A Figment of My Imagination

by Immortan Joe

Rating: mature
Tags: Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Human, Comedy, Romance
Length: 7295

Barry Cassidy looked like a typical young adult, wild, fun, a bit immature at times. But in reality he was actually a pretty lax guy, that is until his doctor prescribed him with a certain pill.

Barry Cassidy was a man who has had a pretty sketchy past. On the outside he seems a little weird, immature at times, however on the inside he's actually a pretty chill guy. He's known to keep his personal life to himself and only let out his happy go lucky self. However, one day after meeting a woman named Twilight outside his local bank and receiving his new prescription pills. Barry's life immediately gets turned upside down. Either for the better or worse.

The first time I'm ever attempting something mature, wish me luck.

I'm in the middle of looking/creating my cover art.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-18 13:30:35 UTC

Chapter 1: Barry Cassidy

“God dammit! Cassidy, how the hell do you plan on treating your wife if you can’t make me a good fucking coffee?!” Mrs. Oshika, my boss, slammed her glass onto her desk and reached for her napkin. She dabbed her lips with it while trying to fire an intimidating glare at me.

“Wh-what are you talking about?!” I was on the other end of her office at the copy machine copying last weeks finance reports. “I put a lot of love into that!”

“Love my ass!” She roared, “It tastes like you took a shit in it!”

I gave her a fake look of surprise. “How do know my secret ingredient?”

My boss growled and leaned back in her seat. “Finish what you’re doing and get the fuck out of my office, also take this poor excuse of a drink with you,” She ordered and pushed the glass to the edge of her desk.

I looked away and smirked. It was common for people to see me around the office giving my higher ups shit. Like most jobs I would’ve been fired within the first week, however, Mrs. Oshika seems to be the kind that doesn’t care too much about respect. As long as we can get the job done (correctly) she doesn’t care. Though that doesn’t mean there isn’t a line to be drawn somewhere, I was just lucky enough that I haven’t crossed it yet.

At work I’m kind of a prankster and it’s only small pranks nothing big. For instance Mrs. Oshika’s coffee tasted like shit because I had the company cook, Larry, give me a few packs of salt. There are also a few times when I would put pins in people’s chairs, yadda, yadda, just bunch of grade school shit. I’ll agree it’s immature but hey... working in an office is boring as fuck!

filing papers, faxing sheets, making coffee, cleaning trash bins! Fuck! I’m surprised I haven’t thrown myself out the window and plunge twenty stories to my demise. It’s horrible, this place is fucking Hell! Back when I was younger and just graduating high school I wanted to be a marine biologist, of course that’d cost a lot of money. So I had the bright idea of taking a break after school so I can work up enough money, lo behold here I am.

I think I’d have better chances if I just jumped straight to college.

“Cassidy!”

I jolted and took a step back. I looked around and saw that I was in the main hall on the fifteenth floor, in my hands were the freshly copied finance reports. I smiled I must’ve gone on autopilot after dozing off.

“Helloooo!” I focused my attention on what was in front of me. Cheryl Chapman, Mrs. Oshika’s assistant, was snapping her fingers in my face as if I was some dog.

I straightened myself out and forced a smile. “Hello, Ms. Chapman.”

“Finally.” The young girl rolled her eyes and leaned towards me. Her motion in doing so made me notice her chest swaying from side to side. My eyes wandered away from her face and down to her breasts. I cracked a grin at the sight, the girl was beautiful I had to say. Blonde hair, blue eyes, even Hitler would have been head over heels for this girl. We were around the same size, five foot five, not exactly tall you’d say. Instead you’d say we’re pretty average, however, Chapman on the other hand had something to make up for her height. And that was the size of her tits, like hot damn these knockers were big. So big that’d I could use them as a pillow, hell I bet this girl already does!

I know it’s rude to stare at another woman’s tits but fuck! It’s kinda hard not too when it feels like you’re the only man at work. In reality I’m practically am, the floor I work on is ninety percent women. The only other man is Jacob Howard and he’s practically fucked everyone of them (except for Stacey she’s ugly as fuck!) at least twice. I try to keep focus, I really do, especially around Chapman. However, when these girls are speaking to me I can’t help but stare... seriously, why are these melons so alluring?!

A sharp pain ripped itself across my cheek and my head recoiled. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed you looking at my boobs you twerp!” I took a step back and hoisted the weight of the papers over to one arm so that I could touch my raw cheek. I looked at Chapman and I saw her glaring at me, her face red with embarrassment. I gave her a sly smile.

