Rumble was lounging on his cloud couch. He stared at a picture of a orange pegasus with a purple mane, struggling to remember her name.
"Sc-" Rumble thought harder. "Scoot! Ha!" Rumble danced a little. "Wait. That's part of her name."
"I'm hungry. What can I eat?" Rumble looked for food. He sighed. "Gr-"
"Hello? Anyone here?" A tiny voice squeaked. Rapid knocking followed. Rumble sighed.
"Coming!" He called. Rumble opened the door. A little pegasus filly was standing on his doorstep.
"Hello!" The filly chirped. Rumble heard a call of 'Just blow up his house!' somewhere in the distance but didn't pay any mind.
"What do you want?" Rumble asked. The filly made her most adorable face possible.
"My friends and I wanna set off illegal fireworks we got from Rainbow Dash. Your house is in the way. Either we blow up you house of don't set off fireworks."
"Who gave you illegal fireworks?"
"Rainbow Dash did."
"Was she telling you to blow up my house?"
"Yes." The filly studied Rumble. She smiled.
"What? What I do?" Rumble said.
"Mommy has a picture of you."
"What?"
"Sometimes she throws glass bottles at it."
"WHAT?"
"And she yells cuss words at it."
"WHAT?!"
"But sometimes she kisses it."
"Who exactly is your mother?" Rumble asked calmer than he felt. He was scared he was gonna be knifed at any moment.
"Mommy's name is Scootaloo." The filly repiled. Rumble looked her right in the eye.
"Take me to your house."
Scootaloo sat in her bedroom, silently staring at a picture.
"Fuck you!" Scootaloo screamed. "F-"
"Mommy! Someone wants to see you!" E said.
"Thanks E. Mommy needs to do something right now." Scootaloo looked at a different picture. This one had a picture of E. E was pretty much the only person who could keep her in check besides Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom. She took a deep breath and cantered out the room.
"E, where are you?" Scootaloo asked.
"I'm on the kitchen. I made our guest a sandwich."
"Okay, E. I'll be right there." Scootaloo quickened her pace.
"Mommy's here!" E said.
"Okay E. Who's here?" Scootaloo asked. E moved to reveal Rumble eating a sandwich.
"Hi Scootaloo!" Rumble said with fake happiness. Scootaloo stared at Rumble. Rumble continued eating his sandwich. Scootaloo slapped the sandwich out of Rumble's hooves.
"Hi Rumble." Scootaloo greeted bitterly. Rumble looked down at his sandwich.
"What did my sandwich do to you?" Rumble asked.
"Nothing. Stay here." Scootaloo said.
"Can I make another sandwich?" Rumble asked.
"Go ahead."
Scootaloo felt the wind whipping in her hair as she flew gracefully in the sky. She landed on a cloud.
"Hey Squirt!" Rainbow Dash yelled. Scootaloo looked around for her, finally finding Rainbow on a cloud above her. Scootaloo smiled.
"Dash, can you come over to my house? Bring your friends and Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle." Rainbow Dash was confused.
"Whatever you say, Squirt," Rainbow replied.
"Thanks Dash!" Scootaloo said.
A few minutes later, Scootaloo arrived at her house. A few seconds later, Dash arrived. Rumble was eating a sandwich.........
"Squirt, why'd yo-" Dash stopped talking once Scootaloo moved. Rumble was eating a sandwich.......
"Fi guyfs!" Rumble said. "Ho'wr you?" Sweetie Belle stared him down.
"You.........! You?! I hate you!" Sweetie Belle yelled.
"Fi Sweefie Bellf!" Rumble said. Sweetie Belle used her magic to crush Rumble's sandwich.
"This is the second time!" Rumble yelled. E wandered in with another sandwich.
"I knew this would happen again." E said, giving Rumble the sandwich.
"Thanks E!" Rumble said. E left. Apple Bloom galloped full speed at Rumble.
"HOW COULD YA?!" Apple Bloom yelled. She tackled Rumble.
"My sandwich!" Rumble cried. E wandered in again with more sandwiches. She blinked at the scene before her.
"Why is Aunty Apple Bloom on top of Rumble? Why does everyone look mad at him too?" E asked. Everypony shifted their attention to E.
"We ran out of bread too." E added, placing the platter of sandwiches down. "Continue," E said, catering out the room.
"Why us your kid like that, Scootaloo?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"Hell if I know," Scootaloo responed. Apple Bloom began yelling again.
"YA JUST DISSAPEARED! NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN! AH HATE YA!" Apple Bloom screamed. E cantered in with glasses of lemonade and a pitcher.
"I got lemonade for the sandwiches," E said. "I'm leaving now." E cantered out the door.
"What did I do wrong?" Rumble asked. He started wheezing. "Can't. Breathe." Apple Bloom got off of Rumble. Rainbow Dash spoke up.
"Let's show you what you did wrong!" Rainbow Dash yelled. Rumble was scared now. He reached out for a sandwich and bit it.
It tasted like love and affection.
The group migrated to Town Hall, Twilight dragging Rumble by the ear the whole way. When Twilight finally let go, Rumble fell on his face.
Because Sweetie Belle rammed his face into the ground.
And it hurt. Adventually, Sweetie Belle got tired of ramming Rumble's face and let his stay on the ground. Scootaloo then decided to grace Rumble with then thing that would ruin his life.
"Wha ish dat?" Rumble asked, not getting up from the ground.
"Read it and weep, Rumble," Scootaloo said, opening it, then stomping on some part of it. Rumble carefully read it....
And cried.
"My mom is gonna kill me!" Rumble wailed. "And my brother will too! And nopony will attend my funeral!"
"I didn't mean for you to actually weep Rumble." Scootaloo said. Pinkie Pie started bouncing.
"I can throw you a 'Found out I have a kid' party! It'll soooooooooooo much fun!" Pinkie pie exclaimed. Rumble cried louder.
"So," Rainbow Dash started, "what do we do with him?"
"Let's take him to his parents." Scootaloo suggested. They murmured in agreement.
"......and then we dragged him here!" Rainbow Dash said proudly. Rumble's parents nodded.
