BOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!
That's how it all ended. My comrades and I were so close to taking over that wretched castle. We had it within our gnarly hooves. Then that bright pink flash of pain and agony ejected us all over Equestria.
I'll bet that all my buddies are littered throughout the ground. Heh heh.... Hiding in plain sight. I don't know where Her Majesty went. Bah. Let her fall where she may. She had me disguised as a servant in that castle for three months. Waiting on pretty ponies all the while....
Heh. Our Queen was pretty powerful, though. Took on that haughty Princess Celwhatshername. A princess taking on a queen? Heh. That's funny. Only reason we lost is due to a lucky shot.
When I stopped falling from that disgraceful defeat, I found myself hanging from a tree. My damn tail got caught on a branch. It didn't take long to be found like that, but I had changed--bleh--into that pony again.
He helped me down--by chopping down the tree!! Some overmuscled pony came with an axe over his back. His job was to cut down trees for whatever infernal uses they had for the wood. Probably to make a birdhouse--just like a pony's logic. Destroy your home to make you a smaller one.
It fell away from him, so I skidded down the trunk on my 'pretty' hooves. I stopped right in front of him and he gave this hearty smile. And then I cracked him with my forehead.
Yeah, I could've flown down. Shut up!
I was going to get hungry soon. The Queen, despite her flaws, could always find a good source of food for us. I guess I was on my own. Couldn't be that hard.
But then I found it. Something that I had never seen before. It was this bright shiny gem. Huge, too. Bet I could find someone to fall in love with such a thing... and then feast.
I was about to toss it on my back when it started staring at me. Two little googly eyes started bouncing happily. It whistled for a second before changing into a sign that was behind me. I looked at it.
Warning:
Changelings
(0) (0)
on the
loose
Damn sign was staring at me. It seemed happy to do it, too. So happy that it was nice and sweet on my tongue. Hmm... Lunch. I opened my mouth and got my fill, but it didn't seem to mind. It was still pretty happy.
This could be fun.
Then I remembered. Im... Impus... GLOBULUS IMPROBULUS!! You know, when we were all 'conceived,' there was all sorts of stuff dumped in our swamp. I wonder if one of these got tossed in by mistake.
I took the appearance of that tree cutting pony. My new little buddy changed itself into an axe and we took to the road on our merry way.
And so we went out to have our own brand of fun. Whatever little thing came to mind, we did it. Found a warning sign for a curve in the road. My buddy turned into a saw and I cut it down. I whipped it into the river.
A buggy came cruising down the road. Some of those hapless horses were out doing whatever they pleased. Without a proper warning, the damn thing flew clear off the curve and into the watery ditch.
Nobody was hurt. Damn. The poor pathetic ponies who got their precious hooves wet saw us at the top. Or at least the lumbering idiot. We ran off and both changed. I turned into a pony I remember from the castle and my friend turned into a decorative hat on my head.
The little guy was happy that he could help again, and I fed again. Started to turn into a nice little cycle.
My friend and I happened across a marketplace. Fruits and vegetables all over the place. Yuck. I don't eat that stuff. But everyone was so sugary sweet with joy that I could eat that instead. But not without a little fun. Gotta have my fun.
I convinced the pony behind the counter to step away for a few minutes. He went to look for something and left the booth unattended. And then I changed into him.
Buddy turned into a bat (the sports kind) and I started hitting the poor schmuck's precious produce into the field. It was pretty funny when ponies lollygagging around were suddenly pelted with potatoes. Of course I didn't pay for any of it. Why would I? As far down as I could and as quickly as I could, I nailed a few good suckers.
Before I left, my friend turned into a mallet and I golf-swung into a nice juicy watermelon. Splatterings of red and green covered the nearest dozen ponies. I just laughed as they were all covered in fruity fragments.
The vendor came back just as I ducked behind the counter and switched to someone else. And my batty buddy was something else as well. All those pelted ponies came running back to 'me' and started arguing with the putz. Other vendors started lauching their wares at the 'offending' vendor. Before long at all, the marketplace that was all happy and tranquil was starting an all-out food fight.
None of them had a clue.
We slipped into town without notice. I walked around with my buddy on my back. He had changed into a parrot of some type and was bouncing happily. The thought of more amusement struck my fancy. But where?
There. That could be fun. I looked up and saw a shop with a big glass window on the front of it. Of all things that these pretty little ponies loved was their appearances. And a mane salon is perfect.
There was one mare in there that was tending to three or so of her fellow twits. Of those three, none of them were paying attention. I walked in merrily as another mare in need of her services and watched her mill about. She walked out of sight for a moment, and that was all I needed. I incapacitated her long enough for a little amusement.
I walked out in her visage with a broad smile. They had no idea.
My little friend had changed into a scissors and joyously started on its work. It started clipping at random, watching me as I kind of mocked what I had in mind for it to do. It then started in earnest with a little jingle in its voice.
I started on another and quickly made a bit of a masterpiece of my own. A little off here. A little off there. A lot off everywhere. I gave the twerp a manecut that resembled the fin on the back of a Changeling. I thought it was cute.
My humming buddy gave an almost random manecut to its target before we started on the third. We didn't actually cut it, but dyed and styled to the tune of my Queen's mane.
When we were done, we craned our heads into the back where our mirror image had started to wake. I dashed out the front before she could see. And once again, a fracus was started. As another pony, I swung around to the front window again and watched the fiasco unfold. The three customers were outraged with what 'she' had done and a minor war broke out.
The action amused my friend and I was nourished again.
I will be the first to admit that the world of these equines is strange and sometimes hard to watch. They're selfish. They're indulgent. They're arrogant. When my Queen started to take over places one after another, I questioned why. Why march through all these self-centered wretches?
And now I know--Because it's fun!!
As I walk down the road as one of these foolish creatures, a smile runs across my face. I can do this as much as I want. Nobody can stop me. Not even those precious ponies.
