloped to the end of town by the shield to try and break through. They tried bucking it but it was useless. Applejack and Big Mac brought some TNT (normally used for removing stumps) to try and break it open, but the dome showed no possible nature of fracturing. Somepony broke into a sob, and then the others started yelling in terror. Twilight found it amusing that once the walls were put down a pony would be reduced to a rat.

Somewhere in this rat maze was a rat with her Swatch.

She came to a hover over Ponyville plaza, where Town Hall stood. Ponies of all colors and kinds had crowded into it for the comfort of an open area to look around themselves, gather their senses, and be on the alert for further disturbances. Among them were Rarity and Sweetie Belle. They gawked up at Rainbow Dash as she tried to break it while flying in the air. The longer they watched her, the greater their disappear became. Somepony pointed up at Twilight Sparkle and all of their gazes turned.

Twilight called out over Ponyville plaza in a massive voice. "Alright, everypony! It appears one of you has stolen my precious Swatch. Whoever can show me to its location and release it to my possession will be graced with a painless death!"

Rainbow Dash flew down to her from the ceiling of the dome and plead to her. "Twilight, what's gotten into you?"

Twilight responded by making Rainbow Dash's wings disappear with a quick spell. Dash's attention turned into a cry of terror as she plummeted for the ground.

"I'm the one asking questions here!" called down Twilight.

Fluttershy made a leap into the air from amidst the crowd. "I'll save you, Rainbow Dash!" To save her friend from a painful death she mustered all of her strength to catch her. Her wings weren't strong enough to carry them both and they both crashed into the dirt of the plaza. They were both only scraped here and there, and Fluttershy got a sprained hoof.

Twilight called again, "Any other questions?"

Sweetie Belle hid underneath Rarity, confused and scared of what Twilight was being. Rarity had gone agasp at the sudden personality change; how did so much fury enter her heart to drive her to nearly kill Ms. Dash?

When nopony had answered, Twilight continued. "This bubble around Ponyville is entirely air-tight and goes all around it." She waited a moment before adding, "If it were to flood, or if a swarm of bees were to enter, nopony would hear your screams."

There was a collection of gasps amongst the crowds.

Sweetie Belle began to cry, "What's wrong with her?"

Rarity answered, "I don't know... " Then she dared to call out to Twilight, "Twilight, darling, we'll do anything you want. How can we help you find this -err.. Swatch of yours? We're your friends; we want to help you-"

Twilight wept as she yelled back at them, "I have no friends until I have my Swatch!" She sniffled back tears. "Only enemies!" She rose higher into the air, towards the roof of the dome. "If nopony's going to tell me where my Swatch is, then I'll make you suffer until somepony comes out!" She raised her hooves above her head, where by the power of her magic, an orb of fire swirled out from her horn. It quickly became a tremendous light.

Fluttershy begged with tears of her own, "Twilight! Just give us some time to find it. You can trust us!"

Twilight shook her head in grief. "I've wasted too much time..."

She let down her hooves and unleashed the raw power within the star above her head. A ray of vaporizing fire and light burst out from the orb to raze Ponyville. The ray struck Town Hall first. The blast of heat whirled against and around it like a rushing river's currents. Within a second the Town Hall's upper-half was charred to a collapsing skeletal frame. The beam adjusted to the bottom, and then entered into the streets. The ponies - Rarity, Sweetie Belle, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and everypony else - scattered like ants under a magnifying glass.

An explosion above Twilight's head drew her focus away and the beam stopped. A great and powerful (but familiar) voice boomed overhead. "Stop this at once, Twilight Sparkle!"

Twilight lost focus from burning Ponyville to look above. It was Princess Celestia. Around her head she wore a little red imported watch made in Switzerland; Twilight's Swatch.

The beam above her head stopped immediately as her eyes narrowed on her. A gut-wrenching fury awoke in her - it was an irrational instinct leading her to vaporize the Princess of the Sun. The anger was quickly brushed away by confusion and a single question: "How in Equestria did you get my Swatch, you bitch?"

Princess Celestia glided in from the hole over the shield she made. As she did, the shield itself began to fracture like glass, and then disappear the way they came. She soared past Twilight, landing gracefully on the narrow of a thatch-work rooftop. She looked up at Twilight, grinning smugly. "Ulysses, my precious student."

