Scientific Progress Goes Crash

by Drax

Rating: everyone
Tags: Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2594

There are many great mysteries in Ponyville, 65% of wich involve Pinkie Pie in some form or other. But of all the mysteries, the one that plagues Twilight Sparkle the most (besides Pinkie) is why does Rainbow Dash keep crashing into her home?

Experiment 247: Day 1

Subject of study: Why does Rainbow Dash keep crashing into my library?

Hypothesis A: She thinks it’s fun. Disproved because Rainbow prefers staying in the air and hates helping me clean up.

Hypothesis B: She’s clumsy Rainbow is extremely graceful in the air

Hypothesis C: None . . .Further study needed.

For the Abyss' competition.

Published 2015-08-06 03:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-06 03:10:01 UTC

Scientific Progress Goes Crash

Experiment 247: Day 1

Subject of study: Why does Rainbow Dash keep crashing into my library?

Hypothesis A: She thinks it’s fun. Disproved because Rainbow prefers staying in the air and hates helping me clean up.

Hypothesis B: She’s clumsy Rainbow is extremely graceful in the air.

Hypothesis C: None . . .Further study needed.

This wasn’t creepy, not in the slightest. All Twilight was doing was using a spell to observe and track Rainbow Dash’s movements. If any normal pony tried this it would be creepy, but this was for science. Which isn’t creepy unless you’re trying to bring somepony back from the dead. Compared to that, spying on her friend was really the lesser of two evils.

She’d chosen this day specifically to start her experiment because—according to prior records—it was the type of day Rainbow was most likely to ram straight into her library. Sunny with enough cloud coverage to provide ample sleeping destinations, and a slight wind current to beat her wings against and offer her something of a challenge.

“Perks of being a princess,” she thought as she levitated a hoof full of hayfries into her mouth. “When you ask for weather reports for weeks in advance, they have to give it to you.” Her eyes were trained on the small model Rainbow Dash her magic had created.

She’d interwove a tracking spell along with a very intricate mapping spell and voila. A detailed model of Ponyville, given form by her magic, was laid out across the library floor, complete with its own miniature version of Rainbow Dash barely three inches high (Also a town hall that had been turned into a sofa chair for her viewing pleasure).

She’d naturally had to close the library for this—she’d get an earful from the mayor for that later. And of course she’d had to send Spike to spend the day with Rarity. He didn’t know about this little side project of hers, and if he did he’d just try to talk her out of it, saying that spying on your friends wasn’t the “right thing to do” or “legal”. But a lot of things said that this wasn’t legal; like the law, and common sense, and Princess Celestia, who for all intents and purposes was the law. But if science listened to any of those things ponies still wouldn’t have figured out how to... actually, now that she thought about it a majority of pony society ran on magic. But science had it’s place still, and she would prove it with this.

Still though, no matter how adorable watching a tiny Rainbow Dash stuff cupcakes into her mouth in a doll sized sugar cube corner was, there was only so much she could take before she got bored. “Not that this was the most riveting work to begin with,” she sighed.

So far she had Dash on record for waking up early in the morning in her cloud house (Which was proudly hanging over Twilight's coffee table), and then doing a good two hours of exercise and stretches before heading off to work. She was there for a good chunk of the morning, dashing back and forth, grouping clouds together, or clearing them from certain areas. During this, though, Rainbow Dash showed her usual amount of control, passing over the library several times and flying nowhere near it.

“Doesn’t really prove anything though,” Twilight said as she scribbled notes about her finding onto a small leather notebook she’d brought out for just this occasion. “Rainbow always says that she was trying some new trick when she bursts in here. Besides, no matter how massive this tree is, it’s still a good deal below cloud cover.” Still it was a noteworthy observation.

After work Rainbow had made a B-line for Sweet Apple Acres, which had strangely enough manifested itself sideways on a collection of books about apple farming. After grabbing a stepladder so she could continue her research, Twilight spent what amounted to a good four and a half hours watching her miniature Dash sleep in an Apple tree. Then another two hours watching her flit around Sweet Apple Acres after falling out of a tree (Presumably bucked out and then chased by Applejack).

Now with evening fast approaching, Rainbow had settled down for a snack. From what Twilight knew about her rainbow-haired friend this was a fairly typical day for her… except for one small detail. “Flying! She hasn’t gone to practice all day." Twilight felt like pulling her mane out as she slumped in her seat of power. As much fun as science could be, no pony ever said it couldn’t be boring. And watching Rainbow all day was definitely more boring than awesome.

