Equestrian Tales of the Mirror Realm: A day on the Job

by OmenCall

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Random
Length: 2832

A story in a rather paralell universe. A universe that lacks harmony or friendship of any kind, yet its inhabitants still manage to enjoy life. Sometimes on the expense of each other.

The current story is about Starlight Flash. A Pegasus. Who handles weather. And Starlight is in a real bind. She has to do everything by herself, is disliked among the residents of Calmhale, and the local pranksters are giving her hell.

On top of that her colleagues are not the most capable bunch ever entrusted with the responsability of preventing storms and other calamities.

This is: A day on the Job

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-07 18:51:05 UTC

Introduction

“If you ever happen to come across a kelpie during flood season, turn around immediately. Even if it means flying right into a storm of rank six. Staying dry is not worth it. Trust me.” – Gale Breaker, second Lt. of the southern Cloud Patrol Unit

The sun shone warmly on her nose, tickling the young pegasus mare with its rays. Starlight slowly awoke from her slumber and squinted as the light struck her eyes. “Is it morning already?“

“Actually, it’s the middle of the afternoon,” Rain Chaser informed her as he set down another hay bale right next to her.

“Afternoon?” Starlight yelled and jumped off the haystack. Her black wings immediately unfurled, even though she only wanted to land right in front of the grey pegasus male. “Why didn’t you wake me earlier?”

“I didn’t want to encur the wrath of the captain of Calmhale’s Cloud Patroul,” the grey-furred farmer snapped back at her. “Maybe you should just learn to get up by yourself! Or do you need me to hold your hoof for that too?”

She took a step back. “Why are you so angry?” she carefully asked.

“Oh, I don’t know! Maybe it has something to do with you being where you shouldn’t be!”

“You offered to let me crash at your barn, I only did what you allowed me to do!”

“Well, maybe if you didn’t take thigs so literal, we wouldn’t be having this conversation!”

Starlight paused for a moment, another comment on the tip of her tongue. Then, she looked up at the massive hole in the roof where she had entered shortly after midnight. “Oh. That.” Starlight uncomfortably started to move her hoof in circles on the ground , then turned her head away from him, unable to look the other pegasus in the eye. “I… I’m sorry. Yesterday was… Well I was pretty out of it.”

“That’s one way to describe the state you were in when you smashed through my roof!” Rain Chasers feathers rustled as he moved his huge grey wings to point at the hole. “And don’t think you’ll get away with an apology, it’s not that simple! You’ll be fixing that!”

Starlight groaned and shook her head. “Alright, alright! Now can I please go and take care of my own duties?”

Rain Chaser snorted and stepped aside, checking the condition of the hay she had been resting on. “It’s all wet! Well go on then, don’t let me keep you from flying around doing nothing whatsoever!”

She could hear the sarcasm in his voice and it hit her as if it were one of his wings. Still, she pulled herself together and resisted the urge to answer unpleasantly in kind, and instead flapped her wings. She quickly gained speed in the abundance of space the barn offered, and shot straight out of the hole in the roof. She could feel the wind brushing through her silver mane and her mood began to improove a little.

Rain Chaser wasn’t all bad. True, he was rather easily irritated, but he was also very generous. Even though his words had been harsh he didn’t usually  mean them. Unlike the other ponies, he was almost pleasant.

These past couple of months all Starlight had been trying to do was to get the residents of Calmhale to accept her as an irremovable part of the local Cloud Patroul Unit. Sadly they didn’t even show her the courtesy of ignoring her.

From the very first moment she had realized, these ponies did not want here here. She was just another amateur to them, someone who had messed up her job once, was therefore reassigned to Calmhale, and would mess up again.

But Starlight was determined to prove them wrong. When she came here, she had also been determined to turn the slackers on the CPU into the best weather guard their empire had ever seen. But due to Calmhale being not even a days walk from New Camelot, the capitol and residence of the almighty ruler, Princess Aurora, they had not gotten a single bad storm. Ergo she had not found any opportunity to train the other five pegasi in the unit.

She sighed heavily and readjusted her wing position, giving her flight path a wide berth so she could have an eye on the actual village while she flew.

Six pegasi, she thought, including herself in her calculations. Six of us to cover, what, threehundred square kilometers and possibly prevent a storm? Not nearly enough. When she had requested assistance a few weeks back, she had expected to receive an answer in the next few days, maybe even along with reinforcements for their Weather Blockade Department. Instead she had gotten nothing.

I didn’t even include New Camelot's air space into my calculations. We just don’t have enough! And what am I supposed to do with this bunch of lazy turkey-winged goofballs? I’m surprised Calmhale has not been wiped out during the flood season yet! But then again, it’s right on the princess’s doorstep. She probably doesn’t even have to leave the palace in order to protect this stupid village!