Ulysses? How? Isn't that old book merely supposed to give you honorary privileges? Twilight glared down at her old teacher. She'll vaporize Celestia if she didn't give a straight answer. "How?"

"If you'd memorized the book you would've obtained this boost in power, just as I and Luna have. You would've bathed in the richness of it." She threw out her wings to take flight again. "But it appears you've fallen behind on your studies."

Twilight lashed out, "Give me back my Swatch!" She shot a bolt of raw energy at Celestia with the flash and sky-rupturing beam of a lightning strike.

Celestia flicked her horn to the side, deflecting the death-ray like a mirror refracts light. The ray zipped down the street and blew-up a fleeing pedestrian. Family members gathered by and cried in terror before fleeing again themselves.

"Look what you've done!" exclaimed Twilight as she pointed to the gore below.

"It's not like you'd spare anypony anyways," responded Celestia.

"True-" said Twilight, "But it's out of character for you."

Celestia shut her eyes solemnly and nodded. "This is what Ulysses will do to you." There was a slight pause. "And it will do this to you as well!" She fired a red ray of death at Twilight that shot her out of the air like a clay pigeon. A smoke trail followed behind as she dived muzzle-first into Ponyville Plaza.

Twilight's vision was double-crossed and blurred, and her mouth tasted like dirt. There was a muffled shouting from around her, somewhere - she couldn't depict where - calling her name frightfully. Twilight! Twilight! Twilight!

She now looked up to Celestia, instead of down at her. She stood mighty and vane above everypony else as she always has. Now she wore Twilight's prized Swatch, soaking in its glory. She was so beautiful with it around her horn, and Twilight wasn't...

Twilight had searched through space and time to find the Swatch. She didn't imagine she'd ever find something so magnificent as it, of course: the inspiration for such beauty had never been revealed to her. Seeing the Swatch first the first time through the portal in her tower was like seeing color itself for the first time; being colorblind and then seeing a rainbow. She remembered being scared at first - even horrified - but bewildered and raptured off her hooves with delight. It was better to look at the Swatch than to hear the gentle call of her mother's voice.

She couldn't stand not to have it - she used all of her wits and tricks to reach through time, space, and the dew-essences of reality to acquire the Swatch. It was funny, she realized - she would never have learned it was called a Swatch if she didn't hear the strange creatures around adoring it themselves. No creature alive would ever appreciate the Swatch as much as she did. She had to get the Swatch back, no matter what.

Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and even Pinkie Pie gathered to Twilight's side. They grabbed her, crying her name and asking if she was alright.

"Twi," began Applejack, "You got to snap out of this. Just let go of the watch, it's not that important!"

Fluttershy added with tears, "Nopony else needs to get hurt. We can still be friends, we forgive you. Just stop fighting!"

"We just want our old friend back," said Pinkie Pie. She had a bandage covering her flank, where her cutie mark was. "We want the old Twilight."

Celestia had a grave look on her face. "You're not responsible enough to enjoy this Swatch, Twilight. I'm going to keep this until you're ready, once you've done your duty and memorized the entirety of Ulysses."

Twilight gathered the last bits of her focus back to assess the situation. Her friends were nearby, wanting to help her and make things right. Celestia had the Swatch around her horn, wearing it proudly and wanting to keep it until she memorized that cursed book. But her friends cared about her: laughter, generosity, loyalty, honesty, and whatever Fluttershy represented. There was a quiet around it all - she could feel their eyes scanning over her, the breeze in her mane, and their heartbeats pumping together and hoping that the next choice Twilight made would be a humble one.

She frowned up at Celestia. Celestia let down her wings and prepared her horn for a final flash. Her friends clung to her, pleading, "Don't!" Twilight wasn't sure who they were crying to. Then she grinned and nodded meekly. Celestia's tenson broke and her horn stopped glowing.

Twilight at last announced, "I don't need to memorize Ulysses to obtain powers like yours, Princess Celestia."

