Tony Atlas: The Titan of Friendship

by zerofireking13

Rating: mature
Tags: Human, Main 6, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Romance, Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Adventure, Princess Celestia
Length: 6834

Tony Atlas is a Titan agent, he goes around with his team by being hired by separate countries governments to take out any threats. He is essentially the leader and what brings the team together. Now he's missing.

T.I.T.A.N.

Tactical Insertion Team of the Allied Nations. It is supported and run by the money and governments that they are hired by. The agents hired are contain unique abilities, Tony Atlas is one of those agents. He has those unique abilities.

Published 2015-08-06 19:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-09-08 12:33:52 UTC

Prologue

Prologue

I am Tony Atlas, I was unique to say the least. I was a Titan agent, I was trained for any combat situation, to handle and adapt to be able to lead my team in absolutely any environment. I'm 6'3, 235.64 lb., black hair, Caucasian, and was built like a tank. My abilities are that I can bench press over 3,000 tons, that I knew of. I have mass expansion it meant that I could grow to any size I imagined. The last one was my healing ability, it can't prevent death but it is handy in certain situations. Right now I was bouncing a ball off the wall and humming to myself. I had my tank top and black jeans with converse on. I have super strength, growing, and healing basically.

There was a knock on his door. I looked up and answered. "It's open."

"I heard boredom and you know what that means." Hermes rambled off with his motormouth. Hermes was around 5'9 with blonde hair and green eyes and was the fastest person alive. He can perceive time faster than any person in the world. He can break through the sound barrier by running. He was around 175.39 lb. Zeus was right behind him. He was a mute, supposedly from trying to catch lightning on his tongue. It worked for him, he was the strong silent type.

Zeus was 6' even and 207.81 lb. He wore punk clothes and was shaved bald. I don't know his real hair color. There was still a betting pool on it. He had electromancy, that meant that he was able to use lightning and bend it to his will. It made sense that his best friend was Hermes. He had enough of a mouth to fill up for two people.

"How's the teleportation device coming along?"

"You know how Hephaestus is when it comes to his gadgets."

Hephaestus isn't actually an agent, he was a scientist by the name of Dr. Henry Phosphorus, ironic I know. He handles the part where our powers aren't enough to get the job done. He made my gauntlets, they're metal gloves that stopped at my elbows. I don't have invincible skin or unbreakable bones, I need something sturdy behind my punch and the gauntlets work. Currently the doc was working on a teleportation device that would allow the team to get into the mission area and get out faster. We were the only ones that stayed behind.

Technically we were grounded, by the government. That was a strange thing to say. I was grounded by the government. I looked at both of them. "So who do you think that will be the first test subject on this one."

Zeus looked at me with the 'are you shitting me?' look.

"Me, right. I'm always the first. There was the new suit, new jet, new formula, that gene splicing incident."

"I thought you looked cool as a giant hamster."

"Not helping. I like the guy but being the crash test dummy for every new concoction his thinks up in his mind of his."

"It doesn't help that he was almost sent to jail for human testing in his laboratories."

"Let's just head down to labs and see how it's going."

The trio headed to the elevator and went down to the sub level 6. The doctor was running around like a frantic madman. "Thank god you guys are here I need help. Hermes can you get me these components they should be in the reactor's maintenance level. Zeus can you power those stands. Tony just stand still."

The guys did what the doctor had asked and I went to my equipment locker grabbed my utility belt and gauntlets, sat down and started to read a magazine. Everything was moving while I was reading.

"Oh no the portal's destabilizing. The destination could be anywhere in the suggested multiverse." The doctor looked at Tony who was reading a magazine and rolling towards the portal and completely distracted. "TONY!"

It was too late by the time I had realized what the doc was warning me about the chair fell in the portal and with me along with it. The worst part was that I dropped my magazine. The last thing I remember was that there was a vortex of swirling colors and then black.

******************************************************************************

I opened my eyes and was surrounded by a forest, I sat up observing my environment and made a tactical assessment. "I'm in a forest, it rained recently so there's dew on the ground I have to find a dry patch or gravel to start a fire if need."