“Do that again,” I said with the straightest face I could muster.

I noticed a few veins appear on Chapman’s neck and forehead. My hands clenched into fists when she took a step forward, for a mere second I had this gut feeling I had pushed her too far. Then she stuck out her hand, surprising me completely. “Hand me next week’s schedule please,” She said calmly, I could tell she was forcing it.

I went back to my regular work face, hard and emotionless. “Yeah sure,” I said in monotone and reached into the pile. I took the schedule out and handed it over to her, she snatched it violently out of my hand, nearly tearing it into two.

Chapman began to analyze the sheet, scanning like a machine for any minor mistakes. She always did this purposefully trying to find something wrong so that I’d have to do it all again, however, I was never really bothered by it. Yeah okay I’ll admit it got a bit annoying, but my father always had this motto for when it came to work.

“Shut the fuck up and don’t complain, just think about the money.”

I might have just taken that from the company motto... then again I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s everyone’s motto to be begin with. But I digress, Chapman’s eyes flicked back and forth across the page periodically shooting upwards at me, something she did a lot whenever we worked together. Personally I think she has the hots for me, which is why she purposefully waits a bit before yelling at me for checking her out.

She looked up at me once last time before handing it back over. “Alright, it looks good. Nice job, twerp.”

I playfully bowed like a Japanese man. “Thank you, senpai.” My head snapped to the left at the sound of smack and another wave of pain flaring from my right cheek. Chapman held the back of her hand up in the air while her eyes fired darts at me. “Okay, what the hell was that for?” I asked with a hand to my cheek, she had caught me off guard.

“You told me to do it again,” She giggled and straightened herself then fixed her skirt.

“That was a joke.”

“Ha, ha well you should have said that to begin with.” She flicked her wrist at me. “Well, Cassidy you’re free to go now.”

“What?” I raised an eyebrow, it wasn’t often that my supervisors would send me home so early. It was only about five in the afternoon, and my shift didn’t normally end till about eight.

Chapman frowned. “Did I fucking stutter? I said you can go now, go home before I make you work till you drop!”

“Well that doesn’t sound too bad.” I grinned. “As long as I’m with you–”

“With reduced pay,” She added.

I gasped. “You monster! You would never!”

Surprisingly Chapman actually giggled at what I said. “Just get on out of here,” This time she said more lightly.

I placed the stack of papers I held to the side and bowed like knight in shining armor. “Yes, your highness, but before I go–”

“Argh, what now?”

“Why are you sending me home early?”

“Yo, Ms. Chap, I’m here!”

A young voice caught me by the ear, and when I looked up to see where it was coming from, I instantly felt like I took a blow to the gut. A young, thin man with purple-green dyed hair stepped out of the elevator. His eyes big and green, he had a goofy smile on his face while he waved over to Chapman. To me he looked like a young disgusting hipster who needed to wiped off this planet, but the second my eyes fell on Chapman I could see it in her that she found this attractive. How? She instantly melted at the sight of him.

“Oh, Spike, you look wonderful today!” She came to the young boy with open arms.

I straightened myself out, mouth still agape, I took a step toward them and opened my arms wide and said, “What the fuck you’re replacing me?!”

Chapman’s mood immediately became sour and she slowly turned to face me. “No. We aren’t replacing you we’re hiring someone to help take off some of your hours.”

“But I like my hours!”

“Barry–” She actually used my first name! “–You work every day!”

“I thought we had something, Chapman!” I slapped the back of my right hand into my palm. “A relationship y’know, a bondage that could never be broken.”

The boy named Spike raised an eyebrow. “Is he okay?” He asked pointing at me.

Chapman leaned over. “He does this all the time when we hire someone new. He’s just fucking with us.”

“Y’know what... I see how it is,” I said unable to keep my poker face any longer, a small smile formed on my lips. I turned away from them. “I’ll be going now, bye Spike” I spat at him. “Good luck with the new job, but fair warning.” I gestured towards Chapman. “She’s a bit of a feisty one.”

“Just get the fuck out of here will ya!”

I laughed and walked to the elevator. “See you tomorrow, Chapman.”

“We won’t be seeing each other, Cassidy.”

“Why not?”

“Starting tomorrow you will no longer work the weekends. Take that as a reliever... are you okay?”

