Heads Under Your Beds

by sunnypack

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Human, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Comedy
Length: 5003

Humans. Mythological creatures that parents tell their children will eat you if you're not careful. Fabled to exist in tight, dark places such as your closet or under your bed. Suggested advice: Kill on sight. Ignore at your own peril.

Twilight is a mare of science and magic. Everything exists in known quantities and values. So of course, mythological creatures such as humans don't exist, don't be ridiculous. So... what's that thing? Why is it following her? What purpose does it have?

A fiction where Twilight learns the truth about humans... and doesn't like the implications at all.

F**K this prompt: Your self-insert is shipped romantically with one of the mane six. Or something. Whatever, I lost the original idea.

Edited by the wizardly Izanagi!

Published 2015-08-10 15:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-10 15:30:02 UTC

1 - He Sees You when You're Sleeping

Chapter 1: He Knows When You’re Awake…

One of the best perks of growing up is that most of your irrational, superstitious fears are gone by the time you reach adulthood. Things like the dark, heights, spiders and creepy crawlies and scary clown-like things, no longer evoke the knee-jerk response they used to. You feel a slight frisson of trepidation, maybe a small gasp or a choked syllable, but it’s viciously quashed under your years of social adaptation. Your friends are around, your enemies closer, and that nagging fear is a weakness easily suppressed by the weight of social stigmata that will inevitably follow if your absurd fear is voiced.

Human | ‘hju:mən |

Noun

A omnivorous monkey-like being, fabled to appear in the closet or under the bedding of young foals. It is said that they can smell your fear from a distance of over twenty feet. Humans hunt their prey by endlessly stalking them, until they collapse from fear and/or exhaustion. Despite biology, humans don’t seem interested in eating their prey, just hunting them. This makes them all the more intimidating. Just your typical monster under your bed.

I never thought they were real.

Until now.

————

Spike was grunting again.

Usually, I didn’t mind the odd noise stemming from the dragon, but this time it was persistent.

“Spike?”

Spike peered up from his comic at my behest.

“Yeah, Twi’?”

“Do you have a problem?”

Spike glanced back at the comic, then back at me. He sighed, realising that some commentary would be necessary on his part to explain his incessant grunts.

“It’s this comic. There’s this kind of romance sub-plot that’s been bugging me.”

“That’s the author’s choice, isn’t it?”

Spike pursed his lips and huffed.

“I don’t like it,” he replied.

I shrugged. “You don’t have to, just enjoy the rest.”

Spike flicked the comic into his ‘read’ pile with a disgusted snort.

“I can’t,” he said, fetching a new one. “It’s ruining the whole thing.”

Usually, I’d lecture him on the intricacies of plot development, characterisation and the webbing of interplay between these that comic writers had to go through, but I let it go, mainly because I was more focused on what I was reading. I suddenly had a thought.

“Hey Spike?”

“Mmm?” Spike was deeply immersed in his comic, and barely stopped humming to give his response. The dragon was flicking through one of the older issues of his comic collection, a melodious growl accompanying his perusal. He had taken to humming to himself when he read through his favourite titles. At first it had annoyed me, but the more I listened, the more I realised that Spike actually had a pleasant voice. Besides, he always completed the song he hummed, with a different tune to each text. It was comforting, in a way.

“Do you think humans exist?” I asked.

Spike put down his comic, his humming dying off as his curiosity rose.

“No,” he replied, eyes wide and inquisitive. “What’s a human?”

I gestured to the book I held. It was a small grimoire of esoteric spells. Spells designed to perform petty tricks and magical slights. It was more a mental exercise than a serious study text on sorcery, but it had its few quirks, among which it mentioned the mythical creature, a human.

“It’s… hard to explain. Do you want to see a picture?”

That got Spike’s attention. If I had asked him to read the lengthy tome, undoubtedly he would have turned back to reading his comic, but I was curious to see what Spike thought about the creature from his younger perspective.

“It looks kind of silly,” Spike commented, pointing at the picture. “I mean it’s in a sort of threatening pose, I guess, but I’ve seen comic villains that are scarier than that thing.”

I nodded, my suspicions crystallising into certainty.

“I thought as much,” I said, gazing at the image. It looked vaguely similar to a Minotaur in its stance, upright on two legs. It had similar hands and beady little eyes. Overall, it didn’t look threatening at all. “It’s supposed to scare foals into behaving. It hasn’t been used since the Equestria was formed, so it’s very obscure lore.”

