Nona - Is It True What They Say About Humans?

“Quit laughing, already!” I growled at Nona as I eyed her over my morning copy of the Ponyville Picayune.

“I can’t help it!” she giggled, “It’s just too funny!”

I took a sip of my coffee, grimaced. What was this shit made of, anyway? Did ponies even have taste buds? I set my cup down.

“So, she really threw you out of her house naked?” she asked, doing everything she could to not burst out laughing, again.

“Yeah, she did so fuck me, okay?” I growled, returning to the news, wishing Nona would just disappear. I peeked at her over the edge of the parchment.

“So, did you ever pull that fucking ad out of the paper?” I groused.

“Oops!” she said, throwing her hand up to her mouth, her eyes darting, “I.. kind of forgot.”

“What?!” I shouted, “I asked you three mornings in a row, now! Oh, fuck me!”

I threw my paper on the table and stomped angrily out onto the back porch, plopped myself down in a lawn chair, almost fell on my ass when it started to tip over.

“Fuckin’ bunch’a bullshit!” I groused, as I crossed my arms and scowled at the pansies who looked like they wanted to start singing to me. Stupid singing flowers! I was in no mood. I felt like going over and pissing on them!

“Um... are you okay?” came a soft, sweet and very gentle voice from my left. I turned to see Fluttershy standing on the grass nearby looking like a whipped dog. She took a furtive step closer. I eyed her angrily. She wilted, took a step backward, looked at me like she was about to turn and run.

“I’m sorry,” I sighed, running my hand through my hair, “it’s not a good morning for me.”

“I can see that,” she said, relaxing a little and looking at me hopefully, “so, is there anything I can do to make it better for you?”

Dear, sweet, wonderful Fluttershy! Of all the ponies I knew in Ponyville she was the only one who could break me out of even my worst moods.

Just then a butterfly fluttered down, settled on the tip of her nose and rested there. This made her giggle sweetly. Seeing that made my black funk disappear instantly. I couldn’t help it, I smiled.

She gently coaxed the butterfly onto her finger, lifted her hand above her head. A moment later the little creature fluttered away. She watched it go as if it were the most amazing thing she’d ever seen. To her it probably was. That’s how she was with animals. Everything was amazing to her.

“So I guess you heard about AJ and Rarity?” I flinched.

“Um, yeah... that’s why I’m here,” she said giving me the purest, most innocent smile of sympathy, “I wanted to tell you I’m sorry that happened to you”

Okay, that did it! I got up, stepped off the porch, stepped over to her, crouched down, threw my arms around her and hugged her. She hugged me back warmly. I could feel the smile on her face.

So, all of a sudden I’m thinking, ‘why am I with this bitch, Nona, when I could be with Fluttershy?’ Well, considering that Nona would suck my soul out through eyeballs if I ever left her was a serious consideration. That and she’d probably kill - and possibly eat - any female I might decide to leave her for. So, yeah, there was that. Better to stay where I was and remain alive.

Just then Nona stepped out onto the back porch. She was carrying a suitcase. I stared at her, surprised.

“The fuck?!,” I asked, startled, “Where the fuck are you going?”

“I’m going to go to Boston, Earth, to visit with your mother for a couple of weeks” she said, casually, then, “oh, hey,” she waved casually to the little pink-haired filly who just stared back at her with her mouth hanging open, confused.

“What?! When did you decide that?!”, I asked, feeling like I was about to come unglued.

“Look...”, she said, cautiously, “I just think we need to take some time away from each other, okay? I mean, with all the weirdness going on it’s a bit much for me.”

“Yeah, well, I wasn’t the one who put that stupid fucking ad in the paper!”, I snapped back at her. She flinched. “I’ll see you in about two weeks,” she said.

What the fuck? No kiss or hug goodbye? Just... gone? Like that? I got seriously scared at the thought that Nona might actually be leaving me!

Okay, yeah, I should have run up to her, should have grabbed her and kissed her, should have begged her to stay but I didn’t. I don’t know why I didn’t but I didn’t, okay? Oh, fuck me!