I pulled a 360 turn. "This forest may be home to dangerous predators. I need a higher view."

I powered up my muscles in my legs and rushed upwards, I grabbed the top of a pine tree and looked around. "Mountains, swamp, canyons, more forest, field of apple trees, village. Wait back up, that's a village and where there's a village there's people."

I jumped to what looked like the village center. Looked at the message board and found a map. The town said 'Ponyville' I could be anywhere I needed to gather intel.

"Where is the best place to get info?" I thought for a bit. "What would Athena do? She would get to the nearest information hub. That would be a library."

I looked at the map I spotted the library on the map. I then jumped towards the area. I landed in front of the building and there was a light on I peeked through to find what looked like a small purple horse inside reading.

"What the fuck?"

The little horse's head perked up and I dropped to the ground. I heard the door open. "Rainbow is that you? You know I don't like pranks this late at night."

What do I do? I'm in a land that I have no idea how to navigate. The only hope that I have rests on this tiny horse I'm praying to god that she doesn't freak the fuck out. I take a deep breath and rise slowly. "Hello."

Explanations

There was a lot of screaming to say the least. Her name was Twilight Sparkle, I just called her Twilight for short. The whole screaming fiasco was over and done with and now I was sitting in the living room of this horse's.....house I guess? I was being interviewed, my application for McDonalds was never this detail oriented. Then again I only worked there for a week until people tried to murder me to take my super powers.

"So now that all of the freaking out is out of the way Twilight, do you mind telling me where exactly I am?"

"Oh of course. I am honored to be the first pony to introduce an alien species to the land of Equestria."

"Equestria?"

"Yes, I have a feeling you will want to meet with our leaders soon? Establish a working beneficial trade relations?"

"Twilight, I hate to be the one to burst your bubble so soon, but I didn't come to Equestria on purpose."

She grew confused at that. "What do you mean Mr........?"

I forgot to give her my name. "I'm sorry, that was rude of me. I'm Tony Atlas." I held out my hand and she put her hoof in it and I gave her a firm yet soft shake. "What I mean is that I came here by accident and have absolutely no knowledge of getting back home. That thing you just said right then is an impossibility."

"I'm sorry, you must be so lonely."

"I've only been on this planet for the better part of half an hour. Not much to be crying my eyes out yet."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Well, Tony I'm sure that if we work together, the princesses and I will be able to find you a way back home."

"Thanks, you're the nicest tiny talking horse I've ever met."

"Pony."

"What?"

"The species I'm called is a pony the scientific name is equus ferus caballus."

"Oh well then I'm what you call a human, well mostly. The scientific name is homosapiens, but I'm more than that."

"What do you mean?"

"You might want to sit down for what I'm about to tell you." She looked at me, she was already sitting. "Okay, well back on my planet sometimes a human is born with unique abilities. Hidden within their strands of DNA sometimes said person can activate said abilities underneath a unique set of circumstances. I am one of those people, and hidden within my DNA is the ability to push my muscle structure to beyond what humans classify as 'possible'. I have the ability of super strength, I can also increase my body structure and mass to fit the need of what I require at the moment. I also have the ability to heal injuries faster than any human."

"Wow."

"But having these powers doesn't come without a drawback. In my world there are people that don't have these powers and want them all for themselves. We call those the Takers. These people have found a way to extract the power from our DNA and use it to their advantage. The drawback is that the original carrier for that ability is that they die during the process."

"Oh, that's just mean! They sacrifice other lives to get what they want! I'd never be able to do that." She hopped up to her feet, hooves? Now she was clearly angry.

"Calm down Twilight, I'm not done." She sat back down and I continued with my story. "There is an organization that is run by the government called the Tactical Insertion Team of the Allied Nations or T.I.T.A.N. for short. They find these unique individuals and train them to combat and defend not only themselves but other regular humans. Tell me Twilight have you ever read a comic book?"