Spike frowned. “So it doesn’t really exist?”

I nodded. “It’s just a myth, although an interesting one.”

“So what’s that got to do with what you’re reading?” He pointed at the spine of the book, showing a rare interest in my spells. Usually, he’d already be across the room nose-deep in another comic. I felt a surge of pride. Spike might not know about the intricacies of spells and incantations, but he certainly knew that mythological creatures don’t have much connection to party spells and joke conjurations.

“According to the unnamed author, it goes on about summoning one, or so it seems,” I explained, flipping to the appropriate page.

Spike tapped his chin with a claw. “Huh,” he said, then his eyes brightened. “Are you going to give it a try?”

I scanned the page, and gave a shrug. “The spell doesn’t look complicated, so I doubt it actually works. I was just curious because I haven’t heard what a human is.”

I raised myself out of my prone position and stretched out my hooves with both aching and satisfying cracks. With a brisk trot, I headed over to the shelves lined with reference volumes. From Anti-malefication to Zygantry, my small, but extensive library would surely house some information on humans.

Spike called out after me.

“Hey,” he said. “Aren’t you going to give it a go?”

I gave Spike a tolerant smile, shaking my head slightly as I scanned the spines of the books lined on the shelves.

“We have to check whether these humans are actually dangerous. I mean, all I have is just that picture.”

Spike didn’t appear to see the reasoning in my argument.

“Aren’t you being overly-cautious?” he queried. “These humans don’t really exist, so it’s more than likely that the spell is…” Spike trailed off, his brow furrowing as he tried to recall the technical term. “Uhhh… images, something to do with images…” He snapped his claws with a bright expression. “An optically-grounded thaumokinetic illusion!”

I started, frankly surprised that Spike had thought that far ahead. Spike caught my expression and chuckled.

“Hey,” he said with a deprecating shrug. “I do pick up one or two things around you.”

I grinned. “I’m so proud of you!” I exclaimed, placing back the reference material for humans. Maybe Spike was right, I was just being too cautious. The spell was simple, it was likely to be an illusory spell. I felt a surge of warmth. That was a particularly clever pickup for my assistant.

I wrapped a wing around the dragon, bringing him close.

“You know you’re my number one assistant, right?” I said.

Spike blushed and pulled away from me.

“Yeah, yeah Twi’,” he said quickly. He leaned over and snatched up the grimoire. “Let’s check out what the spell does!”

I nodded, my smile creasing into a frown of concentration as I telekinetically flicked to the right page of the grimoire and began focusing on summoning. I mentally parsed through the step-by-step process of spell casting.

Step one: Prepare.

First would be construction. Most spells didn’t require preparation, but it was a good idea to know what went into a spell, and if there were to be precautions to take. I had to lay everything out just right. A mistake could cause unintended side effects. Just ask Spike. He didn’t look to happy the last time I botched the time limit on my transforming spell. One minute became a week. Oops.

Lines were drawn, formulas were calculated, theory debated. Spike watched me for a while, but got bored and went back to reading his comic. I didn’t blame him. Though I loved magic, sometimes the tedium of spell preparation got to me as well.

Despite all of that, there was something therapeutic about spell preparation. I don’t know if it was the motions, the comforting familiarity of revising spell-forms and designs, or the tingle of anticipation that crept down my hooves and tied my belly into knots. After checking the mental construction in my mind for the ninth time, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

Step 2: Focus.

This was the most crucial part of a spell caster’s procedure.

The spell was vastly dissimilar to anything I had felt before. Usually, a spell was like a key turning in a lock. When the key caught and the tumblers clicked into place, you knew that the spell would just work. Sometimes, in the middle of a spell, you could tell something would go wrong. If you were fast enough, you can terminate the spell, but the magical energy is drawn exponentially, so it happens in a surge. For most spells, especially high-power ones, it happens too fast to stop it.

Step 3: Cast

As my horn glowed, I was aware of a strange sensation, like I was pushing against something solid. It felt similar to when I was trying to lift something heavy. my horn felt like a pony was sitting on it, and my head sagged with the strain of trying to fight against the force.

“Hey Twi’, are you alright?”

I could just spot Spike through my squinted eyes. He had a worried look etched into his face, one where he was equally parts concerned with his safety as well as mine. I don’t blame him, but I promise my spell casting is now a lot less lethal than the time I experimented with pyrogenesis.