“What about that ad in the paper?!”, I groaned.

“Today’s the last day,” she said, “so don’t worry about it.” She said as she turned and headed back into the house.

Blinking with shock I plopped down on my ass, ran my hand through my hair, poor Fluttershy was staring at me like she was going to start crying.

Well, wasn’t this just a fine, perfect morning in pony paradise? One minute Nona’s laughing her ass off at me, the next she’s walking out? Holy shit! Was she coming back? Part of me hoped so, part of me hoped she’d stay with my bitch mom from hell.

I looked back at Fluttershy, closed my eyes and shook my head. She hugged me sweetly.

“I’m... I’m really sorry that happened,” she said.

“Fuck it!”, I muttered with a wave of my hand, “we didn’t get along all that great, anyway. I should have seen this coming. I’m not the easiest guy to live with.”

A moment later I heard the distant thud of the front door slamming followed by the clack of hooves on concrete.

Fluttershy rose like she was getting ready to go. I looked at her with an expression that said I hoped she’d stay.

“Well, I, um, just wanted to cheer you up if I could,” she said, “I’m sorry you’re having such a rough day.”

We heard the sound of hooves softly padding toward us on grass. I turned toward the sound to see who it could be. Maybe it was Nona coming back to apologize to me? Maybe?

“Hey, like, I hope you don’t mind but I was getting tired of waiting so I thought I’d come back and see what was happening?”, came the soft, mellow voice of a mint green filly with pale amethyst eyes who was now walking up to us.

She wore a yellow, flower patterned head scarf over red, two-tone dread locks that hung down like fat, hairy sausages. Her tail was dreaded in the same way and was decorated with small wild flowers. She looked at me with bloodshot eyes as she stepped up to us and sat down.

“Oh, hey, woah! Are you okay?”, she said to me, “your flow is really harsh. All your chakras look really green and nasty.”

Fluttershy looked at her, amused, then turned back to me.

“This is my friend, Tree Hugger”, she said giggled, “I hope you don’t mind but I thought it’d be okay to bring her with me.”

“Meh, it’s cool”, I shrugged, then, “Nice to meet you.”

“Righteous!,” she smiled, extending a hand. I took it, shook it gently. “Ooh, nice touch!” she smiled as she eyed me and licked her lips.

“Oh, hey! I brought something with me!” she smiled at Fluttershy as she opened a heavy, brown leather shoulder bag and took out what looked for all the world like a bong along with a small packet of some kind of leafy, green substance. Fluttershy smiled, her eyes began to sparkle expectantly. “I was hoping you’d bring some of that with you,” she smiled.

“What’s that?,” I asked, actually curious. Wait... Did they really have Weed in Equestria? Fuck, man! Nobody ever told me! All this time and I never knew! Oh, fuck me! I forced a smile.

“This is some righteous herb”, smiled Tree Hugger as she took a pinch of the green substance, packed it into the little bowl, “This shit will utterly obliterate any bad energy on the planet. It’s totally cosmic!”

I suppressed an urge to bust out laughing at what I thought to be a hippy parody sitting in front of me but I didn’t want to insult Fluttershy since she was always so nice to me.

Tree hugger then took a little cardboard box from her bag, opened it and took out a small wooden stick with a red, rounded tip.

“Sulphur-free matches! Righteous!”, she grinned as she held it up and looked at it with admiration before striking it on the side of the box.

Putting the end of the bong to her lips, she put the flame to the little bowl and took a long, hard pull. The bowl glowed a bright orange as she sucked hard and deep, held her breath, her body convulsing as she suppressed some seriously hard coughing.

As I watched her eyes rolled back in her head and closed as she fell backward onto the grass.

Fluttershy caught the bong as Tree Hugger fell, held it out to me, smiling. “Tree hugger turned me on to this a couple of months ago,” she smiled, “it’ll make you feel a lot better.”