I stood there right in front of the elevator doors, frozen in time. My fingers twitched and I found my neck slowly creaking as it turned back to her. “W-what?” My neck came to halt and my body started to turn with it. I was soon facing the two of them again, the sudden realization at what she said hitting me hard like a speeding semi. No weekends? I thought, Oh no. What was I going to do?! Without work I’ll actually have free time, what then?!

In slow motion I dropped to my knees, both hands raised high into the air, and like Charlton Heston in the Planet of the Apes I cried out, “Daaaaaaaamn Yoooooooou!”

:[-]:

The elevator to the employee garage groaned as it slid open and I stepped out into the dimly lit room. I lifted a hand to my mouth and yawned, I really need to get more sleep, I thought to myself and began the trek to my car. I reached down to my pocket and retrieved my keys, the car I drove was an old station wagon. A Plymouth to be exact, and as embarrassing as it sounds it once belonged to my mother. A long, long time ago the very same Plymouth use to be the family car, and now after my mother has retired and bought a ferrari; it was now my time to take on the tradition of the family vehicle.

I opened the door to my station wagon and found my phone sitting idly on the passenger seat. “So that’s where you friggin went!” With a frustrated growl I stepped into the car. I placed my keys in the ignition and twisted them, the old Plymouth painstakingly roared to life, and with a few checks of the mirror I backed out of the parking space and began making my way home.

“Fucking move!” I roared at the taxi driver with my head out the window. Ahead of us the light was green but whomever was driving wasn’t making his move. I rammed my palm on the horn and blasted it, the driver behind me did the same. I sat back in my seat and grumbled angrily, finally the taxi cab began to move past the light. I released a sigh of relief, which was also the very same sigh that turned to absolute frustration when the light immediately turned back to red right when the taxi passed under it. “FUCK!” I slammed my foot on the break. I closed my eyes, That’s what you get Barry for living in New York–

I felt a small ache form in my stomach and I cringed when I noticed it was pleading for food. I realized I hadn’t eaten a thing since breakfast, even then I didn’t have anything aside from cereal. I buzzed my lips and fished my wallet out. Pawing through my wallet while I kept a fresh eye on the red light was a small habit I had picked up on over the years of living in the big city. I reached into my billfold hoping that the cash fairy had been merciful today. “Thirty, thirty one, thirty two.... sixty, seventy...” I frowned.  “Thirty two dollars and seventy cents.” That wasn’t even enough to hit the grocery on the way home. “I’m going to have to stop at the bank.”

I pulled into the lot of apple bank and quickly tried to find a spot. Thankfully having found a spot relative to the front door, I placed the car in park and killed the ignition. Opening the door I poked my head out of the car and stepped out. I turned and closed the door, spun around and nearly stubbed my toe with the bottom of my jaw when I noticed the line out the door. “What the hell is going on?”

Up front I notice a bank employee step outside, he cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted. “Everyone, I apologize for the inconvience but the A.T.Ms are currently under matienence!”

I gulped and glanced back at my car debating if I should just go home or not. However, the rumble from coming from my stomach said otherwise. “I really should start one of them online banking things,” I groaned to myself and shambled to the back of the line.

Minutes passed and the line slowly advanced another inch or two forward. “Jesus Christ, this place is understaffed.” I mumbled to myself and took another bite out the Hershey’s bar I had gotten from the nearby snack machine.

“Tell me about it.” A voice said from my left.

I glanced over and nearly choked on my treat. Beside me was a small pale skinned girl in a lavender jacket, her hair was long, blue and complimented by these two purple and pink stripes that went down the middle of her hair. She looked at me from behind a pair of red rimmed glasses that sat comfortably on her small nose with these large lavender eyes.

“H-hi!” I blurted out like an idiot.

The girl gave me a small smile and giggled. “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“N-no, it’s alright.” Come on, Barry, don’t lose her! “I just wasn’t expecting a response that was all,” I said taking a few more steps forward as the line progressed, I wrapped the chocolate bar back up in its wrapper and stuffed it in my coat pocket.

“And I couldn’t help but agree with you,” She said and stuck out her hand. “My name is Twilight, Twilight Sparkle.”

My eyes flickered down to her hand. It was small and pale just like the rest of her body, even the nails seemed to be trimmed a bit shorter than most girls I’ve seen. I took her hand and shook it. “Twilight, huh? Now that’s a unique name. I’m Barry, Barry Cassidy.”