"I did once. There's more to that story though, but yes."

"Those comics usually have super heroes in them yes?" She nodded. "I am one of those super heroes. I would risk my life if it meant that others would live in my stead. I sacrifice my regular life so that others would follow my example and follow the same path that I walk on. The path of a hero."

I yawned, "But right now this hero is tired. You have anywhere that I could sleep?"

"Yeah I have a spare bed upstairs." She then yawned. "I need some sleep too, I've been studying too hard again. Follow me please."

I followed her to the bedroom. I looked down to see a lizard sleeping in a basket.

"Don't mind him." She said. "That's jus' Spike." She pointed a hoof in the direction of the other bed. "That'z your bed, hopefully it won't be too uncomfortable." The purple pony then got into her own bed and fell asleep before her head hit the pillow. I adjusted to my bed and whispered. "Good night Athena." Then I fell asleep

New Faces, New Places

My sleeping is pretty uneventful, I don't generally have dreams. I could tell it was morning because someone had the audacity to poke me while I was asleep.

"-ony.....Tony wake up.........TONY ATLAS GET YOUR FLANK OUT OF BED BEFORE I HAVE TO DRAG IT OUT MYSELF!"

I shot up to see who was shouting at me it was that purple pony. If looks could kill she would be glue right now.

"Don't look at me like that I wanted you to get up so I could introduce you to my friends."

"I have half a mind not to throw you out the window."

"The other half is still asleep." Twilight commented.

I lay back down to get more rest. Twilight took my arm and tried to drag me out of bed, I wouldn't budge. Twilight dropped on her rump and scratched her chin with her hoof.

"I've got coffee waiting for you." She smirked.

"You just said the magic words." I got up and cracked all the bones in my body I could she winced at that noise. "I gotta ask Twilight, where did you learn to yell like that?"

"My B.B.B.F.F is captain of the royal guard."

"Your what now?"

"Big Brother Best Friend Forever."

"You act like everyone should know what that means."

"Everypony."

"Again, what?"

"You said everyone you meant to say everypony."

I thought for a bit got up, then said. "That's racist."

"I- gah-What!?"

"Saying everypony is racist."

"It is not! It shows unity throughout the country."

"I'm guessing you have only met ponies in your life."

"I have not! I've met buffalo, griffins, sea serpents, mules, zebras, minotaurs, and even breezies."

"Then when you say everypony it is secluding the other races, therefore it is racist. Now when you say everyone and everybody that means that you acknowledge every form of race and accept them into your social normalities."

"What about the words, anypony and no pony."

"I would replace them with anyone and no one."

"Why?"

"Because all the other races are not ponies. Saying anyone and no one acknowledges that they are one being. You don't share a mind with Spike do you?"

"No!"

"When you say everypony it excludes him from the conversation and it belittles him. You don't want others doing that to you, am I right?"

Twilight's ears folded to the back her head. "I never thought of it that way before, it's just one of those thing you get used to doing you don't notice."

"It's not just ponies either, humans are capable of doing so too. You get so comfortable doing one thing for so long you never think about how it could effect others."

"Thanks Tony." She nuzzled my leg.

"What for?"

She looked up at me. "I've never thought about the consequences of what I'm doing could effect others. Now I know a way to talk that has expanded my knowledge and includes everyone."

I rubbed her head. "You're getting the hang of it. It's something I always consider whenever I go to stop the bad guys. If public property gets destroyed I don't just fly off and say nothing about it. I stay behind and help rebuild it, you can be a hero without chasing the bad guys."

I start walking down the stairs into the kitchen to find a coffee pot waiting for me with the black brew already filled to the top. Twilight followed me and gave me a mug while she reached for her own. She was using some kind of glowing stasis field to levitate the mug into my hands.

"How did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"That!" I pointed at the glowing, floating, mug.

"Oh that's just a simple magic spell of telekinesis."