The Sun Princess raised an eyebrow. "Then without those powers you can never be the true Princess of Friendship. Do you know what kind of chaos that would cause? The title of Princess of Friendship would default to Cadence, who already finished memorizing earlier this week. Do know what she'd become?" Celestia added with a slight burst of panic, "The Princess of Friendship with Benefits!

You have to keep reading Twilight, or I'll have to tear you down and find a new disciple. Don't think I can't replace you as easily as you replace Spike every other week."

Twilight's friends gasped in horror, "What?"

Twilight contained herself just a moment longer, starring at the dirt between her hooves. It would end now. "I don't need you," she said, "And I don't need Ulysses, either...“ She looked back up at Celestia, eyes glowing white. "Because I have my friends’ wills." Her horn glowed once more and her friend's eye's rolled to the back of their skulls and their bodies fell limp against the ground. From their mouths came their last breaths. They glowed with the colors of their owner's coats.

Celestia shocked back, charging her own horn for a spell of her own. "What have you done?" she asked her.

"Shetland the Stubborn's infamous spell: The Eternal Wills," said Twilight. The colored last breaths of her friends wills lofted by her head and she breathed them in through her nostrils. "I am now the Elements of Harmony."

Her teacher threw her horn forward and fired a pulsating beam of energy. The flare from the shot ignited the thatching beneath Celestia. The shockwave moved the clouds above Ponyville, rippling like water in a pond when a rock is tossed in.

A pink shield surrounded Twilight Sparkle iotas before the beam hit. The beam struck hard against the shield, but the beam deflected in all directions, like a tsunami rushing against a tall island but crashing loudly and falling away. The bodies of her friends were burned and pulled away with the rush, but Twilight in her shield remained.

At last, Twilight projected a magical beam from the shield to combat Celestia's beam. It forded against Celestia’s, pushing through and overcame her. When it struck the Sun Princess, a cry was shortly snuffed-out by the beam’s explosion. Where Celestia was stricken, the beam continued at the speed of light, parted the clouds, and lit up the sky before disappearing through the atmosphere. Twilight ceased fire, letting down her soundproof shield to silence.

She found Celestia behind the house where she stood before. She was missing her right hind-leg and tail - almost all of the rest of her was burned bare or charred like grilled steak from the heat. She was choking back sobs of suffering through her teeth. One remaining eye watched coldly as Twilight approached with calm steps. Most importantly, Twilight's Swatch around Celestia’s horn was unharmed.

Without any cry from Celestia, Twilight levitated the Swatch carefully off from her horn and set it around her own. Twilight smiled happily, looking at herself in the reflection of the house's window to see how nice it looked on her. She looked beautiful with the red device around her horn, but when she heard its subtle ticking above her, she felt like a goddess.

"I’ve brought you up from a foal," Celestia struggled to say, "I've given you a home, I taught you how to master spells" She coughed repeatedly until a clot of blood spat out into the dirt. Her teeth were bloody and her breathing was becoming shallower and shallower. "I've given you everything. I made you... All I have left to give you... is my life... "

"Well, if you insist," responded Twilight brightly. A lazer-beam projected from her horn and cut along Celestia's neck to swiftly decapitate her. Her body stopped spurting out blood three second after. Then Ponyville was silent again.

Twilight leapt with joy, shouting ecstatically over her reclaimed Swatch. She jumped around in circles, cheering and cheering, "Yes! Yes! Yes!" She was so excited for her Swatch the blood rushed to her head and she nearly tipped over. Flashbacks of her earlier life - getting to become Celestia's student, getting her cutie mark - were all overshadowed by this moment. What she believed from the start was true: you didn't need friends when you had your Swatch.

"Oh my Faust-" gasped a mortified voice from behind.

Knowing the timing of these things, Twilight didn't have to turn around to understand that Luna had arrived on the scene fifteen minutes late as usual. She turned around, and as expected, Luna was standing before her.

Her face was downcast, eyes flickering between Twilight, the burnt corpses of her friends in the Plaza, and Celestia's body beside her. She sprinted to Celestia's body and collapsed beside it, breaking into a wild, long, cry.

Twilight stepped back watching the event unfold. Between shrieks and chokes, Luna begged her, "What hath thou done?"

"She started it," said Twilight, "If she wanted to live, she wouldn't have stolen my Swatch."

