Borris the Horris

by LilMac

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random
Length: 579

A short one shot I scuzzed out.

Don't read this. It's a terrible story with terrible direction, terrible character development, a terrible plot, made of terrible thoughts, from a terrible guy who is terrible at this.
Also, I'm pretty sure I put more thought into this description than I did the story.
Which is terrible of me.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-31 23:59:24 UTC

One and Only Ever For This

“There is no way, NO FUCKING WAY, that Celestia would do that to me!” Twilight paced back and forth, on the verge of tears, choking back her rage.

“Well, maybe it was a mistake, sugarcakes, maybe the princess jus didn’t mean fer it tah sound like that. Maybe if ya read it in a diff-“

“NO! It wasn’t a mistake! I know how Princess Celestia writes. She doesn’t make mistakes! This isn’t a mistake! She’s….” The tears rushed forth, stinging her tired eyes. “She’s…done with me!”

Twilight fell to the ground, wings limp with resignation, her tears staining the earth. Applejack, Rarity, and Borris standing over her, cooing words of encouragement that fell upon her deaf ears.

“Twilight, I think Applejack is right. Princess Celestia could never be without you, it’s unthinkable. If it wasn’t a mistake, then it must be a cruel prank. It’s the only way to explain this.” Rarity nudged Twilight with her snout, brushing her mane out of her face with her horn. Twilight looked up to Rarity with her big watery eyes, trying to focus on the blurry image of her radiance. Letting a little smile peek out from under her rain cloud of despair,

“There you are. There’s that beautiful Twilight I know and love. C’mon, sweetie, we’ll figure this out together,” Rarity pulled Twilight onto her left shoulder, helping her up.

“Yeah, we’ll find out who’s responsible fer this, and give’em the what’s what.” Applejack pulled Twilight up on her right shoulder, helping Rarity to walk Twilight forward.

“But….” Twilight swallowed, trying to speak past the haze of tears. “But, who would do such a thing? I can’t think of any-“

“OH! I know zis one! It vus zhe jragons! Zhey are alvays up to no good back in zhe homeland. It muzt be zhe jragons.” The three looked quizzically at Borris, not sure what to make of this information.

“Honey, the dragons here in Equestria ain’t much problems. And they certainly don’t mess themselves intah pony affairs.”

Twilight took the lead now settling herself down. “But he does make me think of someone who might think of this as some honest fun.” She stared at the other two, their looks confirming that they knew exactly who she meant.

“if it is,…him, then we’ve got a serious problem. Twilight, why don’t you take this to Princess Luna and see what she makes of it.” Rarity picked up the letter from Celestia, holding it away from her as if it were poisonous.

“Good Idea. I just hope it’s nothing bad. We can’t afford something terrible happening these days, not with how Equestria’s economy is doing.” Rarity and Applejack nodded in agreement.

“Don’t vorry Tvilight, you know vhat zhey say, is darkest before zhe dawn.”

Twilight squinted at Borris, studying him.

“Actually, it’s pretty light out just before daybreak.”

“Oh, vell, zhe candle burns zhe brightest before it goes out, right?”

“No, candles flicker before the go ut.”

“ah, yes, yes. But a bird in zhe hand is vorth two in zhe boosh.”

"…………………………"

The three just stared at him. “What does that even mean?

Borris hung his head. “I don’t know.”

“Maybe you should just go home Borris.” Applejack patted him on the back, the universal gesture meaning I’m sorry, but kindly get lost.

“……..Okay.” Borris sauntered away, muttering to himself about his incompetence.

Twilight turned back toward Rarity and Applejack.

“Who the fuck was that?”