Noise from the streets of Calmhale disrupted her train of thought. It came from the town square, near the town hall, which was essentially a big white building with a clock and a belltower. Everything looked fine on first glance, only that someone had decided to nail the doors shut. Those damn Kelpies! Of course they were behind it. Noone else than Goldie and his twin sister Silvie would do such a thing. The two black kelpies just stood there, looking at the outraged villagers, not seeming to understand why nopony laughed about their petty prank.

For a moment she considered just ignoring whatever was going on down there, let the locals handle it themselves as they had done in the past, while she would soar high into the vast azure skies. Then, with a heavy heart, she remembered her decision to make a good impression. Quelling arguments was just another part of being a member of the Cloud Patroul Unit, so she tilted her wings downwards and prepared to enter her daily battle for acceptance.

Kelpies, ponies, a practical guide to racial differences

"Who named this place after a mythical city filled with more mythical creatures, ruled by a mythical king who wields a mythical sword? Well I don't know. Did I mention it's all a myth?" - Dream Weaver, head librarian of the royal archives

As Starlight dove down towards the town hall she caught a glimpse of a yellow tail, sticking into the air from a nearby cloud. She changed course and flew over to the other pegasus, who had resorted to sticking his head into the fluffy white just to dim the noise of the argument below.

"What are you doing?" she asked, raising one eyebrow.

"Well, what does it look like?" the other pegasus answered. "The mayor and Goldie are fighting again! Do you want to get in the middle of this? I know I don't!"

"Too bad, it's our job to settle arguments!" She grabbed a strand of yellow hair and pulled her colleague out of the cloud. "As they say, Buttercup, no time like the present! Let's get moving and make our superiors in New Camelot proud!"

Buttercup tried desperately to cling to the cloud. "I don't want to! The guys in New Camelot don't have a clue what's going on here! We have to deal with mayor Steam Pipe as well as two kelpies!" He squeezed his brown eyes shut, trying to hide the shivers running down his cream white coloured back. "And on top of that I have to take orders from a Captain who's just thirteen..."

Starlight let go of his tail and flew around Buttercup to look him in the eye. "What did you just say?"

He flinched and jumped off the cloud, his wings flapping instinctively to keep him in the air. "Well... I only meant that..."

"If you find the time to lament about being subordinate to some kid, as you guys liked to phrase it, then you apparently don't have enough on your plate with cloud patrol!" she lectured him, only slightly irritadet by his remarks concerning her age. He had a point, most pegasi aspiring to join the CPU would still be at the academy at her age, but she hadn't had the luxury of training that long. "Report back to base immideately after clearing up this argument down there!"

Buttercup hung his head and sighed. "Yes, captain. Do I have to do this alone?" He gave her a pleading look.

Starlight crossed her hooves before her black furred chest. "Getting wet hooves already?"

"That's not fair! I mean, we're not even supposed to go near a kelpie after a raining session like the one yesterday! I can see Silvie's wet mane from here! This is going to an absolute nightmare!"

Starlight rolled her eyes. "Fine!" she sighed. "I know how much of a pain the two of them can be, so I'll come with you. But sooner or later you'll have to find the courage to deal with them yourself."

As she flew past the cream coloured pegasus she could hear him mumble, "Don't know why I'd need to learn that! It's not like there are many kelpies out there!"

Once again she had to admit to herself that Buttercup wasn't completely wrong. Kelpies looked just like earth ponies, but there were distinct differences. For one, they were much rarer than the wingless and mostly magicless ponies. And unlike those they only came in two colours, black and white, with only slight variations. And they held a much higher status than any earth pony, for they posessed magic close to that of an alicorn. If left alone a kelpie could easily survive for a thousand years or more, however, unlike the alicorn race, they did not posess eternal youth.

Starlight knew that Goldie and his twin sister Silvie had only lived in calmhale for half a century now, and they looked accordingly young. Kelpies were also wise and smart, again a distinct difference when compared to the rather clumsy and simple minded earth ponies. In short, they were better and more useful than any earth pony had ever been, but they had one flaw that made them a threat as well. Whenever they came in contact with water they would suddenly turn malicious, or so most ponies said. Personally, Starlight had never encountered a truly dangerous kelpie. One time she had accidentaly pushed Silvie into one of the nearby streams that extended from the great dam that held the water of the Crookback Mountain rivers away from Calmhale. Silvie had then attempted to pull her under water, not actually intending any lasting damage. It had been a game for her. Once dried off, however, the black kelpie mare had been very embarrassed about the entire thing.

So Starlight knew full well that wet kelpies and their out of control magic were not to be taken lightly. Still, she prefered to deal with those rather than dealing with mayor Steam Pipe. She hated that smug unicorn stallion. He was a veteran tactician of Princess Aurora's royal army, but a veteran tactician sent to a place like Calmhale meant he was something special in name and rank alone. He didn't seem to have any actual skills regarding leadership or the management of an entire village.

