Fluttershy Wants Tits

by KeKeK

Parus Major

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      As the bell rang, Fluttershy put Angel back in her backpack and opened her locker door in order to get out. That's where she was every dodgeball day, confined in her small yet big enough locker, waiting for the bell to ring so she could go to the cafeteria and talk with her friends. She, being herself, was permitted to skip classes if she wanted to. Within reason of course. Usually, though it's just gym class on dodgball day.

     She took the longest route to the cafeteria because it was usually being abandoned at around this time of day. A sudden movement at her back let her know that her pets were fighting, again. Naturally it wasn't the first time. Nor would it be the last. She wasn't sure if she should deal with them in the hallway or go to the restroom where she wouldn't be seen with animals on school grounds. In the restroom she wouldn't be caught with her pets, not by anybody important that is. Right there in the hall she risked being caught but waiting would give them more time to hurt each other if that's what was happening.

     She decided if she was seen she'd give them a piece of her mind about rules not allowing animals to be someplace. And while she's at it, she could get airborne cholera.

     Right before entering the lavatory, the noises and the shuffling that went with them

stopped. Deciding it was nothing, she went back on her way to the cafeteria knowing her friends would be curious as to why she was late. Not that they'd understand or anything.

     "Hey Fluttershy. What took you so long?" her rainbow haired friend asked, the impatience swimming in her eyes echoed in her voice.

     "Really Dash? You got here not even a minute ago," Applejack rolled her eyes and smiled at Fluttershy, letting her know the world's going to survive if she were even just the slightest bit late.

     "Yeah, well I'm always fashionably late y'know."

     "Wait, last week you said you're never late!" Applejack smirked at the now befuddled Rainbow Dash.

     "I uhh—I'm always fashionably late," the prismatic girl claimed proudly.

     "What in tarnation does that even mean? 'Cause to me it just sounds like late."

     Fluttershy looked around the table and caught Sunset rolling her eyes as Pinkie threw her spoon at the notes her and Twilight were exchanging. Rarity, of course, was polishing her nails a dark violet, waiting for the rest of the table to stop their rather immature shenanigans.

     "It means that I'm not late late. Because I'm not. Not now and not never." Rainbow catapulted her broccoli with her spoon to the irritated Applejack.

     "Never mind, Ah give up," the farm girl face-palmed.

      A face full of broccoli was the only thing preventing Dash from unleashing a barrage of taunts upon the girl. "Pinkie!"

     "What? Weren't we having a food fight?" the pink coloured mass called Pinkie Pie blinked in confusion. She looked around the cafeteria as though looking for someone to back her up.

     "So what is it that you wanted everyone present for?" Twilight asked Applejack.

     "Well Ah have left over money from this year's bake sales. A lot of it. And Ah was thinking yesterday that it'd be nice if Ah could get my best friends something this year for Christmas. Well, ya know, within reason," every word she spoke seemed to exude both pride and giddy excitement. She gave the group a couple of seconds to digest this new information. "And anyway, if there's anything ya want that ain't too expensive, Christmas is in four weeks and I'm buying for all y'all.".

     "Oh! Me first! Me first! First I wanna automatic super cupcake mixer and baker with icing dispensers and then I wan—" Pinkie was cut off as Rarity covered her mouth with her hand.

     "Whoa, is that even a real thing? 'Cause that would be awesome!" Rainbow stared Pinkie in the eye.

     "I hope so," she smiled, completely unaware that she'd just wasted three seconds of her friends' time to ask for something that most definitely didn't exist.

     "...you know, if it isn't too much," Rainbow Dash finished.

     "You know that could've been summed up eight seconds, right? There was seriously no need for fifteen minutes of... whatever that was." Rarity sighed as she applied makeup in a handheld mirror.

     "And what about y'all Fluttershy?" Applejack instantly disregarded the nonsensical babble that their prismatic friend had just spewed.

     At this Fluttershy pondered. What did she want? Some new oil paints would be nice. No, it needed to be something special. Something that would give her happy memories. Memories of her home before moving to Canterlot, she felt, would be best.

     "Well... some great tits would be nice, if that's alright with you." she smiled warmly at the thought.

     "Uh F—Fluttershy? How much does that even cost?" Applejack felt her face grow warmer. At that question, the already chuckling table burst into laughter, save for Pinkie Pie, who in fact looked perplexed.

     "Well, you see, I— uhh, maybe I don't quite know?" she said completely oblivious to what they, with the exception of Pinkie, of course, thought she meant.

     "Ah'm sorry, Ah really am, but Ah don't think Ah can do that." the farm girl tried tried to not let out even a snicker.

     "Okay, did Pinkie put you up to this?" Rainbow spoke between laughs and gasping breaths.

     "Put her up to what?"  the pink hair covered flesh creature tilted its head.

     "Oh my Faust Pinkie! You couldn't be more obvious," Rainbow laughed even harder

     "But I don't know what you're talking about."

     "She seems to be telling the truth," Applejack said. Everyone who'd been laughing at that particular table stopped.

     "Oh shit," was all Rainbow could manage.

     "Why's that so funny, if I may ask?" Fluttershy finally built up enough courage, something which.she'd never imagined being able to do, to ask why she was being laughed at.

      "Well, y'all see, we didn't think that you were actua—"

      "Great tits!" Dash interrupted Applejack as per usual for any conversation.

      "Oooh, I get it now!" Pinkie started laughing with the rest of the table.

      Fluttershy too realized what everyone was thinking and turned nearly fifty shades of red. Oh God! What kind of a name is that for a bird? Who even named them?

     As Fluttershy realized what a horrible name for a sub-species 'Great Tits' was and her friends laughed at her, the whole cafeteria was silent, trying to figure out what in the hell had just happened. Rumour has it that the laughter levels were over nine-thousand.