"Okay I'll just go with it for now." It can't be much worse than saying that someone moves the sun and moon, that is just absolute bullshit. "Hey Twilight do you think after breakfast I could get a look at some of those books. I need a layout of where I am hopefully I can get a tactical assessment from reading."

"Okay. I think I have some maps and books that will help, but if you want to be able to do that you have to meet my friends."

"Deal. I'll meet your friends but after I find out where I am and get a detailed assessment of how this country works."

"Why do you need to know that?"

"I have a good friend that told me a little knowledge goes a long way."

"Your friend must be really smart."

I thought about Athena for a moment then sighed. "You have no idea. In fact you kind of remind me of her."

"Really?"

"Yeah." If you could read minds and turn brains to liquid then you would have her almost spot on.

"Did you like her?"

"Yeah, how did you know?"

"You said 'her' so it pertains to a female, you also sighed when you talked about her."

"How could you read my body language so well?"

"My old foal sitter used to deal with helping ponies in love so I picked up on it quickly it's one of those things."

"You just don't forget." I completed for her.

"So what do you want for breakfast. I usually have pancakes."

"I'd love some pancakes right about now."

Tactical Assessments and Big Battles

I hated to do T.A.'s or tactical assessments for short, but it's one of those bad things you have to bear through it. Twilight suggested that I use the basement so that she could open the library. I was a bit comprehensive at first because it's a public library and someone might stumble on to me. She reassured me that only a few ponies are allowed down there at all. Then she put an 'Employees Only' sign on the door and let me lock the door behind her. She had the only key and the cellar entrance was padlocked.

"Baltimare, Manehattan, Las Pegasus, Cloudsdale. These all sound like bad imitations of cities in the United States." I was also given a few books on the different types of ponies. "Unicorns, Pegasus, and Earth pony." The books had detailed anatomy on all different types. I had books on the fauna flora of the planet. "This helps me out."

I found the journal in my utility belt and started writing notes, and sketching the details of the pony anatomy. I heard a door open and looked up to see Twilight at the top of the stairs. She trotted down and asked.

"What are you doing?"

"T.A.'s" I looked over to her. "Tactical Assessments, they help me get a grip of my surroundings in case I was ever stranded or in this case lost."

"Oh I can see why that would be helpful."

"If you don't mind me asking, why are you down here."

"Remember your deal. You have to meet my friends."

"I did make that deal didn't I?"

"Yes you did, I already invited the girls over. They're names and colors to the name. Fluttershy has a pink mane and butterscotch yellow coat, Pinkie Pie has a hot pink mane that is really poofy, and she has a pink coat. Applejack has a blonde mane and orange coat." I looked at her and she continued. "Confusing I know, let me finish Rarity has a curly purple mane and a white coat. Then there is Rainbow Dash."

I giggled. "What is she a lesbian?"

"If you mean filly-fooler then I wouldn't know, why does everyone ask that?"

"Because a rainbow is symbolism for being homosexual."

"You should tell her that so she won't throw fits anymore."

I continued to write down information. Twilight looked at my journal, "Yes?" I asked.

"Do you mind if I look at your book?"

I tossed it next to me with it open and she looked at my sketches.

"These are very detailed, were you in art school before you were recruited into T.I.T.A.N.?"

"I was an artist that had recently graduated. My teachers said as soon as I got out into the art world it would be hell. I like to think that training was harder." I smirked.

There was a knock on the door. "There's the girls, follow me."

I cracked my neck and followed her upstairs. "Let's get this over with."

"Girls something wonderful happened last night." Twilight said.

"What? Did you finally find a special somepony?" a tomboyish voice chided.

"What- no Rainbow Dash that did not happen. Something else happened."

I walked up the stairs and went through the doorway to find Twilight in front of a group of other ponies. I stopped right behind Twilight.

"Girls I would like for you to meet Tony Atlas, he is that wonderful thing I was talking about."

The ponies were too shocked to even say anything their jaws were unhinged. The blue one flew right up to my face.