“It’s nice meeting you, Barry, and before you ask, yes my name is really Twilight.”

My head tilted slightly and nodded. “That’s really interesting, I don’t think I ever met a girl named that. It has a nice ring to it.”

I noticed Twilight’s cheeks flush and she raised a hand to hide it. “Th-thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.” The line moved forward once more the main entrance now just couple more feet away. The two of us fell silent and already I could feel my conscious kicking me for it, I cast a few glances at her and saw her looking up at the sky. Come on, Barry, lets see if you can make a score. Find something to say. I followed her eyes upwards and saw that she was trailing an airliner that was passing over the city far above. “I’m surprised at how clear the sky is today,” I said making my move.

“Well the weather woman said it was going to be clear.”

I frowned genuinely confused. “But I thought it was going to be cloudy for the next few days?” I followed the line as it pushed forward once more and I was now leaning into the doorway. The girl giggled once more, I gawked. “What’s so funny?”

“That’s starting tomorrow night.” She laughed.

The frown on my face became nothing more than a mere pencil line as I tried to blink away the confusion. “Ga-dammit,” I mumbled, you went and made yourself look like an idiot, I thought.

“Oh don’t be so flustered,” Twilight said, “If it makes you feel any better I do it all the time with my friends when I’m planning. I always end up thinking too far ahead, and hey, sometimes that can be a good thing.”

I grinned. “I guess you could say that.” I stepped into the bank Twilight shortly behind me.

“For instance, a few days ago I was making plans for a university trip I was going to be making; big event lots of important people. Well for this trip I needed to make a speech, however, while I was in the midst of making this speech my friend Spike–” Instantly I shut her out at the name she’d just given me, Spike?

My thoughts drifted back to earlier, “Oh, Spike, you look wonderful today!” I could recall Chapman saying to the spiky green headed kid who replaced me. No that couldn’t be him, that’s impossible; must be a coincidence.

“–I was so freaked out when he said he had gotten a job! I never would have thought that he’d actually get up and do something, especially during an important time like this.” The girl continued to ramble on about her past. “Then I realized he’s going to need money for lunch and that I was going to have to stop at the bank, and possibly get something on the way home–”

“You sound more like his mother then a friend,” I interjected jokingly. “Why are you so...” I trailed off when I noticed the rather irritated look on her, I gulped and continued down the line toward the bank teller's desk.

“I’m just worried–” Twilight walked past me and we both stopped in front of a different attendee “–because I want to make sure that his first day tomorrow goes well–withdrawing please.” We both sat silently for a few moments while we withdrew money from our bank accounts.

The teller handed me my envelope full of cash which I took happily, popping it open I quickly fingered through my money to make sure it was all there. Satisfied I turned around to head out at the same moment Twilight did so. “He starts tomorrow?” I continued the conversation. “Where at?”

“Bijinesu Inc.”

My eye twitched and the hand carrying my money stopped just inches from my pocket. “Say what?” I glanced over at Twilight, she was still walking towards the door not even noticing I had stopped. So that is the mother fucker who’s taken my place. I squished my bills inbetween my fingers. Bastard! I can’t let him– “Whoa now,” I said to myself, I took a deep breath. “Calm down, Barry, it’s nothing too bad.” My eyes flickered back towards, Twilight she was just opening the door. “Think about it, your new coworker has a hot roommate,” I cracked a smile as I stared at her ass.

My thoughts were soon interrupted by a vibration in my pants. More specifically my pocket. “Ah shit!” I fished my phone out and saw the screen was lit and on it read: You’re late! My eyes widened “FUCK!” I looked back at the exit to the bank, Twilight was gone. “Oh no you don’t.” I began to hustle my way to the door. “I ain’t finished with you yet.’

Twilight stepped out onto the sidewalk and threw her hand out into the air as an attempt to flag down a cab. Not too far ahead she noticed a yellow car pull out of a line of traffic and head towards the curb.

“Twilight!” I practically shrieked when my foot stumbled on a step that led up to the bank. I caught myself on the railing and recovered half way down. “Twilight wait!” She looked over at me right as the cab came to a complete stop in front of her.

“What is it.... Cassidy was it?” She raised an eyebrow at me when I came to a stop in front of her head over heels gasping for breath.

“Cl... close enough, you got my... last name.” I straightened myself out and cracked my back. I really need to start hitting the gym more, I thought.