“You don’t look so good,” he persisted. “Do you need help?”

I gasped, but held on. If I cancelled the spell now, with all the currents running through my body, I could suffer severe whiplash effects. Effectively, the whole spell’s energy could discharge straight into the air around me. It would stop the spell for sure, but the resultant concussive wave might injure Spike.

I imagined Spike’s guileless eyes taking in the resultant explosion. No. He trusted me, I couldn’t do that to him.

Hold on, I thought to myself furiously. Keep it going.

Suddenly, my body locked rigid as magic surged through my body and flowed through my horn. A bright flash filled the room. The faint smell of ozone permeated the air.

“Twilight!” I heard Spike shout.

Then ringing, a loud whine that filled my ears as I staggered to and fro. Spike, where was he? Oh there he is! Wait, there are two of you. Hold still, stop moving around. I just…

“Brr!”

I shook my head a couple of times, and blinked rapidly. Oh that’s better. I was wondering why there were two tables, two books, two shelves…

“Brr!”

I shook my head again. Much better. Spike had stopped moving, or at least his images had stopped moving. In fact, I’m pretty sure he had just been standing there the whole time looking at me with the same concerned expression for the last few minutes.

“Twi’? You alright?” he asked.

“Ugh,” I replied, words slurring together as my brain tried to connect the movement of my tongue to the coordinated enunciation of my vocal chords. It was a supposedly simple exercise that failed miserably.

“Ablahbleghruugah,” I managed to choke out.

“What?” Spike said.

I tried substituting volume for clarity.

“ABLAAABLEGUUUGRAAARHH!”

It didn’t work.

Spike shook his head. “Twi’ I think you busted something with your mouth.” He frowned at my expression. Which was the tiniest bit sulking, by the way. “Come on, we should go to the hospital.”

I blinked a few times and shook my head, the action sends a few strands of my mane cascading across my eyes.

“Naaww,” my garbled voice articulated. “Ahhhhm faaaaahn.”

“You’re fine?” Spike repeated with a raised eyebrow.

I nodded vigorously to communicate how serious I was about that statement. It must not have had the amazing propensity to change Spike’s mind because he stood mute with folded arms, looking unconvinced. Eyes wide, but not exactly pleading, I stretched my grin a little wider.

“Noooah weaallly,” I insisted. “Izz geddin’ beddar.”

Spike rolled his eyes, but seeing that I wasn’t going to move from the issue he uncrossed his arms and sighed.

“Well, if you think so, Twi’,” he said, then glanced at the grimoire. “Yeah, that’s a bummer. Nothing happened.” His gaze lingered on the grimoire. “Pretty sure that was a dud.” He looked disappointed with the results. Well… so was I, but I managed to swallow that down with my pride. Spells rarely worked the first time. It’s all practice. Still, I felt a little sting of disappointment that it didn’t work straight up.

With a sagging nod, I forced my drooping head to cooperate. Line of sight. Line. Of. Sight. The room tilted a little before I forced my perspective to conform to natural alignment. Which I assure you, is not an unreasonable request. The room tilted once again before reluctantly coming back.

What the heck was wrong with my body? Better check to make sure everything else survived.

I tentatively experimented with flexing my foreleg. That was okay. Alright, other foreleg. That’s fine. Neck stretch— woah!

*Crick*

*Thump*

I found myself splayed out on the floor.

“Fedch a daktaa,” I mumbled. Now I was starting to panic. I couldn’t move anything below my neck!

Spike eyed me frozen on the floor, looking equal parts concerned and confused.

“A what?”

I forced myself to enunciate the syllables slowly.

“Aaaa daaaarrrrrkkk-taaaaaaar,” I repeated, my voice somewhat awkwardly muffled by my mouth pressing into the floor.

Spike stood there for a moment longer before comprehension dawned.

“Oh,” he said. “Oh! A doctor!” He started dancing around. Then glanced at the door, his claws stretched out in an unhelpful waving gesture. I suppose he was trying to communicate calm, but his antsy dancing from one leg to the other really put off his bedside manner.

“Nooooowww, Spake!” I used what was left of my pronounceable syllables. Which wasn’t much, but it got the point across.

“Okay!” he replied quickly, dashing out of my field of view. It was a pittance, covering only half of the room. It wasn’t even the interesting bookshelf-half. It was the boring-crystal-wall-half.

Dear Celestia, I thought to myself. What a day.