"What are you huh? You wanna fight? I'll give you a fight! Come on." She raised her hooves to look like she was ready to start a boxing match. I took a deep breath and put my index finger on top of her head and just pushed down. She tried to gain altitude but it wasn't working for her, slowly she descended to the floor. Then I took my finger off her head and said.

"Nice to meet you too."

The orange one looked at me, "What in tarnation are you?"

"I'm a human."

"I thought those things were just a myth." The white one said.

"So did I but Tony here dropped by my door last night and told me mind-blowing things."

"Like what?!!!?" The pink one asked.

"I think it's time to get introductions out of the way." I said, then I got hit in the leg by Twilight. "Ow, what Twilight?"

"I told you their names not even five minutes ago, are you really that forgetful?"

"Yes." I said, I was very forgetful at time. It was due to Athena that I could remember things very well.

Twilight had told the girls my story and how I got here, and we were all introduced. She was about to continue when we were cut off by a roar and screaming outside.

The ponies ran outside, looking up they saw smoke in the background.

"What's going on?" Twilight shouted.

A random pony running by said. "There's a dragon attacking!"

"Dragon?!! Girls we need to get the elements-" Twilight was cut off when I walked out of the library with all my gear on. "Tony get back inside there's a dragon attacking!"

"Good." I said while tuning up my gauntlets.

"No, not good this is the very opposite of good. This is horrible, we could die. You could die!" Twilight exclaimed.

"Remember what I told you last night Twi?"

"Yes."

I didn't say anything else, I continued to walk to the center of town while all the ponies were still running by screaming. Then I started to make myself grow, this was a dragon so it was bound to be huge so I was going to meet it on it's level. The time I stopped growing I towered over all the buildings, that wasn't going to work I needed to get the dragon out of the town before both of us cause more collateral damage. I looked around to find an empty field near-by. I grabbed the dragon by the neck and threw him into the field and jumped after him.

"Alright you, ugly excuse for an overgrown iguana. I'm going to make short work of this and you."

I cracked my knuckles and the dragon charged me, I side stepped it and grabbed the tail pulled it back smashing my fist into it's spinal column. The dragon was slow to get up after my first attack, it regained it's footing and was ready to strike again. I was ready for anything, except fire. The dragon spewed out a jet of red hot flame my direction. I held my arms up to shield my face but those flames never came. I looked to see a magenta glow stopping the flames. I saw the source of it to be Twilight.

"What are you waiting for? Finish this!"

No need to tell me twice. Twilight dropped the shield and I rushed to capitalize, I twisted around and wrapped the dragon in a sleeper hold for ten seconds and the dragon was out. The girls were cheering as I was walking towards them until I felt a burning pain on my back. I fell to my knees looking back the dragon wasn't done yet and neither was I. It was just a flesh wound and it healed fast, but now there was a tear in the only tank top I had on me. I got back to my feet and stared at my opponent. I charged him, I could tell he was ready up until the moment I changed back to my normal size.

I slid underneath the dragon and used my human rocket/superman technique. Basically I super jumped into his gut fist first, it sent him flying into the atmosphere, I backed up aligning myself with his head jumped and yelled.

"SHORYUKEN!"

That uppercut sent him flying back to the Everfree forest. I was walking away from the battlefield wiping my hands while Twilight and her friends looked on, to say that they were shocked would be the understatement of the universe.

"That takes care of that." I said casually. The girls followed me.

"How did you do that!? That was even more awesome than that time we actually met Daring Do!" Rainbow exclaimed.

"Yeah he was all like ROAR! You were all like pow, bam, boom! No more mister nice pony. Then BAM, you're out of here Mr. Grumpy Meanie Pants." Pinkie was a lot like Hermes with her motormouth.

"HALT!"

I stopped in place. That was a sound I was familiar with, the voice of command. I turned to see many ponies in armor.

"By order of the Royal Sisters Princess Celestia and Luna, you are under arrest."

"On what grounds?" I asked.

"Public endangerment, destruction of personal and public property, use of unknown unregistered magics. You're coming with us." The guard said.

