Big In Minos

by Aurucite

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random
Length: 2264

After cowing Iron Will, Fluttershy experiences some unexpected popularity from his home country of Minos.

"When someone gives you bull, you take them by the horns! … If that's okay, I mean." - Fluttershy

This alleged quote flooded the main newspaper in Minos (formerly Minotauria, until someone wised up and changed the name). Turns out, the filly did a stint as a model, kicked a dragon from his cave by yelling at it, and apparently wrestles bears in her spare time. Oh and she schooled Vice President Iron Will.

Her sheer awesomeness has sprung up an underground fandom in the seedy underbelly of Minos, where Fluttershy themed collectables are a very hot commodity.

Fluttershy is blissfully unaware of this, but someone keeps stealing all of her bills, and it's starting to frustrate her. Time to get to the bottom of this! … If you don't mind, of course.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-09-14 03:14:29 UTC

Chapter 1

“Oh dear, that’s the third week they forgot my mail.”

Fluttershy sighed to herself, closing her empty mailbox. She had been waiting for her notice from the town to pay her taxes for the year.

“I was hoping they would send a form again. Looks like I have to go into town after all, Angel.” She smiled to her ever compassionate and caring companion, Angel Bunny. He stood imperiously atop the steps to their home, gazing at his mistress for a long moment. Then he turned around, and with grace and understanding, slammed and locked the door.

“I love you too, Angel. Momma will be back soon.”

Ponyville was always a hive of bustling activity. Being a farming community, there were always ponies with places to be, and they were always happy to wave and greet their neighbours, no matter how distant.

“Just keep your head down, Fluttershy. Pretend to be reading your notice. They’ll let you be.” she murmured to herself. It was a good plan, really. It worked for her every time she came to town with a grocery list, or letter, or any one of Twilight’s fifteen assorted checklists she had made to help Fluttershy’s animal care needs. Unfortunately, she had none of those, thanks to Angel helpfully locking her out of her home. Not to let reality deter her, she shrunk into her protective bubble of anxiety. Surely that would keep ponies away from her.

“Ohmigosh, it’s Fluttershy! Can you sign my baby!?”

Or not.

“Fluttershy? Where!? I loved her in the ‘Hotflanks Day Calendar’!”

Once again, our winged heroine found herself pursued through the streets and alleyways of Ponyville. When she finally remembered she had wings, she escaped and hid in a cloud for a few minutes, until the fanfillies saw something else shiny and forgot about her again. Slowly the lone cloud creeped across the sky, parking itself atop city hall, and raining a yellow pegasus on their doorstep. Steeling her courage, she opened the door and crept inside.

‘Oh I hope Mayor Mare is free. Her secretary is very nice, but she’s so pushy.’

Luck was on her side, and she dodged a heart-thumping conversation with Personal Aide, the receptionist. The ‘out to lunch’ sign on the receptionist’s desk clearly showed that she had two minutes remaining, which in the government office that meant she would be gone for at least another hour. A quick peek over the top showed that Mayor Mare’s schedule was free for ten minutes as well.

‘I could just walk in and- What am I thinking!? Just walking into someone’s office? That’s so rude! She’d be mad, and yell at me, and I’ll go home and-’

Bumping her nose on the Mayor’s office door, her treacherous body had soldiered onward, heedless of her internal monologue. Hesitantly, she raised a hoof and knocked. Well the sound could generously be described as a knock, on a clear day, with no other sounds, if you listened closely. Thankfully, the door was already open, and responded by creaking ominously. The unoiled hinges squealing like something out of a horror movie.

“I’ve been meaning to get Aide to oil that at some point. It makes me feel like some kind of villain. Fluttershy? What a pleasant surprise. Is there something I can help you with?” The grey maned earth pony greeted her, removing her pince-nez. Setting aside a small mountain of paperwork, Mayor Mare smiled at a very welcome excuse to ignore the forms for a few minutes.

“I-I’m sorry, mayor, I know you’re busy. What with all the taxes and everything. Sometimes ponies get missed, and forms don’t get sent out, it’s no big deal. I understand. I-I … I’ll just go.”

The mayor sat up from her chair, with a puzzled look. She trotted over to a section of the papers marked ‘out’ and pulled out the bottom one.