I took the bong, sniffed at it. It didn’t smell like any weed I knew. I looked down at a supine and blissful Tree hugger who was now slowly releasing her breath in a long, soft coo. Fluttershy smiled, nodded, urging me on.

I shrugged, lit the bong and took a long hit and held it. My body suddenly exploded in spasms of coughing. My lungs felt like they were going to explode as I struggled to hold that hit. I wasn’t about to look like a wimp in front of these two so, gritting my teeth, my eyes watering now, I held on to that hit for as long as I could until I felt I was going to pass out from lack of air.

I felt Fluttershy grab the bong as I fell. She was giggling hard. The next instant I heard a hard sucking sound as she took a hit, too.

That’s when the shit hit the inside of my head like a wooden mallet wrapped in silk and velvet. My body went completely limp and I felt myself drifting backwards in slow motion. I felt like a feather slowly floating down, touching the ground so gently I almost didn’t feel it.

Then everything sort of turned at a weird angle as colors began to explode brightly in my brain. I opened my eyes. everything looked like I was seeing it through a fish-eye lense. I gasped, startled, as the most amazing feeling of calm and serenity swept through me like I’d just shot up a hit of morphine.

“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu..,” I groaned slowly, letting go of the hit, watching the silver-gray smoke curl out of my mouth and float over my head in a thin cloud.

“See?” slurred Tree Hugger, still laying prone on the ground, “Shit fixed you right up, didn’t it?” Fluttershy was giggling uncontrollably.

“So, who goes first?” asked Tree Hugger to no one in particular, or so I thought. Wait... ‘who goes first?’ What the fuck were they talking about, ‘who goes first?’ My head spun.

“Why don’t you go first?” slurred Fluttershy, “I can wait. Besides, it’ll be fun to watch”

Wait... what?! Watch? What the fuck was going on? I tried really hard to wonder but I just felt too mellow to give a shit.

Feeling fingers at my crotch, I opened my eyes and looked up to find a Tree Hugger fumbling with my zipper, opening my fly. Her eyes were twinkling and she was licking her lips. I glanced over to see a very aroused Fluttershy laying back on an elbow, her legs spread. She was slowly and gently rubbing her now very wet pussy.

All I could do was lay there and stare, like I was some kind of detached witness to it all.

“Ooh, pretty!” I heard Tree Hugger coo delightedly as she freed my cock, took it out and examined it, “I didn’t know they looked like this! Righteous!” I closed my eyes and laid my head back on the grass.

I felt my body explode in an amazing rush that started in my cock and quickly spread out through my body like ripples in a pond as I felt soft, supple lips wrap around my cock, felt it slide into a wet and very hot mouth.

“Mm!” I heard Tree Hugger moan as she took me balls deep. Holy shit! She was deep throating me! Just then my ears caught the soft, wet sounds of Fluttershy fapping faster, the air filled with her sweet moans. It was the hottest thing I’d ever heard in my life!

Or, maybe it was the effect of that weird, Equestrian weed? Whatever it was I realized that everything I was experiencing felt intensified ten thousand times. It was like I could feel, hear and see every nerve in my body dancing and tingling. It was fucking awesome!

“Okay, I got him hard for you, Fluttershy”, cooed Tree Hugger, “Your turn!”

I opened my eyes to see Tree Hugger straddling my thighs, facing me. She was leaning back on her hands, positioning herself to take me.

Fuck! The bitch had bright red blackberry bushes growing in her armpits! They looked like they needed to be trimmed with a weed whacker but her pubes were shaved into a perfect Yin Yang symbol? What the fuck was up with that? All I could do was stare as she bit her lip, rolled her eyes and slid easily down onto me.

Just then Fluttershy straddled my head and settled her ass down on my face. Her pussy was throbbing, dripping, her little clit pulsing.

I knew what she wanted so I started licking her pussy, felt her body shudder violently as she moaned loudly at the touch of my tongue on her pulsing clit.