"What! Didn't you see what he just did! HE SINGLEHOOVEDLY SAVED THE TOWN FROM A DRAGON A MOTHERBUCKING DRAGON!" Twilight shouted. "SOMETHING THAT NONE OF YOU COULD HAVE DONE WITH ALL THE SOLDIERS ON THE PLANET!"

"TWILIGHT!" She stopped her ranting and looked at me, she was breathing heavily. "They are right, I did put the public in danger and I more than likely stepped on a few stalls and nudged a few buildings. Even though I saved the town I could still be arrested."

I took off my gauntlets and utility belt giving them to Twilight, then I walked over to the guards with my hands up. "I surrender."

The guards didn't have any handcuffs only shackles. We were riding in a flying chariot, I was used to flying but not this way before. I looked outside the bars of the window to see us arriving at a city built on a mountain. I've been to cities built around a mountain, inside one, but this thing was hanging off the side without having any problem of falling off.

The doors opened, the shackles were hooked to chains that were being pulled by a squadron of guards. I was escorted to the dungeon, and placed in a cell. I rubbed my wrists, the shackles were off but man do they chafe. I was waiting I knew that Twilight and the girls would pull though for me, they just had to.

Citizenship has it's....drawbacks

The dungeon wasn't as scary as I thought it was. It was made out of iron bars and stone, I could've easily smashed my way out. I didn't though, there's a reason why I want to get into their good graces and if I could find a way home. There was a pile of hay with a blanket and pillow, there was a bucket and there were the cell doors plus a small window to look outside. I just needed to play the waiting game, I was staring at the stars seeing if I could find the north star from where I'm at. I was still looking until I heard footsteps, hoof-steps? coming down the hall I could tell it was for me after all I was the only prisoner here.

The sound came to a stop at my cell, I was sitting with my back to the cell doors. I didn't turn around though I did ask. "Yes?"

"We would appreciate it if thou wouldst giveth us the favor of addressing us to our face."

I could tell it was a mare by the pitch and tone of the voice but she was speaking old english. "I would appreciate not being thrown in jail for saving a town from a dragon, so it seems we are at an impasse."

"So t'would seem, if thou could entertain us for a moment. What is thou doing?"

"Why does it matter to you?"

"We are just curious."

"Curiosity killed the cat."

"Satisfaction brought it back." She completed for me, she's smart I'll give her that.

"I was looking at the stars." I finally relented.

"Why?"

"I always liked looking at the stars when I was growing up in my orphanage, when I looked up there I aways thought that if there was life out there maybe I could be the one who found it." I smirked, "Now I'm on a potentially alien planet with no means of going home and my only hope is looking at the stars and see if I can find something familiar."

"We thank thee for thy words."

I stood up and turned around to find a midnight blue unicorn with wings and a starry mane. She was different than that of the other ponies. "Why are you thanking me? I said nothing about you."

"Tis true that thou has proclaimed nothing for us, but thou has complimented us all the same."

"How?"

"Tis what thou has said about our stars, for thou would see it is we that controls them."

"How is that!?-No wait, lemme guess, magic?"

"Yes."

"Okay, so if you can't explain it. It's gotta be magic, that's stupid."

"How is that so?"

"It doesn't inspire others to find new things, where I come from there is no magic."

"Wouldn't thou's race be disabled?"

"No, in fact it's quite the opposite. It inspires us to find a different way of thinking. When we couldn't move faster than what our bodies allowed us to, we invented the car. We didn't have wings to fly, so we built them. Not even 50 years after we built machines that could help us fly. We built a machine that could put us on the moon."

"Thine race sounds amazing, but we feel that thou is not telling us the whole truth."

"Every race has it's mistakes. Not only did we build effective ways of moving, but also killing. There were wars, fought and wars won. There was a lot of killing for power, land, the right to rule, but even so my race has a saying. 'We're only human' it means that no one is perfect, and we admit that. It's the fact that we can overcome those faults, and rebuild to be better than ever that makes life worth fighting for."