With a final burst of speed Starlight made her entrance on the scene. "Never fear, the CPU is here!", she joyfully yelled, hoping to somewhat defuse the situation by distracting the arguing ponies.

Goldie Hooves interrupted his mocking of the upset citizens to nod in her direction. "I greet thee, honourable captain of the cloud patrol unit. Hast thou cometh to witness the initiation of the new gold tax? Of course we request thine approval."

I hate when they start talking like that, Starlight thought. Then she braced herself to scold the kelpie. "I cannot allow you to hinder official village business by obstructing the path into the town hall. And what's this nonsense about a gold tax?" While she spoke she quickly tried to gage how wet Goldie's mane was. If she could just distract him long enough for it to dry properly, maybe there wouldn't be any more collateral damage. She almost froze as she saw the dripping mess on his neck. How in the hay did it get so wet? The rain stopped a few hours ago!

"You must forgive my brother, he's not himself today," Silvie Hooves said with a deploring tone. Meanwhile Goldie rolled his indigo eyes and continued his stare contest with mayor Steam Pipe.

"Captain of the CPU, I order you to remove these traitorous kelpies from my village!" the crimson coated unicorn mayor demanded.

"I can't do that, mayor Steam Pipe. According to paragraph thirteen of the Kelpie Control Guide issued by Captain Storm Cloud of the Southern Cloud Patroul Unit, we must not let ourselves be forced to discriminating actions against kelpies after..."

"I don't care!" the mayor shouted in her face.

Starlight narrowed her eyes as drops of spittle flew past her. "As the mayor and therefore lead representative of our community, you are expected to behave in accordance with our law at all times," she calmly said. "The matter of these kelpies will be handled by myself and sergeant Buttercup. And we can't do our job if you constantly disturb us. So please refrain from yelling at me, or my subordinates, for that matter."

"You will do as I tell you to do!" Steam Pipe turned back to the two kelpies sitting infront of the doors to the town hall. "And right now I'm telling you to arrest these kelpies!"

Buttercup flew down to land next to Starlight. "Can't we just, I don't know, walk around them, maybe? I heard your argument with Goldie about who had to get out of the way. Is it really worth this much trouble just..."

"It's a matter of pride!" the mayor furiously shouted. "I will not change my path for some meek and powerless kelpies!"

Starlight noticed how Goldies eyes had narrowed at those words. Sweat started running down her neck in streams now. The situation was getting dangerous. Wet kelpies could - in the worst cases - even turn carnivorous. She had seen the long fangs of this species during one of her many discussions with Silvie, and she couldn't help but imagine these shining teeth sinking deep into mayor Stem Pipe's neck. She had to do something. Not that the battle-scarred mayor would mind a bite from a kelpie, but she couldn't allow him to fuel Goldies anger any further.

Meanwhile, Steam Pipe's raging continued. "And you, sergeant Buttercup! I will have you on trial for insubordination and -"

"I really don't see that happening anytime soon, with all the work we still have to do." An old bearded unicorn stallion intervened. He stepped between the mayor and the kelpies, scribbling something down on a clipboard. "Captain of the Cloud Patroul Unit, Starlight Flah, correct?" He gave Starlight an inquiring look. "Well, the tales seem to be true. You truly are much younger than one would expect. Please handle the kelpie situation while I escort mayor Steam Pipe back to his home. I believe I can finish my inspection of the town hall by myself."

"A royal inspector?" Buttercup mumbled. "What's he doing here?"

"I have come here to supervise the visit of Queen Alpha here in Calmhale," the unicorn clarified. "She will be arriving sometime around the early evening, shortly before her departure to the Darklands."

Oh horseapples! Starlight thought. That's today? Why did I choose today of all days to sleep in? "Buttercup, you go and patrol the usual area, make sure there are no storms in sight when the queen arrives!" She didn't expect there to be any storms today, but better safe than sorry. She would not make any mistakes.

"You seem distraught, captain," the royal inspector noted. "Is everything alright?"

Starlight quickly caught herself. "Of course," she sternly replied. "Everything is under control. We'll have the town hall ready in just a little while." Standard procedure required her to dry the two kelpies off using her wings, a task Goldie and Silvie tended to rather enjoy, for whatever reason. After that she would have to hurry to get everything in place for the alicorn queen.

There probably was enough time left to whip the town into shape. The town hall was normally rather clean, and the Queen usually didn't stray far from there during her visits. So all there really was left to do would be preparing the locals for the event.  Still, she had a bad feeling about this day. As Starlight proceded to dry the kelpies off, she just knew that something was about to go very wrong.