“Come on Dash,” she groaned at the Mini-Dash that was busy licking icing off its face. “I’m not looking for a sonic rainboom, just a little bit of flying, and a little bit of crashing. That’s all I need.” Almost as if Celestia had heard her prayers or Discord had been messing with her all day and decided to stop, Rainbow suddenly leapt out of her seat. Waving goodbye to what Twilight could only assume was Pinkie Pie, the blue Pegasus let her wings stretch out to her sides and took off zooming her way out of Sugarcube Corner.

Twilight couldn’t suppress the slight squee that slipped from her mouth. A whole day of nothing had led up to this moment. She levitated her notebook over to her and watched as Rainbow started he usual routine.

First was the speed test that Rainbow always performed on herself to see if she’d gotten any faster. “Simple enough, just a back and forth across Ponyville from one end of Ponyville to the other. Little chance of her crashing during that.” Twilight marked that off the list of possible crash hazards in rainbow's routine she'd made.

Next were some simple procedures to gauge maneuverability. Despite Rainbow’s large wing size she was incredibly aerodynamic, able to make sharp turns and twists. And the best way to test that was by weaving through the streets of Ponyville. Twilight was lucky the tracing spell was so powerful, otherwise she never would have followed her friend’s movements as she buzzed through the streets of Ponyville. Dodging back and forth to avoid what Twilight could only assume were ponies, and ducking in and out of alleyways.

“Geez,” Twilight muttered as Rainbow rotated sideways to fit through an alleyway she should have in no logical sense been able to fit through. “Is it me or is Rainbow Dash a bit more sprightly than usual.” Napping aside, Twilight recorded her observation in her notebook, and then immediately trained her eyes back on her friend. Now it was time for the good part.

Rainbow started things off simple with a few loops and mid-air twists; a barrel roll here, an aileron roll there. But as the performance continued it became gradually more complex. More speed, more twists, more tight turns that her body shouldn’t possibly be able to hold up against. All while her tail traced an afterimage behind her in the sky. Back and forth, back and forth, the colors blended and split forming something of an image in her mind’s eye. It was beautiful, and Twilight found herself completely forgetting about her notes while she watched it.

As Rainbow started to slow her movements, Twilight was freed from her trance and could finally feel her heart racing. She hastily used her magic to grab onto her notebook and check off a good portion of her list. As far as Twilight could tell, Rainbow had run through her entire routine, minus one sonic rainboom. “But there’s no chance she’ll try that this close to Ponyville, too much collateral damage.”

Twilight bit into another one of her—now cold—hayfries. “Maybe this isn’t my lucky day.” Twilight’s thoughts were interrupted as Rainbow slowly started to rise above the cloud cover.

“Oh no you don’t,” uttered Twilight. Her horn begins glowing as she extended the spell to follow Rainbow. Twilight grabbed a hold of her stepladder from earlier positioning herself just right so she could poke her head above the fake clouds and see what Rainbow was after.

She was just standing there. She’d torn a whole through one of the clouds and was down at Ponyville. “What is she…wait a minute.” Twilight brought her head out of the clouds, twisting her today as best as she could to get a good idea of what Rainbow was looking at.

Twilight’s brows furrowed as revelation dawned on her. “She wouldn’t,” she growled. Twilight’s suspicions were confirmed though, when a Rainbow trail broke through the cloud covering, zooming at Mach speeds straight for her library.

Twilight thought quickly, dissipating the spell and grabbing a book off her shelf, she laid down where she was and opened it to a random page. When Rainbow Dash sped through, it would appear like she’d spent the entire day reading.

“Wait for it,” thought Twilight, “Rainbow Dash incoming in one...two...”

Crash! There it was, the sound Twilight had gotten so used to. She had to give Rainbow some credit though. When she came spiraling in she’d managed to break a window, a vase from Celestia, and knock over the entire collection of the Trotsford Dictionary for the last thirty years. Beating out her old record from just a few weeks ago.

Rainbow had landed dead smack on Twilight’s coffee table. “I knew there was a reason I got that thing reinforced.” Twilight thought to herself. It wouldn’t do to be distracted though, Rainbow was starting to come to her senses. It was time to put on a show.

She walked over to the table shaking her head all the way. “Really, Rainbow Dash? How many times does that make it this week?" She asked, an air of annoyance in her voice.

