Twilight Sparkle of Star Command

by Snake Staff

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Crossover, Dark, Human
Length: 2607

When the Evil Emperor Zurg invades Equestria, the ponies will need the help of Star Command.

As part of his latest scheme to conquer the universe, the Evil Emperor Zurg has invaded Equestria. With evil running rampant across the land, the ponies will need the help of the galaxy's greatest hero.

A Buzz Lightyear of Star Command crossover.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-05 03:12:24 UTC

The Adventure Begins

Calling Buzz Lightyear, the galaxy’s greatest hero!

Skilled, courageous, and ever vigilant!

Leaping into action, Buzz Lightyear hurdles to the rescue!

His ongoing mission: to protect the universe from the dark forces of evil!

These are the adventures of Buzz Lightyear of Star Command!

It was an ordinary Monday morning in Canterlot. The sun was shining, the bees were buzzing, the birds were chirping, and the many happy and (mostly) harmonious ponies of Equestria were going about their business under the cloudless blue sky. Throughout the slowly-rousing city, ponies were eating breakfast, taking walks, chatting amicably with their friends and neighbors, and breaking out into the odd spontaneous musical number. From her castle’s tower, Princess Celestia gazed down on all of it with a beneficent eye. She’d seen the sight a million times and more, but never grew tired of it. It was sights like that that made all the work she put into ruling truly worth it.

“Good morn- aaaahhh,” a voice intruded on her thoughts, only to be interrupted itself by a sudden outbreak of yawning.

“Good morning, Luna,” Celestia turned her head towards her sister, smiling. “How are you feeling?”

Luna yawned again, hoof over her mouth. “Could be better.”

“Busy night?”

“Busy weekend, more like,” Luna answered, magically pouring herself some coffee from the breakfast laid out for the two, then downing the whole cup in one swig.

Celestia nodded sympathetically as Luna went for some more. “Anything you want to share?”

“Well,” Luna shrugged, chugging a second cup of coffee without pause. “There was the whole Tantabus business on Friday, but you already know about that.”

“You really should have told me about it sooner, sister,” Celestia chided gently. “I would have been more than willing to help you out before the incident started. Or during it. You can always come to me if you feel like it would help.”

“Yes, well…” Luna stuffed a donut down her throat, followed by a third cup of coffee. “I was ashamed, alright. I thought you’d be angry with me. Next time I’ll remember what you said.”

“Let’s just hope that there isn’t a next time,” Celestia nibbled daintily on a piece of toast. “Anything else you’d care to talk about?”

“Well, Saturday I had something like twice the usual load of petitioners at court,” Luna downed a fourth cup of coffee. “Then on Sunday there was the wereweasel outbreak among the Lunar Guard, and I had to stalk the mother weasel through the snows of Canida with nothing but a sharpened hunk of bone…” she sighed. “Fun fact: mother wereweasels are both very temperamental and surprisingly reluctant to give up their internal organs. And their teeth? Very sharp.”

“Oh Luna,” Celestia put a hoof over her sister’s shoulder. “I had no idea. When did you get back?”

“About five minutes ago,” Luna let out a yawn and stretched. “Four of those consisted of washing all the wereweasel off.” The night princess drowned a second donut in yet another cup of coffee.

“I’m sorry to hear that. Would you like me to take over your duties today so that you can some rest?”

“No,” Luna answered. “No thank you, sister. I have got this.”

“Are you sure?” there was a trace of worry in Celestia’s voice. “If you’ve been working so hard over the past few days, then perhaps-”

“NO!” Luna slammed down yet another empty coffee mug hard enough to rattle the breakfast table. “I mean… no, Tia. It is, as the young ones say, all goodness.”

“All good,” she corrected.

“Whatever,” Luna waved a hoof dismissively.

“Ummm…” Celestia looked unsure.

“Please, Tia,” Luna somehow managed to fit even more coffee down her throat. “Do you think I wouldn’t take on a challenge I couldn’t handle? Besides, it will be good to show our subjects that I’m as lively as ever, no matter the hours.”

“Well…” Celestia sighed. “Alright. If you say so, Lulu, I trust you.”

“Thank you,” said Luna with a smile.

The two sisters embraced one another.

After several seconds of good, cuddly hugging, Celestia and Luna released each other, both smiling faintly.

“Besides,” Luna continued. “Today is just going to be a good day, I can feel it in my bones! To quote your dear former student: I know for absolute certain that everything is certainly fine!”

It was at that exact moment when the above Canterlot was blotted out by an enormous black shadow. Screaming soon began, followed shortly by explosions as thousands of foreign objects rained down on the city. Celestia and Luna watched from their tower, mouths agape like those of gasping fish.

