I want to rewrite this story, but before I do that I want your opinion first
Author's Note
I've been planning to rewrite this ever since the Friendship Games came out, but only now I remembered to do it. Before I delete the other chapters, however, I want YOU guys to tell me if rewriting is worth it or if you want to see where the original story is going.
I want to rewrite this story, but before I do that I want your opinion first
If Sunset was good at something, it was the subject of magic. Scratch that, she could openly admit, she was a genius when it came to the subject of magic. However, even a genius as her was at a loss at the readings, which she recorded a couple of weeks ago from her friends. Despite not understanding a thing about the magic in the human world or rather BECAUSE she couldn't understand it, Sunset had been spending many evenings trying to find something that might give her a hint as to how magic worked in this world. She checked up old legends, people claiming to have real magic and even some physics book. The laws of physics so far matched up, but there still was this sneaking suspicion that it had to do something with that. Or maybe humans just understood the laws of physics differently than ponies, since ponies had long since made a connection between physics and the general laws of magic.
"Urgh, this is so frustrating!" Sunset shouted, slamming the book shut. It was about some old stories in European mythology, which even include unicorns! However, they were controversial at best or straight up made up by some guy who wanted to write a good children's book. Sometimes it hurt to read these things.
Sighing in annoyance, Sunset decided it was time for some comfort food, simply meaning she snatched her cell phone and ordered pizza, vegetarian of course. She knew humans generally lived a healthier life if they at least eat a little bit of meat, but she just stuck with some dietary supplements. Pretty much not the smartest thing to do, but the easiest and quite frankly cheapest solution. Heck, the only reason she lived in her own apartment was because she got financial help from the local government. It certainly beat the old factory, which she lived in the first couple of months.
Slumping down on her poor excuse of a couch, Sunset turned on the equally poor excuse of a television, waiting for her pizza to arrive. About thirty minutes later, her doorbell rang, announcing the arrival of someone. Hopefully, that someone was the pizza delivery guy. Opening her door, the former unicorn found...
"Flash Sentry?!" She exclaimed surprised.
"Whoa!" Flash jumped, equally shocked upon getting screamed at out of nowhere. "Oh, hey Sunset. Soooo, one Pizza Hawai, no meat?"
"Yes?" Sunset spoke slowly, accepting the small box. "I didn't know you're working as a delivery boy." she pointed out, now smiling a little.
"Oh, I've only been doing this for a week. Lightning caused a blackout in our house last week and sadly, my guitar happened to be plucked in at the time. We're lucky the house didn't burn down, but my guitar? Melted." He said with a grin.
Sunset in return blinked surprised. "Wow, that's gotta suck. You know, me and the girls don't have another gig going on for some time, so if you want you can have mine." the girl offered, but Flash waved.
"No, it's alright. I actually already got one, I just have to pay a share of it every month. My dad even got a special multi-outlet, which apparently is supposed to endure a lightning strike."
"Really?" the girl asked. "Well good for you. Here." she produced a twenty-dollar bill out of her pocket. "Keep the change."
"Hey, I can't accept that, Sunset. I mean, we're friends." Flash pushed her arm gently away.
"Yes, we're friends." Sunset smiled mischievously. "And that's why" she got uncomfortably close to Flash, careful not to drop the pizza. The boy in return blushed, as Sunset put the bill into the pocket of his jacket. "You're gonna accept my generosity." She gently hit the pocket two times. "After all, friends help each other, right?" Not waiting for an answer, she pushed the boy away and slammed the door shut with her foot.
"Oh man." Flash groaned, getting back on his feet. "Does she always need to be so forceful?" he asked himself, going towards the staircase. "Well, at least she isn't firing rainbow lasers at me. That'll be the day when that happens."
Inside the apartment, the Equestrian happily chewed on a slice of pizza. On the TV there was a show for kids going on, seemingly trying to teach kids about friendship, which it did a poor job at. Obviously, the show just existed in order to sell toys and other merchandise. The girl switched through the channels for some time. Upon not finding anything interesting, she turned off the TV and instead put a book in her lap and started reading. However, she couldn't really focus on the story, as the unsolved mystery of human magic wouldn't leave her head. Eventually, she had eaten the entire pizza and not read a single page in her book. Sighing again, she put the book to the side and started walking up and down in the small amount of space her apartment allowed her to use.
"Let's see," she spoke out loud "no theory I have come up so far holds water. Magic always happens, when we play our instruments, but during the fall formal the girls weren't even singing a heart song. They only needed Twilight at that time. Hmm...no, wait. The Element of Magic was on this side of the portal as well, so might have acted as a sort of battery. Hmm, there's something I'm missing."
