Pinkie's Proctological Party Cannon
Pinkie's parties were always a stand out. Everytime she threw one it was the only thing on anypony's lips for weeks.
One article of every party which was particularly memorable was Pinkie's Party Cannon; the term had become infamous.
As opposed to using a normal party cannon launch her convivial confetti and streamers, she used a far more natural method.
"Okay! Third attempt, gummy!"
A single dim light swung leisurely from the ceiling of the back room of Sugarcube corner as Pinkie Pie poured the small packet labelled 'party mix' into the pink, plastic party cannon.
It was late evening, and as the sun set in the sky outside Pinkie's plans for her next party continued.
The mix consisted of glitter and confetti, candy corn, and streamers.
This was the third party cannon she'd tried today; her friend Rainbow Dash's birthday was tomorrow and her friends had all agreed to hold a surprise party for her.
Of course, it was Pinkie's responsibility to organise the event and make it as fun and memorable as possible - two things Pinkie's parties always were.
The ecstatic pink pony covered her ears, and with an excited force bashed the button on the back of the cannon; it shook and released a thunderous crack as the debris scattered out and danced around in the light, but it was still lacking a certain something.
Pinkie Pie sighed jadedly and slunked to the ground.
"It's just no use, gummy, no use at all! All of these cannons are just so... Boring!"
Her pet alligator blinked indifferently.
"Exactly! They lack pizazz! What am I doing wrong? Is it the party mix? More confetti? Less confetti? More streamers?!"
With frustration the pony fell onto her back and moaned.
"I guess I'm just going to have to let everypony down; no one will want a party from Pinkie Pie after this failure."
As she wallowed around in self pity, something sprung free from the recesses of her mind; an idea she'd had a long time ago: one she'd never truly tried.
"W-wait... Hold on! Yes, of course! You're a genius Pinkie Pie!"
She shot up and dashed to a large cabinet in the far side of the room, opening it to reveal a myriad of the little bags of 'party mix' she had made.
"If this is going to work well, gummy, it needs preparation."
It was certainly a far fetched idea, but Pinkie knew that if she were able to pull it off it would make her parties something nopony would forget.
"I'm gonna need two packets if this is gonna work right... But how do I get them in....?"
She pondered, before turning to her pet alligator and acting as if he had given her a response.
"But of course! A funnel! All I'll need then is the gunpowder itself -- I think some baked beans and sprouts will do the trick!"
The plan was starting to formulate slowly; she only had one shot at the apex of the party so she had to make sure it was truly infallible.
The next day, she began putting it into action.
Pinkie laid up against the wall, leaning on her shoulders with her rear up above her.
She took the funnel and poked it around awkwardly until it met her wrinkled pucker.
She stuck her tongue out and focused as she felt the short end of the funnel slide slowly into her anus. The foreign object being stuffed inside her felt strange, but slowly as her pink sphincter enveloped it she began to feel at ease.
The two bags of her very own party mix were laid by her head.
Reaching up to them, her stomach shifted bunglingly and knocked loose a small amount of gas, sending it shooting out through the funnel with a brash, trumpet-like *frrrp*
Pinkie started giggling and snorting loudly.
"Oh wow, 'scuse me gummy, that one kinda slipped out!"
Quite enjoying the brassy sound, Pinkie purposefully let another fart reverberate through the funnel in a harsh *fraap*
Pinkie giggled uncontrollably again before leashing herself and getting back to the task at hand.
She held the first bag up to the funnel, pouring It in and grimacing as she felt the small pieces of party mix deposit quite deeply into her rectum. She wiggled her rump to shuffle the pieces around inside her, moaning softly at the tender sensations against the sensitive and fleshy walls of her bowels.
"Mm, that tickles~!"
Suddenly the sour odour of her stinky gas fell on her, and Pinkie coughed in surprise.
"Holy Celestia! Gummy, crack open a window, would you?"
After pouring in the second bag her rectum felt quite full. Every time Pinkie took a step she could feel the candy corn pieces jab slightly into the sides of her butt, making her flinch.
After a trip to the store filled with suspecting looks, Pinkie was nice and stocked up on beans and sprouts. In about two hours her belly would accumulate enough firepower to launch a missile.
"Pinkie? Is everything set?"
Twilight and Applejack walked into Sugarcube corner, the food for the party brought with them.