Luna turned to her sister. “Not. A. Word.”

Celestia nodded.

Above Canterlot hovered a starship of truly titanic proportions.  A vast purple dreadnaught easily hundreds of meters in length, it featured a smooth hull running from its cone-shaped bow to the thrusters ejecting green flames from its rear. A command tower jutted prominently from the superstructure towards the stern, along with two pairs of sharp, silver-red wings. Emblazoned on that tower was a personal seal several stories in height: a deep red circle with a blazing yellow Z displayed prominently in the center.

From that ship, thousands of bright yellow objects were raining down onto the city. As they fell, it became rapidly apparent that these things weren’t projectiles, but machines. Bipedal, faceless, yellow-black machines that activated green rocket packs on their backs as they fell. Each of their four-fingered hands retracted to reveal tri-mounted laser cannons mounted on the end of each thick arm. Touching down by the hundreds and thousands and with six guns apiece, they quickly engaged every last Royal Guard position and still had plenty of troops left over to go on a rampage.

So, rampage they did. The yellow-black robots marched every which way through Canterlot, all guns blazing. Green lasers flew through the air like swarms of vicious insects, impacting at random and exploding everywhere. Homes, castles, stores, cafés, vending carts, and more fell victim to explosions or subsequent fires as the machines brought devastation to Canterlot not seen since the changeling invasion. Though the Royal Guard was fighting back far better than it had during the disastrous wedding, it was outnumbered many times over and could do little beyond occupying a portion of the machines. Ordinary ponies, noble and commoner alike, mostly ran around screaming like headless chickens. Which did not help.

Meanwhile, another shape launched from the ship. This one was a tall throne, supported by a large hovering disc underneath. Seated on the throne was a top-heavy being in a purple robe. Grey metal gauntlets with sharpened fingertips enclosed the being’s hands, with matching armor protecting its upper chest and shoulders. It head was identically purple, with a prominent yellow grate where its mouth should be, and deep red eyes. Two small horns crowned the top of its head, and a red-black cape flowed down its back. The cape was clasped in place by an identical seal to that on the ship.

“Ah,” said the Evil Emperor Zurg as he watched the scene below. “Mayhem, destruction, and screaming. Music to my ears,” he clasped his hands together. “Conquering new places is always such fun!”

Zurg threw back his head and laughed as he watched a pegasus in Royal Guard armor drive a spear straight through the chest of one of his robots, only to get blasted from the sky himself by three more. One gauntleted hand waved at the smoking pegasus in an almost cheerful manner.

“Such entertainment!” Zurg chuckled, taking his throne closer to the action. “I almost like it when they try to resist, it just makes the whole thing that much more amu- Hello? What’s this?”

Zurg steered his throne towards a particularly intense flashpoint of the battle, taking it much closer to the ground. Just inside the palace grounds, dozens of his robotic minions were fighting against a small group of gold-armored ponies, plus two larger versions. And losing.

The yellow-black machines were pumping out laser blasts as fast as they could, but these just pattered away like rain against a gold and a blue energy bubble. Meanwhile, the two Zurg recognized immediately for the royals seemed to be taking out a robot with every passing second. Whether smashing them to pieces with their hooves, blasting them with energy from their horns, splitting the ground open beneath them, or causing plants to rise up and crush the machines, it was clear that Zurg’s peons weren’t winning this fight any time soon. Zurg laughed anyway. He couldn’t help it – this whole thing was just too rich!

Below, the action continued for a little while longer. The relentless machines tried to overwhelm the ponies, and the princesses (with some assistance from their guards) continued to reduce them to piles of smoking scrap. The laser fire slackened and eventually died away as the closest robots were destroyed, leaving the courtyard a smoking trash heap, filled with winded victors and the wounded.

“How very amusing,” said Zurg, maneuvering his throne directly over the palace walls. “Futile, but amusing.”

The princesses turned around the face the sound. They took one look at Zurg, glanced at each other, and launched themselves into the air at him.

“Oh no,” Zurg put a hand over his forehead and mock-swooned. “The pretty pony princesses are coming to get me! Whatever shall I do? Oh wait, I know!” he pointed. “Hornets! Eviscerate!”

A dozen of the yellow-black robots swooped down to defend their evil emperor, firing their green lasers down at Celestia and Luna. The two spun with centuries of practiced ease, allowing the blasts to pass them by harmlessly. Again as one, they launched beams of blue and gold magic, which intertwined into one vast, spinning spear of lethal energy. It sliced through Zurg’s Hornets with ease, then reached the emperor’s position, whereupon it exploded with a tremendous flash, demolishing a small section of the palace wall in the process.