She walked over to her desk, looking at the readings the computers at Canterlot High spit out. "I have taken readings from all of the girls. How did the monitor show a butterfly anyway? These things aren't designed to do that. And then there are the apples! Real, legit apples! You can't just make them appear out of nowhere, that's not possible! Unless Applejack somehow teleported them from her own orchard to the school. Not to mention, Rainbow with her-
Wait a second, wait a second." Sunset went over her notes once again and found something she actually forgot to do.
"I am so dumb!" she slapped her forehead really hard. "I never took any readings about ME! Great job, Sunset Shimmer, great job. Once the student of Princess Celestia and overlooking something so elementary! Tch, I don't have the equipment here to get proper data." The fiery haired girl looked over to her guitar, which was positioned in a corner and then over to her computer.
I do have my own program installed there, the same I used at Canterlot High. Oh yeah, note to self: delete it, before any of the principals find out about it. So, all I would need is to install a music recording program, which I can easily find on the internet, and then I could get a least some sort of data for comparison. Maybe I can get something I ACTUALLY understand. she thought to herself.
Having made her mind up, Sunset started preparing the recording. Finding an actual decent program for her PC turned out to be easier said than done, as most of the freeware had some sort of virus on it. After a bit of searching, she actually found something and surprisingly it came from Vinyl's My Stable page. Yup, Sunset Shimmer wasn't the only one around with a self-made computer program. Seeing the Hobby-DJ sharing her program, Sunset decided to do the same, saying it was a self-made program for high school experiments. Most people would probably use it for their physic classes.
Preparations complete, the girl turned down the volume in order to not stress the neighbors and started playing her part of "Shine like Rainbows". As expected the transformation happened in a matter of seconds and by the time she was done, Sunset had collected a decent amount of data. Except she didn't.
"What the heck?"
Setting her guitar aside, Sunset furiously began typing on her keyboard. As it turned out there was a little thing in the setting of Vinyl's program, which prevented Sunset's program somehow from collecting data. How that was possible was anyone's guess. Fixing that took some time and when she was done, Sunset Shimmer needed some stress relief. Instead of playing a real song, this time, Sunset played a series of aggressive notes, somehow still triggering the transformation. Sunset ended her little music rant with one strong shred, accidentally hitting her hand against the speaker on the ground.
"Ow! Man, I hate it when that happens!" Sunset shouted. Shaking her hand, she turned her gaze towards the screen and was satisfied to see that this time, everything worked out perfectly.
"All right, finally!" she shouted, her eyes darting over everything that her computer managed to catch. "Let's see, let's see, let's see...hmm. Interesting," she whispered, scrolling down the page. "Me having a stronger output than the others is not really a surprise. Could be because I just let it all out. I probably should take some more readings for comparison."
And that she did. Sunset played two actual songs and one other time she just played some random notes and checked the readings once again.
I should have been able to guess this one, but it seems that the magic is even stronger, when I play something in "harmony" so to speak. The random notes only have minimal readings, if any, but even my little shred session had more of an impact than the other stuff. No real difference between "Shine like Rainbows" and "Awesome as I want to be". But still, these waves are completely different from pony AND human magic! A mixture of the both? A fluke in the program? Or just pure coincidence? I'm not getting anywhere!
Guess, I have no choice. I better consult Twilight about this. Maybe a fresh set of eyes will give me some enlightenment.
After looking over the readings one last time, Sunset turned off her PC and headed towards her bedroom, where her book was resting on the nightstand. Picking it up, she produced a pen and started writing.
"Dear Twilight,
I noticed something I missed out last time I tested the others on magic. I didn't take any readings off myself. Granted here at home I cannot record everything necessary for a full conclusion, but I got a pretty good picture so far. I still have no idea what's going on! My initial recordings show a mixture of the magic I examined from the girls and my own pony magic! I'm a literal enigma in this already hard to solve puzzle! The girls say I should let it go and move on and I understand their sentiment, really. But it just won't leave me alone! Have you ever had stuck in your mind and couldn't stop thinking about it, until you dealt with it?! That's how I've been feeling for the past few days! I need a fresh set of eyes on this one. Do you have any idea what's going on? A possible theory from which I can work on? Anything would help.
Your friend,
Sunset Shimmer
P.S.: Pinkie has been bugging me about going to Equestria again. Better keep the portal closed for the next week or so.
Author's Note
I'm not happy with the start, but it won't get better. I always struggle with my first chapters. Also, someone got a dictionary, which show's AJ's accent?