Luna composed herself to a quiet sniffle and sob before saying, "Yes, the Swatch... "

Twilight knew there was going to be another conflict. She quietly charged another spell.

Luna stood up from her sister’s body - a big bloody dash stained her coat and chestpiece - and faced Twilight Sparkle. Her eyes were glowing white and her lunar mane seemed to rise like a gas. "You're finished!"

The wind began blowing and storm clouds appeared from nowhere as she raised into the sky. The pebbles on the earth trembled. Twilight watched it all with up-raised head. A blackened aura appeared around Luna and wrapped itself around her like a dozen blankets. It consumed her, screeching like a wild dying thing in its last moments. As soon as it had begun it was over, and Nightmare Moon was laughing maniacally.

"I'll tear you in two, Twilight Sparkle!" swore the hoarse mare with a coat as black as midnight.

"Banished to the sun!" she cheered. Her horned flashed and Nightmare Moon disappeared. The clouds vanished, the wind stopped blowing, and the earth stopped shaking. A million-or-so miles away, Luna was burning alive and no one would hear her screams.

Some ponies started to wander back into the Plaza. They'd brought hoes, baseball bats, and pitchforks with them as weapons. They stalked quietly, though Twilight was well aware of their presence. They all gathered around the bodies of the Elements and whispered frightened things amongst one another. Twilight stepped back out into the Plaza, delightedly grinning.

"I'm glad you all decided to return," she began.

They took their gazes from the bodies to look at Twilight. Some raised their weapons, preparing for the worst. Beneath the furled brows, Twilight saw hurt and confusion. Most of all, they were hoping what they could deduce was all faulty reasoning, and that Twilight was as innocent as they were.

"What happened, Twilight?" asked a member from the crowd.

"That doesn't matter," continued Twilight. "What matters is that I have my Swatch back and you're all here. Now I don't have to chase you down!" He clapped her hooves together in approval.

Scootaloo stepped out from the crowd. "Twilight, what's going on?"

The shield over Ponyville returned once more. The cries of terror and confusion resumed. They stepped back from her, yet aimed their makeshift weapons in her direction.

"It's just a precaution, everypony."

"A precaution for what?" asked Cheerilie from inside the crowd.

"Since you all know about my Swatch, you're going to have to die."

Mr. Cake galloped out form the crowd at Twilight with the butcher’s knife again. "This has gone on long enough!" he muttered out as he strikes.

Before he could strike at her face, Twilight flew back into the sky. Her horn glowed bright again and a new star formed above her. The pegasi in Ponyville followed after as fast they could, armed with makeshift spears and farm tools. Twilight let down a hydrant of brilliant flames upon them and they were destroyed, swept away without smoke or ashes. The beam that swept over continued down into Ponyville and incinerated everything it touched. The fires rose high and the smoke was white - everything was burned so purely.

*

When there was nothing but ashes left of Ponyville, save for her empty friendship castle, she retired to it and began work on restoring Spike and Owlowiscious. The Princesses of the day and night were missing, and so the celestial bodies stayed still in the sky. Her two servants were restored in what was perceivably an hour's time. She adjusted their minds to have less wild thoughts of freedom and meaning, and instead ask more questions relating to cleaning the castle. Though Spike didn't have to deliver messages anymore, he was still good for dusting. Owlowiscious was made a bit brighter, and in time, she decommissioned Spike and replaced him with another Owlowiscious.

Canterlot was in a panic by the time Princess Twilight Sparkle arrived to assume the positions of their missing princesses. At the coronation ceremony, she accepted the positions with honor and pride. Later she would go on to begin her campaign of uniting all of Equestria under a single leadership, establishing the Equestrian Empire. From the time of Equestria's nationalization, it would descend further and further into a secretive totalitarian state. Imports and exports would be totally ceased, ponies would work for the workers state, and political dissidents - such as the Apple family - would be quietly removed from society to work in the prison camps until they changed their minds. To brighten things up, Twilight announced that the Equestrian Empire would become a democracy, where ponies could vote for selected leaders. The only option to vote for was Twilight Sparkle, which she promised would change if she ever found anypony worthy of competing with.