Twilight pursed her lips and glanced around almost nervously. “Well I... have things I need to do so...”

“S-so do I... quite frankly I’m running late for an appointment.” This seemed to make Twilight’s eyebrow raise even higher. “D-don’t worry it’s nothing important, just my therapist.” That didn’t seem to help at all. “Anger Management and all... I’ll just stop talking.” I reached into my pocket and took out a folded dollar bill. “Here take this.”

Twilight glanced at the dollar in my hand curiously. “What are you paying me now?”

“Well... just take it and look inside.” Twilight gently grabbed the dollar and began to open it. “You wrote on it?” She said looking up at me.

I gave her a deadpanned look. “It’s my phone number so whenever you want to hangout again sometime.”

Twilight bit her lip. “Oh well... um.”

“What?”

“I don’t have a cellphone.”

I tilted my head and frowned. “Wait really?” Who the fuck doesn’t own a cellphone nowadays?!

“Yeah.”

“Don’t you have a house phone or something.”

“I have an old rotary phone in my apartment.”

I smiled. “That’s good enough for me, if you want gimme a call tonight. After that I’ll save your number in my contacts list.”

“I can just write it down now.”

I raised a hand and shook my head. “No need to, besides. That cab driver is about to leave without you, anyhow see ya.” I turned and broke into a dead sprint to my car hoping I can at least make it to my doctor before time was up.

:[-]:

I slammed my shoulder into Doc. Larson’s door and stumbled inside his office. “Mr. Cassidy.” The old man glanced up at me from his newspaper. “Glad to see you’re making an entrance like always.”

“S-sorry doc,” I turned to make sure I hadn’t broken his door again, thankfully it wasn’t, “just ran into some nice busty chick.” I pulled the chair in front of his desk out and sat down.

Larson curled his lips back and sat the paper down. “Well... that’s great I guess. I’m happy to hear you’ve been having a good day.”

“Not only that I was able to give her my number.” I kicked my legs up onto his desk, the look Larson gave me made me immediately change my mind. I placed my legs back on the floor and straightened myself out in front of him. “So are we just going to go through the usual procedure?”

Larson sighed and sat back in his chair. “Well I thought about it... but seeing as you’re forty-five minutes late. I don’t believe we can get through–”

I jammed my thumb at the door behind me. “So I’m free to go?”

Larson held up a hand as a gesture for me to slow down. “I’ve decided that we would just end with our weekly questions. Believe me, it won’t take long.”

“O-okay.” I settled down in my chair.

“Before we start, would you like some coffee?”

“Nope.”

“M’kay then... how has your week been going so far?”

“Fine, just fine.”

“No anxiety, angry thoughts? How about your boss, have you two been getting along since you and I started these sessions?”

“No on the first bit, some times on the second, and my boss is the one who forced me to do this so... I guess things are alright between us.” Larson nodded his head and reached under his desk, a second later he placed a steaming cup of coffee beside his papers. I eyed the coffee closely and gulped. “Y’know I change my mind I am a bit thirsty.”

Larson smiled and nodded his head. “I’ll get a cup prepared for you.” He got up and went past me towards the table on the other end of the room. On the table was a coffee machine and a few pile of books and papers containing information onto whatever Larson covered in his field. If you hadn’t guessed Dr. Larson was my anger management therapist, I started seeing him a couple weeks ago after I got into a fight at work... okay I had gotten into multiple fights. Mainly with guys in the other departments.

It had reached the point in which Mrs. Oshika threatened to fire me unless I got myself treated. So I got stuck up in this place, it isn’t bad I’ll tell you that. However, in times like this, when I can’t get that Twilight girl out of my head. It just makes it feel like I’m wasting time, like I could be doing better things. Like fucking–I mean hanging out with that girl.

“Here ya go, Cassidy.” Larson placed the cup of joe on the desk in front of me. “Now tell me, how has your sex life been? Has you active or not recently?”

I bit my tongue, I always hated this question. “Well... not as of recently, however, that girl I saw earlier...”

Larson cracked a grin and sat across from me behind his desk. “So you’re attracted to someone?”

“Well... um... kinda, I guess.” I took the coffee and tried to sip it slowly so that I wouldn’t burn my mouth.

“Would you like to talk about it?” Larson took his cup and also sipped from it.

“Her roommate just started working where I’m at.” Finally I got the balls enough to take a larger gulp. Ah fuck it’s black! I pulled the cup away from my face and sat it back on the desk.