—————

Alone in the room, I could do little else except ruminate on my recent failure. I became acutely aware of many things, most of all a phantom itching occurring on my right hind hoof, and a strand of my mane that periodically poked me in the eye with no amount of my frantic puffs was helping in moving it permanently away.

When I can move again, I thought darkly. I know a pair of scissors that would more than welcome your untimely demise.

It might seem strange that you would talk to your hair, but put a pony in a room long enough with nothing else to do except talk to her hair and see how well you do!

I suppose I shouldn’t have been so surprised that I could hear breathing in the background. What with the way my luck was since the start of the day. I was almost glad, though, because that was the most exciting thing that had happened to me since Spike left me on the floor.

“Whoever you are, I can hear you breathing!”

Huh, well at least I could talk again. I tried to shift into a better position. Nope, still paralysed. My ears strained in the silence.

The breathing had stopped.

I could feel my ears twitching this way and that, trying to pinpoint the source of the sound. My hearing is sensitive enough to pick up the faint rustling of loose leaf paper on my study desk in concerto with the drafts flowing through the castle. It was probably the sound of the castle drafts that was getting to me. That’s all.

I heard a soft sigh.

It was almost imperceptible, but definitely distinct from the draughty air currents nearby.

“Hello?” I called out. I hated how my voice cracked in the last part of the word. “I know you’re there!”

Silence, save for the rasp of my ragged breathing and the steadily increasing volume of my heart pounding in my head.

Calm down, calm down, why are you so twitchy?

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Was that Spike? He couldn’t have come back, not all the way from the hospital so quickly.

“Spike?” I called out. My voice echoed around the room. It felt just as hollow as the first time I had called out. I suddenly realised how far away from help I was. Paralysed, nopony around to help. Spike had gone to fetch somepony to help…

Yes, just stay calm. You’re freaking out and hearing things because of the spell. That’s right. The spell.

Overexerting yourself while casting a spell can be dangerous. I must be getting delirious from the lack of oxygen getting to my brain. I haven’t ever heard of that happening, but it’s entirely possible! I mean conceivably when you strain yourself and one of the spell-streams goes down the wrong path and it might intersect with a major artery—

“Heeeeey.”

I froze. That wasn’t from Spike. From my position on the floor it was difficult to see anything other than the wall, but my eyes raked across whatever I could find, trying to track down who spoke that word. I was certain it was spoken.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

My ears twitched madly. It was somewhere behind me and approaching with irregular steps.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

It was getting closer!

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Thump.

It seemed like it stopped. I could hear… whatever it was breathing steadily.

“You look like you could use some company… Don’t worry, I’ll be here for a looong time.”

The voice was hoarse and coarse, like the words tumbled over thick sandpaper to get out of its throat. As it spoke, some undefinable odour wafted in the air. I couldn’t pin down what it was, but whatever it was, some inner part of me wanted to get up and flee, flee, flee! I tried to rise, but my legs wouldn’t obey me. I was still paralysed. Not so much as a twitch in my hooves. Panic flooded through my body. Shivers cascaded down my spine. My breath drew in ragged heaves.

Get ahold of yourself, Twilight! Stay calm, I thought to myself furiously. It could be something that was just being unintentionally creepy. Yep. It’s just a creepy, large, misshapen monster sneaking up behind me saying very misleading ominous threats!

My thoughts suddenly flickered over to the summoning tome.

The awful numbness of my body was receding, but it was rapidly being replaced by shivering.

An omnivorous monkey-like being… that stalked their prey endlessly to the point of exhaustion. Once there…

Dear Celestia… had I managed to summon a human?

I heard the sound of the door clicking open. More muted steps.

Oh dear Celestia, there were more of them!

Thump, thump, thump.

It was near me now. In jagged, mechanical movements, I jerked my head around.

Large emerald eyes, cat-like irises and sharp fangs.

“Ahhhhh!”

“AHHHHH!”

“AHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

“AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH WHY ARE WE SCREAMING?!”

“I DON’T KNOW, YOU LOOKED REALLY SCARY WHEN I SAW YOU!”

“SUDDENLY SCREAMING SCARED ME TOO!”

“REALLY?!”

“YEAH!”

“THINK WE SHOULD STOP?!”

“I DON’T KNOW, BUT IT’S STARTING TO HURT TO KEEP SCREAMING LIKE THIS!”

