Fallout Equestria: Of Quills and Blades

Chapter 1: Wrong Book at the Wrong Time
"My dearest, most faithful student Twilight. You know that I value your diligence and that I trust you completely...but you simply must stop reading those dusty old books!"

Come and listen to a tale woven true
A warning to all
Both hero and coward too

Do not approach the castle of sisters Two
I said to the crowd in the square
Your ears heard not, thinking words false instead of true
In armor, with sword, you entered the forest fair

Do not approach the castle of Sisters Two
You took the challenge, didn’t you?
Someone would pay the price but who?
To lay its secrets bare; the Castle of Sisters Two

*** *** ***

Awake. Something wet. Blurry words. Falling?

And so I woke up. Where was I? Oh, work. The multicolored walls stared back at me. Covered from top to bottom in paintings and various depictions of stories and historical events. I could not help but think that, when first waking up, the walls looked more akin to the result of someone’s spoiled lunch than a work of. “ugh, this place could really use a little blank space. The walls are far too busy. Just a little blank grey square. Right there. In front of my chair. That would be lovely”

I looked around the room seeing the various exhibits. The Fall of Big Macintosh, the Establishment of the Ministries, the highly controversial display about the falling of the bombs called Judgment Day. I was certain that last one was created by somepony desperate to get his work some exposure and, well, it worked. Now if only he remembered to sign his work with a magical signature. We have had easily 15 or 20 ponies all claiming to be its creator. Needless to say, anonymously dropping off your work at the museum in the middle of the night without so much as a note on the thing is not the best idea if you want credit.

I stretched my front legs and shook myself. “ughhh, what time is it? What was I working on?” I looked over to the desk I had recently tumbled away from and saw the ordered chaos of notes, writing, and a book open up to page 12. It had a poem in it. I grabbed the book with my magic—that reminds me. I never did describe myself did I? Sorry about that. I am an average sized unicorn mare with a pale yellow coat and what my textbooks describe as “sky blue” eyes. My mane is a light orange with white stripes highlighting… I don’t know. My head? I am not really a fashion filly. Anyway, where was I? Oh yes.

I grabbed the book with my magic as it was enveloped by a light blue light and floated to me. “Let’s see, what was I using you for again”. As I mused to myself I opened the book to the first page and found a something taped to the inside written in my scrawl of “hoof” writing.

To Do List

1. Refresh the Banishment of Nightmare Moon exhibit

2. Verify poetry book is not in catalogue.

3. Don’t drink any “special” cider. You are working!

4. Finish draft of exhibition piece for tomorrow’s display

Ignoring the fact that the third item was more fitting on a “to don’t list”, oh yes! I forgot. I found that small poetry book stashed in the back of the library. It was smashed into the actual grain of the wood. I am always telling the Overpony that our librarian shoves the books back onto the shelves rather than actually organizing them but he never takes me seriously!

This book was truly a fascinating piece. A poem about someone going to the Castle of Two Sisters to defeat an ancient evil or stop some ritual or something. I don’t know. I haven’t finished it yet. I know it is some sort of tragedy work. Luckily I have plenty of time to write about it as the exhibition is tomorrow.

“Wait” I exclaimed, “what time is it?” as I lifted my pipbuck encased leg to my face.

Yes, I had a pipbuck. Wondrous little things with a built in light, clock, saddle bag management, and, because of the special position of our stable, a spell checker! Yes it had other features but who needed to use those? I checked the time and my pipbuck displayed 11:00 in the morning along with a flashing icon displaying “Pending announcement.”

Announcement? What could this be— I was interrupted by the screeching of a microphone as the overponies voice began blaring through the stable speakers.

“Hello there my little colleagues!” The overpony was notoriously tall and picked up the habit of calling everyone else “little” from reading too many of Celestia’s speeches. “I have a short announcement for you all today. We are moving up all the exhibition’s activities to today due to a major apple sauce spillage in Corridor B. Yes I know, I know. We all were looking forward to having three days off but it just can’t wait that long so instead of three 4 hour sessions over three days we are doing all the sessions today. That will be all!”

Today! Today?!? I haven’t finished anything yet! A blue glow enveloped my notes and I rushed out of the museum towards home. I needed an idea and fast! In retrospect, I probably should have been further along than this anyway but I never think of “should haves” and “could haves” in the face of a deadline.

*** *** ***

The door to the abode of me and parents swooshed open as I galloped in hoping to reach my door before anyone or anything could intercept me but it was far too late. “Well hello there Recap. Busy busy I see. Prepared for the exhibition I imagine? I am oh so excited to see what tale you have to regale us with this time.” The source of the false sincerity was my cousin Spoiler. A filly with a yellow coat like mine but notably darker with a mane whose reddish hue could be comfortably comparable to most warning signs.