“Oh really?” Larson laced his fingers together and leaned forward. “What does he do?”

I frowned and slouched in my chair. “He does the same thing I do.”

Larson raised an eyebrow, I think he can tell how I feel just by looking at me. “And how does that make you feel?” He asked quietly.

No point in hiding it, I thought.

“I don’t know why but it pisses me off! For the longest time I was the only errand boy and nothing ever really went wrong! Everything was going perfect, there was no need to hire a new guy!”

“So you feel like you’re being replaced?”

I threw my arms up into the air. “Exactly!”

Larson sat back in his chair with a hand to his chin in thought. He hummed and leaned back forward in his seat, he glanced at the clock. “Well judging by the time we only have a couple minutes left. Hey, how about we pick this up tomorrow?”

I sighed and tossed a hand to the side. “Alright, that’s fine by me.”

“Perfect. Oh and one last thing Mr. Cassidy.” Larson stopped me with a hand. “Before you go I must tell you that I spoke with your doctor earlier this week and we got you set up with some prescription drugs that should help calm your mood swings.”

“O-okay...?” They got me set up on drugs now?

Larson bent down under his desk and came back up with an orange envelope. “I have your first batch here, please only take one a day. Preferably in the morning. In case you forget I have a list of instructions inside this envelope. And please–this might be self-explanatory–don’t drink any alcohol with these.”

I reached over and took the envelope. “Thanks... I guess.” I stood up from my seat.

“Anytime, Cassidy, and remember if you ever need to talk. Just call me okay, I work every day from sunrise to sunset.” Larson picked his paper back up.

“Sure thing, doc,” I said not taking my eyes off the envelop. “I’ll keep that in mind.” I turned and went out the door.

:[-]:

That night when I got home I checked my answering machine, nothing but 800 service calls. Fucking bastards will never leave me alone. Nothing from Twilight, not even on my cellphone, I had a feeling this would happen. Even the girls at my local bar would never call me, am I really that unattractive?

I don’t feel like it. five foot five, hundred eighty pounds, forty-five percent of that is muscle. Yeah my hair's a bit long and messy, I also heard that not many girls are into young men who are already getting grey hair. I really need to stop stressing over things.

I hadn’t had girlfriend since high school... I think I’m getting a bit rusty. Especially in terms of sex; five years without hitting anything really does something to a man... especially a man who’s surrounded by woman who don’t want anything to do with him. Ga-dammit, thinking about this shit is making me depressed.

I went into my kitchen and opened my fridge. It was empty. “Fuck!” I practically yelled when I slammed the fridge door. How could you forget to go to the damn store you twit! I walked over to my cabinet and dragged out my nearly empty jar of peanut butter and fished my last two pieces of bread out, both of them being nothing but crust. With a disappointed sigh I quickly made myself a peanut butter sandwich and went back to my fridge. Thankfully I hadn’t really gotten into my stockpile of alcohol this past week.

I’ve been telling myself to throw it all out, so has Larson, but something inside me wouldn’t let me. It’s like I had an attachment to it... oh wait it’s called an addiction. I reached into the fridge and pulled out a bottle of vodka and went to another cabinet to retrieve my shot glasses. Drinking alone was a common and very depressing thing I did. Mainly I did this on the weekends after a twelve hour shift; I’d come home and drink myself to sleep while watching Indiana Jones or Planet of the Apes or something. I’m really fond of old adventure style movies, in other words I’m a classic kind of guy.

I poured the vodka in the glass and immediately drank it, my throat burned and I bit down on my lip as I forced it down. Sometimes I’d have a chaser to go with it, but today... I felt like drinking like a man. And when it came to drinking like a man, I stared at the shot glass for a few moments before placing it aside and grabbing the entire bottle for myself. I went into the living room.

Kicking back in my rocking chair and I turned the television on to a random channel, luckily I just happened land on Toonami which just so happened to be having a marathon of that weird anime Kill La Kill. I always found it odd that these girls would fight in such strange attire, but hey, I won’t complain.

Forty minutes in of watching half naked woman beating the shit out of each other with swords. I was now completely shit faced, any form of maturity I previously had (which was never really much) was now completely out the window. And I’ll tell you, watching Japanese cartoons while intoxicated... is probably the best fucking thing ever.

