Absolutions

by The Philosopher King

Rating: teen
Tags: Diamond Tiara, Crossover, Alternate Universe, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Comedy, Other
Length: 1168

"Boy, the World's one River. And I'm it's King." A certain demon of the river helps out a Pony soon to be known for his wealth. Gore Tag is possible, to be determined in the future. League of Legends crossover.

Tahm Kench was the River King. And part of that job was helping those in need, generally by giving a sinner an absolution. But he didn't help them out unless they let him in to their finest feasts after their success, and that very rarely happened. In order to do so, he found a poor sap. Name said it all. Filthy Rich. A young gambler who had too many binds. So Kench saved him, and years later that past deal would catch up to the poor gambler after he made his money and had his time.

Filthy Rich, prepare to have your pockets emptied. And Diamond Tiara, you shall be humbled.

"So cry if you want boy, 'cause you had a chance to walk away. Instead, you're the fool - the fool who let me in."

Possible gore tag to be determined in the future. Alternate Universe where Tahm Kench lives in Equestria. Crossover with League of Legends. Will involve redemption and reformation. On indefinite hiatus until main project is done.

Published 2015-08-05 20:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-05 20:20:01 UTC

Prologue: The Gambler's Deal

It was an ordinary day in the river of the Everfree, roughly twenty years before the resurrection of Nightmare Moon. There were only two creatures who called the river home, and they were excellent friends. Steven Magnet was a river serpent who lived in the lower portion of the river, closer to the town. His ‘friend’ lived in the upper portion of the river, and was by far scarier to the residents of Ponyville. Most, however, never heard of him. He only went into town disguised, never showed his face to anyone, and only spoke to those in need, giving donations of large sums of bits to the poor and needy. Gamblers, he always gave a special deal, but none ever found this out, except for the gambler and his family. Mostly because of how this alway ended, with a fast end and no-one finding out what happened to the family. This beast was Tahm Kench, the self-proclaimed River King. He was an amphibious, catfish-like river demon. Because of his good soul, he was declared an anonymous citizen of Ponyville, only found out by the poor citizens wanting the good samaritan recognized. Few were the number of creatures he couldn’t repel. But he always hated the gamblers. And he always set up a rigged deal, just for them.

On this day, Steven and Tahm met in the middle of the river, beneath the surface to discuss matters.

“Tahm, you really need to go meet the locals personally. Look how I’m treated, it’s a wonderful life knowing those ponies.” said Steve.

“Look my aquatic serpentine friend,” said the monstrous siren in a southern accent. “I am afraid they might react differently to me, plus I’m afraid they would figure out my deals against the gamblers. If they did, they’d send me off to that Tartarus place they talk about, or worse. Perhaps I’d be killed.”

“Whoa, hold on, they are entirely against executions.” replied the river serpent. “They wouldn’t let a fly die by anything other than natural causes. I don’t know about Tartarus, but unless you explicitly say something, they might take you in with open arms, like with me.”

“I might do that in the future, but I’ll wait a good twenty five years or so before I do so. I want to make sure any possible traces of my last deal with a gambler have been washed out by the river.” promises the King. “I think I’m gonna go down to Canterlot for a bit. Perhaps fill my mason jar with something good.” He always carried a glass mason jar in his coat pocket, mostly because it prevent drink from being spoiled by the river with its lid.

“Alright, I’ll see you in a bit, ta-ta.” said the serpent. And off Tahm went, straight down the river to the city.

In Canterlot, a pony was running toward a forest near the river. This pony was soon to be called Filthy Rich, and he had lost all his money in a terrible bet.

“C’mon, I gotta run faster…” he says to himself.

“Get back here, you scoundrel!” along with similar cries of outrage can be heard from other gamblers, dealers, and owners. Now, he not only owed bits and gems, but blood as well. And he didn’t quite have the blood or cash to spare, and as a result, he became desperate and forlorn. He was going to run off, perhaps even go to a whole new country. All he cared for were cards and roulette, so long as he had cash to spend. He considered killing himself for a minute, but then he heard a song. A deep, low song sung from a pony’s gut.

“Hmmmhmmhmm….Chance your luck again…” he hears.

“Wha- who’s there?” asks the young gambler.

“You’re not in the position to ask that question, are you boy? This is my home.” The gambler looks toward the river, and sees a creature with the largest mouth he ever saw.

“Pardon my song,” the monstrous siren says. “The tune’s purpose was your attention. I saw you had problems, and I can offer absolutions.”

“I don’t care that you’re a monster, can you carry me from my debts and dues?” asks the gambling pony.

The siren chuckles, and replies: “Boy, the world’s one river, and I’m its king. There ain’t no place I been, and ain’t no place I can’t go again.”

“That’s excellent, but I don’t have money to pay you…”

“The price is an ever small thing. See, I got hungers that ain’t easily fed.” The King’s stomach growled loudly. “However, those finest tables, they never have a spot for me. So I need ponies, such as yourself, to let me in.”

“Well…” Filthy Rich thinks for a minute. Take the bargain of the demon, or be murdered in the Everfree.

The King starts to go back into the river, but is interrupted.

“Wait! If you’re offering a ticket, that’s a deal I’m willing to take.”

The Siren’s jaw unhinges, and without another word, he snaps the poor youth up and flees. He takes him upstream, and puts on his black cloak. He walks into the town of Ponyville, and drops him off at the nearest palace of fortune. He deposits some old bits in the youth’s pockets, and swims down the river back to Canterlot to talk to the authorities.

“‘Scuse me.” said the Siren to the fools demanding money.

“Hey, have you seen a brown earth pony around here? He owes us a boatload of bits…”

“Here, I’ll pay off his dues.” The Siren reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a large sack of bits. “Will this be enough?”

“Of course sir, pays for all the pain he caused us. Where’d he go now?”

“He’s ran off to a far away place. You won’t see him for a long time. Anyway, can you take me to the nearest bar? I am in desperate need for a drink.”

“Sure mister, I’ll buy you a drink on the house-”

“I really just need you to fill my three mason jars. I don’t like going into establishments.” interrupted the King.

“Alright, I’ll go in and be back in a few minutes.” The pony and the River King walk into the city of Canterlot, with no one realizing he was a monster, just a big fellow. They pass a shady part of the city, and several beggars are lining the street. Each time the approach one, Tahm tossed a few bits into their cups. Eventually, they get to the bar and the King waits outside.

“Here you are, three jars full of hard cider. Hope you enjoy it.”

“Thank you sir.” Kench hands the pony a few bits to thank him, and walks back to the river with the jars sealed shut. He looks back towards the city, and thinks out loud for a minute.

“Perhaps I will reveal myself to them at some point, like Steven suggested…”