“oh, hello Spoiler. Glad to see you.” I hoped that my ability to convey pleasantness around those I found distasteful was far better than my cousin’s as she was either really bad at disguising her disdain or she did it on purpose. Either could be possible. Either is just as grating.

“Oh likewise cousin, always a pleasure to see you busy. I thought you would want to know that me and my father have been working tirelessly to help promote your work. We even got a special spot today for you at the exhibition! Rather than having your work being put in the hat like everyone else’s, yours is guaranteed to be displayed with its own booth and everything! Still won’t get you the attention that your parent’s works tend to garner but I just know your work will be able to shine today”

She. Did. What?!

Trying my best to keep a pleasant demeanor my blue eyes locked with Spoiler’s “umm, cousin. The deadline for everything was just moved up. I am not ready to display anything yet. I told you yesterday that I was going to attempt an all-nighter. You brought me coffee and…” I stopped. “I… don’t remember anything after that. I remember feeling tired and then…”

Only a blind filly could miss the huge grin on Spoiler’s face. “Oh! You don’t have anything ready yet? Well Them’s the breaks cousin! I am sure you can whip up something in the next hour. Well then, tata and good luck. I am sure you won’t need it.” The metal door opened and then shut behind Spoiler as she trotted out.

I was mortified. I had almost no work done and now I was expected to display something in its entirety to the whole stable?!? Well, to be fair it was only those who showed up at my stall at the appointed time for the reading who would see my humiliation but still!

My internal monologue was interrupted by “Is that you my little Summary?” a male voice called out.

“Dad! I told you that using synonyms for my name does not count!”

“Oh I am sorry my little Synonym Bun.”

And there he was; the white maned, dyed, buck with a flamboyant cyan coat to match his self-satisfied grin. This was my dad the great Artistic Liberty. Albeit most ponies called him Art. I usually called him Dad. But right at this moment I called him “you ruiner of the medium! That is one of the worst examples of dialogue I have ever heard! Please don’t say that out loud. I really don’t need any more nicknames than you have already given me”

“Oh you worry far too much Recap. It is inevitable that others be jealous of the one who is Fairest.”

This was my Dad’s constant joke. To this day I don’t know if my dad chose the name Fairest to reference beauty or my Mom chose the name to reference an impartial “Recap” of events. My Dad has told me at least a dozen different reasons for the name and my Mom has apparently been sworn to secrecy. In my opinion, this ongoing joke was a waste of their considerable talents. You would think that he would not utilize my own name to torment me. Ok, not torment.

He is actually kind of funny. I have admitted it all right? Sometimes it just takes time to appreciate it. A lot of time.

“Was that Spoiler that just left?,” he asked, “ I was sure she didn’t have a key.”

At this point he looked at me and his eyes widened in surprise and a hint of amusement.
“You have poetry on your cheek my dear. In the future try not to use your own face to record the works which you find yourself engrossed in; even if that means using your bed for its intended purpose.”

My eyes widened. I had words on my face?! No wonder Spoiler seemed so entertained by me. That cheeky… wait. I had words on my face.
“oh, uhh, well I um” I sighed “I will be in the bathroom” and trotted away.

And there I was. A light yellow coat accented with a white and orange striped mane; My horn poking proudly out from amidst my tousled mane. Well, it was more a mess than it was a mane right now and some of it seemed to adhere to my cheek as a result of my… nap.
“ugh, if Spoiler put something in my coffee she is going to wake up a new and undiscovered hue of brown”

Why did they have to have an apple sauce spill today? For that matter, why do we have giant vats of apple sauce traversing the halls in the first place!

I sat down as a light blue glow enveloped the shower handle.

I stepped into the shower and begin doing what I did with every shower. Making a list of to-dos and examining my life.
“ok, so I need to come up with an original work in two hours. Knowing Spoiler and her parents they will make a big deal about my entry and bring a lot of attention to my presentation. So I need something good as well. Something that will really awe them.”

I washed and thought. An idea had to be there but as I thought images flashed in my mind. Disappointed pony faces as my latest work danced before them. The polite voices declaring “it was fine. It was a good try.” Those many times where they came to me hoping for greatness and I disappointed them. I need something to wow them. Something good enough to make them leave me alone. I don’t want to win, I don’t need to win today. Just for once I want them to go away thinking “That is the Daughter of Artistic Liberty and Total Recall and her work is my favorite in the stable.”

Just once.

Wait, this was a minor competition. The prize was merely some extra cider rations for your family. We had one of these every month!

And then I remembered the poetry book. Smashed into the wooden shelving behind the other books. I had checked the databases. No one has recorded it as being in the library. With it, I can succeed just this once. I can wipe that smile off of Spoiler’s face and I can be the one grinning this time!

I dashed out of the shower still wet and then rushed back in to get a towel. “This book can be my escape. Even if for a fleeting moment I can be free from the chains of their expectations!”