*

Emperor Sparkle walks through towering corridors with her automatic bodyguards following close behind her. It’s very early in the morning – or very late at night – the moon is going low, but there’s no trace of the sun yet. She has unclothed herself of the royal garments that she wears while the Grand Palace was is in its public hours; now she wears midnight-blue cotton pajamas.

They arrive to enormous double-doors, where large knockers of Twilight’s cutie-mark hang on each one. There are hexes over the doors – much like the ones she placed in her early years – that will adequately fill the place of her bodyguard’s protection. She turns to dismiss them.

“You may wait out here until I return.” Her voice hasn’t aged a day past her first years of marehood.

The guards bow with swift synchronization, then pivot on their head legs to face the rest of the corridor. They’re quiet, still, subtly ticking like grandfather clocks. The red glares in their visors scan deeply over the floors, walls, windows, and ceilings. Twilight looks back to the doors and opens their massive frames with her magic. She enters her library.

There are two public libraries in Canterlot: the Worker’s Public Library, which is small as many of the books have been censored; and the Grand Canterlot Palace’s library, which is vast and restricted to the governmental elite. There is a second library in Canterlot Castle that very few in Canterlot know about and no pony else has access to.

She asked the architects of the palace specifically to include a library amidst the top floors of the castle. The plans for the new library were that it would be four times bigger than the previous one in her friendship castle. It would also come complete with two fireplaces, a vanity, secret compartments for storage of her more valuable possessions, and particularly, a fully equip kitchen. When the palace was finished, she mercifully banished everypony involved on the library’s construction, so that they would never be able to tell any pony else about the library, or design another one like it. When all of her books had been transported into the library, those ponies involved were banished as well, having been in possession of illegal content. For the first hour spent in her library she enchanted the walls, the ceilings, floors, fireplaces, and everything else except the books so that nothing would be able to ever enter here without being incinerated or turned inside-out. As time passed, without notice to anypony else, she installed a dining table in there as well.

The doors shut behind her when she stepped through. The fireplaces came alit with a soft burn that cast flickers of yellow light over her. The air was still warm from last she visited. She clopped her hooves together and called out to the library, “Spike! Come here!”

An enchanted statue of Spike entered her presence from around a library’s shelf. Its eyes were blank and its expression unmoved. It stopped at a measured distance from her, bowed, and then awaited orders.

“Fetch me a roast,” said Twilight. “I think I’ll have the thighs tonight.”

It bowed and left without words. Its joints grinded faintly as it walked back around the corner and left her sight.

Twilight walked to the opposite end of the library, towards a tall curtained window where moonlight’s grey rays broke through. Beneath the window, on an oak pedestal, sat an oak chest wrapped in iron bars. A black-iron lock clung tightly to it. The chest was the most heavily enchanted item in this castle. If anypony were to enter within twice-leg’s reach of the box, a bolt of lightning would strike from the chest and destroy the offender. She never questioned that this library was the most dangerous room in the entire castle, made even more dangerous by the box. She looked at it sweetly and placed her hoof over the lock.

“You may open now,” she spoke to it. The lock undid itself and fell to the wood with a thud.

She opened the lid of the chest to see her Swatch resting on a red silk pillow. The silk glimmered with an unearthly radiance, glowing out of its own essences like a ruby. The Swatch humbled the box.

She removed the Swatch from the pillow and the diamond tiara from her head in a levitation field and switched them out. She set the Swatch around her horn with a careful snugness. Her heart fluttered when she heard its familiar ticking again; she could feel its subtle movements around her horn, against her forehead. It was a timelessly thrilling experience.

She turned around to notice Spike finishing the preparation of the dining table. A glass of red wine and a freshly poured glass glimmered besides an empty dinner plate, where silverware shined beside it. Now I may dine in regality, she thought.

Spike pulled back the chair for her, and she sat in it. With aid of a stepping stool, it set a freshly roasted swine thigh on the table. It took a serrated knife and fork and began cutting slices off and placed them carefully onto her plate. When three slices were set down, and it served a side of roasted carrots (as they went well with swine), Spike stepped down and left her sight.

Twilight, conscious of her precious Swatch, cut a slice of pork-thigh and tried a bite. Excellently done, as always.

End.

Author's Note

Yep.