It was a hellish day in Ponyville. Fires were raging, buildings were collapsing, and no stallion was happy. Caramel ran, ran as fast as he could. But he tripped, and was tied up by lasso. The mare with apples on her ass strutted up to him, proud of her capture. "Ah have the feeling it's time for this Apple to be seeded" whispered Applejack into the ear of the stunned stallion as she spread his legs apart. 10 minutes later, she was done. Caramel could only silently cry as a small wisp of blonde appeared on his brown mane, signalling he was now the eternal mate of Applejack. His home would be seized, his possessions taken to Sweet Apple Acres, and his job would be given to another stallion. His new job was to be a foal provider for Applejack, and farmhand. Over time, his personality would decompose and he would fall in love. Then he would die, pathetic, and buried next to a mare who brainwashed him into mindless love. As Applejack droned on about what she wanted, Caramel started to scream with the horrifying implications hitting him. His thoughts of his family and one true love faded, and were replaced with love for his new family. His real family.
Button Mash ran into the local GameStop, and looked around for the newest copy of
Legends of Knoxar. All of a sudden, a pair of hooves grabbed him. He turned around to see the owner of the store, holding a shotgun in his mouth, and then threw it on the floor. The gun was of a, excuse my French, rather shite quality, and it went off, entering the bowels of the mare pulling Buttons shorts down. She staggered backwards in pain, and fell through a window. "Why did you shoot her Mr Score!? Why?!" Button screamed. Top Score looked shocked. "I thought that it was obvious she was trying to bloody rape you. You need too keep your head down. Sweetie Belle is looking for you, right?" Button was amazed! "Yeah, she said something about mating or something like that. Said she was gonna meet me here!" After those words exited Buttons mouth, Top Score went white. He handed a pistol to Button. "If she comes anywhere near you, shoot her. Like in Grand Theft Pony. She's trying to marry you. Hide." Button watched as he shoved Bon Bon into the basement. He thought he should mention the razor trap outside, but he thought that Score had laid it. He then saw Score get his legs trapped and black out. Oh well, he had been told to hide, and thus, not to go outside. He lay down in the warm bed that was here for some reason. He then realised he was next to Sweetie, and I'm not gonna describe what happens next to preserve any goddamn innocence my readers have left.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the fourth wall, Pinkie Pie and Aloe and Lotus were mating with the three former presenters of Top Gear. Try and get that out of your head. And back at Sweet Apple Acres, Caramels last personality island was collapsing into the Memory Dump, and his emotions were wishing they had stayed with the helicopter pilot as the gum commercial plays over. And Over. AND OVER.
Top Score woke up groggily, feeling pain in his legs from where a well placed wire trap had been placed. He didn't put it there, but at least the hooded pony who came up to him took him back to their house. He tried to climb out of his bed, but a hoof stopped him. "Look at your tail" said the voice. When he looked, he saw a rainbow patch. Then insemination of the rainbow horse occurred.
In time the stallions became putty in the hands of the mares. But still their emotions plotted, planing to turn everyone into slaves. After all, if everyone is unhappy, no one is
Meanwhile, Caramels Train Of Thought crashed. There were no survivors. Back in Headquarters, Sadness was reading from Revelation, and the rest were cowering. Then, poomf, Caramel destroyed, Caramel Apple made. And I will leave you the mental image of a cabbage and a piece of broccoli in a Maochist relationship. Mm, steamed vegetables.
In time the stallions became putty in the hands of the mares. But still their emotions plotted, planing to turn everyone into slaves. After all, if everyone is unhappy, no one is