I was elated. I ran back and forth drying and dressing up my mane. Today was the day. I arrived in the entryway and grabbed the small book with my magic. I went towards the machine that every room had. A special device designed to take the entire contents of a written work and digitize it but before I did, I took out a small sticky label and covered the author’s name. In its place I put another name.

“The Castle of Sister’s Two” by Fairest Recap

*** *** ***

There is something truly beautiful about knowing that you outsmarted someone who dislikes you. Something amazing about knowing you will succeed where others expect you to fail. I arrived in one of the smaller atriums where the event was being held. All around me I saw ponies rushing around excitedly and nervously making last minute touch ups to their presentation but not me. I just smiled. I was ready.

After having uploaded the small book and then printing it, I had carefully tied the stacks of paper together while leaving one small excerpt out to be read when the judges requested it of me. I sat at my booth with a somewhat hastily printed banner displaying my name and the title of my book. It wasn’t going to win any awards but that wasn’t what mattered. Today was the day that I was not a disappointment.

It was at this point that I remembered why I hated the exhibitions. The waiting. I sat at my booth trying to look awake and ready to explain everything but, in the end, I laid my head on my hooves and did my best impression of someone pretending to sleep. It was very convincing.

The next thing I experienced was someone shaking me. Why where they shaking me! My eyes opened, blurry images of ponies before me. This wasn’t my room.

And then, the world faded to grey

I saw my Mom in all her orange coated and yellow maned glory shaking me awake as I started, looked around in a panic punctuated by a surprised “EEP” and judicious demonstration of my rather notable ability to leap in the air when surprised. And then color returned as I saw myself fade from existence.

My Mom looked at the fading image and then at me

“You told me you were getting that under control Recap.” She said with her distinctive monotone, “You assured me that you had gotten beyond the point of accidentally casting spells”

I looked into my Mom’s eyes. Stern. Red. No nonsense. Expectant of an answer. “oh, um. I really thought I did Mom” but before I could move into the excuse portion of the explanation I noticed my Mom was not the only one here. My Aunt was there with Spoiler and the current overpony, Short Epilogue. All of them, except for Spoiler, had red and purple sashes on. Judge’s sashes. Oh no, they were the judges. Why was my Mom and the overpony judging such an unimportant competition!?

The overpony cleared his throat, “Ahem, yes. Well, that was quite the show. Dearest Recap, please present us with an excerpt of your work.

For some reason he always got my first name wrong. Fairest isn’t any bit close to Dearest. It also sounds extremely creepy coming from some random somepony.

“oh, yes. Here it is” as my magic enveloped the excerpt and handed it to the judges. It was not until later that I remembered I was supposed to read it. Spoiler was smirking at me. I smiled back. I would win this time.

The overpony took a long time reading the excerpt. He seemed to read over it again. It was then I saw blue magic envelop the rest of the work.

“Recall. Look at this. This is, well, brilliant. I have never read anything regarding the Castle of Celestia and Luna pre-nightmare moon era.” I beamed. My Mom, the overpony, and my aunt all began reading the document with great interest. I had done it. They were happy. They approved! What happened next would end up changing the entire course of my life.

The overpony looked up from my excerpt. “I think we have a winner of the annual exhibition! My compatriots I give you this years victor, Fairest Recap”
My eyes widened in shock as one thought shot through me like lightning splitting the sky “Wait… annual?!”

*** *** ***

Things were coming together. My aunt explained that she and Spoiler got my entry transferred to the annual exhibition. And they didn’t tell me. I was given the time to show up and the place but everypony assumed I knew; And Spoiler bringing me coffee the night before which resulted in me drooling over my book all night was more insidious than I originally thought? It appears years of cutting remarks had finally turned into action. And now here I was smiling as best I could before most of the stable as my plagiarized work was being read before them all.

Understandably, I was not happy and my smile probably looked quite forced. Luckily, most seemed to chalk it up to my being unused to praise. My aunt held her classic nonplussed “I am neither approving not disapproving” look she used whenever something happened she was not prepared to see.

This was overwhelming. So many ponies praising me. Wanting to come and congratulate me. I knew I was saying thank you to multiple ponies and saying all the right things for a function such as this but it wasn’t me speaking. I was on auto pilot.

Green Pony: “You did excellently Recap!”

Blue Pony: “That was superb. Best I heard from these events in years”

White Pony: “Always wonderful to encounter a true original work! What inspired you to write about it?”

Purple Pony: “Magnificent!”
Orange Pony: I love your use of prose!

Yellow Pony: She’s a fraud!
I could concentrate. Who was that? Spoiler. It was spoiler waving the poetry book above her head with the obviously taped on label of “by Fairest Recap” displayed for all to see.

“Well buck.”

Footnote:

New Perk: Eye for the Classics: You have a knack for picking out reading material that is of superior quality. The side of effect of this being you are an excellent skimmer. Doubles the skill points you obtain from reading books! Also encourages bad life choices