Choices

I sighed, as I placed the key into my front door lock. It had been another stressful day here in Equestria for me. I thought back to that day, when I first arrived. I was in a lot of pain and I might have died, til Twilight saved my life. It had been a year now, I think. I didn't much pay attention to the days as they passed. I didn't care anymore, but winter had come and gone, and I hadn't seen another one in awhile, so I was pretty sure we were due for another one any month now.

I opened my front door, that stupid hinge squealing, pain fully as metal grinder against metal. I looked inside to see my home dark, of course this was nothing new. Equestria didn't have AC so I had resorted to drawing  the thick curtains closed to keep the sun out and the cold in. Stepping inside, I removed my shoes, before flicking the light on. It was amazing how Equestria didn't have electricity and yet could still light up an entire room, I guess magic was more useful than I thought.

The second the light flicked on, I was assaulted by a roaring wall of noise. "Surprise!" Came the collective call of several ponies, who had popped up from behind furniture.

I took at the new decorations that littered the walls. Balloons of every color of the rainbow, bounced lazily around the room, some had been tied to tables, which had been covered in platters filled with some of the best sweets here in ponyville. Streamers hung from the Banisters, looking like they were thrown at random. Confetti littered the floor leaving not a spot of the hardwood underneath. Finally a banner hung, just in Front of the stairs leading to the upstairs room. In big pink letters the words Happy one year in Equestria/Ponyville  anniversary.  was written across it. I took a long glance at the room before me, before doing the only thing possible. I quickly turned on my heel and walked out my front door. I didn't falter, I didn't pay any mind to my lack of shoes, and I certainly didn't look back as six ponies I didn't want to see,  called my name.

Suddenly a bright flash of light blinded me, forcing me to cover my eyes, and groan in slight pain and annoyance. "Brandon, don't be like that. Please come back to the party." I heard pinkie pie plead.

I removed my hands to see the mane six standing before me, they each had a different expression but I focused on Pinkie pie. Her mane had gone straight and was a dark pink color, all the cheer had left her and I could see she was on the verge of tears.

"I told you, I don't want any parties. I thought I made that clear the last time you I invited me to a party!" My voice was cold and distant and I was glaring at pinkie, which seemed to cause a few tears to slide down her face. I didn't pay it any mind.

"Dude chill," Rainbow Dash said, her Tom boyish voice drawing my attention . I noted the furious look she gave me."she was only trying to cheer you up, but your constantly being a jerk!" She spat.

"I do t remember asking to be cheered up, I just want to be left alone, but you ponies can't seem to mind your own." I retorted raise g my voice. Rainbow looked ready to reply but Applejack  spoke her piece next.

"We care bout'cha, Brandon. Ya may not be the happiest fella to be round, but you're a good person."

"Gee, I wonder why I'm not so happy?" I said sarcastically. "Twilight, do you have any idea why I'm not happy?" I spoke implying it was her fault, mostly because it was.

Twilight didn't look at me, instead choosing to look at the ground. She knew it was her fault to, and she could even look me in the eye.

"Don't blame Twilight, she only did what she thought best." Rarity spoke next. Her voice was so annoying. It reminded me of every preppy girl in high school, who thought they were better than everyone.

"If it wasn't for Twilight, and her stupid spell, I wouldn't be here. If she would have just minded her business, you could all go BA k to your normal lives. If she would mind her own business, I might finally be able to die!" I screamed I had lost it, just thinking about how Twilight had saved me, made me mad.

On the day I was planning to kill myself Twilight had casted her spell which had brought me to Equestria, I had already plunged the knife into my stomach, when she applied first aid. Since then I've been trying to end my life, but that annoying g, purple princess was always there to stop me. It was later I found out she'd put a tracking g spell on me. It was designed to alert her whenever I was about to die.

When I found out I begged her to let me die, I pleaded with her, but she refused, and I've resented her for it. I eventually got my own place, and shut myself inside. I did odd jobs around Ponyville to keep a steady flow of bits, mostly because I needed something to do, and not because I wanted to try and make things work.

"Tell those Ponies, the party is canceled, and get them the he'll out of my house."I hissed. They didn't move but I heard fluttershy mumble something. "What?" I snapped.

"W-we're your f-friends." She stammered, her face hidden behind her mane.

"Think again." I was beyond caring, I wasn't even mad, anymore, I was tired and I just wanted to go to sleep tonight. "Now go tell those ponies that the party's been cancelled, and tell them to get out of my house."

I left no room for argument, my stare causing all, but Rainbow Dash, to flinch away. It took only a matter of minutes for the ponies to exit my house. I was actually surprised to see how many had actually been inside. my home was fairly small, and yet it looked as if half of Ponyville had been walked out my front door. I noticed several, had taken food, and drinks along with them. I didn't mind though, because I didn't eat sweets much anymore, and it was better for them to take the food, instead of it ending in my trash.

More than half ponies had given me death glares, and hateful looks, to which I responded in kind, with the middle finger, and mumbled, Fuck you too" Eventually my house was empty, the girls having left long ago, some, no doubt , trying to restore my name, others, Rainbow Dash, planning to get even. Walking into my room I laid on my bed, trying to fall asleep.

I was running through a town, I didn't know why I was running, but I knew where I was going. I took a sharp turn, and crashed through a glass door, only to find myself in a black void. I didn't even turn around to check and see if the door had gone away. I could see shapes and faces floating in the blackness. I couldn't explain it, but they were huge, and small at the same time, I tried walking forward only to stumble. I couldn't walk forward, so instead I tried hopping. it worked, though it was slow, and even though I was moving forward I was making now progress.