The blue Pegasus shook herself, leaping down from the table so she could look her friend in the face. “I don’t really know.” She brushed a hoof through her mane, partially out of embarrassment, and partially to brush some of the spare Vase pieces out of there. “I think this is the third time if we count Sunday.” She chuckled nervously.

Twilight’s eyes narrow, “Oh, we’re definitely counting Sunday. And just like Sunday, you're going to clean all this up." Rainbow groaned but didn’t say anything else, she knew complaining would be useless. Twilight pointed a hoof at the knocked over books and Rainbow slowly began the process of re-shelving them. She’d done this enough that she knew order and didn’t need Twilight to watch over her.

Which was a relief to Twilight. She was pretty sure if she had to talk to Rainbow too much, she’d just end up screaming. All this time, all this time Rainbow had been purposefully ramming herself into the library. “Why?” Twilight hissed, “It doesn’t make sense.”

That thought would consistently pick away at Twilight as she tried to recover all the pieces of the vase so she could put it back together. It was slow work, work that was only represented every once in a while for Twilight to try and probe Rainbow for answers. She asked her what trick she’d been doing, where she thought she’d went wrong, etc.

All she got though was standard answers from her. She’d been trying something new, overshot where she was supposed to stop, and land in the library on accident. Twilight tsked as the last piece of the vase was melded into place by her magic. “Nothing I haven’t heard before,” she thought.

Rainbow was done with her organizing job, and was now standing by, waiting to be scolded as usual. She was shuffling her legs back and forth, and looking incredibly guilty. Normally, this look would work on Twilight. She’d tell Dash not to do it again, and then send her on her way. Not this time though, oh no. This time Twilight knew the truth, Dash had been doing all of this on purpose!

Twilight approached her friend intent on giving her the biggest talking to of her entire life. But then stopped herself. Not only would that ruin her experiment, but the grimace Rainbow had given her when she had seen her approach was just too pitiful. Yelling at her now, would be like screaming at a helpless filly, and Twilight was pretty sure Dash was well aware of this fact. So instead, she gave the pegasus her usual speech, and then told her to go home.

Rainbow cringed, “Oh come on, Twilight, it’s late out. Plus its set to rain.” Can’t I just stay here like usual?”

There was a very vindictive part of Twilight that wanted to say no, but found she couldn’t. And so, reluctantly, she nodded her head. Rainbows face broke out into a big smile that, strangely enough, lifted Twilight’s as well. “Great, I’ll get the fire going.”

This had become something of a routine for them lately. Rainbow always did a considerable amount of damage to the library any time she came barging through, and since it was usually pretty late at night by the time she got one putting everything back in its place (Twilight refused to use magic to help her), Rainbow would often spend the night.

After igniting her horn to fix the window, there were thankfully less pieces of that then the vase. Twilight began walking through the steps of their routine. While Rainbow started the fire, Twilight had to grab something to drink—preferably cocoa—and covers off her bed to keep them extra toasty.

It was…nice, but ultimately not something Dash would spend hours of organizing to do. “Ha, just the thought of it makes me want to laugh. Loyal or no, there’s no way Rainbow would go through all that just to spend time with me.”

Whatever reason Rainbow decided to crash, both literally and figuratively, into her home, was momentarily forgotten as Twilight placed a cup of hot cocoa down next to the pegasus in question. She had already wrapped herself in a cover cocoon and the fire was blazing.

Twilight smirked, “You’re seriously going to hog all of the covers?”

Rainbow scoffed “What are you talking about, “I totally saved you some space, see,” Rainbow wiggled her body, revealing a small Twilight sized hole next to her. Twilight shook her head in disbelief, but still crouched down and began to back herself into the opening.

It was a bit of a tight squeeze, with her body being pressed up against Rainbow’s. But still it was nice. This was nice. All thoughts of experiments and guilty pegasus fleeing from her head, as the warmth from the flames and the body next to her washed over her. With Rainbow unpinning her wing and wrapping it around her for added affect and the dull sounds of raindrops beating out a lullaby on her roof. It proved not only impossible, but illogical for her not to lay her head down and surrender to sleep. And so she did.

Experiment day 1 results... Inconclusive

Author's Note

I made this in two days for the competition Abyss is hosting, but even without that I'm glad I wrote it. I've been feeling a bit tired writing in the stiff formal tone of Bite me, and this was a nice break from that. its reminded me of why I love writing to begin with so even if I don't win, this was nice.