“YEAH I’VE ABOUT GOT IT OUT OF MY SYSTEM NOW—”

*cough* *hack*

Though I was scared half to death by Spike sneaking up on me, I was grateful that he came when he did. Obviously from the way Spike was calming down and stepping back, the human wasn’t around. I couldn’t be sure it was even a figment of my imagination. It seemed so real… Spike waved at somepony. I’m glad he was here. Hallucinations. That’s right. I was starting to hallucinate pretty badly.

A blur of white shouldered her way past Spike.

“That’s enough of stressing the patient,” Nurse Redheart growled. “We need a stretcher! Doctor Stable!”

“Coming, coming!” a gruff voice replied. It sounded strained. “These stairs, every time.”

Nurse Redheart rolled her eyes, then turned to me and gave an apologetic smile. I liked Nurse Redheart, because she hadn’t treated me differently after I became Princess. She just snorted and told me that I was a patient, one of many that she was happy to take care of. Unfortunately, Ponyville wasn’t big enough to have an ambulance and paramedics on standby, so Nurse Redheart and Doctor Stable took over that job. Immediately, I felt myself grow calmer in their presence.

I heard a couple of huffs and puffs, then a cool hoof felt my forehead. “Let’s see… no temperature, just a bit of perspiration. Possibly from the overexertion of the spell.” I saw Doctor Stable poke his head into my field of view.

“Hmm,” he said. “Symptoms all fit Spellunking’s.” A quick glance confirmed he had already harnessed himself onto the stretcher. “Nurse, please grab ahold of the Princess’ rear hooves, I’ll get her body. Spike, can you grab any loose ends?”

“Loose ends?”

“Just make sure she doesn’t fall.”

“Okay, sure!”

“On three. One. Two. Three!”

I was jerked none too softly onto the stretcher, but the soft cloth and the measured rhythm of the Doctor and the Nurse’s canter was enough to lull me into a drowsy state. The longer I stayed with these ponies, the more convinced I was that I had hallucinated the human. Ridiculous. Just a myth.

“Spike?” My voice sounded strange, like I wasn’t the one speaking.

“Yeah, Twi’?”

“Make sure you clean up the… library…”

A claw patted me briefly on the head before my eyes gave up altogether and I drifted off…

“Twi’ sure has her priorities straight,” he chuckled to the nurse. Then he turned to me, giving me a gentle smile. “Sure thing.”

That was the last thing I heard.

—————

With a start, my eyes flew open.

“Maamppph!”

For a terrifying moment, I thought my mouth had given up functioning. Then I realised the bed sheet covers had somehow managed to find their way into my mouth. With no small measure of embarrassment, I removed them and glanced around the room, fully expecting somepony to comment on the way I woke up. As I moved up into a seated position, I realised that my body was once again obeying my commands.

A wide grin split my lips. Oh the feeling of moving my hooves around! I stretched, luxuriating in the simple feeling of my muscles protesting against my demands. Too bad body, think of it as tough love. I almost squealed in delight. Ah, I never knew the simple act of moving could feel so liberating!

“So glad you’re enjoying yourself.”

The words were quiet, but not at all sinister. Though I recognised the voice, and I couldn’t help but feel a frisson of fear flow down my spine.

I turned around, trying to catch a glimpse of the voice’s owner.

It was there. Large as life. A myth in flesh.

A human.

The human looked delighted at my horrified expression. It studied me the same way a gleeful foal would a science experiment, although that may have just been me in my foalhood. I really have to stop my runaway thoughts.

It approached with steady steps.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

The human stopped in front of me, grinning that awful grin and regarding me in a way that made me swallow a little louder than posterity’s sake would allow.

“Do you know what a human is?” it asked me, as it licked its teeth.

I nodded hesitantly, derailed by its seemingly innocuous question. The human snapped its fingers in a Discordian way. I found that I liked the sound coming from this human as much as I liked the sound of it from Discord himself.

“Right you are!” it exclaimed, clapping its hands. “But I am a servant of that which is feared. I am an avatar of all that you fear the most. And you, Twilight Sparkle, summoner of humans, have a primal fear that I will soon reveal to you.”

Throughout its little speech, I had carefully edged away from it, in preparation to leap out of the bed. Maybe if I could throw the bed sheets over its head, it might buy me some time to rally the girls and think of a way to stop it. The hospital… one of the worst places a monster could be.

The human appeared to be watching me with interest.