Celestia and Luna touched down on the ruined palace grounds, breathing a little heavily, with grim looks on their faces. The Royal Guard alternatively cheered, or else rushed to surround their princesses while an enormous pillar of black smoke ascended from where the diarchs’ magic had struck.

“Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!” gloating laughter rang out from the smoke as it slowly faded away. Zurg sat there atop his throne, surrounded by a shimmering bubble of energy and completely untouched.

“Cute,” he said. “Very cute. But you’ll have to do better than that, your royal highnesses. I did spring for a military-grade shield generator on this puppy!” he patted the side of his flying throne.

The princess’ horns immediately began to light up with more magic.

“Ah ah,” Zurg chided. “Let’s not be so hasty!”

He snapped his fingers, and the palace wall exploded.

Celestia and Luna immediately conjured shields over themselves and their guards as chunks of debris head-sized and even larger rained down on them. Zurg sat comfortably in his chairs, hands clasped and expression sinister, allowing his throne to do all the work of protecting him. When the chunks of walls ceased falling a second or so later, a figure stepped out of the massive cloud of smoke and dust. It was another Hornet, with a smaller being clutched in one arm across its chest.

It was a shaking colt, not more than five or six years of age. With three gun barrels leveled at his head.

More Hornets rapidly materialized through the cloud. Each one carried in its arm a single pony of Equestria, chosen at random. Young and old, stallion and mare, noble and commoner, it made no difference. Each one was gripped in a powerful mechanical arm and held tight against a robot’s chest, with the Hornets’ other arms sprouting their three guns and pressed into the sides of their skulls. Some whimpered, some wept, some screamed to be saved, and some managed to retain some stoicism. But all were alike in their predicament. There were dozens of them.

No, the princesses realized with widening eyes as the smoke cleared away. There were hundreds of Hornets lined up outside the ruined palace wall, and each held a hostage in its cold metal grip. While the princesses and Royal Guard had been distracted by a part of the robot army, Zurg’s true plan had been put into action by the other part. Now the royals and guards alike froze, unwilling to do anything that might risk the unthinkable.

“Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!” Zurg laughed, arms high in the air. “Allow me to introduce myself,” he said, rising to his feet. “I am the Evil Emperor Zurg! And…” he paused, visibly savoring the moment. “Your new master! Ha ha ha ha ha!”

“You will not prevail here,” Celestia declared with obvious conviction.

“Blah blah evil will never win blah blah,” Zurg waved a dismissive hand. “You goodie goodies are all the same, no matter what planet you’re on! Ugh!”

The emperor maneuvered his throne to the ground, engines whining slightly as they died off. Zurg stepped off of it and onto the palace grounds not far from where the princesses stood. Still, neither dared make a move with so many hostages hanging in the balance. The first Hornet, still bearing the softly-crying colt, marched forward at Zurg’s gesture.

“Now then,” said Zurg, running a hand through the colt’s mane. “If you don’t want your dear friends to… lose their heads,” his voice deepened, and his red eyes began to glow. “Then I suggest you bow yours!”

Celestia and Luna looked at one another, their eyes saying what words did not. One hostage, they could have rescued with their magic before there was serious risk. A few more than that were slightly more risky, but not impossible. A dozen or more was pushing it. Hundreds? No chance. Not ever their combined magic could hope to lock so many Hornets in place before they could fire.

That left only one option.

Slowly, almost painfully, despite the protests and sobs and cries of denial from their subjects, the alicorn diarchs of Equestria sunk to their knees. Celestia and Luna bowed their heads low before Zurg, who chuckled darkly in amusement. All around them ponies called on the princesses to get up, to fight back, to ignore the many hostages and attack Zurg regardless of their lives. But the reality was that neither princess had it in them. Neither one could bring herself to sentence hundreds of helpless civilians – some of them mere foals – to death simply for a chance to kill Zurg. So they abased themselves before the evil emperor, Equestria’s newest conqueror.

“Your crowns,” he said, making a gesture. Both were magically tossed at his feet, where picked them both up in a single hand. “These will look great on my wall!”

A small, blue, insectile creature in a red and purple jumpsuit scurried through the crowd. It climbed up the Hornet at Zurg’s side. The emperor leaned in to listen, and the grub whispered something into his ear. He chuckled.

“Excellent,” Zurg’s grate somehow grinned. “Excellent. Heh heh heh heh heh. Ooooh, I’m so evil, I just gave myself chills! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Even my goosebumps have goosebumps have goosebumps! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I’m a bad boy! AHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!”