“Do it you whore!” I screamed at my television, “Jam it in her pussy!” I was in the middle of watching a fight between the show’s main character and this creepy as shit girl with an eyepatch. “Rip her other eye out–!” I was stopped by a tremor coming from pants along with Stars Wars imperial March theme.

I reached into my pocket and whipped out my phone: Private Caller it said on the screen. Normally I wouldn’t answer these calls, however, this wasn’t a normal occasion. I flicked my thumb across the answer symbol. “Sup!”

“H-hello?” A nervous girl replied.

“Yeah? Who’s dis?” My eyes began to droop and I reached for my bottle.

“Is this, Mr. Cassidy?”

“An’ if... I say no?”

“Eh... is this a bad time–”

“Nah–nah tis fine... jus’ hold on.” I took a swig of my bottle, with a sigh I returned to the call. “Yes dis’ is him.”

“Oh... um, good. This is Twilight from earlier, you gave me your number and told me to call.”

My eyes lit up and I paused my show. “Ah, Twilight, I sawt you wouldn’t call... heh... how’s it goin’ buddy?”

“I’m doing... fine... you?”

“Drinking!” I thrusted my bottle into the air.

“Ah... I wouldn’t have... guessed.”

“Y’know... if you’d like... you can come over and we can.... drink!”

“N-no thank you... how about this, I’ll call back later okay?”

“Uh...” I stuck the bottle in my mouth and gulped another round of vodka. “... what’s wrong with now?”

“I just realized, I didn’t sort some things on my bookshelf correctly. I’ll call you later okay?”

Before I could reply she hung up the phone, I waited there a few minutes. “That was–” I burped “–weird... whatever.” I picked up my remote and started my show back up. I sighed and laid back in my chair, a few minutes later I felt myself getting bored. Something inside me was telling me to call her back and apologize, that I might of scared her off. However, the alcohol was telling me to ignore it and instead focus on more interesting things.

My head drifted towards my coffee table, like that orange packet Larson gave me earlier. I got up from my rocking chair and shambled on over to the end table. I picked the envelop up and slipped my thumb under the flap and pulled it open, I then held out my palm and tipped the items inside onto it. A bottle rolled out and landed on my hand while the papers and documents scattered all over the floor and across my living room.

I tilted my head at the bottle and wrapped my fingers around it. I turned back towards my T.V. and held the bottle towards the light. I could hardly read the label, and even if tried I wouldn’t have been able to actually read it correctly. “I wonder what they taste like,” I whispered the words to myself. I took hold of the cap and twisted it off, like the envelop I tilted the bottle and shook a single pill into my palm. And without thinking twice, I brought my head back and popped the pill in my mouth. There was no flavor when I swallowed it. Quite frankly nothing happened.

“Well that was boring...” I mumbled and capped the bottle. “It’s proably... nosing... butt... a placsebo...” My vision swirled into darkness and I collapsed onto the floor.

:[-]:

“This is exactly why I tell you not to go around touching things!”

“What are you talking about, I tried to fix it!”

“And look where we’re at, Dash! Doesn’t really seem like you fixed anything!”

“Buck you egghead, it’s not my fault!”

“Really? It isn’t?!”

“Oh my God...” I groaned in pain, my head felt like someone had taken a jack hammer to it. “Someone please turn that damn T.V. off....”

“Oh my gosh... it’s alive!”

“Sssh! It doesn’t know we’re here.”

I slowly pulled my arm close to my chest and tried to boost myself up. The bones in my body creaked and popped, with each snap that came from my back and I let off a groan of relief. “Ah... fuck!” I yelled when my lower back popped loud enough that I swore I heard an echo. I stood on my knees for a few brief moments, not wanting to open my eyes. I’ve had hangovers before, many of them to be honest, and I knew that opening my eyes would be a very bad idea. So I did it anyways.

“Gahaha!” I draped a hand over my eyes and pushed myself to my feet. My living room looked as if someone placed a spotlight in there and was shining it directly in my face, I needed to find my sunglasses. Thankfully, I always kept them in the drawer by my couch just in case of moments like these. I slowly started to walk over to the opposite end of my living room, there I grasped onto the coffee table and forced a the drawer open. I reached in and pulled out my sunglasses and quickly flung them over my eyes. It wasn’t much of an improvement, but luckily I could actually keep my eyes open long enough to see what was going on.