It had to be the drugs slowing me down but just then it hit me; I was having a threesome with the sweetest - and according to me- prettiest pony in Ponyville and her hippy friend? Right in my back yard no less! Yeah, the morning had definitely done a one eighty for the better as I felt Tree Hugger start thrusting and bouncing hard on my cock.

Then I heard the moans and wet licking and sucking noises. Fuckin’ Ay! They were making out over me! And, from the sound of it they were really getting into it!

Not more than a few seconds later I felt Tree Hugger bouncing on me like a jack hammer.

“Ooh, baby! Give me your life force! I want it!”, she groaned  as I felt her body convulse in a hard climax. Fluttershy’s ass was rocking hard over my face as I was licking her clit. She was squealing in high-pitched squeaks as her pussy juice blasted my face in a hard, pulsing climax.

That was it! I couldn’t hold it back any longer. I exploded, shouting, blowing a huge load inside of Tree Hugger who was pressing down hard on me, now, ready to take it all.

“Gnnnaaaaaaaa!”, Tree Hugger screamed out as her body convulsed violently in a stream of explosive climaxes. Fluttershy was shrieking as she kept climaxing and blasting my face with her pussy juice.

A moment later we all lay on the grass gasping and tingling. Fluttershy tried to say something but couldn’t speak, her words falling out of her mouth in an incoherent mutter. Tree Hugger just kept weakly groaning ‘righteous’.

I opened my eyes just in time to see a popping flash and a puff of smoke, looked back to see a now upside-down Discord glowering down at us.

“Oh, different friends for different things?” he whined angrily at Fluttershy, “I thought I was your lover?”

I looked down - or was it up - to see his enormous horse cock limply hanging down to his knees.

“I told you before, Discord! You’re too big for me! You almost killed me that one time we did it!”, frowned Fluttershy at him.

Suddenly Tree Hugger got this wildly excited look on her face, licked her lips.

“I’ll take some of that!” Tree Hugger happily shouted as she leapt to her hooves and tackled a now shrieking, yelping Discord to the ground.

“Um, we better go! This won’t be pretty!” said a now worried looking Fluttershy as she stood up, grabbed my hand and started dragging me toward my back door.

A moment later me and a now frightened Fluttershy stepped into my house, slammed the door behind us, leaned on it.

No sooner did we close that door but we heard a sound like someone rapidly and briskly slapping two large steaks together accompanied by Tree Huggers screams of “Fuck yeah! Give it all to me,  dragon boy! I can take all of your righteous male meat!” This was also accompanied by Discord’s terrified shrieks  of “Take it easy! Not so rough! You’ll break it!”

Fluttershy looked at me, embarrassed. “She’s... um... a size queen” she muttered as the back yard was now filled with the sound of screams, shouts and something that sounded like gushy, wet explosions.

***

Later me, Fluttershy and Tree Hugger sat in my kitchen drinking beer and eating chocolate tofu cookies. Discord, screaming in terror, had vanished in a poof of smoke as soon as he could get free of Tree Hugger’s insane sexual frenzy. Yeah, Tree Hugger looked totally satisfied, although I’d noticed she was walking funny.

“Dude! That was so cosmically intense!” she cooed as she stuffed another cookie in her mouth, chugged more beer, “do you think I can get him to do that with me again?”

“Considering how much you scared him I doubt it” said Fluttershy, who was now sitting on my lap snuggling with me, “In fact, I kind of doubt he’ll come back to Ponyville at all after that.”

“Bummer!” frowned Tree Hugger, “he was just what I needed. Too bad I won’t get any more of that.”

Noticing all the bottles were empty, Tree Hugger went to the fridge, took out another six pack, set it on the table then, looking at us, giggled sweetly.

“You two look so harmonious”, she said, “maybe you should, like, think about staying together?”

“I wouldn’t mind”, cooed Fluttershy, closing her eyes and nestling into my shoulder, “but what about Nona? I mean, I don’t want to steal her guy from her.”

I frowned, suddenly remembering that she’d left with a suitcase earlier that day.

“I don’t know if she’s coming back”, I said, grabbing another beer, “for all I know she’s gone for good.”