“Whatever are you talking about dear? Yours was the first to cross my desk, three days ago. 357 bits in property taxes, paid in full. Also your usual donations, 249 bits in total to foal welfare, park maintenance,  and…”

The mare trailed off, noticing the building look of confusion on the pegasus’ face. Silence reigned for but a moment, growing steadily more awkward. A kindly smile built on the mayor’s face, bearing a hint of understanding as she she tenderly set a hoof on her visitor’s shoulder.

“I know it can be stressful around this time of year. Here, I’ll write you up a receipt so you don’t forget again. Thank you for being so prompt and caring.”

‘...604, 605, 606. 606 bits. Exactly the total she gave me.’

Fluttershy sat on a bench in the park, counting her coin purse and checking the receipt again. It was the third time she had done so, just to make sure.

“Howdy Fluttershy. Something not adding up?” a friendly voice called to her, complete with matching smile, and stetson. The question snapped Fluttershy out of her reverie as her orange, apple friend sauntered up to her, hauling an empty applecart. She started for a moment, then took a breath and unruffled her wings before returning Applejack’s friendly grin with an equally friendly, though more reserved one.

“Oh thank you for asking Applejack, but no, it’s all there. Apparently I already paid my taxes. Mayor Mare wouldn’t let me pay them again, even as a donation. She said something about ‘bribes’ and ‘corruption’ and hurried me out of the office. I’m so confused.”

“Well it’s mighty honest of you both. Maybe you just plum forgot? I know how Big Mac gets this time of year, when he’s doing the fancy math for the farm. He spent half an hour looking for his yoke, and he was already wearing it! Granny gave him a tap with the spoon so he’d get out of her kitchen and into the fields.”

The two friends shared a laugh at the story, and Fluttershy felt some of her stress melt away. Maybe she had just forgotten. Angel had been … lovely these past few days. And taxes were stressful.

“Possibly. I could afford a lot of spa days with Rarity, maybe I can be the generous one for once and treat you all.” She smiled at the thought.

“If that’s what you want to do with it. I think you deserve to treat yourself, you work hard after all.” Applejack wrinkled her nose at the mention of the spa, but fought through it. She spent a day helping critter-sit for Fluttershy, and a massage after that kind of stress sounded downright reasonable to her. “I’d best be off though so maybe another time. Gotta get back and make sure Mac hasn’t watered the fields twice or some nonsense. Later.”

Waving to her friend, Fluttershy decided to treat herself to a nice lunch at the fanciest restaurant in town. Maybe she would invite one of her friends along if she ran into them. That would be very … nice.

The lineup for Ches Snooty was surprisingly long. With Luna’s rising popularity, the most chic eatery in ponyville had borrowed her formerly nightmarish theme, and somehow taken a naming idea from Pinkie Pie. Rarity had raved about this place at their last spa date, and Fluttershy had been politely curious, so it seemed a perfect time for a mare with an unexpected windfall to visit. What she wasn’t expecting was the V.I.P. service, and being escorted to a private room. Expecting to see Rarity awaiting her in the booth, she was confused to find it empty. The waiter left promptly without her even placing an order, and it was just her, and her purse alone again.

‘At least the seats are nice and soft. It’s almost as soft as a cloud bed. She said the service was fantastic here, but they just… left?’

The waiter quickly returned with a lovely dish of glazed carrots, lemongrass and stuffed tomatoes, with a lovely sparkling cider to wash it down. It was exactly the kind of meal she needed to relax and take a short nap. When she awoke, she found a little thank you card on the table, a pillow under her head, and the dishes cleared. Slowly reading the card aloud, the stress began to return.

“Your patronage is appreciated. We are glad to serve one of Ponyville’s most successful business mares? And your tab has been expensed to your company for you? What?”

The staff were so polite, and accommodating that she couldn’t get a word in until she found herself back on the cobbled road out front. Her eyebrows knit slightly and a frown pursed her lips.

‘Something strange is happening here. And I don’t like it. Sorry Angel, momma will be a little later tonight. Oh well, he’ll forgive me, I’ll just have to make his favourite for dinner.’