Nothing much really. The T.V. was still left on the show from last night, my bottle was on the coffee table opposite from the one I’m at now. And my prescription drugs were on the floor... “God fucking damnit.” I facepalmed (which I soon regretted). “I nearly committed accidental suicide didn’t I?” I groaned as the aching pain in my head jumped up tenfold.

“Darn it!” My ear twitched at the low voice, a clatter then came from the kitchen.

“Who’s there?” I called out sounding a bit nervous, I’ve never had anyone break in before. “No seriously, I know you’re in there.”

“Way to go, Dash!” Came a hushed voice.

“Don’t blame me, blame the stupid towel!” Another voice snapped.

“Next time just watch where you’re going!”

I walked into the kitchen and looked around, I couldn’t see anyone at first glance. However, when I cast my gaze over the counter, on the floor were two horse like creatures bickering with one another. The one that sat on the left was lavender in color and had a set of dark blue hair, which was complemented by a pink and purple strain running down the middle. Her eyes were quite large, almost dinner plate size, and were purple. The horse even had a set of wings along with a horn sprouting out the middle of her forehead. To her right was a cyan horse with only single set of wings, rainbow colored hair which was cut short, and large dinner plate eyes that were magenta.

I stood there looking down on them for quite some time. So long I was in this shocked state that my sun glasses actually began to slide off the bridge of my nose to the point in which they slipped off and clattered on the island counter surface.

The sound of my glasses hitting the surface of the counter got both of the horse's’ attention. They glanced up at me with them massive wide eyes, the lavender one then smiled at me sheepishly and giggled, “H-hello.”

My lips began to quiver, my arms began to shake. “Gggguauaaaaah!” I screamed which then prompted the horses to also cry out.

“AAaaaaaah!”

I stumbled back from the counter and into the living room, I tripped onto the floor and quickly army crawled my way to the end table where my vodka bottle was. Stealing a quick glance over my shoulder I saw the cyan horse peeking at me from around the corner. I reached up and snatched the bottle off the table and smashed the end of it on the ground (which wasn’t one of my smartest moments.) Specks of glass littered my hardwood floor and I constantly kept pricking my hand on them as I got up, pointing the shattered end of the bottle at the horses. “Get out!” I yelled. “Git!”

The cyan horse’s eyes widened when she saw my broken bottle and took the air with her wings. “Whoa now buddy!” She held her hooves at to me.

“Get out!” I hollered.

I’m dreaming, this is a dream... or I’m dead.

“We aren’t going to hurt you!” The horse flew back in order to avoid an oncoming jab from my bottle.

“Get out of my house!” My headache raged each time I yelled.

“Rainbow, it’s no use.” The lavender horse hopped on top of my counter. “We need to wait till he calms down!”

“I said get out!” I gave up swinging the bottle and threw it directly at the horse. The non sharp end struck her in her side, disrupting her wing flaps, and she fell onto the counter beside the purple one.

“Wait please! We mean you no harm!” The purple one stepped in front of the cyan horse with her hooves held out in defense. “Just listen to us.”

I glared at the horse with wide eyes. I jammed a finger at her. “There’s no way I’m listening to a talking horse.” It’s the drug, it was definitely the drug that caused all this. They aren’t real, none of this is real. It’s just a figment of my imagination. “I’m calling Larson,” I said to no one in particular.

“Wait, please we already have enough attention as it is!” She said, her voice sounded distinctly familiar, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.

I went back into the living room and stuck my hand in my pocket to get my phone out. No use, it wasn’t there. “Where the... what?” I walked over to the rocking chair, there I saw it sticking halfway out the cushion between the arm rest. I snatched it up and went directly to my contacts.

“Whatever you doing stop! We beg you!” The horse was now in the living room with me.

I found Larson’s name and tapped call. “I’m not  listening to you!” I shouted. “You’re just a bad a hallucination created by my subconscious.”

“Hello?” Larson’s voice came through.

“What the fuck was in that pill!” I yelled into the phone.

“Oh Mr. Cassidy, you actually called.”

“Yeah I did, now what was in that pill.” I looked over and saw the horse on her haunches shaking her head in disappointment. The blue one then entered the room and was now glaring at me quite angrily.

“Whatever do you mean, Mr. Cassidy?” Larson asked.

“I took the pill and now I’m seeing shit, Larson!”

“What are you seeing?”

“Rainbow what are you doing?!”

I threw my open hand in the air. “I’m seein talking horses and shi–” For a split second I felt a sudden spike of pain in the back of my head and I slumped to the floor unconscious.