"Thy words are inspiring, where did thou come up with them."

"It's from a hard life lived. Every time someone would put me down, I thought of the words I've spoken and took action. I never killed them though."

"Why would you not execute them?"

"It wouldn't make me any better than the ones that put me down."

"There is truth in thine words, we appreciate it we bid you a good rest."

"Same to you." I said as she walked away leaving me to my thoughts once more. "Better get some sleep." I mumbled to myself. "I don't have much better to do anyways." I lay on the pile of hay with the blanket covering most of my unclothed areas. I don't care who you are hay is itchy as hell. I drifted to sleep soon after.

I was asleep but, I wasn't dreaming. In fact I rarely do dream at all, it's got to do with my DNA. It's said that everyone in the world uses only 10% of their brain capacity, that's what separates Titan agents from most people. Titans can use up to 20% I can use 25% brain capacity, but that's the limit any further and we will destabilize which basically means that our body's cells will continue to replace dead cells. It's like dead skin but much worse our bodies will literally start to evaporate.

The reason why I can use 25% is because I have three powers, while other titans only have two. My third power of healing myself accounts for only 2.5%, the last 2.5% is called titan rage. It makes me able to use all my powers at once.

******************************************************

I was sleeping when I heard guards tapping the cell doors. "Hey freak the princesses want to see you."

I got up while the guards unlocked my cell door and put the shackles on me. I walked along side them and upstairs, I saw the pony from last night sitting on a midnight blue throne next to a white pony that looked a lot like the one I talked to last night. They might be sisters, with them looking so familiar.

I was unshackled and the guards left, I looked up and said. "I suppose you have your questions."

"Greetings to you as well. I would call you my subject but you aren't are you?"

"Let's start off with names first. I am Tony Atlas, agent of T.I.T.A.N., also known as Tactical Insertion Team of the Allied Nations."

"Hello Mr. Atlas, I am Princess Celestia Everfree, this is my sister Princess Luna Everfree. We are the co-rulers of Equestria, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance."

"You can stop with the whole Holier-than-thou act, I know what you rulers are like. Not willing to show your true selves to the public, you don't have to do that to me. Like you said, I'm not one of your subjects." I chided. The rulers just looked at me with wide eyes, it was like I had just committed sacrilege.

"You certainly are a rude one aren't you Mr. Atlas?" Celestia asked.

"I'm just a realist, I don't want this illusion of you two being perfect when I know that no one is. It's just the way I life as it is." I said to the white mare.

"In all my life I have never met someone as perceptive as you." She said.

"I know you want something from me, I wouldn't be here if you didn't. Now the question becomes, what do you want from me?" I asked.

"From what the reports the guards made it appears that you possess unregistered magics. I want you to register them." She said.

"Okay let me tell you why that's impossible. First off they're not magics, they're abilities. Second I can't exactly register my DNA into a book or a filing cabinet."

"What thou is telling us is that thou has no magics?" Luna asked.

"My abilities are limited only to my DNA, and if you try to extract my abilities it will kill me." I said. "Look I am perfectly willing to pay for my damages but I don't think you take visa or master card. I came here by pure accident I'm just waiting for my return trip home."

"Oh, well that is complicated." Celestia muttered. "I'm sorry about the situation that you have been put in and I will personally accommodate for any misconception starting with this." Her horn flared a golden light then the shackles were free from my arms and legs.

"Thank you those were chafing my wrists bad." I rubbed them as they healed. "Though I don't think you did that out of the kindness of your hear, I know you want something from me."

"Oh and why would you assume that Mr.Atlas?" Celestia asked.

"The rulers of a country wouldn't allow something as dangerous as me walk around without gaining something in return." I chided.

"Thou wouldst be most correct." Luna said. "We are willing to grant thou temporary citizenship to our country until thou's companions come to get thee."

"Don't expect me to bow to you and call you goddesses, because you're not." I replied sarcastically.

"Why not?" Sun-ass asked.