I didn't understand what was happening, or rather I couldn't be bothered to make sense of the situation. my mind was like a fog, I couldn't think straight, but I didn't want to. In a split second I was running again, now in a different setting. I didn't bother to check and see if this was the same street as before, but I knew I wasn't alone, someone was right behind me, running with me, and I knew we were running together. We were running from something, but I didn't know what it was

Without fail, or hesitation, I melted into the perspective of the person behind me. I was alone now, I could no longer sense anyone else by me, but I was still running, I was trying to get away from something, then in an instant, it stopped. The fog had cleared from my mind and I was aware of my surroundings I had seen where I was, but now I was registering my surroundings, I could see I was on a dirt road, The same road I would walk on when I was in Illinois. Tall grass surrounded me, and I could smell the air.

"Hello, Brandon..." Came a feminine voice from behind me. I knew that voice, back when I was on Earth I longed to hear that voice. "We have much to talk about."

"Who are you?" I grunted in annoyance, she wanted to talk to me, but I didn't want to talk to her.

"Don't pretend to be ignorant, you know very well who I am, in fact I recall, you had a crush one me once." she said, her voice comforting, not at all judging me, however, I was shaken. I hadn't told any of the ponies about the show back home. I didn't want to talk about my old life, and I never mentioned princess Luna to the mane six, for her to know about my crush on her, worried me.

"Don't flatter yourself, Princess, I've gotten over it." I rolled my eye's as I brushed dirt off my shoulder, trying to hide the fact that I was unnerved. "Now why are you here."

"As I've said, I'm here to have a talk with you" I scoffed uninterested by this point, I didn't want to talk, "Twilight and her friends have asked me to solve this obsession of yours."

At the mention of Twilights name, I groaned. It was bad enough that she messed with my  waking life, but now she was having Princess Luna harassing me in my dreams as well.

"Twilight she mind her own business. It's her fault I'm stuck in Equestrian!" I fumed. "She should have never casted that spell, unless she knew how to send me back."

Luna didn't appear to be angry, she didn't glare, she didn't shoot me hateful glances, and as far as I could tell, she wasn't thinking of several different ways to disembowel me. She spoke calmly "I know for a fact, that Twilight has nothing to do with you wanting to die."

"You don't know what's in my mind!" I snapped, pointing an accusing finger at her. "You don't know anything about me!"

"I know your father was abusive." She whispered. I turned on her glaring, fury in my eyes, but she continued to talk. "I know that when you were a child, he would strangle you to stop you from crying. I know he sang a lullaby afterword's."

"Stop Talking." I growled. I kept my voice low, I didn't want to show her how angry she was making me, I didn't want her to see me at my weakest.

"I know he forced himself, onto your mother as she slept, and that your sister was there watching."

"I told you to stop talking."

"I know you were put in foster care, after you and your siblings went to school with bruises."

"Shut up!"

"I know you found out he wasn't your father, when you were fourteen."

"I swear to god, if you don't shut up..."

"I know you enlisted in the Marines, when you were old enough..." she continued ignoring my threat, and pushing on. "I know you were discharged, and I know you regret that moment ever since."

"I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I screamed, tears were running down my face. She had done it, Luna had dragged up the memories I wanted to forget so bad, she had broken me down, and stepped on the shards. I hated her for it, but I hated myself more, for letting her do it to me.

"I know your a good person, and you've just lost your way." Was she...crying? As I looked at the princess of the night, I could see tears, streaming her face. She was crying over my mistakes.

"Don't pity me. Don't you dare pity me!" I didn't care anymore, I was letting all my frustration out right here right now, if she wanted to see me as pathetic, then fine I'd give it to her. "The Marines was my chance to turn my life around. I was going to serve my country, and then I was going to go to school for photography."

I was a mess, I had fallen on my ass and was crying, actually crying, not the half assed, fake shit I did around my family. I was crying like I used to as a kid. I felt Luna wrap a wing around me. I wanted to shove her away, I wanted to scream and shout, and call her the worst words in the world, but I didn't. I didn't shove her away, instead I leaned into her, and I let her comfort me, because as strange as it sounded, I actually felt better. I felt the knot in my stomach loosen.

Luna didn't say anything, she just let me sit there and cry, and the longer I cried the better I felt. Eventfully my crying dissolved into small sobs. Once I was done she let me go, wiping away some tears, before helping me to my feet. "You may not believe it, but talking about it does help." She said smiling.

"The girls must hate me." I sighed, shamefully. I knew my actions were despicable, and I wouldn't blame the girls if they did hate me, after all I was starting to hate myself. Luna had been right, I wasn't mad at Twilight, or any of the girls, I was just using them as an outlet for my rage.

"You'd be surprised, Twilight actually told me she and the girls managed to convince Ponyville that you missed your home, and didn't want to celebrate the day you left." I looked to Luna, looking to see if she was playing a joke on me. She wasn't. The mane six actually cared enough about me, to stop all of Ponyville from running me out of town. I didn't deserve that, but I was thankful for it none the less.

"I guess I should tell the girls about why I've been suck a jerk, huh?" Luna only nodded  her smile warming my heart just a bit.

I woke up the next morning feeling exhausted. It wasn't the type of exhaustion that came from lack of sleep, it was mental exhaustion. Last night had been a pain, but the dream I had was even more of a pain, but Princess Luna had been right, I was taking my anger out on others, when it wasn't their fault.

"Man I'm gonna have to do a lot of ass kissing, to make it up to them." Suddenly There was a knock on my door. I quickly checked the clock on the wall. it was nine in the morning. I knew who was at the door, and I was nervous. I had hoped to have a day or two, to collect my thoughts, and plan on how to approach them. Reluctantly I got myself dressed before heading to my front door. I opened my door and let the mane six into my house.

"Today is gonna be long." I said to myself before quickly making tea for us.