“Oh no,” it said, eyeing me with sharp eyes. “I won’t chase after you physically, a fool’s errand that would be.” It tutted, sucking its teeth with mocking vigour. “Because that wouldn’t scare you. That wouldn’t put the fear into your heart.” The human gestured with a gangly appendage, waggling it to and fro with undisguised glee. “You’ll have to contend with something far, far worse.”

I was aware of the painful pounding of my heart. Was there something more scary than a monster chasing after you? A monster in myth that would hunt its prey to exhaustion?

I couldn’t help herself, a phrase slipped unbidden from my tongue before I could snatch it back.

“What will?” I squeaked.

“What is more terrifying,” the monster spoke, “than a forced romantic relationship?”

It danced around, clapping its hands with joy.

I stopped. That didn’t sound so bad.

“What?” I snorted. “With you?”

The human laughed at some joke that I didn’t seem to get. From the air he plunged his forelimb into… something. The air seemed to rip and ripple under the impact of him drawing something out. With a grunt, he withdrew his arm, revealing a tome that glowed and shimmered as if wreathed with some ethereal light.

“You know what this is?” he asked me.

I cautiously shook my head.

“This is the plot. The outline, if you will.” He flicked through the page, licking his thumb as he did so. “Let’s see, hum dee dum. ‘Woke up in the hospital and met the mythical beast… blah, blah, talks to human, realises– oh too far!’ ah! Here!”

Curiosity piqued my scholarly side.

“What plot? What outline?” I asked. A niggling thought teased at the edge of my conscious, but I refused to acknowledge it.

The human had that savage grin again, like a cat considering a cornered mouse. Whether to play with its prey, or… eat it straightaway.

“Come on, Twilight. You’re a smart mare. You know what this is,” he said, smacking the book with an open palm for emphasis. The front cover featured a map of Equestria, with a gold-embossed title proclaiming boldly, ‘Heads Under Your Beds, by sunnypack’.

When I gave him a blank look, he cleared his throat with a smug smile and began reading from the script.

“I watched him as he read from the book, at first not understanding why he did it. As seconds ticked past, and he continued further into the book, it became clear to me what this book was about. I knew word, for word, what he was going to say. I had to place my hooves across my ears—”

“Stop! Stop! Stop!” I jammed my hooves into my ears. I couldn’t take it anymore, hearing my voice twice in my head! Then my eyes widened as realisation dawned on me.

The human studied me.

“Yessss…” he hissed.

He knew I knew. My mouth moved as if guided by some divine force.

“It’s the plot for…”

“Yes…”

“…this story.”

“Yes.”

His last word was practically dripping with malice.

I was suddenly aware of it. This whole universe. This whole construction. I saw everything for what it was and what it would be.

“No,” I mumbled. “I think, therefore I am! I know I’m a pony! I am an intelligent being. I’m in charge of my own destiny!”

My voice rose in pitch as I tried to drown out that awful chuckle the human emitted from his emancipated chest.

“I have a life, friends I can trust. I-I’m a Princess of Equestria—”

The human licked his lips, as if physically savouring the moment.

“And,” he said with deliberate intent. “You’re. All. Mine!”

I sagged to the ground, the implications steadily sinking in.

Adventures and decisions and lifetimes that I would be a part of, but never of my own choosing. The horror of which that I would never be aware of it, unless… he chose it to be.

I had to almost choke back a gasp as another thought struck me.

What type of story was I in?

“Who knows?” the human replied easily. “Your conflict is literally within my hands. It could be adventure. It could be slice of life. It could be… romance.”

Thoughts about faceless stallions… or mare, or anything that could be romantically tied to me rushed through my mind. Choices I couldn’t make. Relationships I wouldn’t chose of my own volition, trapped to play it out as part of a story. Dear Celestia, could this human even think about a self-insert?

“The greatest part of this is that I can write it out! You won’t remember a thing!” he cackled.

I didn’t know what the response was for that.

It was beyond words.

Truly, the human was a terrifying being.

Author's Note

I haven't written anything substantial for a while, so I decided to give this a shot.

Meh!

Next Chapter: To be written by a human.

As always, my creeped-out readers, thanks for reading!

P.S. I did a much-needed editing pass and fixed my derp tensing and grammatical flubs. Some sentences were changed for better flow. Ugh, I need to stop publishing so late and rushed. Thanks for your patience!

P.P.S. Izanagi came back and put some much-needed additional editing!