“Bummer!” said Tree Hugger but I could see she wasn’t serious as she popped the top and chugged another bottle of beer.

“Hey, how many of those have you had?” I asked, arching an eyebrow at her.

“Two. But I broke the first one”, she joked, laughing.

Yeah, as if that weird Equestrian weed wasn’t enough we were now all sitting in my kitchen getting shit faced. Fuck it? Why not. There wasn’t anyone here to bitch at me about it, now.

“Excuse me but I’ve got to, like, take care of a bio function. Where’s your bathroom?”, Tree Hugger asked as she stumbled to her feet, almost fell.

“Woah! Easy!”, I slurred. I would have jumped up to catch her except for two things; Fluttershy was now softly snoring in my lap and the room was spinning in a kind of weird, wobbly way.

“Yeah, you two look way groovy”, smiled Tree Hugger as she stumbled off to the bathroom. A moment later I heard the sound of violent retching followed by, “Ack! Bummer!”

“Sorry about your bathroom floor”, muttered Tree Hugger apologetically as she stumbled back to her chair, plopped down into it, “I mean I’ll, like, clean it up for you later.”

“Don’t worry about it”, I said dismissively with a wave of my hand. I was too blitzed to give a shit. She could have blown the roof off of the house and I wouldn’t have cared.

I looked down at the peacefully sleeping Fluttershy. Her face was angelic. I don’t think I’d ever seen her look more beautiful.

“I had no idea Fluttershy was bi,” I said quietly, not wanting to wake her.

“Well, neither did she until I showed her,” said Tree Hugger sipping her beer now, “I mean, she was curious but wasn’t sure about it at first so I seduced her. She was instantly into that bag. It was totally cosmic.”

I smiled drunkenly, looked down at Fluttershy, who was now snoring loudly

Carefully but clumsily, I rose from my seat and carried Fluttershy to the living room couch, laid her down on it as gently as  I could. Going to a closet I got a blanket, returned to the couch and softly laid it over her. She stirred, smiled, snuggled into the blanket.

Just then the soft sound of hooves on carpet. I turned to see Tree Hugger staggering toward me smiling. She paused next to me, weaving unsteadily. She looked down on Fluttershy with a drunken smile.

“Oh, wow!” she slurred, “she looks so angelic. She really is a truly cosmic being, you know. Like a really old soul.”

I looked at her and smiled, just as shit faced as she was but thought it was nice that she’d said that about her friend.

She grabbed my hand, looked at me with an odd, crooked smile.

“I’m in a mood”, she slurred as she dragged me toward the stairs. I was too drunk to care what she was doing so I just followed as we staggered up to my bedroom.

She pushed me back on the bed, my legs hanging over the edge. Kneeling down she started sucking me again. my cock sprang instantly to throbbing life.

“It’s kind of small but it’s really nice!” she smiled, holding  my cock in her hand, looking at it with admiration as she got up on the bed next to me. Yeah, she’d just had Mister-Hung-Like-Godzilla, Discord, so I guessed anything would seem small by comparison. Fuck me! I didn’t care.

“Come on!” she slurred, tugging at me to pull myself up onto the covers fully.

Without a word she straddled my stomach, positioned herself and took me full into her without the slightest resistance, even though she was tight as a virgin.

“Oh, yeah”, she cooed as she closed her eyes and started  gently rocking on me. I threw my hands behind my head, closed my eyes and just let her go to town.

A moment later she fell over on me passed out cold with me still inside her. Yeah, she’d had way too much beer and I suspected she wasn’t used to it.

Shrugging, I closed my eyes and let myself drift off into drunken sleep not caring that Tree Hugger was sprawled on top of me. Fuck it! Nona wasn’t here, probably wasn’t coming back so why should I give a shit? No, that wasn’t true. I did give a shit. In fact, as I lay there with my head spinning drunkenly it began to dawn on my alcohol fogged mind just how much I really did care about Nona, how much I found myself missing her. I quietly cried myself to sleep.