The sound of snorts and giggles from above caught her attention. Familiar snorts and giggles, which usually followed one of Rainbow’s few but surprisingly successful plans. The frown deepened, and her eyes narrowed dangerously close to Pre-Stare territory. A multihued tail dangled from the side of a particularly puffy cloud. A cloud Fluttershy recognized from earlier that day.

‘Did she...? Ooooh, she knows I don’t like being pranked, this isn’t funny!’

“Oh this is rich. ‘The sun rises in Equestria because she’s ready to get out of bed. Luna and Discord reformed because they were making her mad. She doesn’t have tail extensions, she simply stared at her flank until it got scared and started sweating hair.’ Hah! Good one!”

‘Rainbow Dash!’

Timidity forgotten, the yellow, winged thunderhead rose slowly into the air. She stopped with forearms folded, glaring at her oldest friend. Rainbow was still caught in the throes of laughter, and apparently immune to all scorn. A minute passed. The laughter finally abated to chuckles, and finally a single hoof swiped across her eyes, as Rainbow stood up and stretched, still smiling. Her smile fell slowly as she met her friends’ eyes, and puzzlement crossed her face.

“Hey Flutters. Did I uh, forget your birthday again? It's next week isn’t it?”

Scratching behind her head, the two remained locked in a staring contest, until Fluttershy finally let out a disappointed sigh. Rainbow grit her teeth with a wince. The sigh was almost worse than getting a Stare.

The silent treatment went on for another minute. Ever the expert in the social arena, Rainbow made her move. “So, can I help you with something? This cloud’s in perfect napping position, and I’d like to get on that soon.” A hopeful grin bloomed on her face, but it slowly withered and died under the disapproval of her oldest friend’s gaze.

“Never-mind.”

Another moment passed, and Fluttershy slowly descended again, before trudging towards the bank to deposit her now-spare coin. Rainbow simply shrugged, staring after Fluttershy’s departing tail, and drooping wings. “Hey, Flutters, wait!”

“Okay seriously, silent treatment, creeping me out.” Rainbow chattered on, casting her shadow below on her trotting friend. Once or twice she’d already had to nudge Fluttershy from bumping into a wall, as she’d dropped her ears as close to her skull as she could and closed her eyes to boot. It’s almost like Fluttershy was ignoring her or something.

“I’ve got this super weird feeling that you’re mad at me.”

Rainbow continued to hover over her as they entered the bank. Her pride armored her from the stares, scorn and ‘no flying indoors’ signs of Banking and Shingles.*

“You know, I’ve never got why there’s, one teller just sitting there, doing nothing and the other two are actually helping ponies.”

Continuing to tune out her loudmouthed friend, Fluttershy took her place in queue.

“Miss Fluttershy, I can help you up here.”

The ‘just sitting there’ teller waved Fluttershy over. The two pegasi headed over to the side of the bank, where a big sign saying ‘Business’ hung over the counter. A mare with a name tag showing ‘Balanced Ledger’

“Glad to be of service to one of our VIP customers, how can I help you?”

‘That’s the second time I’ve been called a VIP today.’

Looking up, she opened her mouth to scold Rainbow about her prank going too far, when she saw the gears turning behind Dash’s eyes, and her matching puzzled look. Dash made the mistake of opening her mouth.

“VIP? At the bank? Aren’t you like… super broke Flutters?”

Ledger’s decorum was finely polished, clearly she had dealt with the Dash before.

“Miss Fluttershy here is one of our business owners. She gets the VIP service, as her company has some rather large holdings with us, miss Dash.”

“But-but I don’t own a company?” She didn’t mean it to come out as a question, but after her day, she wasn’t denying that it was possible… somehow. It was Ponyville after all.

“I just wanted to deposit some money.”

“Of course, miss Fluttershy. Into your personal account, or your business one?”

“Um, personal. I hope it’s not too much. 600 bits, I’ll hold onto these six for groceries. If you don’t mind.”

Ledger‘s mask of professionalism barely showed any surprise as filed paperwork. “Six bits for groceries? A mare as wealthy as you certainly is keeping her costs down. Here is your balance sheet, have a great day.” Ledger handed her the slip with a more genuine smile than earlier.

Rainbow snuck a glance at the page and was so floored by the number of zeroes that she landed. Fluttershy looked at the paper and simply fainted.