Some Crossovers Should Never Happen

by Bucky

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Crossover
Length: 501

Everybody knows about crossover fics. Fallout Equestria, etc. but some crossovers just shouldn't...

Crossovers! Crossovers everywhere! Whether it be Fallout: Equestria, the sheer mass of related fics, and other TV show and video game related stories, everyone has read at least one crossover. However, with all the amazing crossovers that exist, there are some that, well, just shouldn't.

I have decided to write some of these crossovers. May God have mercy on my soul.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-05-24 22:58:36 UTC

Superman in Equestria (Speedfic Challenge)

Some Crossovers Should Never Happen

Superman in Equestria

Author's Note: I had 10 minutes to write a story about Superman. Please pretend this never existed. I know I will.

“Gr! Lex Luthor! You and your incredibly bald head are finished!” Superman yelled, flying at his foe top-speed.

“Oh yeah? That’s what you think!” Lex Luthor replied, pressing a button that was conveniently placed on his cufflinks.

Lex Luthor suddenly dove out of the way of Superman and landed on the ground with a small thud, what appeared to be a portal exactly where he had just been standing.

“Oh no! I’m going too faaaaaaaaast!” Superman cried, not even attempting to slow down or steer clear of the portal.

“Yes, you fool! And now you will go through that portal and to God knows where. I will think you are dead, as will the entire world! But deep down we both know you’ll be alive because you’re invincible and this story would be pointless (and not approved on Fimfiction) if you somehow didn’t manage to survive. Mwa hahahahaha!”

Superman continued flying toward the cliché portal in a horribly drawn out manner, screaming in manly terror.

“Lois!” he screamed to the brunette that was apparently watching the entire time.

“Yes Superman?” she replied, swooning over the gorgeous hunk of a stud muffin that was somehow still flying to his doom.

“I love you!”

“Oh Superm-“

“And I’m Clark Kent!”

“…..” Lois Lane stood and stared at him, slack jawed. “Ya’ know, I think I’m just gonna go home.”

She did.

“Egads! I’ve finally reached the portal! Oh noooooooo-” Superman blasted through the hole which closed behind him instantly.

“I am the victor! I’m going to rule the world, starting with Metropolis! Huzzah!” Lex walked away from the scene and returned to his mansion where he shortly after dominated the entirety of Earth.

“-oooooooo!” Superman finished screaming. He looked around, half expecting to find himself in some terrible danger. Instead, he saw a familiar blue sky and sun. “What is this place?” he asked himself.

In the distance he noticed what appeared to be buildings; a town.

Ponyville.

“Attention citizens! I am Su…per..” Superman started, glancing at the townsfolk that gathered in a massive crowd before him. They were all pastel colored ponies. Their big eyes staring back up at him in horror and confusion. “Man…” he finished, entirely unsure what to do.

“Is that a…” a voice said from in the middle of a crowd. The group of ponies quickly spread out, revealing an aquamarine unicorn. “Oh my Celestia! It’s a human!”

The ponies turned to face Superman who remained in the air, feeling like the shit.

“I knew they existed!” she chirped brightly. Her demeanor suddenly changed to pure evil. “You foals! You all judged me. Said I was craaaazy! Now who’s the crazy one, huh?”

She got herself into such a frenzy that she exploded, destroying all of Equestria.

Even Superman.

THE END.