Original Chapter 1
"You think we can really pull it off?" Sunset asked Rainbow Dash. "Nothing against dreams, but high school bands rarely become successful later on." Sunset pointed out, while adjusting a few strings on her guitar.
"Cheer up, Sun! It's clearly our destiny to become the most awesome band!" Rainbow Dash pumped her fist into the sky.
"Jus' 'cause we become part pony, while playing, doesn't mean we'll become a famous band after high school." Applejack stated. "Besides, who said everyone else wants ta become famous. Ain't exactly easy and mah family needs all the help they can get on the farm, ya know?"
"You know, once we're successful, you can just hire guys to work on your farm AJ."
"I too think you're jumping the gun here, Rainbow Dash." Rarity spoke up. "You're acting like we'll definitely be successful and you're acting like all of us already agreed to it." she shook her head. "Honestly, I want to become a fashion designer and I doubt poor Fluttershy over here can handle the stress."
"Actually um...I already said yes."
"WHAT?!" Four girls jumped up and looked at the girl amazed.
"Okay that's it. If Fluttershy is in, I'm definitely in!" Pinkie shouted hitting her drums a few times.
"I think we're rushing things a little here." Sunset spoke up again. "We're a pretty good band, but are we ready for the world? Heck, let's finish high school first and Dash, PLEASE you've been trying to convince us ever since the Battle of the Bands. Tell you what, we'll genuinely think about it and you stop pestering us, okay? Also, how the buck did you manage to convince Fluttershy of all people?"
"Hehe, that's my little secret." the girl smiled mischievously.
"Now that that's over, can we start playin' already? I wanna this to be perfect for mah family reunion." Applejack tapped on her bass.
"I thought your family was more into country?" Rainbow asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Yeah, ever since Vinyl uploaded that video, everyone's been pestering me about this. Though Granny was still against the idea, but she got outvoted."
"Nothing against traditions darling, but sometimes you just have to embrace the new style." Rarity got ready on her instrument.
"ONE! TWO! THREE!" Pinkie shouted and on her que everyone started playing.
As of lately the more the girls played, the sooner their transformation would start. So far Sunset had yet to tell anyone about her phoenix like transformation and she hadn't been able to do it again for some reason.
The all too familiar magic started flowing through their bodies, causing their transformations to happen. As always it was an exciting experience for everyone, only this time it felt even better, smoother some of them would say. Sunset kinda wished her horn would appear too, because she would always get this annoying feeling, as if something wanted to come out of her forehead. Luckily, the feeling was overshadowed by the pure joy she felt while playing with her friends. They even rented the show stage from the Battle of the Bands, since the music room wasn't always available. As for Sweet Apple Acres, Granny didn't like loud music, when she was around. No one else had something available for band practice.
A passing couple seated themselves on the ground in front of the stage and listened to them for until the Rainbooms were finished practicing. They applauded the girls for their skills and were on their merry way soon afterwards.
"We were pretty darn good today." Applejack proclaimed as the girls were quickly packing up their stuff.
"Yeah! We were pretty lucky they didn't find a replacement for Ms. Harshwhinny." Pinkie said while putting her drums into the trunk of the car of Rarity's father. "Could you imagine having four periods with her?!" Everyone shuddered at the thought.
"Uh girls? I dunno if you noticed, but..." Rainbow trailed off, looking on her back and flapping her wings a little. The others too looked at their extra body parts, touching them to confirm if they were still there.
"Oh my." whispered Fluttershy. "Shouldn't they be...gone by now?"
"They should." Sunset confirmed, inspecting her pony tail. "I've noticed this lately. Our transformations last longer and longer."
"Oh!" Pinkie Pie popped out from below. "Do you think we're going to turn completely into ponies one day?" she asked, excited at the prospect.
"I...highly doubt that." Sunset told her, to which Pinkie's let out a disappointed "Aw".
"But still, I better consult Twilight about that. Until she writes back, we should probably avoid playing and hope we get back to normal until we arrive at school."
Everyone entered the car, but there was one problem, namely the wings of Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. The problem was solved with them both leaning forward, in order to avoid crushing them. Certainly not a comfortable position, but it did the trick. The worst part however was, when they arrived at school, they still were part pony, mostly human.
"Maybe we should call sick for today." Rarity suggested. "I'm sure I can get us all home without being seen by anyone outside."
"Principal Celestia kinda saw me and Rainbow today already." Sunset pointed out. "But I'm sure if we explain the situation to her, she'll give us her okay to go. Besides, everyone else has already seen us like this."
