Hoof Club

by ScottPilgrim4real

Rating: mature
Tags: Tragedy, Slice of Life, Dark, Romance
Length: 438

You're not your job. You're not how much bits you make. You're not the wagon you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not the bucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of equestria

The First Rule of Hoof Club is that you don't talk about Hoof Club. The Second Rule of Hoof Club is that you DON'T talk about Hoof Club.

Based on the novel and movie "Fight Club" I don't own "My Little Pony" or "Fight Club"

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-01 18:59:44 UTC

Chapter 1

Ponies these days ask me if I know Tiger Stables. My eyes opened to meet a pair of dark red pupils. I looked down to see a bloody hoof with a brown wooden handle and the rest of this mysterious item in my mouth. There's a knife in my mouth. The wedges slowly exiting my mouth, piercing the sides of my lips. The figure with the dark red eyes turned around and walked to the only window in this dark room.  I only wondered how clean that knife was.  "10 minutes until the New Age" He said in a calm manner. I looked around in the room with the window being the only light source. I spotted a door about 7ft to the left of my limp body. Escape was pointless. The new age is happening. Project Mischief will succeed its plan.

There are no traitors in Project Mischief.

The First Rule of Project Mischief is that you don't ask questions. "Nine minutes" I licked the sides of my lips to taste the familiar liquid. Blood. I forgot how much of your own blood you can drink before you get sick. Maybe three............................The figure laughed "Just think! You and me saving the world!" He sounded very pleased with himself. "Eight minutes" Right now we are in the top floor of the castle of the princess's ready to look over this theater of mass destruction. Project Mischief. The second rule of project mischief is don't ask questions. This event is not just in Canterlot, it's in every other huge city and popular town. I know this because Tiger knows this. "Seven minutes" The new age started as a vision but soon became a desire. Even Discord himself would be impressed by what's in the basement of every bank in big towns to popular citys. There are wagons full of homemade napalm. How you make hamemade napalm is as simple as one, two, three.

One-Get a metal tin and put half a cup of gasoline

Two-Dissolve styrofoam until mixture is pasty and thick (This may take a while)

Three-Pour on desired area and light

Tada napalm

"Six minutes" I know this because Tiger knows this. All over the world we have this set up all on one time. Each bomb will have a small blast on the street but not to much or other buildings may collapse. Once the timer goes out. Red eyes plan will succeed. "Five minutes, think of everything we have accomplished!" And suddenly I realized that all of this,

The fights

The bombs

The revolution

Has something to do with a mare named Trixie Lulamoon.