"If you two were truly goddesses then you would be omnipotent, therefore you would know of my existence on the planet the moment I arrived. You didn't, the only reason I'm here is because I decided to save a helpless village from a rampaging dragon, if you do something like move the sun and the moon that just makes you glorified unicorns with wings that are only slightly above average in what you call 'magic'." I explained. They were both visibly nervous, and I just smirked.

"You've got us there Mr.Atlas, we may have been age-locked to make us seem immortal but we're far from goddesses. I don't even know why our subjects refer us to be so, you are definitely a cut above the rest." Celestia said.

"Now we can get down to brass tax, I'm willing to agree to your conditions of temporary citizenship. I'm not a chess piece on the board of your games though."

"Why did you say those things then?" The sun princess asked.

"So you know where I'm coming from and so you know I'm not willing to be one of your pawns, I have my own very confusing life to get back to and I'd rather not spend another minute in rainbow-shitland fairytale dungeons." I said dripping with sarcasm.

It was at that moment when Twilight and her friends burst in. "Princess please don't send Tony to the sun or moon he did nothing wr-wrong-g." Twilight was in tears and was gripping my leg and crying. I just sat down and hugged her, Ok, I just have to do this.

"Princess don't you care about your subjects?" I squished Twilight's cheeks and showed it to Celestia. "They'll vouch for me. What did I ever do to deserve imprisonment in the deepest cave in equestria." I started to pretend to cry, and Twi squeezed me harder.

"Please d-don't-t P-princess-s I'l-l be g-good-d j-just don't-t d-do i-it." Twilight cried even harder.

"N-no it's alright T-twi, I just have something to say before I go." I could just barely hold together. She looked up at me. "I'm not going anywhere."

"I-Wait WHAT!!?" That got her attention.

"I'm sorry I couldn't hold it in any longer. When you came in tears and assuming that I was going to jail I took the opportunity to prank you." I laughed. She then hit me with her hoof.

"That wasn't funny." She said.

"Not even a little bit?"

"Maybe an itsy bitsy tiny bit funny." Twi said. "But not laugh out loud hilarious, I embarrassed myself in front of the princesses. I hope you didn't either."

"No, I just disproved that they are all powerful goddesses."

They all gasped, I just looked at them. AJ spoke up. "Tony what you just said, could be the highest form o' treason."

"Let me say this, if they were goddesses they would know the instant I came here. They didn't, sure I'm willing to admit that they can move the sun and the moon but that's about it."

"How would you explain how Princess Luna moves the stars then?"

"She bends the light coming from the stars to form new images every night."

"But that doesn't make any sense it's not....not...natural." Twi said.

"Tell me, what do you think the planet would do if you ponies weren't here to mess with the ecosystem?" I asked. Now the were speechless, and I continued. "The plants would grow on their own, the animals would take care of themselves, and the clouds and weather would dictate itself. Due to your interference in the ecosystem, not only have you handicapped your technological advance, but also crippled your scientific method. Ponies don't question everything, if you can't explain something it's gotta be magic."

"I.....I don't know what to say." Celestia said, "The first time in my life I'm absolutely speechless."

"What about hew-mans then huh tough guy, what have they done without magic?" Dash said.

"We put a person on the moon, when everyone said we couldn't. Only 60 years before that, we just discovered how to fly without wings or a hot air ballon. Now we have aircrafts fast enough to break the sound barrier."

"Pfft, I can do that in my sleep."

"FIVE times. We have aircrafts that can travel in outer space and break the sound barrier five times. Our weaponry can easily outmatch yours any day of the week, and we figured out how to transport without the use of trains."

"Well....we have friendship." Dash said quietly.

"That can't be good for your international relationships." Celestia said.

"Well back on earth we have a saying 'Necessity is the Mother of Invention.' Humans are not perfect by any means, but then neither are ponies. That's where I come in, I stop potential wars before they start."

Author's Note

I'm sorry it took so long for this chapter to come out I have had a major case of writers block, but here it is and please feed me comments and don't forget to give that like button a click.