"Yeah, can we go out already? I think those things are about to cramp up." Rainbow Dash groaned.
"Well, let's get going before the period is over." Applejack exited the car. The others followed her swiftly. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash both stretched a little when they came out. "Goodness. This is so strange." she rubbed one of her wings.
"Hey Shy, think we can fly with those a little?"
"Don't even think about it Dash or else ah'm gonna tie ya up like a cow in a rodeo." AJ threatened, taking a lasso out of her school bag.
"Relax, it was just a joke. Still would be awesome." Rainbow looked up into the sky, while Fluttershy trembled at the thought.
"I-I think I stay on the ground." she stuttered.
Sunset shook her head, but still smiled. "Whatever girls. It would be bad if you'd be in the air and all of the sudden the transformation stops. Let's get to Celestia's office already before any passenger wonders why we're wearing those strange costumes."
Agreeing on that note everyone walked in, with Pinkie Pie jumping up every now and then. Jumping up a little high, one had to say, compared to her usual little jumps. To get a picture, her feet easily reached the waists of the other girls, when she reached the highest point during her jump.
"Uh, Pinks, how yer doing this?" Applejack asked carefully. Pinkie Pie landed on the ground and walked with the others a little. "Dunno. It's just so easy. I feel like I have all this extra energy!"
"Now here's a scary thought..." Rainbow muttered.
"Extra energy?" Sunset stopped in her tracks, looking at Pinkie. "Could you explain it a little more?"
Pinkie shrugged. "It's like I said. I mean, every time we play I feel SO much more energetic. If we wouldn't play I would probably explode! Afterwards I would always be a little exhausted, but not today!" She made an extra huge jump, touching the ceiling with her hand. "Ta da!"
"Wow." Rainbow commented. She looked back at her wings and started flapping them. Soon she was a little airborne like after the first time she and the girls transformed, using the Elements of Harmony on Sunset Shimmer. Said girl frantically looked back and forth between both girls, getting a little nervous to say the least. "Anyone else feeling a little...off?" she asked.
Fluttershy just pointed at her wings. "It feels...strange. Having an extra set of limps I mean."
"To be completely honest, I thought nothin' of it, but now that Pinkie mentioned it...whoa!" Applejack walked away from the girls, wanting to have some space, when she jumped upwards, but then tripped over a book lying on the floor.
*CREAK*
Wanting to stop herself from hitting the ground, Applejack planned on supporting herself at a locked. Only the locker door gave in under her hand. Now there was a dent in form of AJ's hand on the door.
Everyone stared at her and the locker.
And her.
And the locker.
"Sun" AJ spoke to the former unicorn "you better know what's goin' on."
"I...have a theory." she spoke slowly. "Rarity, do you feel any different?"
"Hmm." the fashion designer put a hand under her chin. "I do feel a slight headache. Strange is it centers around the forehead for some reason, but it might be completely unrelated to anything."
"You too, huh?" Sunset rubbed her own forehead. "Okay, you guys go ahead to the principal's office. I get my book and meet you there and then explain the theory I have in mind."
Five minutes later Principal Celestia and Vice-Principal Luna found themselves confronted by six pony girls. Both looked at the girls equally shocked, especially when Sunset's book started glowing and vibrating like a cell phone. Sunset quickly opened the book and read what was written inside.
"Damn, Spike wrote Twilight isn't there at the moment and he doesn't know when she's back."
"AHEM." Everyone turned towards the women in the room. "Would you six mind explaining what you're doing here and why you look like you're left from carnival?" Celestia asked.
Five of the girls turned towards Sunset, figuring she would be the best one to explain the situation. "Well, you remember this here" she pointed towards her pony ears "appear, when we play with our instruments, right?"
"And disappear afterwards, if I remember correctly." Luna stated.
"Yeah, well normally they should. The thing is...not today and we don't know why or for how long this condition lasts. And aside from the obvious changes, there are some more subtle side effects I noticed on all of us."
"Side effects?" Celestia asked.
"Namely Applejack and Pinkie Pie are as strong as earth ponies from my home. Earth ponies look like normal ponies, but they're incredibly strong." Sunset added the explanation. "Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash more obviously have the wings and Rarity and myself are experiencing headaches on a certain part of our head, where the horn of a unicorn is supposed to be."
"Okay" Celestia took in a deep breath "let's assume I didn't understand any of this."
Sunset groaned, falling back into an empty chair.
"Miss Shimmer, perhaps it would be easier if you start from the beginning and explain slowly what exactly is going on." Luna suggested.