The two ponies stopped in their tracks as they immediately saw the setup.
In the centre of the room was a large punch bowl, supporting a giant ice sculpture of Rainbow Dash's own cutie mark.
The walls were lined with colourful banners and bunting, webbed across the ceiling next to the array of bright lights. Tables were scattered around the room, all leading to the large buffet table of as many cakes and treats as a single pony could dream for.
"This looks amazing, Pinkie! You've really outdone yourself!"
"It looks beautiful in here!" AJ added.
"Aww, thanks a lot, girls! It took all day to set u-u-u--"
The gas had start to kick in.
Applejack and Twilight looked at Pinkie in confusion.
"You, uh, okay, Pinkie?" Applejack inquired with a light giggle.
"I'm f-fine! I was just saying it spent all day to set u-*uuuuurp*"
Her two friends weren't quite sure how to react to the loud belch Pinkie had just eructed into their faces.
"That's gross, Pinkie." Twilight commented blankly, trotting away.
"Better out than in I guess!" Applejack giggled, following twilight to the buffet table.
"Sorr--*muuuarp!!*"
The embarrassed Pinkie Pie quickly silenced her belch with a hoof.
"Maybe it's best you.. Don't talk, Pinkie." Twilight grinned.
Eventually the guests began to arrive one by one, and as the room filled with warm chatter in the air, Pinkie could feel the cannon get closer to its release.
She had to time it perfectly, firing off her cannon the moment Rainbow Dash walked into the centre of the room: her friend's grand entrance.
Pinkie was desperately hopping from hoof to hoof when Rainbow Dash entered, everypony jumping out to shout "Surprise!!" Simultaneously.
She laughed. "Of course I knew this was happening, guys." She lied.
It was go time.
Feeling a hot burp slither through her lips, Pinkie waddled over to her friend, watching her face light up.
Whatever Rainbow Dash had planned to say was completely interrupted as Pinkie rotated swiftly, kicking up and tucking her hind legs in to let her buttocks bulge over the top.
With one loud, strong grunt, something shifted inside of her belly and a huge torrent of gas shot out of her, rippling her buttocks like undulating horse lips.
BRAAAAPT
A drove of shimmering party debris burst from the pony's rump in a warm stream, shooting up into the air and raining down on Rainbow Dash, who couldn't help but burst out laughing.
"Th-there's more stock in the party cannon, Dashie! Sniff this one!"
FRRRUP
Lifting up one leg to increase ease of exit, Pinkie blasted out another deep and bubbly explosion of her now slightly dirtied party mix.
"This is so gross, Pinkie!" Dash chuckled. Somewhere on the sidelines Twilight sighed and facehoofed.
Shards of candy corn rained down with the shining, snaking streamers. It was just as majestic and wholly glorious as Pinkie envisioned.
"This stinks, Pinkie! Did you eat a dead skunk or something!?" Rainbow Dash was still finding Pinkie's makeshift cannon absolutely hilarious, despite the nauseating stench that came with it.
"Oh, you've seen nothing yet, Dashie! There's a big blast coming!"
"Oh yeah?" Rainbow Dash giggled, smirking as she held her face close to Pinkie's butt, grabbing either side.
Something certainly felt heavy in Pinkie's gut, but it wasn't as airy as she thought.
With a hearty, heaving push a wet fart sputtered out; an encore for a thick, long log of feces, shooting out of Pinkie's asshole with tremendous force and splatting onto the cyan pegasus' face, draped crudely over her mouth like a moustache.
It had caught the pieces of party mix in her rectum, making the poop shimmer.
Rainbow Dash froze, Pinkie began to blush deep crimson.
"Whoopsie! I guess that, uh, was a bit bigger than I thought, Huh?"
Rainbow Dash would have replied and voiced her disgust, but the abhorrently foul stench of her friend's ordure stained her nose; she wiped the slightly sticky loaf from her face and started gagging violently, trying to shout various curse words at Pinkie inbetween retches.
"I'm sorry, Dashie, that one smells really bad." Pinkie smiled and covered her nose, awkwardly shuffling away from her friend.
The life of the party had just flatlined; she had to resuscitate it.
"I-It's okay, everypony! Who wants some candy corn!?"
Pinkie's butt let out a short fart of embarrassment.
Frrpt~~
